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No One Left but You
A trans teen is swept up in a whirlwind friendship with lethal consequences in this taut YA thriller, for fans of Sadie, K. Ancrum and HBO's Euphoria.
BEFORE
Newly out trans guy Max is having a hard time in school. Things have been tough since his summer romance, Danny, turned into his bully. This year, his plan is to keep his head down and graduate. All that changes when new It-girl Gloss moves to town. No one understands why perfect, polished Gloss is so interested in an introverted skater kid, but Max blooms in the hothouse of her attention. Caught between romance and obsession, he’ll do whatever it takes to keep her on his side.
AFTER
Haircuts, makeovers, drugs, parties. It’s all fun and games until someone gets killed at a rager gone terribly wrong. Max refuses to believe that Gloss did it. But if not Gloss, who? Desperate to figure out truth in the wake of tragedy, Max veers dangerously close to being implicated—and his own memories of that awful night are fuzzy.
Both sharp-edged thriller and moving coming-of-age, this gorgeously wrought novel is perfect for readers who want stories with trans characters front-and-center.
BEFORE
Newly out trans guy Max is having a hard time in school. Things have been tough since his summer romance, Danny, turned into his bully. This year, his plan is to keep his head down and graduate. All that changes when new It-girl Gloss moves to town. No one understands why perfect, polished Gloss is so interested in an introverted skater kid, but Max blooms in the hothouse of her attention. Caught between romance and obsession, he’ll do whatever it takes to keep her on his side.
AFTER
Haircuts, makeovers, drugs, parties. It’s all fun and games until someone gets killed at a rager gone terribly wrong. Max refuses to believe that Gloss did it. But if not Gloss, who? Desperate to figure out truth in the wake of tragedy, Max veers dangerously close to being implicated—and his own memories of that awful night are fuzzy.
Both sharp-edged thriller and moving coming-of-age, this gorgeously wrought novel is perfect for readers who want stories with trans characters front-and-center.
288 pages, Hardcover
Published November 7, 2023
13 people are currently reading
4687 people want to read
About the author
Tash McAdam
15 books124 followersTash is a Welsh-Canadian author, activist and educator. Their publications include The Psionics (Nine Star Press), and the Junior Library Guild Gold Standard Selections Blood Sport and Sink or Swim (Orca Books). They are also featured in multiple anthologies. Tash is a recipient of the Shoot for the Moon fund for trans writers, and a founding mentor with the Gender Generations Project.
When they’re not writing or reading you can probably find Tash in a lake, lying on the carpet thinking about monsters, or getting a new tattoo. They enjoy regular cups of tea, existential philosophy, and sharp objects.
When they’re not writing or reading you can probably find Tash in a lake, lying on the carpet thinking about monsters, or getting a new tattoo. They enjoy regular cups of tea, existential philosophy, and sharp objects.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 94 reviews
October 29, 2023
D*mn, what a book! For fans of Beating Heart Baby. A trans teen. An ex-boyfriend turned into a bully. A perfect, polished new girl at school. Fuzzy thoughts of the night someone got murdered. Told in before and after chapters, this story killed me in the best possible way.
The first chapter already had me gasping for air—blood, handcuffs, stitches, and lyrics of an intriguing song in between. No One Left But You is a story that made me sit on the edge of my seat while my heart beat harder and harder, a ball knotting itself in my stomach and all the muscles in my body tightening. D*mm, what a book. It will haunt me for a while. In the best possible way, though.
Tash McAdam’s writing is exceptional. Beautiful lyrical paragraphs are intertwined with poetic song lyrics. Both the story and the lyrics let me feel so much pain and sadness that my eyes clouded time and again.
No One Left But You is a story of grief and hurt but also of growth and healing. It’s not for readers who like their stories smooth and soft. It’s raw and gritty, and there’s a lot of drug and alcohol use in it.
Like I said, I think those who loved Beating Heart Baby might love this one too. No, there’s no romance with a HEA in it, and it’s a much darker story, but the atmosphere, the lyrical writing, and the connection to music reminded me so much of Beating Heart Baby. Believe me, this book is just such a gem!
I received an ARC from Soho Teen and Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.
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The first chapter already had me gasping for air—blood, handcuffs, stitches, and lyrics of an intriguing song in between. No One Left But You is a story that made me sit on the edge of my seat while my heart beat harder and harder, a ball knotting itself in my stomach and all the muscles in my body tightening. D*mm, what a book. It will haunt me for a while. In the best possible way, though.
Tash McAdam’s writing is exceptional. Beautiful lyrical paragraphs are intertwined with poetic song lyrics. Both the story and the lyrics let me feel so much pain and sadness that my eyes clouded time and again.
No One Left But You is a story of grief and hurt but also of growth and healing. It’s not for readers who like their stories smooth and soft. It’s raw and gritty, and there’s a lot of drug and alcohol use in it.
Like I said, I think those who loved Beating Heart Baby might love this one too. No, there’s no romance with a HEA in it, and it’s a much darker story, but the atmosphere, the lyrical writing, and the connection to music reminded me so much of Beating Heart Baby. Believe me, this book is just such a gem!
I received an ARC from Soho Teen and Edelweiss in exchange for an honest review.
Follow me on Instagram
December 17, 2023
✰ 3.75 stars ✰
“Okay, just tell me what you do remember.”
I don’t want to, I don’t want to, but Danny’s dead. I have to tell them what happened. Even if it’s all snapshots, fits and starts.”
I was really happy at how much I actually enjoyed No One Left But You, a compelling YA thriller that skillfully revolves around a murder that sheds lights on gender identity, sexuality, acceptance, substance abuse, and the heady rush for popularity. Told in a dual timeline alternating between the before and after leading to the events of the murder, the story begins with seventeen-year-old Max, a recently out trans student, arrested for the murder of his ex-boyfriend, Danny.
“Everyone’s scared of you.”
“Except you.”
“I’m terrified of you!” I think I’m joking when I say it, but after the words slide out, I know I am.
Terrified she’ll leave me, terrified she’ll hurt me, terrified that this intense connection we’ve forged will suck me in until there’s nothing left of me without her.”
From the start, Max's voice drew me in. His anxiety, his uncertainty, his desire to fit in - everything was relatable and believable to me. I felt for him and how he felt like he didn't quite know which group he fit into now, and whether or not his old friends would still be as accepting and inviting as they were of him before. 😥 But, what he didn't count on was the fashionable, drop-dead gorgeous new rich girl, Gloss - vibrant and loud and pretty - everything that screamed that she was well above his league - she made him feel wanted and appreciated, and I liked how genuine their friendship felt. 🙏🏻
No matter how messy, no matter how awkward or codependent it would become at times, Gloss was someone special that Max felt a kindred connection to. 'We might be best friends or in love. I can’t tell, and I don’t think she can either.' She was a new addition to their group of friends - but an accepting and vocal one, all the same. Max didn't have any false pretenses with her and to see just how supportive she was of Max definitely made her a prime suspect for being the one most likely of murdering his ex-boyfriend - and it made it all that more intriguing to know for sure, whether she was the one to blame. 😟
“The magic between us felt so strong I was so sure he already knew. How else could he look at me the way he did?
