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Love as Always, Kurt: Vonnegut as I Knew Him

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A loving, intimate memoir from a lifelong friend of Kurt Vonnegut, including photos and never-before-published correspondence When Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. ducked into his classroom at the Iowa Writer’s Workshop in September of 1965, his jokes drew only weak laughter and a few rolled eyes. But workshop student Loree Rackstraw was quietly impressed by this “great bear of a man” and his down-to-earth sensibilities about writing. That fall, an impossible romance began between the then-unknown author and his student—a brief affair that matured into a joyful, lifelong friendship. Rackstraw distills four decades of memories and Vonnegut’s letters to her into an affectionate memoir that crackles with the creative energy of one of America’s most beloved writers. Rackstraw’s unique perspective on Vonnegut’s life and how it shaped his famous works portrays a deeply humane man who looked for the humor and absurdity in life in order to survive. And then there are Vonnegut’s own Whether energetic about new projects or frustrated with the “game” of writing and selling “a gazoolian copies,” Vonnegut writes with the playful imagination and generous, accessible brilliance that have always been his trademarks.
 

304 pages

First published March 10, 2009

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Loree Rackstraw

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Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews
Profile Image for Diane.
156 reviews17 followers
April 30, 2010
Love as Always, Kurt: Vonnegut as I Knew Him, by Loree Rackstraw, is a memoir, not about the author's life, but about her life as it intersected with Kurt Vonnegut's. Rackstraw, professor emeritus at the University of Northern Iowa, first met Vonnegut at the Iowa Writer's Workshop where she was a student and he was a visiting professor. They struck up a friendship that developed into a relationship lasting until his death in April 2007.

As a long-time reader of Vonnegut's works, I was excited to find a book that promised to give an inside look at the "real" man. What I took away from the book was that he was brighter than most in many ways, but he was also an ordinary, rather stereotypical man in other ways. Rackstraw's relationship with Vonnegut, after the first flush of passion, became a phone and letter relationship. The phone conversations weren't recorded, of course, and Rackstraw included only parts of letters. Most of the letters dealt with Vonnegut's doubts about his work, even though he was supportive of Rackstraw in whatever she undertook.

Unfortunately, the subtext of the book is that Vonnegut was a user to a certain extent. Maybe that's not an accurate protrayal of what the man really was, but that's what came through his letters and Rackstraw's depiction of their relationship over the years.

Interestingly, Vonnegut became more compelling as he aged and started speaking out against the Bush admininistration, the war, and other abuses of the first decade of the 21st century. One must marvel at the energy that kept him angry until the day he stumbled on the steps of his brownstone in New York City and went into the coma that ended his life.

Reading this book, despite everything, brought back good memories for me of reading Vonnegut in the '70s and '80s. I would often take one of his books to read if I had to fly anywhere and I was able to strike up a conversation with a stranger who was also a Vonnegut fan. It was if we were part of a not-so secret society spread out all over the world.
Profile Image for nicole.
2,232 reviews73 followers
September 25, 2009
done, i quit. i love kurt vonnegut, but if i wanted to read a social diary i would have. i don't know what made me expect this would be comprised solely of his letters to rackstraw.

also, like, did they do it? they totally did it right? and then she just bros out with his wives? and then they must do it throughout all the time. like jill i wasn't having it. and if that's the case then for christ's sake why didn't you say it!

i guess what i want to read is a kurt vonnegut biography and this simply isn't it.
Profile Image for Cynda.
1,438 reviews179 followers
February 2, 2025
This year I plan a microstudy of Vonnegut, including a friendship memoir, a writing theory book by Vonnegut, and six novels by Vonnegut. . . . . Well not the memoir. The friendship was not that familiar after a short emotional affair, yet the memoir continues on, providing not.much connection and only some insight. The small amount of insight is not enough to continue on reading.




