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More: Life on the Edge of Adventure and Motherhood
An intense and emotional epistolary memoir by one of the world's top ice climbers, born at the confluence of motherhood, adventure, career, and marriage.
As one of the world’s leading female professional rock and ice climbers, Burhardt and her husband led globe-trotting, adventure-seeking lives. When she learns that she’s pregnant—with twins—Burhardt at first tries to justify her insistence on pursuing extreme risk in the face of responsibility. But she is ultimately forced to grieve the avalanche of emotions that accompanies any major life transitions along with the physical changes in her own body.
Based on the letters and journals Burhardt diligently kept over the course of those six years, More takes the reader on an around-the-world journey as Burhardt explores the transformative, identity-shifting experience of motherhood and its irreversible impact on career, identity, marriage, and self.
In the early weeks of her children's lives, Burhardt immerses herself in adoration for her twins and grappling with the tremendous guilt and struggle around having to return to risk-laden work and that ever elusive balance mothers everywhere seek amidst it all.
As the newness of her twins fades into a permanent reality, Burhardt turns her attention towards her marriage and the collateral damage as she and her husband, Peter, struggle to navigate their new normal. As anger and resentment threaten the foundation of her family, Burhardt courageously looks to her past—and her own mother's tumultuous and confusing history of success, violence, and ragged divorce—to better understand her own way forward. How will she break free from the legacy of her own childhood to start fresh with her own family?
Raw, candid, and galvanizing, More is a passionate and poignant testament to the enduring power of love and our lifelong journey to understand ourselves as we strive to always pursue more.
As one of the world’s leading female professional rock and ice climbers, Burhardt and her husband led globe-trotting, adventure-seeking lives. When she learns that she’s pregnant—with twins—Burhardt at first tries to justify her insistence on pursuing extreme risk in the face of responsibility. But she is ultimately forced to grieve the avalanche of emotions that accompanies any major life transitions along with the physical changes in her own body.
Based on the letters and journals Burhardt diligently kept over the course of those six years, More takes the reader on an around-the-world journey as Burhardt explores the transformative, identity-shifting experience of motherhood and its irreversible impact on career, identity, marriage, and self.
In the early weeks of her children's lives, Burhardt immerses herself in adoration for her twins and grappling with the tremendous guilt and struggle around having to return to risk-laden work and that ever elusive balance mothers everywhere seek amidst it all.
As the newness of her twins fades into a permanent reality, Burhardt turns her attention towards her marriage and the collateral damage as she and her husband, Peter, struggle to navigate their new normal. As anger and resentment threaten the foundation of her family, Burhardt courageously looks to her past—and her own mother's tumultuous and confusing history of success, violence, and ragged divorce—to better understand her own way forward. How will she break free from the legacy of her own childhood to start fresh with her own family?
Raw, candid, and galvanizing, More is a passionate and poignant testament to the enduring power of love and our lifelong journey to understand ourselves as we strive to always pursue more.
335 pages, Kindle Edition
Published March 7, 2023
97 people are currently reading
1410 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews
March 25, 2023
This is such a hard book to review. It's a chronicle of the author's first six years as a mother, from pregnancy until her twins are almost five years old. She is a professional climber, author, and nonprofit founder, and she journals to her children about balancing these roles along with motherhood.
As a new mom, I couldn't put this down. ("More" actually came out the day my daughter was born.) I found myself reading this while breastfeeding late every night, and several passages resonated deeply, particularly one about how devastating the passage of time feels: "I always knew there would be firsts, but I never knew there would be lasts. And it’s this fact—that I will never hold your fingers for the first time again, or have you both fit in the palm of my hand—that I was utterly unprepared for." The writing is personal and engaging, and you feel the sense of urgency and crisis forming the author's words.
Yet I finished "More" feeling unsatisfied. I invested over 300 pages of time in the author's day-to-day experience, including her marital relationship, her climbing career, and her nonprofit work, and her conclusion was merely that her personhood is an evolution. I wanted to know where she left things with her husband (social media says they are still married), how she recovered physically as a climber (unclear if she lost her sponsorships as many female athletes do when she had to reduce her climbing), and the direction her nonprofit is headed (she suggests a few pivot points as the organization grows without much detail). I didn't gain any insight into how a marriage can heal, the difficulty of resuming a professional athletic career post-partum, or telework as a means of professional connection during early motherhood and the pandemic.
