Lost and Broken: My Journey Back from Chronic Pain and Crippling Anxiety

by Adam Smith

Adam Smith, 26-year member of Congress and Chair of the House Armed Services Committee for the last four years, offers a candid memoir about his years-long struggle with anxiety and chronic pain, and the winding path to find the right diagnosis and treatment.

“Early one morning in April of 2016 I woke up and seriously contemplated the possibility that I would never be able to generate the strength, focus, and courage to get out of bed. The combination of crippling anxiety, chronic pain, muscle atrophy, and the fascinating mix of pharmaceuticals coursing through my body had, I feared, finally broken me. My life terrified me. I had been fighting some combination of these battles for just over three years at this point, and I didn’t think I could do it for one more day.”

Representative Adam Smith was successful by all measures, with a long, distinguished career in Congress and a loving marriage with children. Yet seemingly out of nowhere, his body and mind broke down to the point where every day was a relentless struggle to just keep moving. It’s a struggle millions of Americans know all too well. Would he be able to meet his responsibilities as a husband and father? Could he still maintain his breakneck professional schedule and continue to do his job well? He soon realized he couldn’t will himself well—he needed help. Thus began a desperate search for the right diagnosis and treatment for his mental and physical pain that lasted over six years and involved more than a hundred different health care providers. With unflinching honesty, Smith reveals how he got to this lowest point in life, and how he slowly, painfully, and unevenly found his way back to having a calmer mind and being free of chronic pain and medication.

Smith discovered the severe limitations of our nation’s health care system, and brought him face to face with the cost of the stigma our country has against admitting to and dealing with mental health issues. He learned that life isn’t about finding that quick fix or clear-cut mental and physical program to stop worrying and struggling. It’s about learning who you are, understanding your body and mind well enough to face those struggles that we will all inevitably face, and then being able to enjoy your life even when those struggles come.

Genres: Nonfiction, Personal Growth, Health, Memoir

255 pages, Kindle Edition

Published May 30, 2023

About the author

There are several authors with this name on Goodreads. This is the catch-all profile.

See also:
Adam Smith: 18th century political economist
Adam Smith: jokes
Adam Smith: relationships, pornography, cross stitch
Adam Smith: IT
Adam Smith: illustrator
Adam Smith: business, pseudonym of George Jerome Waldo Goodman

Reviews

[Courtney Fraser · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciated how you brought up your personal mental health and chronic pain struggles and how you dealt with them. I needed to see that even government officials are human and deal with the same issues as all humans deal with.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lost and Broken by Congressman Adam Smith was quite interesting and a bit sad in how the healthcare system, therapy, and pharmaceuticals can dictate the kind of care we receive or do not receive. The author had a friendly writing style with humor and easy-to-understand information.

Adam Smith, a 26-year member of Congress and Chair of the House Armed Services Committee for the last four years, offers a candid memoir about his years-long struggle with anxiety and chronic pain and the winding path to find the right diagnosis and treatment.

Dealing with chronic pain and not getting all the answers is exhausting, so I was interested to read this book and to see how Congressman Adam Smith navigates his trials and tribulations through the healthcare system, even with having access to good doctors and specialists.

I liked how he mentioned that it wasn't the amount of stress in a person's life that exacerbates anxiety but how we process it.

The author discussed muscle activation therapy, which I had never heard of. I found it quite interesting and will do more research on this to find out how it helps with chronic pain. The author provides links and resources.

Lost and Broken is an insightful book that details how difficult it can be to get answers about our health. I would recommend this book for anyone dealing with anxiety or chronic pain, or just a good memoir read, as the author has a nice, engaging writing style.

#LostandBroken #NetGalley @HCI_Books

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lost and Broken by Congressman Adam Smith was quite interesting and a bit sad in how the healthcare system, therapy, and pharmaceuticals can dictate the kind of care we receive or do not receive. The author had a friendly writing style with humor and easy-to-understand information.

Adam Smith, a 26-year member of Congress and Chair of the House Armed Services Committee for the last four years, offers a candid memoir about his years-long struggle with anxiety and chronic pain and the winding path to find the right diagnosis and treatment.

Dealing with chronic pain and not getting all the answers is exhausting, so I was interested to read this book and to see how Congressman Adam Smith navigates his trials and tribulations through the healthcare system, even with having access to good doctors and specialists.

I liked how he mentioned that it wasn't the amount of stress in a person's life that exacerbates anxiety but how we process it.

The author discussed muscle activation therapy, which I had never heard of. I found it quite interesting and will do more research on this to find out how it helps with chronic pain. The author provides links and resources.

Lost and Broken is an insightful book that details how difficult it can be to get answers about our health. I would recommend this book for anyone dealing with anxiety or chronic pain, or just a good memoir read, as the author has a nice, engaging writing style.

#LostandBroken #NetGalley @HCI_Books

[Jeanie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Because this was a memoir, I give it a pass on the writing which made it a challenging read. Nonetheless, the authors indictment on the healthcare system seems a bit hypocritical, in that he admits seeking a “quick fix” bouncing around endlessly, rather than staying with a provider whom he thought might help him in the first place. That being said, taking medication for anxiety, without getting counseling to understand the source of it, is a set up for chronic problems. He finally got to this, but could have done a better job writing about the journey and taking more responsibility owning it, rather than shifting so much blame elsewhere. Finally, it’s ironic that, as a congressman, he is in a position to affect needed change in our Healthcare system. Since he complained so passionately about his experiences with it, why is he not an an active agent effecting real change? Another irony is that his book provides only accolades, no email or website, for which one may contact him, as most authors do. Otherwise, I would have addressed this with him directly.

