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What a Shame
The idea of a curse was divisive, but the assertion that I had, for some time now, been 'laden with something dark' was disconcertingly unanimous.
I wondered if this was something you also saw in me, if that was why you left.
There is something wrong with Mathilda.
She's still reeling from the blow of a gut-punch break up and grieving the death of a loved one.
But that's not it.
She's cried all her tears, mastered her crow pose and thrown out every last reminder of him.
But that's not helping.
Concerned that she isn't moving on, Mathilda's friends push her towards a series of increasingly unorthodox remedies.
Until the seams of herself begin to come undone.
Tender, unflinching and blisteringly funny, What a Shame glitters with rage and heartbreak, and offers up the joy of self-acceptance through an extraordinary rite of passage to overcome the prickly heat of female shame.
I wondered if this was something you also saw in me, if that was why you left.
There is something wrong with Mathilda.
She's still reeling from the blow of a gut-punch break up and grieving the death of a loved one.
But that's not it.
She's cried all her tears, mastered her crow pose and thrown out every last reminder of him.
But that's not helping.
Concerned that she isn't moving on, Mathilda's friends push her towards a series of increasingly unorthodox remedies.
Until the seams of herself begin to come undone.
Tender, unflinching and blisteringly funny, What a Shame glitters with rage and heartbreak, and offers up the joy of self-acceptance through an extraordinary rite of passage to overcome the prickly heat of female shame.
272 pages, Paperback
First published February 3, 2022
166 people are currently reading
7446 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 392 reviews
March 15, 2022
The protagonist in the book annoyed me. She reminded me of many self-centred girls who live in SE or NE London who do a creative arts degree, turn it into a job in marketing and then have to do voodoo or psychedelic trips to appear interesting. The writing style was quite interesting but the “twist” was disturbing and not fully developed. In fact, many narratives were left unfinished and Jeremy the dog had a better storyline than most. Would not recommend.
April 19, 2022
unlikeable main character but not in a fun ‘my year of rest and relaxation’ or ‘boy parts’ way. really hard to read because the narrative was sort of all over the place. a lot of the writing felt a bit overworked to me, and i don’t think the author has fully found her voice yet. there was some nice one-liners throughout tho. all of the 3 side characters (the flatmates) were indistinguishable and i got them confused so many times in my head. the pacing was odd and the spirituality-focused second half didn’t seem like it fit in the book at all. also i don’t get how the title relates to the book like at all. that being said, i’d be interested to see what abigail bergstrom does in the future because i do think she’s a talented writer, this book just wasn’t for me.
July 23, 2022
If I had to choose four ways to improve this book, I would (1) scrap the confusing father/ex second-person narration, (2) either commit to the "curse" plot line or lose it altogether, (3) give the final-act abuse revelation the attention and gravity it deserved, and (4) provide an answer to the only compelling question in the book: why did Mathilda's ex so unceremoniously walk out on her? Are we meant to understand that the fact she hadn't processed and healed from her childhood trauma made her so damaged that it was simply impossible for him to stay with her? Because that's messed up.
Honestly, I feel cruel writing this, but I didn't think there was a single way in which this book succeeded. The plot was painfully thin (one of the Main Events was a bath), and there was a pervasive flatness to it; every sentence felt like it had been overworked and overworked and overworked to the point where all the life was sucked out.
Honestly, I feel cruel writing this, but I didn't think there was a single way in which this book succeeded. The plot was painfully thin (one of the Main Events was a bath), and there was a pervasive flatness to it; every sentence felt like it had been overworked and overworked and overworked to the point where all the life was sucked out.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 13, 2022
This is a very odd book - the themes are very serious - Mathilde has just lost her father, her boyfriend broke up with her, her 'rebound' is a toxic and abusive man... But the tone and the writing are alternatively poetic and dark and sad, or funny and bubbly, like a rom-com or a fun beach novel. Her friends think she is the victim of a curse, so this is a recurring theme - they suggest a bath to cleanse the bad energy. There is a long, long Tarot reading. The story is narrated sometimes to the ex-boyfriend, sometimes to the deceased father. It was interesting and mostly well-written but I found the format very confusing - it did not quite always match the content (which is fine) but it was very inconsistent.
Free copy sent by Netgalley.
Free copy sent by Netgalley.