Profile Image for Stephanie McCown.
74 reviews16 followers
March 27, 2013
This book is a "must read" for any Vonnegut devotee! Loree Rackstraw paints a beautiful and intimate portrait of her friend, Kurt Vonnegut, in a way only someone who knew him to his core would be able to do. This book helps make Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., a real human being rather than something as abstract as "author, artist, playwright, public speaker," or any other of that sort of label one could place on him. Loree Rackstraw's way of relating was so down to earth and conversational, I ended the book feeling as though I had just been talking to a good friend, reminiscing with her about our mutual friend, Kurt Vonnegut. You know a book is good when you can feel that as you read it.

Among the many things I learned about Kurt, I was especially moved to learn that he had a special concern for single moms. He recognized that it is incredibly difficult to be a single mother, and it would be nearly impossible to do without a network of supportive family and friends to help carry the load. He seemed to understand the unique challenges a single mother faces, as well as understanding that not everyone appreciates what single mothers go through just to keep themselves sane and able to continue caring for their child(ren). Single motherhood is a daunting task, and Kurt Vonnegut's recognition of this stirred great compassion in him. Knowing this about him made me admire him all the more.

I recommend this book to anyone who appreciates Kurt Vonnegut's work, be it his books, his public speaking, his artwork, or his brilliant wit and satire. It offers a greater understanding of the man behind the marketing image, and, in my opinion, makes him all the more endearing.

Profile Image for Adam Floridia.
606 reviews30 followers
May 8, 2009
Somewhere early on I became cynical towards Rackstraw, which made it hard to enjoy most of the book. She was one of Vonnegut's students at the Iowa Writer's Workshop and developed an, according to her, deep friendship, and, alluded to by her, at times sordid relationship with my hero. Maybe it's jealousy not cynicism or maybe it's both, but I repeatedly asked myself, "Who Cares?" numerous times while reading her personal anecdotes filled with tedious tales of her own life and her repeated "name-dropping" of literary figures he (so, she) knew. I often wondered what her true relationship with him was and if this book was not more self-serving than anything else.

All in all, I learned very little new about Vonnegut. She included mere snippets of a dozen or so letters he sent her and a handful of miraculously remembered conversations with him. There are no great insights nor any startling revelations into his character.

Again, though, perhaps I am cynical and jealous because I was only able to correspond with him half a dozen times. Also on the plus side, hearing about some other books that influenced Vonnegut did prompt me to add three new books to my "to-read" list.
Profile Image for Wes Young.
336 reviews7 followers
April 18, 2009
I wanted this book to be really, really great. It wasn't, it was just kind of interesting. It fills in the gaps of what was going on in Kurt's life (as seen through a series of phone calls/written correspondence) in between the great, and good, novels. A lot of speculation, a lot of tedious information of the author's life, but I suppose if 1)Kurt's 2nd wife, or, 2)Kurt's children weren't available to write a book about Kurt's life, Loree Rackstraw seems to be the most 'In-the-know' in that pecking order. This book, I can see, would really only appeal to hardcore Vonnegut fans, which is fine because I don't think a general 'reader' would bother to pick this up...
Profile Image for Matt.
Author 1 book12 followers
August 22, 2013
The first 2/3 of this book will be redundant to anyone who's read Vonnegut's own memoirs. It's the last 1/3, about his later life that will be the most interesting to Vonnegut fans.
Profile Image for Fred Cheyunski.
355 reviews14 followers
July 2, 2021
An Intimate Portrait - Loree Rackstraw's "Love as Always, Kurt: Vonnegut as I Knew Him" is this reviewer's favorite of the various Kurt Vonnegut (KV) auto/biographical materials appearing in recent years (for example, see also "And So It Goes" by Charles Shields and "The Letters of Kurt Vonnegut" edited by Dan Wakefield which are also very helpful). While the other works trace KV's life from his early years, this volume proceeds from the time Ms. Rackstraw met KV when she was one of his students at the Iowa University Writers Workshop in the late 1960's (around the time when he was finishing "Slaughterhouse Five" ). She was apparently a KV paramour and muse, then confidant and friend until his death in 2007. Such intimate knowledge provides an overall sympathetic yet balanced account with many revelations for those who have a particular interest in KV (e.g. she recounts KV as he moves from lesser known to famous writer, her interactions with his wives Jane Vonnegut, Jill Krementz, and their children as well as KV influences and pursuits). Having been a writer and professor at the University of Northern Iowa (there a colleague of Jerome Klinkowitz, author of "The Vonnegut Effect," a fine literary interpretation), Rackstraw has also contributed to scholarly works on KV such as "The Vonnegut Chronicles: Interviews and Essays" and "Kurt Vonnegut: Images and Representations" both edited by Marc Leeds and Peter Reed; such personal and scholarly familiarity provide an added depth to her observations and insights.

