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248 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 29, 2023
"There's no such thing as witches. Only women who embrace their true nature."
"Grief is a flightless bird, a bony creature chewing time the way flames eat wood."
"What a pretty black pearl," she whispers, touching the rosette in the hollow of my throat. "Did your father give it to you?"
"No, Ivor gave it to me. He's the only friend I've ever had."
"Ivor must think you're something special. Black pearls are hard to find. I bet he dove a thousand times to find such a treasure."
"Heavens and stars, I had no idea the trouble he went to."
Abilene snags another blenny. "Do you know why some pearls turn black?"
I shake my head, raising a curious brow.
"Because something terrible slips inside the oyster and wounds it. Oysters feel pain just like we do. They even cry like we do. Their tears are what turns pearls black." Her voice rivers around me, rushing deep. I close my eyes, dipping my head on her shoulder. "But oysters fight back," Abilene hisses, running her fingers through my hair. "I know who you are, Senga. You're a black pearl from The Bitter Sea. Something terrible has slipped inside you, but you're fighting back."
"Are you lonely?"
"Yes, miserably. Kilda has bestowed her favor upon my family, but I feel cursed."
"I'm glad you're lonely," Abilene remarks. "Loneliness isn't a curse. It's a miracle. It means you feel the separation. There's hope for you yet, angelfish. Somewhere, deep down inside, you remember your true nature."
"How can you be so old and beautiful at the same time?"
Abilene raises a brow. "Haven't you heard? Old is the best kind of beautiful."
Is this love? To be so close and yet so far? To want something that hurts and heals in equal measure? To hear holy bells ringing in a candlelit shrine?
But I know I'm not welcome in shrines, so I shiver outside in the cold among the hawthorns and fairies, listening to the sound of my heart breaking. I don't long for bells or gods or relics. I long for the people inside, holding hands, warming each other with their own little fires. I long to be part of something good, to sing a song I've never sung....
"You remind me of my sister, Earie. For centuries, she lived as though she was a flounder, weak and powerless. No matter how cruel Kilda was, Earie just wanted Kilda to love her, just as you want your family to love you. It's natural to love your family." Abilene touches my cheek tenderly. "It's hard to born in the darkness, always searching for the light, but you can escape the darkness whenever you're ready."
"How?"
"Become the light," Abilene croons.
"You can't be the light for everyone, but you can be the light for me and my little fry. Both our families have done cruel things to each other. After all, it was my sister who poisoned your isle. But we can be the light for each other, Senga. If we can see each other for who we truly are, apart from our families, then we can conquer the darkness together."
As I float in The Deep Dark Nether, I sing like never before, my voice melding with my mother's. Together, we join the chorus of eternals. We sing of blood and sand, of suffering and salvation. We sing of gods and humans and the dark little magic we do to each other.
Heat dances between my ribs and down my spine, toasting me tender. I'm not alone anymore, among the hawthorns and fairies. I'm inside a candlelit shrine, holding hands with my sisters, warming each other with our own little fires.
I'm where I've always wanted to be - home, at last.
I'm free.