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Born Extraordinary: Empowering Children with Differences and Disabilities
A parent’s guide to empowering children to embrace their visible and invisible differences
Meg Zucker was born with one finger on each hand, shortened forearms, and one toe on each misshapen foot, caused by a genetic condition called ectrodactyly. She would eventually pass this condition on to her two sons, and, along with her husband, raise them and their adopted daughter, who has her own invisible differences. Born of the family’s hard-won experiences, this book offers invaluable advice on raising confident, empathetic, and resilient children who succeed, not despite but because of their differences.
Born Extraordinary helps parents of children with differences and disabilities to relinquish their instinctive anxieties, embrace their new normal, and ultimately find joy in watching their children thrive. Often the subjects of unwanted attention—ranging from pitying stares to bullying—Zucker and her sons have learned to ignore what others think and live fearlessly. Also incorporating the stories of other families with visible and invisible differences of all kinds, Born Extraordinary gives parents the tools to meet their children’s emotional needs while supporting the whole family unit. Parents learn how best to empower their children to confront others’ assumptions, grow in confidence, and encourage dialogue—rather than silence, fear, and shame—around difference.
Meg Zucker was born with one finger on each hand, shortened forearms, and one toe on each misshapen foot, caused by a genetic condition called ectrodactyly. She would eventually pass this condition on to her two sons, and, along with her husband, raise them and their adopted daughter, who has her own invisible differences. Born of the family’s hard-won experiences, this book offers invaluable advice on raising confident, empathetic, and resilient children who succeed, not despite but because of their differences.
Born Extraordinary helps parents of children with differences and disabilities to relinquish their instinctive anxieties, embrace their new normal, and ultimately find joy in watching their children thrive. Often the subjects of unwanted attention—ranging from pitying stares to bullying—Zucker and her sons have learned to ignore what others think and live fearlessly. Also incorporating the stories of other families with visible and invisible differences of all kinds, Born Extraordinary gives parents the tools to meet their children’s emotional needs while supporting the whole family unit. Parents learn how best to empower their children to confront others’ assumptions, grow in confidence, and encourage dialogue—rather than silence, fear, and shame—around difference.
272 pages, Paperback
Published March 7, 2023
14 people are currently reading
206 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
April 4, 2023
I’m really glad Tarcher-Perigree gifted me this book because it’s not something I would have sought out but I got so much insight not only on parenting a disabled kid but actually on widowhood too. I learned about leaning OUT and letting him try things I know will not work so he can accept his limitations… or maybe exceed my expectations and gain independence. I was also reminded that what other people think of me is not my business and the right people will stick around and treat us with respect.
As far as widowhood, the author discusses things like people telling her she’s amazing for simply living her life in the circumstances she has. And people saying they’re so happy they don’t have to live the way she does. And offensive weird comments. Visibly disabled people gets these all the time but so do I as a young widow! The author helped me to understand why people say these things so hopefully in the future it will be easier to brush these comments off.
An important book to own if you’re in either of these positions!
As far as widowhood, the author discusses things like people telling her she’s amazing for simply living her life in the circumstances she has. And people saying they’re so happy they don’t have to live the way she does. And offensive weird comments. Visibly disabled people gets these all the time but so do I as a young widow! The author helped me to understand why people say these things so hopefully in the future it will be easier to brush these comments off.
An important book to own if you’re in either of these positions!
December 28, 2024
I started taking my son to library story times when he was around 14 months. He has a chromosome abmornality, and while adorable, does have a slightly "different" look. He has developmental delays, and so wasn't as interactive as his peers, but generally was enjoying the atmosphere of story time. One morning, at a story time for all young children, a girl between 3 and 4 years old stared at my son for several moments. And then said, "I don't like him." My son, of course, didn't notice, and I ignored her and carried on, but as we drove home I cried. Who wouldn't like my son? What was this kids' problem? I was upset with myself for letting my feelings be hurt by a toddler. I knew it wouldn't be the last time something like that would happen. And I knew that staying home was not the answer.
I was a self-conscious preteen, teen and young adult, and shied away from uncomfortable situations where I felt judged. I know my son may have even bigger challenges than I did growing up, and I know I need to be stronger than I was, so I can help him be strong, too.
Meg Zucker was born with limb differences, and her two biological sons were born with the same limb differences. Her adopted daughter has ADHD and autism. In Born Extraordinary, Zucker shares how her parents raised her to push past her physical and mental limitations, and she also shares how learning how to empower her own children was a bigger challenge than one would expect.
I appreciated Zucker's candidness about her struggles as a person with differences, AND as a parent of children with differences. The majority of the book, it seems, has the main idea that: you can't control how others react, but you can control how you react. Reading about specific situations of bullying, gawking, pitying and failures really felt applicable to what I (we) have experienced, or might experience as my son gets older. (He's now 3 years old.) I could relate to Zucker on some of her feelings and techniques for handling things, and I read about many potential situations and how to handle them personally, or how to help your child handle them. I think being proactive will help me handle certain challenges when they may come. Beyond Zucker's observations, she included several personal essays from children with differences and disabilities, and family members of those children. It's a great way to feel connected, and Zucker has even started several different social movements and non-profits that we may consider joining in the future. I can see reading this book again when I am in need of ideas of how to handle societal challenges, and when I need the reminder that we are not alone.
I was a self-conscious preteen, teen and young adult, and shied away from uncomfortable situations where I felt judged. I know my son may have even bigger challenges than I did growing up, and I know I need to be stronger than I was, so I can help him be strong, too.
Meg Zucker was born with limb differences, and her two biological sons were born with the same limb differences. Her adopted daughter has ADHD and autism. In Born Extraordinary, Zucker shares how her parents raised her to push past her physical and mental limitations, and she also shares how learning how to empower her own children was a bigger challenge than one would expect.
I appreciated Zucker's candidness about her struggles as a person with differences, AND as a parent of children with differences. The majority of the book, it seems, has the main idea that: you can't control how others react, but you can control how you react. Reading about specific situations of bullying, gawking, pitying and failures really felt applicable to what I (we) have experienced, or might experience as my son gets older. (He's now 3 years old.) I could relate to Zucker on some of her feelings and techniques for handling things, and I read about many potential situations and how to handle them personally, or how to help your child handle them. I think being proactive will help me handle certain challenges when they may come. Beyond Zucker's observations, she included several personal essays from children with differences and disabilities, and family members of those children. It's a great way to feel connected, and Zucker has even started several different social movements and non-profits that we may consider joining in the future. I can see reading this book again when I am in need of ideas of how to handle societal challenges, and when I need the reminder that we are not alone.
May 6, 2023
A really heartfelt and wonderful book written by someone who cares not just about making the world a better place for her own children, but for everyone else’s too. Couldn’t recommend this book enough!
September 9, 2023
I liked this book but feel some of the suggestions are most appropriate for parents of kids with only physical differences and not more complex needs. Favorite part were all the essays other families submitted at the end.
June 10, 2023
This is a wonderful book and I highly recommend it.
Thank you TarcherPerigee for the finished copy.
Thank you TarcherPerigee for the finished copy.
August 3, 2023
Great resource not only for parents or teachers of children with different abilities or disabilities, but also for the general population. I appreciated the author’s candor about her feelings from people’s reactions and comments about her differences. Her stories better inform how I interact with people so that they feel a sense of belonging in whatever space we’re in.
September 10, 2023
This compassionate, clearly written, and very engaging book tackles questions that EVERY family should address, whether or not they live with differences that cause them special challenges. Ms. Zucker beautifully addresses crucial concerns: What is it like to live with a visible difference (one which also might be a physical difficulty)—especially if it's a difference that others find upsetting to look at, or hard NOT to stare at? How can a person parent a child with such a visible difference so that the child grows up confident, discovers her or his gifts, and enjoys strong friendships? What is it like to have or to parent someone with an INVISIBLE difference—one that significantly affects life yet isn't obvious to others, at least not at first? And what are the best ways for people WITHOUT such differences to interact with those who do have the differences? How can people with visible or invisible differences react optimally to others' behaviors towards them, whether those behaviors are bullying, insensitive, kindly-intended but intrusive, pitying, inflexible, or helpfully creative and useful? How might the responses of people with differences vary depending on the ages of the people who are interacting with them (children versus adults)? How can parents of those with differences help their children develop good coping strategies, both in their interactions with others and within their own minds? Ms. Zucker's enormous wisdom, self-acceptance, humility, and warmth come through on each and every page. She constantly gives examples from her own life, the lives of her children, and the lives of others she knows who have navigated living with important visible and invisible challenges. The many true stories she tells the reader all make her extremely useful suggestions come to life! Ms. Zucker understands the confusion and misunderstandings that people often have in interacting with those who have differences, addressing that confusion with compassion while also suggesting optimal ways for everyone involved to honor one anothers' dignity.
March 11, 2023
This is an invaluable guide for parents of all kinds, but in particular those whose children have a disability, or are seen as less than a full person by others. It's basically a primer on how to treat other people with dignity, and how to teach your kids to follow your example.
I think any parent would benefit from Meg's very personal anecdotes of struggle to gain her dignity, and how she had to find ways to overcome the challenges of having been born with one finger on each hand and one toe on each foot (ectrodactyly) to be accepted by her peers and in society.
When Meg discovered that her children had a 50% chance of inheriting her condition, she admits to having to face her greatest fear. But then she remembered how her parents raised her, and how she struggled against the fears and expectations she was potentially transferring onto her own children. Why was she now not giving her kids the benefit of the doubt? She had to raise them with a sense of radical self acceptance, and also to teach it by example, to as many people as she could.
There are also stories from dozens of other parents, and easily grasped pointers and techniques for raising your kids to be empathetic adults.
People can be cruel or careless, usually without knowing the effect they have on young kids who are just learning what they can or can't do. But if a child with a difference that makes other people look at them with pity or fear is instead raised to believe there is no limit to what they accomplish, they can and do succeed. But it's a difficult road, and this book is like a roadmap to the emotional terrain.
Everyone has their own challenges to face, but when you read Meg's story, you'll know you aren't alone. Give your kids the benefit of the doubt, don't assume they can't do things. And learn positive ways to shape other people's expectations, by not over reacting, but by the kindness and dignity of your example.
I think any parent would benefit from Meg's very personal anecdotes of struggle to gain her dignity, and how she had to find ways to overcome the challenges of having been born with one finger on each hand and one toe on each foot (ectrodactyly) to be accepted by her peers and in society.
When Meg discovered that her children had a 50% chance of inheriting her condition, she admits to having to face her greatest fear. But then she remembered how her parents raised her, and how she struggled against the fears and expectations she was potentially transferring onto her own children. Why was she now not giving her kids the benefit of the doubt? She had to raise them with a sense of radical self acceptance, and also to teach it by example, to as many people as she could.
There are also stories from dozens of other parents, and easily grasped pointers and techniques for raising your kids to be empathetic adults.
People can be cruel or careless, usually without knowing the effect they have on young kids who are just learning what they can or can't do. But if a child with a difference that makes other people look at them with pity or fear is instead raised to believe there is no limit to what they accomplish, they can and do succeed. But it's a difficult road, and this book is like a roadmap to the emotional terrain.
Everyone has their own challenges to face, but when you read Meg's story, you'll know you aren't alone. Give your kids the benefit of the doubt, don't assume they can't do things. And learn positive ways to shape other people's expectations, by not over reacting, but by the kindness and dignity of your example.
April 2, 2024
I am a patient leader and advocate for Ankylosing Spondylitis, and chronic illness/disability in general. I also am a teacher and in my 18 years in the classroom I have had several students who were, as the author says, "different". However, I have found it incredibly difficult to cross my two worlds as teacher and advocate. As an advocate, I love talking about my chronic illness, however my students never want to talk about their conditions. They prefer to hide them from their peers, even if it is plainly obvious. So, my goal for 2024 was to figure out a way that I could help these awesomely different kids feel more comfortable with their conditions, and "Born Extraordinary" just happened to pop up in my suggested reads!
I loved this book and how candid both Meg Zucker and the other parents who's stories were shared were. I really learned a lot about the minds of chronically ill/disabled/different kids and their parents. How they struggled, and then found their groove. How their kids thrived both physically and socially. And, how to deal with bullies, and those who mean well, but totally do it wrong.
(Don't be the praying mantis) My next step is to learn more from her non-profit "Don't Hide It, Flaunt It" and learn more about being an ally to these kids and their parents.
I didn't totally agree with everything the author said. (I'm one of those people who find strength in being "disabled") But, that is okay, because nobody is going to approach this world in the same way, we are all just doing what we can with what we have.
I highly recommend this book for anyone who lives with/works with a child who is different.
Or if you are a little different, and need to hear stories about people just like you.
I loved this book and how candid both Meg Zucker and the other parents who's stories were shared were. I really learned a lot about the minds of chronically ill/disabled/different kids and their parents. How they struggled, and then found their groove. How their kids thrived both physically and socially. And, how to deal with bullies, and those who mean well, but totally do it wrong.
(Don't be the praying mantis) My next step is to learn more from her non-profit "Don't Hide It, Flaunt It" and learn more about being an ally to these kids and their parents.
I didn't totally agree with everything the author said. (I'm one of those people who find strength in being "disabled") But, that is okay, because nobody is going to approach this world in the same way, we are all just doing what we can with what we have.
I highly recommend this book for anyone who lives with/works with a child who is different.
Or if you are a little different, and need to hear stories about people just like you.
October 9, 2025
“My humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together.” — Desmond Tutu
Meg Zucker’s Born Extraordinary is a deeply moving and empowering exploration of difference, belonging, and the universal desire to be seen for who we truly are. Through her candid storytelling and powerful advocacy, Zucker invites readers into her world — as a mother raising children with visible differences and as someone who has walked that path herself. Her writing radiates warmth, humor, and hard-earned wisdom, reminding us that embracing what makes us unique is not just brave, but transformative.
What stands out most is Zucker’s ability to balance vulnerability with strength. She doesn’t shy away from the challenges, misconceptions, and discomfort that come with being “different” in a world obsessed with sameness. Instead, she reframes difference as a form of strength — a gift that can teach empathy, resilience, and compassion. The book beautifully embodies Desmond Tutu’s words: our humanity truly is bound together, and Zucker shows that inclusion is not an act of charity, but of shared growth.
If there’s one small con, it’s that some chapters feel slightly repetitive in theme — revisiting similar emotional lessons multiple times. However, this repetition also reinforces the book’s message: learning to see ourselves and others as extraordinary is a lifelong, layered journey.
Overall, Born Extraordinary is heartfelt, hopeful, and essential reading for anyone — parent, teacher, or friend — who wants to build a more compassionate world. It’s a reminder that our differences are not something to overcome, but something to celebrate.
Meg Zucker’s Born Extraordinary is a deeply moving and empowering exploration of difference, belonging, and the universal desire to be seen for who we truly are. Through her candid storytelling and powerful advocacy, Zucker invites readers into her world — as a mother raising children with visible differences and as someone who has walked that path herself. Her writing radiates warmth, humor, and hard-earned wisdom, reminding us that embracing what makes us unique is not just brave, but transformative.
What stands out most is Zucker’s ability to balance vulnerability with strength. She doesn’t shy away from the challenges, misconceptions, and discomfort that come with being “different” in a world obsessed with sameness. Instead, she reframes difference as a form of strength — a gift that can teach empathy, resilience, and compassion. The book beautifully embodies Desmond Tutu’s words: our humanity truly is bound together, and Zucker shows that inclusion is not an act of charity, but of shared growth.
If there’s one small con, it’s that some chapters feel slightly repetitive in theme — revisiting similar emotional lessons multiple times. However, this repetition also reinforces the book’s message: learning to see ourselves and others as extraordinary is a lifelong, layered journey.
Overall, Born Extraordinary is heartfelt, hopeful, and essential reading for anyone — parent, teacher, or friend — who wants to build a more compassionate world. It’s a reminder that our differences are not something to overcome, but something to celebrate.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 12, 2023
The author's writing style is crisp and engaging. The book is as much memoir as guide to creating an environment where children (and adults) are encouraged to reveal and honor their individual gifts. This is evident from the author's encounter as a young child in Israel (the first few pages).
I found this book to be equally inspiring for individuals who care for adult parents - as they age - they may feel increasingly marginalized. I read it from that point of view - and I was not disappointed.
I read the book quickly because it is so highly readable. However, the author's life, her passion to empower parents with knowledge and children with fierce self-advocacy is inspiring and lingers long after the book ends. A book that professionals in the medical, educational, and political fields must read.
I found this book to be equally inspiring for individuals who care for adult parents - as they age - they may feel increasingly marginalized. I read it from that point of view - and I was not disappointed.
I read the book quickly because it is so highly readable. However, the author's life, her passion to empower parents with knowledge and children with fierce self-advocacy is inspiring and lingers long after the book ends. A book that professionals in the medical, educational, and political fields must read.
September 22, 2023
I met the author while on spring break and as we chatted during our time on a tour together it came up that I am a librarian and she is a newly published author. I finally purchased, downloaded, and listened to the audiobook a few months later. I loved it. So much to take from it as a teacher of all kinds of humans, but also there were so many things that made me think about things I could do differently as a mom. My child struggles with anxiety and depression and there were little parenting nuggets I kept writing down as I listened to Meg’s words. I also took away so many things to consider when kids are curious vs cruel and/or if they are in the bully category. I feel super grateful our paths crossed and I’m looking forward to following Meg’s journey with both her book and nonprofit. Grateful she shared her story.
April 14, 2023
This extremely well-written, easy-to-read, and impossible-not-to-learn-from book touched me on so many levels. Whether you have a difference or are raising someone who does, there is at least one chapter in this book that will speak to you. “Born Extraordinary” is truly the best parenting book I’ve ever read; the lessons apply to parents of kids of all ages, even “children” who are adults (and I’ve given it to my adult children to read). One of my favorite lessons is to let go and let live, the message being that our children are much better off when we serve as their coach rather than their stunt double. Sharing her own experiences from childhood through the parenting years, Meg Zucker writes from the heart about how to be and raise good and confident humans.
April 24, 2023
Recommended by a friend, I couldn't put this book down! As an adult who suffered from traumatic childhood illness, I read it through the lens of a child who felt different and an adult who appreciates the perspective of being "Born Extraordinary."
This book is packed with thoughtful and compassionate guidance on how to help guide children with invisible and visible differences to self acceptance/love. This in turn enables them to live their best life.
Books like this stand to make the world a kinder place - I highly recommend "Born Extraordinary."
This book is packed with thoughtful and compassionate guidance on how to help guide children with invisible and visible differences to self acceptance/love. This in turn enables them to live their best life.
Books like this stand to make the world a kinder place - I highly recommend "Born Extraordinary."
April 27, 2023
Any parent (or human) could benefit from listening to a book that discusses how to help kids (and others people) be more opening and understanding to both physical and less visible differences. It is hard coming to grips when you are the parent to a child with some kind of “difference” and this is a nice book to provide support. While the author focuses mainly on her own limb difference and the fact that her two sons inherited the same difference from her, these insights and lessons can be applied to much more.
July 22, 2023
Zucker applies wisdom, humor, and first-hand experience to explore the complex topic of navigating the world when you have and/or parent someone who has a disability. It offers valuable and relatable insights on how to manage the well-meaning but often misguided reactions of others while adapting your mindset so that you can empathize with their perspectives. It brings together a broad range of stories and situations and draws applicable lessons and viewpoints from them. I can see why this book has been recommended by pediatricians and other experts. A must read!
February 5, 2025
4.5 stars. I listened to this on audio and absolutely loved Meg’s performance! Some of my favorite themes Meg drives home to the reader is that we cannot control others’ responses, but we can only control how we respond to others. I really enjoyed the activities Meg did with her children on confidence, specifically the ladder analogy. The anecdotes from other parents and families at the end was an excellent touch and provides more perspectives especially since a wide variety of diagnoses were included.
March 14, 2023
Written for other parents and kids, Meg’s also written a book for all of us who want to relate better to other people whether we’re on the playground or the board room. She shares her personal journey with wisdom and a wink and gives you a practical and heartfelt how-to on being a more empathetic person and a better friend to anyone with a difference, a disability or the loved ones around them. Which is, of course, all of us.
March 18, 2023
How challenging and yet how beautiful parenting can be! Meg seamlessly weaves together stories of her own experiences as a child and as a parent with those of others she’s met on this important journey. We can all learn from Meg’s compassion and openness and, importantly, self-love and acceptance. Each child is extraordinary. A great read!
July 10, 2023
Pretty much a common sense approach to raising kids with exceptionalities. A few things that inspired me-the author herself had a disability. She was also raising kids with the same disability. I was turned off when she made fun of a Christian who believed in healing though. I didn’t have the heart to finish.
August 4, 2023
SO good. As a father of children who wouldn't typically be considered "different"—this book still absolutely resonated with me. It contains thousands of tips and insights for any parent looking to raise their child to be as respectful and open-minded toward others as they possibly can be.
November 19, 2023
Loved reading this book - every chapter and every page had an interesting and insightful story to tell. It not only made me reflect inward but also changed the way I see the world and others. I would 200% recommend this book to anyone and everyone.
May 15, 2025
I enjoyed this perspective. There were a lot of things I learned and will think about while raising my daughter who has complex medical needs. I loved the parts about siblings too. This book is definitely applicable to everyone though.
May 3, 2023
SO GOOD!!!!
June 26, 2023
Meg’s powerful words are very insightful…everyone can learn something by reading this book!
July 2, 2023
A must read for everyone. As a special educator, this was truly inspirational!!!
July 28, 2023
Very basic good-parenting tips.
August 15, 2024
10/10 for every parent, everyone who talks to children, and everyone who is "different".
September 25, 2024
Empowering children with differences and disabilities
April 2, 2025
Although it's written from a parent's perspective, I appreciate the models for how to raise a child with a visible disability and talk to them about how to talk to the rest of the world. This book provides a model, using illustrative personal narratives, how to empower individuals so that they are not held back by the world's misperception and misconception of disability.
I made my review later so I forgot why I gave this book 3 stars...
I made my review later so I forgot why I gave this book 3 stars...
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews