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Against the Wall: My Journey from Border Patrol Agent to Immigrant Rights Activist
Jenn Budd, the only former U.S. Border Patrol agent to continually blow the whistle on this federal agency’s rampant corruption, challenges us—as individuals and as a nation—to face the consequences of our actions. Her journey offers a vital perspective on the unfolding moral crisis of our time. She also gives harrowing testimony about rape culture, white privilege, women in law enforcement, LGBTQ issues, mental illness, survival and forgiveness.
Jenn Budd “I wrote Against the Wall to try to heal myself from a traumatic childhood, a sexual assault I survived while in the Border Patrol academy and a serious suicide attempt in 2015. Much like our border wall, my personal walls did not keep me safe. My trauma and the trauma I caused others only began to heal when I began tearing down my personal walls and facing my own prejudices and racism. Solving racial divisions begins with each of us. I hope my memoir will prompt more citizens to face our prejudices, dismantle institutionalized racism and be willing to listen to those we’ve harmed.”
“I don’t know anybody else out there who’s telling us the stuff Jenn Budd is telling us right now. She’s a warrior.”
—Kathy Griffin
“As Americans, we invest so much power and responsibility in our law enforcement officers. When that power is abused, it’s our responsibility to stand up and speak out about it—and Jenn Budd does that so courageously in this compelling book. Please read it. Please internalize it. And please join Jenn in her incredible activism to make sure the abuses of power stop now and never happen again.”
—Alyssa Milano, activist-actress-author of Sorry Not Sorry
“An unflinching look at a Border Patrol riddled with corruption, racism, and misogyny. Raw and truthful, no one escapes judgement, not even Budd, who searches deep within herself to examine her own prejudices as a white southerner, and the role she played as a Border Patrol agent.”
—Melissa del Bosque, author of Blood Lines, Lannan Reporting Fellow at Type Investigations, and co-author of The Border Chronicle newsletter and podcast
“With painstaking honesty and the sharp eye of a natural storyteller, Jenn Budd chronicles her journey from oppressor to activist.”
—Barbara Feinman Todd, author of Pretend I´m Not Here and founding journalism director at Georgetown University
“This book is a must-read for anyone who is interested in a first-hand account of how immigration enforcement plays out at the U.S.-Mexico border.”
—Vicki B. Gaubeca, a long-time human rights advocate and current director of the Southern Border Communities Coalition
“A shocking look at the ugly underbelly of the U.S. Border Patrol. Brave and unflinching, Jenn Budd is one of the most important voices about immigration enforcement in the United States.”
—Reece Jones, a 2021 Guggenheim Fellow and the author of White The History of Race and Immigration in the United States from Chinese Exclusion to the Border Wall
“This courageous and compelling book by a Border Patrol agent-turned immigration-activist is essential reading to understand how today’s heartless and abusive Border Patrol culture came into being and what needs to be done to transform immigration policy in America.”
— Ruth Ben-Ghiat, author of Mussolini to the Present
Jenn Budd “I wrote Against the Wall to try to heal myself from a traumatic childhood, a sexual assault I survived while in the Border Patrol academy and a serious suicide attempt in 2015. Much like our border wall, my personal walls did not keep me safe. My trauma and the trauma I caused others only began to heal when I began tearing down my personal walls and facing my own prejudices and racism. Solving racial divisions begins with each of us. I hope my memoir will prompt more citizens to face our prejudices, dismantle institutionalized racism and be willing to listen to those we’ve harmed.”
“I don’t know anybody else out there who’s telling us the stuff Jenn Budd is telling us right now. She’s a warrior.”
—Kathy Griffin
“As Americans, we invest so much power and responsibility in our law enforcement officers. When that power is abused, it’s our responsibility to stand up and speak out about it—and Jenn Budd does that so courageously in this compelling book. Please read it. Please internalize it. And please join Jenn in her incredible activism to make sure the abuses of power stop now and never happen again.”
—Alyssa Milano, activist-actress-author of Sorry Not Sorry
“An unflinching look at a Border Patrol riddled with corruption, racism, and misogyny. Raw and truthful, no one escapes judgement, not even Budd, who searches deep within herself to examine her own prejudices as a white southerner, and the role she played as a Border Patrol agent.”
