What do you think?
Rate this book
Before We Drowned #1
Before We Drowned
First book in a emotionally compelling, heart warming series!
In sunny Southern California, Jordan has been relying on partying to guide her through life, alongside her brother and best friends. Between surfing, boating, and beach days, her time is spent engaging in reckless activities and love interests who make her feel less-than. Having built-up strong walls around her, she's happy with the limited people that she has let inside.
Until she meets Adrian.
Throwing caution to the wind, Adrian lives for himself, letting his now-or-never mentality rule his actions and beliefs. Actions and beliefs that are rooted in dark trauma and past betrayals. Adrian has had to learn to fend for himself from a young age, and in order to do so without cracking under pressure, unwanted habits have formed at his mercy.
When all of her best friends and brother warn Jordan to stay away from Adrian, she treads lightly, though that's hard to do when his eyes are only meant for her. When she finally learns why they were so cautious around him, it's too late, and she has been sucked into the vortex of falling for the one that she should have stayed far away from.
** Mature content, adult language, graphic sexual content, and disturbing matters may trigger an emotional response. Read at your own risk.**
In sunny Southern California, Jordan has been relying on partying to guide her through life, alongside her brother and best friends. Between surfing, boating, and beach days, her time is spent engaging in reckless activities and love interests who make her feel less-than. Having built-up strong walls around her, she's happy with the limited people that she has let inside.
Until she meets Adrian.
Throwing caution to the wind, Adrian lives for himself, letting his now-or-never mentality rule his actions and beliefs. Actions and beliefs that are rooted in dark trauma and past betrayals. Adrian has had to learn to fend for himself from a young age, and in order to do so without cracking under pressure, unwanted habits have formed at his mercy.
When all of her best friends and brother warn Jordan to stay away from Adrian, she treads lightly, though that's hard to do when his eyes are only meant for her. When she finally learns why they were so cautious around him, it's too late, and she has been sucked into the vortex of falling for the one that she should have stayed far away from.
** Mature content, adult language, graphic sexual content, and disturbing matters may trigger an emotional response. Read at your own risk.**
355 pages, Paperback
Published March 29, 2022
476 people are currently reading
7271 people want to read
About the author
Ashley Rae
2 books57 followersAshley Rae is a California native who loves to read all genres. When her nose isn't in a book, she's likely traveling, snowboarding, riding ATVs, or spending time with family.
Ashley writes books with flawed characters which shine a light on issues people like to keep in the dark. While her main genre is romance, she will always incorporate other aspects into her story.
Ashley writes books with flawed characters which shine a light on issues people like to keep in the dark. While her main genre is romance, she will always incorporate other aspects into her story.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 107 reviews
July 18, 2022
2 stars if that. I felt like the plot was underwhelming. All these obstacles are introduced and none of them were resolved, even the small ones. Felt like it did a shitty job of reflecting on how hard drug addiction can be. I also felt like everyone turned on Adrian who clearly needed help because he lied about addiction when EVERYONE ELSE IN THEIR LIFE also knew and not only didnt tell Jordan but also didnt do anything to help him?? I felt like the relationship should’ve been developed more as opposed to them meeting one singular time and him automatically being like “wow she makes me FEEL again.” I also felt like they didn’t ever really lean on each other, just hung out and fucked. Also felt like no one ever held Jordan accountable for anything she does wrong or her drug use or how she never opens up except Adrian, but when its vice versa everyone came down hard on him. The smut wasn’t great but was decent.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
August 5, 2022
⭐️ 3.75
June 5, 2022
A lot of drug/alcohol abuse in this book, which is in the trigger warnings! So I’m not complaining, I went into the book expecting it but just a fair warning.
It started getting bad at 80%, I wanted to DNF but decided to just stick it out.
Adrian was a selfish, arrogant, gas lighting asshole who didn’t deserve Jordan. Their relationship started off cute and fun but Adrian was so controlling of her yet he wouldn’t even call her his girlfriend??
She ‘wasn’t allowed’ to snort a line of coke or get too drunk but he could pop 8 benzos a day??
I am team Ryan all the way! (no love triangle, he’s just a friend but he is 100x better than Adrian)
It started getting bad at 80%, I wanted to DNF but decided to just stick it out.
Adrian was a selfish, arrogant, gas lighting asshole who didn’t deserve Jordan. Their relationship started off cute and fun but Adrian was so controlling of her yet he wouldn’t even call her his girlfriend??
She ‘wasn’t allowed’ to snort a line of coke or get too drunk but he could pop 8 benzos a day??
