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Maybe Swearing Will Help: Relax and Curse Your Ass Off in Cross-Stitch
The idiots got you down? Get a needle and thread and stab your stress away with this collection of wash-your-mouth-out-with-soap cross-stitch patterns. Cursing a blue streak has never been so satisfying!
There are times when just hollering obscenities won’t do—you need to stab something. Now you can do both. Maybe Swearing Will Help combines two of the best stress-relievers—cursing, and cross stitch—into one of the most irreverently enjoyable crafting experiences you’ll ever have.
With 25 patterns from the crafting world’s most bad-ass cross-stitch designers, this book has everything from a modern take on the traditional sampler to retro comic book designs, all with snarky to downright foul-mouthed phrases. It is definitely not your grandmother’s cross stitch!
No previous experience is required. In addition to simple instructions and clear, easy-to-follow patterns, the book includes a guide to basic lesson in cross-stitch techniques, so anyone can start swearin’ and stabbin’ right away.
Whether you want the world to know that they need to wash their damn hands or you want to stitch a gift for your favorite potty mouth, Maybe Swearing Will Help has just what you need to find your way to inner f*cking peace.
SWEARING AND STABBING : Get out your aggressions with a easy-to-make foul-mouth cross-stitch projects
25 PATTERNS : Choose from dozens of designs to send just the right message, from Bollocks to F*ck It
FOR EVERY SKILL LEVEL : From beginning potty-mouths to expletive experts, Maybe Swearing Will Help includes complete patterns, step–by-step instructions, and a guide to cross-stitch basics
TOP DESIGNERS : Patterns created by more than a dozen of the f*cking best-selling cross-stitch designers and influencers on Etsy
INSPIRING IMAGES : Full-color images of the finished projects help ensure success and offer ideas of how to frame and display your beautiful damned artwork
There are times when just hollering obscenities won’t do—you need to stab something. Now you can do both. Maybe Swearing Will Help combines two of the best stress-relievers—cursing, and cross stitch—into one of the most irreverently enjoyable crafting experiences you’ll ever have.
With 25 patterns from the crafting world’s most bad-ass cross-stitch designers, this book has everything from a modern take on the traditional sampler to retro comic book designs, all with snarky to downright foul-mouthed phrases. It is definitely not your grandmother’s cross stitch!
No previous experience is required. In addition to simple instructions and clear, easy-to-follow patterns, the book includes a guide to basic lesson in cross-stitch techniques, so anyone can start swearin’ and stabbin’ right away.
Whether you want the world to know that they need to wash their damn hands or you want to stitch a gift for your favorite potty mouth, Maybe Swearing Will Help has just what you need to find your way to inner f*cking peace.
SWEARING AND STABBING : Get out your aggressions with a easy-to-make foul-mouth cross-stitch projects
25 PATTERNS : Choose from dozens of designs to send just the right message, from Bollocks to F*ck It
FOR EVERY SKILL LEVEL : From beginning potty-mouths to expletive experts, Maybe Swearing Will Help includes complete patterns, step–by-step instructions, and a guide to cross-stitch basics
TOP DESIGNERS : Patterns created by more than a dozen of the f*cking best-selling cross-stitch designers and influencers on Etsy
INSPIRING IMAGES : Full-color images of the finished projects help ensure success and offer ideas of how to frame and display your beautiful damned artwork
- GenresNonfictionCrafts
128 pages, Hardcover
Published March 7, 2023
60 people want to read
About the author
Weldon Owen
309 books52 followersWeldon Owen is an imprint of Insight Editions, a publisher of illustrated books on food & drink, photography, music, and popular culture. Elegant and informative, Weldon Owen titles showcase the best of art, photography, and design in exquisite presentations of the bookmaker's craft. They are located in San Rafael, CA.
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Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews
December 9, 2022
I just received my ARC today & am so excited to do the items in this book & give them away to all my friends! I'm just a few pages in & am laughing at the sayings & impressed with the patterns. They're going to be fun to do & give away as gifts! This is a fun book to have & to gift to a crafty friend or a friend who wants to be a crafty friend.
*received thru PW Grab A Galley
*received thru PW Grab A Galley
March 9, 2023
Back when I was a lass, sometime between fifth and eighth grades, cross-stitch became A Thing at my school. I lusted after the beautiful kits some of the other girls had, and remember in particular running my hand longingly over a sampler kit of yellow roses at a notions store. I'm not sure if my parents ever gave in and let me buy any of them, tho I do distinctly remember miscounting the interior bit on some red roses at some point while working on a cross-stitched piece of my own. I agonized over my mistake -- mostly because I didn't have a lot of thread to fix it with -- before realizing that no one could really tell unless they were looking hard for something to criticize.
