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No One Crosses the Wolf: A Memoir
A powerful memoir about the traumas of a perilous childhood, a shattering murder-suicide, and a healing journey from escape to survival to recovery.
Growing up, Lisa Nikolidakis tried to make sense of her childhood, which was scarred by abuse, violence, and psychological terrors so extreme that her relationship with her father was cleaved beyond repair. Having finally been able to leave that relationship behind, surviving meant forgetting. For years, “I’m fine” was a lie Nikolidakis repeated.
Then, on her twenty-seventh birthday, Nikolidakis’s father murdered his girlfriend and her daughter, and turned the gun on himself. Nikolidakis’s world cracked open, followed by conflicted shock, grief, mourning for the innocent victims, and relief that she had escaped the same fate. In the tragedy’s wake, questions Who was this man, and why had he inflicted such horrors on her and his last victims? For answers, Nikolidakis embarked on a quest to Greece to find her father’s estranged family and a reckoning with the past she never expected.
In her gripping and moving memoir, Nikolidakis explores not only the making of a killer but her own liberation from the demons that haunted her and her profound self-restoration in the face of unimaginable crimes.
Growing up, Lisa Nikolidakis tried to make sense of her childhood, which was scarred by abuse, violence, and psychological terrors so extreme that her relationship with her father was cleaved beyond repair. Having finally been able to leave that relationship behind, surviving meant forgetting. For years, “I’m fine” was a lie Nikolidakis repeated.
Then, on her twenty-seventh birthday, Nikolidakis’s father murdered his girlfriend and her daughter, and turned the gun on himself. Nikolidakis’s world cracked open, followed by conflicted shock, grief, mourning for the innocent victims, and relief that she had escaped the same fate. In the tragedy’s wake, questions Who was this man, and why had he inflicted such horrors on her and his last victims? For answers, Nikolidakis embarked on a quest to Greece to find her father’s estranged family and a reckoning with the past she never expected.
In her gripping and moving memoir, Nikolidakis explores not only the making of a killer but her own liberation from the demons that haunted her and her profound self-restoration in the face of unimaginable crimes.
272 pages, Kindle Edition
First published September 1, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 237 reviews
August 3, 2022
The best books are those that make you feel. The best memoirs are those that make you remember your own experiences and, despite your differences, leaves you able to understand and empathize with the writer. NOONE CROSSES THE WOLF: A MEMOIR, does all of that.
Lisa Nikolidakis is an excellent writer who clearly put everything she has into her memoir. She lays herself bare in ways that will make some readers squirm. All readers will come to understand exactly how damaged she was during her formative years. Damaged to the point of being broken, her undoing is a painful thing to experience, even vicariously.
NOONE CROSSES THE WOLF, told in three parts, is initially, a painful coming of age story about a girl navigating a family controlled by a childish father. Her father, not only sexually abuses her, but sometimes, later, cries in grief, at the foot of her bed, begging her forgiveness and promising never to let it happen again. This same father, who rages behind closed doors, and is the charismatic life of the party everywhere else, has to be the center of attention, no matter what.
Outwardly this feels like a normal nuclear family living in the New Jersey suburbs, vacationing at the shore with extended family members. Both parents are working hard, raising their children and taking an interest in their school activities. They are active in the Greek Orthodox church, reflecting the father's birth place and pride in his Greek heritage. When the parents argue they try to hide it from the kids
I am convinced that "coming of age" is hard on everybody. Being a kid (or a parent) is no picnic, even under the best of circumstances. This author absolutely nails the nearly universal awkwardness of grade school, need for belonging, the quirkiness of extended families, and the impact of grandparents, either by their absence or presence, in our lives.
Like the author, I too had a spaced out (possibly on drugs) babysitter who nearly burnt the house down, and was never invited back. I too had a quiet shy grandmother who, for more than five years, was an intregal part of our household. And yet, because she would literally hide from anyone who wasn't family, was rarely seen by neighbors or visitors. Even if the experiences I share with the author aren't yours, you are sure to find common ground in the fascinating details of her childhood experiences.
