Bezpieczeństwo kobiet z zespołem Aspergera: Umiejętności życiowe, które mogą uratować niejedną dziewczynę

by Liane Holliday Willey

Osoba z zespołem Aspergera napotyka w życiu wiele wyzwań, a sytuacje jasne i jednoznaczne dla jej neurotypowych rówieśników bywają dla niej skomplikowaną zagadką. Przez to może mieć trudności z rozwiązywaniem codziennych problemów i zapewnieniem sobie bezpieczeństwa – zarówno fizycznego, jak i emocjonalnego. Sytuacja staje się jeszcze bardziej skomplikowana ze względu na płeć. Doświadczenie zespołu Aspergera jest słabiej opisane z perspektywy kobiety. Większość diagnoz i opisów zachowań dotyczy chłopców i mężczyzn – rozpoznawalność w stosunku do dziewczyn i kobiet wynosi 4:1.

Odrzucenie, depresja, zaburzenia odżywiania, większe niebezpieczeństwo nadużyć seksualnych czy zmaganie się z fałszywymi diagnozami, jak schizofrenia, to codzienność kobiet z zespołem Aspergera. Liane Holliday Willey opisuje strategie radzenia sobie z konkretnymi sytuacjami spotykającymi kobiety takie jak ona. Robi to z perspektywy własnych przeżyć. Do książki przedmowę napisał Tony Attwood, psycholog, niekwestionowany autorytet w temacie spektrum autyzmu.

Genres: Autistic Spectrum Disorder, Nonfiction, Psychology, Self Help, Aspergers, Health, Mental Health

208 pages, Paperback

First published August 15, 2011

Reviews

[Heather · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title is incredibly misleading. I thought this book would be full of useful information, but it was more like a memoir. A memoir of things that happened to the author because she has Asperger's and how to recognize if you're the same way. She acknowledges that we're all different, but then goes into detail only on what she's experienced. The focused travel tips were pretty much the only new and useful information I got from the book.

[Kelly · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 stars. Long story of how I ended up reading this book, as I am not the target audience (women who have Asperger’s-related safety issues), but it was an intriguing read. Reminded me of a few of my former students and their frustrations and confusion navigating the neurotypical world. A couple of her suggestions felt overblown and paranoid to me, e.g., staying on the phone with hotel staff as you check under beds and in closets each time you get a new hotel room; not wearing your hair in a ponytail or braid while traveling because it’s easier to grab. The final chapter on spirit was also a bit lackluster. Apart from that, an interesting installation in the literature about life on the spectrum. I thought her metaphors were generally well-developed and helpful for explaining how Asperger's really feels.

Also, I loved how unapologetic she was about emphasizing that the dominant culture is not necessarily better; it's just something that a person with Asperger's should be prepared to navigate. As a corollary, just because something violates currently accepted social norms doesn't mean it's inherently wrong. My favorite passage from the book, hands down:

“I’m not sure why, but apparently [neurotypicals] are prone to think the following topics are not meant for casual discussion:
* political viewpoints
* personal fears and insecurities
* past interpersonal relationships
* religion
* personal finances

“Some even believe these topics should never be raised at functions of any kind. Too bad for me, because some of my most favorite obsessive interests are in the list, but I’m learning (after decades of offending people without meaning to) that I should avoid these topics unless someone brings them up and seems wholeheartedly interested in an open debate. But even then, I’ve made some past faux pas by not knowing when to end the debate and close the discussion. It’s clearly up to you to discuss whatever you like, but be warned these subjects stir up something in [neurotypical] people I can’t figure out.”

[D. · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was hoping for more practical advice regarding the most dangerous aspect of an autistic woman's life - other people. I don't know if it is practical or fair of me to expect advice in that regard from another autistic woman. I do think the book would be useful for young women just venturing out in the world, as they aren't jaded, bitter, old lemons like me. :p

[El]

Time to reclaim space on my bookshelf...

Totally forgot I had read this book a while back!

I grabbed this for a few dollars when I saw it at the op-shop because I thought it could be useful for helping me understand female aspies better but also use as a comparison to the more commonly identified traits in males.

It’s an easy read and I’m sure it is helpful for some girls and women on the spectrum but overall it’s more an introduction and from what I know of ASD, it doesn’t cover enough. Considering this was published in 2012 when there was still a huge lack of information and support for females on the spectrum, it would have met a need for some but my guess is there would be more up to date and broader scope of books for females with autism nowadays. I hope so.

Anyway maybe it will be helpful to someone else. I’m putting it in the car to go back to the op-shop, when they start taking donations again.

