4.5 / 5: "I've had enough hard things in my life. You are a much-welcomed relief."
okay first things first, i'd like to sincerely thank the author for following through on that little teaser that there was more to come for our favorite characters at the ending of the last book. as taken as i am with jae & jun from the awakening (loves of my life!!), getting to revisit haru & nino in their version of events of their time in the last book was as welcome a relief as haru says himself to nino about him coming into his life.
the writing was...very flowery, most remarkably during the intimate scenes between haru & nino, and it was kind of disorienting to be quite honest. part of me understood that this was to show the depth of these two's insurmountable love for each other and it definitely was made very clear. i liked how much it read as poetry at some point because these two are just such huge romantics absolutely soft for the other and they have been through too much to hold back now. i appreciated that in all these intimate details, the author continued to explore haru's own trauma from the years he'd spent malnourished due to the loss & grief he encountered after his first mate cheated on him. the significance of this bond made between the vampires in lore & lust is as compelling as it was harrowing because when this bond breaks, it is out of a force that is detrimental to the pair that initially tethered themselves to each other.
in a completely other circumstance, i could delve into the complexity of such a consequence but in the case of this story, i think it's more important to think about how much trust haru lost in a person who could have even be considered a close friend at some point, and yet he was treated so horribly beyond just physical. being from old blood as a purebred, haru's power is beyond the beyond, and it's his aura that lures first, second-gen, and third-gen vampires to his vicinity. to have that kind of power, and be someone who is much more introverted than anything else, it causes such a detrimental effect to feel that he has to further isolate himself so as to prevent not just suffering any more hurt but potentially affecting other vampires to the extreme. meeting nino in the first book, it was so incredibly important for them both to have found each other.
i think that in this novella, what i appreciate even more is how the author dove deeper into what makes bonds so much like magic. we see characters like haru & jun, who both abused themselves in different ways because of the trauma that these bonds formed between vampires caused, and they find someone who gently shows them how much love and softness is waiting for them. this bond has a mind of its own, and it's so hard to predict what exactly defines it (even despite how much haru and his family have studied on the subject). to read these love stories and see haru & jun witness what makes a bond so strong, not in how it can be manipulated, but in how much closer it can bring two souls together in completely individual ways--it's everything to me. it meant everything to see haru get to be such a far-gone romantic poet whenever he spoke about nino, and to see that same energy reflected in how nino perceives haru.
to get to learn more about nino's own troubles about becoming a father due to the unstable relationship he shared with his own, as well as with his older brother, it broke my heart to see him feel so undeserving to get to have that paternal role. despite being older than haru, nino reads so much younger in all his softness and insecurities and yet there's so much growth to be seen in his character from the first book up to end of this novella. he's as eager and charming as he's always been, but he gradually does come to have more solid footing not just with himself, but in his career and with his family. as much as i have some mixed feelings about certain points of the vanishing, the exploration of two characters who are very close & dear to nino's heart, cellina & giovanni (the latter his brother), was very important as it ties together even more in this novella. getting some resolution with nino and giovanni, seeing how much it helps in making nino feel more positive about what comes next for him as a father, it was also everything.
nino & haru are just such different people and were at such different places in their lives before they met, and so their union just makes me feel very emotional at how much good change they bring in each other once their paths crossed. the reassurance they provided for the other in dark moments of doubt only made their bond even stronger, and once everything unfurls when nami, their daughter, is born, it all comes together so beautifully as like witnessing the blooming of a bright flower. i'm so happy that in all that development we saw over months previous to nami's birth, we got to see small glimpses into the happy (and frustrating) memories haru & nino shared with their first-born child after. the sense of found family in this novella is absolutely heart-warming, characters like asao & sydney providing a lot more warmth in this bubble of happiness haru & nino have created. i'm even more happy to have gotten to see a little bit of jae & jun (read again: loves of my life!!) and see how well they also fit into this huge family in the lore & lust universe.
i would be thrilled if there was even the slightest chance at seeing more of all of them, but for now i'm just contented that i got to read a little of what they've been up to for some time. if only more people would know about them, that would be absolutely huge and completely well-deserved for the author.
content warnings:
sexual content