There are gaps in Lisa's childhood memories, but the impact of her experience is undeniable. Her rebellion in her teens is extreme. She literally goes off the rails, raging at the world and punishing herself with dangerous behavior. This includes drugs, alcohol, numerous bizzare sexual encounters, and eventually a long term boyfriend who stifles her and stalks her. These experiences are written in absolutely shocking detail.
This downard spiral goes on for years. The fact that she is able to support herself, live her wrecked, alcohol fueled, sleep deprived life, AND still get a Doctorate degree is nothing short of amazing.
When her father does the most horrific thing imaginable, it forces her to look for answers both inside herself and in a small village on Crete, his birthplace. It also reinforces every shameful thing about him, many that have been her burden and secret for years.
This is not a story of redemption, because there is no curing the pain caused by one very sick man. It does illustrate that even in darkness there is some light and that there is some good in even the most evil people. Nothing is all black or all white. That leaves room for hope.
This is an excellent book about a personal tragedy that I devoured. It moves fast and is a fascinating read.
Lisa Nikolidakis is an excellent writer who clearly put everything she has into her memoir. She lays herself bare in ways that will make some readers squirm. All readers will come to understand exactly how damaged she was during her formative years. Damaged to the point of being broken, her undoing is a painful thing to experience, even vicariously.
NOONE CROSSES THE WOLF, told in three parts, is initially, a painful coming of age story about a girl navigating a family controlled by a childish father. Her father, not only sexually abuses her, but sometimes, later, cries in grief, at the foot of her bed, begging her forgiveness and promising never to let it happen again. This same father, who rages behind closed doors, and is the charismatic life of the party everywhere else, has to be the center of attention, no matter what.
Outwardly this feels like a normal nuclear family living in the New Jersey suburbs, vacationing at the shore with extended family members. Both parents are working hard, raising their children and taking an interest in their school activities. They are active in the Greek Orthodox church, reflecting the father's birth place and pride in his Greek heritage. When the parents argue they try to hide it from the kids
I am convinced that "coming of age" is hard on everybody. Being a kid (or a parent) is no picnic, even under the best of circumstances. This author absolutely nails the nearly universal awkwardness of grade school, need for belonging, the quirkiness of extended families, and the impact of grandparents, either by their absence or presence, in our lives.
Like the author, I too had a spaced out (possibly on drugs) babysitter who nearly burnt the house down, and was never invited back. I too had a quiet shy grandmother who, for more than five years, was an intregal part of our household. And yet, because she would literally hide from anyone who wasn't family, was rarely seen by neighbors or visitors. Even if the experiences I share with the author aren't yours, you are sure to find common ground in the fascinating details of her childhood experiences.
There are gaps in Lisa's childhood memories, but the impact of her experience is undeniable. Her rebellion in her teens is extreme. She literally goes off the rails, raging at the world and punishing herself with dangerous behavior. This includes drugs, alcohol, numerous bizzare sexual encounters, and eventually a long term boyfriend who stifles her and stalks her. These experiences are written in absolutely shocking detail.
This downard spiral goes on for years. The fact that she is able to support herself, live her wrecked, alcohol fueled, sleep deprived life, AND still get a Doctorate degree is nothing short of amazing.
When her father does the most horrific thing imaginable, it forces her to look for answers both inside herself and in a small village on Crete, his birthplace. It also reinforces every shameful thing about him, many that have been her burden and secret for years.
This is not a story of redemption, because there is no curing the pain caused by one very sick man. It does illustrate that even in darkness there is some light and that there is some good in even the most evil people. Nothing is all black or all white. That leaves room for hope.
This is an excellent book about a personal tragedy that I devoured. It moves fast and is a fascinating read.
