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Pacifique
Is love real if the beloved isn’t? Girl, Interrupted meets Rebecca in this taut tale of love and madness
When Tia meets Pacifique, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime love. They spend five wild days and nights together, and then Tia wakes up in an ambulance with a collarbone broken in a bike accident — and no trace of Pacifique. Unable to convince anyone that Pacifique exists, Tia winds up in a psychiatric ward, forced to face the possibility that this perfect lover may be a figment of her imagination. While there, Tia meets Andrew, a contemplative man with schizophrenia, who falls in love with Tia. He, too, tells her to forget Pacifique. Who to believe? The medical establishment and her fellow patients? Or her frail human memory? And if Pacifique truly is a figment, is life in the “real world” with Andrew enough?
When Tia meets Pacifique, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime love. They spend five wild days and nights together, and then Tia wakes up in an ambulance with a collarbone broken in a bike accident — and no trace of Pacifique. Unable to convince anyone that Pacifique exists, Tia winds up in a psychiatric ward, forced to face the possibility that this perfect lover may be a figment of her imagination. While there, Tia meets Andrew, a contemplative man with schizophrenia, who falls in love with Tia. He, too, tells her to forget Pacifique. Who to believe? The medical establishment and her fellow patients? Or her frail human memory? And if Pacifique truly is a figment, is life in the “real world” with Andrew enough?
176 pages, Paperback
First published October 11, 2022
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294 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 29 of 29 reviews
February 5, 2023
Much to unpack here that I am not sure I am smart enough to unpack. I had a great time reading, though! Definitely one I’ll be thinking about for a while.
November 4, 2022
|| PACIFIQUE||
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"Before he is released, Andrew stops asking Tia for the story of the accident. Did he simply lose interest, she wonders. Or did he give up? Maybe he got a lecture from the lady doctor about feeding Tia's delusions. Or maybe he realized she honestly couldn't tell him what he wanted to know. The accident itself remains invisible to her. An entire corner of the puzzle is missing. The harder she pushes, the more it fades. This memory loss feels like a shard of truth. O'Shea says it only proves his point, but she thinks it makes sense she has forgotten. How is she supposed to remember what happened before she cracked her skull against the asphalt?" ~pg.95
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When Tia meets Pacifique, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime love. They spend five wild days and nights together, and then Tia wakes up in an ambulance with a collarbone broken in a bike accident — and no trace of Pacifique. Unable to convince anyone that Pacifique exists, Tia winds up in a psychiatric ward, forced to face the possibility that this perfect lover may be a figment of her imagination. While there, Tia meets Andrew, a contemplative man with schizophrenia, who falls in love with Tia. He, too, tells her to forget Pacifique. Who to believe? The medical establishment and her fellow patients? Or her frail human memory? And if Pacifique truly is a figment, is life in the “real world” with Andrew enough?
✍🏻
Stellar debut! An exquisitely written character study, queer thriller and deep look at mental illness, love, and psychological care. Written in two parts, Tia's journey unfolds at just the right pace and Taggart's mesmerizing prose suck you into this story. I haven't read anything quite like this before and I enjoyed every second of the ride! Definitely reccomend!
Gifted from the publisher opinions are my own.
For more of my book content check out instagram.com/bookalong
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"Before he is released, Andrew stops asking Tia for the story of the accident. Did he simply lose interest, she wonders. Or did he give up? Maybe he got a lecture from the lady doctor about feeding Tia's delusions. Or maybe he realized she honestly couldn't tell him what he wanted to know. The accident itself remains invisible to her. An entire corner of the puzzle is missing. The harder she pushes, the more it fades. This memory loss feels like a shard of truth. O'Shea says it only proves his point, but she thinks it makes sense she has forgotten. How is she supposed to remember what happened before she cracked her skull against the asphalt?" ~pg.95
•
When Tia meets Pacifique, it’s a once-in-a-lifetime love. They spend five wild days and nights together, and then Tia wakes up in an ambulance with a collarbone broken in a bike accident — and no trace of Pacifique. Unable to convince anyone that Pacifique exists, Tia winds up in a psychiatric ward, forced to face the possibility that this perfect lover may be a figment of her imagination. While there, Tia meets Andrew, a contemplative man with schizophrenia, who falls in love with Tia. He, too, tells her to forget Pacifique. Who to believe? The medical establishment and her fellow patients? Or her frail human memory? And if Pacifique truly is a figment, is life in the “real world” with Andrew enough?