I can appreciate these weren't focal points of the book, but I would have felt more rewarded with some larger context. I'm also a wife and athlete and have spent significant time working in southern Africa, so I'm curious about her takeaways as to what's possible in those roles after almost six years of reflection. So while I enjoyed the journey, a peak at the destination would have been welcome.
As a new mom, I couldn't put this down. ("More" actually came out the day my daughter was born.) I found myself reading this while breastfeeding late every night, and several passages resonated deeply, particularly one about how devastating the passage of time feels: "I always knew there would be firsts, but I never knew there would be lasts. And it’s this fact—that I will never hold your fingers for the first time again, or have you both fit in the palm of my hand—that I was utterly unprepared for." The writing is personal and engaging, and you feel the sense of urgency and crisis forming the author's words.
Yet I finished "More" feeling unsatisfied. I invested over 300 pages of time in the author's day-to-day experience, including her marital relationship, her climbing career, and her nonprofit work, and her conclusion was merely that her personhood is an evolution. I wanted to know where she left things with her husband (social media says they are still married), how she recovered physically as a climber (unclear if she lost her sponsorships as many female athletes do when she had to reduce her climbing), and the direction her nonprofit is headed (she suggests a few pivot points as the organization grows without much detail). I didn't gain any insight into how a marriage can heal, the difficulty of resuming a professional athletic career post-partum, or telework as a means of professional connection during early motherhood and the pandemic.
I can appreciate these weren't focal points of the book, but I would have felt more rewarded with some larger context. I'm also a wife and athlete and have spent significant time working in southern Africa, so I'm curious about her takeaways as to what's possible in those roles after almost six years of reflection. So while I enjoyed the journey, a peak at the destination would have been welcome.
April 16, 2023
This one raged through me like a forest fire. Two days. Couldn’t pull myself away. Majka Burhardt is officially the first person to render early motherhood in a way that matched the intensity I felt at that time. Not only the ins and outs of being responsible for the life of a little external person, but also feeling suddenly wrenched from one’s own identity. Violently. Irrevocably. Piteously. And discovering what it means to grow into the vast new space of parenthood—mourning and grieving what’s gone, but also digging deep and finding that magical, womanly ability to celebrate the growth, learning from failure. As a climber, I found this book especially meaningful. I’m grateful Majka is modeling both honesty and an adventurous, humble approach to parenthood that women like me need(ed).
It’s important to note that I’m not sure who needs to read this more: The climbers who plan to set out on a motherhood quest, or their (male) partners. The latter would benefit hugely from the opportunity to build empathy by experiencing the pain, loss, confusion, distress, worry, and rage within this narrative… But I suspect they won’t pick it up. And so the journey Majka took, and all the epiphanies she had about gender roles, invisible labor, mother-child connections, etc., along the way will remain in the realm of women. That said, it’s just as powerful for moms-to-be to know what’s possibly coming AND to see it span the first five years of a child’s life… to understand that any day is just a day, and it does in fact get both easier and better after a while.
Brilliant.
It’s important to note that I’m not sure who needs to read this more: The climbers who plan to set out on a motherhood quest, or their (male) partners. The latter would benefit hugely from the opportunity to build empathy by experiencing the pain, loss, confusion, distress, worry, and rage within this narrative… But I suspect they won’t pick it up. And so the journey Majka took, and all the epiphanies she had about gender roles, invisible labor, mother-child connections, etc., along the way will remain in the realm of women. That said, it’s just as powerful for moms-to-be to know what’s possibly coming AND to see it span the first five years of a child’s life… to understand that any day is just a day, and it does in fact get both easier and better after a while.
Brilliant.
May 16, 2023
This book was not for me. But I am also a bit at a loss at how others enjoyed it honestly. I read reviews and just felt it should have been WAY better. Instead I just read a journal of someone who I did not connect with by anything other than the small snippets that pregnancies and deliveries are tough, being a mom is super tough and dealing with marriage to balance different roles, resentment, growing personalities is tough.. parenthood is tough. And her overpowering love for her babies and her conclusion that we all are constantly evolving through the whole experience. These things we can agree on. But all the rest of it was just not my kind of book and I would have ended it after the first 1/4 of the book except I struggle not finishing books I pick up and put time into. I could have gotten all that from a podcast or talking with women I admire and not entries of 6 years of a random person's life.
