Seven Aunts

by Staci Lola Drouillard

Part memoir, part cultural history, these memories of seven aunts holding home and family together tell a crucial, often overlooked story of women of the twentieth century    They were German and English, Anishinaabe and French, born in the north woods and Midwestern farm country. They moved again and again, and they fought for each other when men turned mean, when money ran out, when babies—and there were so many—added more trouble but even more love. These are the Faye, who lived in California, and Lila, who lived just down the street; Doreen, who took on the bullies taunting her “mixed-blood” brothers and sisters; Gloria, who raised six children (no thanks to all of her “stupid husbands”); Betty, who left a marriage of indenture to a misogynistic southerner to find love and acceptance with a Norwegian logger; and Carol and Diane, who broke the warped molds of their own upbringing. From the fabric of these women’s lives, Staci Lola Drouillard stitches a colorful quilt, its brightly patterned pieces as different as her aunties, yet alike in their warmth and spirit and resilience, their persistence in speaking for their generation. Seven Aunts is an inspired patchwork of memoir and reminiscence, poetry, testimony, love letters, and family lore.  In this multifaceted, unconventional portrait, Drouillard summons ways of life largely lost to history, even as the possibilities created by these women live on. Unfolding against a personal view of the settler invasion of the Midwest by men who farmed and logged, fished and hunted and mined, it reveals the true heart and soul of that the lives of the women who held together family, home, and community—women who defied expectations and overwhelming odds to make a place in the world for the next generation.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Indigenous, History, Biography, Biography Memoir

312 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 14, 2022

Reviews

[Linden · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book needed some judicious editing and organization. It reminded me of listening to an oral history filled with abuse, poverty, and alcohol; or a long PBS documentary; or even reading an extended obituary for each aunt. I guess I was hoping for a narrative more like All Over but the Shoutin’, Rick Bragg’s story of growing up poor in Alabama. (The stories could even have been part of a compelling fiction book, perhaps in the hands of a gifted writer who was also originally from Minnesota with native heritage like Louise Erdrich). I received an advance copy of this book from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

[Pooja Peravali · Rating 3 out of 5]

Author Drouillard tells the history of her family in recent generations through the lives of her seven aunts, four on her mother’s side and three on her father’s.

I’ve always been interested in family histories, because no two are the same – that, and that there are generally a lot of secrets to uncover and I am a nosy sort of person. The fact that Seven Aunts is so wholeheartedly focused on the lives of the women in the family, tracing their parallels and divergences, made it especially interesting to me.

The author clearly loves her aunts very much, and the care and sympathy with which she writes about them. I like how she charted all the ways their lives touched and entangled, and how they were all shaped in different ways by their parents and their place within the family. I also liked the conversational tone of the writing, as though the author was relating the stories to another family member.

However, I found that the writing sometimes rambled, and there was often too much between the lines that was not said outright. I also thought some of the aunts got overshadowed by the broader family stories that were related in their chapters, eating up the word count needed to get to know them, so that I felt some chapters were more focused on the aunt in question than others.

Overall an interesting read that relates the stories of ordinary women leading quietly powerful lives.

Disclaimer: I received an ARC of this book from NetGalley. This is my honest and voluntary review.

[Sue Hakes · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Seven Aunts" is a real-life story about the unconditional love of family, and in the shadows, a story about Staci Lola Drouillard finding unconditional love for herself. As Drouillard patiently shares the heroism and the struggles of her seven aunts--her mother's four sisters and her father's three--she puts a light on the past 100 years of European and Anishinaabe families growing up poor in northern Minnesota. This is an important history to understand.

Drouillard honors her family (and the reader) by being a truth-teller. She doesn't shy from the hard stuff and the result is the creation of a loving, safe, place of reference to begin healing conversations about the trauma and the "isms" that impacted her family then and now. This safe, healing space is also a gift to her northern Minnesota community.

I appreciate the deepened understanding of my community, and the increased capacity for the unconditional love of my own family sparked by reading "Seven Aunts". I thank Staci Lola Drouillard for that.

[Julie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Staci Lola Drouillard has written a loving memoir/family history of her seven aunts—four on her mother’s side and three on her father’s. These are all ordinary women living ordinary and often anonymous lives. They dealt with poverty, abandonment, alcoholism and addiction, prejudice as well as the ups and downs of everyday life. Drouillard paints a loving picture of each aunt, not shying away from the sad and hard parts of the story. I did find the book meandering at times, and a family tree for each side would have helped. Overall, I really enjoyed this book and recommend it.

