Carrie Kills A Man

by Carrie Marshall

Carrie Kills A Man* is about growing up in a world that doesn’t want you, and about how it feels to throw a hand grenade into a perfect life. It’s the story of how a tattooed transgender rock singer killed a depressed suburban dad, and of the lessons you learn when you renounce all your privilege and power. When more people think they’ve seen a ghost than met a trans person, it’s easy for bad actors to exploit that – and they do, as you can see from the headlines and online. But here’s the reality, from someone who’s living it. From coming out and navigating trans parenthood to the thrills of gender-bending pop stars, fashion disasters and looking like Velma Dinkley, this is a tale of ripping it up and starting again: Carrie’s story in all its fearless, frank and funny glory. *“Spoiler: That man was me.” – Carrie

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Queer, LGBT

332 pages, Paperback

First published November 10, 2022

About the author

Hi there. My name used to be Gary: I'm Carrie now. I'm a freelance journalist, columnist, author, copywriter, scriptwriter and radio talking head, and I write features, news stories and tutorials about technology, the Internet and pop culture for lots of magazines and websites.

My debut novel Coffin Dodgers hit the Kindle in June 2011, and I've written lots of non-fiction books too.

Reviews

[Sophia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book 1 of the trans rights readathon!

Memoirs that make you laugh out loud AND cry >>>>>

This is a raw, emotional, heartwrenching, and very funny read. Carrie explores growing up trans and coming out later in life, showing the real impact of anti-trans rhetoric, both historic and current.

The organisation I'm raising money for with the trans rights readathon is Scottish Trans Alliance: if you would like to donate, you can do so here https://www.justgiving.com/page/sophi... 🏳️‍⚧️💗

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars rounded up. An interesting memoir about being trans and some funny titles. Can feel very insular (it’s a memoir I get it) but can be detrimental to the overall tale. At her best when she is sharp, scathing of the system, of the people of the energy or joyous, big emotions are what Carrie does best in this novel but often cuts off as it is getting good.

Would recommend to give to anyone who is unsure of what is happening in Scotland in regards to trans rights. Incredibly human story.

[Chloe · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this memoir profoundly moving. Tears for every reason imaginable. By the end I felt such joy and pride for Carrie (though I don’t know her, her words paint her life so vividly) tinged with such anger, frustration and sadness about the hostility trans people face in the world but especially the UK. This is the kind of raw and open memoir that I want to push into everyone’s hands. It is both a personal, deeply moving and life affirming story of one woman’s journey towards happiness and herself but also an accessible, heartfelt rallying cry for trans’ rights. Every page is beautifully written, empathetic and sensitive and I’m so glad to have read it.

[Kelly (kellyinbookland) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was originally recommended to me by my pal Lex when I was visiting argonaught books. She raved about it to me and said it was so up my street and would love it. I then went to paisley book festival and saw Carrie speak about the book and fell in love with her and how funny she was in person and not just on the page.

At the Paisley Book festival Carrie says she’s seen so many Trans books that are tragic stories about Transphobia and how tragic their stories are and she wanted to show how although her story has had a tough elements like they all do she wanted to show a middle class side of it and how the NHS process works and not all stories are that way or the same. I don’t think she gives herself enough credit for all she’s actually had to go through though and I cried at the treatment she had to go through to prove at times she is in-fact a women and to be able to access services in the NHS and life. Or all she had to overcome.

The one thing I really shines through in this book though was pure joy at the times when Carrie discovers who she is. I could actually feel it lift off the pages and the smile on my own face was there. I actually felt so good because she felt great. I wanted to fist bump the air that she felt herself and was beginning to feel good. It’s not a choice, it’s simply who she is as simple as breathing.

This book is a must read for everyone but especially for all the facts, figures and waiting times about Trans healthcare.

And lastly, the song choices were fabulous and I have really enjoyed the playlist I got to listen to along the way.