But he didn’t. We were glass, not diamonds, destined to explode into vicious shards.”
And this is the part that I really appreciated; how well-fleshed out the mystery of the murder was. As the story progresses between the past and present, we are privy to Danny and Max's relationship, and it dawns on you how complex the nature of their relationship is - that there is more to it, hidden underneath the surface that is another clear reflection of how easy it is to judge someone without really knowing them. 🥺 There were not always bad memories between the two, and I think that's why it hurt Max so much more to think Gloss could have killed him.
I didn't quite know what direction the story would take, so to say that I was surprised a number of times would be an understatement - and I welcomed that feeling - whole-heartedly. 👍🏻 It was a very well-fleshed out suspenseful mystery that was running smoothly on both sides - one where I was still hesitant in believing whether or not Gloss was the guilty party - and the other side of me confused as to if not Max - then who?
“Does he feel the same as I do? A mess of wanting and impossibility?”
So, yes, the ending definitely threw me for the loop! I did not see that coming - loved the bated anticipation - love the execution of the action - just really impressed me how it all played out! 👏🏻👏🏻 The writing, in general, was very well-written. It was sharp and crisp and impactful - it was evocative with its emotions and the range of depicting how each character was affected by the aftermath of each tragic event was palpable. 🤌🏻🤌🏻 There was a very well-paced build up to the plot, and I appreciated how the timelines never overlapped in the way that would have been confusing to follow the narrative.
And that in the end of it all, this story was also about learning to grieve the loss of a loved one and in turn learning to love yourself, too. That no matter how much Danny had been someone who had hurt Max in the past - there had been a deep shared connection between the two - and in the process of getting the closure needed in knowing who hurt him - helped Max also overcome the sadness of losing someone that once had been so dear - someone who had, in a way, been in the shadows, just as much as him with his own inner demons haunting him. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
“Okay, just tell me what you do remember.”
I don’t want to, I don’t want to, but Danny’s dead. I have to tell them what happened. Even if it’s all snapshots, fits and starts.”
I was really happy at how much I actually enjoyed No One Left But You, a compelling YA thriller that skillfully revolves around a murder that sheds lights on gender identity, sexuality, acceptance, substance abuse, and the heady rush for popularity. Told in a dual timeline alternating between the before and after leading to the events of the murder, the story begins with seventeen-year-old Max, a recently out trans student, arrested for the murder of his ex-boyfriend, Danny.
“Everyone’s scared of you.”
“Except you.”
“I’m terrified of you!” I think I’m joking when I say it, but after the words slide out, I know I am.
Terrified she’ll leave me, terrified she’ll hurt me, terrified that this intense connection we’ve forged will suck me in until there’s nothing left of me without her.”
From the start, Max's voice drew me in. His anxiety, his uncertainty, his desire to fit in - everything was relatable and believable to me. I felt for him and how he felt like he didn't quite know which group he fit into now, and whether or not his old friends would still be as accepting and inviting as they were of him before. 😥 But, what he didn't count on was the fashionable, drop-dead gorgeous new rich girl, Gloss - vibrant and loud and pretty - everything that screamed that she was well above his league - she made him feel wanted and appreciated, and I liked how genuine their friendship felt. 🙏🏻
No matter how messy, no matter how awkward or codependent it would become at times, Gloss was someone special that Max felt a kindred connection to. 'We might be best friends or in love. I can’t tell, and I don’t think she can either.' She was a new addition to their group of friends - but an accepting and vocal one, all the same. Max didn't have any false pretenses with her and to see just how supportive she was of Max definitely made her a prime suspect for being the one most likely of murdering his ex-boyfriend - and it made it all that more intriguing to know for sure, whether she was the one to blame. 😟
“The magic between us felt so strong I was so sure he already knew. How else could he look at me the way he did?
But he didn’t. We were glass, not diamonds, destined to explode into vicious shards.”
And this is the part that I really appreciated; how well-fleshed out the mystery of the murder was. As the story progresses between the past and present, we are privy to Danny and Max's relationship, and it dawns on you how complex the nature of their relationship is - that there is more to it, hidden underneath the surface that is another clear reflection of how easy it is to judge someone without really knowing them. 🥺 There were not always bad memories between the two, and I think that's why it hurt Max so much more to think Gloss could have killed him.
I didn't quite know what direction the story would take, so to say that I was surprised a number of times would be an understatement - and I welcomed that feeling - whole-heartedly. 👍🏻 It was a very well-fleshed out suspenseful mystery that was running smoothly on both sides - one where I was still hesitant in believing whether or not Gloss was the guilty party - and the other side of me confused as to if not Max - then who?
“Does he feel the same as I do? A mess of wanting and impossibility?”
So, yes, the ending definitely threw me for the loop! I did not see that coming - loved the bated anticipation - love the execution of the action - just really impressed me how it all played out! 👏🏻👏🏻 The writing, in general, was very well-written. It was sharp and crisp and impactful - it was evocative with its emotions and the range of depicting how each character was affected by the aftermath of each tragic event was palpable. 🤌🏻🤌🏻 There was a very well-paced build up to the plot, and I appreciated how the timelines never overlapped in the way that would have been confusing to follow the narrative.
And that in the end of it all, this story was also about learning to grieve the loss of a loved one and in turn learning to love yourself, too. That no matter how much Danny had been someone who had hurt Max in the past - there had been a deep shared connection between the two - and in the process of getting the closure needed in knowing who hurt him - helped Max also overcome the sadness of losing someone that once had been so dear - someone who had, in a way, been in the shadows, just as much as him with his own inner demons haunting him. ❤️🩹❤️🩹
November 27, 2023
Thanks very much to Lily at Soho Teen, who sent me not only a physical ARC, but a physical sale hardcover as well as my Netgalley ecopy to review. Amazing care put into this marketing. No One Left But You will be out this November 28th.
I give this 3.5 rounded down to 3, because despite the thriller marketing blurbs, a thriller it was not quite, and the pacing left me setting it down and loathe to pick it up again.
The plot here puts a slightly fresh spin on an old trope: the new, pretty girl at school bafflingly befriends the resident loner. But Gloss may be genuinely not only accepting of trans protagonist Max, but very eager to make maybe-romantic, intimate overtures of companionship, very quickly.