Going to boarding school cut short my opportunities for working in smaller fiber arts, tho I do remember having an art project with either a loom or similar wooden frame that smacked me in the face after I accidentally knocked it over one night during one of the rural school's periodic blackouts. I only got back to crafting for myself about a decade later, taking up knitting in an effort to occupy my restless hands. More recently, the pandemic had me and countless others looking into even more crafty pursuits.
So when I got the opportunity to review this book, I absolutely leapt at the chance to take up my old hobby as part of properly evaluating it. The focus of the book -- swearing -- isn't going to be for everyone, tho is definitely part of the irreverent aesthetic that began taking hold in mainstream fiber arts around the turn of the century. I, for one, welcome more books like this. As a grown-up, my tastes have definitely changed from the staid romanticism of my tween years. 'Pretty' just doesn't cut it any more for me, especially given how easily this craft in particular lends itself to making statements. I knit in order to keep my hands busy while my brain is otherwise occupied -- I've been working on a Perpetual Blanket for years now -- and I draw/color/paint mostly to illustrate a text or a place. Cross-stitch, on the other hand, is the place I can lean in to being, well, cross. The patterns here encourage that, allowing needleworkers to let go of negative emotions while still honoring them as valid. It's also gratifying to know that people like the esteemed Dame Judi Dench, in addition to the 13 designers and teams who dreamed up the 24 patterns plus alphabets in this hilarious and extremely helpful book, enjoy a saucy take on the hobby too.
Geared towards beginners, Maybe Swearing Will Help is a delightfully potty-mouthed introduction to cross-stitch for adults who enjoy a little profanity. Illustrated in full color, it starts with an introductory overview of cursing in cross-stitch, before getting into practical advice for starting the hobby. As someone who hasn't stitched in ages, this was a helpful refresher on the basics. The book is also very reassuring about making your own choices and mistakes, with helpful tips on what to do with your pieces during and after the creative process.
I decided to try out the What The Actual Fuck pattern by Happy Sloth (and ordered enough material to also try Oh Hell No by Grandma Girl Design.) Besides my fondness for the Roy Lichtenstein-inspired design, I figured working in a single color -- black -- would make this a fast and easy project for me. I started in January and, um, still haven't finished it yet, lol. Granted, I haven't had the most time to work on it. Cross-stitch is a craft that requires both tactile and visual attention, unlike knitting which I can do while reading or watching sports. That makes cross-stitch great for getting me to slow down and focus on conversations and other aural input. Unfortunately, that isn't something I have the most time for given my busy, multi-tasking schedule!
I was also super rusty to start, not understanding AIDA/counts and having a really tough time centering the project, as you can tell from the photo I snapped (at TheFrumiousConsortium.net) once I was eight hours in. Yes, it took me eight hours to stitch a simple border and two words, tho in fairness, there was a lot of ripping done before even getting to that part. I did feel quite accomplished, and was almost tempted to stop at that point as it was already a minimalist masterpiece.
But of course I pressed on, and this book was super lovely in helping. The finished projects are beautifully showcased but what I really appreciated were the clearly marked counted cross-stitch patterns, with repeat sections included for those working from a physical copy of the book, where the patterns spread out over two pages (I have an electronic ARC, so was impressed by how well the patterns print out too, making my work that much more portable.) The only thing I wish this book had, as most other crafting books do, is a suggested difficulty level for each piece. They're not arranged in any seeming order, and while some projects definitely look more difficult than others, I'm not sure whether I was right in assuming that this was the best place for me to start. It was definitely the cheapest tho, with only three skeins of one color floss to purchase!
I'll keep going with this project, tho I've definitely messed it up already and am too lazy to do any more ripping. Hopefully, my poor cross-stitched lady won't look too gaunt with her accidentally shifted features. I will post an update here when I complete the project, whenever that is!
Overall, this is a terrific book for encouraging grown-ups to get into needlecraft, with easy to follow patterns, clear instructions and tips, and a relaxed attitude about what should ultimately be a relaxing time. There's also a nice section in the back on the pattern authors and their other pursuits, which helps point the way for stitchers who want to know/do more once they're done with this excellent book.
Maybe Swearing Will Help: Relax And Curse Your Ass Off In Cross-Stitch by Weldon Owen Publishing was published March 7 2023 and is available from all good booksellers, including Bookshop!