August 3, 2022
3.5 stars, fearlessly told, and it's a beautiful thing to have a voice, to stand up and tell your truth, your trauma, and how you come into your own strength and resilience. I do think there was repetition and moments describing all the drinking etc and some of that, maybe 50 pages or more even, could have been cut out with the same effect, while still giving the reader enough detail and insight into the continual cycle of self destruction. It just became a little much. In one part of the book, she gives a list of all her likes and interests, and i really think brief passages about that could have given a more rounded version of her, amidst the trauma and drinking etc, these brief glimpses into the rest of her personality and soul would have helped alleviate the heaviness. But at the same, the heaviness is what she lived with for so long, the weight of the horrible traumas she went through. So I do get the choice to focus on that. I guess for me personally (also as a person who went through trauma) I'd like it to have been less repetitive, it kind of drags down/depresses the reader/feels too heavy. The end and feeling of home in Greece was amazing. The horrific abuse and crushing anxiety had me on edge. For me this is a book that is important, a book of healing. I won't read it again. Too heavy. Not going to keep.
May 28, 2023
A good, moderately interesting memoir about a young woman with an abusive father who ultimately finds peace by visiting her father's birthplace after his death. A memoir is only as interesting as a person's life story, and this one wasn't the most riveting, but well written. I did enjoy how the author used encyclopedia entries as a "hook" to tie together the story.
December 20, 2022
Moving Forward
My head is definitely spinning after this story. Sadly, it happened in my family too. This book is about a murder-suicide. The questions about why will never, ever go away. What happened during that last hour? What happened? To point a gun and snuff the life from two souls, and then he put the piece in his mouth and became victim number three (that'swhathappenedinmystory). Who can even begin to process such behavior. But that's really and truly what happened.
I praise this writer for finding her way. She put serious effort into healing. What a journey. It was wonderful to travel to Greece. Definitely enjoyed the food!!
My head is definitely spinning after this story. Sadly, it happened in my family too. This book is about a murder-suicide. The questions about why will never, ever go away. What happened during that last hour? What happened? To point a gun and snuff the life from two souls, and then he put the piece in his mouth and became victim number three (that'swhathappenedinmystory). Who can even begin to process such behavior. But that's really and truly what happened.
I praise this writer for finding her way. She put serious effort into healing. What a journey. It was wonderful to travel to Greece. Definitely enjoyed the food!!
August 14, 2022
Did not go into the explanations I was expecting.
The author writes beautifully, which gives the reader much insight into the effects of her trauma. But my interpretation of the plot explanation led me to believe she would learn more of what led to her father's behavior from his family in Crete. This was not the case. The sense of family she felt from being with her Greek relatives, seems to have contributed to her emotional healing. Perhaps she did not go there looking for explanations but for feelings of being connected.
I probably would not have read this book had I known that she found no revelations about the sources of his behavior. Reading about the self destructive ways she used to blot out the abuse she suffered made for uncomfortable reading.
The author writes beautifully, which gives the reader much insight into the effects of her trauma. But my interpretation of the plot explanation led me to believe she would learn more of what led to her father's behavior from his family in Crete. This was not the case. The sense of family she felt from being with her Greek relatives, seems to have contributed to her emotional healing. Perhaps she did not go there looking for explanations but for feelings of being connected.
I probably would not have read this book had I known that she found no revelations about the sources of his behavior. Reading about the self destructive ways she used to blot out the abuse she suffered made for uncomfortable reading.
September 3, 2022
3.5. While I can appreciate the author’s re-telling of her abuse, self-loathing, and alcoholism, I found using definitions from Brittanica Junior not effective and distracting. But she ultimately is able to find a more positive and productive life path in spite of never having closure on why her father was the way he was. The endless drunken episodes were too repetitive. Tightening up the story and focus would have been more beneficial to the reader.
September 25, 2022
This is a phenomenal story about trauma and healing. It is so well written, it's like reading poetry at times. I laughed; I cried; I LEARNED while reading this book. The author does a fantastic job describing how complicated it is to love and hate someone simultaneously.
August 14, 2022
Too many trigger warnings to list. Read the book’s jacket for an overview. For me, worth the read, not only for the author’s handling of the horrible events of her childhood and subsequent murder-suicide, but also for her journey to connect with his family of origin and to explore the complications of narrative in that context.