✍🏻
Stellar debut! An exquisitely written character study, queer thriller and deep look at mental illness, love, and psychological care. Written in two parts, Tia's journey unfolds at just the right pace and Taggart's mesmerizing prose suck you into this story. I haven't read anything quite like this before and I enjoyed every second of the ride! Definitely reccomend!
Gifted from the publisher opinions are my own.
For more of my book content check out instagram.com/bookalong
January 23, 2023
i finished this book back in december and somehow forgot to review it? even though i loved it??? who knows, december was a weird month.
sarah l. taggart's novel 'pacifique' centres around the love that tia finds in a mysterious woman named pacifique. the pair spends 5 days together, and ends when tia gets into a bike accident and pacifique seems to not exist. her insistence on pacifique's existence (despite no one having met her) lands tia in a psych ward, forced to face the reality that maybe pacifique was all in her head. there, she meets andrew, a kind man with schizophrenia, who falls in love with her and insists tia forget about pacifique. ultimately, tia must decide if it's worth holding onto the hope that pacifique was real, or if life with andrew in the 'real world' is enough for her.
this was just great. the writing was incredible, and you really got the sense of unease that built as tia realized her reality might have been partially in her own head. it was a great look at one woman's spiral, and perfect for fans of 'my year of rest and relaxation' and 'girl, interrupted'. we love an unhinged woman.
sarah l. taggart's novel 'pacifique' centres around the love that tia finds in a mysterious woman named pacifique. the pair spends 5 days together, and ends when tia gets into a bike accident and pacifique seems to not exist. her insistence on pacifique's existence (despite no one having met her) lands tia in a psych ward, forced to face the reality that maybe pacifique was all in her head. there, she meets andrew, a kind man with schizophrenia, who falls in love with her and insists tia forget about pacifique. ultimately, tia must decide if it's worth holding onto the hope that pacifique was real, or if life with andrew in the 'real world' is enough for her.
this was just great. the writing was incredible, and you really got the sense of unease that built as tia realized her reality might have been partially in her own head. it was a great look at one woman's spiral, and perfect for fans of 'my year of rest and relaxation' and 'girl, interrupted'. we love an unhinged woman.
April 25, 2024
This was such a beautiful and surreal read. I fell in love with every character, cried with them, loved with them. This is an essential read
November 14, 2022
"The memory gives her nothing. Answers nothing. There is no truth there."
After Coach House Books had two female writers nominated, one of which just won this year's Giller Prize, this tiny publishing house has done it again. Their latest release, Pacifique, is the debut by Sarah L. Taggart and tells the story of Tia who wakes up in an ambulance and finds herself admitted to the psychiatric ward and tries to convince everyone, including herself, of the existence of Pacifique. On the ward, she meets Andrew who shares his experiences and so-called expertise on the ward and the system of which Tia now finds herself a part of. What follows is a quest for truth and acceptance teetering the line between figments of her illness and the "real word".
"A madhouse is anything but mad. A madhouse is another system. System among systems. The ever-present chaos is a distracting veneer. Underneath, pure order. A false order, yes, but order nonetheless. They want you to think it is a crazy place for crazy people. Andrew knows that every patient is just another cog in the machine. Like everyone on the outside. Inside, outside, it does not matter. You're still a bloody pawn."
Pacifique is divided into two distinct narratives and parts, both with rich and vibrant prose that makes for a special debut. I am telling you, do not sleep on this debut by Sarah L. Taggart. This book kept me emotionally involved all the way to the last page and at many points along the way cracked open a deep part of me that is way too personal to post here (I'll just let you fill in the blanks). Pacifique is a borderline thriller tale of love, mental illness and care, refuge and sanity. Sarah L. Taggart joins a list of other amazing female authors from Coach House Books who deserve her own attention as much as Suzette Mayr and Kim Fu.
