Dinner for One: How Cooking in Paris Saved Me

by Sutanya Dacres

From podcast host Sutanya Dacres comes Dinner for One, an unforgettable memoir of how she rebuilt her life after her American-in-Paris fairy tale shattered, starting with cooking dinner for herself in her Montmartre kitchen

When Sutanya Dacres married her French boyfriend and moved to Paris at twenty-seven, she felt like she was living out her very own Nora Ephron romantic comedy. Jamaican-born and Bronx-raised, she had never dreamed she herself could be one of those American women in Paris she admired from afar via their blogs, until she met the man of her dreams one night in Manhattan. A couple of years later, she married her Frenchman and moved to Paris, embarking on her own “happily-ever-after.” But when her marriage abruptly ended, the fairy tale came crashing down around her.

Reeling from her sudden divorce and the cracked facade of that picture-perfect expat life, Sutanya grew determined to mend her broken heart and learn to love herself again. She began by cooking dinner for one in her Montmartre kitchen. Along the way, she builds Parisienne friendships, learns how to date in French, and examines what it means to be a Black American woman in Paris—all while adopting the French principle of pleasure, especially when it comes to good food, and exploring what the concept of self-care really means.

Brimming with charm, humor, and hard-won wisdom, Sutanya's story takes you on an adventure through love, loss, and finding where you truly belong, even when it doesn’t look quite how you expected.

Genres: Memoir, Food, Nonfiction, France, Travel, Audiobook, Biography Memoir

Audiobook

Published June 21, 2022

About the author

Sutanya Dacres is the creator and host of the podcast Dinner for One, which has been featured in The New York Times and BBC Radio Hour, among other outlets. She has held a number of copywriting positions in New York City and Paris. Having grown up in New York City, she currently resides, and cooks dinners for one, in the Montmartre neighborhood of Paris.

Dinner for One is her first book.

Reviews

[dessertcomes1st · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's no doubting that this is a heartfelt and well-written memoir but I feel that the title is misleading. There's hardly any mention of food or cooking until 60% into the book. I also feel that there are problems with pacing. The first half of the book is eloquently written but then suddenly the issue of their marriage being in trouble comes up and before I knew it, they had gotten divorced. I was left wondering - how did the trouble start? What were the problems anyway?

3.5 stars rounded up. A good read but food lovers might feel the book is lacking.

[Heidi Madden · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was so promising. Dinner for one? A memoir on cooking? No. It was a memoir on divorce, ex-pat life and being too immature to compromise. There was a bit of food but it was very late in the book and we already knew about the divorce. Why go through it in so much detail?! Or do, but give it another title. Divorce in Paris. Perfect.

[Ann Mah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Born in Jamaica, raised in the Bronx, Sutanya Dacres met and married a cute French guy and moved to Paris. It seemed like a fairy tale – until the marriage crashed and burned. She tells her story in Dinner for One, a clear-eyed memoir about cooking your way through a broken heart in Paris, and a refreshing examination of what it means to be a Black American woman in France.

[Moriah Costa · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a refreshing tale! A true story about what it's like to live in Paris, being here for love, and how not everyday turns out to be a fairytale. We are all just figuring it out. If you love Paris but want to know what it's really like to live here, then read Dinner for One!

[Kelly M · Rating 1 out of 5]

I normally really love food memoirs. This ain't it. This title is misleading. She doesn't even start cooking until 80% into the book. The majority of the book details her struggle with cultural differences, her failed marriage, and the downward spiral resulting from that, many drunken nights, and dating mishaps. If you like stories about codependent people with no sense of self who learn to cook and stop drinking a bottle of wine each night because they need to stay alive, this book is for you.

[Joanne Bamberger · Rating 2 out of 5]

Nothing about cooking in this book. Recipes at the end but no narrative about the recipes “saving” her. Truly disappointing

[Tara · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars because, while I did enjoy it, and cooking in Paris did save her in the last ~50 or so pages, it definitely wasn't the focus of the majority of the book. Also, a few editing errors/typos.

