Beyond the Darkness: A Gentle Guide for Living with Grief and Thriving after Loss

by Clarissa Moll

Sorrow is a dark and painful road. You don't need to walk it alone.
The Bible says that "God is near to the brokenhearted," but what does that look like when you're lost in the darkness of agonizing grief? How do you engage with your sorrow when the world tells you to shoulder through or move on?

Award-winning writer and podcaster Clarissa Moll knows this landscape of loss all too well. Her life changed forever in 2019 when her husband, Rob, died unexpectedly while hiking--leaving her with four children to raise alone. In her debut book, Beyond the Darkness, Clarissa offers her powerful personal narrative as well as honest, practical wisdom that will gently guide you toward flourishing amidst your own loss.

In the pages of Beyond the Darkness, you'll learn how to
meet and engage with loss in your everyday life,
uncover the lies the world has told you about your grief, and
point your feet toward hope and find a way to navigate your new life with loss and God beside you.
Whether you've lost someone dear to you or you're supporting a loved one as they mourn, you can learn to walk with grief. And as you do, you might be surprised to discover the path is wide enough for another companion, the Good Shepherd of your soul. Grief may walk with us for the rest of our lives, but Jesus will too.

Genres: Grief, Christian, Nonfiction, Faith, Self Help, Religion, Audiobook

223 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 5, 2022

About the author

Clarissa Moll (MA, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School) is an author, a podcaster, and the young widow of author Rob Moll. Clarissa’s writing has appeared in Christianity Today, The Gospel Coalition, RELEVANT, Modern Loss, Grief Digest and more. Her husband’s first book, The Art of Dying, was released in April 2021 with Clarissa’s new afterword. Clarissa is the author of Beyond the Darkness: A Gentle Guide for Living with Grief and Thriving after Loss.

Clarissa co-hosts Christianity Today’s “Surprised by Grief” podcast and hosts the weekly Hope*Writers podcast. She lives a joyful life with her four children and rescue pup and proudly calls both New England and the Pacific Northwest home.

Reviews

[Elizabeth Turnage · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the best and most practical books I've read on grief. Clarissa Moll is indeed a gentle guide into the journey of grief. Exposing the myths of grief and introducing us to its realities, she names aspects to grief that help us to know we're not alone in what we're experiencing. She discusses everything from the physical impact to the loneliness we can experience at church to parenting grieving children. Best of all, throughout the journey, she tenderly affirms the hope of healing, the hope that one day we will live forever in a world where grief is no more.

[Anita Yoder · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beautifully written from a place of deep darkness. Moll writes especially for those who have lost people in death, but her words can apply to anyone who is walking in loss and grief--which is everyone, if we're honest.
She is never glib or trite but her honesty allows her to explore the depths of agony and unanswered questions without ending up in despair. She says death is necessary for healthy life, and because Christians are people of resurrection, we can lament in an undercurrent of hope.

[Connie Norfleet · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is written by Clarissa Moll, who lost her husband, Rob, in a horrible hiking accident almost three years ago. Clarissa speaks from her own experience how to find hope and healing in the grief journey. She discusses making grief your “companion” rather than the boogie man that we all want to run away from. A must read if you are dealing with the loss of a loved one.

[Brad Belote · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Joyful, Deeply Satisfying Book

I've read a number of books on grief and this is one of the best. Clarissa's eloquent words and personal story take you by the hand and lead you down a trail of enlightenment on the path of grief. Her writing is effective and efficient, painting pictures and tugging at your heart with each page. (I highly recommend the audio book - her voice reveals the deep sorrow and longing for anyone dealing with grief feels.)
Her guidance extends beyond just practical notions like self-cafe; she speaks to spiritual and emotional growth that are possible while also recognizing the uncertainty and pain of grief. Her playbook for churches to become more "grief aware" is worth further exploration.
I suspect this book will resonate more with those who've been on their grief journey for a least a few months. You have perspective and can identify with the experiences and emotions Clarissa so keenly describes.
Whether you are a few months or a few years into your grief journey, you will find great hope and comfort in Clarissa's word. ***** - Highly recommended

[Gina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Like her late husband Rob Moll's The Art of Dying: Living Fully Into the Life to Come , Clarissa Moll's book is a necessary addition to our libraries. From wisdom and painful experience, she shares the comforting words grieving people most need to hear, full of substance and free of platitudes. She is a gentle, thoughtful guide. Reading her work has better equipped me to care for friends who walk through loss. Highly recommend.

