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192 pages, Paperback
Published January 10, 2023
I'm sitting on a rock, notebook in hand, taking notes.
A man approaches me, stops, and looks.
I stop writing and look at him too.
Can you write a letter for me, Bey? he asks.
I can, I say. Let me hear it.
Write then, he says, that I've never forgotten her. That she's never left my dreams. Did you write?
I wrote.
Write then: We crossed the mountains, made it here safely.
But who knows where we'll be sent next. Did you write?
I wrote.
I'll send word to you when I get there. So you come and find me. Or I, you. Did you write?
I wrote.
That's all, he says. Now hand me the letter.
I tear out the page; handing it to him, I ask, And to whom did we write the letter?
She knows who she is, he says.
Folding the paper in quarters, he puts it in his pocket.
All well and good, but how are you going to get it to her?
Eh, I'll maybe find someone headed that way.
[22]
On this mountain where God left you all alone, by yourself, what dreams visit you?
Do you remember your childhood?
By the sea, there you are, in your trunks, under the scalding August sun, walking into the water, the pebbled seabed, without a whereto, mussels cutting into your soft soles, you dive in, your first breaststrokes, you're almost swimming, the panic when your feet can't touch the pebbles, your arms failing, the clumsy strokes to get back to the shallow, bobbing and sinking, the seawater taste in your throat, the coughs, the panic you try to conceal, then (months later) the rainfall, the floodwaters, the metal shards and coins you look for along the riverbeds (with your friends), then the snowfall, the endless snowfall, the walk to school, the steaming cup of salep and the buttered pogaça, the walk back from school, sledding downhill, on your wooden satchel, then home, the slaps you receive, while wetting your pants, how you wish you were dead, how you wish you were not of this world.
[51]