[Marie · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a foodie and a lover of Paris, I was excited to dive into Dinner for One. This is the true story of Sutanya Dacres, a Jamaican-American woman who fell in love with a Frenchman and, after sustaining a long-distance relationship for a few years, moved to Paris, got married, and assumed she would live happily ever after. The wonderful, magical Parisian life she dreamed of was actually more like a nightmare at times. She had trouble navigating cultural differences, dealt with racism, and the honeymoon phase of her marriage was a blip on the radar before trouble began.

I appreciated how honest and vulnerable Sutanya was throughout this book; she didn’t shy away from her faults or flaws. We saw the highs and lows, the good and bad, the ugly and the beautiful of her life, her romantic relationship, and her relationship with herself. I admired her strength and how even when life knocked her down, she didn’t stay down for long. It would have been so easy for her to return to America after her divorce, to retreat to the familiarity of her family and former home, but she built a life that was all her own. Her tale was interesting, inspiring, and hopeful.

While I thoroughly enjoyed Dinner for One, I have to admit it wasn’t what I expected from the title or blurb. The actual cooking and love of food didn’t come until toward the end. While there was a clear appreciation for food throughout the book, it was usually mentioned in passing, and I was expecting it to be a huge theme throughout the book. I won’t say I was disappointed since I did enjoy reading about Sutanya’s journey, but I feel like the title was misleading, and I think there might be readers who will be disappointed.

Overall, this memoir was a joy to read. I won’t hesitate to recommend it to a variety of people, from foodies to lovers of Paris to expats to people struggling with relationship issues or divorce.



*I received an advance copy of this book from the publisher via Netgalley. All thoughts are my own

[Makayla · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dinner for One is much more than just essays about Sutanya’s cooking. It delves into her relationship with her ex-husband, how she ended up in France with him when they married, the end of that relationship and the beginning of another with cooking. Sutanya goes into detail about her relationship with herself, and how learning and interacting with the local food along with other cuisines, truly saved her from self-destructive tendencies. It’s a phenomenal read for anyone in need of some self-reflection with a love of food.

While I expected this book to read more like one of the other cooking essay books I've read, and wasn't sure how to feel about the deep dive into her relationships at first, I ended up loving it! While I am not divorced by any means, her disconnect after her relationship ended and the spiral that kept going even when things seemed better, is something anyone who has felt and experienced heartbreak can relate to. I can absolutely agree the cooking for one is something single people should take more pride and more effort in. This book helped romanticize what we do in the kitchen and make me excited to go home and cook for just myself. Something I absolutely adore doing, and will see in a different light after listening to this.

I can also admit that I did listen to this while cooking some of my favorite meals I've created recently, so it's a great one to put on if you enjoy listening to things while in the kitchen.

[Marian · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this memoir. Sutanya Dacres' narrative is straightforward, moving, and, in the end, inspiring. Her words just flow.

She begins her story just a few months after her husband leaves, and she's not doing well. She's drinking too much and basically just getting through the day. Going back in time, Dacres details her unfulfilling job in Connecticut to her chance meeting with her future French husband in a NYC bar. Referred throughout the book as TFM (aka The French Man), Dacres explains her leap of faith in starting a relationship with him as well as her move to France, subsequent marriage, and then divorce.

This really feels like a "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" book as Dacres eventually turns to cooking as a way to heal and learn who she is post-divorce. Starting a dinner for one podcast, Dacres' strength and self-love become evident, and I'm sure the podcast was the impetus for this book. As an added bonus, Dacres includes a number of recipes as well. Her voice is fresh, her spirit is resilient, and you can't help but root for Sutanya Dacres.

I would like to thank #NetGalley and Park Row Books for this electronic ARC of #DinnerForOne.

[Marie · Rating 2 out of 5]

Maybe this book isn't for me because I knew nothing of the author and her podcast. For a book who's subtitle is "How Cooking in Paris Saved Me" there is very little about food or cooking. In fact, other than a small story about sandwiches, the author doesn't even begin to talk about her journey with cooking until 200 pages in. Maybe it's my fault for expecting this to be a food memoir. Also, the last three chapters really dragged for me and felt like they were all three conclusion chapters. I may have skipped the last 8 pages and read the epilogue to finally be done.

