This debut novel has potential. I felt like I had found a diamond but still rough and encased in dirt and stone. It just needs some work to make it shine.
It was lightning fast instalove, which always bothers me. But Sam and Lucas still shared nice moments where they learned more about each other. And their intimate moments were sexy!
But a whole lot of the story is about them sad because they aren’t together. It was quite angsty. Not exactly clinically describing depression, but not far. I loved seeing the people around them, family and friends, trying to understand what was happening, then helping them.
As a hockey romance, it wasn’t completly satisfying. Most of the hockey action is off page. But the little bits about the game and a team’s dynamics were nice.
But my main problem was that the story dragged a lot. Between the events being told twice–once from each point of view–and the long internal monologues, I admit that I sometimes skimmed. Which I never do.
I don’t doubt that the author will get better, because I felt her love for the genre. And there’s space for growth.
Quickie
- Series: Chicago Steel #1 (can be read as a standalone)
- Hashtags: #hockey romance #forbidden romance #instalove #brother’s friend
- Triggers: cheating
- Main couple: Samantha Fox & Lucas Bouchard
- Hotness: 3/5
- Romance: 3/5
- + Lucas’s grand gesture was soooo romantic
- – it needs a lot more editing and tightening
EDIT: the author has worked hard on making the book better, and it shows. In its re-release, the structure is way better--no repetition of whole chapters from a different point of view anymore, and I don't remember any important scene told only in a passive form. It would be even better with some more tightening, fewer internal monologues.
The author should probably work on the dreaded 'show, don't tell'. Most of Samantha's qualities are described by Lucas, though we never see them during their interactions. It would also help with introducing some important elements early on, instead of only writing about them when it becomes relevant.
As for my personal taste, I wasn't a fan of label dropping--I honestly don't care what brand a dress is from, I barely even care about its color. Also, still not a fan of fast instalove. And maybe it's the way the story is rewritten, but I didn't see as much nice conversations between the characters to create a connection, as I wrote in my first review.
All in all, it's a way more interesting debut novel than it was.