Why is it 3 stars? Because I appreciate realness. I appreciate the journey motherhood is and finding yourself among the mother cap we wear. Because climbing is a cool sport. And because I just feel generous right now though I would not recommend this book to others. We live in a world where connection to other mothers may not be as hard as it once was-so maybe that is why some loved this book was because they were needing that connection. I personally find way better connection from real people and come away feeling empowered and seen. This did neither of those for me.
Why is it 3 stars? Because I appreciate realness. I appreciate the journey motherhood is and finding yourself among the mother cap we wear. Because climbing is a cool sport. And because I just feel generous right now though I would not recommend this book to others. We live in a world where connection to other mothers may not be as hard as it once was-so maybe that is why some loved this book was because they were needing that connection. I personally find way better connection from real people and come away feeling empowered and seen. This did neither of those for me.
May 8, 2025
This is not a perfect book. It is sometimes repetitive. The author is not a perfectly reliable or objective narrator (which was her intent; the journal entries are raw and in-the-moment, not necessarily reflective of the overall situation). Sometimes she is contradictory.
HOWEVER, I think it is a truly tremendous and honest account of her experience juggling her version of motherhood, her relationship with her partner and her family, her desire for adventure, and her passion for her career. I couldn't put it down.
HOWEVER, I think it is a truly tremendous and honest account of her experience juggling her version of motherhood, her relationship with her partner and her family, her desire for adventure, and her passion for her career. I couldn't put it down.
April 9, 2025
Audio is the only way to go in my opinion. The cracking and emotion of her voice at certain moments gives witness to what she is really saying with her words. I adored the excerpt of her actual voice memos at the end of the book. That was such a heartwarming peek into what writing this book (and really her life) actually looked like.
I love her concept of writing her story in real time to create a time capsule of sorts for her children to come back to when they need to know what their mom was like at 40 or as a new mom. What I would give to have this from my own mother and mother-in-law!
She explores feelings of loneliness in marriage and motherhood. She explores losing and finding herself. Juggling work and family and mental load of life. Personal and couples therapy. The ups and downs of her personal relationships. There is so much for the heart and mind to wrestle with in this book.
I like her concept of not going back to herself because she can only go forward. I loved seeing the struggle and growth within her marriage.
It’s not all heavy and emotional all the time though. There are entries that are simply retellings of funny things her kids said. I love that she still had capacity to enjoy and capture those moments despite her struggle.
To consider when recommending: Mentions and brief description of rape and alcoholism are present. Swearing is present but not excessive for my taste.
I love her concept of writing her story in real time to create a time capsule of sorts for her children to come back to when they need to know what their mom was like at 40 or as a new mom. What I would give to have this from my own mother and mother-in-law!
She explores feelings of loneliness in marriage and motherhood. She explores losing and finding herself. Juggling work and family and mental load of life. Personal and couples therapy. The ups and downs of her personal relationships. There is so much for the heart and mind to wrestle with in this book.
I like her concept of not going back to herself because she can only go forward. I loved seeing the struggle and growth within her marriage.
It’s not all heavy and emotional all the time though. There are entries that are simply retellings of funny things her kids said. I love that she still had capacity to enjoy and capture those moments despite her struggle.
To consider when recommending: Mentions and brief description of rape and alcoholism are present. Swearing is present but not excessive for my taste.
June 27, 2023
This book just felt too honest and too intimate. She says several times that the book is for her children, and it felt like it should’ve stayed for just her children. I found it very repetitive and just kind of sad. I would have liked to hear more about her experience as a pro climber.
November 6, 2023
White middle-class rock climber has twins. Discovers the (un)hidden depths of misogyny and sexism in our society and in her husband. Talks a lot about it; does nothing.
January 21, 2025
This is such a hard book to review. Almost everything about it resonated with me but I also had a difficult time getting through it. I love that we’re getting more and more writing about how hard the transition to motherhood can be and how so many of us want to do it all (and more) and struggle to figure out how. But all of that in journal form felt a little too stream of consciousness for me and I feel like I wanted some takeaways or reflections on all those thoughts. This was a very interesting look into motherhood for professional athletes—a whole different kind of working mom—and I love hearing how all kinds of moms make it work.