September 15, 2022
Yet another in the long list of recent memoirs about traumatic, abusive childhoods, yet I continue to find them interesting. Each one has its own spin. The uniqueness in this one is that her abusive father has murdered his current partner and her daughter (that's not a spoiler - it opens with that).
I read this while also reading What Happened to You, and it was interesting to compare Lisa's emotions with the effects of childhood trauma discussed in What Happened to You.
She has a remarkable way with words - which may be too descriptive for many readers. She is able to explain what I would think of as unexplainable.
"There I drank and drank until I flooded my brain enough to put the memory of that little girl on a raft, one that floated into a dark estuary of my mind, one I'd wall in behind a psychic dam. Repression is a beast. It yanks the curtains shut on anything too hard to face and leaves in its wake nothing but darkness."
In childhood, Lisa receives a set of Encyclopedia Brittanic books, so the book has references to words she looks up throughout her experience. Those references show the vast difference between how the world is supposed to be, and what her life was.
I didn't love the end, but it was her lived experience, so I can't take anything away from that. The place of her peace was surprising to me, and I wish she had used her talent for digging into her emotions to attempt to explain it a bit more.
Thanks to Netgalley for this book. (I also purchased the audiobook and did half and half.)
I read this while also reading What Happened to You, and it was interesting to compare Lisa's emotions with the effects of childhood trauma discussed in What Happened to You.
She has a remarkable way with words - which may be too descriptive for many readers. She is able to explain what I would think of as unexplainable.
"There I drank and drank until I flooded my brain enough to put the memory of that little girl on a raft, one that floated into a dark estuary of my mind, one I'd wall in behind a psychic dam. Repression is a beast. It yanks the curtains shut on anything too hard to face and leaves in its wake nothing but darkness."
In childhood, Lisa receives a set of Encyclopedia Brittanic books, so the book has references to words she looks up throughout her experience. Those references show the vast difference between how the world is supposed to be, and what her life was.
I didn't love the end, but it was her lived experience, so I can't take anything away from that. The place of her peace was surprising to me, and I wish she had used her talent for digging into her emotions to attempt to explain it a bit more.
Thanks to Netgalley for this book. (I also purchased the audiobook and did half and half.)
August 14, 2022
This was a very brave book. I just felt like 1/3 of it could have been taken out without there being any real change. The depictions of the drinking and her negative outlook on herself and her qualities could have been described just once and would have had the same effect. Throughout the novel, I was conflicted because I know that I'm quite desensitized to trauma. I did come to the conclusion that I think there was just too much of it included without enough respite. I believe anyone could have become desensitized halfway through. There was just so much negativity that I found my mind wandering either as a coping mechanism or a little bit of apathy from how repetitive and tedious it could be.
I did really enjoy the ending and her time in Greece, though. It was gorgeous and heartfelt. I completely understood the feeling of finally feeling like you're home. I felt like we saw a lot of growth in the last 10-15 pages. I just wish there had been more of that throughout the whole novel.
I think that when you're someone who has gone through a lot of trauma, your tolerance is a lot higher than anyone else's. So, when you write, you must also keep that in mind. I feel like that may have been the issue in this book. Recognizing the average person's tolerance for trauma, pain, and negativity can be very difficult, though.
I do admire her honesty and her courage in putting this out into the world. I also appreciate the honesty that she achieved within herself. It is incredibly difficult to accept that you did love the person that abused you. It's something that I love seeing in novels because there's so much shame and cognitive dissonance that comes with having any positive memories or feelings with/toward an abuser. I love knowing she is in a better place mentally and physically now. As a testament to hitting rock bottom and picking yourself back up, I think this book excels. So, if you feel like you need that, I would definitely recommend this book.
I did really enjoy the ending and her time in Greece, though. It was gorgeous and heartfelt. I completely understood the feeling of finally feeling like you're home. I felt like we saw a lot of growth in the last 10-15 pages. I just wish there had been more of that throughout the whole novel.
I think that when you're someone who has gone through a lot of trauma, your tolerance is a lot higher than anyone else's. So, when you write, you must also keep that in mind. I feel like that may have been the issue in this book. Recognizing the average person's tolerance for trauma, pain, and negativity can be very difficult, though.