[Marissa Burt · Rating 5 out of 5]

I soaked up every word of Clarissa’s well written and insightful book on navigating life after loss. Weaving the metaphor of “grief as a companion” with her own personal experience as a young widowed mother, Clarissa invites readers mourning the death of a loved one to an honest and Christ-centered journey with grief.

Sometimes books like these need to come with disclaimers, because so often further injury is done by well meaning platitudes or how-to’s offered to hurting people. I am so thankful no such disclaimers are needed here! Clarissa’s voice is a wise, gentle, and humble one, and her genuine care and empathy shine through her words, especially in moments where she honestly acknowledges the hard and painful realities of death.

Highly recommend!

ETA: Chapter 7 on searching for spiritual answers in the face of loss was a beautiful work of theodicy and exploration of Naomi's story as found in the biblical book of Ruth. So much to ponder.

Also, if you can get your hands on the audiobook, the author reads it herself which adds a layer of personal connection that is beautiful.

[Kelsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clarissa Moll’s debut book is a vivid and beautiful description of what it means to be a believer who grieves a loss in this world. She encourages the reader to understand grief in a way that I have never considered - as a companion.
I highly recommend this book to anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one, which basically means I would recommend it to everyone.
I plan to buy several hard copies of the book once it is released in paperback for my church library and Stephen’s Ministry.

[Sharon Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

Learning about grief has helped me to understand that I still have a future that can be fulfilling and full of hope despite my loss. Clarissa Moll’s writing has been a gift from God for me. So much guidance, knowledge and understanding. Each chapter brings grief into focus in a completely different way. Definitely a must read to take us Beyond the Darkness.

[Sandy Brazel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clarissa's book is summed up in its title. It is gentle. It is a guide for those living with grief, as well as those walking alongside bereaved people giving insights and tips on how to grieve well, such that you can love your life after your loss and thrive!
I've shared what I've learned from her with friends, family, and complete strangers. I recommend buying a copy for yourself, and at least 5 more to share with others as yours will be so well read the pages will fall out, not to mention the many places you'll highlight her words to reread again.

[Teresa Montalvo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Does talking about death make you feel uncomfortable? For many of us it does. It is a difficult subject. Should it be? Clarissa Moll has found a fresh approach to a conversation we need to be willing to start and embrace. She has lost much; she has gained much comfort in the one that comforts us. She shows us how He walks along side of us while grief is with us too. Perhaps you have not lost a person that has altered your world, but you may have someone that has. This book would be such an ongoing comfort and nice gift that will keep giving long after the food trains, friends and family have drifted away. Walking through grief should never be done alone. Grief awareness is much needed in this season and our society. We should not run from the subject, but run into it and start the conversation with those we love. It needs to become comfortable and not feared. This would also make a great book to use for a reading club or study. At the end of her chapters Clarissa has left you with a few questions which makes for great conversation starters. If audible is your favorite way to “read” a book, well you are in for a special blessing! Clarissa reads her book to you and her voice is pleasant and her passion comes through in her expression of her written words!

[Wesley Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just what I needed as I began my walk with grief after losing my father. The author met me exactly where I was and carried me through challenging days. I’m sure I’ll read this one again!

[Tami Glasco · Rating 5 out of 5]

Eight years into my own grief journey following the unexpected loss of my husband, I find myself constantly saying "YES!" as I read each chapter. Clarissa beautifully articulates the reality of grief, the physical, spiritual and emotional impact of grief and the promise of hope found only in Christ. Her insights are tender, honest and practical. I have read many books about grief and this is by far one of the best. I highly recommend this book.

[Teri · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this book and cannot wait to read the hard copy. The author made grief feel more relatable and and helped me to see that I am truly not alone. She describes grief as a “companion” and this put into perspective so much of what I have been feeling for the last 3 years. If you are dealing with grief or trying to understand what a loved one is going through, please do not hesitate to pick up this book.