After Coach House Books had two female writers nominated, one of which just won this year's Giller Prize, this tiny publishing house has done it again. Their latest release, Pacifique, is the debut by Sarah L. Taggart and tells the story of Tia who wakes up in an ambulance and finds herself admitted to the psychiatric ward and tries to convince everyone, including herself, of the existence of Pacifique. On the ward, she meets Andrew who shares his experiences and so-called expertise on the ward and the system of which Tia now finds herself a part of. What follows is a quest for truth and acceptance teetering the line between figments of her illness and the "real word".
"A madhouse is anything but mad. A madhouse is another system. System among systems. The ever-present chaos is a distracting veneer. Underneath, pure order. A false order, yes, but order nonetheless. They want you to think it is a crazy place for crazy people. Andrew knows that every patient is just another cog in the machine. Like everyone on the outside. Inside, outside, it does not matter. You're still a bloody pawn."
Pacifique is divided into two distinct narratives and parts, both with rich and vibrant prose that makes for a special debut. I am telling you, do not sleep on this debut by Sarah L. Taggart. This book kept me emotionally involved all the way to the last page and at many points along the way cracked open a deep part of me that is way too personal to post here (I'll just let you fill in the blanks). Pacifique is a borderline thriller tale of love, mental illness and care, refuge and sanity. Sarah L. Taggart joins a list of other amazing female authors from Coach House Books who deserve her own attention as much as Suzette Mayr and Kim Fu.
January 12, 2023
Phenomenal
July 26, 2023
4.5 stars
October 22, 2022
A remarkable debut novel thats tense, spooky, and compelling. It touches on themes of mental illness, love, and what happens when the two bleed into each other. Told in language that’s urgent and takes you right into the minds of the characters, Pacifique establishes Taggart as a voice to watch. Recommended.
March 19, 2023
This is a very well written, compassionate and sensitively told story of mental illness.
Tia's life spirals out of control as she becomes obsessed with her new friend and lover, Pacifique, who exists only inside Tia's head. Out on a bike ride with Pacifique, Tia is hit by a car suffering a brain injury and memory loss. When she regains consciousness and realises Pacifique is no longer there she becomes seriously ill and ends up in a psychiatric hospital.
In the hospital Tia is befriended by Andrew, a schizophrenic, who helps her to see that Pacifique never existed. After they are both released Andrew and Tia move in together and begin to reclaim their lives, but their mental illnesses begin to bubble back up and Pacifique makes a reappearance in both their lives. Tia must decide whether to reject this part of herself or embrace it.
The fragility of the human mind is on full display here, in both Tia and Andrew. The psychiatric profession are portrayed as inept and often lacking in compassion and relying on drugs as the only solution, while even those who appear to care do more harm than good.
This is a really good book, and it's also printed on the most beautiful paper making it a tactile pleasure to read.
Tia's life spirals out of control as she becomes obsessed with her new friend and lover, Pacifique, who exists only inside Tia's head. Out on a bike ride with Pacifique, Tia is hit by a car suffering a brain injury and memory loss. When she regains consciousness and realises Pacifique is no longer there she becomes seriously ill and ends up in a psychiatric hospital.
In the hospital Tia is befriended by Andrew, a schizophrenic, who helps her to see that Pacifique never existed. After they are both released Andrew and Tia move in together and begin to reclaim their lives, but their mental illnesses begin to bubble back up and Pacifique makes a reappearance in both their lives. Tia must decide whether to reject this part of herself or embrace it.
The fragility of the human mind is on full display here, in both Tia and Andrew. The psychiatric profession are portrayed as inept and often lacking in compassion and relying on drugs as the only solution, while even those who appear to care do more harm than good.
This is a really good book, and it's also printed on the most beautiful paper making it a tactile pleasure to read.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 8, 2024
This book made me think, and think, and think! So for that reason alone I will recommend it highly. I also highly recommend listening to or reading interviews with the author after you finish the book, because that really added to my reflections.
I appreciate Taggart's advocacy for forcibly psychiatrized people, and it was really helpful to learn more about that experience through Tia and Andrew's stories. The parts that I would love to know even more about are the various depictions of therapy by different providers. There were so many methods and theories and whatnot in this book that I hadn't heard anything about, and I wonder how they're viewed in the field.