I do admire her honesty and her courage in putting this out into the world. I also appreciate the honesty that she achieved within herself. It is incredibly difficult to accept that you did love the person that abused you. It's something that I love seeing in novels because there's so much shame and cognitive dissonance that comes with having any positive memories or feelings with/toward an abuser. I love knowing she is in a better place mentally and physically now. As a testament to hitting rock bottom and picking yourself back up, I think this book excels. So, if you feel like you need that, I would definitely recommend this book.
October 26, 2022
|| NO ONE CROSSES THE WOLF ||
•
"My pain overrides everything because I didn't understand what was happening inside of me. I had gotten the worst of my father in life; wouldn't he have the last laugh if that were true in death too? I joked years earlier that all he'd leave us was a legacy of debt and a bad reputation. I didn't know the inheritance tax I'd pay would be in rage, and I certainly didn't know I would have to pay for years." ~pg.138
•
"The bad it's easier to remember than the good. I wish I thought regularly of the times my father and I made up and the world seem to boil over with hope, those times when I believed, again, that things will be different, that my father would be good, would stay good, like a real father. Instead, I think of the heartache, the damage. I picture him looming over me yelling, imposing, terrifying. From now until I die, I will imagine him holding a gun to a 15-year-old's head, precisely as he'd done to me years earlier, only now he pulls the trigger every single time."~pg.248
✍🏻
Nikolidakis's memoir gripped me from the first few pages. Her story is one of an abusive, traumatic childhood that led to a half lived adulthood until a horrific crime leads her to liberation and healing from the demons that haunted her for so long.
Beautifully written, this memoir like others of similar substance conjures much empathy for the author. I loved how this unfolded, and sped through it to find out how it would all end.
Gifted from the publisher opinions are my own.
For more of my book content check out instagram.com/bookalong
•
"My pain overrides everything because I didn't understand what was happening inside of me. I had gotten the worst of my father in life; wouldn't he have the last laugh if that were true in death too? I joked years earlier that all he'd leave us was a legacy of debt and a bad reputation. I didn't know the inheritance tax I'd pay would be in rage, and I certainly didn't know I would have to pay for years." ~pg.138
•
"The bad it's easier to remember than the good. I wish I thought regularly of the times my father and I made up and the world seem to boil over with hope, those times when I believed, again, that things will be different, that my father would be good, would stay good, like a real father. Instead, I think of the heartache, the damage. I picture him looming over me yelling, imposing, terrifying. From now until I die, I will imagine him holding a gun to a 15-year-old's head, precisely as he'd done to me years earlier, only now he pulls the trigger every single time."~pg.248
✍🏻
Nikolidakis's memoir gripped me from the first few pages. Her story is one of an abusive, traumatic childhood that led to a half lived adulthood until a horrific crime leads her to liberation and healing from the demons that haunted her for so long.
Beautifully written, this memoir like others of similar substance conjures much empathy for the author. I loved how this unfolded, and sped through it to find out how it would all end.
Gifted from the publisher opinions are my own.
For more of my book content check out instagram.com/bookalong
August 15, 2022
Beautiful book. There were moments that really hit home for me. She is a survivor and carried the guilt that comes along with that. Looking for answers that you never find. Even if you did find them, it wouldn't change anything.
August 14, 2023
This was a tough read. I had to put it aside and read something else for a bit and then the next day go back to this. I think it ended on a hopeful note though.
The writing is very, very good - spare, brutally honest, at times quite funny. I loved that she used the Britannica Junior to frame her story - it worked really well. And both Greece and being Greek are like other characters in the story.
I found myself wanting to shout at her mother and other family and throttle them for not seeing what was going on, or seeing it and not stepping in - how they just ignore what her father was doing to her is mind-blowing. I know, it happens all the time but that doesn't make it any less infuriating. And it doesn't appear that any of her family tried to talk to her about her drinking and terrible life choices. About all her mom did at one point was tell her to "get a job". A school counselor told the author that it was clear she had been / was being abused. And that's it? They did nothing else? She was failed by so many people who should have helped her.
In being so honest about herself, she is not always easy to like - in fact, at times I disliked her intensely. To say nothing when she could see that the same thing was happening to the girlfriend's daughter...but also you can understand it, too. The author was so incredibly damaged, and she had seen what happened if she told on her father. In addition, there were other adults who it turned out knew what was going on and again, did NOTHING.
The thing I found so baffling was when she went to Greece, and met her father's family...everyone had these huge photos of her father hanging in their homes. Why? Was he considered some type of hero for leaving for the US? That's the one point I wish she had explained or explored more. I thought her decision to lie to her aunts was more kindness than maybe they deserved. Did they really not have any idea what he was like? Surely he showed a lot of these issues before he left Greece? I think, based on their reaction to Lisa's lie, that they did have a very good idea what type of person her father was, and so were horrified but not surprised at the news of what he had done. But, they would rather lie to themselves, and believe Lisa, than face the truth. So sad, and you can see how intergenerational abuse continues when you have person after person refuse to look at what really happened.
She shows amazing self-preservation and strength to finally reach out and get help and get sober. Her doing well in college also must have taken incredible work. I can imagine writing this memoir was a harrowing experience, but maybe cathartic as well.
I recommend this book as long as you're prepared for a sometimes tough read.
The writing is very, very good - spare, brutally honest, at times quite funny. I loved that she used the Britannica Junior to frame her story - it worked really well. And both Greece and being Greek are like other characters in the story.
I found myself wanting to shout at her mother and other family and throttle them for not seeing what was going on, or seeing it and not stepping in - how they just ignore what her father was doing to her is mind-blowing. I know, it happens all the time but that doesn't make it any less infuriating. And it doesn't appear that any of her family tried to talk to her about her drinking and terrible life choices. About all her mom did at one point was tell her to "get a job". A school counselor told the author that it was clear she had been / was being abused. And that's it? They did nothing else? She was failed by so many people who should have helped her.
In being so honest about herself, she is not always easy to like - in fact, at times I disliked her intensely. To say nothing when she could see that the same thing was happening to the girlfriend's daughter...but also you can understand it, too. The author was so incredibly damaged, and she had seen what happened if she told on her father. In addition, there were other adults who it turned out knew what was going on and again, did NOTHING.
The thing I found so baffling was when she went to Greece, and met her father's family...everyone had these huge photos of her father hanging in their homes. Why? Was he considered some type of hero for leaving for the US? That's the one point I wish she had explained or explored more. I thought her decision to lie to her aunts was more kindness than maybe they deserved. Did they really not have any idea what he was like? Surely he showed a lot of these issues before he left Greece? I think, based on their reaction to Lisa's lie, that they did have a very good idea what type of person her father was, and so were horrified but not surprised at the news of what he had done. But, they would rather lie to themselves, and believe Lisa, than face the truth. So sad, and you can see how intergenerational abuse continues when you have person after person refuse to look at what really happened.
She shows amazing self-preservation and strength to finally reach out and get help and get sober. Her doing well in college also must have taken incredible work. I can imagine writing this memoir was a harrowing experience, but maybe cathartic as well.
I recommend this book as long as you're prepared for a sometimes tough read.
August 22, 2022
2 1/2 stars. Eh. Not great, not awful. The author seemed to love highlighting what an alcoholic, druggie and how promiscuous she was, I thought the last third of the book was boring. The one aspect I liked what the Encyclopedia references.
September 2, 2022
This was tough. I seem to be drawn to memoirs by people with shitty parents lately so when I read the synopsis for this I was deep into it 15 minutes later and finished pretty fast.
It always feels weird rating/reviewing a memoir, as any criticism makes me feel like I'm personally attacking the author but luckily I don't have to for Nikolodakis. She writes beautifully and her story made my stomach churn, sometimes from disgust at what was happening to her, sometimes from recognition of that men's entitlement in my own surroundings.