As one who purchased a silkscreen print of one of KV's drawings from the mid 1970's penned for "Breakfast of Champions" and curious about these inclusions in his novels, this reviewer found Rackstaw's narrative especially telling. Her recounting of their initial shared interest in drawing, KV's "doodling" in his manuscript margins, his "art show" in the early 1980's, and his mailing of drawings to her were revealing. Description of KV's joint venture with the silkscreen artist Joe Petro and his residency in the late 1990's at Northampton, MA (when this reviewer made his acquaintance briefly) provided some interesting details and explanation. The incorporation of the KV drawings along with her text helps make the connections between his writing and art. For example at the end of the book, she ventures that "It seemed the use of traditional narrative for expressive rational thought was insufficient for making sense out of his experience."

Ms. Rackstraw does provide an intimate portrait of KV, the writer and artist, which proves even more compelling as a book on his drawings has been published by his daughter Nanny ("Kurt Vonnegut Drawings" with an introduction by Nannette Vonnegut and preface by Peter Reed) and helps make sense of it all.
Profile Image for archive ☄.
392 reviews18 followers
November 30, 2020
ok there are tears still drying on my face... i devoured almost this entire book in only two days, and then had to force myself to slow down so i could savor what little remained... this book. this book!! it isn't perfect by any means but it brought me such joy and such sorrow that i can't help but give it five stars.

goodness, where have all the words gone.... suffice it to say that i love kurt and i love loree and i love their friendship and their letters and their inside jokes and their devotion to one another and i love the pictures of them where kurt is absolutely towering over her like an enormous and ridiculous oak tree, i love them, i love them, i love them! the number of times i whispered "i'm mad jealous" while reading this is beyond calculation. what a beautiful friendship. they were so good for each other <3
Profile Image for Sorin Hadârcă.
Author 3 books259 followers
May 16, 2020
Hardly a biography, the book is a very forgiving memoir on Vonnegut by a former lovemate. It could have gone with the subtitle: an intermittent love affair or so it goes. Turns out, Vonnegut's pants are safely on throughout all 260 pages that inform the aficionados of the occasional garden parties and public appearances. Some insights into the writer's ideosincracies are revealing: his constant need of audience, his stride to hangout with the top league, his perseverance to publish all.
Profile Image for Alicia Kovac.
50 reviews
December 16, 2017
A great read if you’re a fan of Vonnegut! Provides a unique perspective of his life from someone who knew him so well. Admittedly, I lost interest in the middle but was engaged again by the end. It has inspired me to read more of Vonnegut’s work. Well done.
28 reviews
December 13, 2025
I think any Vonnegut enthusiast would enjoy this. I've heard the story of Kurt's life before, and watched the documentaries, but a lot of this book was new to me.
Profile Image for Karendale2.
107 reviews1 follower
May 31, 2009
The first book I read by Kurt Vonnegut was Player Piano and followed by Cat’s Cradle. He appealed to me with his sense of madness at humanity touched with malevolent humor. I was young at the time, ideal, mad in my own way, with humor to cover a pervasive dissatisfaction and inability to effect change. As I approached the age of 30, I stopped reading Vonnegut with Breakfast of Champions. I was unhappy by his devastating view of humanity. I got on with living and raising a family.

After 20 years absence, I read Loree Rackstraw’s book and return to the Kurt Vonnegut I remember. Hers is not a tell all tale of some secret relationship. It is a revealing narrative on the life of Kurt that Loree Rackstraw saw first hand, her or mentor at Iowa Writer's Workshop, or though correspondence. Kurt’s letter writing is always informative. Kurt did not have the ability to say unimportant things. So I listened. And it brought me round to the same worry and concerns he had in the last years of his life. It touches on language, evolution, and what is to be a sentient being.