My main gripe with the book is that Tia feels like a non-character. She doesn't have any personality outside of her infatuation with Pacifique, while everyone around her has comparatively strong characterization. It reminded me a bit of Nick in The Great Gatsby that way.
I got very sucked into this book, and I won't forget it anytime soon!
I appreciate Taggart's advocacy for forcibly psychiatrized people, and it was really helpful to learn more about that experience through Tia and Andrew's stories. The parts that I would love to know even more about are the various depictions of therapy by different providers. There were so many methods and theories and whatnot in this book that I hadn't heard anything about, and I wonder how they're viewed in the field.
My main gripe with the book is that Tia feels like a non-character. She doesn't have any personality outside of her infatuation with Pacifique, while everyone around her has comparatively strong characterization. It reminded me a bit of Nick in The Great Gatsby that way.
I got very sucked into this book, and I won't forget it anytime soon!
November 2, 2022
Told in two distinct parts, Pacifique is a story about a woman who falls in love with another woman named Pacifique, and after an accident loses her, no one believing her to be real. The first part read as an intertwining romance and a psychological thriller, which I really loved, and would have easily given 5 stars to. The second part, however, read more like a drama about people with heavy baggage, and it really dragged for me. The finale makes it clear why the second part was necessary, so I don’t necessarily mind the hard turn in style, but it definitely could have been cleaned up to read as quickly as the first part. Overall, I really enjoyed the novel, and even in part two, where I didn’t feel quite as invested, the writing and characterization was incredible and ensured that I would make it to the end to see what would happen. Highly recommend this to everyone who wants a good, queer thriller with a bit more thought to it than the average thriller.
February 27, 2023
There’s something about this one… and it’s a debut to boot. This is like a contemporary - fictional, semi-autobiographical - queer/feminist update to Girl Interrupted.
This grabbed me from the start and didn’t let me go. Based in part of her own experience in being committed to a psychiatric institution - the same one she locates the action in in the novel - there is an authenticity to this that comes through in spades.
Magical. Lyrical. Like an ear-worm (I listened to the audiobook, brilliantly narrated). It grabs hold of you from the start and doesn’t let you go. As I’m listening I find myself questioning aspects of my own ‘sanity’...
Highly recommended.
This grabbed me from the start and didn’t let me go. Based in part of her own experience in being committed to a psychiatric institution - the same one she locates the action in in the novel - there is an authenticity to this that comes through in spades.
Magical. Lyrical. Like an ear-worm (I listened to the audiobook, brilliantly narrated). It grabs hold of you from the start and doesn’t let you go. As I’m listening I find myself questioning aspects of my own ‘sanity’...
Highly recommended.
February 12, 2024
As much as I really really liked this book, it is definitely not for everyone. And the "up to your interpretation" ending makes me so mad! But it was still an incredible read.
Tia's story is so sad and yet so hopeful and even when I didn't believe her, I desperately wanted to. Andrew, on the other hand, I wanted to like but couldn't muster it within me. It was so painful and the realness in the description of their respective therapy sessions was honestly so acute I could almost picture it.
Honestly, the best part about this book for me is that I feel like I found it (or it found me) in the same way Pacifique found Tia. Drawn together, lost, and then found again. That's so special.
Tia's story is so sad and yet so hopeful and even when I didn't believe her, I desperately wanted to. Andrew, on the other hand, I wanted to like but couldn't muster it within me. It was so painful and the realness in the description of their respective therapy sessions was honestly so acute I could almost picture it.
Honestly, the best part about this book for me is that I feel like I found it (or it found me) in the same way Pacifique found Tia. Drawn together, lost, and then found again. That's so special.
November 16, 2022
This book is so far from the type I usually pick up. But I received a complimentary copy from the publisher, the plot sounded intriguing, and I started seeing it pop up at some indie bookstores, so I decided to give it a try. And I have to say - it blew me away!