My one gripe while reading was the description led me to think more would be revealed about her fathers's past and the Greece trip would be less drinking and more digging into the family history but maybe that's just me. In any case Lisa is a better person than me because I definitely would have told the truth about how the father died, but me being slightly annoyed about the lack of pettiness was quickly rectified by George and I feel like the little girl I desperately wanted to be safe from the beginning was left in good hands of the rest of her family.0
It always feels weird rating/reviewing a memoir, as any criticism makes me feel like I'm personally attacking the author but luckily I don't have to for Nikolodakis. She writes beautifully and her story made my stomach churn, sometimes from disgust at what was happening to her, sometimes from recognition of that men's entitlement in my own surroundings.
My one gripe while reading was the description led me to think more would be revealed about her fathers's past and the Greece trip would be less drinking and more digging into the family history but maybe that's just me. In any case Lisa is a better person than me because I definitely would have told the truth about how the father died, but me being slightly annoyed about the lack of pettiness was quickly rectified by George and I feel like the little girl I desperately wanted to be safe from the beginning was left in good hands of the rest of her family.0
August 31, 2025
I’ve been trying to read nonfic that gives me a different perspective on life and as someone who has thankfully never had to endure any kind of abuse, I felt like this was a good fit. This was a very powerful and tough read, but very necessary. Not only do I feel that I’ve garnered a new persective on overcoming trauma, but there is also an extremely well-lit representation of what it means to make peace with a monster in the family and still own what they have passed on to you. The highlight of this book is the end, where Lisa visits her father’s homeland and, through reunion with family, realizes that she is her father’s daughter, bones and all. She carries the hate he forced upon her, but she also inherited his heritage and his family, with whom she felt more at home than ever before.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 6, 2022
Having dabbled in childhood trauma and complex ptsd myself, Lisa’s story struck a chord with me and I can empathize with her lifelong struggle. The particular pain that is brought by trying to reconcile two dissimilar truths about someone close to you is an impossible task and one that creates wounds that never really heal. Her courage to share her story was immensely impactful and comforting (in that it makes you feel like you’re not alone). I only dock one star because I would have liked to have known more about how she found healing, what happened after Greece, if she ever told family (before book release), how she pulled herself out of self destructive tendencies, etc. Overall, I found the book compelling to read and well written.
October 19, 2022
It’s really hard to find books that go into any depth about other survivors of childhood complex post traumatic stress disorder, and I’m always looking. This memoir was devastatingly relatable and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from every gory, awful page. Nikolidakis doesn’t shy away from describing the pain and the darkness around child abuse and growing up in a chaotic and dangerous environment, and that’s weirdly why I found it so comforting. And my god, the unexpected jokes and zingers! Love a good sense of gallows humor. This one goes on the list of all-time favorites.
August 19, 2022
3.5/5
October 12, 2022
Though I didn't love the story telling, I did feel like I was reading something important. I appreciated the way she so openly shared her story of abuse, trauma,grief, and healing.
November 3, 2022
heartbreaking but inspiring memoir. don’t remember how i came across this book, but glad i did.
TW: sexual abuse, domestic abuse
TW: sexual abuse, domestic abuse
February 9, 2023
This was a powerful story. It was raw and hard to read at times. But childhood abuse should never be stuck in a closet or pushed under a rug and forgotten.
May 29, 2024
Tough read, trigger warning
Such a raw and intense story. I hope the author has healed through telling her truth, I wish I could hug her. Great book, SA trigger warning tho.
Such a raw and intense story. I hope the author has healed through telling her truth, I wish I could hug her. Great book, SA trigger warning tho.
August 16, 2022
Painful to read the author's accounts of abuse at the hands of her violent father and her near-self-destruction via alcohol and bad sex. Her description of her "homecoming" in Greece, as she reconnects with her father's family in a small village on Crete, made it bearable for me to finish the book.
September 8, 2022
After I took nearly 2.5 year writing hiatus, this breathtaking book inspired me to put pen to paper again. There is poetry in every line creating an impeccable balance between the beauty of the prose and the harsh reality of a child and adulthood marred by grief.