[Cara Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for both, those who are new to the grief journey and for those who have been walking through it for some time. I love the author's perspective of grief being a companion and not a step by step process. Practical tools to living with grief are given for both those who are trying to figure out life without their person and for those who are walking along side someone who is grieving. The author reminds the reader that Jesus is your companion on this journey as well and will meet you right where you are at. Absolutely one of the best grief books I have come across!

[Enid C. · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful guide to encourage the reader to embrace their grief as a companion. Clarissa is an engaging writer, making this book hard to put down. Such a timely work for this period of loss in our world. Thoughtfully and maturely written. Clarissa’s insights are amazingly brilliant and will give the reader such a fresh and hopeful feeling during difficult times, when pain seems like it is taking the lead in their life.

[JOYCE KELLY · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excited to read this book!

[Pamela Jurney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a beautiful and honest guide about the challenges of moving forward through life with grief as your new companion. Steeped in Christian faith, the author resists platitudes because the loss of a spouse causes unfathomable pain and suffering and life challenges. Rather she seeks hope, wisdom, and divine solace for herself, for her children.

As a mother to children who have now lost a father, I shared her pain and learned new ways to pray for my children. This author understands that going to church can be so hard, but that you belong there. You need to let your grief come to church. The Christian faith is based in “selfless woundedness.”

Quote: Just as you belong in church, a wounded Jesus does too.

The final chapter of the book reminds us that God designed us to be resilient. As part of God’s creation and through the hope of the resurrection, God has given you the tools and skills to move forward. Grief will always be your companion, but God has equipped you to feel joy and hope and to look forward on the path ahead of you.

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just wow. One of the absolute best books on grief I’ve read. Clarissa Moll’s words are gentle and soothing, yet practical, always drawing you near to the Gospel. A beautiful reminder that while grief is a lifelong companion, our Savior is, too.

“Grief isn’t just a passing feeling. It is an emotion and a capacity that God wove into our bodies at birth; it is part of the marvelous divine design of emotional range.”

“A joyful, deeply satisfying life awaits you after loss.”

“Brokenness is always the pathway to the gospel. Jesus’ wounds will always be our source of comfort and healing. Even in your deepest pain, you belong to the church. Together, we’ll sing our songs of laud, lament, and longing until Jesus comes again.”

[Ebeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Beyond the Darkness, Clarissa Moll welcomes grief as her companion through the loss of her husband, rather than treating it as a thing to be dreaded or avoided. And she invites us to do the same. Her warm and honest writing welcomes her readers into a practical, emotional and spiritual journey through grief. She encouragingly invites us to make room for grief and ultimately to allow Jesus to become our companion in suffering to hope. As a Christian, she challenges the church to embrace grief and lament for the very real part they play in the life of the believer. As a mother of four, she writes about the unique needs of children and their journey with grief as well. Throughout the book, Clarissa writes honestly about pain with an undergirding of joyful hope. I highly recommend this book and audiobook to both those who are experiencing grief and loss as well as to those who may walk alongside them.

[Mari Walters · Rating 5 out of 5]

After following Clarissa’s deeply moving blog, it was a profound experience to read her book on grief. It’s the fresh way she uses language to access human emotions and experiences, and how she weaves these memorable metaphors throughout that bring a new awareness to the myriad expressions of grief. The most powerful illustration for me is Clarissa’s idea that grief can be a companion. I have long pondered this concept and shared it with many because I think it’s such an appropriate and helpful way to deal with grief – in all its forms. I have already given away copies of this book, and I pray that Clarissa’s labor of love will be a healing balm to those who grieve and to those want to walk faithfully with them.

[Elyse Lawson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was given to me by friends who are walking the same journey of navigating grief and life after the loss of a child. I found it to be a practical and honest guide to walking with grief as a companion, and I appreciate that Clarissa challenges the church to embrace grief and calls out the platitudes that so many people use following tragic loss. Her book encourages the reader to make room for grief and welcome Jesus to join him/ her as a companion in suffering.