[Lydia · Rating 2 out of 5]

So I went back and forth a lot of how to rate this book. Basically, it’s a good introduction to a lot of the things ASD women struggle with, but suffers from being vague, dated, and generic.

I get it. It’s hard to write a book that will accurately reflect a broad spectrum of people. The solution is to write from specific experience and caveat it as your own, not attempt to generalize and make universal self help suggestions.

This book left me wanting. As a woman with ASD, it often didn’t reflect my experiences while using language like it should. A lot of the more personal and meaningful parts were left vague—I’d much rather hear a specific aspie woman’s account of how abuse was specifically hard for her than her generalizations about abuse of aspie women.

So perhaps this book is a good introduction. I personally, as someone who deeply understands and self-analyzes the issues discussed here, got the most out of the table of contents.

Do I recommend? Sure. It’s an introduction. It probably has some good advice that an aspie woman hadn’t thought of—and I find that ASD often renders “obvious” things not obvious at all. While it didn’t work for me, that’s not to say it can’t help someone else.

[Susanna · Rating 5 out of 5]

The title of this book is misleading. Really, it describes various situations that females with ASD may experience — highlighted by the author’s own examples — and then it offers coping strategies for each category of challenge. A useful reference.

It also includes a handy introduction by Tony Attwood about girls on the spectrum and a list at the end of possible female ASD traits.

[Justine · Rating 1 out of 5]

Couldn't even finish it which is rare for me. Was looking for insight but found the advice to be childish, annoying and shallow.

[Fleur · Rating 1 out of 5]

Misschien komt het omdat er in de tien jaar dat het boek bestaat veel ontwikkelingen zijn geweest op het gebied van autisme, maar ik vond het een flutboek. Het staat vol met eigen ervaringen en trauma’s, en de tips die erin staat zijn infantiel en gericht op aanpassen (kom op tijd op afspraken, loop er niet te slonzig bij, glimlach, etc.). Toen ik de zin “Net als iedere goede Asperger wist hij dat hij een kennisverzamelaar moest zijn (…)” las, haakte ik af. Misschien vat ik het te serieus op, maar ik vind het niet oké om onderscheid te maken tussen goede en slechte Aspergers/autisten. Ik bladerde het boek nog even snel door om te zien of het beter zou worden, maar ik wist genoeg toen mijn oog viel op het hoofdstuk ‘Waarschuwingssignalen: heeft dit meisje of deze vrouw misschien Asperger?’ Really? Alsof dat potentieel gevaar oplevert?

Nee, niet mijn soort boek.

[Linda Degise-kotowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Liane Holliday Willey has given readers practical advice in "Safety Skills for Asperger Women" How to See a Perfectly Good Female Life". The advice goes beyond how to prevent oneself from being taken advantage of. She gives advice and ideas on how women who struggle with asperger's can feel more comfortable in social situations.
Ms. Holliday Willey was diagnosed with asbergers at these of 35 and has overcome so many obstacles in her life. She's a success story and a positive role model.
I strongly suggest this book to any woman who has struggles with asperges's. And to parents of daughters with asperges's.

[Florence · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting facts and tips from Liane Holliday Willey's experience in life.

[Summer Stirling · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. More for younger women, but still had some useful tips.

[Nicola Paszkowski · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is my go-to for all people who wish to understand Asperger women. Whilst the autism spectrum is most certainly a vast one, this enables people to narrow down their research to one gender. Asperger Syndrome is a very complex strand of autism, but by writing about her own experiences, Liane does a fantastic job of providing an insight into what it's like to be an autistic woman. A must-read for all Asperger's women out there - and indeed for everyone in my opinion!

[Laura Cushing · Rating 3 out of 5]

A fairly useful book that covers a variety of health and safety issues that a woman with aspergers might face. The parts on spiritualism were a bit too out there for my taste, but everyone's different.

There are some very useful recipes for making your own hygienic products that contain natural ingredients for those of us with chemical sensitivities.

[Jacqui · Rating 2 out of 5]

this came across to me as common sense BUT would have been VERY useful when I was more naive about manipulative people and my inability at the time to realise that not everyone up front and black and white like me. But since I've already learned the hard way with many situations illustrated in this book, for me personally it was nothing new.

[Cory · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent and informative. It brought up a lot of memories and helped to understand past occurrences better.

[Ami E. Bowen · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an eye opener! Every Aspie woman should have a copy on her shelf or within easy reach! Five stars!

[Renate Eveline · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ok as a self-help book of the "look what I've found out" variety. Sometimes a bit too obvious and repetitive, but useful as a whole.

[Chris]

Meh. This one's just not working for me.