—Melissa del Bosque, author of Blood Lines, Lannan Reporting Fellow at Type Investigations, and co-author of The Border Chronicle newsletter and podcast
“With painstaking honesty and the sharp eye of a natural storyteller, Jenn Budd chronicles her journey from oppressor to activist.”
—Barbara Feinman Todd, author of Pretend I´m Not Here and founding journalism director at Georgetown University
“This book is a must-read for anyone who is interested in a first-hand account of how immigration enforcement plays out at the U.S.-Mexico border.”
—Vicki B. Gaubeca, a long-time human rights advocate and current director of the Southern Border Communities Coalition
“A shocking look at the ugly underbelly of the U.S. Border Patrol. Brave and unflinching, Jenn Budd is one of the most important voices about immigration enforcement in the United States.”
—Reece Jones, a 2021 Guggenheim Fellow and the author of White The History of Race and Immigration in the United States from Chinese Exclusion to the Border Wall
“This courageous and compelling book by a Border Patrol agent-turned immigration-activist is essential reading to understand how today’s heartless and abusive Border Patrol culture came into being and what needs to be done to transform immigration policy in America.”
— Ruth Ben-Ghiat, author of Mussolini to the Present
469 pages, Kindle Edition
Published June 19, 2022
28 people are currently reading
281 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
September 5, 2022
A gutsy, gritty read about one woman’s transformation from Border Patrol to immigration rights activist. Jenn Budd is my shero—overcoming childhood abuse, the rape culture and machismo of the Border Patrol, and resulting depression and soul-searching. I appreciate her courage and raw honesty; I’m sure this was a difficult book to write. If you have any doubts about our nation’s heartless, failed policies at the border you won’t after reading her story. Budd is a brave voice for reform and represents the conscience of a nation that has forgotten we are all immigrants.
October 14, 2025
Imperative read now more than ever. Definitely check triggers for this book though.
April 22, 2026
This is one of the most brutal, graphic nonfictions I have ever read. And the fact that this is true of what is largely just an inside perspective on an agency with the motto "honor first" should tell you something about how things have gone so horrifically, violently wrong with that agency.
It's impossible to read this book and have a soul without becoming thoroughly incensed, disgusted, and appalled. Indeed I already had a pretty strong feeling that things in the border patrol were bad, but wow, I had no clue things were THAT horrific.
Jenn Budd really holds nothing back in telling the story. But she also understands all at the deepest of levels, how the corrupt system defends, supports, and feeds itself, how the festering corruption of the border patrol is allowed to propagate indefinitely. (OK that's probably enough political imagery from me) That's ultimately what makes this such a terrific read, though. It isn't just "things sure suck"; it's a thorough investigation into WHY they suck and how deep it all goes. She does offer a sound and reasonable perspective on how to change things. It's just a matter of whether our political leaders will ever have the courage to implement them.
Jenn Budd herself also had one hell of a rough life, independent of everything connected to the border patrol. The fact that she emerged from all of this as such a staunch humanitarian, rather than a broken and embittered person, is a real testament to her true character, and I admire her immensely for that.
This can be a tough read if you choose to read it, but it is absolutely worth it, and her message is critically important, especially in today's world. Read it.
It's impossible to read this book and have a soul without becoming thoroughly incensed, disgusted, and appalled. Indeed I already had a pretty strong feeling that things in the border patrol were bad, but wow, I had no clue things were THAT horrific.
Jenn Budd really holds nothing back in telling the story. But she also understands all at the deepest of levels, how the corrupt system defends, supports, and feeds itself, how the festering corruption of the border patrol is allowed to propagate indefinitely. (OK that's probably enough political imagery from me) That's ultimately what makes this such a terrific read, though. It isn't just "things sure suck"; it's a thorough investigation into WHY they suck and how deep it all goes. She does offer a sound and reasonable perspective on how to change things. It's just a matter of whether our political leaders will ever have the courage to implement them.
Jenn Budd herself also had one hell of a rough life, independent of everything connected to the border patrol. The fact that she emerged from all of this as such a staunch humanitarian, rather than a broken and embittered person, is a real testament to her true character, and I admire her immensely for that.
This can be a tough read if you choose to read it, but it is absolutely worth it, and her message is critically important, especially in today's world. Read it.