Tia has a whirlwind adventure of a romance with Pacifique, a colourful and lively woman she meets spontaneously. But then Tia suddenly wakes up in an ambulance and is told that she was just in a bicycle accident - and there is no trace of Pacifique. With the world telling her that Pacifique doesn’t exist, Tia has a mental break and ends up in a psychiatric facility. She befriends some fellow patients, including Andrew, who has schizophrenia. As Tia undergoes treatment, she must reckon with whether to believe her own memories or the medical establishment, and decide for herself whether she believes in Pacifique.
This was such an interesting read. It’s described as a psychological thriller, but I found it less than thrilling than generally compelling and thoughtful. It’s about mental illness (in both the human and institutional senses), love, and sanity, and makes you question what truly is reality. The writing is beautiful and heartfelt, and poignant at times; I was particularly moved by Andrew’s perspective and the progression of his mental state. It’s a relatively short read, and I was fully drawn in throughout.
This is a truly impressive and meaningful debut, and I’m so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone to read it.
Thank you so much to Coach House Books for the gifted copy at the Toronto Word on the Street pop-up! Opinions are all my own.
Tia has a whirlwind adventure of a romance with Pacifique, a colourful and lively woman she meets spontaneously. But then Tia suddenly wakes up in an ambulance and is told that she was just in a bicycle accident - and there is no trace of Pacifique. With the world telling her that Pacifique doesn’t exist, Tia has a mental break and ends up in a psychiatric facility. She befriends some fellow patients, including Andrew, who has schizophrenia. As Tia undergoes treatment, she must reckon with whether to believe her own memories or the medical establishment, and decide for herself whether she believes in Pacifique.
This was such an interesting read. It’s described as a psychological thriller, but I found it less than thrilling than generally compelling and thoughtful. It’s about mental illness (in both the human and institutional senses), love, and sanity, and makes you question what truly is reality. The writing is beautiful and heartfelt, and poignant at times; I was particularly moved by Andrew’s perspective and the progression of his mental state. It’s a relatively short read, and I was fully drawn in throughout.
This is a truly impressive and meaningful debut, and I’m so glad I stepped out of my comfort zone to read it.
Thank you so much to Coach House Books for the gifted copy at the Toronto Word on the Street pop-up! Opinions are all my own.
June 12, 2024
this wins the best book of the first half of the year award!!!! a novel that interrogates the mental health system and its effects on its patients (and, in an extra-plot context, examines the author's experiences thereof) while also managing to be the richest (wlw!!!) romance i've read in ages; it positively writhes with sex on one page and burns ice-cold on the next. fuckign CRAZY a necessary read actually!!!
March 20, 2023
~Pacifique~ a women of irresistible allure, seduction and companionship to Tia... and only Tia. Through confusion over reality and make believe, Tia struggles as her imaginary childhood best friend grows with her never disappearing with age, only a temporary brain injury. This was an excellent novel, captivating storyline, and look forward to reading the authors future works.
4.1/5
-T
4.1/5
-T
May 16, 2024
Pacifique kept me on the edge of my seat, mostly because I was never sure which versions of reality to believe. If a narrator is unreliable... how do you know how unreliable they are? I was never quite sure which characters were real until the last few chapters.
March 29, 2023
What is real, what is a dream and what if something lies in between?
April 9, 2023
A good and sad book.
April 22, 2023
it gets bonus points for being set in Victoria
July 4, 2023
Really, really odd. Easy read, but not my fave.
May 23, 2024
I don’t know what the ending is trying to tell me but I still really liked it it dragged but maybe that was just me
December 17, 2024
I feel like this started really strong and then sorta lost me in the last half :(
July 9, 2025
A graceful dance between sanity, dreamscape and fantasy
June 24, 2024
This debut book ended up in my basket quite randomly. I finished it almost 6 months ago now, however it is still fresh in my mind. I liked the characters and the question of what was surreal/real that was left a bit open - and the depictions of the world of the inpatient. Recommend.
April 23, 2024
Read my review here, published in The Ampersand Review: https://theampersandreview.ca/book-re...
Excerpt: Pacifique suggests that sometimes healing is accepting oneself and not trying to fit into the prescribed box, but to create the container that is most comfortable in which to reside.
Excerpt: Pacifique suggests that sometimes healing is accepting oneself and not trying to fit into the prescribed box, but to create the container that is most comfortable in which to reside.
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