I didn't get everything I hoped for in this story. I'd say it's a must-read for the representation in this subgenre, but the pacing really threw me, for a murder mystery and thriller.
On the one hand, a slower pace does wonders for examining the trans experience, the character development, and relationship building. There was a shaving scene between Max and Gloss with erotic tension so thick you could cut it with a knife, pun intended. On the other, I'd expect something with a murder presented in the prologue, and a subsequent dual timeline, to really keep me tensely reading. Not the case here.
I give this 3.5 rounded down to 3, because despite the thriller marketing blurbs, a thriller it was not quite, and the pacing left me setting it down and loathe to pick it up again.
The plot here puts a slightly fresh spin on an old trope: the new, pretty girl at school bafflingly befriends the resident loner. But Gloss may be genuinely not only accepting of trans protagonist Max, but very eager to make maybe-romantic, intimate overtures of companionship, very quickly.
I didn't get everything I hoped for in this story. I'd say it's a must-read for the representation in this subgenre, but the pacing really threw me, for a murder mystery and thriller.
On the one hand, a slower pace does wonders for examining the trans experience, the character development, and relationship building. There was a shaving scene between Max and Gloss with erotic tension so thick you could cut it with a knife, pun intended. On the other, I'd expect something with a murder presented in the prologue, and a subsequent dual timeline, to really keep me tensely reading. Not the case here.
January 12, 2023
Thriller-ish, also details the transition of the lead character, Max, and how his gender identity affects relationships with family, friends, love interests, etc. Told in dual timeline, so you know there's a dead body right away. Lots of drinking, drugs, marijuana which leads to a somewhat unreliable narrator. There were a few chapters in the middle where I thought one of the main characters might actually be a serial killer...A+ for an epilogue.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
November 26, 2023
While it’s not inaccurate to describe this as a YA thriller with a trans protagonist, I personally felt like the coming of age, friendship, and relationship stories within the book were much stronger than the thriller part of the plot. Max is newly out as trans and school isn’t the best for him at the moment. Danny, the guy who he had a fling with over the summer before transitioning, now bullies him. When a new, fashionable, rich girl named Gloss arrives at school and takes Max under her wing, things start changing. But they spiral out of control when someone ends up dead at Gloss’ party.
The story is told in a dual timeline format with “before” chapters detailing Max and Gloss first becoming friends. And also in “after” chapters that pick up immediately after the party gone wrong. I just never felt a sense of urgency in needing to find out exactly what happened and who was responsible. Also, the conflict at the end didn’t totally work for me.
However, I loved all of the just slice of life parts of the story. Getting to see Max become more confident and open up more at school with the help of Gloss was great to read about. They have a complicated relationship that might not always be the most healthy, but it added a lot of complexity to the story. While it was frustrating and upsetting to read about, the dynamic between Max and Danny was also compelling. Even though Danny is super shitty to Max, Max can’t help but to still be drawn to him and remember the good times they had in the past.
Even though I don’t think this was fully successful as a thriller, I still really enjoyed it and would recommend it. I think this portrait of the complex life of a trans teen has a lot to offer to readers.
Thank you to the publisher for providing an advance copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
The story is told in a dual timeline format with “before” chapters detailing Max and Gloss first becoming friends. And also in “after” chapters that pick up immediately after the party gone wrong. I just never felt a sense of urgency in needing to find out exactly what happened and who was responsible. Also, the conflict at the end didn’t totally work for me.
However, I loved all of the just slice of life parts of the story. Getting to see Max become more confident and open up more at school with the help of Gloss was great to read about. They have a complicated relationship that might not always be the most healthy, but it added a lot of complexity to the story. While it was frustrating and upsetting to read about, the dynamic between Max and Danny was also compelling. Even though Danny is super shitty to Max, Max can’t help but to still be drawn to him and remember the good times they had in the past.
Even though I don’t think this was fully successful as a thriller, I still really enjoyed it and would recommend it. I think this portrait of the complex life of a trans teen has a lot to offer to readers.
Thank you to the publisher for providing an advance copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
August 17, 2024
3 Stars for No One Left But You (audiobook) by Tash McAdam read by Loz Chandler.
This is much more about the trans experience in high school than it was the promised thriller, murder mystery. I think it’s a decent read for the characters and situation but not so much the mystery.
This is much more about the trans experience in high school than it was the promised thriller, murder mystery. I think it’s a decent read for the characters and situation but not so much the mystery.
June 18, 2023
Thank you NetGalley and Soho Press for the advance reader copy in exchange for an honest review!
I loved everything about the book. The dual timeline, before and after That Night, the mystery that kept me guessing, finding things out in drips that kept contributing towards the whole picture, and of course the characters. Max is such a relatable, anxious character. I could totally see myself in his over-thinking, wondering whether Gloss hated him because he hadn't seen a text for half an hour, and doubting people giving him compliments or caring about him. And I loved seeing his growth, seeing him become more confident and comfortable in his own skin throughout the book! He was such a well-written character that will definitely stick with me. The details regarding his transition, his relationship with his parents, friends and peers at school was wonderfully written, and at times heartbreaking. Nothing was lacking from this book in my opinion, and I could hardly put it down until I reached the last page!
I will definitely be buying a physical copy of this book when it releases, and annotating it like crazy!! The writing was beautiful and there were just so many things that were relatable that I wanted to highlight and underline and draw hearts around! Without a doubt, this book gets ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ from me!
I loved everything about the book. The dual timeline, before and after That Night, the mystery that kept me guessing, finding things out in drips that kept contributing towards the whole picture, and of course the characters. Max is such a relatable, anxious character. I could totally see myself in his over-thinking, wondering whether Gloss hated him because he hadn't seen a text for half an hour, and doubting people giving him compliments or caring about him. And I loved seeing his growth, seeing him become more confident and comfortable in his own skin throughout the book! He was such a well-written character that will definitely stick with me. The details regarding his transition, his relationship with his parents, friends and peers at school was wonderfully written, and at times heartbreaking. Nothing was lacking from this book in my opinion, and I could hardly put it down until I reached the last page!
I will definitely be buying a physical copy of this book when it releases, and annotating it like crazy!! The writing was beautiful and there were just so many things that were relatable that I wanted to highlight and underline and draw hearts around! Without a doubt, this book gets ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ from me!
December 18, 2023
“Now, looking in the mirror, I see that my wish has clawed its way out of my chest and into the world.”
This book!! 😭I am definitely a tad obsessed with this book and it’s MC who stole my heart from page one. And this book starts with a doozy! Max is in a police station, dried blood on his hands, handcuffs on his wrist - and no clue how he ended up there.
Max is a bisexual, trans teen boy fairly early in his transition. He’s a skater and a bit of a loner. And incredibly smart. He has anxiety and fear that can at times be crippling. He’s constantly analyzing the things others do and say, never trusting that even the kind things are truly kind. And Danny, the boy he had a whirlwind summer romance with, has become his biggest bully.