[Lori Garner · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a member of this family and sharing some of the same aunts as Staci I want to thank my cousin for writing this book.
I learned somethings I didn't know and I was brought back to some memories of these amazing people. Seldom are the everyday lives of everyday women shown to reflect the strength that it takes to survive. This book shows that even ordinary women aren't ordinary.
I loved many of the women in this book. I shed many a tear hearing their stories.
I miss them and that was shown to me in the tears I shed. Thank you cousin for bringing me on a journey of remembering, revisiting and learning about the women that have come before me.

[G Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

When you know the author of a book personally, it is hard to separate your impression of the person from the impression of the book. Staci is personally entwined in every story, her life imposed over the lives of her aunts, as she knew them when she was young and as they made their impressions on her. But Staci also managed the delicate balance of memoirist/author, to show herself intimately in the story but also leave space for each aunt to own her own story, and also space for the reader to feel connection to the stories. Seven different aunts is seven different families, and with that variety the reader is likely to find connections. There are more similarities in 20th century working class midwestern women's lives than differences. Poverty, young love, sudden motherhood, fierce sisterhood, distant fathers, overworked mothers and big sisters, hilarious family road trips, hard work, alcoholism, racism and prejudice, these stories are at once so specific and intimate and also general and vast. She has articulated delicate nuances of life, and isn't that why we read?

Staci has done an impressive thing with this book, and I'm glad to have read it. Would recommend for readers who like memoirs, 20th century history and local history, stories about strong women, and stories about how one can "stop the record from skipping" as Staci puts it.

[Barb reads......it ALL! · Rating 4 out of 5]

#NonFictionNovember24 - Book 9

There are so many reasons I loved this book:
It's about family - women family
It's set predominantly in Grand Marais, MN, one of my absolute favorite places
It's written with love, fearless love
It's written with truth, some hard truths
It's one of those books that reads like a worn quilt, so so soft from wear, faded colors that invoke summers outside laying on it, winters curled up under it.
I savored this book.

[klaudia katarzyna]

I rarely DNF books but with "Seven Aunts" I had no other choice. I've read only around 60 pages but I wasn't able to connect with the story, it bore me and I really wanted to read it but I tried to force myself for 3 days to continue it and I wasn't interested at all. The one chapter I've fully read was not so bad but I feel like this just wasn't for me.

Nevertheless, I want to thank Netgalley and University of Minnesota Press for the ARC in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

[Dehlia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I went to see a reading at Zenith and then snatched up a copy. I started (and finished) this treasure in the Boundary Waters. I could not put it down!

First of all, Staci Lola is an amazing human with a kind and beautiful heart. Secondly, the premise of the book: that ordinary women are incredible and deserve to have their stories told for others to share is a virtuous and important guiding principle. And finally, the tales of Staci’s seven aunts are just remarkable - knowing how fiercely they loved, their courage, the power they gave one another and their community…sharing these lives with he world was brave and incredibly important. Staci’s made up words of chronic femininity, fat thrower, sistermothering and the (dreaded!) morbidity of motherhood were icing on this great read. So much to love about this book - read it as soon as you can.

I found myself daydream-writing letters to all of the important “aunties” in my life and in my daughters’ lives. They are abundant and soak our lives in goodness they don’t even realize. I dug out an auntie’s cinnamon roll recipe and baked up a batch, thinking of Staci’s sweetly crafted stories.

[Vaughn Asselstine · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just motored through ‘Seven Aunts’ by Staci Lola Drouillard. Hope you do too. It’s stories about the women in her family - hidden lives lived in plain sight, heroes all. We all know women like these.

Mostly set in Grand Marais, Minnesota, it’s a past invisible to tourists passing through today. On one side German and English, on the other Anishinaabe and French. These women faced poverty, endless pregnancies, mental health struggles/addictions and abuse, but together they knit a strong family web filled with humor, resilience and most of all, love. You’ll wish you were sitting at their kitchen table with a sweet roll and cup of black coffee.

[Bill · Rating 3 out of 5]

I appreciate that these stories were told. So often the stories and traumas of everyday women get lost or never told. While I enjoyed reading about the lives of these women, this felt more like a simple family history. This book seemed like something that would be handed out at a family reunion or funeral. I think this book could have been heavily edited down, as it was often repetitive and all over the place.