August 16, 2022
Don't waste your time
Poorly written. Not a good story. Boring unless you enjoy hearing about someone getting drunk so not read this book
Poorly written. Not a good story. Boring unless you enjoy hearing about someone getting drunk so not read this book
August 11, 2022
Memoirs are not my typical cup of tea but this one stood out to me when reading the blurb. Lisa tells her story in a way that made me forget it was non-fiction multiple times. Her story is heart breaking and difficult to read at times. The growth and journey towards healing was portrayed well.
March 14, 2024
I heard Lisa on a panel at AWP this year and found her so utterly charming and thoughtful I couldn’t wait to read this, and it did not disappoint. Reflective, smart, heartbreaking, funny, a great memoir of trauma and everything that comes after it, good and bad.
August 21, 2022
I don't often read memoirs just because I'm not big into reading about the lives of other people. Fictional people sure but sometimes it can feel strange reading about the real life someone else has experienced and then feeling as if I'm experiencing it since I am reading about it.
This book caught my eye for two reasons: One, because I actually thought it was a fantasy spin on Red Riding Hood given the title and Two, because after reading a preview of the book on Amazon I was hooked and wanted to finish it.
I'm glad I finished the book whether I ended up loving it or not. It's the first real memoir I've read and I can say that the author has an excellent writing style. Some other reviews stated that it reads like a thriller and in several ways it does. You kind of get pulled in to the twisting, tip-of-your-toes, rollercoaster way the author explains her childhood experiences growing up under the shadow of an abusive father that met a grim fate and what that did to her as she became an adult.
At the same time, while it's a strange thing to say about a book written about someone's life, I wanted there to be more. Once the book started getting into her adulthood and away from her childhood I hoped there would be an "ah-ha" moment where the author showed she found a way to move past her father or to find healing for her self-destructive behavior but I'll admit it was difficult to read her drinking and sexual habits over and over, especially once she admitted she knew she was being destructive and doing it anyway. There's a difference between explaining your trauma as a way of showing the brutal past you've been through and then there's just saturation and shock and this book just seemed soaked in misery. After awhile of reading the same negativity, self-loathing and destruction you do kind of get desensitized to it.
I know that her reunion in Crete was meant to be the healing and restorative experience of the book, yet her lie and continual cover-up for a father who abused her doesn't make sense to me. While the book presents the idea that she is on a quest to heal herself I felt by the end that she had somehow managed to damage herself further and continually justify seeking after answers related to her father she won't find. Overall I think this book read more like a therapy journal and less like a rumination on past events that have led to healing which to me is what I think it was meant to be about.
This book caught my eye for two reasons: One, because I actually thought it was a fantasy spin on Red Riding Hood given the title and Two, because after reading a preview of the book on Amazon I was hooked and wanted to finish it.
I'm glad I finished the book whether I ended up loving it or not. It's the first real memoir I've read and I can say that the author has an excellent writing style. Some other reviews stated that it reads like a thriller and in several ways it does. You kind of get pulled in to the twisting, tip-of-your-toes, rollercoaster way the author explains her childhood experiences growing up under the shadow of an abusive father that met a grim fate and what that did to her as she became an adult.
At the same time, while it's a strange thing to say about a book written about someone's life, I wanted there to be more. Once the book started getting into her adulthood and away from her childhood I hoped there would be an "ah-ha" moment where the author showed she found a way to move past her father or to find healing for her self-destructive behavior but I'll admit it was difficult to read her drinking and sexual habits over and over, especially once she admitted she knew she was being destructive and doing it anyway. There's a difference between explaining your trauma as a way of showing the brutal past you've been through and then there's just saturation and shock and this book just seemed soaked in misery. After awhile of reading the same negativity, self-loathing and destruction you do kind of get desensitized to it.
I know that her reunion in Crete was meant to be the healing and restorative experience of the book, yet her lie and continual cover-up for a father who abused her doesn't make sense to me. While the book presents the idea that she is on a quest to heal herself I felt by the end that she had somehow managed to damage herself further and continually justify seeking after answers related to her father she won't find. Overall I think this book read more like a therapy journal and less like a rumination on past events that have led to healing which to me is what I think it was meant to be about.
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