Nobody Wants Your Sh*t: The Art of Decluttering Before You Die

by Messie Condo

Free yourself and your family from the f*cking clutter before you croak!

Inspired by The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, Nobody Wants Your Sh*t will light a fire under your untidy ass with humor and helpful organizing tips that you’ll actually want to use.

Like a delightfully foul-mouthed best friend, this book dishes out the funny, unpretentious advice you need to hear most. You’ll discover how to deal with your sh*t like there’s no tomorrow, live in the moment without the f*cking mess, and make your life and your eventual death a hell of a lot easier. With this witty guide, you’ll learn how to
- ditch the d*mn indecision
- get your sh*t together and feel fantastic
- give your busy family a f*cking breakand more!

Whether you’re getting ready to move in, move on, or just move your ass, Nobody Wants Your Sh*t will help you take control of your f*cking life.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Self Help, Humor, How To, Personal Development, Psychology

194 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2023

Reviews

[Sheri · Rating 2 out of 5]

The decluttering concepts were practical and useful in overcoming obstacles and justifications, but I didn't care for the redundant swearing in this Americanized version of the Swedish concept of death cleaning. The repetitiveness also turned this into a longer than necessary book; this three hour audiobook would have been best encapsulated into a one hour listen so listeners could quickly put the tips into action in their own lives. Best for non-sentimental, practical types who don't mind unapologetic in-your-face straight talk that is supposed to come off as humorous.

[Elizabeth Knight · Rating 5 out of 5]

The audiobook was a perfect listen. It felt like I was listening to a tough love friend call me out on my crap. Sardonic and cheeky, it made me laugh out loud at parts and made me think about the future of my stuff.

[Heather Adores Books]

Genre ~ non fiction
Publication date ~ March 7, 2023
Est page Count ~ 126 (5 chapters)
Audio length ~ 3 hours 2 minutes
Narrator ~ Hillary Huber
Featuring ~ excessive unnecessary swearing

I really need this book to kick me in the rear because I don't want my only daughter to have to sift through my crap when I'm gone. No telling what she'd find.

Here's a secret about me ~ I am a bit of a hoarder. I could probably find a shirt that I wore back in high school in the 90's right beside a note my bff passed to me back in 5th grade.

I'm a sentimental person, so it's hard for me to get rid of the jacket my grandma used to wear or her and my grandpa's marriage certificate (she was 16 when they tied the knot!) or my daughters baby teeth (I'd really like to make a necklace out of these for funzies just to gross her out).

And what am I going to do with my grandfather's cased folded flag that he got from serving in WW2? I was his only grandchild and he died when I was 14, so obviously my daughter never met him and she doesn't seem like she'll want it.

*************************************************************************
So far I have:
deleted Kohl's sales emails dating back to 2019🛍
made $16 by selling some stuff on a local fb page 💰
got rid of some unmentionables 🩲 (not on the sale site!!) but wait can I sell them somewhere? 🤔 JK!!
Update! Obviously I didn’t do a thorough job because I just found $34 in singles in the drawer of drawers, jackpot! And no they’re not from what you might think 😜

Up next:
try to sell more stuff, which will probably be for less than what I paid for it 💰
shred my landline bill from 2007 ☎
get rid of textbooks from 1999 📚

Stay tuned for more updates...

[Jennifer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ok, there’s really only so much one can say about decluttering, but still the books come and still I read them. Not saying this is what happened here but here’s an idea. Get a book already written in another language, and no matter if it’s already been already translated into English, something like The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, pop it into AI, and ask AI to translate and to add in some swear words. Then ask it to add a summary at the end of each chapter. Pick random phrases to put in large print. Et voila. A new book. You may need to add some anecdotes. I’m not too sure if AI is up to that yet.

[Kevin · Rating 3 out of 5]

The “In-your-face” decluttering book. Not a lot new here, just does not mince words or language. If you need someone swearing at you to clean up your clutter now, this is the book for you.

[Drake Allen · Rating 2 out of 5]

“Oh man, I’m so edgy and cool cause I unnecessarily say a swear word in every other sentence.” - The author of this book, probably.

