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Quick & Easy Guides
A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns
Archie, a snarky genderqueer artist, is tired of people not understanding gender neutral pronouns. Tristan, a cisgender dude, is looking for an easy way to introduce gender neutral pronouns to his increasingly diverse workplace. The longtime best friends team up in this short and fun comic guide that explains what pronouns are, why they matter, and how to use them. They also include what to do if you make a mistake, and some tips-and-tricks for those who identify outside of the binary to keep themselves safe in this binary-centric world. A quick and easy resource for people who use they/them pronouns, and people who want to learn more!
Kindle Edition
First published June 12, 2018
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June 20, 2024
It will take you fifteen minutes to read this little comic book. It will probably take you almost as long to read this review!
The book is written and illustrated by Archie (non-binary, who uses they/them pronouns) and Tristan (cis male, who uses he/him). It's a quick, light-hearted, and practical guide to how to use they/them pronouns for those non-binary people who like to be addressed that way (not all do). For example:
"Chris put on their jeans and then they went to the supermarket."
Image: Queer Utopia: not there yet, hence this book.
There’s also a little bit of the why. But not much, because:
Image: It doesn’t matter why!
However, I think many people unfamiliar with the idea that gender isn’t divided rigidly into two distinct categories often do want to understand why: not to pry into the lives of individuals, but to understand the broader issues. You won’t get that context from the book, but you might from this review.
tl;dr
Regardless of how much you understand or approve of this terminology:
• Good manners mean you should try to address people as they want to be addressed, whether that is Khalid, rather than Kal; they, rather than she; or Mrs Webster, rather than Susan. Non-binary people find repeated misgendering demeaning and stressful.
• If in doubt, ask someone what pronouns they use, ideally by giving yours first (never by asking if they’re male or female).
• When you make a mistake, correct yourself, and move on, without making an overwrought apology. Spoiler alert: you will make mistakes.
• Singular "they" is grammatically fine, as explained below.
Basic Terms
"Non-binary", "gender-fluid" or "genderqueer" people don't feel fully, traditionally, or consistently male or female. Like a girl who is a tomboy most of the time, but occasionally likes dressing up in pink frills and doing so-called girly stuff. These people often prefer they/theirs pronouns (instead of he/his or she/hers) and do not like gendered nouns (like woman/man, son/daughter, or girlfriend/boyfriend) applied to them.
Image: Examples of traditional gendered phrases and non-gendered alternatives:
Ladies and gentlemen -> Folks, guests, everyone.
Men and women -> You all, friends.
Guys and gals -> Everyone, anyone.
The lady in the red blouse -> The person in the red shirt.
Grammar of Singular They - it's OK
The grammatical objection is easy to dismiss. Since the demise of thee/thou, you/your has been used as singular and plural. And singular they/their has been used for centuries, by writers including Chaucer, Austen, Byron, Eliot, Trollope, and Dickens, particularly where someone's gender isn't known ("someone left their coat behind"). It's also common generically: in Vanity Fair (1848), Thackeray has Rosalind say "A person can't help their birth.", and I’ve yet to read a review where anyone complains about it.
The authoritative dictionaries and style guides in the English-speaking world accept it, though there seems to be more resistance among US grammar mavens than those in the UK, where it’s always been in common use. If you’re British, see Oxford Dictionaries on the matter. If you’re USican, see Merriam Webster. If you’re in NZ, Canada, Australia, or any other English-speaking country, you’ll have to find your own authority. Here are a couple of excellent analyses of the grammar and history:
* OED Blog: A brief history of singular ‘they’.
* Motivated Grammar: Singular they and the many reasons it’s correct.
You match the verb with "they", which sounds more natural: "they are" and "you are", regardless of the number of people you're referring to (not "they is" or "you is"). For example:
"Chris bought new jeans because they are going to a party tonight."
It can occasionally be ambiguous, but that's easily avoided or fixed, perhaps by repeating the person's name.
Terminology
Back to people. Non-binary people are not necessarily transgender or intersex in the medical sense, though may describe themselves as trans. The only correlation with sexuality is that if your gender is not firmly male or female, you're unlikely to identify as completely straight.
Trans(gender) people feel the gender assigned at birth was wrong, and they transition, not necessarily surgically, to living as an other gender full time, permanently.
"Transvestites" are people who only sometimes dress as their non-birth sex. That term and "transsexual" are often viewed as outdated, or worse, so best avoided.
* Sexuality is OUTward-looking: who you're attracted to.
* Sex is about biology: chromosomes and reproductive organs. Clearcut for most.
* Gender is INward-looking: who you feel you are. It is usually reflected in how you present yourself to the world. For the vast majority of people, their gender corresponds to what the doctor/midwife/parents presumed at birth (the term for that is "cis").
Image: Genderbread Person v3. (Source.)
See also The Gender Unicorn at transstudent.org
Some non-binary people continue to use their gendered birth name and to have a beard or prominent bust. You can’t tell someone’s gender just by looking.
Spectrums and Labels
Whereas sex is usually clear, gender is more a matter of degree (and arguably, a social construct), rather than a binary concept (one of two labels).
The idea that gender is not rigidly binary or tied solely to chromosomes is strange to many of us. However, many cultures had and do have words and roles for such people. It's not a modern western invention. See Wikipedia’s Third Gender page.
I've never doubted that I'm female, but most of the time, I'm not an especially feminine one, so I can understand and empathise to some extent.
What I can't personally relate to is the need for a label, let alone different nouns and pronouns. I can just be a woman who's sometimes a bit of a tomboy (tomman?!). However, my nowq-adult kid is firmly non-binary, as is their spouse, so we use they/them for them individually and as a couple.
Be Kind
For me, it comes back to good manners and empathy, without which it is very difficult to have good relationships. And what relationship is more important than between parents and children?
But it goes both ways. Good manners should be applied to those who don't know, don't understand, or just get muddled by new terminology - hence this book. If I slip up (rare, now), and I don’t correct myself, my husband or child will. But with elderly relatives, we just model the correct pronouns, but don’t correct mistakes. If they love and accept our child, but don’t quite get or remember this new (to them) terminology, that's what is important. Context matters, too: I would be unlikely to correct anyone at a funeral, unless they were misgendering the deceased!
Image: Ways to change your language
Who Is This Book For?
Books like this are important, and the authors have a gentle approach to their mission, but I’m not sure they’ve really thought about their target audience. The format is geared to pre-teens, teens, and YA, but the content is more directed at those unfamiliar with the terminology, most of who are likely to be older. There’s a section on how to introduce gender-neutral awareness in professional settings, for instance. But near the end, there’s a section on coming out as non-binary, which seems aimed more at youthful readers - though obviously one can come out at any age.
In a nice touch, all the people at the publishing house, are listed at the front, giving their name, pronouns, and job title. (But they’re all he/him or she/her!)
Language Change is Pretty Queer
A living language evolves - otherwise “nice pedant” would mean stupid teacher! Even though singular they is nothing new, this particular usage is. Similarly, all the other terms here are subject to change, and even now, what is the norm in the UK may not be the norm in other English-speaking countries.
In particular, "queer" is currently the umbrella term in the UK for LGBTQ+, so encompassing all the above, and more. However, it's also still used as a slur. Don't be shocked if queer people use it, but if in doubt, avoid using it yourself.
Image: More examples of validating language. (Source.)
See Also
• Sally Hines' Is Gender Fluid?, which I reviewed HERE. It also has a very youthful, funky format, though not comic book.
• Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker’s Life Isn’t Binary, which I reviewed HERE. It starts with sexualities and genders, but goes on to relationships, bodies, emotions, and thinking. Barker likes “they” because “I experience myself as pretty plural”.
• Cordelia Fine’s Delusions of Gender, which I reviewed HERE, an antidote to Mars and Venus.
• Robert Webb's autobiography, How Not to be a Boy, which I reviewed HERE. He rails against the damage gender stereotypes do to men and women.