Max’s story was beautifully captured with Tash’s lyrical and emotional writing. His journey through adolescence, his transition, his inner turmoil, his longing to belong and to be loved and wanted for him. All of it just grabbed my heart and sent me on an emotional rollercoaster I was not prepared for when I started this book.
And then there is Gloss - the new girl. Rich, posh, vibrant. The moment they meet, Gloss decides Max is her person. Gloss helps Max start to come out of his shell and put himself out there. She gives Max a place where he belongs, always. She becomes his person. And throughout the story, I was right there with Max wondering if this was just friendship, or more. But with Gloss by his side, Max truly started to become Max. There were times I questioned her motives and behavior - but I think that was all part of the mystery of the book…
Danny is dead. Max got arrested. Gloss confessed. Did she do it? Is she covering for Max? Could he have been the one to murder Danny? Confounded by all these questions and the gaps in his memory from that night, Max struggles to find the truth.
The story is told in a dual timeline of before and after. Pieces of the puzzle getting added bit by bit. But it isn’t until the very end that the final piece is put in place and the full picture comes into view. The mystery and the angst of it all kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. I wanted to keep reading and find out what happened. I was gripped by this story from start to finish.
Yes this book is a murder mystery. But it’s also a story about grief and loss. It’s a story about transition and trans joy. It’s a gritty tale about adolescence and growing up, about finding yourself and your people. It is utterly brilliant and I cannot say enough good things about this book or Tash’s writing. Absolute perfection. I could go on, but I’ll stop here. Just go read it! Make sure you check out the content warnings first.
Thanks to NetGalley and SOHO Teen for the ARC! This is my honest review.
TW/CW: alcohol & drugs, violence, murder, depression, suicidal ideation, anxiety, bullying, homophobia, transphobia, child abuse/neglect
This book!! 😭I am definitely a tad obsessed with this book and it’s MC who stole my heart from page one. And this book starts with a doozy! Max is in a police station, dried blood on his hands, handcuffs on his wrist - and no clue how he ended up there.
Max is a bisexual, trans teen boy fairly early in his transition. He’s a skater and a bit of a loner. And incredibly smart. He has anxiety and fear that can at times be crippling. He’s constantly analyzing the things others do and say, never trusting that even the kind things are truly kind. And Danny, the boy he had a whirlwind summer romance with, has become his biggest bully.
Max’s story was beautifully captured with Tash’s lyrical and emotional writing. His journey through adolescence, his transition, his inner turmoil, his longing to belong and to be loved and wanted for him. All of it just grabbed my heart and sent me on an emotional rollercoaster I was not prepared for when I started this book.
And then there is Gloss - the new girl. Rich, posh, vibrant. The moment they meet, Gloss decides Max is her person. Gloss helps Max start to come out of his shell and put himself out there. She gives Max a place where he belongs, always. She becomes his person. And throughout the story, I was right there with Max wondering if this was just friendship, or more. But with Gloss by his side, Max truly started to become Max. There were times I questioned her motives and behavior - but I think that was all part of the mystery of the book…
Danny is dead. Max got arrested. Gloss confessed. Did she do it? Is she covering for Max? Could he have been the one to murder Danny? Confounded by all these questions and the gaps in his memory from that night, Max struggles to find the truth.
The story is told in a dual timeline of before and after. Pieces of the puzzle getting added bit by bit. But it isn’t until the very end that the final piece is put in place and the full picture comes into view. The mystery and the angst of it all kept me on the edge of my seat the whole time. I wanted to keep reading and find out what happened. I was gripped by this story from start to finish.
Yes this book is a murder mystery. But it’s also a story about grief and loss. It’s a story about transition and trans joy. It’s a gritty tale about adolescence and growing up, about finding yourself and your people. It is utterly brilliant and I cannot say enough good things about this book or Tash’s writing. Absolute perfection. I could go on, but I’ll stop here. Just go read it! Make sure you check out the content warnings first.
Thanks to NetGalley and SOHO Teen for the ARC! This is my honest review.
TW/CW: alcohol & drugs, violence, murder, depression, suicidal ideation, anxiety, bullying, homophobia, transphobia, child abuse/neglect
February 5, 2024
Thank you to Goodreads Giveaways and Soho Press for providing me with an Advance Uncopyedited Edition of "No One Left but You", by Tash McAdam. (And, by the way, I would have never guessed it was actually uncopyedited, since I didn't find much, if any, that needed significant corrections and the style was pretty much impeccable).
Though this story is marketed as a YA thriller, I did find it to be mostly a coming of age story, and an immensely interesting one at that. The transgender representation is on point in this one, approaching the topic with an always sensitive eye, and not sparing the reader any of the feelings that come with the whole process to, not only accept yourself as you are, but gripping with society's reactions to your own struggle.
Delving into many other meaningful topics, such as domestic violence, sexual identity, illness, drinking problems, solitude, and lots of teenage angst, this book is a very intimate portrait of his main character's life and identity, as well as a taut thriller (because it actually is, even if that's secondary to the main story), where the reader won't be sure of what happened/is going to happen until the very dramatic end.
3.75
Though this story is marketed as a YA thriller, I did find it to be mostly a coming of age story, and an immensely interesting one at that. The transgender representation is on point in this one, approaching the topic with an always sensitive eye, and not sparing the reader any of the feelings that come with the whole process to, not only accept yourself as you are, but gripping with society's reactions to your own struggle.
Delving into many other meaningful topics, such as domestic violence, sexual identity, illness, drinking problems, solitude, and lots of teenage angst, this book is a very intimate portrait of his main character's life and identity, as well as a taut thriller (because it actually is, even if that's secondary to the main story), where the reader won't be sure of what happened/is going to happen until the very dramatic end.
3.75
February 8, 2024
"It's not too bad, this body of mine. I can make this house a home."
This was completely beautiful. The good, the bad, the painful, it was all beautiful.
This was completely beautiful. The good, the bad, the painful, it was all beautiful.
March 12, 2024
3 1/2 stars!
This book was a really great book, from a great author, with a great writing style. A who-done-it murder mystery, also touching on issues such as bullying, the Trans community, and grief. I really connected with the main characters, and loved watching Max come out of his shell, and finally be able to be his true self. Even thought Gloss brought out the best of Max, her character was always slightly off, but it was hard to figure out of she was good for him, or bad. I wasn't sure if I loved her, or wanted her away from Max. Any book that deals with bullying is hard to read, but I think it's really important to NOT glosss over the effects bullying has on someone. This was a great book, and I really enjoyed it.