[Anne Jennen · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting to read about local history and Native Americans in Northern Minnesota. Too many people involved not to include a map/listing in the front of the book. In my opinion each Aunts story should have a theme at the beginning (I.e. cooks for comfort, addiction, scars make her beautiful or event the made up words in each story could be used). Needs a much better editor!!!

[Barbara · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I enjoyed many of the stories of the author’s aunties, the book was hard to follow at points. Family trees would really have helped in understanding who was who. Sometimes the author would be writing about one aunt and then jump back a generation or two to provide background. While helpful at times, it was easy to get lost in the narration.

[Gretchen · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book reminded me of the importance of oral storytelling in the family.

[Emi Yoshida · Rating 2 out of 5]

Staci Drouillard writes about her family's history with love and admiration, I appreciate her feminist view of honoring courageous women who matter a lot, and I learned a little bit about Ojibwemowin, Chippewa, Anishinaabe, although honestly I found her use of the three terms quite confusing. I don't think the title Seven Aunts is entirely accurate, although she does focus on them, perhaps a more fitting title would be About Fifty Relatives.

Drouillard comes up with a lot of her own interesting phrases like "morbidity of motherhood," "chronic femininity," "emacifeeding," "mothersistering," "sistermotherhood," "motherality," "widrown" some of which were comprehensive and enlightening. At times I felt like this was a couple different books smooshed together - a family storytelling and then social commentary mixed with anthropoly and psychology. I'm in full agreement that there should be more power and less shame in dealing with young girls, that they should be raised to feel capable, the same way that boys are; and clearly this family dealt a lot with a lot of young girls. But by specifying that "our aunties are expected to be surrogate parents for their brothers' and sisters' children"... and yet "Dad was always trying to take care of people, and make things right, which was his role in the extended family" I wonder if Drouillard is saying it's POC in general who are burdened in this way. I might not have liked all the references to bedwetting, but I totally respect Drouillard's straight-forward, full-on honesty in baring her family's collective soul.

[Lin Salisbury · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the prologue to Staci Drouillard’s SEVEN AUNTS, she writes that her book is about the hidden lives of women: “Those who rarely speak out of turn and those who shout their truths to the sky, even though no one is paying attention.” But in truth, she says, “ … our grandmothers, mothers, and aunties have all committed great acts of heroism, devotion, and self-sacrifice so that the people they love might have a chance at being seen one day.” The aunties are a diverse group: German and English, Anishinaabe and French, born in the woods and born in farm country – but there is one thing they all have in common: a strength and resilience that was hard fought, paving the way for the next generation to make a different choice.

Drouillard gifts each of the aunts — Faye, Lila, Doreen, Gloria, Betty, Carol, and Diane – her very own chapter. Four the aunts are from her mother’s side and three are on her dad’s. Each of these remarkable women bore tragedy and hardship. They loved their families fiercely. They were a product of their time in some ways – taught to be invisible and to find self-worth through their families. Drouillard names this affliction the morbidity of motherhood, the symptoms including an insatiable desire to have children, and the belief that a woman’s value was directly proportional to the number of children she had.

Besides the stories of the aunts’ heroism and resilience, I loved Drouillard’s reference to her imaginary dictionary, in which she names various afflictions and defines them. For instance, chronic feminity is defined as a mental disorder exacerbated by 1970’s sitcoms and Olivia Newton John singalongs. It is a noun defined as a “persistent and long-standing expectation that women look, dress, and speak consistently with society’s feminine ideal, secondarily defined as an assumption that a woman’s “primary role is to be pleasing to the masculine eye.”

Drouillard is transparent as she shares her family stories, but she is resolute in her determination to speak the truth. She likens our collective history to a river in which by speaking the truth about the past, trauma is set forever downstream. Telling the truth, she writes, is essential to our collective and long-term well-being. We no longer need to be prisoners to our past. We can live, learn, and be better.

“…every family has to learn to live with scars, both physical and emotional … we can either choose to try to hide them or we can use them as marks of courage and healing and find a way to live with them.”

Drouillard’s last chapter is entitled Coda and outlines seven lessons derived from her aunts’ lives, including the importance of empowering girls to embrace their independence, and affirming their worth as human beings.

Reading SEVEN AUNTS, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for these women and the author’s commitment to truth telling. Drouillard writes with such integrity. I cared deeply about the aunties, and I didn’t want to leave them. Extraordinary women leading ordinary lives; they lived in a world that did not recognize their contributions, but the lessons of their lives changed the world for future generations.

This is Lin Salisbury with Superior Reviews. Listen to my interview with Staci Drouillard on August 25 at 7:00 pm on WTIP 90.7 Radio http://www.wtip.org.

[Chel · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recently finished Staci Drouillard's moving treatise honoring her seven aunts, Mother and generations of family members. I expect I will reflect on many things there for however many years I have to come.

I admired her tender, caring, loving and insight-full (yours and theirs) telling about each, focus on relationships—all that flows and moves to and from us through them across generations—and the truth of individual reality.

Seven Aunts' illumination of Drouillard's themes concerning mothering, how women are and are not valued in society and the generational repercussions, is all the more poignant in the context of the laws and recent court decisions seeking to dominate our bodies.

[Mary Beams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading Seven Aunts has changed me. I am always keen to study the language used in memoirs; is it bitter? Glamorous? Overwhelming? is it loving? This book presents personal history within a context of culture and social history. It reports with clarity while viewing with love. The result is a family story without judgement or victimization. It has caused me to look at those around me with more appreciation for life experiences and the strength it takes to grow through them. Seven Aunts is an example of generosity and love which is a model to use in regarding one's own life and family.
Though each aunt's story is different, they form a circle around the author as she tells the family circumstances. The result for me, as a reader, is to strengthen my own desire to be as generous and loving. I absolutely loved these women, this entire family. While each person's response to setbacks and challenges was flawed sometimes, it was also magnificent. I finished the book wishing I knew them even better, and could spend more time in their daily lives, sharing children and houses and covering for each other as well as they did.
The author, Staci Lola Drouillard, is a fine representative of the strength and love a family can produce.
Don't miss reading Seven Aunts.

[Darcy · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book however, the editing/writing is terrible. Rambling, repetitive and lots of "throw-away" points that have no bearing on the book. If another chapter started with the aunt and quickly reverted back to tales of Grandpa Fred I was going to scream. What is the real story and where are you going?

[Donna Wojtysiak Lunke · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved it!

[Brenda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quite an Anishinaabe family history of these aunts of Drouillard...growing up in northeast MN/Grand Portage/Grand Marais.

And, a unique element to the book with imaginary dictionary entries and a poem for each aunt's chapter. One example:

her imaginary dictionary entry for Faye's chapter:

mor-bid-i-ty of moth-er-hood, Noun: 1. condition of being sickened physically by the need to be a mother. 2. mental affliction affecting women whose only desire is to bear children; ie., if you are not a mother, your life has no meaning. Use: "Young Faye suffered the anguish caused by the morbidity of motherhood, which posits that only women with children have value.' Also: "Therapy can substantially reduce motherhood morbidity in women who have to many children, or conversely, not enough children."

p. 7: "In other words, a woman can't win if she is cursed with the morbidity of motherhood."

I enjoyed reading about earlier days and places in Grand Marais...want to look for that yellow "house" that is now the store for the folk school! (p. 249, Diane's house)

p. 206: "Among all of these musings about what it means to be a mother, and in an attempt to acknowledge the struggles of our own mothers and grandmothers, I've come to believe the old Burge adage that babies are indeed magic on earth, and that they can help ease some of the painful things that have happened to us in the past. Because what's more hopeful than a brand-new start?"

p. 223: in elaborating on the imaginary dictionary entry "fat-thrower": and talking about how often when women are together they discuss their bodies and weight:
"The amount of time that smart women spend on fat-phobic, body-shaming rhetoric while socializing, eating lunch together, passing around cake an an office birthday party, or pretty much anywhere that women gather, is time on this earth that none of us will ever be back."

[Bria Noelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve been reading this book for the latter half of the summer. I finished the chapter on Lila, the auntie who supported the author’s identity when she came out, the night before my Aunt Sue passed away. She, like Lila, was also the auntie who supported me in all of my “coming out” seasons as a young human. I started this book as a tribute to her, and it’s what I needed in this very specific season of my life. It will forever be valuable to me in that way.
It also feels important to add that the shared history of her Ojibwe and Anishaabawe heritage is invaluable. Especially as someone who now lives in Minnesota and is interested in learning about indigenous cultures from indigenous people themselves!
In that same breath, I must also acknowledge that the writing at times felt confusing and a bit all over the place. The author seemed to speak in metaphors specific to her understanding, rather than to strengthen the understanding of the reader. I feel like I know Staci from reading her genuine and at times vulnerable history and recollection of her family. I just wish her book was organized and edited differently, to strengthen the reader’s understanding and grasp.