The book is written and illustrated by Archie (non-binary, who uses they/them pronouns) and Tristan (cis male, who uses he/him). It's a quick, light-hearted, and practical guide to how to use they/them pronouns for those non-binary people who like to be addressed that way (not all do). For example:
"Chris put on their jeans and then they went to the supermarket."
Image: Queer Utopia: not there yet, hence this book.
There’s also a little bit of the why. But not much, because:
Image: It doesn’t matter why!
However, I think many people unfamiliar with the idea that gender isn’t divided rigidly into two distinct categories often do want to understand why: not to pry into the lives of individuals, but to understand the broader issues. You won’t get that context from the book, but you might from this review.
tl;dr
Regardless of how much you understand or approve of this terminology:
• Good manners mean you should try to address people as they want to be addressed, whether that is Khalid, rather than Kal; they, rather than she; or Mrs Webster, rather than Susan. Non-binary people find repeated misgendering demeaning and stressful.
• If in doubt, ask someone what pronouns they use, ideally by giving yours first (never by asking if they’re male or female).
• When you make a mistake, correct yourself, and move on, without making an overwrought apology. Spoiler alert: you will make mistakes.
• Singular "they" is grammatically fine, as explained below.
Basic Terms
"Non-binary", "gender-fluid" or "genderqueer" people don't feel fully, traditionally, or consistently male or female. Like a girl who is a tomboy most of the time, but occasionally likes dressing up in pink frills and doing so-called girly stuff. These people often prefer they/theirs pronouns (instead of he/his or she/hers) and do not like gendered nouns (like woman/man, son/daughter, or girlfriend/boyfriend) applied to them.
Image: Examples of traditional gendered phrases and non-gendered alternatives:
Ladies and gentlemen -> Folks, guests, everyone.
Men and women -> You all, friends.
Guys and gals -> Everyone, anyone.
The lady in the red blouse -> The person in the red shirt.
Grammar of Singular They - it's OK
The grammatical objection is easy to dismiss. Since the demise of thee/thou, you/your has been used as singular and plural. And singular they/their has been used for centuries, by writers including Chaucer, Austen, Byron, Eliot, Trollope, and Dickens, particularly where someone's gender isn't known ("someone left their coat behind"). It's also common generically: in Vanity Fair (1848), Thackeray has Rosalind say "A person can't help their birth.", and I’ve yet to read a review where anyone complains about it.
The authoritative dictionaries and style guides in the English-speaking world accept it, though there seems to be more resistance among US grammar mavens than those in the UK, where it’s always been in common use. If you’re British, see Oxford Dictionaries on the matter. If you’re USican, see Merriam Webster. If you’re in NZ, Canada, Australia, or any other English-speaking country, you’ll have to find your own authority. Here are a couple of excellent analyses of the grammar and history:
* OED Blog: A brief history of singular ‘they’.
* Motivated Grammar: Singular they and the many reasons it’s correct.
You match the verb with "they", which sounds more natural: "they are" and "you are", regardless of the number of people you're referring to (not "they is" or "you is"). For example:
"Chris bought new jeans because they are going to a party tonight."
It can occasionally be ambiguous, but that's easily avoided or fixed, perhaps by repeating the person's name.
Terminology
Back to people. Non-binary people are not necessarily transgender or intersex in the medical sense, though may describe themselves as trans. The only correlation with sexuality is that if your gender is not firmly male or female, you're unlikely to identify as completely straight.
Trans(gender) people feel the gender assigned at birth was wrong, and they transition, not necessarily surgically, to living as an other gender full time, permanently.
"Transvestites" are people who only sometimes dress as their non-birth sex. That term and "transsexual" are often viewed as outdated, or worse, so best avoided.
* Sexuality is OUTward-looking: who you're attracted to.
* Sex is about biology: chromosomes and reproductive organs. Clearcut for most.
* Gender is INward-looking: who you feel you are. It is usually reflected in how you present yourself to the world. For the vast majority of people, their gender corresponds to what the doctor/midwife/parents presumed at birth (the term for that is "cis").
Image: Genderbread Person v3. (Source.)
See also The Gender Unicorn at transstudent.org
Some non-binary people continue to use their gendered birth name and to have a beard or prominent bust. You can’t tell someone’s gender just by looking.
Spectrums and Labels
Whereas sex is usually clear, gender is more a matter of degree (and arguably, a social construct), rather than a binary concept (one of two labels).
The idea that gender is not rigidly binary or tied solely to chromosomes is strange to many of us. However, many cultures had and do have words and roles for such people. It's not a modern western invention. See Wikipedia’s Third Gender page.
I've never doubted that I'm female, but most of the time, I'm not an especially feminine one, so I can understand and empathise to some extent.
What I can't personally relate to is the need for a label, let alone different nouns and pronouns. I can just be a woman who's sometimes a bit of a tomboy (tomman?!). However, my nowq-adult kid is firmly non-binary, as is their spouse, so we use they/them for them individually and as a couple.
Be Kind
For me, it comes back to good manners and empathy, without which it is very difficult to have good relationships. And what relationship is more important than between parents and children?
But it goes both ways. Good manners should be applied to those who don't know, don't understand, or just get muddled by new terminology - hence this book. If I slip up (rare, now), and I don’t correct myself, my husband or child will. But with elderly relatives, we just model the correct pronouns, but don’t correct mistakes. If they love and accept our child, but don’t quite get or remember this new (to them) terminology, that's what is important. Context matters, too: I would be unlikely to correct anyone at a funeral, unless they were misgendering the deceased!
Image: Ways to change your language
Who Is This Book For?
Books like this are important, and the authors have a gentle approach to their mission, but I’m not sure they’ve really thought about their target audience. The format is geared to pre-teens, teens, and YA, but the content is more directed at those unfamiliar with the terminology, most of who are likely to be older. There’s a section on how to introduce gender-neutral awareness in professional settings, for instance. But near the end, there’s a section on coming out as non-binary, which seems aimed more at youthful readers - though obviously one can come out at any age.
In a nice touch, all the people at the publishing house, are listed at the front, giving their name, pronouns, and job title. (But they’re all he/him or she/her!)
Language Change is Pretty Queer
A living language evolves - otherwise “nice pedant” would mean stupid teacher! Even though singular they is nothing new, this particular usage is. Similarly, all the other terms here are subject to change, and even now, what is the norm in the UK may not be the norm in other English-speaking countries.
In particular, "queer" is currently the umbrella term in the UK for LGBTQ+, so encompassing all the above, and more. However, it's also still used as a slur. Don't be shocked if queer people use it, but if in doubt, avoid using it yourself.
Image: More examples of validating language. (Source.)
See Also
• Sally Hines' Is Gender Fluid?, which I reviewed HERE. It also has a very youthful, funky format, though not comic book.
• Alex Iantaffi and Meg-John Barker’s Life Isn’t Binary, which I reviewed HERE. It starts with sexualities and genders, but goes on to relationships, bodies, emotions, and thinking. Barker likes “they” because “I experience myself as pretty plural”.
• Cordelia Fine’s Delusions of Gender, which I reviewed HERE, an antidote to Mars and Venus.
• Robert Webb's autobiography, How Not to be a Boy, which I reviewed HERE. He rails against the damage gender stereotypes do to men and women.
October 11, 2021
It will only take 15-20 minutes to read it folks, so read it and broaden your horizons since there is nothing better than being well-informed and appreciated.
February 26, 2021
3.5★ Edited to recommend people read Yzabel's and Cecily's comments below for suggestions.
“He/She went to the store. = They went to the store.
It belongs to him/her. = It belongs to them.
He said so himself. = They said so themself/themselves.
She said so herself. = They said so themself/themselves.”
This handy little graphic production can help us with language. At the moment it's a 5-star idea whose time has certainly come, but it's maybe a 3-star execution, so I'm splitting the difference.
Genderqueer, genderfluid, non-binary, whatever label is used it means that an individual does not identify as male or female, no matter what they might have been born as. See there, what I did? I did what we often do as shorthand when we don’t want to keep saying “he or she”. . . avoiding saying: no matter what he or she might have been born as.
It’s actually accepted practice in speech and becoming accepted in less than formal writing to use “they” as a singular, and it goes back to at least the 15th century and Shakespeare, in case you were wondering. https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/gra...
Okay, that part is pretty easy. It gets harder when you’re referring to a specific person who either chooses to be identified using gender-neutral pronouns (and they may let you know that when they are introduced – or not), or it’s a person whose gender you can’t identify by the usual visual clues.
The book says if a person named Robert asks to be addressed as Bob, you probably do as you’re asked. The book suggests people will begin letting each other know when they prefer “they” or whatever.
As I’m writing this, there’s a medical program on TV, and a person with a crewcut, dressed in navy scrubs, is speaking to the camera. I have the sound off, and when I glanced up, I wondered if the person was male or female. I couldn’t tell. When the captions came up, the person was identified as “Jen”, so I assume they’re female, but had the name been Sam or Kim or any number of foreign names that are unfamiliar to me, I couldn’t assume anything.
So I might ask someone watching with me “Do you think they’re a man or a woman?” I might say “that person talking”, but I certainly wouldn’t say “it”.
This little handbook has rough cartoons and tries hard to be light-hearted and funny about what is a pretty serious subject. Being “mis-gendered” is embarrassing, just as it’s embarrassing if you ask a woman with a pot-belly when the baby’s due. It happens! We assume a lot from appearances!
People used to make fun of people who shaved their heads, but these days it could be anything from a fashion statement to the results of cancer treatment, and most of us are pretty careful not to assume anything.
When I was about 12, I was on horseback high above the guys driving by me on the track who stopped to look up and ask directions. I had a duck-tail (or a DA, so-called in those days) and was in jeans and cowboy boots, so after I answered their question, one of them said “Thank you, sir or madam, as the case may be.”
I said “It happens to be madam” and laughed, fancying myself a bit of a “cowboy” anyway. I thought it was funny, but if I’d been a boy, I probably would have been devastated!
That’s a personal case of being mis-gendered. (These days, in Australia, they would just have said “Thanks, mate” and left it at that, since that’s handy for anyone.
There are other made-up words that are accepted use instead of they/their, such as Ze, Ne, Xe, and there’s plenty of information on the internet you can google. Here’s one blog. https://genderneutralpronoun.wordpres...
You may not know if there are people in your workplace, school, or community who would prefer gender-neutral pronouns, but this is happening, whether or not you’re ready for it. It’s not the same as the royal “we” or “one”, although that could occasionally be useful.
It’s easy when addressing groups to say “folks” or “people” or “delegates” instead of “ladies and gentleman". And use “students” or “kids” instead of “boys and girls”. If you’re identifying someone in a crowd, you can say “the person in the blue shirt” instead of “the woman in the blue shirt”.
See? But it gets awkward (to me) when you use the example they gave:
“Archie spent all their money on candy. “Archie is eating so much candy that they are sick. Archie has learned nothing and they will continue to eat too much candy. What’s wrong with them?”
In the first sentence, I might think Archie has spent more than just Archie’s money. It’s a bit ambiguous.
I think I could learn to adapt if I were really unsure as to the gender of the person, like the one I just saw on TV. In that case, I’m pretty sure I’d say “That looks like a really easy hairstyle. I bet they don't have to spend any time getting ready for work.”
But if I were convinced they were a male or a female, I’m sure I’d slip and lapse into “he” or “she”.
Food for thought. There are a few inaccuracies in the book at the moment, but I’m hoping they will be corrected. Thanks to NetGalley and Limerence Press for the preview copy.
P.S. And for anyone interested in the use of “they” as singular, it's nice to know it is becoming more accepted in grammar in instances where writers are taught to say “he or she”. Here's an interesting Oxford English Dictionary blog post. https://public.oed.com/blog/a-brief-h...
“He/She went to the store. = They went to the store.
It belongs to him/her. = It belongs to them.
He said so himself. = They said so themself/themselves.
She said so herself. = They said so themself/themselves.”
This handy little graphic production can help us with language. At the moment it's a 5-star idea whose time has certainly come, but it's maybe a 3-star execution, so I'm splitting the difference.
Genderqueer, genderfluid, non-binary, whatever label is used it means that an individual does not identify as male or female, no matter what they might have been born as. See there, what I did? I did what we often do as shorthand when we don’t want to keep saying “he or she”. . . avoiding saying: no matter what he or she might have been born as.
It’s actually accepted practice in speech and becoming accepted in less than formal writing to use “they” as a singular, and it goes back to at least the 15th century and Shakespeare, in case you were wondering. https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/gra...
Okay, that part is pretty easy. It gets harder when you’re referring to a specific person who either chooses to be identified using gender-neutral pronouns (and they may let you know that when they are introduced – or not), or it’s a person whose gender you can’t identify by the usual visual clues.
The book says if a person named Robert asks to be addressed as Bob, you probably do as you’re asked. The book suggests people will begin letting each other know when they prefer “they” or whatever.
As I’m writing this, there’s a medical program on TV, and a person with a crewcut, dressed in navy scrubs, is speaking to the camera. I have the sound off, and when I glanced up, I wondered if the person was male or female. I couldn’t tell. When the captions came up, the person was identified as “Jen”, so I assume they’re female, but had the name been Sam or Kim or any number of foreign names that are unfamiliar to me, I couldn’t assume anything.
So I might ask someone watching with me “Do you think they’re a man or a woman?” I might say “that person talking”, but I certainly wouldn’t say “it”.
This little handbook has rough cartoons and tries hard to be light-hearted and funny about what is a pretty serious subject. Being “mis-gendered” is embarrassing, just as it’s embarrassing if you ask a woman with a pot-belly when the baby’s due. It happens! We assume a lot from appearances!
People used to make fun of people who shaved their heads, but these days it could be anything from a fashion statement to the results of cancer treatment, and most of us are pretty careful not to assume anything.
When I was about 12, I was on horseback high above the guys driving by me on the track who stopped to look up and ask directions. I had a duck-tail (or a DA, so-called in those days) and was in jeans and cowboy boots, so after I answered their question, one of them said “Thank you, sir or madam, as the case may be.”
I said “It happens to be madam” and laughed, fancying myself a bit of a “cowboy” anyway. I thought it was funny, but if I’d been a boy, I probably would have been devastated!
That’s a personal case of being mis-gendered. (These days, in Australia, they would just have said “Thanks, mate” and left it at that, since that’s handy for anyone.
There are other made-up words that are accepted use instead of they/their, such as Ze, Ne, Xe, and there’s plenty of information on the internet you can google. Here’s one blog. https://genderneutralpronoun.wordpres...
You may not know if there are people in your workplace, school, or community who would prefer gender-neutral pronouns, but this is happening, whether or not you’re ready for it. It’s not the same as the royal “we” or “one”, although that could occasionally be useful.
It’s easy when addressing groups to say “folks” or “people” or “delegates” instead of “ladies and gentleman". And use “students” or “kids” instead of “boys and girls”. If you’re identifying someone in a crowd, you can say “the person in the blue shirt” instead of “the woman in the blue shirt”.
See? But it gets awkward (to me) when you use the example they gave:
“Archie spent all their money on candy. “Archie is eating so much candy that they are sick. Archie has learned nothing and they will continue to eat too much candy. What’s wrong with them?”
In the first sentence, I might think Archie has spent more than just Archie’s money. It’s a bit ambiguous.
I think I could learn to adapt if I were really unsure as to the gender of the person, like the one I just saw on TV. In that case, I’m pretty sure I’d say “That looks like a really easy hairstyle. I bet they don't have to spend any time getting ready for work.”
But if I were convinced they were a male or a female, I’m sure I’d slip and lapse into “he” or “she”.
Food for thought. There are a few inaccuracies in the book at the moment, but I’m hoping they will be corrected. Thanks to NetGalley and Limerence Press for the preview copy.
P.S. And for anyone interested in the use of “they” as singular, it's nice to know it is becoming more accepted in grammar in instances where writers are taught to say “he or she”. Here's an interesting Oxford English Dictionary blog post. https://public.oed.com/blog/a-brief-h...
May 28, 2018
I was sent this book as an advanced copy by the publisher via NetGalley for reviewing purposes, but all opinions are my own.
I picked this up from the Read Now shelf on netgalley hoping to find something informative that I could recommend others, and that's exactly what this was. I knew almost everything that was in this short comic, but I still learned some new stuff. Since English isn't my first language, I found the quick guides on how to use gender-neutral language pretty useful because sometimes I'm not sure what terms are gendered and which aren't or how to substitute a gendered noun etc.
Throughout the book I was also trying to put myself in the shoes of someone who's completely new to the concept of non-binary people and read it through their eyes. I think the authors did a great job at summarizing both the technicalities of gender-neutral language and the effects that misgendering may have on genderqueer people. Everything was backed up by useful, everyday examples.
The first part of the comic is directed at cis people who want to learn about gender-neutral language (especially using they/them when talking to/about someone who uses these pronouns) and want to support their enby friends. The second part is directed at non-binary people themselves, with advice on what to do in different situations.
I feel weird judging a book like this because I don't think it's really my place, but I definitely recommend reading it if you're new to these concepts and also if you're cis and an ally but still want a reminder of what to do and not to do. It's also something great to buy (once it comes out as a physical copy) and leave at your workplace (like suggested in the book itself) or anywhere you might want to implement gender-neutral language to help your non-binary colleagues/friends feel included.
I picked this up from the Read Now shelf on netgalley hoping to find something informative that I could recommend others, and that's exactly what this was. I knew almost everything that was in this short comic, but I still learned some new stuff. Since English isn't my first language, I found the quick guides on how to use gender-neutral language pretty useful because sometimes I'm not sure what terms are gendered and which aren't or how to substitute a gendered noun etc.
Throughout the book I was also trying to put myself in the shoes of someone who's completely new to the concept of non-binary people and read it through their eyes. I think the authors did a great job at summarizing both the technicalities of gender-neutral language and the effects that misgendering may have on genderqueer people. Everything was backed up by useful, everyday examples.
The first part of the comic is directed at cis people who want to learn about gender-neutral language (especially using they/them when talking to/about someone who uses these pronouns) and want to support their enby friends. The second part is directed at non-binary people themselves, with advice on what to do in different situations.
I feel weird judging a book like this because I don't think it's really my place, but I definitely recommend reading it if you're new to these concepts and also if you're cis and an ally but still want a reminder of what to do and not to do. It's also something great to buy (once it comes out as a physical copy) and leave at your workplace (like suggested in the book itself) or anywhere you might want to implement gender-neutral language to help your non-binary colleagues/friends feel included.
September 2, 2018
This is a great little guide for anyone with questions about people who use alternative pronouns like They/Them or Zir/Zim. This is about non-binary or gender non-comforming people. They don't feel like they are on either spectrum, but they are in the middle.
I spent a few summers working at Camp Aranu'tiq where there were several non-binary people. It was an awesome summer working with kids. I have to say, I had a hard time with this and mis-pronouned often. I got very mad at myself for having such a problem with it. I have gotten much better about it. It is a totally different mindset and I had to really undo much of what I learned as a kid. It's not easy, but it makes non-binary people feel so accepted if I can just use their preferred pronoun. It is also focusing more on something else than gender. The person in the paisley shirt instead of her or woman.
The guide is amazing and easy to read and explains things well. It really does make a great gift to help make the world a better place.
I spent a few summers working at Camp Aranu'tiq where there were several non-binary people. It was an awesome summer working with kids. I have to say, I had a hard time with this and mis-pronouned often. I got very mad at myself for having such a problem with it. I have gotten much better about it. It is a totally different mindset and I had to really undo much of what I learned as a kid. It's not easy, but it makes non-binary people feel so accepted if I can just use their preferred pronoun. It is also focusing more on something else than gender. The person in the paisley shirt instead of her or woman.
The guide is amazing and easy to read and explains things well. It really does make a great gift to help make the world a better place.
June 13, 2018
A fun, easy introduction to they/them pronouns with some pretty awesome graphics to boot.
I'm no novice when it comes to trans issues, but I'll admit that I know much less about people who identify as genderqueer.
I knew a person who identified as genderqueer when I was in college, but has since adapted she/her pronouns, so my first-hand knowledge of someone who is genderfluid or genderqueer is extremely limited. However, I'm always up to learn and grow as a person in this crazy world we live in, and understanding different people and different perspectives in a big part of that journey.
My favorite part of this little book was the really skilled artistry of the comics. They were fun with informative with witty dialogue, and it easily kept me reading and engaged. I learned a number of things as well, and any take-away from a book like this one is meaningful.
I like that this book furthers the dialogue between cis people and their trans/genderqueer acquaintances and friends, and I think it would be a good starter book for someone who wants to learn the basics of gender-neutral pronouns.
*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*
I'm no novice when it comes to trans issues, but I'll admit that I know much less about people who identify as genderqueer.
I knew a person who identified as genderqueer when I was in college, but has since adapted she/her pronouns, so my first-hand knowledge of someone who is genderfluid or genderqueer is extremely limited. However, I'm always up to learn and grow as a person in this crazy world we live in, and understanding different people and different perspectives in a big part of that journey.
My favorite part of this little book was the really skilled artistry of the comics. They were fun with informative with witty dialogue, and it easily kept me reading and engaged. I learned a number of things as well, and any take-away from a book like this one is meaningful.
I like that this book furthers the dialogue between cis people and their trans/genderqueer acquaintances and friends, and I think it would be a good starter book for someone who wants to learn the basics of gender-neutral pronouns.
*Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*
November 19, 2021
I went in with doubts as to how they were going to get 64 pages out of this, but ended up satisfied and entertained.
Information and advice is dished out with a light hand. It's an easy read with some actual content that I could see being useful in the workplace.
Something I'm not sure pronoun-conscious queer folks & allies are fully aware of is that the average person, at least in America, has NO IDEA what a pronoun is. It's one of those things they "learned" in school, but I bet that even with a gun held to their head and facing the threat of death, 80% of Americans could not define 'pronoun' or give an example of one. So! There is definitely a niche for this book.
Hey, that was me! Where "queer book club" was "m/m discussion group on Goodreads." Love you guys. 💜💙💚💛🧡❤️
This was cute enough that after reading it on Hoopla I'll probably buy myself a copy.
Information and advice is dished out with a light hand. It's an easy read with some actual content that I could see being useful in the workplace.
Something I'm not sure pronoun-conscious queer folks & allies are fully aware of is that the average person, at least in America, has NO IDEA what a pronoun is. It's one of those things they "learned" in school, but I bet that even with a gun held to their head and facing the threat of death, 80% of Americans could not define 'pronoun' or give an example of one. So! There is definitely a niche for this book.
Hey, that was me! Where "queer book club" was "m/m discussion group on Goodreads." Love you guys. 💜💙💚💛🧡❤️
This was cute enough that after reading it on Hoopla I'll probably buy myself a copy.
July 24, 2021
I came across this book at a library. I was there to study, but got distracted and read this short little (terrible) book.
The book was basically a threat (in the form of comic strips) that if you don’t use someone’s preferred pronouns, you’re rude, lazy, and selfish. If you don’t care about being any of those things, remember you can get fired from your job. That’s actually what the books says.
It claimed that to assume someone’s gender before you know it is akin to assuming someone’s name before you know their name.
It takes 3 seconds to think through the ridiculousness of this. You can discern someone’s sex 99% of the time. There’s biological realities to this.
Within that ambiguous 1%, there are some people for whom it’s just hard to tell. For LGBT people in that one percent, it is often difficult to discern their sex because they purposefully try, with gender neutral clothing, body alterations, hair dye, surgery, “hormone therapy”, etc., to cover up the beautiful and good sexual design God gave to them at birth. In such cases, it is no wonder they would be “misgendered”.
The LGBT+++ movement has been launching an assault on language, and this book does just that. Instead of having a sex and nothing more, you now have a gender, birth sex, and sexual orientation. So “male” and “female” are no different than “Bob” and “Sally”. Just words assigned to you that do not define you biologically.
“When your friend Robert asks you to call him Bob, you don’t think twice about it. So why are you being a jerk about this?”
I’ve known for a while the LGBT usage of “they/them” but never realized how crazy this sounds in practice. Here’s how the book demands you speak:
“Archie spent all their money on candy”
“Archie and I have been pals for years, so I knew them before they came out as non-binary.”
Why use gender neutral pronouns you ask? The answer given: “It doesn’t stinking matter” and “you aren’t owed an explanation or reason for someone wanting to use different pronouns. It’s your responsibility as a decent human being to learn and use whatever pronouns they ask you to.”
“Instead of using gender as a descriptor [for a customer] use their clothing or hair: ‘that person in the green shirt’” So, since when did colors become objective realities we can use as a universal standard in language? And not one’s sex? What is green? What is male? What is anything?¿?¿
When will the concept of green become offensive and meaningless? This is all a deterioration of language and truth.
This is a truly crazy book that reflects a truly crazy subculture trying to demand the whole culture adhere to its laws.
The book was basically a threat (in the form of comic strips) that if you don’t use someone’s preferred pronouns, you’re rude, lazy, and selfish. If you don’t care about being any of those things, remember you can get fired from your job. That’s actually what the books says.
It claimed that to assume someone’s gender before you know it is akin to assuming someone’s name before you know their name.
It takes 3 seconds to think through the ridiculousness of this. You can discern someone’s sex 99% of the time. There’s biological realities to this.
Within that ambiguous 1%, there are some people for whom it’s just hard to tell. For LGBT people in that one percent, it is often difficult to discern their sex because they purposefully try, with gender neutral clothing, body alterations, hair dye, surgery, “hormone therapy”, etc., to cover up the beautiful and good sexual design God gave to them at birth. In such cases, it is no wonder they would be “misgendered”.
The LGBT+++ movement has been launching an assault on language, and this book does just that. Instead of having a sex and nothing more, you now have a gender, birth sex, and sexual orientation. So “male” and “female” are no different than “Bob” and “Sally”. Just words assigned to you that do not define you biologically.
“When your friend Robert asks you to call him Bob, you don’t think twice about it. So why are you being a jerk about this?”
I’ve known for a while the LGBT usage of “they/them” but never realized how crazy this sounds in practice. Here’s how the book demands you speak:
“Archie spent all their money on candy”
“Archie and I have been pals for years, so I knew them before they came out as non-binary.”
Why use gender neutral pronouns you ask? The answer given: “It doesn’t stinking matter” and “you aren’t owed an explanation or reason for someone wanting to use different pronouns. It’s your responsibility as a decent human being to learn and use whatever pronouns they ask you to.”
“Instead of using gender as a descriptor [for a customer] use their clothing or hair: ‘that person in the green shirt’” So, since when did colors become objective realities we can use as a universal standard in language? And not one’s sex? What is green? What is male? What is anything?¿?¿
When will the concept of green become offensive and meaningless? This is all a deterioration of language and truth.
This is a truly crazy book that reflects a truly crazy subculture trying to demand the whole culture adhere to its laws.
July 16, 2019
I received a free copy of this book from NetGalley
This is very simple beginner's guide to they/them pronouns. I've already known pretty much all of those information but the thing is it took me a lot of TIME to learn that and while I do not think that time was wasted I wish I had a guide like this one back when I first learned that there are more than two genders. Coming from a conservative family, those concepts were completely new to me and I didn't know where to start - this book is a good start. It covers all the basic aspects in an approachable funny way and encourages to look up more information.
This book not only gives practical information but also explains the emotions caused by being misgendered and Why You Should Care.
The second part contains some advice to non-binary people on coming out, cuting people out, and reaching out for support.
This is very simple beginner's guide to they/them pronouns. I've already known pretty much all of those information but the thing is it took me a lot of TIME to learn that and while I do not think that time was wasted I wish I had a guide like this one back when I first learned that there are more than two genders. Coming from a conservative family, those concepts were completely new to me and I didn't know where to start - this book is a good start. It covers all the basic aspects in an approachable funny way and encourages to look up more information.
This book not only gives practical information but also explains the emotions caused by being misgendered and Why You Should Care.
The second part contains some advice to non-binary people on coming out, cuting people out, and reaching out for support.
__________________________
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March 22, 2019
Demanding obedience in using they/them pronouns, the authors literally threaten the reader with all sorts of penalties that will be levied against dissenters once the gender-neutral police seize control of the world. There's no actual explanation of why anyone would want to be referred to by they/them pronouns, just a lot of complaining that not doing so is somehow hurtful, with anything that would actually justify the need for a book such as this apparently not being as important as the pages upon pages running over with godawful millennial snark.
Such a poor case is made by this book that I'm coming out convinced that there are just no real problems in the world anymore, and people who enjoy feeling put upon have to invent new things to be "problems" just so they can feel bad about something again.
Such a poor case is made by this book that I'm coming out convinced that there are just no real problems in the world anymore, and people who enjoy feeling put upon have to invent new things to be "problems" just so they can feel bad about something again.
April 5, 2018
Thanks to Netgalley for providing a free copy of this book.
Brief, concise and relevant. This book is so important, especially for those who are just finding out about gender-neutral pronouns. The authors tried to keep it simple and quick to read, and they succeeded. I loved the dynamics between the two narrators. It is funny and light-hearted but doesn't neglect the weight nor the significance of the topic at any time. Everyone should read this.
Brief, concise and relevant. This book is so important, especially for those who are just finding out about gender-neutral pronouns. The authors tried to keep it simple and quick to read, and they succeeded. I loved the dynamics between the two narrators. It is funny and light-hearted but doesn't neglect the weight nor the significance of the topic at any time. Everyone should read this.
January 4, 2019
A quick and easy guide to they/them pronouns, just like it says. It doesn't really get into the weeds of gender identity and why some folks might identify as non-binary, which I think is actually great - just respect people's pronouns. They don't need to give anyone a reason for preferring "they/them."
June 9, 2018
4.5 stars
Everyone needs to read this.
This tiny, 64 page book is not only so important to not being a rude and immoral person, but it's also got cute illustrations & is funny. I do wish it talked more about gender neutral pronouns besides they/them, but this is a really good introduction to the topic.
It's such a great guide for both introducing people to they/them pronouns or revisiting the topic on in a way that makes it fun and just a sweet, perfectly-timed-for-pride-month sort of read.
I think one of the first things I need to start this off with is the illustrations and the book itself. I LOVE LOVE LOVE how it's small, simple, clear, and easy to read. It's also intentionally priced on the lower scale so you can buy multiple copies and share them, if you wanted to.
I feel like this one quote from the book really sums it up well:
See?! There's just one more use for it. It's purposely meant to be educational, but fun in a way that even if you are well-informed about they/them (and other gender neutral pronouns), it can still be an entertaining and relatable read. (As in agreeing that some people are assholes.)
The illustrations are monochromatic in black, white, and shades of grey, and it is a comic, so it features cartoon sketches of both the authors as they talk and act out examples and circumstances for the reader.
Where the half star fell off was just kind of me being picky about the book. I kind of wish the illustrations played a more important role to the text. It felt like you could read this whole book without looking at the pictures, and I wanted a little more interaction between words and graphics.