This book was a really great book, from a great author, with a great writing style. A who-done-it murder mystery, also touching on issues such as bullying, the Trans community, and grief. I really connected with the main characters, and loved watching Max come out of his shell, and finally be able to be his true self. Even thought Gloss brought out the best of Max, her character was always slightly off, but it was hard to figure out of she was good for him, or bad. I wasn't sure if I loved her, or wanted her away from Max. Any book that deals with bullying is hard to read, but I think it's really important to NOT glosss over the effects bullying has on someone. This was a great book, and I really enjoyed it.
October 18, 2023
This was an amazing taut thriller, character development stood out for me, but the plot wasnt lacking either, I loved the dual timeline and it never got muddled which is usually the case sometimes with that format, an evocative queer thriller thats a must read for fans of the genre
November 4, 2023
Thank you to NetGalley and the publishers for this ARC in exchange for my honest review!
This was a powerful coming of age story filled with grief, acceptance, and unrequited love. Max is a trans boy who would rather hide from his problems. His home and school life are rough. The boy he was in love with turned on him when he came out. His mother drinks and denies his new name and his gender. Then he meets Gloss. Gloss allows him to open up and be the real him. Gloss tells him he’s handsome and holds his hand. But in the background, there’s still Danny. And after a parity goes horribly wrong, Max struggles with all the complicated feelings swirling in his head. The story goes back and forth between before and after a horrible murder has occurred.
I liked Gloss, even if she was the blueprint for a manic pixie dream girl. She literally checked every box. She was good for Max, despite the cliche. Max was sweet and I dig the emo boy vibes he was trying to throw out. He really just wanted to be seen as a boy and loved. I even felt bad for Danny. He was a bully, but he didn’t know how else to be. His dad was an asshole who abused him and him being gay had to have made things worse at home, making Danny want to take it out on everyone. Did he need therapy? Yes.
I kinda of guessed who the murderer was as the story was ending. I knew it made no sense for it to be Gloss. I loved the year after epilogue. I’m so glad max is happy. This story was fast paced and seeing Gloss and Max together made me smile.
This was a powerful coming of age story filled with grief, acceptance, and unrequited love. Max is a trans boy who would rather hide from his problems. His home and school life are rough. The boy he was in love with turned on him when he came out. His mother drinks and denies his new name and his gender. Then he meets Gloss. Gloss allows him to open up and be the real him. Gloss tells him he’s handsome and holds his hand. But in the background, there’s still Danny. And after a parity goes horribly wrong, Max struggles with all the complicated feelings swirling in his head. The story goes back and forth between before and after a horrible murder has occurred.
I liked Gloss, even if she was the blueprint for a manic pixie dream girl. She literally checked every box. She was good for Max, despite the cliche. Max was sweet and I dig the emo boy vibes he was trying to throw out. He really just wanted to be seen as a boy and loved. I even felt bad for Danny. He was a bully, but he didn’t know how else to be. His dad was an asshole who abused him and him being gay had to have made things worse at home, making Danny want to take it out on everyone. Did he need therapy? Yes.
I kinda of guessed who the murderer was as the story was ending. I knew it made no sense for it to be Gloss. I loved the year after epilogue. I’m so glad max is happy. This story was fast paced and seeing Gloss and Max together made me smile.
January 21, 2025
oh my god?? that’s not enough words for me to say to explain my thoughts about this book. it was insane. incredible. my jaw dropped at so many moments. Max’s journey being trans was written so beautifully. the suspense and mystery aspect was great! so so good. i loved everything about this book, i loved the change in time perspectives it held my attention. so good. i love how almost every chapter hinted towards someone getting murdered with the wording. i’ll be thinking about this for a while.
November 7, 2023
This YA thriller is messy, intense, and anxiety riddled in all the right ways. Max is at a turning point in understanding himself and his place in the world, and learning to push back against the ways folks treat him. Filled with queer hopes, desires, and essence, this tale kept me wondering how everything went down.
February 2, 2024
I enjoyed this book and the character development as well as the way the characters were made. I enjoy mystery books and this book certainly had that. Some parts were a little cringe, however the plot and characters in the book were interesting and it was overall a pretty good book.
November 29, 2023
First off, this book starts with a list of trigger warnings including: Drug Use, Transphobia, Suicidal Ideation & Child Abuse. Please be sure to check it out because this book can get very dark and can be very triggering.
I really enjoyed that the book was split up in to: Before the event & After. It was really interesting to piece everything together as it got closer to the end.
Thank you to the publisher for an advanced copy of this book.
I really enjoyed that the book was split up in to: Before the event & After. It was really interesting to piece everything together as it got closer to the end.
Thank you to the publisher for an advanced copy of this book.
January 15, 2024
Pretty good story! Had a twist ending I wasn't expecting
November 29, 2023
Tash McAdam’s “No One Left But You” is a novel about acceptance, emotional healing, friendship, obsession and bullying wrapped around a mystery of who killed Danny, our protagonist’s one-time boyfriend and best friend turned bully.
Max, an introverted trans boy with a difficult home life, and who came out during the summer before his senior year of school began, meets beautiful, perfect in every way Gloss and is immediately taken with her, willing to do anything just to keep her by his side. Soon he is attending parties, using alcohol and drugs, getting his hair cut at her request, all because he revels in her attention. Danny, Max’s boyfriend before learning of his trans status, resorts to bullying Max every chance he gets. Then he winds up dead at a party. Did Max kill him? Did Gloss do it?
The book is told in “Before” and “After” chapters, slowly revealing the relationship between Max, Gloss, and Danny before Danny’s death and how his death has affected Max and Danny’s friends. To the reader, Max’s attraction to Gloss reveals just how much he craves acceptance and positive attention from others, something he obviously lacks from his parents, especially his mother who has not accepted Max’s trans status, and his father who comes across as a bit over-protective and over-bearing. Gloss, on the other hand, seems to lead Max on with gestures and actions that confuses Max into thinking she wants to be romantically linked to him, such as kissing him, allowing him to share the same bed with her in her house without any physicality involved, and getting jealous when another person even talks to Max. So there’s obsession to the extreme on both sides of this relationship.
While I can feel for Max trying to get through life as a trans person, the same cannot be said for Gloss. She comes across as a self-absorbed, selfish rich kid with absentee parents who toys with others’ emotions for her own benefit. Both Max and Danny can’t seem to get beyond the feelings they have for each other after their summer fling; Danny comes across as a confused teenager who has difficulty coming to terms with thoughts that he might be gay and lashes out at the cause of his anguish, which is Max, and Max has trouble dealing with the pull he feels whenever Danny is around. Danny’s friends are minor characters in the novel and don’t appear to figure too prominently. They seem to sit idly by while Danny verbally abuses Max, not attempting to step in to help either Max or Danny deal with the feelings they have for each other.