March 29, 2025
3.5 stars. Many parts of this book resonated with me and many parts did not. She captures well the raw mess of new motherhood: joy, pain, and feeling lost while simultaneously feeling like you’re finding a little more of yourself each day.
May 15, 2023
Not for me
March 25, 2023
I really felt this book spoke to my soul as an ambitious and outdoorsy mother. I couldn't put it down and read it in less than a week (very unusual for me these days). I found my own thoughts put into words and on paper in an eloquent way and it helped me think through some of the thoughts & emotions I've had since becoming a mom. It helped me feel validated in a lot of ways too. This book has inspired me to keep up with my journaling, which I haven't done consistently since becoming a mom. The author writes about how she wishes she could find out how her mom was feeling during similar situations and I always wonder the same. These thoughts and feelings during this time are so valuable and I will want to come back to them later in life and maybe my kids will too.
May 25, 2023
Certainly hit hard with the unique yet always changing experience motherhood is. She spells it out with brutal honesty with thoughts many of us are too scared to admit to. I think she really could have helped herself out more by expressing as effectively as she does in this book with her actual people around her though, and that just annoyed me to no end. Sure, she's struggling and blaming the weight of caregiving on her shoulders, feeling bitter against her husband and others. Her relationships beyond with her mom and sister are kind of strangely intertwined here, maybe not clearly enough. Seems thrown in for garnering sympathy... maybe? Idk I feel like a jerk saying that.
August 4, 2023
3.5 stars, rounded up. I think for me this book was super inspiring as a mama/entrepreneur/hobby climber. I loved her rawness and spelling out her experience in a way that I believe most people wouldn’t admit. She states that this book was primarily written for her kids, so with that in mind I was a bit more generous with the rating, trying to take it for what it was.
I would’ve loved to read more of her process/progress of re-entering the pro-climbing world and how she dealt with the pull of training/motherhood. Overall, a really beautiful read from a really incredible mama and athlete.
I would’ve loved to read more of her process/progress of re-entering the pro-climbing world and how she dealt with the pull of training/motherhood. Overall, a really beautiful read from a really incredible mama and athlete.
July 19, 2025
I needed the first 1/4 of this book. The rest made me feel exhausted and hopeless. I just got back from my first overnight camping trip with my 9 month old and while I think that exhaustion is just real I feel like there is something missing. Anybody want to write a book for the outdoorsy risk taking hardworking mommas who just don't know how to balance it all but want to believe that the first five years of parenting can and are filled with joy and the work and parenting combo can also be beautiful? it's in there Majka. I want more!
January 29, 2024
Raw and intense portrayal of early motherhood. You don’t have to be a climber or outdoorsy person to relate to all of the emotions. I would recommend to any parent, but moms specifically. I commend the author for putting this out in the world; it must have been incredibly difficult to relive all of those in-the-moment feelings.
May 10, 2024
"Thank you for becoming you, so I could become me." Beautiful book to finish on mother's day weekend. Excellent depiction of the spectrum of changes motherhood brings, especially in a marriage.
Read
August 22, 2024Shelving DNF this is just all stressful and not the motherhood/pro athlete story I was looking for and not in the mood for “woman grows resentful of her clueless husband” right now
March 30, 2025
This book was so vulnerable, raw, emotional and real. I praise Majka for having the courage to dictate some of the hard and scary feelings of motherhood. I resonated with a lot of what she said, and loved how I got even more emotion out of her reading the audiobook. Great read!
October 17, 2023
The best book I've read on becoming a mother. I felt seen and less "crazy" because so many of Majka's words were near-verbatim thoughts that I've had myself since becoming a parent. Her writing/voice notes are also so beautifully constructed. Highly recommend for anyone, regardless of having children.
April 16, 2023
“My mom had a choice… but she also didn’t. She was already on a path toward success; her ambition set her apart. The more self-aware, more difficult choice would have been to step away from that path. You get knocked down—literally—then you get up.’
“You add more.”
I admire Majka Burkhardt’s honesty in sharing the postpartum life from the trenches… as a former competitive marathoner, I sometimes feel like I had to give up more than the average mom transitioning into motherhood. Since running is such a physical pursuit, requiring your time and your body, it’s simply impossible to do it the way I did it before kids… at least so far (3 years in for me, 2 kids). But Majka feels this stress too and asks similar questions that I’ve had—
- how many choices have we made just because they were the hard or impressive thing to do?