[Mary Keen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Adam Smith has been known to us for decades bc of his being a congressman from the district where i lived. I had no idea of his physical and mental suffering until i happened to see this book on the library shelves.

I've attended several meetings he's held, even one at a fairgrounds since a huge crowd was anticipated and did show up and filled up the bleachers. He's been controversial on various issues --and at one meeting, a Peace group stood up with their backs to the stage with signs against his policies.

I'm sorry that he's gone thru so much, but his advice to not wait, but to see a doctor right away struck me the wrong way since unlike many Americans, he himself has excellent medical care, both at home with insurance (altho he mentioned the high expense) and especially at the huge military facilities in DC which he has access to as a congressman.

240 pages, read some, scanned parts too

[Craig Bergland · Rating 1 out of 5]

Awful. Rep. Smith makes so many unfounded assumptions and leaps to so many unfounded conclusions that his well intentioned book is likely to do more harm than good. His biases against medications, which he insists on calling "drugs", are based entirely in prejudice and folk wisdom. His insistence on an objective treatment modality for mental illness betrays his lack of understanding that people are different and so respond differently to the same treatment. His belief that physical therapy didn't help him as much as he thought it should is foolishly generalized to a belief that it doesn't help anyone. Ironically, the method that he believes helped him is just a different type of physical therapy. He hold far to many closed minded biases to be able to produce a truly helpful book on this subject. Sadly, this book's most likely effect will be to scare people away from treatment.

[Stephen A. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Congressman Adam Smith's "Lost and Broken" is an amazing book. It's strengths are twofold. First, it is written from the viewpoint of a patient experiencing chronic pain and crippling anxiety, and not from the viewpoint of a medical provider. It details the ups and downs he personally experienced in obtaining professional help and seeking cures. Second, the frankness and candidity he employs in explaining the psychological and medical issues facing him are unusual for a politician. For example, he reveals that he didn't learn until his twenties that he was adopted, and the woman whom he thought was his aunt was really his birth mother. He also discusses his unrelenting drive to overcome the meager circumstances of his early life. I recommend "Lost and Broken" to one and all as it deals with issues many of us face.

[Cheryl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of all the books I've read by government officials, Adam Smith's story is the most honest account of not only his experiences of struggling and recovery from chronic pain and anxiety, but also how broken the medical system in the U.S. really is. I appreciated reading his perspectives on how complicated the medical system is (although anyone who lives in the U.S. already knows this), as well as his tenacity of finding solutions for his recovery. His story is one of many examples of how people struggling physically and/or mentally must advocate for themselves and never give up. Only the person struggling knows what they really need for their recovery, and the solutions are different for everyone.

[Richard · Rating 4 out of 5]

Smith is a senator representing my state albeit not my district so I don't follow him that closely but was intrigued when I saw a photo of him recently looking different than I expected- older yes but different in a way not easy to detect. Lost and Broken tells if his life long journey with anxiety, depression and pain. An unhealthy cocktail to be sure but he was a the esteem of anyone willing to read about his struggles and ultimate triumph. We need more representatives with his drive and fortitude unlike many of the half-wits he works with in Congress.

[jaga · Rating 5 out of 5]

FINDING TRUTH AND WELLNESS. This book is extremely well written, but could not have been easy to write. We all have our struggles whether they be physical or psychological. But to share one's struggles in such a detailed and public way takes an incredible amount of bravery and commitment. My favorite part of this book is the overarching message of persistently seeking answers and solutions to our challenges. I hope this book will inspire others to do the same.

[Abrah J. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a great book. It was a very quick read. I loved how candid the author was about his struggles both mental and physical, and how his childhood contributed to it. He also touched upon how messed up our healthcare system is. The author also happens to be a previous Washington State Senator.

Through it all, he kept going. Having debilitating anxiety myself, this book gave me hope that with the right therapies and medical professionals I still can leave a calmer/better life.

[Peter · Rating 4 out of 5]

My admiration for Smith's Congressional career has grown by the revelations in this memoir, showing that he was working effectively while under the dual stressors of anxiety and pain.

[Pat · Rating 3 out of 5]

Author is my former Congressman I admire very much and he has written a very personal and detailed account of suffering from pain and anxiety and his many struggles to recover.

[Keith West · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well-written and open memoir from a senior Congressman about his battles with physical pain and mental health.

[Louise Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Congressman Adam Smith from Washington State writes a book about struggles he has had with chronic pain and anxiety. Written in 2023, I found his journey to find relief to be compelling. I listened to the audiobook which was read by the author.

[Bethany · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who struggles with chronic pain, I was eager to hear the author's perspective. When he was telling his story, I found it compelling and interesting. However, when he strayed into prescriptive language about how all pain can be overcome with the right attitude, he lost me. I am thrilled that his story has a happy ending; I was left wishing my illness was also in my head. I could see this being helpful for some readers though it was not for me.