Max is the only character that I could get behind and root for, but eventually every time Max is with Gloss, I wanted to shout that she’s no good for him and he needs to break free of her; the obsession from both Max and Gloss was a bit too much as the book wore on. There’s little to like about Gloss or Danny, and when Danny winds up dead, it’s hard not to think that he got what was coming to him. I was a bit disappointed when the killer was revealed; while the character was in the novel throughout and there weren’t too many signs pointing in that direction, it still seemed to be a letdown.
This book would be recommended for teenagers who may be able to relate to the character of Max, or know of someone who is dealing with the same issues as either Max or Danny. There is no graphic sexual content involved to be worried about.
Max, an introverted trans boy with a difficult home life, and who came out during the summer before his senior year of school began, meets beautiful, perfect in every way Gloss and is immediately taken with her, willing to do anything just to keep her by his side. Soon he is attending parties, using alcohol and drugs, getting his hair cut at her request, all because he revels in her attention. Danny, Max’s boyfriend before learning of his trans status, resorts to bullying Max every chance he gets. Then he winds up dead at a party. Did Max kill him? Did Gloss do it?
The book is told in “Before” and “After” chapters, slowly revealing the relationship between Max, Gloss, and Danny before Danny’s death and how his death has affected Max and Danny’s friends. To the reader, Max’s attraction to Gloss reveals just how much he craves acceptance and positive attention from others, something he obviously lacks from his parents, especially his mother who has not accepted Max’s trans status, and his father who comes across as a bit over-protective and over-bearing. Gloss, on the other hand, seems to lead Max on with gestures and actions that confuses Max into thinking she wants to be romantically linked to him, such as kissing him, allowing him to share the same bed with her in her house without any physicality involved, and getting jealous when another person even talks to Max. So there’s obsession to the extreme on both sides of this relationship.
While I can feel for Max trying to get through life as a trans person, the same cannot be said for Gloss. She comes across as a self-absorbed, selfish rich kid with absentee parents who toys with others’ emotions for her own benefit. Both Max and Danny can’t seem to get beyond the feelings they have for each other after their summer fling; Danny comes across as a confused teenager who has difficulty coming to terms with thoughts that he might be gay and lashes out at the cause of his anguish, which is Max, and Max has trouble dealing with the pull he feels whenever Danny is around. Danny’s friends are minor characters in the novel and don’t appear to figure too prominently. They seem to sit idly by while Danny verbally abuses Max, not attempting to step in to help either Max or Danny deal with the feelings they have for each other.
Max is the only character that I could get behind and root for, but eventually every time Max is with Gloss, I wanted to shout that she’s no good for him and he needs to break free of her; the obsession from both Max and Gloss was a bit too much as the book wore on. There’s little to like about Gloss or Danny, and when Danny winds up dead, it’s hard not to think that he got what was coming to him. I was a bit disappointed when the killer was revealed; while the character was in the novel throughout and there weren’t too many signs pointing in that direction, it still seemed to be a letdown.
This book would be recommended for teenagers who may be able to relate to the character of Max, or know of someone who is dealing with the same issues as either Max or Danny. There is no graphic sexual content involved to be worried about.
November 3, 2024
I feel like this could have been so much better if they'd either leaned more into the thriller or more into Max's growth- though maybe without leaning on the magic pixie dream girl crutch so much?
January 16, 2024
I couldn't put this down. While it fell short for me in some areas, it was amazingly done in most and I would definitely recommend this to anyone looking for a good LGBTQ thriller.
February 17, 2024
Very Light on the Thrill
I started an ARC for this book a few months ago, but it didn’t grab me. I decided to revisit it because I really wanted to love it. I made it to the end this time, but it still didn’t wow me. The story felt so convoluted at times. I struggled to keep some of the characters straight. Much of the story just didn’t make sense to me. Most of the time I felt like this wasn’t meant for me to understand. I appreciated the education about the challenges a teen can face while transitioning. I feel like a lot of teens will find support in validation in that part of the story. Unfortunately the accompanying mystery was slow and not very entertaining. The big reveal at the end fell flat for me. I was expecting more of a thriller instead of long stretches of teenage angst.
I started an ARC for this book a few months ago, but it didn’t grab me. I decided to revisit it because I really wanted to love it. I made it to the end this time, but it still didn’t wow me. The story felt so convoluted at times. I struggled to keep some of the characters straight. Much of the story just didn’t make sense to me. Most of the time I felt like this wasn’t meant for me to understand. I appreciated the education about the challenges a teen can face while transitioning. I feel like a lot of teens will find support in validation in that part of the story. Unfortunately the accompanying mystery was slow and not very entertaining. The big reveal at the end fell flat for me. I was expecting more of a thriller instead of long stretches of teenage angst.
December 4, 2024
I’m going to go ahead and admit that I laughed at some things in this book that I don’t think were meant to be funny. For example, at one point, the main character is making a point that he’s noticing some recovery from previous depression. He says something like, “I’m finally asking myself normal questions, like ‘do I want to do mushrooms in the woods with a girl I might like.” And I don’t want to minimize the shift in his mental state or the joy of noticing a new distance from depressed thoughts.
But also, I couldn’t help laughing at how differently I defined “normal questions” in my own high school experience. It struck me funny.
Interesting comparisons aside, though, Max’s emotional journey through the book really packs a punch. The story travels from him peeling apart his feelings about an ex he’s not over to exploring new feelings for a girl who might be too cool for him to reeling from grief over a sudden loss. Every emotion felt real and raw, drawing me deep into Max’s story.
The cover copy hints that Max grapples with hazy memories of the time of the murder, but the story doesn’t really focus on that much. It’s much more about Max trying desperately to understand why this person died and what the relationship meant to him. Those threads are so well-spun that I rocketed through the book from start to finish.
I think readers who enjoy Caleb Roehrig’s mystery books will love this one.
Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions my own.
But also, I couldn’t help laughing at how differently I defined “normal questions” in my own high school experience. It struck me funny.
Interesting comparisons aside, though, Max’s emotional journey through the book really packs a punch. The story travels from him peeling apart his feelings about an ex he’s not over to exploring new feelings for a girl who might be too cool for him to reeling from grief over a sudden loss. Every emotion felt real and raw, drawing me deep into Max’s story.
The cover copy hints that Max grapples with hazy memories of the time of the murder, but the story doesn’t really focus on that much. It’s much more about Max trying desperately to understand why this person died and what the relationship meant to him. Those threads are so well-spun that I rocketed through the book from start to finish.
I think readers who enjoy Caleb Roehrig’s mystery books will love this one.
Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions my own.