Going to boarding school cut short my opportunities for working in smaller fiber arts, tho I do remember having an art project with either a loom or similar wooden frame that smacked me in the face after I accidentally knocked it over one night during one of the rural school's periodic blackouts. I only got back to crafting for myself about a decade later, taking up knitting in an effort to occupy my restless hands. More recently, the pandemic had me and countless others looking into even more crafty pursuits.
So when I got the opportunity to review this book, I absolutely leapt at the chance to take up my old hobby as part of properly evaluating it. The focus of the book -- swearing -- isn't going to be for everyone, tho is definitely part of the irreverent aesthetic that began taking hold in mainstream fiber arts around the turn of the century. I, for one, welcome more books like this. As a grown-up, my tastes have definitely changed from the staid romanticism of my tween years. 'Pretty' just doesn't cut it any more for me, especially given how easily this craft in particular lends itself to making statements. I knit in order to keep my hands busy while my brain is otherwise occupied -- I've been working on a Perpetual Blanket for years now -- and I draw/color/paint mostly to illustrate a text or a place. Cross-stitch, on the other hand, is the place I can lean in to being, well, cross. The patterns here encourage that, allowing needleworkers to let go of negative emotions while still honoring them as valid. It's also gratifying to know that people like the esteemed Dame Judi Dench, in addition to the 13 designers and teams who dreamed up the 24 patterns plus alphabets in this hilarious and extremely helpful book, enjoy a saucy take on the hobby too.
Geared towards beginners, Maybe Swearing Will Help is a delightfully potty-mouthed introduction to cross-stitch for adults who enjoy a little profanity. Illustrated in full color, it starts with an introductory overview of cursing in cross-stitch, before getting into practical advice for starting the hobby. As someone who hasn't stitched in ages, this was a helpful refresher on the basics. The book is also very reassuring about making your own choices and mistakes, with helpful tips on what to do with your pieces during and after the creative process.
I decided to try out the What The Actual Fuck pattern by Happy Sloth (and ordered enough material to also try Oh Hell No by Grandma Girl Design.) Besides my fondness for the Roy Lichtenstein-inspired design, I figured working in a single color -- black -- would make this a fast and easy project for me. I started in January and, um, still haven't finished it yet, lol. Granted, I haven't had the most time to work on it. Cross-stitch is a craft that requires both tactile and visual attention, unlike knitting which I can do while reading or watching sports. That makes cross-stitch great for getting me to slow down and focus on conversations and other aural input. Unfortunately, that isn't something I have the most time for given my busy, multi-tasking schedule!
I was also super rusty to start, not understanding AIDA/counts and having a really tough time centering the project, as you can tell from the photo I snapped (at TheFrumiousConsortium.net) once I was eight hours in. Yes, it took me eight hours to stitch a simple border and two words, tho in fairness, there was a lot of ripping done before even getting to that part. I did feel quite accomplished, and was almost tempted to stop at that point as it was already a minimalist masterpiece.
But of course I pressed on, and this book was super lovely in helping. The finished projects are beautifully showcased but what I really appreciated were the clearly marked counted cross-stitch patterns, with repeat sections included for those working from a physical copy of the book, where the patterns spread out over two pages (I have an electronic ARC, so was impressed by how well the patterns print out too, making my work that much more portable.) The only thing I wish this book had, as most other crafting books do, is a suggested difficulty level for each piece. They're not arranged in any seeming order, and while some projects definitely look more difficult than others, I'm not sure whether I was right in assuming that this was the best place for me to start. It was definitely the cheapest tho, with only three skeins of one color floss to purchase!
I'll keep going with this project, tho I've definitely messed it up already and am too lazy to do any more ripping. Hopefully, my poor cross-stitched lady won't look too gaunt with her accidentally shifted features. I will post an update here when I complete the project, whenever that is!
Overall, this is a terrific book for encouraging grown-ups to get into needlecraft, with easy to follow patterns, clear instructions and tips, and a relaxed attitude about what should ultimately be a relaxing time. There's also a nice section in the back on the pattern authors and their other pursuits, which helps point the way for stitchers who want to know/do more once they're done with this excellent book.
Maybe Swearing Will Help: Relax And Curse Your Ass Off In Cross-Stitch by Weldon Owen Publishing was published March 7 2023 and is available from all good booksellers, including Bookshop!
March 7, 2023
To be clear, this is about stabbing fabric, not humans or animals. But it does involve swearing, so maybe that helps?