- how much time is “enough” to be with kids?
- how much does life need to shift from before-kids to after?
- why don’t dads ask these questions?
Some of the other reviews have mentioned a lack of conclusion or lesson here. It frustrates me too, and I wish there was an easy answer for how to live—as athletes, moms, employees, and partners. But I don’t think there is one. It’s ultimately about getting comfortable in that uncertainty, which can also be freeing.
I love her conclusion—“I almost didn’t have [kids] because I couldn’t find any other couple or parents I wanted to emulate,” Burkhardt writes. “Now I know I have to become that parent myself. And I am not scared of it anymore.”
“You add more.”
I admire Majka Burkhardt’s honesty in sharing the postpartum life from the trenches… as a former competitive marathoner, I sometimes feel like I had to give up more than the average mom transitioning into motherhood. Since running is such a physical pursuit, requiring your time and your body, it’s simply impossible to do it the way I did it before kids… at least so far (3 years in for me, 2 kids). But Majka feels this stress too and asks similar questions that I’ve had—
- how many choices have we made just because they were the hard or impressive thing to do?
- how much time is “enough” to be with kids?
- how much does life need to shift from before-kids to after?
- why don’t dads ask these questions?
Some of the other reviews have mentioned a lack of conclusion or lesson here. It frustrates me too, and I wish there was an easy answer for how to live—as athletes, moms, employees, and partners. But I don’t think there is one. It’s ultimately about getting comfortable in that uncertainty, which can also be freeing.
I love her conclusion—“I almost didn’t have [kids] because I couldn’t find any other couple or parents I wanted to emulate,” Burkhardt writes. “Now I know I have to become that parent myself. And I am not scared of it anymore.”
Read
July 15, 2023This was one of my favorites so far this year. I was, and still am, looking for these honest and raw accounts of parenthood + other life. Yes, she is intense, which made it more fascinating to me.
June 10, 2024
This is a raw book written through personal journal entries gathered by the author through her pregnancy and the first five years after their birth. In her entries, Burhardt struggles with her competing desires to be a very present and involved mom with her desire for the freedom to climb and pursue projects that she used to have before having babies. I think a lot of moms who have a career and a family can relate to Burhardt's conflicted feelings about her own choices and her resentment of her husband during this time. My one complaint about the book is that it returns to the same themes over and over again so I found myself skimming some entries. It does get repetitive. Also, her precious memories of her children are her memories and not necessarily universally relatable. However, what a wonderful gift she has for herself and her children to remember that time in their lives. I'm just not sure it needed a wider audience. Her likely readers probably are already very familiar with the struggles she portrays here.
July 2, 2023
Round up to 2.5 - way too long. A raw account of the first year with twins, lots of focus on BF and spousal resentment, hard to sit with for so many pages.
February 19, 2025
In More: Life on the Edge of Adventure and Motherhood, professional climber Majka Burhardt gives a no-holds-barred glimpse into her experience as a new mother of twins.
Throughout the memoir, Burhardt struggles with her desire for MORE in all areas of her life... more climbing, more professional opportunities, more time with her children, and more from her husband. Shared via a collection of achingly raw letters and journal entries, Burhardt explores the classic postpartum struggle to find harmony between who she was and who she is becoming. Many sections are beautiful and heart-wrenchingly relatable for any new mother but, as a climber, I also deeply appreciated Burhardt's transparency in both grieving her "before" self and accepting that sometimes the risks and sacrifices were no longer worth the rewards.
During the second half of this novel, as her twins become toddlers and her simmering resentment gives way to a firey rage, Burhardt begins to dig deeper into her own childhood in hopes of finding a path forward. This is where More started to lose me. I respect that I will never understand Burhardt's experience growing up but, I struggled with the lack of empathy she extended to her mother in particular. (Especially after somewhat callously exposing her mother's own traumas.) I also wanted to scream at Burhardt to *go talk to your husband.*
Parenthood is tough, and I would never suggest that anyone hold back or sugarcoat their own memoir. However, I think I wanted MORE of a conclusion, maybe some behind-the-scenes moments that helped repair the cracks she so vulnerably shares. Perhaps part of this is my own selfishly wondering how to more forward from the deep disconnection she felt... because at three months into my own parenthood journey I definitely don't have anything figured out.