[Jess Koski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay... I admit to a bit of hesitancy as I started this book. These seven women didn't have what you'd call "heroic" or larger-than-life stories--in the classic sense of those words, and I joked, "why did she have to have so many aunties?" But it didn't take me long to realize that maybe that was the entire point of the book.
Here are seven "ordinary" women and their partners (for better or worse) who persevered through so many of those human dramas that we all can relate to. I grew to really care about each aunt, and wished that their chapter wouldn't end (though the poems, with which Drouillard punctuated each aunt's story, were a real treat.) I can honestly say that I laughed, and cried, at some point in each chapter. And that ability to move the reader without feeling heavy-handed seems to be one of Drouillard's strengths.
What a service she has done to her family, to us, the readers, and to "ordinary" women everywhere.

[Ann Sullivan · Rating 5 out of 5]

After learning so much from Staci Drouillard's first book, Walking the Old Road, I was anxious to attend her "Author Talk" at Drury Lane Books here in Grand Marais, Minnesota, promoting Seven Aunts, her new book. Upon finishing that book, with a chapter dedicated to each of her aunts, the importance of strong women in all our lives--past and present, was thrust to center stage.

The differing cultural impacts caused me to pause and reflect upon where I live, the history of this place, and how that all impacts the experiences and relationships I have today. Being introduced to her aunts also inspires me to think on a personal level about where I am today and the female relatives I have who have impacted me--all in a different fashion. Her work moved me to think in a new way--moved me from reading glasses to trifocals--sharpening my view at multiple levels

[John Benson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Staci Lola Drouillard is a resident of Grand Marais, MN and has written a sad, but loving, exploration of the lives of her seven aunts on both her mother and father's sides. Most of them were born in the 1930s and most have since died, but she is able to bring out the lives of these ordinary women and tell of the challenges they dealt with in their lives from poverty to alcoholism to unfaithful husbands and to helping each other raise children. While the book is a very honest and an enlightening book, the aunt's individual stories are sometimes lost as the author often explores many different family issues. I think the book is a valuable addition to understanding the lives of ordinary women during the past few generations.

[Trish Francis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book.


I cherished and savored every chapter, every Aunt,
as Staci unfolds each aunt’s personality,
family traditions and history of Anishinaabe, German/ English culture and the effects, that
instilled in each of them as well as generationally.

This is the “truth telling “ of each woman with her own resiliency, strength and wisdom through the
many, sometimes, heartbreaking
challenges and expectations… “as women”,
they each faced.

I felt connected to these women
in a very deep way and appreciated their
beautiful loving connection, acceptance and loyalty to and of each other.

This book goes on “my favorite “list 💜

[Karen Richardson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm also from northern Minnesota (although not as far as Grand Marais, where this book is largely based, which is way WAY northeast) and enjoyed reading this book of 7 aunts - although I sometimes mixed them up - but they were all characters in their own way.

I liked that it followed each auntie from birth to death, including the many bumps in the roads (consistently bad choices include men and alcohol). But the thread of family first carries them through.

The author's writing is often beautiful and evocative, but could use better editing. It got repetitive sometimes - even on pages that were close together - which detracted from its quality.

[Beth · Rating 3 out of 5]

This family history/memoir is a bit slow, but filled with fascinating details about the lives of Staci Lola Drouillard's seven aunts - 4 on her mother's side and 3 on her father's side. The women all struggle with some poverty, dysfunctional families, and difficulties being indigenous residents of small, northern Minnesota towns near Lake Superior. The book describes how each approached motherhood and sisterhood and some of the issues involved with culture eradication.

[S K · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this book, not so much for the format, which was a bit confusing, but for the deep understanding I felt. Although my family background has no Native or First Nation blood, I could relate to the struggles that both sides of Staci’s family endured.
Perhaps the fact that I am now in my senior years allows me to overlook some of the problems in this book, such as a need for tighter editing, etc.
The book allowed me to reflect on my own role as a woman in our society.

[Sue · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found this memoir interesting about the author’s female role models growing up in northern MN. Lots of hardships related to the poverty & the depression, large families, Indigenous genes, societal expectations for girls & women and struggles with addiction. Would have been really helpful to have both family trees to refer to for relationships of the many characters in the book.