So if you are one of those people who has ever said, with great snark, “That would be lovely stitched on a decorative pillow,” about something mean someone else has said, then this is the book for you. Maybe Swearing Will Help includes 25 cross-stitch patterns from several experienced neddlecrafters with a sense of humor and an understanding of the type of language that at one time would have had adults threatening to wash their mouths our with soap.
There are some lovely sentiments, like “The High Road Sucks as I am Petty and Vindictive by Nature” or “Please Grant Me the Serenity to Resist Cutting a B** Today.” Others are simply “Shut Up” or an “I’ll Be Damned” or (for the Anglophiles) “Bollocks.” Incidentally, the designs do spell out all the words. I am not, as I doubt that this review will get posted online if I were spelling out the entire words. But do not fear, these crafters are completely forthcoming with all their swearing.
Never tried to cross-stitch? Not a problem. The book starts with a few pages giving you all the information you need to get started and offers more stitching tips and help along the way. Many of the patterns round out the design with flowers, tattoo art, decorative writing, or a cartoon cat holding guns. There are even a couple of alphabet patterns, so you can create your own saying for your cross-stitching art.
The 13 contributing artists are all listed at the back of the book, along with a short bio and where to find them on social media, so if you find some designs you like, you can find more of their work. But the designs in this book will offer you a great chance to get started, because who doesn’t need a beautiful handmade gift of a framed sampler that says, “Behold! The field in which I grow my f***s/Lay thine eyes upon it and see that it is barren”? Or if that’s not to your taste, perhaps you prefer a, “I wish I was a Unicorn so I could stab stupid people with my head.”
I learned to cross-stitch back when I was around 12. I haven’t done it in years, but these patterns are inspiring me to give it a try again. I love the colors and the modern take on classical designs. Some of these would make amazing gifts for friends, and I have my eye on other designs for myself (the cat with the guns and the “Pew Pew” is a big favorite). Cross-stitch is a pretty simple craft to learn, and once you get the basics, you can add on to these designs or create your own, so I think it’s an ideal craft for a book like this. It can open the door to a new generation of cross-stitchers, so I think it would be an amazing gift for anyone looking for a new hobby where you get to stab a piece of fabric over and over again.
Egalleys for Maybe Swearing Will Help: Relax and Curse Your A** Off in Cross-Stitch were provided by Insight Editions and Weldon Owen, with many thanks.
So if you are one of those people who has ever said, with great snark, “That would be lovely stitched on a decorative pillow,” about something mean someone else has said, then this is the book for you. Maybe Swearing Will Help includes 25 cross-stitch patterns from several experienced neddlecrafters with a sense of humor and an understanding of the type of language that at one time would have had adults threatening to wash their mouths our with soap.
There are some lovely sentiments, like “The High Road Sucks as I am Petty and Vindictive by Nature” or “Please Grant Me the Serenity to Resist Cutting a B** Today.” Others are simply “Shut Up” or an “I’ll Be Damned” or (for the Anglophiles) “Bollocks.” Incidentally, the designs do spell out all the words. I am not, as I doubt that this review will get posted online if I were spelling out the entire words. But do not fear, these crafters are completely forthcoming with all their swearing.
Never tried to cross-stitch? Not a problem. The book starts with a few pages giving you all the information you need to get started and offers more stitching tips and help along the way. Many of the patterns round out the design with flowers, tattoo art, decorative writing, or a cartoon cat holding guns. There are even a couple of alphabet patterns, so you can create your own saying for your cross-stitching art.
The 13 contributing artists are all listed at the back of the book, along with a short bio and where to find them on social media, so if you find some designs you like, you can find more of their work. But the designs in this book will offer you a great chance to get started, because who doesn’t need a beautiful handmade gift of a framed sampler that says, “Behold! The field in which I grow my f***s/Lay thine eyes upon it and see that it is barren”? Or if that’s not to your taste, perhaps you prefer a, “I wish I was a Unicorn so I could stab stupid people with my head.”
I learned to cross-stitch back when I was around 12. I haven’t done it in years, but these patterns are inspiring me to give it a try again. I love the colors and the modern take on classical designs. Some of these would make amazing gifts for friends, and I have my eye on other designs for myself (the cat with the guns and the “Pew Pew” is a big favorite). Cross-stitch is a pretty simple craft to learn, and once you get the basics, you can add on to these designs or create your own, so I think it’s an ideal craft for a book like this. It can open the door to a new generation of cross-stitchers, so I think it would be an amazing gift for anyone looking for a new hobby where you get to stab a piece of fabric over and over again.
Egalleys for Maybe Swearing Will Help: Relax and Curse Your A** Off in Cross-Stitch were provided by Insight Editions and Weldon Owen, with many thanks.