May 8, 2022
I really wanted to love this book but ultimately... It's okay? There are a lot of books like this - semi-functional sad girl protagonist with some deep seated trauma and a group of good quirky friends - which is a genre I generally vibe with. But this one...it just fell flat. I think possibly trying to do too many things at once, and the shifts in tone and voice and up pretty unsatisfying. But it's not bad! It's possible I might have got more out of it if I hadn't read other versions of This Book that I liked more or felt a greater emotional link to. So I don't want to be too critical, hence the 3 stars.
THAT BEING SAID - the most distracting element of this book is the northern character whose dialogue is mostly written in the same English as everyone else's but then occasionally a "nowt" or a dropped h or something to indicate an accent. If you're going to write in an accent (which unless you are putting in dialect and/or it's relevant I don't think you need to!) you really need that accent to be in all their dialogue. Not the biggest problem but being northern myself it was jarring to the point of pulling me out of the book.
THAT BEING SAID - the most distracting element of this book is the northern character whose dialogue is mostly written in the same English as everyone else's but then occasionally a "nowt" or a dropped h or something to indicate an accent. If you're going to write in an accent (which unless you are putting in dialect and/or it's relevant I don't think you need to!) you really need that accent to be in all their dialogue. Not the biggest problem but being northern myself it was jarring to the point of pulling me out of the book.
February 1, 2022
This was a sharp and personal debut about Mathilda, who has in many ways lost herself due to grief and heartbreak. It is in a way difficult and easy read at the same time. The subject matter is hard, but it is written in a manner that one wants to laugh and cry along with Mathilda. I really liked how the story switches between the her point of view to her speaking directly to her dad and her previous partner. The plot kept moving while the writing was beautiful on a sentence level. A definite recommend!
A few fragments:
"I'm early, and wisely turn my attention to the lives of more women who look happier than I feel by scrolling through Instagram. The success, pleasure and vitality of these women refreshes more quickly than my feed."
"I have these memories of you now. I suppose upon reflection they have always been there, lurking in the background. A passing shadow in front of a doorway, or in the corner of my eye - back, back, back in black corners of my mind. So deeply buried and repressed that when I start to recall a memory of you, I remember it in the wrong order."
Trigger warnings: self harm, abuse.
Thank you NetGalley and Hodder & Stoughton for the e-ARC.
A few fragments:
"I'm early, and wisely turn my attention to the lives of more women who look happier than I feel by scrolling through Instagram. The success, pleasure and vitality of these women refreshes more quickly than my feed."
"I have these memories of you now. I suppose upon reflection they have always been there, lurking in the background. A passing shadow in front of a doorway, or in the corner of my eye - back, back, back in black corners of my mind. So deeply buried and repressed that when I start to recall a memory of you, I remember it in the wrong order."
Trigger warnings: self harm, abuse.
Thank you NetGalley and Hodder & Stoughton for the e-ARC.
November 11, 2023
I actually really enjoyed this so I feel bad rating it on the lower end, but I just feel like I wanted more from it? I wanted the book to take its ideas further and it just never did.
February 1, 2023
Ik voel me lichter nu ik dit heb gelezen. Het komt allemaal goed. En ik heb het gevoel dat ik een auteur heb ontdekt die zo in het rijtje past naast Dolly Alderton en Sally Rooney.
January 31, 2022
I wasn't sure what to make of this book. I was confused at first as Mathilda is talking to someone she addresses as "you". Then I began to realise that the "you" was two different people, which would be correct if this was in your own head, but to read it is a different matter.
Intrigued by what the remedies her friends would go to I pressed on. I wasn't overly convinced of their methods. The last method was a little too out there for me and too many pages were taken up describing it all in detail.
My favourite part of the book is where she befriends Constance an elderly lady who still has opinions on lots of things and I thought worth listening to.
There are a couple of what I deem to be comical episodes, but I didn't find them that funny. Overall I found the book a little depressing and even more so when what I had suspected from the beginning is revealed. There could be some trigger points for some readers.
Intrigued by what the remedies her friends would go to I pressed on. I wasn't overly convinced of their methods. The last method was a little too out there for me and too many pages were taken up describing it all in detail.
My favourite part of the book is where she befriends Constance an elderly lady who still has opinions on lots of things and I thought worth listening to.
There are a couple of what I deem to be comical episodes, but I didn't find them that funny. Overall I found the book a little depressing and even more so when what I had suspected from the beginning is revealed. There could be some trigger points for some readers.