January 22, 2026
I'm glad this book exists. I think it's an important testimony documenting the historical seeds of an institution that contextualizes what the country is witnessing with ICE/CBP in 2025-2026. We can only hope that this will someday be used as evidence to bring justice and accountability to this system that has been deadly and rotten since long before it was glaringly brought to the attention of the broader American public. I think it's brave and vulnerable and I think Budd shows an appropriate amount of accountability for her complicity and direct involvement with agency brutality to have earned a place in the immigration justice conversation, though that's not my decision to make.
That being said, it's long, and Budd combines elements of political persuasion with personal memoir in a way that I appreciate is probably cathartic to her and does anecdotally answer question of what compels people to pursue immigration enforcement as a career and to behave brutally in that position of power, but it needed a summarized version that meets the urgency of the current situation.
So...! in summary (in Jenn's personal experience during the six years she was a border agent from 1995-2001):
The border patrol has systemically upholds a deeply engrained rape culture that puts female agents and female migrants (and some men) in a position of double victimization, first as a victim of rape or harassment, then as a victim of relentless retaliation and coverup for reporting their crimes. Budd was raped by a fellow trainee early in her career and was forced to work alongside him and subjected to ridicule and professional setbacks after attempting to report it.
The border patrol is systemically and unapologetically racist from the language they use to talk about migrants to the decisions they make about how they enforce the laws.
The border patrol is explicitly trained to ignore civil rights laws, engage in false reporting, and to outright blame migrants for any injury, property damage, or death caused by the actions of the border patrol.
While some illegal crossing intercepted by the border patrol along the US/Mexico border involve drugs, human trafficking, and violent criminals, most are seasonal laborers and families. Many die of exposure in the brutal mountain deserts and extreme temperatures.
The wall built by President Clinton in the 1990's did not decrease the numbers of illegal border crossings along the southern border but did increase the migrant fatalities due to forcing crossings to occur in more dangerous terrain rather than developed port of entries. Most immigration policies since at least the 1990's have been purely political theater. Agents are encouraged by department heads in DC to falsify records to support a particular political narrative, and they do.
The trauma of the inhumane actions taken by the border patrol cause many agents to choose suicide, including an attempt by Budd herself in 2015.
There is rampant corruption, bribery, and negligence in the border patrol that actively make the border less secure. Agents who do intercept dangerous criminal activity (drugs, trafficking, etc.) are encouraged not to report it to avoid paperwork and scrutiny. Many agents steal drugs obtained as evidence during arrests for personal use, or to sell themselves. Many high ranking agents work in collaboration with foreign criminal organizations and gangs to ease the passage of contraband across the border.
Budd's conclusion after her experience with the agency in the late 1990's as well as her perspective as an outsider and immigrant activist through the Trump and Biden years (pre-Trump 2.0, notably) is that ICE and CBP must be abolished.
It's hard to disagree with that conclusion, but in the year 2026, I don't think you need to read this book to reach that conclusion.
That being said, it's long, and Budd combines elements of political persuasion with personal memoir in a way that I appreciate is probably cathartic to her and does anecdotally answer question of what compels people to pursue immigration enforcement as a career and to behave brutally in that position of power, but it needed a summarized version that meets the urgency of the current situation.
So...! in summary (in Jenn's personal experience during the six years she was a border agent from 1995-2001):
The border patrol has systemically upholds a deeply engrained rape culture that puts female agents and female migrants (and some men) in a position of double victimization, first as a victim of rape or harassment, then as a victim of relentless retaliation and coverup for reporting their crimes. Budd was raped by a fellow trainee early in her career and was forced to work alongside him and subjected to ridicule and professional setbacks after attempting to report it.
The border patrol is systemically and unapologetically racist from the language they use to talk about migrants to the decisions they make about how they enforce the laws.
The border patrol is explicitly trained to ignore civil rights laws, engage in false reporting, and to outright blame migrants for any injury, property damage, or death caused by the actions of the border patrol.
While some illegal crossing intercepted by the border patrol along the US/Mexico border involve drugs, human trafficking, and violent criminals, most are seasonal laborers and families. Many die of exposure in the brutal mountain deserts and extreme temperatures.