December 9, 2022
A great collection of sweary projects to work out your shitty day on, and then hang up for everyone to take note of. Hang them in your office if you dare. The projects have a wide range of styles so there's lots to choose from.
The instructions at the beginning of the book are really well-written so even someone new to cross stitch can learn how to make any of these projects. Each step is illustrated clearly. Individual projects also have advice on how best to tackle the project. The graphs of colors and placement are easy to read and are all in color.
While this book is all about swearing projects, and the text also has a bit of swearing in it, I was pleased to see that it isn't gratuitously used as some books do. (Looking at you Thug Kitchen--oh yeah--it's Bad Manners now.)
This book would make a perfect gift. And you just might get a finished cross stitch back in return.
I was given a galley by the publisher to review. The opinions here are my own.
The instructions at the beginning of the book are really well-written so even someone new to cross stitch can learn how to make any of these projects. Each step is illustrated clearly. Individual projects also have advice on how best to tackle the project. The graphs of colors and placement are easy to read and are all in color.
While this book is all about swearing projects, and the text also has a bit of swearing in it, I was pleased to see that it isn't gratuitously used as some books do. (Looking at you Thug Kitchen--oh yeah--it's Bad Manners now.)
This book would make a perfect gift. And you just might get a finished cross stitch back in return.
I was given a galley by the publisher to review. The opinions here are my own.
December 30, 2022
Feeling a little stabby after dealing with the real world? This is the book for you!
The book does a good job of explaining the technique, materials needed, and considerations when creating your sweary masterpieces. The prose itself keeps with the theme of the book in a humorous way. There's a variety of patterns, from easy to more advanced. I now have many fun new ideas for friend gifts. I even finished my first project, which did prove to be relaxing and fun. (Disclosure: I do have minimal past experience in cross-stitch and embroidery).
I received an ARC of this book. This did not influence my review in any way.
The book does a good job of explaining the technique, materials needed, and considerations when creating your sweary masterpieces. The prose itself keeps with the theme of the book in a humorous way. There's a variety of patterns, from easy to more advanced. I now have many fun new ideas for friend gifts. I even finished my first project, which did prove to be relaxing and fun. (Disclosure: I do have minimal past experience in cross-stitch and embroidery).
I received an ARC of this book. This did not influence my review in any way.
February 12, 2024
Basic Premise: Cross stitch patterns featuring snark and swearing.
Not for those offended by the F word, so I loved it. The patterns are actually from several different designers, so now I have a list of designers to hunt up and more patterns than I'll ever be able to complete in a lifetime. There are several that I think I've seen the sayings before, if not these actual patterns, and several that actually made me laugh out loud.
Not for those offended by the F word, so I loved it. The patterns are actually from several different designers, so now I have a list of designers to hunt up and more patterns than I'll ever be able to complete in a lifetime. There are several that I think I've seen the sayings before, if not these actual patterns, and several that actually made me laugh out loud.
June 2, 2023
This would be better as a larger format, soft cover book, as a lot of the patterns are spreading across two pages and the book doesn't lie flat when open. It also doesn't include the pattern on the design on the cover, which is frustrating. But a fun collection of patterns by names that many cross stitchers will be familiar with
September 21, 2023
Cathartic, in that even if you don’t cross stitch, seeing these humorous naughty works will bring you a giggle. Thanks, Weldon and your contributors, for doing the needlework that inspires all forms of creativity and made me laugh!
March 23, 2026
amazing!!!!!
I have gifts for days now. Family has already said that if they get these for Christmas, there will be clutched pearls and fainting. Maybe I should give pillows first for those that fall victim to gravity?
I have gifts for days now. Family has already said that if they get these for Christmas, there will be clutched pearls and fainting. Maybe I should give pillows first for those that fall victim to gravity?
March 23, 2023
If I were a cross-stitcher, I would make all of these.
Also, I would gift several of them to Kelly & Mitchell.
The one on page 78 would go to karen.
Also, I would gift several of them to Kelly & Mitchell.
The one on page 78 would go to karen.
April 3, 2023
Full of well designed patterns, but there’s only one or two I’d actually want to make.
June 3, 2023
Great patterns and nicely laid out with some great tips.
September 6, 2024
I wasn't sure I was going to like this collection of patterns but I was pleasantly surprised. I'm not sure I liked any of them enough to make them but they are definitely in consideration.
April 23, 2025
The projects are hilarious
June 30, 2025
my life motto
Displaying 1 - 15 of 15 reviews