This is a book that will be on my mind for a long time.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️.💫

[Tara · Rating 5 out of 5]

If I had to use one word to sum up this book, it would be 'honest'. However, I can use more than one word here so here are a few that spring to mind: warm, funny, engaging, open. And at times, sad and harrowing.

Carrie writes with such candour about her journey pre and post-transition, right from those early and difficult school days, up to the present day. And what a remarkable journey it is. You just want her to win. You just want the world to be kind and fair to her.

Alongside Carrie's personal story, the book also intertwines some social commentary on transgender rights and history, the realities of being transgender, and the struggle that denying oneself authenticity can bring. This makes for very emotive reading at times, but it is a story that needs to be told.

A five star read, I really hope Carrie writes another book in a similar vein because she's such a great author!

[Alec Downie · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is hard to believe and sickly tragic that 50 years after Walk On the Wild Side that this book has to be written.

I winced at my own failures and ignorance, I laughed at the darkest of dark humour, I shed tears of sadness and frustration for what Carrie and her community, which by now should just be "our community" have suffered and still suffer so crass, clueless conniving people can use fear to sell advertising or get into power, without a shed of shame or accountability for the consequences to our LGBTQ+ friends and family!

I applaud her courage to not only tell her story but to live it and "be Carrie".

Everyone could learn from this book and become a better person for reading it so buy it and pass it on or gift it to friends!

[Always Reading Between The Wines · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another recommendation from a Book Club friend, this time for non-fiction (also realising January is becoming a month of pink covers).

Carrie kills a man is Carrie Marshall's account of her experiences from coming out as transsexual and how her life changed when she embraced this part of her life. It's raw and honest, with humour and full of sincerity. Carrie discusses how the decision to live authentically challenged the life she had built with her wife as a suburban dad and how difficult it is to navigate not only coming out, but doing so slightly later in life.

I learnt so much from this book about the trans community and I also loved how Carrie's passion for music leaps from every page. It's amazing to see how the impacts of social media and the Internet have changed so negatively too. I remember a lot of the examples Carrie brings up in her book, but it's jarring to see them laid out so vividly.

I loved the book, I can only hope she writes more.

[Ada · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was lucky enough to get my copy and have it signed by Carrie herself at its launch last month and have been really excited to read it since. It's honest, relatable and very funny, with plenty of heart and humanity. Carrie also weaves facts and figures about trans life into her words in such a way that it feels relevant and tied into the story. As a recently-out-as-enby person there's a lot to which I was furiously nodding along, but this book has such broad appeal beyond queer audiences.

[Robin :] · Rating 5 out of 5]

Easily one of my top books of the year. Written with so much heart, honesty and vulnerability, Carrie Marshall sets out to tell her own trans journey and somehow manages to describe everyone's. Viviciously Scots, angry in all the right bits and an author who actually places importance in the good bits of being trans, this book is a gorgeous, real and emotional memoir of not just the author, but every trans person in some degree.

[Grace 🎀 · Rating 5 out of 5]

absolutely loved this, one of the best memoirs i've ever read!! a real informative, heartfelt, often humorous tale of the experiences growing up feeling different. i loved the nods to glasgow throughout and it educated me further on trans issues in scotland/the uk. carrie is brilliant, i can't wait to read more :)

[Jo Wilkinson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this, initially attracted to the title and I thought it was going to be a mystery but I immediately felt pulled into this honest book about Carrie’s journey. She has a great turn of phrase and I loved the vignette style of her writing. She’s grown up in a similar time to me, so I could understand the pop culture references and imagine her in Glasgow. Would love to read more of her work.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

Carrie describes reading your new monthly music magazines as getting a letter from a friend, and that's exactly how this book felt to me. Carrie's writing is so sharp, but also deeply compassionate and considered, and reading her memoir really does feel like talking to a friend. I loved it, and can't wait to read more of her work.

[Leona · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. Honest funny celebrates the joy and euphoria of being yourself as well as highlighting the the impact and ugly underbelly of prejudice. I loved the writing style too. Felt like journal entries artfully woven together. As a memoir it’s powerful and perfect!