Anyway... I don't know if she ever found harmony, but I do know she's still married, so I assume she had some hard convos with her husband eventually.
Throughout the memoir, Burhardt struggles with her desire for MORE in all areas of her life... more climbing, more professional opportunities, more time with her children, and more from her husband. Shared via a collection of achingly raw letters and journal entries, Burhardt explores the classic postpartum struggle to find harmony between who she was and who she is becoming. Many sections are beautiful and heart-wrenchingly relatable for any new mother but, as a climber, I also deeply appreciated Burhardt's transparency in both grieving her "before" self and accepting that sometimes the risks and sacrifices were no longer worth the rewards.
During the second half of this novel, as her twins become toddlers and her simmering resentment gives way to a firey rage, Burhardt begins to dig deeper into her own childhood in hopes of finding a path forward. This is where More started to lose me. I respect that I will never understand Burhardt's experience growing up but, I struggled with the lack of empathy she extended to her mother in particular. (Especially after somewhat callously exposing her mother's own traumas.) I also wanted to scream at Burhardt to *go talk to your husband.*
Parenthood is tough, and I would never suggest that anyone hold back or sugarcoat their own memoir. However, I think I wanted MORE of a conclusion, maybe some behind-the-scenes moments that helped repair the cracks she so vulnerably shares. Perhaps part of this is my own selfishly wondering how to more forward from the deep disconnection she felt... because at three months into my own parenthood journey I definitely don't have anything figured out.
Anyway... I don't know if she ever found harmony, but I do know she's still married, so I assume she had some hard convos with her husband eventually.
April 28, 2023
This is an unusual book that may not be for everyone. It reminds me of how I feel about certain messy, imperfect TV shows - like Vida or Orphan Black - in that there are some sort of clear structural flaws to the work but there is also a boldness and an unvarnished quality that can be really gripping and moving and that expands my sense of what is possible in the medium.
What happens here is that the narrative is entirely advanced through original material - diary entries and transcribed voice memos. Since the book deals in pregnancy and postpartum and twin toddlerhood, these memos contain a lot the kind of stuff I find I just very readily forgot about those times. The actual experience of sleep deprivation. Hating your partner intensely. Truly loving and cherishing breastfeeding. Casting yourself forward in grandiose ways when you get pregnant or birth your babies. Grappling day in and day out with the identity shifts and losses of new parenthood.
The downside of this approach is that the narrator is never really contextualized or fleshed out as a character… and neither is her husband or anyone else that passes through the diaries. She frets a lot about her work life changing, but we never had the explanation about what her work life means to her or how she shaped her career. Likewise with her relationship with her husband.
I found this to be an extremely gripping page turner that I tore through in late night sessions because I couldn’t put it down. I’m not sure it would be that for everyone to the same extent it was for me, because I went through some of the same experiences of being pregnant with and then breastfeeding and raising twins. But I think it would resonate with a lot of new parents. This book is a fearless and generous offering.
What happens here is that the narrative is entirely advanced through original material - diary entries and transcribed voice memos. Since the book deals in pregnancy and postpartum and twin toddlerhood, these memos contain a lot the kind of stuff I find I just very readily forgot about those times. The actual experience of sleep deprivation. Hating your partner intensely. Truly loving and cherishing breastfeeding. Casting yourself forward in grandiose ways when you get pregnant or birth your babies. Grappling day in and day out with the identity shifts and losses of new parenthood.
The downside of this approach is that the narrator is never really contextualized or fleshed out as a character… and neither is her husband or anyone else that passes through the diaries. She frets a lot about her work life changing, but we never had the explanation about what her work life means to her or how she shaped her career. Likewise with her relationship with her husband.
I found this to be an extremely gripping page turner that I tore through in late night sessions because I couldn’t put it down. I’m not sure it would be that for everyone to the same extent it was for me, because I went through some of the same experiences of being pregnant with and then breastfeeding and raising twins. But I think it would resonate with a lot of new parents. This book is a fearless and generous offering.
August 28, 2024
I found this book via the Parent Data podcast around 7 months postpartum from my cesarean delivery of my daughter. A dear friend had also just delivered her twins (via cesarean) and I wanted to get a better understanding of what she might be going through as a twin mom.