I enjoyed the synchronicity with some of things that Loree Rackstraw writes. I read Mark Twain’s Mysterious Stranger in the same time period I read Vonnegut. Twain was required reading for Freshmen English/Composition class at University of Michigan. There is an affinity the two writers share, misanthropes. This is not to say Loree Rackstraw’s book is unhappy. Yes, there are some unhappy events but through it all Kurt Vonnegut was a kind, generous spirit who believed in the extended family. Also we must have fun and play.

Some of the best parts of the book are about other writers at the Iowa Writer’s Workshop, Richard Yates and Andre Dubus. I enjoyed visiting the lives of these writers and the last years of Kurt Vonnegut’s writing and family life.

Profile Image for Greg Talbot.
699 reviews22 followers
April 6, 2013
Loving tribute to her lover and artistic inspiration, Loree Rackstraw chronicles Kurt Vonnegut Jr's live as she knew him. Here we see Vonnegut from a very personal viewpoint. From his depression bouts, to celebrations with other liteary figures (Updike, Mailer) you get the entire gambit of Vonnegut's life. Vonnegut's liteary ambitions seem to be a vehicle for making a larger impression in society. For instance with liteary success from “Slaughterhouse 5”, he would go beyond just an author profession. He got involved in plays, went to Africa to take accounts of atrocities there, and became something of a modern Mark Twain on the lecture curcuit. Rackstraw brings in her own story – losing her husband to suicide, her own critical opinion of Vonnegut, her unease/attention to other women in Vonnegut's life. She also gives a strong criticism and comprehension of Vonnegut's philosophy. "Sermon of the Mount" kindness is prevalent in Vonnegut's worldview, as is the futility of meaing. The phrase, 'we're just here to fart around' sort of somes it up best. Rackstraw adds a layer, that I rarely encounter in any author's comprehensive overview. There are a lot of touching moment's in the book. For instance, Vonnegut's general bleakness and depression steming from his complicated first wife, or the bleak worldview that “broke him” with the Bush years. Ultimately the pain and torture of being an artist is something that gives us Vonnegut fans more appreciation of his brillant work. The book is a product of love and dedication, and I would fully recommend it to anyone inspired by Vonnegut, one of the great authors of our time.
Profile Image for Fred.
159 reviews4 followers
April 11, 2009
This is a good book for Vonnegut fans. I enjoyed having a chronological perspective on the most notable part of his writing career. The author was a lifelong friend of Kurt Vonnegut's, and she is a fan too, so what results is a very kind and gentle depiction of the late writer. There are some vague passages about the exact nature of the author's relationship with Vonnegut--there seems to have been a romantic connection there, but it is never depicted in plain terms.

For my taste, there tends to be too much discussion of Vonnegut's speeches, letters, and public appearances, but obviously these are the kinds of details that the book's author has ample access to, in addition to several decades' worth of correspondence. But I found interesting the insights into Vonnegut's private struggles with his novels and consternation about his reception (or lack of it) in the academic community. The portrait that emerges of a sometimes painfully humane, earnest artist makes this memoir a memorable read for those like myself who are pleased to have their impression of Kurt Vonnegut validated. This makes me eager to read the fuller Vonnegut bio yet to be published and will prompt me to reread many of his works.
Profile Image for Jocelyn.
539 reviews31 followers
July 15, 2015
Decent enough look at Vonnegut's life through his friendship with Loree Rackstraw. Some parts were Rackstraw waxing poetic about how great of a writer Vonnegut is and sometimes she goes too far, kind of attacking the critics of his novel Bluebeard, saying that the critics just "missed" the point of the novel. Um, alright. As usual, it reflects poorly on the person claiming everyone else's opinion is wrong. I actually haven't read any Vonnegut, but based on his personality from this account, he seems like a nice dude and I think I will enjoy some of his books. The best part about this book is that Rackstraw's descriptions of Vonnegut's novels and the reception they got help steer you in the right direction if you're a Vonnegut newbie, like myself. Also, maybe I'm reading too much into it, but it certainly felt in many moments that Rackstraw and Vonnegut had a love affair (emotional, never sexual or really overtly romantic) during their friendship -- like one of those loves that you will always have despite falling in love and being with other people. It's a beautiful kind of love, but a sad one as well.
Profile Image for Emily.
269 reviews7 followers
August 19, 2012
- I'm a huge Vonnegut fan and it was interesting to read about his life from the point of view of someone who was incredibly close to him

- There were limitations to this kind of memoir though. Rackstraw didn't know a lot of the details about his personal life because he was so private, so some parts of his life felt very vague/hazy.