[Lison · Rating 5 out of 5]

this was amazing - it made me laugh, cry and get angry at society all over again. I loved every single moment of it ❤

[Hayley Dunning · Rating 4 out of 5]

Refreshingly uncomplicated honesty: need part two!

[John Lyus · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book to be fascinating, heartbreaking and funny. It is a very well written book and gave a great insight into Carrie's life and how she has developed into an amazing woman.

[N Sheppard · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a delightful book. It really felt like I was sitting across the kitchen table with Carrie and a cup of tea.

[Gemma Jones · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible 💗

[moonlight · Rating 5 out of 5]

🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻!!!!!

[Jeska · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very heartfelt memoir that had me tearing up. I learned some new things in this book which is always important. Trans rights are human rights!

[Hester · Rating 2 out of 5]

Good first half, skimmed the last few sections. Was an interesting perspective that ended up being quite ranty

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting, raw and insightful read.

3.5 stars.

[scottiesandbooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

🎸 Whatever the explanation, I ended up with a body that didn’t quite match who I am, a biological soup that wasn’t quite what I ordered. And because I’m British, I didn’t complain and I was too scared to send it back. 🎸

🏳️‍⚧️ Hi. I’m Carrie 🏳️‍⚧️

Where my memoir fans at!? 👋

I’m the sucker for a great Scottish memoir. Every traumatic, sad page of them… sometimes the more tragic the better right? Not this one, oh no!

@carrieplaysguitar takes us on her journey to self acceptance, to freeing herself and letting the world see her for her fabulous self! The book has sadness of course but what it also has is pure joy. Joy through music, video games, books, family, fashion faux pas, mishaps and freedom. At times I was angry of course. Angry at the treatment of the trans community in society (JEEZO WHY DO PEOPLE THINK IT’S OK TO HURL ABUSE AT SOMEONE WALKING DOWN THE STREET!?), statistics surrounding waiting times for healthcare and so much more. This book not only entertains but educates in a very accessible way. That’s important if we want people to understand eh? 😍

Carrie holds nothing back and takes us step by step on her journey through elements I would never even think of. It was honest, open and trusting.. which in that respect made it a very brave thing to write. Although not my lived experience there was so much I could relate to, why would there not be? In a world where trans people are being demonised and othered it’s important that memoirs like Carries exists. We’re all human after all.

Lastly, and certainly not least is the musical references that ooze from the pages. Not only do you get a book, you get a Spotify playlist to go along with it.

What’s not to love? 😍

[Louise Lex · Rating 4 out of 5]

“I want you to see and share our joy.
Because if you do, then the Carries of the future, their families and their friends will understand that being trans offers possibility and pleasure, not pain or punishment.”

If you’re looking for a book that cuts through all the noise and takes you on a journey that explores the very personal realities of being transgender in Scotland and the UK but also discusses the social commentary and history in a way that feels really open and accessible then this is the book for you.

Throughout the book, Carrie discusses and highlights the non-linear process of transition and how what we feel and allow ourselves to feel is shaped by our environment and the information we have. I think this recognition is really powerful as it really highlights that how we feel can evolve as our environment changes and as our knowledge about something increases. A reminder that visibility truly does matter and can be life changing.

The way that Carrie explores and discusses rejecting privilege and power was another real highlight for me and a great example of the power of listening to own voice stories and not allowing the narrative to come from the media.

The tears I cried reading this beautiful book were not all for the reasons you might think. Yes, there were tears of anger at the transphobia Carrie and others have had to and continue to face and tears of frustration and disbelief at the sheer lack of humanity within our NHS when it comes to trans healthcare and access to services but…there was also joy; so much joy.
This book is funny; really funny! Crying tears of joy kind of funny but also ridiculously relatable tales of everyday mishaps kind of funny.

[Alexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

Unflinching, brilliant, and heartbreaking in equal measure. I’m sad that someone I have known for almost 20 years went through so much while hiding her true self, but happy that she’s now in a place of strength and empowerment.

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