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

i loved how open and raw the author is and i really appreciate her strength and candor. this book didn’t focus on food as much as i thought it would (and was looking forward to) but i was so taken with the author and her story and it was wonderful to be allowed into her private thoughts. super great book and i will be spending many hours catching up on sutanya dacres’ podcast of the same name. 💖💖💖

[Bookaholic · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sweet, breezy. A heartfelt story told in beautiful writing. Not profound in any way, though (I am about the same age as the author.)
I bought and devoured the book in less than 3 days. 🧡

[Lauren Walker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely heartfelt, beautifully written, a true telling of expat life in Paris and navigating the world of French romance. Recommend 100%!

[Ehi · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am so very grateful for this book. As a black female foreigner who recently moved to Paris, reading this book was like being in conversation with a friend who wanted to guide me. First of all, she started with vulnerability. She revealed her story of falling in love and losing herself in a relationship that took her to Paris. She spoke of losing this love, and being stuck in a cloud of loneliness and depression in a foreign city. And then she told of her journey of rebuilding- having to confront herself in quiet moments, in prayer, in cooking, in walking through Paris. And her insight into life in Paris was precious to me- the detail with which she described the streets she walked down, some of the restaurants and bars she went to, the style, the personalities of the people she encountered. All of it makes me want to immerse myself in this city. To stop being afraid to experience it fully; to feel the sensory pleasure she described. And I also appreciate her frankness- validating things I have noticed here- like the overt nature of racism, or even the way french men are focussed on the ever elusive “feeling”. It feels like she has walked down a path that I’m going down- being single in a new city, and trying to love myself genuinely- and her words have served as encouragement and inspiration. Such an honest, beautiful, well-written memoir!

[Emily Saeugling · Rating 3 out of 5]

A raw and reflective memoir. Enjoyed hearing about Sutanya’s experience navigating Parisian culture and self-discovery post divorce.

However, the title doesn’t match the book. Food is discussed throughout but cooking for one doesn’t happen until 80% of the way through. Everything pre-meeting TFM could’ve been cut. I also hated the narrator of this audiobook.

Glad I had a five hour flight delay and this as my only option. If I’d just read the first chapter, I don’t think I would’ve finished.

[Debracord · Rating 2 out of 5]

Quite a bit of whining and repetitive internal dialogue, I think a good editor could have helped with the context and flow.

[Lisa McLean · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another great memoir about moving to Paris and cooking- such a fun genre for me-

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had the honor of interviewing Sutanya Dacres about her book "Dinner for One" on my podcast Storytime in Paris. Here is what I said:

"Sutanya Dacres, “Dinner for One”

My guest this week is author and podcast host Sutanya Dacres. Sutanya’s podcast “Dinner for one” has been featured in The New York Times and the BBC Radio Hour, and she has just released her first book, “Dinner For One: How Cooking in Paris Saved Me.”

Sutanya’s memoir is an honest look into what happened when her world fell apart and she found herself alone, divorced, in her 30s, in a foreign land. Through her generous, open and insightful writing, we feel her fall in love, we hear her heart break, and we watch her pick herself up and start again. And what’s that? That’s the scent of culinary salvation.

In a lively and candid conversation, Sutanya discusses vulnerability, cultural differences, dating after divorce, and so much more. Then, she treats us to a reading from “Dinner For One: How Cooking in Paris Saved Me.”

[Sarah · Rating 1 out of 5]

I realized much too late what this book is.

It is not, as the title suggests, a book about food or culinary travelogue. It is not an ex-pat memoir with a dash of Eat Pray Love self-discovery.

This book is a book written by a podcaster for her fans explaining, in minute detail, the making and breaking of her marriage.

In college, Dacres spun up a cotton-candy pastel pink Paris, and after meeting a Parisian in an East Coast bar one night, their long-distance friendship blossoms into love. She moves to France and marries. But (shockingly), it's not all sunshine and macarons when she has to live and work in a foreign country while navigating an intercultural, multilingual marriage. The main character, the specter of her ex-husband, is referred to only by his initials (how Live Journal-esque). It feels snobby and bit cringe.

In fact, a lot of the book felt snobby and privileged. Her view of intercultural dating and marriage is frustratingly naive; she seemed shocked her French husband would be frustrated that after a year of living in Paris that he wanted her to speak more French. Sigh.

To be fair, I went into this blind and I was having a bit of a sad girl moment and I had some expectations. I was looking for something more like a strong woman memoir. The title certainly did the book a disservice, even if it is the name of her podcast.

Maybe this book is scratching an itch for her listeners to learn her backstory but with no context this is a book written by a woman who still seems deep in the work of processing her broken marriage. She drags her dusty emotional luggage out from under her (perfectly patinated wrought-iron) Parisian bed and proceeds to spill the entire contents on the (polished original parquet) floor.

If you're looking to sit on the bed, glass of wine in one hand, the other elbow deep in a bag of chips while Dacres rifles through her luggage and has a breakdown then this absolutely is the book for you. I'm sure it could be fun if you're in the right mood.

[Kathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed reading the memoir Dinner for One by Sutanya Dacres. The Sub-title, How Cooking in Paris Saved Me was fitting, as it seemed cooking her own dinners for one helped her find her place in Paris and reconnect with her heart and soul.

Discussing this book in book club , we took a dive into the “American in Paris” dream, vs The realities of a Black American Woman in Paris. the Authors writing really helped bring the realities to light.
Sutanya writes so vividly about her struggles with feelings of hopelessness and loss. The attempt to fill a void in her soul with one-night love affairs, casual sex and too much drinking were with her before she met TFM, and then again after they split.
Thinking back, remembering how I have dealt with these feelings in my own past and whether or not I turned to the apéros. Did I then -or would I now?
The dream of moving to Europe has passed through all our minds, but has that dream been a way to escape our present? We would, after all, be bringing ourselves and our fears with us on the journey. Do we understand the complexities of becoming an expat? And then to add a dying relationship to our fish out of water feeling, would we fail or succeed?

The recipes in the back of the book are wonderful I succeeded in making a lovely cheese platter and an attempt was made at that very first dish, the roasted chicken and fingerling potatoes and, of course, a champagne lavender cocktail!

[Phyllis · Rating 1 out of 5]

Thanks to BookClub Cookbook & Park Row Books/HarperCollins for an advance reader’s copy. All comments and opinions are my own.

I didn’t know anything about the author before beginning this memoir. She is the creator and host of the podcast “Dinner for One.” This is her debut novel, and even though I didn’t like it, I was curious to find out how cooking in Paris saved her.

First the good – most of her book is spent in Paris, and author Sutanya Dacres describes the streets, bistros, living spaces, food, and ambiance so realistically that I felt like I was right there with her. I enjoyed her love of food and her discovery of learning to cook that helps with her emotional healing. And there are several interesting looking and out of the ordinary recipes at the end of the book.

But….the rest of the book was barely readable for me. I didn’t relate to her heavy drinking and random sexual encounters lifestyle. Though in her mid-to late 20s, she responded like a self-absorbed teenager to everyone, but she should have known what she was giving up as well as gaining when she moved to France, and when she married her French boyfriend, who she refers to as TFM. While she knew the French culture was very different from her Jamaican-born and Brooklyn-bred life, she expected everyone to cater to her as an American. And then she felt sorry for herself when people were offended or less than welcoming by her cultural gaffes. She romanticized how her life and her marriage would go, and reality was very different.

She describes several scenarios where she doesn’t fit in, both with TFM’s family and friends, and at a couple of jobs she is fortunate enough to secure even though she barely speaks the language. She is good at describing how others misinterpret her but never realizes she is responsible for the way people respond.