While I appreciate the author’s rawness, I found myself SO upset by this book time and time again. While I appreciate that this is the author’s story and her narrative — as someone who supports NGOs and does aid work, the whole book felt so tone deaf and awful. Complaining that she has childcare, complaining that she has her own non profit, complaining because she can climb, can’t climb, maybe doesn’t want to climb, complaining about nursing, so much complaining and SO little about her children, what they are like, who they are (I only made it to 18 months so perhaps this changes?). If I were her kids I’d feel really disappointed reading this book, there is so little about her children and their lives. I finally had to quit this book when she claimed that she didn’t give birth to her children because she delivered via cesarean and thus felt she HAD to nurse for 4 years (?) — there are many people out there who would give anything to hold living babies in their arms and anything to be able to nurse them at all — it felt like she was suggesting that birthing people who have surgical births and don’t breastfeed aren’t biological parents and it’s this sort of rhetoric that harms birthing people and holds them back.
I would seriously warn anyone who is postpartum or pregnant to take a lot of care and caution before reading this book. Be kind to yourself.
While I appreciate the author’s rawness, I found myself SO upset by this book time and time again. While I appreciate that this is the author’s story and her narrative — as someone who supports NGOs and does aid work, the whole book felt so tone deaf and awful. Complaining that she has childcare, complaining that she has her own non profit, complaining because she can climb, can’t climb, maybe doesn’t want to climb, complaining about nursing, so much complaining and SO little about her children, what they are like, who they are (I only made it to 18 months so perhaps this changes?). If I were her kids I’d feel really disappointed reading this book, there is so little about her children and their lives. I finally had to quit this book when she claimed that she didn’t give birth to her children because she delivered via cesarean and thus felt she HAD to nurse for 4 years (?) — there are many people out there who would give anything to hold living babies in their arms and anything to be able to nurse them at all — it felt like she was suggesting that birthing people who have surgical births and don’t breastfeed aren’t biological parents and it’s this sort of rhetoric that harms birthing people and holds them back.
I would seriously warn anyone who is postpartum or pregnant to take a lot of care and caution before reading this book. Be kind to yourself.
June 14, 2023
As a first time mom of an almost 2 year old, hobby climber and outdoor enthusiast, working professional, and wife, this book felt like an automatic pick-up. I gave it four stars because of the rawness and vulnerability that the author showed, but there were still quite a few challenging elements to the book.
To start, there is a heavy emphasis on breastfeeding and the connection with which the author felt that breastfeeding gave her to her children. As a mom of a preemie who was bottle feeding from the get go and didn’t have that same level of contact, I found the rhapsodizing somewhat triggering. Additionally, I found the author was very repetitive in her grievances and I struggled with the whiplash of her emotions between not wanting to physically extricate herself from her children, and feeling resentment toward her husband for not being the same. And finally, there is a whole new storyline of sorts related to her mother that’s introduced in the back half of the book that felt almost shoe-horned in.
Overall, the book makes some very poignant observations about the messiness of new parenthood, which is validating and refreshing to read. But sometimes the grievances became too exhausting to wade through and the storytelling itself went a little off kilter. There are nuggets of wisdom throughout though, and I wouldn’t necessarily tell others in similar stages of life not to pick this one up.
To start, there is a heavy emphasis on breastfeeding and the connection with which the author felt that breastfeeding gave her to her children. As a mom of a preemie who was bottle feeding from the get go and didn’t have that same level of contact, I found the rhapsodizing somewhat triggering. Additionally, I found the author was very repetitive in her grievances and I struggled with the whiplash of her emotions between not wanting to physically extricate herself from her children, and feeling resentment toward her husband for not being the same. And finally, there is a whole new storyline of sorts related to her mother that’s introduced in the back half of the book that felt almost shoe-horned in.
Overall, the book makes some very poignant observations about the messiness of new parenthood, which is validating and refreshing to read. But sometimes the grievances became too exhausting to wade through and the storytelling itself went a little off kilter. There are nuggets of wisdom throughout though, and I wouldn’t necessarily tell others in similar stages of life not to pick this one up.
November 30, 2024
As a hobby climber, a fan of outdoors adventures ans a mom of small kids I wanted to read it. While it's not nobel-prize kind of literature I found it enjoyable from the start, a lot I can relate to, and some bits that I can't relate at all to and that were bothering more and more as the book went on.