I am team Ryan all the way! (no love triangle, he’s just a friend but he is 100x better than Adrian)
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 8, 2022
I need to stop reading books that I see a one sentence snippet of on Tiktok. DNF-Ed this book at 20% if that.
March 8, 2024
So many twists at the end!
April 29, 2022
This is a 3.5 star for me but rounded up to 4 on Goodreads.
This was sent to me as a gift by the author in exchange for an honest review.
I blew through this novel in less than 24 hours. Ashley did a wonderful job creating angst between the two main characters, Adrian and Jordan.
If Outer Banks was a romance book blended in with the problems of Euphoria and sprinkle in the toxicity of After - this is that book. So if you love any of the above then you’ll like this book.
Adrian and Jordan’s relationship was a whirlwind romance. And while I rooted for them, I also wanted to slap them. Both had addictions and inner demons of their own that they refused to deal with and I wish that some of the plot points were addressed more. She left them open-ended which I can only assume she’ll answer some in her second novel coming in summer of this year.
I’m emotionally invested and with that cliffhanger I’m definitely curious to see what happens.
TWs: drunk driving, addiction, substance abuse.
This was sent to me as a gift by the author in exchange for an honest review.
I blew through this novel in less than 24 hours. Ashley did a wonderful job creating angst between the two main characters, Adrian and Jordan.
If Outer Banks was a romance book blended in with the problems of Euphoria and sprinkle in the toxicity of After - this is that book. So if you love any of the above then you’ll like this book.
Adrian and Jordan’s relationship was a whirlwind romance. And while I rooted for them, I also wanted to slap them. Both had addictions and inner demons of their own that they refused to deal with and I wish that some of the plot points were addressed more. She left them open-ended which I can only assume she’ll answer some in her second novel coming in summer of this year.
I’m emotionally invested and with that cliffhanger I’m definitely curious to see what happens.
TWs: drunk driving, addiction, substance abuse.
June 16, 2022
i still don’t know if this is 3 or 4 stars yet, i’m still trying to process everything.
as much as this isn’t my usual cup of tea, i really liked this book. the way it portrayed hard topics such as addiction & trauma was really good.
i don’t know who i would recommend this book because of the amount of trigger warnings it has. if you want to read it, definitely check them.
jordan and adrian are it for each other, i absolutely loved the way his relationship developed and can’t wait to see how it goes on from the end of this book.
as much as this isn’t my usual cup of tea, i really liked this book. the way it portrayed hard topics such as addiction & trauma was really good.
i don’t know who i would recommend this book because of the amount of trigger warnings it has. if you want to read it, definitely check them.
jordan and adrian are it for each other, i absolutely loved the way his relationship developed and can’t wait to see how it goes on from the end of this book.
July 11, 2022
4-star review!!!
This one was just so freaking sad… The cliffhanger at the end aggravated me too much. Jordan’s and Adrian’s story is so emotional and raw and filled with real ups and downs. Even tho the story felt like it dragged a bit towards the middle, it was still captivating. This book is not for people who cannot handle heavy substance abuse in books. But I do recommend!
This one was just so freaking sad… The cliffhanger at the end aggravated me too much. Jordan’s and Adrian’s story is so emotional and raw and filled with real ups and downs. Even tho the story felt like it dragged a bit towards the middle, it was still captivating. This book is not for people who cannot handle heavy substance abuse in books. But I do recommend!
January 24, 2023
this book was an extremely easy read and left off on a cliff hanger!! i must read book 2!
July 22, 2022
I feel bad, but this book really isn’t good. Kinda felt like a fever dream. There’s a lot of typos which was distracting. It’s kind of an insta love thing but we really don’t learn why. Adrian just loves her instantly. It’s kind of glossed over they have these deep conversations, but we don’t actually see any of them. They get high and bang. The timing of the story is confusing. Sometimes im not sure if a day has gone by or a month. No one in the book is living an even somewhat healthy lifestyle and it’s concerning haha. It’s the same conversations repeated over and over with the plot not really advancing at all.
Another thing that bugged- I’m well aware this is part one. But even in a series that ends on a cliff hanger, I believe SOME loose ends should be tied up. Here’s a paragraph about all the cash Adrian has. Let’s never mention it again. Never give a single other clue to what he could be doing on the side to make him so rich. Oh an ominous black SUV outside of Jordan’s house… let’s literally never mention it again. Like for the sake of a story, I think these things should have tied into something bigger so we at least want to read the second book???
I think for a first book, this is fine I guess. I won’t read the second one. I think it could have been a lot better with some hard core editing.
Another thing that bugged- I’m well aware this is part one. But even in a series that ends on a cliff hanger, I believe SOME loose ends should be tied up. Here’s a paragraph about all the cash Adrian has. Let’s never mention it again. Never give a single other clue to what he could be doing on the side to make him so rich. Oh an ominous black SUV outside of Jordan’s house… let’s literally never mention it again. Like for the sake of a story, I think these things should have tied into something bigger so we at least want to read the second book???
I think for a first book, this is fine I guess. I won’t read the second one. I think it could have been a lot better with some hard core editing.
April 7, 2022
This is the first book that I e read by this author and it did not disappoint. Jordan is that all around CA girl, party mode, surfing, beach life, guys, friends and doing all the crazy stuff. But she is very guarded and doesn’t let a lot of people see the real her. Adrian had a dark past and is very mysterious. He has to rely on himself only due to the betrayals in the past. And he’s the “bad guy” all of Jordan’s friends warn her about. But can Jordan stay away from Adrian? Will she let her guard down with him? Is Adrian really the bad guy her friends warned her about?
This book will captivate you from the very beginning. But please check the trigger warnings. Full of mystery, angst, steam and oh so worth it. And that cliffhanger! Can’t wait for book 2.
I received this arc and am voluntarily leaving my honest opinion.
This book will captivate you from the very beginning. But please check the trigger warnings. Full of mystery, angst, steam and oh so worth it. And that cliffhanger! Can’t wait for book 2.
I received this arc and am voluntarily leaving my honest opinion.
June 25, 2022
This book is EMOTIONAL. It’s heart wrenching and causes you to feel so much empathy for the characters. The plot to this book revolves around drug abuse and addiction. You think before reading you understand addiction, but you really don’t until you are seeing it through these characters. You want to scream at them to stop but you know they can’t. I rated this book a 4 instead of a 5 due to the book making me feel too sad. At times I didn’t want to continue reading. I also noticed a lot of grammatical errors that irked me while I read. Despite that, I’m looking forward to the next book in the series. The first book leaves you on a major cliff hanger.
June 28, 2022
Wow, this book was emotional and heart wrenching. The book revolves around the two main characters, Adrian and Jordan, and their battles with addiction and dealing with past trauma.
Ashley Rae has written characters that made me feel. These characters were flawed, imperfect, and real. I was so invested in the book. The character’s actions made me frustrated and after reading this book I felt empty emotionally because of the heavy topics.
The cliffhanger nearly ripped my heart out. I can’t wait for the second book!
Rating: 4/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Ashley Rae has written characters that made me feel. These characters were flawed, imperfect, and real. I was so invested in the book. The character’s actions made me frustrated and after reading this book I felt empty emotionally because of the heavy topics.
The cliffhanger nearly ripped my heart out. I can’t wait for the second book!
Rating: 4/5 ⭐⭐⭐⭐
June 19, 2022
WOW!!! This book is so amazing I cannot wait to read the second in September. The storylines are so thought out and intertwined. I love a good dual POV so that was fantastic.
It was so deep and heart wrenching to read about the demons and addictions the characters are facing and at such young ages. Very dark.
-1 star bc the kindle edition was missing some pages??
It was so deep and heart wrenching to read about the demons and addictions the characters are facing and at such young ages. Very dark.
-1 star bc the kindle edition was missing some pages??
June 25, 2022
This is Book 1 of Adrian and Jordan's story and the Author's debut novel. This story has a lot of potential and it deals with a lot of hard topics - drug addiction, reckless behavior, parental neglect, and alcoholism. It was written in a very realistic way and the characters actions (although frustrating at times) were reflective of their age.
Adrian is young when a tragic event causes his family to move back to Honduras, while he stays in America - alone. He works at a club and spends most of his time high on pills, to the point where most of his friends probably wouldn't know what a sober Adrian looks like. He is presented as a high functioning addict, and almost convinces us that he is ok through most of the story. He meets Jordan through mutual friends and her brother.
Jordan's home life is not great. Her father moved on to a new family and her mother is an alcoholic. Jordan does her share of partying and using drugs as a coping mechanism as well. She's guarded and doesn't let many people get close to her.
Her brother warns her away from Adrian on a regular basis, indicating he's just not a good guy - and doesn't really provide any further detail. I'm a little conflicted about this because the brother is also friends with Adrian and honestly he doesn't seem to be any worse off than the rest of them when it comes to bad habits.
I don't want to give too much away and spoil the story, but I felt Jordan's reaction to Adrian's honesty was a bit dramatic. It seems like everyone turns their back on him to support Jordan's decision - even though they all participate in the same bad habits. I feel like their friends could have done a whole lot more for both of them.
There are a lot of obstacles introduced and not a lot of resolution (I'm guessing that will come in Book 2). I didn't feel a huge connection to the characters, or their connection to each other - however I think I probably just need to spend more time with them.
This ends on a pretty big and emotional cliff-hanger. I'm invested enough to want to read book 2, which I think is scheduled for a September 2022 release.
Adrian is young when a tragic event causes his family to move back to Honduras, while he stays in America - alone. He works at a club and spends most of his time high on pills, to the point where most of his friends probably wouldn't know what a sober Adrian looks like. He is presented as a high functioning addict, and almost convinces us that he is ok through most of the story. He meets Jordan through mutual friends and her brother.
Jordan's home life is not great. Her father moved on to a new family and her mother is an alcoholic. Jordan does her share of partying and using drugs as a coping mechanism as well. She's guarded and doesn't let many people get close to her.
Her brother warns her away from Adrian on a regular basis, indicating he's just not a good guy - and doesn't really provide any further detail. I'm a little conflicted about this because the brother is also friends with Adrian and honestly he doesn't seem to be any worse off than the rest of them when it comes to bad habits.
I don't want to give too much away and spoil the story, but I felt Jordan's reaction to Adrian's honesty was a bit dramatic. It seems like everyone turns their back on him to support Jordan's decision - even though they all participate in the same bad habits. I feel like their friends could have done a whole lot more for both of them.
There are a lot of obstacles introduced and not a lot of resolution (I'm guessing that will come in Book 2). I didn't feel a huge connection to the characters, or their connection to each other - however I think I probably just need to spend more time with them.
This ends on a pretty big and emotional cliff-hanger. I'm invested enough to want to read book 2, which I think is scheduled for a September 2022 release.
October 17, 2022
Wow..
before we drowned - ashley rae
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / 5
spice - 2/5
some of my favorite quotes :
“Mourning someone who is still alive is so contradictory. You mourn the version of them you love when the other side of them shows face. But when the good side is around, you learn to enjoy it. To try not to think about how long it will last before they flip on you once again.”
“The first fucking kiss I had ever cared about, the only lips that ever left an imprint on every part of me.”
sometimes i feel pressured to feel a certain way about books or to not like certain things about books. but in all honestly i loved this book. i’ve never read something that dealt with drug addiction & romance before, and to me, this was good. watching two people with the rest of their lives ahead of them, battle something so horrible, was heart crushing. i can’t wait to read more about these two!
before we drowned - ashley rae
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ / 5
spice - 2/5
some of my favorite quotes :
“Mourning someone who is still alive is so contradictory. You mourn the version of them you love when the other side of them shows face. But when the good side is around, you learn to enjoy it. To try not to think about how long it will last before they flip on you once again.”
“The first fucking kiss I had ever cared about, the only lips that ever left an imprint on every part of me.”
sometimes i feel pressured to feel a certain way about books or to not like certain things about books. but in all honestly i loved this book. i’ve never read something that dealt with drug addiction & romance before, and to me, this was good. watching two people with the rest of their lives ahead of them, battle something so horrible, was heart crushing. i can’t wait to read more about these two!
September 1, 2022
Ok so this very obviously the authors first time writing a book which is an amazing accomplishment in itself so that’s why I’m giving it 4 starts instead of 3! Though the quality of writing isn’t amazing and the dialogue is kinda repetitive, I wanted to keep reading to find out what happened between Jordan and Adrian which is more than I can say for some other books I’ve read by experienced authors. Also, It didn’t feel like this book really had a solid plot, it’s mostly character driven which isn’t normally my cup of tea but I didn’t ever wanna dnf! I also didn’t feel particularly connected to the characters but that said, I do wanna read book 2 when it comes out just for the tea and I’m interested to see what happens next as it kinda left on a cliffhanger!
June 15, 2022
This book intrigued me by the mention of trigger warnings? Maybe it’s weird but i recently read a book that didn’t have trigger warnings and i kind of wish it did. I still read said book and loved every second of it just hit too close to home
ANYWAY liked this book because it felt more real then how some of these books portray relationships. Addiction is hard and loving an addict is sometimes just as hard. I appreciate that that author did not romanticize being in love with an addict which made it feel more real! There is a huge cliffhanger at the end and the book doesn’t come out til September but overall this book is worth the read!
ANYWAY liked this book because it felt more real then how some of these books portray relationships. Addiction is hard and loving an addict is sometimes just as hard. I appreciate that that author did not romanticize being in love with an addict which made it feel more real! There is a huge cliffhanger at the end and the book doesn’t come out til September but overall this book is worth the read!
September 7, 2024
8/10.
Favorite Quotes:
"If the world goes up in flames around you, you might as well join the party."
"A veces el remedio es peor que la enfermedad - Sometimes the remedy is worse than the disease."
"Mourning someone who is still in your life is so contradicting. You mourn the version of them you love when the other side of them shows their face."
"Who cares about what is going to happen tomorrow or what happened yesterday? It's all just a drop in the bucket. Being yourself and making the most out of what life offers you is much more fulfilling than worrying about what ifs that will never come true."
Favorite Quotes:
"If the world goes up in flames around you, you might as well join the party."
"A veces el remedio es peor que la enfermedad - Sometimes the remedy is worse than the disease."
"Mourning someone who is still in your life is so contradicting. You mourn the version of them you love when the other side of them shows their face."
"Who cares about what is going to happen tomorrow or what happened yesterday? It's all just a drop in the bucket. Being yourself and making the most out of what life offers you is much more fulfilling than worrying about what ifs that will never come true."
August 20, 2022
The last 25% of this book is the only reason I’ll read the second book. I’m so tired of reading the exact same references “fire and ice” okay we get it opposites attract. I thought our Mmc was wayyyyy more interesting than our fmc. Her whole personality was overthinking and giving short answers. The plot could have been solved within 20 pages if Jordan’s friends AND HER OWN BROTHER would have told her the truth that they all knew from the start. And how convenient they’ve all been in the same friend group yet Jordan and Adrian never met before
July 11, 2023
This book is SO descriptive when it comes to the highs and lows of experiencing different drugs. Ashley did a wonderful job showcasing different experiences of addiction including loved ones who witness what an addict goes through. I cried, I laughed, I couldn’t put it down! Through out this book I experienced sooo many different emotions!!
The ending left me instantly downloading the next book from my TBR. I’ve never wanted a character to pull his head out of his a** as much as I want Dre to!!! I am rooting for Jo & Dre!!
The ending left me instantly downloading the next book from my TBR. I’ve never wanted a character to pull his head out of his a** as much as I want Dre to!!! I am rooting for Jo & Dre!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 30, 2024
I was floating between 3-4 stars the whole time while reading.
I would definitely check the trigger warnings as it has a strong storyline of addiction. I thought the pace was fast which was expected as it was a short book. I did really enjoy it, just not how quickly everything happened I guess.
Even though it was a strongly subjected book, I found it to be a nice easy read (if that makes sense).
I would definitely check the trigger warnings as it has a strong storyline of addiction. I thought the pace was fast which was expected as it was a short book. I did really enjoy it, just not how quickly everything happened I guess.
Even though it was a strongly subjected book, I found it to be a nice easy read (if that makes sense).
June 17, 2022
This book was very meh. I feel like it didn’t have much of a realistic storyline even though there were lots of opportunities to build one off of. It had an option to dive into so many real issues people deal with (TW: Addictions, drubbing and driving, etc) but it barely scraped the surface. There was also a LOT of swears in the writing which personally, isn’t my thing. Would not recommend.
BUT it was steamy.
BUT it was steamy.
June 22, 2022
Wow just wow. I was not expecting this book to be drag me in so hard and leave me crying. Such an emotional and real story. You feel for all of the characters. The ending left me dead and I need the 2nd book asap.
August 4, 2022
Brothers Best Friend Romance
Well for starters it was a good book. I am not big on drugs so I didn’t know some of the slang and got confused a few times. I love that shifting point of view. And the end is a cliff hanger!
Well for starters it was a good book. I am not big on drugs so I didn’t know some of the slang and got confused a few times. I love that shifting point of view. And the end is a cliff hanger!
June 26, 2023
Just okay. Didn’t like the characters even though the main guy had most of the traits I like, he was too egotistical for my taste. Loved the ending and will not be reading the rest of the books because I know the ending will change in them.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 19, 2023
Definitely a spicy read! The writing was good. Unnecessary foul language in my opinion at times but I’d like to chalk it up to the age of the characters. Story line was an easy read after a heavy read. Enjoyed it enough to purchase the other 2 in the series!
July 22, 2025
Up until the last 50 pages I would have rated this a 2 but the ending honestly made it all make sense! Not my typical read and at many points I wanted to scream at all of the characters, but reading the afterward, I realized that was Rae’s intention! I’m probably going to continue the series now :)
May 26, 2022
I read this book in a day and I need the second one right now!!! I keep thinking about the ending and I can’t wait to see what happens in the second book.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 107 reviews