March 18, 2022
This book really took me by surprise and I feel like it’s really exactly what I needed to read at that specific time.
Following Mathilda, who is lost in a spiral of grief, denial, and a history of abuse, this book would courageous, unorthodox, and so gripping. As someone intrigued by the spiritual, I found this so fascinating and timely and can see much of what is discussed here reflected in our modern, millennial world.
Touching on shame, self-worth, and self-acceptance, it covers issues that are universal for young women growing up today as well as darker subject matters that unfortunately impact upon many.
A really daring debut novel from Bergstrom and the perfect balance of humour and heartfelt realness. I can’t wait to read more from Bergstrom in the future!
January 11, 2022
This sadly wasn't really my cup of tea. It Nearly ended up on dnf list as I didn't connect or even care about any of the characters. It did get better but the only character I really liked was Constance
May 17, 2022
What a Shame .. ? more like what a waste of 15 pounds to buy this in hardback
February 21, 2022
I saw someone (Dolly Alderton?) post about this book a while ago & completely ignored it because I hated the title and I hated the cover (breaking the first cardinal rule of life, to not judge a book… I know, I know). Then it popped up again and again across social media, and when Bella Mackie (i<3u) posted about it, I finally listened and requested a review copy on Netgalley. Boyyyyyyy am I glad that it was rammed so far down my throat that I eventually stopped ignoring it. I wouldn’t go so far as to describe it as phenomenal, in the same way I wouldn’t describe a cup of tea as phenomenal, but you need to know that I drink about five cups of tea a day and I would read this book five times a day if I could. It was warming, life-affirming and exactly what I needed at this point in my life. I don’t know if that weird-ass analogy makes sense to you, but this book made sense to me and I will be buying it for all of my friends’ birthday and Christmas presents henceforth. Congrats, everyone.
July 21, 2023
Although the storyline wasn’t anything super unique or crazy, Abigail Bergstrom can write characters extremely well and I found myself very attached to them all by the end.
I loved how wholesome the friendship group of girls were. It was so refreshing and heartwarming to read.
It’s about a normal girl, living a normal life, trying to navigate grief and heartbreak and I think it’s a book a lot of people will resonate with.
I loved how wholesome the friendship group of girls were. It was so refreshing and heartwarming to read.
It’s about a normal girl, living a normal life, trying to navigate grief and heartbreak and I think it’s a book a lot of people will resonate with.
March 5, 2022
Gorgeous debut - highly recommend for women in their 20-30s
July 12, 2025
When I started reading the book, I saw some negative reviews and did not have any high expectations. However, it turned out to be a calm, wise, perky, and sincere story, which I adore. Mathilda's inner searching resonated with me a lot, as I’m finally thriving in my deep therapy experiences. I loved the conversation with her little version, her devotion to friends, and her willingness to finally save herself.
“A woman is never really satisfied by a man’s love. I know this now. No matter how much he’s willing to give, it’s never enough to quench our thirst. I needed to figure out being on my own”
“A woman is never really satisfied by a man’s love. I know this now. No matter how much he’s willing to give, it’s never enough to quench our thirst. I needed to figure out being on my own”
June 3, 2023
have never felt more grateful to not be a straight white woman
December 29, 2023
płakałam co jakieś 20 stron, delektowałam się nią przez kilka dni i ahh
June 3, 2022
trigger warning: graphic details of self-harm, talks of death, abuse
i have nothing much to say of this book apart from it was just okay. i believe this is bergstrom’s debut so it is completely understandable. it’s a normal reaction to me almost.
if mathilda were to have a song, it’ll undoubtedly be harry styles’ famous “matilda”. that’s it. that’s the verdict. beep.
okay back to all seriousness, i love bergstrom’s writing. the way she lightens the dark sides of the book quite reminds me of ottessa moshfegh in my year of rest and relaxation almost, though both are not quite the same either. the way that she described grief and loss through mathilda’s character was heartfelt, like i could quite literally feel mathilda’s own pain. there were some parts of the book that caught me off guard also; the graphic scene where mathilda self-harms. i thought it was a brief mention but whew that was A SCENE alright. definitely approach this book with caution i’d say.
