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Darkwater: A Pastor's Memoir of Depression and Faith
There is a voice in Michael's head.A voice that tells him he is worthless and unlovable. The voice masquerades as his own, wreaking havoc on his friendships and romantic relationships. It keeps him from pursuing his calling—a career as a pastor. It tears his life apart piece by piece, leading him to attempt suicide on more than one occasion. The voice almost defeats him, and yet there is another, more powerful voice—the still, small voice of God always whispering to him, “I love you.”
This is the true story of Michael’s journey from a precocious child in a small town to the spiritual leader of a faith community, and how he slowly and fitfully learns how to listen to the better angels within. Told with brutal honesty and insight into his own mental condition, this is a story of friendship, depression, despair, faith, and a God who refuses to let go.
This is the true story of Michael’s journey from a precocious child in a small town to the spiritual leader of a faith community, and how he slowly and fitfully learns how to listen to the better angels within. Told with brutal honesty and insight into his own mental condition, this is a story of friendship, depression, despair, faith, and a God who refuses to let go.
288 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 7, 2022
31 people are currently reading
12 people want to read
About the author
Michael J. Scholtes
1 book2 followersRev. Michael J. Scholtes is an ordained minister in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. He has served as pastor of several congregations in eastern Pennsylvania. Michael currently lives in the Lehigh Valley with his wife Heather and children Alex and Ben. Keep up with Michael by visiting his blog here: http://www.thescholtes.com.
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
June 12, 2022
I really enjoyed reading this memoire, and I would highly recommend it to anyone with an interest in learning more about mental illness, depression, and searching for one’s faith in difficult times.
As a mental health professional, I appreciated the author’s courage and openness in sharing his journey. De-stigmatizing mental illness is so very important - now more than ever - and the way that this was modeled thought out the book was inspiring. This memoire provides insight into the lived experience of depression which will benefit helping professionals, both secular and faith-based alike.
As someone who also has depression and a voice that often accuses me of being an imposter, I found this book to be very relatable. And it was also very unique, as everyone’s journey with depression is different and individual. It is a story of strength and hope, of navigating through life with the thorns that we all carry and finding strength and meaning through them.
I enjoyed the combination of prose and verse throughout the book, and especially the metaphors that were used to illustrate and give insight into the author’s relationship with depression. In particular, I loved the chapter titled Darkwater - the revelation of what the dark water really was. The book ended with hope and faith, and also the realism that depression is not cured, but rather something that we learn to live with and get through. I look forward to following this author’s journey over the coming years and decades. And I hope that he continues to write and publish. Thank you for sharing your heart and your journey.
As a mental health professional, I appreciated the author’s courage and openness in sharing his journey. De-stigmatizing mental illness is so very important - now more than ever - and the way that this was modeled thought out the book was inspiring. This memoire provides insight into the lived experience of depression which will benefit helping professionals, both secular and faith-based alike.
As someone who also has depression and a voice that often accuses me of being an imposter, I found this book to be very relatable. And it was also very unique, as everyone’s journey with depression is different and individual. It is a story of strength and hope, of navigating through life with the thorns that we all carry and finding strength and meaning through them.
I enjoyed the combination of prose and verse throughout the book, and especially the metaphors that were used to illustrate and give insight into the author’s relationship with depression. In particular, I loved the chapter titled Darkwater - the revelation of what the dark water really was. The book ended with hope and faith, and also the realism that depression is not cured, but rather something that we learn to live with and get through. I look forward to following this author’s journey over the coming years and decades. And I hope that he continues to write and publish. Thank you for sharing your heart and your journey.
March 21, 2023
This book was entered in The Wishing Shelf Book Awards. This is what our readers thought:
Title: Darkwater: A Pastor's Memoir of Depression and Faith
Author: Michael Scholtes
Star Rating: 4 Stars
Number of Readers: 15
Stats
Editing: 8/10
Writing Style: 7/10
Content: 7/10
Cover: 3/5
Of the 15 readers:
11 would read another book by this author.
10 thought the cover was good or excellent.
15 felt it was easy to follow.
12 would recommend this book to another reader to try.
Of all the readers, 5 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘subject knowledge’.
Of all the readers, 6 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘writing style’.
Of all the readers, 4 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘clarity of message’.
10 felt the pacing was good or excellent.
11 thought the author understood the readership and what they wanted.
Readers’ Comments
“I suspect this book would be excellent for people feeling endlessly depressed. It´s insightful and has an ´honest´ feel to it.” Male reader, aged 47
“A powerful story of a man´s struggle with his inner demons. This is very much a personal journey, honestly told and filled with darker moments – and light. I enjoyed it very much.” Female reader, aged 61
“The writing style is excellent, with a good flow to it. The author not only has a story to tell, but he also has the writing skills to put it across to the reader.” Female reader, aged 55
“As there is a strong ´faith´ element to this pastor´s story, it might not be for everybody. But it´s still richly written, insightful and, of course, terribly sad in parts. I have never suffered in this way, but it must truly be awful; in a way, this is the book´s strength – it shows the reader how it feels to feel, well, nothing – just empty.” Female reader, aged 34
To Sum It Up:
‘A skilfully written insight into depression. A RED RIBBON WINNER and highly recommended!’ The Wishing Shelf Book Awards
Title: Darkwater: A Pastor's Memoir of Depression and Faith
Author: Michael Scholtes
Star Rating: 4 Stars
Number of Readers: 15
Stats
Editing: 8/10
Writing Style: 7/10
Content: 7/10
Cover: 3/5
Of the 15 readers:
11 would read another book by this author.
10 thought the cover was good or excellent.
15 felt it was easy to follow.
12 would recommend this book to another reader to try.
Of all the readers, 5 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘subject knowledge’.
Of all the readers, 6 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘writing style’.
Of all the readers, 4 felt the author’s strongest skill was ‘clarity of message’.
10 felt the pacing was good or excellent.
11 thought the author understood the readership and what they wanted.
Readers’ Comments
“I suspect this book would be excellent for people feeling endlessly depressed. It´s insightful and has an ´honest´ feel to it.” Male reader, aged 47
“A powerful story of a man´s struggle with his inner demons. This is very much a personal journey, honestly told and filled with darker moments – and light. I enjoyed it very much.” Female reader, aged 61
“The writing style is excellent, with a good flow to it. The author not only has a story to tell, but he also has the writing skills to put it across to the reader.” Female reader, aged 55
“As there is a strong ´faith´ element to this pastor´s story, it might not be for everybody. But it´s still richly written, insightful and, of course, terribly sad in parts. I have never suffered in this way, but it must truly be awful; in a way, this is the book´s strength – it shows the reader how it feels to feel, well, nothing – just empty.” Female reader, aged 34
To Sum It Up:
‘A skilfully written insight into depression. A RED RIBBON WINNER and highly recommended!’ The Wishing Shelf Book Awards
June 24, 2022
This is a very heartfelt book. It must have been so hard to come out and tell all of his troubles from childhood to the present. I felt for him, prayed for him and identified with him.
Some people don't understand depression. The author goes into great depth about his struggles, the difficulties, the ways he tried to overcome it all. He tells of his closest friends and family, how they reacted and how they helped him on his journey. He even openly and honestly relates the times he thought the world would be better off with out him and gives in to his "dark voice" to end his life. Then how he fights in his later adult life to tame these thoughts and feelings. Even for a time questioning his faith and the love of God.
The book is very easy to read and held my attention through out to the end. I read it in two sittings only because I had to get up early the next day! I'd like to thank him for being so truthful and honest sharing his story. I wish him well in the future. Keep up the good fight Pastor.
Some people don't understand depression. The author goes into great depth about his struggles, the difficulties, the ways he tried to overcome it all. He tells of his closest friends and family, how they reacted and how they helped him on his journey. He even openly and honestly relates the times he thought the world would be better off with out him and gives in to his "dark voice" to end his life. Then how he fights in his later adult life to tame these thoughts and feelings. Even for a time questioning his faith and the love of God.
The book is very easy to read and held my attention through out to the end. I read it in two sittings only because I had to get up early the next day! I'd like to thank him for being so truthful and honest sharing his story. I wish him well in the future. Keep up the good fight Pastor.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews