A twelfth-century teacher of Ch’an—the Chinese precursor of Zen—named Yuan-Wu said: “It is like coming across a light in thick darkness; it is like receiving treasure in poverty…. You gain an illuminating insight into the very nature of things…. Here is shown bare the most beautiful landscape of your birthplace.”
Five years before my journey to Kanegasaki, Japan, when I visited Pennsylvania, I knew only vaguely the definition of kōan, the Zen conundrum, the Zen challenge to a reasoning mind. Yet I see now that my efforts to reclaim an American homeland that defies reclamation, my struggle to understand it, functioned as my elusive and maddening kōan. The question: Where do you find the true place you are born?
As an American practicing within an Asian religion, both here and in the States, I try to stay vigilant concerning issues related to cultural appropriation—especially the purloining of spiritual traditions from foreign nations…Such issues have validity. So do issues relating to spiritual dilettantism, the shallow, selfish dabbling in religious beliefs and practices of other people.
I am acutely aware of the wisdom traditions that are appropriated and reflected through the lens of white American males; reading the amazing Home Is Here: Practicing Antiracism with the Engaged Eightfold Path by Liên Shutt has been transformative in so many ways; even as a Vietnamese American practicing Buddhism she has been drenched in racism of teachers who are predominantly white, American and male. I want to be very cautious in how I approach reading and understanding this kind of book, which is wise to approach it from the lens of his early life in the Appalachian poverty of the South and how he found his home in religion.
I find such sources of inspiration and wisdom in religions and traditions, but know now that is appropriation unless I work hard to respect and credit all the teachers and lineages. It is a fine line, but I am traversing it with as much humility and respect as possible. And I think of the Dalai Lama and Thich Nhat Hanh, who travelled the world and wrote book after book and shared their wisdom without trying to convert. It all makes us better humans, and care more deeply for each other and the earth.
This book was interesting with some deep insights that resonate with me as someone who sought something else besides the place I was born and the family I was born in. The author is attuned to the natural world and thinks and writes some beautiful images but those are much shorter than the dreary depictions of Appalachia, showing the lens is cloudy there in memory. Overall worth a read.
“When we practice looking deeply, we realize that our home is everywhere,” wrote Thich Nhat Hanh. “We have to be able to see that the trees are our home and the blue sky is our home. It looks like a difficult practice, but it’s really easy. You only need to stop being a wanderer in order to be at home. ‘Listen, listen. This wonderful sound brings me back to my true home.’ The voice of the Buddha, the sound of the bell, the sunshine, everything is calling us back to our true home. Once you are back in your true home, you’ll feel the peace and the joy you deserve.”
Zen Buddhists extol a life of alert composure, of transparent presence in the here-and-now. This life they call “the true home.” It exists for each of us if we will only awaken to it.
The distance traversed. Beyond the scope of statute or nautical miles, the map’s imposed meridians…. Distance traveled from forebears who strove in daunted hills, in pine hollows…. My passport fails to divulge my place of origin, terrain of recollection…. “The purpose of angya, or pilgrimage, is to convince the monk of the fact that his whole life is a search, in exile, for his true home….
I’m driving across an ocean floor. Four hundred million years ago, during the Devonian Period of the Paleozoic, when crude mosses and ferns debuted on land, and the earliest amphibians, the region now known as Clinton County lay submerged beneath a balmy tropical sea. As a kid playing in our backyard I often discovered fossils from the Devonian: scallop shells intaglioed in rocks, marine trilobites in bas-relief. Thus as I drive across this primordial seabed my car is a combination of time machine and bathysphere. Air through my window sounds like a breaking surf, tidal ebb and flow of centuries.
A heron swoops the water. A princely, primitive bird, each of its enormous slate-blue wings unfolds effortlessly as a chaise longue. The heron foot-drags the stream. Then it sails aloft and, turning, reveals the silhouette of a pteranodon. I like to divine the lasting essence of this place. I like to feel intimations of something akin to those tutelary spirits—near at hand, beyond spectrum of the visible—to whom Celts built menhirs and dolmens; spirits the pagan Romans called genii loci. Thracian shepherds would have known Duck Run inhabited by potamids, nymphs of rivers and streams. Shinto worshippers in Japan paid homage to divine spirits of leaves, to sacred life coursing through roots and bodies of trees, the kami spirits of wind and water. I like to feel what they felt. I like to hear what they heard: the land improvising always—in zephyr, in freshet—its oracular speech, its earth-jazz, its wild glossolalia.
I’m dwelling alone in the Connecticut River Valley of western Massachusetts in a tranquil garden paradise amid brooks and woodlands. I live in a single room, a studio apartment with a kitchenette. I’ve come here to heal. I continue to emulate the ancient Chinese literati and wild Ch’an monks who wandered the hills while inscribing poetry, studying, teaching a few students, observing nature, and meditating, living simply while forsaking “the world of wind and dust.” I’m here to get well. In doing so, I distill my Zen practice, as always, to six words: Be clear. Be kind. Be present.
By miracle I seem to have survived into this life of contentments, stripping away, giving up, letting go, while gaining immeasurably at every step. I’ve found a life spare in its delineations, yet rich in amplitude.