Despite this, I feel like the graphics still added an extra layer to the work, making it fun and a little goofy and good for really emphasizing the point.
This book is just so important in general because people need to be respectful about these things. It might not be able to convert the staunchest, stubbornest of people who hate anything that isn't cis het white, but I think it's really good if you wanted to introduce a friend who's not really exposed to these things a lot to just make them a little more "woke."
It's undeninable that we should use the proper pronouns for people (anyone who thinks otherwise can unfollow me now; thank you for coming to my TED talk) and this book is a good way to help ensure that more people know about this.
I guess I should mention that I found the book to be pretty spot on (if it's important to you to know, one of the authors is #OwnVoices) and it was fun and light and a speedy 30 minute read.
The authors did a really good way of rationalizing some of the content for some possibly more stubborn readers, and I think it's really great that they're making this book, even though it's not their job to educate people. (Just like it's not POC's job to educate you about the POC experience).
This was a really quick but fun read, even though I'm already aware of they/them pronouns and how to use them. Despite this, the authors introduce a couple of new ways of bringing up things like how to ask someone what their pronoun is, which I feel like I could use in the future. Overall, I definitely recommend you pick this up, whether it's on loan from a friend or ordering your own copy for less than $8.
Thank you so much to Margot Wood and Oni Press for sending me an advance reader's copy in exchange for an honest review!
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Everyone needs to read this.
This tiny, 64 page book is not only so important to not being a rude and immoral person, but it's also got cute illustrations & is funny. I do wish it talked more about gender neutral pronouns besides they/them, but this is a really good introduction to the topic.
It's such a great guide for both introducing people to they/them pronouns or revisiting the topic on in a way that makes it fun and just a sweet, perfectly-timed-for-pride-month sort of read.
I think one of the first things I need to start this off with is the illustrations and the book itself. I LOVE LOVE LOVE how it's small, simple, clear, and easy to read. It's also intentionally priced on the lower scale so you can buy multiple copies and share them, if you wanted to.
I feel like this one quote from the book really sums it up well:
Also, if education fails and folks are just being jerks, you can just throw this book in their face.
See?! There's just one more use for it. It's purposely meant to be educational, but fun in a way that even if you are well-informed about they/them (and other gender neutral pronouns), it can still be an entertaining and relatable read. (As in agreeing that some people are assholes.)
The illustrations are monochromatic in black, white, and shades of grey, and it is a comic, so it features cartoon sketches of both the authors as they talk and act out examples and circumstances for the reader.
Where the half star fell off was just kind of me being picky about the book. I kind of wish the illustrations played a more important role to the text. It felt like you could read this whole book without looking at the pictures, and I wanted a little more interaction between words and graphics.
Despite this, I feel like the graphics still added an extra layer to the work, making it fun and a little goofy and good for really emphasizing the point.
This book is just so important in general because people need to be respectful about these things. It might not be able to convert the staunchest, stubbornest of people who hate anything that isn't cis het white, but I think it's really good if you wanted to introduce a friend who's not really exposed to these things a lot to just make them a little more "woke."
It's undeninable that we should use the proper pronouns for people (anyone who thinks otherwise can unfollow me now; thank you for coming to my TED talk) and this book is a good way to help ensure that more people know about this.
I guess I should mention that I found the book to be pretty spot on (if it's important to you to know, one of the authors is #OwnVoices) and it was fun and light and a speedy 30 minute read.
The authors did a really good way of rationalizing some of the content for some possibly more stubborn readers, and I think it's really great that they're making this book, even though it's not their job to educate people. (Just like it's not POC's job to educate you about the POC experience).
This was a really quick but fun read, even though I'm already aware of they/them pronouns and how to use them. Despite this, the authors introduce a couple of new ways of bringing up things like how to ask someone what their pronoun is, which I feel like I could use in the future. Overall, I definitely recommend you pick this up, whether it's on loan from a friend or ordering your own copy for less than $8.
Thank you so much to Margot Wood and Oni Press for sending me an advance reader's copy in exchange for an honest review!
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June 14, 2018
Bought two copies of this (one for me and one for my parents) and am so glad I did! As someone who uses they/them pronouns, this zine feels like a godsend to be able to give to people in my life. I found it to be funny, super helpful, and relatable. Thanks so much for making this!!!!!
May 6, 2018
[I received a copy of this book through NetGalley.]
This is a very short book in the shape of a graphic novel/comics, so there’s no excuse not to read it. ;)
While I’m not particularly vocal about it when I write book reviews, and while the name I use is ‘feminine’, I don’t identify as a woman—my sex is female, but my gender is non-binary (more specifically, agender). So, it’s always mildly annoying at best when people keep referring to me as ‘she’. Sometimes they just don’t know, and of course, if I don’t tell them, they won’t know… therefore I tell them. Sometimes, too, other people just don’t care, or it forces them to reevaluate their paradigm, and, well, things don’t go so well in such cases.
Therefore I truly appreciate such books as this one—short and to the point, again: no excuse—that explain what it’s all about, and why it matters. Because being called ‘she’ is as much incomfortable for me as it is for a man who identifies as a man to be called ‘she’, for instance. (Also, for the grammar purists who say that ‘there’s only he and she pronouns, and they as a singular isn’t right’: singular they has been in use since the 14th century or so. Just saying.)
To be honest, I’m not entirely fan of the graphic style here; however, it is cute, with fun moments, and the art IMHO isn’t what matters the most in this book.
Except for a couple of things I wasn’t too sure about, mostly the two characters (Archie and Tristan) run you through a quick explanation of non-binary vs. cisgender (‘quick’, because the whole thing detailed would take a book of its own), situations about how to use they/them pronouns, and examples of misgendering and how to react to it tastefully, whether you’re the one being misgendered or an ally. Among such situations, when loved ones misgender you, but you know they’re supportive in plenty of other ways, ranting is not useful. But sometimes, too, when people deliberately refuse to acknowledge you (binary or non-binary, this is part of your identity, after all), and make fun of you and/or are deliberately hurtful, it’s also good to be reminded that it’s OK to let go of what is, all in all, abusive. It’s not easy to accept… but it’s true.
This book is a good introduction to the matter, easy to follow and understand, and one that you can also apply to other pronouns like ze/hir (yes, there are more than just the few mentioned here). Even though it’s not exhaustive, it paves the way for further reading for anyone who’s interested.
This is a very short book in the shape of a graphic novel/comics, so there’s no excuse not to read it. ;)
While I’m not particularly vocal about it when I write book reviews, and while the name I use is ‘feminine’, I don’t identify as a woman—my sex is female, but my gender is non-binary (more specifically, agender). So, it’s always mildly annoying at best when people keep referring to me as ‘she’. Sometimes they just don’t know, and of course, if I don’t tell them, they won’t know… therefore I tell them. Sometimes, too, other people just don’t care, or it forces them to reevaluate their paradigm, and, well, things don’t go so well in such cases.
Therefore I truly appreciate such books as this one—short and to the point, again: no excuse—that explain what it’s all about, and why it matters. Because being called ‘she’ is as much incomfortable for me as it is for a man who identifies as a man to be called ‘she’, for instance. (Also, for the grammar purists who say that ‘there’s only he and she pronouns, and they as a singular isn’t right’: singular they has been in use since the 14th century or so. Just saying.)
To be honest, I’m not entirely fan of the graphic style here; however, it is cute, with fun moments, and the art IMHO isn’t what matters the most in this book.
Except for a couple of things I wasn’t too sure about, mostly the two characters (Archie and Tristan) run you through a quick explanation of non-binary vs. cisgender (‘quick’, because the whole thing detailed would take a book of its own), situations about how to use they/them pronouns, and examples of misgendering and how to react to it tastefully, whether you’re the one being misgendered or an ally. Among such situations, when loved ones misgender you, but you know they’re supportive in plenty of other ways, ranting is not useful. But sometimes, too, when people deliberately refuse to acknowledge you (binary or non-binary, this is part of your identity, after all), and make fun of you and/or are deliberately hurtful, it’s also good to be reminded that it’s OK to let go of what is, all in all, abusive. It’s not easy to accept… but it’s true.