[Philip · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny if way too foul-mouthed; I'm no prude, but when the F- and S-bombs are landing every other sentence, they soon lose their ability to either shock or amuse.

Still, full of surprisingly useful advise; and so while it made for a fun listen, it would probably be even more valuable as a future reference as "that time approaches."

[StephanieD · Rating 3 out of 5]

“…if you want a clutter-free house, you have to make it a priority. If you don’t, you’re going to keep tripping over piles of clothes for the rest of your life, which could be considerably shorter if you’re tripping over stuff all the time.”

3 ⭐️

Listen to this book for straight-talk decluttering motivation during an afternoon of cleaning. It uses blunt & vulgar language for emphasis, but it’s way over-the-top and detracts from the message and reading experience.

Concept was good, execution was disappointing, and clutter was tackled.

[Relyn · Rating 1 out of 5]

Give me a break! Aside from the punny author's name, I found nothing to like about this book. The title should have warned me, but who wants to read a book with that much cursing? Worse: this book is just a poor copy of Margareta Magnusson's awesome The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning. I found this whole thing annoying.

[Stephanie Vaughn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I like the advice. Be better without the vulgarity.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Audiobook had me giggling.

[Stacia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Decluttering books are my zen place. This was a fun one, kind of a loose mix of the Swedish Art of Death Cleaning (one I've never been able to get through), Marie Kondo tactics, & various other popular advice on the topic. It's blunt & swear-y so it may not appeal to all, but if you're looking for a kick in the ass to get started on (or back to) your decluttering journey, this might be the book you need.

[Courtney Jordan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never did I think that a book on decluttering would get a 5 star review from me, but this book was awesome! From page 1, I was completely cracking up, as it literally sounded just like me! I recently had some of these moments with my mother in law and felt 100% what this book was saying.

If you have even just a little of too much stuff, this book not only puts things into perspective but it is super entertaining!

[Jade Wright · Rating 2 out of 5]

She told me not to buy trinkets :(
JK 2⭐'s because it was repetitive and I'm not leaving feeling like I learned anything new.

[Cris · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

It’s Maria Kondo with a sarcastic personality and an mouth on her! She reminds you that memories are better than items. Honestly, how many people want things of their parents now? Everyone wants new furniture, clothes, and now memories. I would still ask the family if they was anything they were interested in. My mom had us placed post it notes on it. If two of us wanted the same item then she decided. Plain and simple.

[Makaley Deal · Rating 1 out of 5]

I get cursing is a part of the book but come on.

[Lindsay Nixon · Rating 3 out of 5]

Instead other approaches to decluttering and minimizing (eg does this spark joy, put everything in bins) this book uses the Swedish (?) art of “death cleaning” suggesting you think about how all your belongings will affect/cause stress to your loved ones… so get rid of your junk now and be realistic.

The author swears a lot and can be brash and in your face which might motivate you or turn you off.

[Jennifer Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really enjoyed this, even if it does call you out on your stuff, and really enjoyed the chapter checklists. I didn't mind the swearing but some may not care for it, even though it does drive the point home.

[Maggie Pittman]

I don’t really know how to rate this. Honestly if you know what you need to do and you just need some motivation, listen to the first chapter and it’ll do the trick. It IS helpful to think of your stuff as something someone else will have to deal with if you don’t.

That said, I am no stranger to language and this was a bit aggressive (maybe because I was listening at 1.75x so it felt more frequent?) so if you don’t have a high tolerance for cussing, you should probably skip this.

For someone who needs convincing to declutter, maybe the entire book is necessary/helpful. For me, the first 20 min gave me what I needed and the rest was skimmable/skippable.

[Jennifer]

Oh I needed that tough love.

[Kathy Giese · Rating 4 out of 5]

Common sense advice presented in an entertaining manner. It felt like tough love from your favorite foul mouthed friend.

[Erica (Cheekymama2) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good reminders! Perfect time to read this book. I'm ready to get rid of my 💩!!

[~ kay ~ · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is tailored to all the retired baddies, i will revert back to this in several decades when i am drowning in all my trinkets as the sentimental collecting little crow I am.
( did get a couple good tips tho)

[Linda Sadler · Rating 5 out of 5]

The greatest gift my mother ever gave me was an organized file box of all the important papers I would need when she passed to the universe. Her will, her car titles, all her accounts information, insurance policies, all my dad’s death information…everything in one neat organized file box separated into folders. Every year we had a family meeting where she went over everything. She prepaid her funeral. I had very little to do myself. I was so heartbroken in grief that without that file box and instructions, I seriously don’t know how I would have gotten through it.

The second thing my mother did was to downsize. She lived in a senior living apartment, two bedrooms that were neat and organized with the stuff she loved and used. She had the family items listed as to who gets what and told us in advance at the yearly family meeting. She lived her life happy with all the conveniences she wanted.

She had her finances in order. My name was on the bank account, my brother’s was on the car title. Nothing had to be done after passing.

This book talks about the greatest gift you can give your loved ones. Having a house full of crap ain’t it. Anyone who had had to go in and clean out a relatives house after passing, even with a minimum amount of stuff knows the truth. When my grandmother passed it took my mom a solid month working 6 days a week 8-10 hours per day to clean that house. My grandma used to hide important documents. My mother learned from that experience and vowed never to put her kids through that. It took me 2 1/2 days to clean out my mom apartment. It would have went faster if I didn’t have to sit down and sob multiple times.

[Kym Moore · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had to read this book just for the title alone. As I began reading, the author is too funny and smart-ass hilarious! Messie Condo is an organizational savant and devoted "swearer."

The author's main objective:
Death cleaning, and decluttering like lighting a fire under your lazy butt. Get your ducks in a row and put shit where it belongs. Let go of your bullshit. Don't leave it for your loved ones when you die! Death cleaning makes life easier.

Messie's checklist about why death cleaning has its advantages:

1. Better sleep and overall mental health
2. More energy and creativity.
3. A deeper appreciation for what you have
4. More control over your life.
5. Easier decisions.
6. Clearer priorities
7. Less laundry.
8. Fewer things to dust and therefore fewer allergens
9. Fewer arguments with loved ones.
10. The ability to quickly find what you need.
11. A connection to your space
12. A sense of accomplishment
13. More self confidence
14. A clutter-free space you can be proud of
15. More time room and money for what you want.

Her final thoughts:
-Kick back before you kick the bucket.
-Use it or lose it.
-Focus on progress, not perfection.
-Look for decluttering opportunities.
-Decluttering never stops.

Like me, if you have an issue with letting things go, or thinking that you will keep certain items for a project down the road that never happens. A whimsical and hilarious read that will remind you to get out of your chair of procrastination and start decluttering for your sanity's sake!

[Astrid Inge · Rating 1 out of 5]

dnf!!
Op blz. 31 en ik voel me nu al belazerd. Hoezo is dit non-fictie? Voor mij is het zo fictie als maar kan en heel, heel deprimerend. "... get your fucking ducks in a row. That means figuring out what makes you happy, ditching what doesn't, and putting shit where it belongs. It's not hard.." Voor mij is dat wel hard en ál mijn shit maakt mij happy - oke, Messie Condo? The art of decluttering ga ik duidelijk niet beheersen voor mijn dood.
Stomme opruimgoeroe met je stomme populaire taalgebruik. Ga je met wereldvrede bezighouden of zo.

[Rebecca Isbell · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wondered several times if the author contractually had a minimum word requirement for this book and struggled, then out of desperation added a few unnecessary curse words in every single sentence???

[Jean Gidich-holbrook · Rating 2 out of 5]

Meh..used passive aggressive techniques and jargon to get you to get rid of your stuff. Give me positivity over self serving negativity. I may not be any closer to getting rid of my varsity tennis sweatshirt from High School but it gives me joy so it’s staying 🤣

[Berni · Rating 5 out of 5]

Swear-y & hilarious. I listened to this while decluttering & laughing 😃

[Angela · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 stars. Some good advice but very repetitive in a lot of chapters.