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i have nothing much to say of this book apart from it was just okay. i believe this is bergstrom’s debut so it is completely understandable. it’s a normal reaction to me almost.
if mathilda were to have a song, it’ll undoubtedly be harry styles’ famous “matilda”. that’s it. that’s the verdict. beep.
okay back to all seriousness, i love bergstrom’s writing. the way she lightens the dark sides of the book quite reminds me of ottessa moshfegh in my year of rest and relaxation almost, though both are not quite the same either. the way that she described grief and loss through mathilda’s character was heartfelt, like i could quite literally feel mathilda’s own pain. there were some parts of the book that caught me off guard also; the graphic scene where mathilda self-harms. i thought it was a brief mention but whew that was A SCENE alright. definitely approach this book with caution i’d say.
“to love oneself is to seek out the worst and most terrible parts. a curse, lifted. my shame no longer sits cloyingly around me. it no longer leaks inside, seeping into my view of the world.”
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March 16, 2022
annoyed i wasted a week attempting to read this.
February 18, 2023
I wasn't sure how to feel about this book, but overall I did think it was okay. It was a very 'normal people doing normal things' (ie. woman grieving a death and also the end of a relationship and trying to move on) and it was written in an interesting way. The writing did make me feel like I wasn't intelligent enough at times, but I think I appreciate what it was trying to do. I now really want a Chinese Crested dog.
February 18, 2023
there are a lot of books on women reeling from heartbreak/trauma and some miss the mark. however this one was great. very thought provoking and the discussions on grief were memorable.
January 4, 2023
This debut novel follows a female protagonist who has lost her father and her partner has left her. It was the theme of loss that initially caught my eye after being 😮💨DUMPED😮💨 and after experiencing deaths in the last year, I felt hopeful that this would provide insight, inspiration and perhaps even comfort around the concept of loss - specifically loss from break ups vs loss from death. This hope quickly turned to resentment for this novel. Despite the slightly interesting dark twist at the end which finally explains the “shame” element, this just wasn’t what I was expecting based on the book’s description so I was left disappointed. Not a huge deal as I’m used to being left disappointed anyway by men !
Something positive I will say is that the author has a nice, interesting writing style. Saying that, this is something else I grew to resent as I found the speech written in a generic northern accent absolutely jarring.
Something positive I will say is that the author has a nice, interesting writing style. Saying that, this is something else I grew to resent as I found the speech written in a generic northern accent absolutely jarring.
May 23, 2022
I had high expectations for ‘What a Shame’ after following Bergstrom on Instagram for a long time. I was sadly really disappointed by the book and felt that the representation of childhood trauma was almost quite romanticised and very clichéd. I understand what was trying to be done, however the notion that Child SA could be cured through a Ayahuasca trip in an Italian mansion and support from your privileged group of gal pals was almost a little bit offensive to me. The characters in the book were the most privileged and unrepresentative of young women and made it so difficult for me to conjure any sympathy for them. There were a few really beautiful one liners which I highlighted and would really love to revisit, however over all was very unmoving.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 24, 2022
Meh. A superficial view of grief and heartbreak. Not bad for a debut but felt very surface level and I didn’t feel connected to the protagonist or other characters. Struggled to finish the last 50ish pages.
July 25, 2023
I couldn’t tell you the plot of this book if my life depended on it. Also none of the characters actually act like real people and they’re all unlikeable as fuck. If one of my friends said some of the shit to me that these girls say to each other in this book, I’d probably backhand them.
February 9, 2023
constance was this book’s only redeeming character. the rest were classic millennial hackney gentrifiers, yuck.
August 20, 2022
I disliked the book & what it represents. A classic case of taking the themes of abuse, grief, self-image, and profound sadness for likes, because #traumahealing is trending.
October 20, 2022
i’m sorry but this was so boring
February 6, 2022
Should I give this book maybe even five stars? I got this recommendation from the best podcast in the world when it comes to books (and life and other things), which is, of course, “Books Unbound”! I added it to my TBR and then forgot completely about it, so, when it arrived, I had no idea what it was about or what it was that interested me in the first place and compelled me to think about reading it. The book at first felt like a Bridget Jones novel and while I have nothing against her, on the contrary, it didn’t feel like something I’d like to waste my time on. But after the first 25 or so percent of the novel, when I got some facts and realised the depth and the severity of the story, the trauma above all, I started “enjoying it” I wanted to see it through. This was so sharp, painful, personal, and maybe even relatable on some levels, I’m glad I read it and wholeheartedly recommend it (but please keep in mind the trigger warnings)!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 392 reviews