- She also name-dropped a lot of different people whom I did not recognize. It was a little boring to get through those parts.

- It was very clear that Rackstraw loved Kurt dearly and he felt the same about her. Their relationship felt very warm. It was a pleasure to hear about Vonnegut from her perspective and it made me want to have known him personally as well.
Profile Image for Ariana.
12 reviews1 follower
August 31, 2011
Love as Always, Kurt was an interesting take on the life of Kurt Vonnegut. It was informative and funny, and left me with a good general view of his life. I enjoyed the friendship between the two and the fact it lasted for so long.

However, I was a bit disappointed with the way the book was written and how it evolved. The book was divided by years but everything seemed a bit disjointed. It was hard to follow at times because a lot of it was a list of accomplishments rather than explanation of her place in relation to Kurt and those accomplishments. I was hoping for a bit more in terms of life stories, but still, it left me satisfied.
120 reviews
July 24, 2009
As a young woman the author became involved with the married Kurt Vonnegut; became lifelong friend and correspondent. Quite interesting picture of the type of person Kurt was, personally and politically--suffering from despair and depression after experiencing the bombing of Dresden, surviving through humor and relationships
Profile Image for Brendan.
89 reviews5 followers
August 5, 2011
Yes this was a very good resource about the life of Kurt Vonnegut. It was a disappointing read in the sense that it was not a book by Kurt Vonnegut, but rather by an old friend and academic. As a resource it charts the life of the author very well, however much of it starts to sound like the work of an academic who has been loaned VHS tapes of Vonnegut speeches.
Profile Image for Lezlie.
7 reviews1 follower
September 21, 2017
Finally gave up and giving it to my friend who grew up in Iowa. She might find the connection to Iowa's great writing community interesting. Although I loved Slaughterhouse-Five and Vonnegut's satiric wit, this book reveals him to be a self-centered old world male; not sure why the author found him irresistible, but maybe I didn't read enough. Too depressing. Glad it's a new day!
Profile Image for Debbie.
18 reviews
May 6, 2014
Loved this book because of the insight it gave me on Kurt. I feel as if though I got a little preview on who and how Kurt was in real life and made me just love Kurt even more. I really appreciate what Loree her putting this out. I, however, didn't really like her most of the time (always name dropping and had kind of a, for lack of a better word, bitter tone) but I just kept reading through it.
Profile Image for Greg.
154 reviews6 followers
March 22, 2009
A fun biography by a nonfiction writer who knew Vonnegut intimately. By including actual letters and personal accounts, this is a friendly biography that includes Kurt's family and literary history.

Very fun for fans of Vonnegut.
Profile Image for Leah.
140 reviews3 followers
May 5, 2016
Lovely to dig into the personal side of a man whose work I love so much. Loree Rackstraw's book helped me understand Vonnegut's writing in a new way and gave a unique insight into his day-to-day life.
Profile Image for Sue.
496 reviews8 followers
March 27, 2009
So far, I can't put it down. Kurt Vonnegut was my favorite author from the time I was in junior high, until his death.
1 review
May 2, 2009
Just finished this one. I am all the more joyful and melancholy thinking about Kurt after reading this one. To have spent one evening with him...
Profile Image for Don Eggert.
28 reviews
January 11, 2010
Interesting perspective on Vonnegut. Makes me want to go back in re-read some of his stuff that I read in the '70's.
Profile Image for Meg Marie.
604 reviews12 followers
January 27, 2010
An interesting story of Kurt Vonnegut's life, as told through letters to his friend and mentee Loree Rackstraw over the year. It made me want to read all of his books all over again!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 33 reviews

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