Most of the book describes her trouble navigating cultural differences, with her marital difficulties on top of that. We don’t specifically find out why her husband TFM leaves her, but I can’t blame him. It isn’t until the last few chapters of the book that she begins to cook, so the title is misleading. I can’t recommend this memoir of a high maintenance drama queen.

[SaraFair · Rating 3 out of 5]

When life doesn’t go as planned, it can be a crushing blow. Even in an exciting international city, with a great job and the love of your life, things can go sour. This is the unfortunate situation in the memoir Dinner for One: How Cooking in Paris Saved Me by Sutanya Dacres. The author meticulously goes through her New York single life and explains to us the easy going confident person she is until she meets a Frenchman who takes her breath away. Then life begins to change for Sutanya, she conforms herself to a life hanging on long distance messages and quick getaways. The relationship transforms into the biggest sacrifice, excitement and change of marrying and moving to France. I absolutely love American in Paris stories and the author lets us ride on her shoulder through the good and the bad. She is revealing and humble when exposing her heart to all of us. We can feel with her the embarrassment of making culture mistakes when she is the only American in the room, very early in being immersed in the language. She is quite a trooper and pushes on in love until her situation falls apart and we see someone at a crossroads. At that point she must decide to either be crushed or start over. The second story of this book is the answer for her. I must say that the French relationship part of the book was so well written, I felt as if I was going through it with Sutanya-chills and all. The second portion which told her comeback was almost like a different book, mixing food and self help. In my opinion, it would have been better suited if the memoir would have continued as one book and the self help portion a separate book. However for Sutanya it is one life, and she is still young and living it. I loved the specifics on places in Paris that were out of the way destinations, great for a future trip! This book would be great for those readers who liked Pancakes in Paris and Seven Letters from Paris. A deep dive into what Parisian day to day life is like and immersion into French culture.

[Niamh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Ironically for the title of the book, I really wish more time had been spent on the cooking element.

'Dinner for One' is a memoir about Dacres experience with a whirlwind relationship and subsequent marriage to a Frenchman, leading her to move to Paris and experience a significant culture clash there. When the marriage falls apart, the city helps her to heal - and improve her French.

It's hard to review a memoir because this is somebody's life. But, my main gripe is that the title of the book is a tad misleading. 3/4 of it is not about cooking at all - there are occasional caveats about eating and her obsession with l'aperitif - but about the (admittedly) bad decisions she made in her relationship. There were moments where she said things I couldn't be sure were jokes or if they were serious. In fact, there were moments where I thought 'I can see red flags all over the damn place, you two should not be together.'

The part of the book I loved - the other quarter - were those explorations of food and cooking in the city. Visiting the various shops, discovering the devotion to which the French treat the culinary arts. But it was all over so quickly. Because the book hadn't been about the healing process. It had just laid out the whole story - and then spent a few chapters talking about what came after. I wanted more of that part, more of the stories, more of the food! If it had been marketed as a book about relationships, it would've made far more sense. Not a bad book, but missold.

[Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

Read my full review here.

[Andrea Thatcher · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was very enjoyable, kind of like a long diary entry or blog post, but didn’t really deliver on the promise of the title. There were only a couple chapters about cooking and food, and they overwhelmingly focused on the beginner phase of her culinary journey. I would have liked to hear which dishes became her specialties. She talks about the failed dinner parties but doesn’t ever tell us about the triumphant ones to give a satisfying narrative arc. I’m left with the impression of now have to listen to the podcast to get the rest of the story. Most of the book was about youthful missteps and a failed romance and the destructive coping mechanisms she used to distract herself from the pain. I wish as much visceral and detailed description was given to her strategies for resilience and healthy growth. There is definitely a need for more diverse figures and people of color specifically in the American Expat in Paris genre, and I appreciated some of the stories of the differences and subtleties of racism in France. Again, I’d love to hear more.

[Kirsten Phillips · Rating 1 out of 5]

I felt like a the beginning of this book it was really enticing and exciting. Like oh moving to Paris and marrying a French guy awesome. But after the divorce I felt like she kept repeating things and dragging things out longer than it needed to be to get some extra pages. I actually just skimmed the last 3 chapters because I couldn’t read it anymore.

[Julie Failla Earhart · Rating 1 out of 5]

I enjoy most foodie memoirs/biographies. If y’all haven’t read and of Ruth Reichl’s series of growing up and working around food, I highly recommend them. They are simply wonderful, as is the one novel she wrote, “Delicious.”

I thought I was getting kind of the same things when I picked up “Dinner for One: How Cooking in Paris Saved Me.” Well, I read, and read, and read, and read, and read. Took me almost a month to finish this book. I was bound and determined to finish it and find that nugget that would have made it all worthwhile. The book contained almost one hundred pages of recipes, so I just knew that it would be unputdownable.

I was wrong. It starts out well enough, with Dacres meeting her husband, who is only referred to TFM (The French Man) through all 352 pages, in the New York. They had a long distant relationship for three years before they married. Dacres left everything and everybody she knew and loved to move to Paris.

The honeymoon didn’t seem to last long. Dacres knew no one in Paris, didn’t know her way around, and barely spoke the language. I would have thought that she would try to learn the basics before she moved to Paris, but she didn’t. French is not an easy language to learn, and Dacres didn’t seem that interested. TFM had his own set of friends, was a native Parisian, and a job. Dacres seemed alone most of the time.

Readers must watch Dacres and TFM’s marriage fall apart for more than two thirds of the book. It got old after a while. Normally I would have bailed, but I was really waiting for the good part. Mostly after Dacres and TFM separated we had to watch as she drank too much and had a series of one-night stands.

She does decide that she is spending too much of her time trashed and starts cooking, but it is too little too late. There isn’t much about cooking in this memoir and not a mention of the recipes that she includes. I was extremely disappointed in this narrative, and equally as irritated at myself for hanging on to the very last word, especially since it put me seven books behind toward my Goodreads goal. Therefore “Dinner for One: How Cooking in Paris Save Me” receives 1 out of 5 stars in Julie’s world.

[Jessica · Rating 2 out of 5]

Sutanya Dacres met her future husband on a night out with a friend when she was home in New York visiting her family. He was French and was in town on vacation with a friend. They exchanged contact info and started emailing. Soon they were emailing daily and talking on the phone too. When Sutanya goes to Europe on a trip with some friends she meets up with The Frenchman (as he’s known in this book) in Paris and knows this is it. After three years of long distance dating they get married in 2013 and she moves to Paris. But what seemed like a fairytale romance quickly fades under the stress of living together full time and for Sutanya the struggles of adjusting to France and trying to learn a new language. Within three years of their wedding they are getting divorced. Sutanya really struggles with the divorce and what to do with herself. She loves Paris so she decides to stay and finds that rediscovering cooking for herself is what starts to heal her. The last section of the book is a collection of recipes.

I didn’t love this memoir. I honestly didn’t like Sutanya very much. I also thought based on the description of the book it would be more about food and cooking. It was more about all the dozens of men she hooked up with and how much she partied and self-medicated (both before and after her divorce). I was expecting more The Sharper Your Knife, the Less You Cry and got the hookup diaries Paris edition. Overall, I would not recommend this one.

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dinner for One: How Cooking in Paris Saved Me is a memoir about how the author used cooking for one to heal and overcome the challenge of getting over a divorce. After the author moved from NY to Paris to get married, she faced divorce and other challenges as a Black woman in France. Throughout the book, we see her try to heal through cooking. But we also see her building French friendships and going on dates. The author also talked openly about being a single Black blogger in Paris.

At the end, the author shared some of her favorite meals, such as a lovely cheese platter, a roasted chicken with fingerling potatoes, and a champagne lavender cocktail! I love "American in Paris" stories, and this book reminds me of "Emily in Paris" because it is a fish-out-of-water story with food, nightlife, and heartbreak. Most of the book describes the trouble the author has navigating the cultural and race issues in Paris while dealing with her marital difficulties. She also gave some lessons learned in the epilogue, such as: "1) Making a nice meal for yourself is always worth the time and effort. and 2) There's no such thing as too much butter."

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...