This book is a good introduction to the matter, easy to follow and understand, and one that you can also apply to other pronouns like ze/hir (yes, there are more than just the few mentioned here). Even though it’s not exhaustive, it paves the way for further reading for anyone who’s interested.
February 4, 2023
I really liked this book! Helpful and informative, the format was fun to read (animated comic) and I appreciated that it was empathetic to both non-cisgender/non-hetero people and cis-gender/hetero people still learning and processing a new (to them) way of viewing others. I wish it were a bit more
in depth about the process of realizing that oneself is non-binary, and the complexities behind that, but I’m sure there are other books for this.
in depth about the process of realizing that oneself is non-binary, and the complexities behind that, but I’m sure there are other books for this.
October 25, 2019
An excellent introduction to gender neutral pronouns--how to use them, how to correct a mistake in using the wrong ones, and how to adapt your language to be more inclusive. By changing a few simple words to a few other simple words, you can not only make your language more inclusive, but also make sure you don't offend anyone by misgendering them. Jimerson introduced neutral language into his business and much of the advice could definitely be used in a training session at a business or any other situation where a large group of people are working together. Much of the advice was stuff I had picked up from a variety of sources over the years, but it was nice to see all of that validated and compiled into a short comic like this!
Definitely recommended for anyone who wants to be a better ally!
Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a free copy to review!
(Cross posted on my blog.)
Definitely recommended for anyone who wants to be a better ally!
Thank you to NetGalley for providing me with a free copy to review!
(Cross posted on my blog.)
July 1, 2018
This book delivers on the promise of the title. I think I read the whole thing in less than 20 minutes. I hope it gets picked up by a lot of people with a desire to learn more and support their communities.
May 8, 2018
This was a great little intro guide to using they/them pronouns! It’s targeted toward both people who use they/them pronouns as well as their friends/family/coworkers/acquaintances/etc.
March 24, 2018
This is a quick little book that is pretty much what it says on the tin. For those of you who have never heard of they/them pronouns, this is a quick and easy way to learn about it. For those of you who know about the use of these pronouns, and have used them the right way, you are free to skip this lesson. But for those of you know who not only don't know, but don't know why they should know, this is a great book to start with.
The book is co-written by a Cis man, and a transgender gender fluid person. Between the two of them, they explain why it is important to use the proper pronouns around people who request that. There are plenty of examples of how to ask and how to find out what pronoun to use, and the wrong way to ask.
And while you may think this would never apply to you, you might be surprised. I currently know two transgender, gender fluid individuals, and I have to constantly make sure I am using their pronouns of choice. Once you get used to it, it gets easier.
Below is an example of the style of the cartoons, as well as the writing.
Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.
The book is co-written by a Cis man, and a transgender gender fluid person. Between the two of them, they explain why it is important to use the proper pronouns around people who request that. There are plenty of examples of how to ask and how to find out what pronoun to use, and the wrong way to ask.
And while you may think this would never apply to you, you might be surprised. I currently know two transgender, gender fluid individuals, and I have to constantly make sure I am using their pronouns of choice. Once you get used to it, it gets easier.
Below is an example of the style of the cartoons, as well as the writing.
Thanks to Netgalley for making this book available for an honest review.
November 20, 2018
Quick, funny, insightful and educative.
I consider myself to be a fairly open-minded person when it comes to gender issues but I'll be the first to admit that the gender neutral/gender fluid/non-binary end of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum leaves me fuzzy as hell. This book went a long way to clear some of the fuzz on my brain.
It was sharp , to the point, had great visuals (it is a graphic/comic novel) and managed to convey important information to the reader. It also made very poignant statements that helped me immensely. Some of which are:
Archie - "Part of being an ally is to correct others when they make mistakes even if it makes you uncomfortable"
Tristan - "Awww,but I wanted my "good ally sticker without having any hard conversations or making anyone in my life middle uncomfortable." - This cracked me up!But, was deep as well.
"I mean, when your friend Robert asks you to call him Bob, you don't think twice about it.So why are you being a jerk about this?" - This made me laugh, then pause with a dramatic "Oh."
This book is in no way a comprehensive guide to all things gender neutral/non-binary/gender fluid but it certainly went a long way to lay the foundations upon which I hope to build further knowledge on. Loved it.
Review Copy Graciously Provided By Publisher via NetGalley In Exchange for An Honest, Unbiased, Review
I consider myself to be a fairly open-minded person when it comes to gender issues but I'll be the first to admit that the gender neutral/gender fluid/non-binary end of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum leaves me fuzzy as hell. This book went a long way to clear some of the fuzz on my brain.
It was sharp , to the point, had great visuals (it is a graphic/comic novel) and managed to convey important information to the reader. It also made very poignant statements that helped me immensely. Some of which are:
Archie - "Part of being an ally is to correct others when they make mistakes even if it makes you uncomfortable"
Tristan - "Awww,but I wanted my "good ally sticker without having any hard conversations or making anyone in my life middle uncomfortable." - This cracked me up!But, was deep as well.
"I mean, when your friend Robert asks you to call him Bob, you don't think twice about it.So why are you being a jerk about this?" - This made me laugh, then pause with a dramatic "Oh."
This book is in no way a comprehensive guide to all things gender neutral/non-binary/gender fluid but it certainly went a long way to lay the foundations upon which I hope to build further knowledge on. Loved it.
Review Copy Graciously Provided By Publisher via NetGalley In Exchange for An Honest, Unbiased, Review
May 27, 2018
It’s our responsibility as a decent human being to learn and use whatever pronouns they ask us to.
A quick educating guide with nice graphic how to use pronouns.
A quick educating guide with nice graphic how to use pronouns.
October 23, 2018
Reviewed for The Bibliophibian.
Received to review via Netgalley
A lot of people now use gender-neutral pronouns, and singular ‘they’ is one of the more universal and (to my mind) easy to adjust to choices. Not that I object to zie/hir on principle (though some people do because those pronouns sound like gendered pronouns in their own language; this is not a personal bother of mine, but I keep it in mind), but ‘they’ is already something we know how to use, and they doesn’t always have to mean plural (despite what people say). This is basically a guide focused on how to respect the pronoun choices of people who identify as non-binary… or just want to use neutral pronouns for reasons of their own. It’s an easy and simple read, though I find myself wondering if the people who could really use the education would ever bother to read it.
It’s also… not 100% right. There’s a whole bit about how saying “preferred pronouns” is disrespectful. I totally understand that argument — most people don’t prefer to be called she/her, they are a she/her — but I hesitate about it too because people to whom it doesn’t apply tend to take that too far. I’ve been scolded for saying I personally have preferred pronouns, even though that’s the case. I use they/them in some contexts, and refer to them as my “preferred” pronouns, because they are. However, nobody who meets me in real life is ever going to think there’s any grounds for ambiguity, and I don’t mind it in that context; it’s all about context for me and what’s comfortable in a given place/time. Often online I just let people make whatever assumption they want: it doesn’t matter to me, and I don’t usually have strong feelings either way (unless someone is being sexist or something). But still: at the end of it, they/them/their are my preferred pronouns by default.
So yeah, don’t go thinking this book is the bible of gender-neutral pronouns and can’t be wrong. But otherwise, it’s a good resource for explaining to someone willing to learn. The art it nothing special, but the expressions, etc, add some humour and flavour to it.
Received to review via Netgalley
A lot of people now use gender-neutral pronouns, and singular ‘they’ is one of the more universal and (to my mind) easy to adjust to choices. Not that I object to zie/hir on principle (though some people do because those pronouns sound like gendered pronouns in their own language; this is not a personal bother of mine, but I keep it in mind), but ‘they’ is already something we know how to use, and they doesn’t always have to mean plural (despite what people say). This is basically a guide focused on how to respect the pronoun choices of people who identify as non-binary… or just want to use neutral pronouns for reasons of their own. It’s an easy and simple read, though I find myself wondering if the people who could really use the education would ever bother to read it.
It’s also… not 100% right. There’s a whole bit about how saying “preferred pronouns” is disrespectful. I totally understand that argument — most people don’t prefer to be called she/her, they are a she/her — but I hesitate about it too because people to whom it doesn’t apply tend to take that too far. I’ve been scolded for saying I personally have preferred pronouns, even though that’s the case. I use they/them in some contexts, and refer to them as my “preferred” pronouns, because they are. However, nobody who meets me in real life is ever going to think there’s any grounds for ambiguity, and I don’t mind it in that context; it’s all about context for me and what’s comfortable in a given place/time. Often online I just let people make whatever assumption they want: it doesn’t matter to me, and I don’t usually have strong feelings either way (unless someone is being sexist or something). But still: at the end of it, they/them/their are my preferred pronouns by default.
So yeah, don’t go thinking this book is the bible of gender-neutral pronouns and can’t be wrong. But otherwise, it’s a good resource for explaining to someone willing to learn. The art it nothing special, but the expressions, etc, add some humour and flavour to it.
July 11, 2018
Plenty of people are going to talk about the relevance of this book as it pertains to intersex, non-binary, genderqueer, gender fluid, and trans individuals, so I'm going to take a different approach and argue that this book is a fantastic demonstration of the relevance and vital quality of the medium of comics.
Archie Bongiovanni and Tristan Jimerson do an incredible job of using comics to explain memory, emotion, identity, and the complexities of human interaction in a simple little book, that one might almost call a pamphlet. The scenes and moments of this book could almost surely be reproduced in prose, however by using comics in place of prose the reader is able to observe the emotions of Bongiovanni as they react to being misgendered, they are able to observe the emotions of Jimerson as he attempts to understand what his privilege, and the emotional rhetoric of these interactions are far more observable because of the visual medium. The reader is able to see that this is not just an empty collection of words, but real people expressing the real depth implied by an issue that many would probably scoff at.
As a cisgender man, this book was fascinating to read, and as a lover of comics this book was a delight because it was a reminder that the medium can offer a dimension that other art forms cannot. This book is important and relevant, and the reader should take a moment to read this wonderful book.
Archie Bongiovanni and Tristan Jimerson do an incredible job of using comics to explain memory, emotion, identity, and the complexities of human interaction in a simple little book, that one might almost call a pamphlet. The scenes and moments of this book could almost surely be reproduced in prose, however by using comics in place of prose the reader is able to observe the emotions of Bongiovanni as they react to being misgendered, they are able to observe the emotions of Jimerson as he attempts to understand what his privilege, and the emotional rhetoric of these interactions are far more observable because of the visual medium. The reader is able to see that this is not just an empty collection of words, but real people expressing the real depth implied by an issue that many would probably scoff at.
As a cisgender man, this book was fascinating to read, and as a lover of comics this book was a delight because it was a reminder that the medium can offer a dimension that other art forms cannot. This book is important and relevant, and the reader should take a moment to read this wonderful book.
April 7, 2018
"A Quick & Easy Guide to They/Them Pronouns" is one of those reads that may be complementary for anybody who wants to learn more about how to be a part of today's society. In this book authors try to explain the gender neutral pronouns to the simple-minded folks (like myself) who aim to educate themselves in this field. With very cool illustration and easy to understand language it presents tips and trick for newbies and people who want to improve their knowledge.
The simplicity of the artwork has been very useful and in my opinion correlates with the books overall theme. The pictures have a nice line and they don't mask the message. This was created to inform so any shenanigans in the illustration would ruin this book.
I also really enjoyed the charts provided in the end of the book. This, in my opinion, made it very useful in the work environment were you need to quickly present the information.
This book may as well serve as a handbook that will teach people how to effectively use They/Them pronouns without a judgement and doubt. I very much appreciated that.
Copy was provided by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
The simplicity of the artwork has been very useful and in my opinion correlates with the books overall theme. The pictures have a nice line and they don't mask the message. This was created to inform so any shenanigans in the illustration would ruin this book.
I also really enjoyed the charts provided in the end of the book. This, in my opinion, made it very useful in the work environment were you need to quickly present the information.
This book may as well serve as a handbook that will teach people how to effectively use They/Them pronouns without a judgement and doubt. I very much appreciated that.
Copy was provided by Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.
April 8, 2018
Thanks to Netgalley for providing a free advanced copy of this book!
This was a short and witty comic guide that's a great place to start for anyone who doesn't know much about non binary gender identities. It explains everything very simply and with a light sense of humour. But it's also a good read for anyone who identifies outside of the binary, who is questioning, or who just wants to learn more and help build a more inclusive and safer world. Basically, it's for everyone and everyone should give it a go.
The art was really nice and expressive, the information was put forth in a very precise and helpful way and it was really funny, in a sarcastic and snarky sort of way that I love. The dynamic that the two authors established was really entertaining and it honestly made the book so much more.
It's supposed to be the first in a series of "Quick & Easy Guides" that'll go over different aspects of gender and sexuality and I can't wait to read more of these.
This was a short and witty comic guide that's a great place to start for anyone who doesn't know much about non binary gender identities. It explains everything very simply and with a light sense of humour. But it's also a good read for anyone who identifies outside of the binary, who is questioning, or who just wants to learn more and help build a more inclusive and safer world. Basically, it's for everyone and everyone should give it a go.
The art was really nice and expressive, the information was put forth in a very precise and helpful way and it was really funny, in a sarcastic and snarky sort of way that I love. The dynamic that the two authors established was really entertaining and it honestly made the book so much more.
It's supposed to be the first in a series of "Quick & Easy Guides" that'll go over different aspects of gender and sexuality and I can't wait to read more of these.
November 29, 2018
Probably the best way for people to learn about they/them pronouns. This book is not just a guide but is a collection of every little thing that people should be learning but can never find the best resource to. The writing is easy to read and comprehend, making the entire process of 'learning' easier. The cute art is like an icing to the cake. I even love the tinge of humour that some scenes had. Not only was there a breakdown of all things that one needs to understand about genderqueer but also instances to demonstrate how being adressed by the wrong pronoun can affect someone. Overall, certainly recommended!
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Blog/Website | Twitter | Tumblr | Instagram | Pinterest
March 28, 2018
*I received this book as an eARC from Oni Press and Limerence Press via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review*
I absolutely love that this is a comic! It's a comic that is made to educate and inform people on gender neutral pronouns, specifically they/them. The format is conversational with a few nice diagrams. This comic covers so many great topics including pronouns in general, misgendering, and gender neutral pronouns. It's told in a fun, and sometimes sarcastic way. The emphasis is on building empathy.
"Nothing is as cool as being an empathetic and respectful person."
I give this educational comic a 5/5. I HIGHLY recommend this. This comic would be a great gift for friends, family, AND co-workers.
I absolutely love that this is a comic! It's a comic that is made to educate and inform people on gender neutral pronouns, specifically they/them. The format is conversational with a few nice diagrams. This comic covers so many great topics including pronouns in general, misgendering, and gender neutral pronouns. It's told in a fun, and sometimes sarcastic way. The emphasis is on building empathy.
"Nothing is as cool as being an empathetic and respectful person."
I give this educational comic a 5/5. I HIGHLY recommend this. This comic would be a great gift for friends, family, AND co-workers.
Read
July 10, 2018This is a non-fiction comics guide to using they/them pronouns written by a cis man and a non-binary person. I have mixed feelings about this book which can basically be summed up as: it’s kinda okay, I guess, but has some problems and may be helpful to some people.
Read my full review on my blog.
Content Warnings
Read my full review on my blog.
Content Warnings
June 10, 2021
i’m definitely not the target audience for this, but it does what it needs to do!
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