October 11, 2023
If you like the teen angst, characters and vibes of Skins UK and Euphoria, I think this one is for you. Told in “Before” and “After” chapters, we follow newly out trans guy Max who is being bullied by his closeted ex. He then meets the enigmatic and glamorous Gloss who takes him under her wing where he begins to feel like he can be the guy he wants to be. After a party gone wrong where a boy is killed and Gloss confesses to the murder, Max tries to remember what happened. This was one I absolutely needed to take slower than I normally would. It’s definitely more character driven than plot, but I thought this was a beautiful coming of age story with a bit of a mystery. I loved that the author included a content warning page at the beginning of the book and also an author’s note about trans youth. I really enjoyed Max’s POV, but I couldn’t help but wonder how this book would have been with multiple POVs. I don’t think it needed them, but it would have been interesting to read. Overall, I very much enjoyed this one and I’m glad I took my time with it.
TW: alcohol abuse, drug use, violence, mental illness, homophobia, transphobia, bullying, child abuse and neglect
Thank you SohoTeen for an advanced reader’s copy in exchange for an honest review.
TW: alcohol abuse, drug use, violence, mental illness, homophobia, transphobia, bullying, child abuse and neglect
Thank you SohoTeen for an advanced reader’s copy in exchange for an honest review.
March 19, 2024
A good mystery, an interesting protagonist, and a slow burn mystery.
I liked the good mystery here. I also liked Max, our mc, struggling to fully be who he is and who he wants everyone to know - while still in high school. I really appreciated the struggle and the frustrations and highs and lows. The author has an amazing author's note and trigger warning right in the beginning and I loved it so much!
But a book about bullying is hard to read. So, although I loved Max and I found Gloss interesting (as much frustrating), the bullying was so hard to read. The mystery was well paced if a little slow burn. I loved this one!
A huge thank you to the author and publisher for providing an e-ARC via Netgalley. This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.
I liked the good mystery here. I also liked Max, our mc, struggling to fully be who he is and who he wants everyone to know - while still in high school. I really appreciated the struggle and the frustrations and highs and lows. The author has an amazing author's note and trigger warning right in the beginning and I loved it so much!
But a book about bullying is hard to read. So, although I loved Max and I found Gloss interesting (as much frustrating), the bullying was so hard to read. The mystery was well paced if a little slow burn. I loved this one!
A huge thank you to the author and publisher for providing an e-ARC via Netgalley. This does not affect my opinion regarding the book.
October 24, 2023
Max has recently come out as trans, and it’s made high school tough. He’s being bullied by Danny, someone he’d had a bit of a summer romance with. He wants to fade into the background and just make it to graduation, but when a new girl arrives at high school, everything changes, and Max finds himself walking the line between obsession and love. But when someone dies after a massive party gone wrong, everyone is convinced they know who did it and why – will Max learn that he’s placed his trust in the wrong person?
This story was told with a dual timeline, Before and After. Because of this, there isn’t much suspense relating to the murder. We find out early on who the victim was, so it comes down to a question of who committed the crime and why. However, the lack of suspense wasn’t an issue as this work was more of a character-driven read than a plot-driven one. The characters were well developed and complex, especially Danny and Max. I enjoyed the dynamics of their relationships as well as them as individual characters.
I liked that the author didn’t shy away from hard or difficult topics in this read. Bullying, identity struggles, self-harm, and transphobia are all incorporated throughout the read. However, the author managed to include these in ways that didn’t define the characters and honestly used them to craft a story that was mostly positive throughout. This made for a well-rounded and engaging book and helped to bring the character to life.
This is a YA work, but it certainly didn’t fall into YA tropes that often leave me dissatisfied. I recommend this read to anyone interested in a character-driven work that explores the life of a trans high school student with a murder mystery element to it. My thanks to NetGalley and Soho Press for allowing me to read this work, which will be published November 7, 2023. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own.
This story was told with a dual timeline, Before and After. Because of this, there isn’t much suspense relating to the murder. We find out early on who the victim was, so it comes down to a question of who committed the crime and why. However, the lack of suspense wasn’t an issue as this work was more of a character-driven read than a plot-driven one. The characters were well developed and complex, especially Danny and Max. I enjoyed the dynamics of their relationships as well as them as individual characters.
I liked that the author didn’t shy away from hard or difficult topics in this read. Bullying, identity struggles, self-harm, and transphobia are all incorporated throughout the read. However, the author managed to include these in ways that didn’t define the characters and honestly used them to craft a story that was mostly positive throughout. This made for a well-rounded and engaging book and helped to bring the character to life.
This is a YA work, but it certainly didn’t fall into YA tropes that often leave me dissatisfied. I recommend this read to anyone interested in a character-driven work that explores the life of a trans high school student with a murder mystery element to it. My thanks to NetGalley and Soho Press for allowing me to read this work, which will be published November 7, 2023. All thoughts and opinions expressed in this review are my own.
June 6, 2024
Max is a trans teen who is not having the best year. Danny, his summer fling, is bullying Max ever since he came out, and Max’s mother continues to misgender him. Max’s teacher can tell he’s not doing well, so when a new girl, Gloss, arrives at the school, she sits Gloss next to Max. From there a friendship blossoms. Gloss accepts Max for who he is and helps him come out of his shell. But life with Gloss is a little hazy as he begins experimenting with drugs and alcohol. One night at a party Danny is murdered, and Max and Gloss are the suspects. Max has no recollection of that night but is desperate to find out the truth.
This is hard for me to rate because I enjoyed the book, but it’s marketed as a thriller and I would not label it that at all. The murder of Danny is the least interesting part of this book, and it’s not the focus for the vast majority of it. I enjoyed Max’s character and watching his development. He seeks validation from anyone around him, and his friendship with Gloss is both good and bad. Most people can relate to Max’s teen experience of feeling dejected and wanting to feel good in your own skin, and him being trans adds representation that is needed in YA stories. I wish Gloss’ character would have been more fleshed out because we really don’t learn much about her or figure her out. As a thriller, this book is disappointing, but as a coming of age YA story, there are a lot of great elements. Thanks to NetGalley, SoHo Press, and Tash McAdam for this free ARC in exchange for my honest review.
This is hard for me to rate because I enjoyed the book, but it’s marketed as a thriller and I would not label it that at all. The murder of Danny is the least interesting part of this book, and it’s not the focus for the vast majority of it. I enjoyed Max’s character and watching his development. He seeks validation from anyone around him, and his friendship with Gloss is both good and bad. Most people can relate to Max’s teen experience of feeling dejected and wanting to feel good in your own skin, and him being trans adds representation that is needed in YA stories. I wish Gloss’ character would have been more fleshed out because we really don’t learn much about her or figure her out. As a thriller, this book is disappointing, but as a coming of age YA story, there are a lot of great elements. Thanks to NetGalley, SoHo Press, and Tash McAdam for this free ARC in exchange for my honest review.
