What Mothers Learn: Without Being Taught

by Naomi Stadlen

'Naomi writes so gently; her words are a soothing balm in these months of confusion . . . Thank you, Naomi, for your wise words' JUNO'Essential reading for mothers' Breastfeeding TodayIt is amazing to listen to mothers and hear how much they learn.Each mother learns different things - some practical, some mysterious. However, some common patterns come through.Mothers learn is more than baby- and childcare.*Babies can't talk but they can communicate.*Mothers are 'in conversation' with their babies.*Through their babies, mothers learn about themselves.*Mothers form families based on their own values.*The role of fathers is in the middle of a major change.*The reasons for maternal anger need to be understood.*Mothers can still be feminists.*Part of mothering is a spiritual experience.*Mothers bring usable experience back to their workplaces.What Mothers Learn will show, first, how learning to be a mother takes time, and then what a wonderful experience it can be. It also makes the case that, if enough of us agree that mothering is essential, society must find a way to reward the women who do it.

304 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 2, 2020

Reviews

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some people write a very fine book and then several more that essentially tweak the idea. I was delighted to find this is not the case for the author of What Mothers Do (Especially When It Looks Like Nothing) She has however hit on a winning formula which gives the main voice to mothers themselves, structured very clearly and with nothing extraneous (a common flaw in other books in the field)

I also feel that anyone wanting to carp (and they are legion, such is the importance and challenge of what she has to say) would have to strain even harder than before in the creation of their straw men. She draws on an interesting and worthwhile range of references.

What I would have liked (and it is a bigger ask) is a wider range of voices - we don't know who the mothers are and I don't know how diverse her groups might be, but in almost all instances they have young children and there's a book to be written extending Stadlen's work over a longer time frame (even though she shows how fast things change and the reflections that come so quickly). There are some tantalising glimpses - she has a chapter on grandmothers and a chapter on fathers in which she mentions that today's fathers are the sons of her generation of mothers and a few voices.

[Spiridoula Garoufalis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book prodded me to view aspects of my mothering that society overlooks and to recognize its importance.