It is a helpful guide for those navigating grief themselves and for anyone trying to walk alongside and support someone who has experienced devastating loss.

[Kathleencantwell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Clarissa’s book is a gift to those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. She skillfully and intimately shares details of her grief process, nuances that help others who are grieving feel safe and seen in their own grief. It will be a companion and guide for anyone walking the road of sorrow. It’s filled with wisdom and generous with practical suggestions on how to move forward in healing while maintaining hope. It’s also a wonderful resource for friends who are walking with someone they love who has experienced grief. Beyond The Darkness will be the go to book I give to others experiencing loss. It is honestly the best book I have read dealing with grief.

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Although I have not experienced a deep grief in losing a close person, I found the first half of the book immensely helpful in practicality of not simply living with grief, but living alongside grief (and not shying from it). Much like Groves+Smith's Untangling Emotions, Moll helps sufferers to become acquainted with grief and to see the hope of the gospel within. The latter half of the book became a bit more repetitive, but I would read it again and recommend it to other believers who have experienced loss of another believer. (This book does not address the death of unbelievers)

[Megan Andrews · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was the companion I needed to start my journey. Grief is deeply painful and extremely lonely. Aside from someone to walk with you in person, this is the next best thing. There is practical, spiritual and encouraging wisdom throughout each chapter and it’s such a gift to those of us in the darkness. Very thankful for the sacrifices the author made to put this into the world.

[Carol · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written book on handling grief from a Christian perspective. While the focus is mostly on the loss of a person in your life. some tips could be used for any kind of loss.
Each chapter had reflective questions to help you apply the ideas to your situation .

[Stacey Laho · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of the many grief books I have read, I have found few, if any, that are able to speak to the grief journey in the way that Beyond the Darkness does. It is no easy task to write about the grief journey because it is expressly unique while also being universally experienced, yet Clarissa Moll has a gift to reach into the griever's heart with words that help, heal, and hope. I listened to the audio book first which I highly recommend and am awaiting my hard copy which I will undoubtedly write in and highlight so I can return to her wise words. I loved her candor to address the unhelpful and often hurtful things said from the church as well as debunking the Five Stages of Grief. Clarissa truly does gently and gracefully guide the griever wherever they are on their journey with practical, poignant, and purposeful words.

[Elise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the book that I wish I'd had when I began my grief journey in the winter of 2020. Clarissa is gentle and tender as she honestly shares from her own experience (and extensive research) what the journey of grief is like and how to walk through it as healthily as possible. I appreciate most of all that she doesn't give an impossible standard that grieving people just can't live up to. It really is a gentle guide and one that I think so many people will benefit from - I certainly have.

This will be my new go-to book to give to friends and family when they lose someone they love. And I can't wait to get my own copy so that I can underline everything that has impacted me so much as I've listened to the audiobook. I will be referring to this one again and again.

[Cyndi Green · Rating 4 out of 5]

Beyond the Darkness has given me a new insight as to how to navigate the loss of my oldest son. There are instances where I can identify with Clarissa. It is beyond this darkness that we find hope to carry on. That is the main perspective that I have been given by reading this book. I hope to revisit and find other tidbits of information that will help me navigate this journey. Clarissa does a wonderful job of walking with you as you read this book. She doesn't try to lead you through the process, but rather walks beside. There is a difference. She helps us understand all of the past precepts of grief and opens the window to show us how we can see it differently within ourselves.

[Joan Dedman · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beyond the Darkness, by Clarissa Moll is a beautifully written book on grief and all it entails. It is honest and truthful. Clarissa is a gifted writer and pours her heart out to her readers. If you have lost someone close or know someone else walking through grief consider this book. As a Griefshare facilitator I am always looking for new resources and this will move to the top of my list. Thank you Clarissa!

[Christine Miles · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written guide to surviving loss. Clarissa does a wonderful job of writing what she has experienced through her own personal loss and her research on grief. It is easy to relate to what she shares. Throughout her book, she manages to impart wisdom on dealing with grief while at the same time communicating a sense of encouragement and hope for the future.
I highly recommend!