September 28, 2023
I received a gifted copy of this book via netgalley and in exchange I'm leaving an honest review.
I knew I would love this book when I saw in the synopsis that this is a trans and queer story. I haven't read many books with a trans main character, and I thought that was really cool.
This book alternates between the present and the past, the present being after the murder, the past being well, in the past.
Max, having felt alone after transitioning, makes friends with the mysterious, beautiful Gloss. She takes him under her wing, gives him a place to stay so he doesn't have to face his home life, and she quickly becomes his everything. They're closer than friends, but they're not in a relationship. She has secrets.
When someone dies at a party, an intoxicated Max panics--did he kill them? Was it Gloss? What really happened that night?
This book tells a difficult story about seeing the good in people, even when it has dangerous consequences. No one wants to believe their loved ones are dangerous. It's intense, and Max appears to be an unreliable narrator. The after timeline left me on the edge of my seat. I devoured this book. I would have read it even faster if I weren't in a chronic pain flare. I read the majority of the story in the last couple days, finishing it late last night. I really enjoyed this book. If you're looking for a queer thriller, this one is a great choice for you.
I knew I would love this book when I saw in the synopsis that this is a trans and queer story. I haven't read many books with a trans main character, and I thought that was really cool.
This book alternates between the present and the past, the present being after the murder, the past being well, in the past.
Max, having felt alone after transitioning, makes friends with the mysterious, beautiful Gloss. She takes him under her wing, gives him a place to stay so he doesn't have to face his home life, and she quickly becomes his everything. They're closer than friends, but they're not in a relationship. She has secrets.
When someone dies at a party, an intoxicated Max panics--did he kill them? Was it Gloss? What really happened that night?
This book tells a difficult story about seeing the good in people, even when it has dangerous consequences. No one wants to believe their loved ones are dangerous. It's intense, and Max appears to be an unreliable narrator. The after timeline left me on the edge of my seat. I devoured this book. I would have read it even faster if I weren't in a chronic pain flare. I read the majority of the story in the last couple days, finishing it late last night. I really enjoyed this book. If you're looking for a queer thriller, this one is a great choice for you.
January 12, 2024
For fans of murder mysteries, past and present storylines, and a main character that can’t remember the night in question!
Max has been having a bit of a rough time recently since transitioning: one parent is supportive and loving, and the other is not; his recent ex has become his bully. So when Gloss, a new girl in town who’s instantly the cool girl, takes him under her wing, he’s delighted. But they’re complete opposites on the surface: Gloss is rich, outgoing, and rule-breaking; Max is not wealthy, a musician lost in his lyrics, and trying to get by.
Then a party ends in murder, and Max is the main suspect until someone else confesses, throwing everything Max knows into turmoil, especially since his memory of that night isn’t coming back… (You find out very early on who was murdered and who confesses, but since the summary didn’t list it, I thought I’d not “spoil” it.)
Told in the past (Max meeting Gloss through the night of the party) and present (Max being questioned by police through the point of him remembering the night of the party), both narratives careen towards each other, giving you plenty of chance to try to figure out what did actually happen that night.
(TW alcoholic parent, child abuse/ misgendering, transphobia / mentions past suicidal ideation)
--from Book Riot's Unusual Suspects newsleter
Max has been having a bit of a rough time recently since transitioning: one parent is supportive and loving, and the other is not; his recent ex has become his bully. So when Gloss, a new girl in town who’s instantly the cool girl, takes him under her wing, he’s delighted. But they’re complete opposites on the surface: Gloss is rich, outgoing, and rule-breaking; Max is not wealthy, a musician lost in his lyrics, and trying to get by.
Then a party ends in murder, and Max is the main suspect until someone else confesses, throwing everything Max knows into turmoil, especially since his memory of that night isn’t coming back… (You find out very early on who was murdered and who confesses, but since the summary didn’t list it, I thought I’d not “spoil” it.)
Told in the past (Max meeting Gloss through the night of the party) and present (Max being questioned by police through the point of him remembering the night of the party), both narratives careen towards each other, giving you plenty of chance to try to figure out what did actually happen that night.
(TW alcoholic parent, child abuse/ misgendering, transphobia / mentions past suicidal ideation)
--from Book Riot's Unusual Suspects newsleter
January 31, 2024
I love when I'm surprised by a book like this. The summary sort of made it seem like an average queer angst fest, which I'm not opposed to, but I wasn't expecting anything from a story about an emo trans guy being bullied in high school that I haven't seen (or tbh lived) before.
I'm *so* glad I gave this a try. There's something both poetic and raw in McAdam's narrative prose, easily snagging along all five senses into every scene. I did, in fact, read this in three days. Not only because I was out sick, but because I kept thinking about the book anytime I'd put it down. The descriptions of both lost love and an obsessive, whirlwind friendship were so beautifully visceral. The death seemed less of a shock and more of an inevitability.
I'm also a sucker for the alternating flashbacks/flashforwards. It reminds me a lot of 'Carrie', where the carnage of tragedy is discussed after the fact, while you're reading along to the narrative of what led up to it. And I was straight-up jealous of McAdam's turn of phrase. I feel like I want to take a class taught by them.
Also, did Not expect the twist. Like, I wasn't confused or kept guessing, my expectations were completely subverted. I did not catch on until the story wanted me to.
My one gripe is that I couldn't force myself to like Danny. Seeing him as Mr. Dreamboat from Max's POV when he was kind of average-at-best and an absolute jerkwad at worst, but that might just be me and my own preferences.
This also should be required reading for any cis friend or family member that 'doesn't get it.' Give them a pop quiz and everything; I think it'll help.
-SH
I'm *so* glad I gave this a try. There's something both poetic and raw in McAdam's narrative prose, easily snagging along all five senses into every scene. I did, in fact, read this in three days. Not only because I was out sick, but because I kept thinking about the book anytime I'd put it down. The descriptions of both lost love and an obsessive, whirlwind friendship were so beautifully visceral. The death seemed less of a shock and more of an inevitability.
I'm also a sucker for the alternating flashbacks/flashforwards. It reminds me a lot of 'Carrie', where the carnage of tragedy is discussed after the fact, while you're reading along to the narrative of what led up to it. And I was straight-up jealous of McAdam's turn of phrase. I feel like I want to take a class taught by them.
Also, did Not expect the twist. Like, I wasn't confused or kept guessing, my expectations were completely subverted. I did not catch on until the story wanted me to.
My one gripe is that I couldn't force myself to like Danny. Seeing him as Mr. Dreamboat from Max's POV when he was kind of average-at-best and an absolute jerkwad at worst, but that might just be me and my own preferences.
This also should be required reading for any cis friend or family member that 'doesn't get it.' Give them a pop quiz and everything; I think it'll help.
-SH
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