Maybe it's because myself I gave in and I'm all available to the kids. The best adventures are those we have together as a family. It's a bit hard for me to empathise with the job vs kids struggles. Maybe I have it easier because of where I am and how our life is setup, regular carreers, outdoora for fun. I do have it easier, I know. But there is one bit that disturbed me most as a mom, the weird sleep training (maybe a US thing) that became more and more wicked as the book went on. I can imagine that in the whole chaos Majka is in, it can be hard with a good judgment. But it's just too much for me to take in, a loving mom, putting herself and her kids in some kind of horror "so we all can sleep better". Why, Majka? "Mommy , please hold my hand". "Mommy, please help". "Mommy please sleep with me"...the kids wailing, while the mom is sitting in their room on a chair without helping them, for hours in a row. Sleep training. I can't even read past that place anymore, but I also need to see if there was some closure, some healing for everyone from that.
Maybe it's because myself I gave in and I'm all available to the kids. The best adventures are those we have together as a family. It's a bit hard for me to empathise with the job vs kids struggles. Maybe I have it easier because of where I am and how our life is setup, regular carreers, outdoora for fun. I do have it easier, I know. But there is one bit that disturbed me most as a mom, the weird sleep training (maybe a US thing) that became more and more wicked as the book went on. I can imagine that in the whole chaos Majka is in, it can be hard with a good judgment. But it's just too much for me to take in, a loving mom, putting herself and her kids in some kind of horror "so we all can sleep better". Why, Majka? "Mommy , please hold my hand". "Mommy, please help". "Mommy please sleep with me"...the kids wailing, while the mom is sitting in their room on a chair without helping them, for hours in a row. Sleep training. I can't even read past that place anymore, but I also need to see if there was some closure, some healing for everyone from that.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 4, 2025
This book started off great. Majka is a very unique person: she’s a professional (sponsored) ice climber, married to another ice climber and guide. The story of her becoming a mother and how that intersected with her unusually physical and risky career was very interesting; I especially appreciated how she wrote about the resentment of her partner staying the same while she changed so profoundly. Also, what a gorgeous cover.
But once the babies are born, this book gets incredibly boring. There is endless questioning in whether she’s a good enough mom, resentment toward being the primary caregiver, work-life balance, many, many pages on the decision to wean her toddlers. In other words: a book you could read from anyone, and she doesn’t write about those universal experiences in a particularly interesting way. One of my biggest pet peeves is the number of question marks in this book. She’s constantly asking if things are some kind of way and never seeming to try to answer any of those questions.
This book shines when it touches on the unique aspects of her story and falls flat when she writes about the more normal days of motherhood. But of course, most of motherhood, even for ice climbers, is normal. So most of this book was tedious.
I do want her mom to write a memoir, though. I’d read that.
But once the babies are born, this book gets incredibly boring. There is endless questioning in whether she’s a good enough mom, resentment toward being the primary caregiver, work-life balance, many, many pages on the decision to wean her toddlers. In other words: a book you could read from anyone, and she doesn’t write about those universal experiences in a particularly interesting way. One of my biggest pet peeves is the number of question marks in this book. She’s constantly asking if things are some kind of way and never seeming to try to answer any of those questions.
This book shines when it touches on the unique aspects of her story and falls flat when she writes about the more normal days of motherhood. But of course, most of motherhood, even for ice climbers, is normal. So most of this book was tedious.
I do want her mom to write a memoir, though. I’d read that.
September 15, 2023
This is not an easy read. Most parents intentionally or subconsciously forget the most painful and enraging parts of early parenthood - so the decision to record in some cases almost daily the feelings of new parenthood (of twins) while pushing forward on a freelance type career in the outdoor world, with a partner who isn't fully engaged in parenthood is a LOT to process and deal with. That being said, if you are considering parenthood without both fully committing to the shared care of the infant(s) this would be a good read to prepare for the very common feelings of anger and love and overwhelming daily responsibilities that can drive some couples apart. It's also worth noting that YMMV: for example, Burhardt adores and connects deeply with her children over breastfeeding and has a truly enviable supply. Others may find they have a great division of labor at home, but breastfeeding doesn't work out, or some other trade-off. Still a good read for the warts-and-all perspective of early parenthood, with a healthy dose of the world of being a professional mountain climber in the midst of it all.
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