The wall built by President Clinton in the 1990's did not decrease the numbers of illegal border crossings along the southern border but did increase the migrant fatalities due to forcing crossings to occur in more dangerous terrain rather than developed port of entries. Most immigration policies since at least the 1990's have been purely political theater. Agents are encouraged by department heads in DC to falsify records to support a particular political narrative, and they do.
The trauma of the inhumane actions taken by the border patrol cause many agents to choose suicide, including an attempt by Budd herself in 2015.
There is rampant corruption, bribery, and negligence in the border patrol that actively make the border less secure. Agents who do intercept dangerous criminal activity (drugs, trafficking, etc.) are encouraged not to report it to avoid paperwork and scrutiny. Many agents steal drugs obtained as evidence during arrests for personal use, or to sell themselves. Many high ranking agents work in collaboration with foreign criminal organizations and gangs to ease the passage of contraband across the border.
Budd's conclusion after her experience with the agency in the late 1990's as well as her perspective as an outsider and immigrant activist through the Trump and Biden years (pre-Trump 2.0, notably) is that ICE and CBP must be abolished.
It's hard to disagree with that conclusion, but in the year 2026, I don't think you need to read this book to reach that conclusion.
April 17, 2023
Jen Budd has experienced an astounding amount of trauma. Her story will fill you with sadness, disgust, disappointment, and rage, but will also give you hope and inspiration for your own ability (as well as others’ ability) to change and make a difference. In her memoir you will dive into her Alabama childhood and her experiences with the U.S. Border Patrol in great depth. You will follow her compass of morality in every direction as she shares insights, details of corruption and abuse, as well as her personal experiences as a woman trainee and officer in a vastly sexist, racist, and xenophobic organization. You will jump from scale to scale with her on issues of freedom, rights, Justice and humanity. The details are graphic and dark because they have to be to tell this story. Her writing and narratives are extremely well put together based on her personal journaling and journey. This is well written and the audiobook feels like you are sitting in the room with her. My only critiques are that some of the border patrol issues started to seem repetitive, and I wish she’d spent more page space on her activism. Maybe that will follow in another book. Recommend if you can handle reading/hearing about significant traumas and abuse. I thought she shared and explained her realizations and observances of immigrants as a Border Agent very clearly, and how her empathies or lack thereof changed back and forth with her duties and experiences.
February 24, 2023
Jenn Budd’s book Against the Wall is an exposé of the U.S. Border Patrol in their work in securing our southern border. Jenn’s career as a Border Patrol agent was traumatic for the abuse she encountered as a woman in an agency run and operated by many males who had little respect for women’s and human rights. She entered an agency rampant with sexual abuse toward women and the tragic aspect of this abuse is that the agency managed to coverup all abuse and such agents were never held accountable. This abuse of human rights included abuse of migrants. This inhumanity to man led Jenn to leave the Border Patrol as a very traumatized person. She later became an activist in promoting rights of migrants and trying to remedy the rape culture with the Border Patrol agency. Her book presents a very different view of migrants attempting to enter the U.S. The majority of such individuals are merely fleeing persecution by gangs in their home country and only looking to a life of safety to raise their families. Jenn's story about the Border Patrol was recently validated by an oversight committee (Project on Government Oversight) who found the agency had problems with a rape culture and domestic violence. We are fortunate that people like Jenn Budd have spoken out.
February 12, 2025
This is a gripping story of a former border patrol agents life and experiences in a cruel world full of abuse, assault, and humanitarian crisis. Jenn Budd writes a harrowing tale of how our government treats vulnerable migrants. From professional conundrums to personal struggles, anyone with any sense cannot help but to admire her strength, and the compassion she has developed. If I didn't have to put the book down to go to work, I would have finished it in one sitting. It's very difficult to tear myself away from it. Critics will surely vilify this book as "woke propaganda." Allies will view this as essential reading for evaluating the society we live in, as it forces you to become aware of things to which we, in our collective comfort, haven't bothered to see. I thank Jenn Budd for pulling back the veil and revealing uncomfortable truths and exposing a criminally renegade agency of law enforcement.
March 6, 2026
Eye-opening
As ICE invades cities and towns across the United States, this book should be required reading. Jenn Budd spent six years as a Border Patrol agent before seeing the light and becoming an immigrant rights activist. Here, she blows the whistle on the rampant misogyny, racism, xenophobia, violence and homophobia that is inculcated in agents from their first days in training and cemented in the field. After reading Jenn's first-hand account, I had a much better grasp of exactly how these lawless thugs operate at the border, helping me to understand their audacious and murderous rampages through cities like Minneapolis. It's a tough but fast read, highly recommended.
As ICE invades cities and towns across the United States, this book should be required reading. Jenn Budd spent six years as a Border Patrol agent before seeing the light and becoming an immigrant rights activist. Here, she blows the whistle on the rampant misogyny, racism, xenophobia, violence and homophobia that is inculcated in agents from their first days in training and cemented in the field. After reading Jenn's first-hand account, I had a much better grasp of exactly how these lawless thugs operate at the border, helping me to understand their audacious and murderous rampages through cities like Minneapolis. It's a tough but fast read, highly recommended.
March 12, 2026
“Are we truly a nation that values immigrants?”
Against the Border is a must read. As ICE and Border Patrol grows as an agency and increases its visibility, Jenn Budd gives us a glimpse into a deeply troubled a racist government agency. Through her story, it is made clear that government sanctioned violence is normed, and supported behind closed doors.
While sexual violence in armed forces has previously been highlighted, Budd’s story dives deep into how pervasive and integral it is to Border Patrol Culture. The dehumanization and sexism is organizational wide. If you’ve been seeking further information about Border Patrol and its impact both on people and agents, this book is for you.
Against the Border is a must read. As ICE and Border Patrol grows as an agency and increases its visibility, Jenn Budd gives us a glimpse into a deeply troubled a racist government agency. Through her story, it is made clear that government sanctioned violence is normed, and supported behind closed doors.
While sexual violence in armed forces has previously been highlighted, Budd’s story dives deep into how pervasive and integral it is to Border Patrol Culture. The dehumanization and sexism is organizational wide. If you’ve been seeking further information about Border Patrol and its impact both on people and agents, this book is for you.
January 24, 2026
This a painful story of the horrible manner in which immigration has been handled in our country, and a former agent who was lucky to survive and brave enough to tell her story.
As with other books that warn about the overreach of the federal government, and the inability of both Democrats and Republicans to reform immigration, we are now having federal thugs terrorizing our communities. As predicted.
Defund and discontinue DHS and ICE. Build back better before our country is gone. Budd's story should be proof enough that these agencies have been corrupted beyond repair.
As with other books that warn about the overreach of the federal government, and the inability of both Democrats and Republicans to reform immigration, we are now having federal thugs terrorizing our communities. As predicted.
Defund and discontinue DHS and ICE. Build back better before our country is gone. Budd's story should be proof enough that these agencies have been corrupted beyond repair.
August 19, 2024
May be the most powerful book I’ve read this year. So raw and searing, it was impossible to digest quickly. I’ll be processing it for months.
Anyone who wants to learn about the southern US border in an open honest way…should read this book. Many parts of the book are heartbreaking, nauseating, and cringy. But it’s worth getting through.
Humanity. This book reminds me the importance of shared humanity and why it must be a core value.
Anyone who wants to learn about the southern US border in an open honest way…should read this book. Many parts of the book are heartbreaking, nauseating, and cringy. But it’s worth getting through.
Humanity. This book reminds me the importance of shared humanity and why it must be a core value.
September 12, 2022
Jenn Budd manages to discuss the complexity and hypocrisy of our immigration laws, corruption of the Border Patrol, and her own personal traumas with grit, emotion, and empathy. She doesn't pull any punches, and she weaves tales of humanity, adventure, disappointment, and resilience with grace.
March 26, 2023
An incredible book that is wrenching to read. I had to put it down several times because it was so horrendous to read about the Border Patrol’s culture of rape and denial. Time to follow her suggestions and abolish Border Patrol land start something new and humane.
September 23, 2025
I lost steam on it once she left the border patrol
November 25, 2025
Should be required reading for every American. I’m ashamed and angry and ready to help change the system.
Triggers: SA, child abuse, suicide, racism, etc.
Triggers: SA, child abuse, suicide, racism, etc.
January 19, 2026
Powerful
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews