Behind the Dress: One Woman's Life in a Religious Cult and the Healing That Came Later

by Christine Faour

A patriarchal, fundamentalist and abusive cult that was hidden in plain sight. The Amazon Prime docuseries Shiny Happy People tells the students' stories of abuse, control and brainwashing that took place in The ATI cult. This is a mother's story of what she lived and the rules she lived by until, thankfully she found herself out of the cult but unable to live in the world like a 'normal' person.

Have you known someone who was in a cult? Do you think you know your neighbors pretty well? You really don't know what's going on behind the smile, the dress and the doors of the house down the street.

This is the story of a Canadian woman who was in the Advanced Training Institute, run by Bill Gothard, for fourteen years. The amazing thing is that she never knew she was in a cult until several years after she was out. That's what happened to Christine in 2014. She has spent the past nine years trying to deprogram and change the way she sees the world. The Advanced Training Institute had all the hallmarks of a cult, it even fit Bill Gothard's definition of a cult, but Christine and her family believed they were God's cream of the crop. Join her as she navigates the cult, goes through a divorce, finds out she was in a cult and subsequently has to unlearn all she believed to be true. Interestingly, this is the same cult the Duggar family of 19 Kids and counting is a part of.

Written with humor and candor, her story is both heart wrenching and humorous at the same time. Book club discussion questions are included at the end of the book.

Genres: Memoir, Cults, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Cult Classics, Religion

230 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 1, 2022

Reviews

[Ash · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recommend this book to anyone who has watched, Shiny Happy People on Prime to have another survivors perspective. It just so happens that the author now lives close to me after suffering years in a cult. A good read full of hope.

[Lottie Tanner · Rating 3 out of 5]

Would have preferred more detail. Seemed to glaze over important events.

[Mary Beth Bayliss · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great story, truly can empathize with Christine Faour and what she’s been through. The writing is a little repetitive at times.

[Bridget Holbert · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good

Wow! I could not put this book down! The author was a member of the same religious institute that The Duggar Family are members of. And yes it is a cult. The author tells how she fell into it as well as how she came out of it.

[Pat Banton · Rating 5 out of 5]

'Behind the Dress' by Christine Faour is a fascinating story of a young women who, in the 1980's, met and married a "born again Christian". For the next twenty years she lived a life that promised fulfillment of a happy marriage and a contented family but instead brought doubt, isolation, depression and finally physical illness.
Her husband joined ATI, a religious group that demanded compulsory attendance to their workshops, complete obedience to the wishes of her husband, modesty in dress, complete absence from society (no TV, radio, newspapers and definitely no music with a beat), home schooling following the curriculum devised by ATI and harsh discipline of children.
After 20 years of faithfully attending to these demands, her husband asked for a divorce and Christine was left to negotiate her way back to a life outside this group.
It took a number of years but with hard work and a lot of good humor (her account of 'on line dating' and the development of 'divorce fudge' made me laugh out loud), Christine has managed to find her real self, contentment and a new fulfilling life

[Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book 68 of 2023 — Behind The Dress by Christine Faour

I’m certain this book popped up because I have been reading 1) so many biographies and 2) about the ATI and its abuses.

Ms. Faour’s story is well-told. She experienced the same kind of things that many others who escape from a cult realize only after. I think this book was her way of facing the past and also in healing. I hope her story helps others struggling in similar situations to see there is a way out.

I saved her “divorce fudge” recipe to try out. It sounds pretty good! I love the caption that “it doesn’t cause divorce nor do you have to be divorced to enjoy it!”

3.5 rounded up to 4⭐️/5

[Lindsey crazypretty · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was raised in the IBLP/ ATI religious cult and appreciated the perspective of an ATI mom. Christine’s story is heartbreaking while deeply insightful into the world she found herself in as a submissive, compliant wife. The journey her life has taken defies defeat! She found escape and her true north through her story. I had to stop many times during the read to have a bit of a cry for my own mother who I can only imagine may have felt similarly to this author at times.

Thank you Christine for sharing your life story with all of us!

[Faith Burnside · Rating 5 out of 5]

A former ATI mom's perspective on leaving that cult. Not a viewpoint you see often.

[Carrie W · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. I think unless you’ve been through something similar this book would not be rated so highly as it was definitely in need of an editor. But, reading someone’s story who’s very different than mine but yet oh so similar, I could bypass the editing errors.

One of my fav quotes (among the 17 others I highlighted) “She had not known the weight until she felt the freedom”. I connect with that so much as these last few years have been a time where I’ve truly experienced freedom which in turn as exposed the weight of the legalistic, fundamentalist church and school I attended as a child.

I definitely recommend this read for anyone who was raised in a fundamentalist environment.

[Lynn Robertson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Just finished this book of Christine’s journey, it was a page turner! It amplified the saying “you never know what goes on behind closed doors.” Quite a shocking read really as it showed how easily people can become brainwashed without realizing it! So I am simply amazed at your personal journey and in awe at your strength and resilience to overcome being stifled for so many years. Happy that your courage has landed you in a much happier place.
I will be sharing your book with my friends and encourage them to purchase a copy!

[Anne O'Connell · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely a page turner! Behind the Dress is an inspirational memoir full of stories that will make you shake your head, followed by letting out a cheer once she leaves an oppressive marriage and cult life to regain her independence. I congratulate Christine for her courage to leave and re-build her life and find herself again and for openly sharing her story with humour and self-reflection. Well done!

[James Hamblin · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was just ok. I felt it could have been a lot shorter and got the same message and story across. I enjoyed it because I find it interesting to read about what people have gone through and how different their life is to mine. This did feel a little repetitive at times. Also, I was hoping for a bit more information on the cult but i felt like not much was shared. I felt like in the second half of the book i was just pushing to finish.

[Anne Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Good read and knowing the character since Childhood it broke my heart to know how she struggled.
Congratulations Christine on an amazing recovery, you got this girl.
Thanks for sharing your story.
Anne Marie Coleman

[Amanda Goll · Rating 2 out of 5]

Such a disappointing read. I was hoping for much more detail of what life was like while in ATI but instead this read more like a long reflection journal. Parts of it were interesting and others, not so much.

[Marianne Power · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting Story

Another interesting story about the weird Bill Gothard cult. It is sickening to realize how children and women were abused and treated like objects. Christine was brave to share her story.

[Edward earle · Rating 5 out of 5]

must read!

Wonderfully written and definitely stirs emotions!!!! Her tale is inspiring and well written!!! I love her ending and the recipes are a wonderful bonus!!

[Plus Size Bibliophile · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was an interesting read. I've read several survivor stories, but those survivors were usually either born into or introduced to the cult as children and were raised not knowing any better.

The author of this book was an educated adult woman in her thirties who made an informed decision and chose to join the ATI (Advanced Training Institute). She was raised in a loving home and had a support system, she was not recruited, she filled out an application and with crossed fingers hoped to be chosen. That to me is wild.

The author/MC is guilty of doing what many women who are co-dependent do. She was so scared of being alone that she was willing to compromise her comfort, happiness, and wants to please her husband. For 21 years she submitted and went against her better judgement when it came to raising her children. She allowed herself to be sexually abused, disrespected, and isolated.

It wasn't until HE went against their vows and way of life that she was able to be set free and find herself.

I found her story interesting, but I also felt like there were a lot of holes. I would never suggest she share more than she was comfortable with, but I feel like readers such as myself went in looking for more insight an understanding on the cult practices of ATI and how it impacted her not only as an individual but as a mother.

She shared that she has 3 sons but only seems to focus on her youngest who was in 5th grade when she walked away from that life. She mentions having PTSD from her marriage and developing a fear of her husband but other than a few controlling examples we don't really get the full scope of his actions that lead to the trauma that caused her to develop PTSD, nor do we know if her son's experienced it and/or had to seek mental help. I'm not even sure if the older ones left the religion. I am going to assume so, but it's not clarified.

Again, this was a good book but I felt like it was surface level.

[Cheri Blomquist · Rating 3 out of 5]

For some readers, this story may be a lifeline exactly as it is written. I can see how it may help other cult survivors, especially since there is a lot about "after" the cult and how she rebuilt her life. For me it was not quite what I was hoping for, which was a deeper, more detailed examination of the cult itself. The writing was also a bit clunky and tedious--more "tell" than "show" and quite a lot of repetition.

In addition, I found myself a bit frustrated with the "after" part of the story. I disagreed with some of her opinions about life (morality, faith etc.), which is fine, but I was really baffled about the exclusion of any discussion about what seems a crucial topic for "after": What are her religious beliefs and affiliations now? Did she eventually discover authentic Christianity? Did the cult let her husband go? I had a lot of questions like this but only hints to their answers. I also was left wondering if this is really a "cult" or just a heretical group, because it seems like they found it easy to leave. Other memoirs I've read have discussed how dangerous it was to leave.

Overall, though, it is an interesting memoir about a little-known group and may be really meaningful to survivors.

[Angeline Gallant · Rating 1 out of 5]

Terrible

Although I was raised the same way and no longer believe these teachings, the book was so negative. The author is so whiny and negative that it was truly difficult to read. Honestly, I couldn't blame her husband for leaving and was surprised he lasted that long. Constantly crying and wondering why she doesn't have time to have a nervous breakdown but suddenly can't cry when all the other ladies at church are crying over their pain. I eye rolled so much reading this book. They say not to keep negative people in your life. I personally would avoid this one. Seriously whiny book and incredibly ungrateful, cry-baby author. I grew up never allowed to celebrate Christmas or Halloween and wore the same clothing etc, but I think it's related to personality. Maybe she was so desperate to get married but afterwards became a negative nightmare to live with rather than seeing the glass half-full.

[CarolAnne Bills · Rating 5 out of 5]

A Beauty for Ashes Story

Christine Fair's memoir is a cautionary tale. I identified with her in some ways, though I was never a part of a cult. Having said that, I was raised in a home with a controlling mother and an abusive father. I learned that if I was perfect, I could be loved. Not so different from the author. Her road to recovery was long, as was mine. Religious legalism is a hard task master, with tentacles that burrow deep into the psyche. Christine's long, arduous journey to freedom is inspiring. This book is an important handbook for women who have been controlled and defined by others. She's become my friend, though we've never met. We're sisters who are overcomers. May our best days be ahead, and our sorrows grow dimmer by the day in our rear view mirror.

[Wen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting read, and I’m always curious how people fall into a cult who were not born into it. It lacked definition of her slowly falling under control. It read like … here are your new prairie clothes— which she hated; no pre approved music- which she hated; and numerous other things that were immediate— yet she didn’t know this was a cult when all her freedoms were taken away and they fell under the strict rules of the one old dude???

Also anyone notice she bought the piano for 3k and sold it to a friend for 4.3k after having it for years?

I’m so glad she is out and gets to live her life. I would love to know how I can help when I see these unhappy women to let them know they have free will and do not have to obey a man or go to hell.

[Kate Power · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not my usual read. It's not fast paced and if you already have knowledge of ATI there won't be anything that surprises you. But Christine 's story is worth a read. She acknowledges that she is still in recovery and that she'll likely grapple with her trauma until the day she dies. But that's also ok because we are always growing as human beings and growth is a life long process. I think it's really lovely to walk away with that thought if you're someone who is recovering from trauma.

[Esparzas Amazon · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book has such heart.

I was very moved by this book. I know several families personally who have been very wounded by Gothard's "teachings." Adult children refusing to have a relationship with their parents, even years after the families have left ATI. Thank you for sharing your story, Christine.

[Suzanne Swanson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Needed an editor

Christine Faour has an interesting story to tell, and it was brave of her to share it with the world. That being said, the book read like a high school writing assignment. What was probably intended to sound conversational instead sounded juvenile, and it was riddled with inconsistencies and typos.

[Sue Allen · Rating 3 out of 5]

wow that life sucked. I feel kinda bad because she knew from the jump this wasnt going to be a great life. She sort of got swept up into and didnt look back. I can appreciate her guilt as a mom especially hitting her kids with that thick paddle. She did the right thing- she owned up and apologized to her kids and that isnt easy

[Honest Mabel · Rating 3 out of 5]

it wasn’t bad

So in the grand scheme of things this was an appetizer and for cult books this was like dipping your toe into the genre. Nothing too crazy and she mostly glossed over things. I felt more sympathy for her kids than her necessarily.

[Kathleen Dowling · Rating 3 out of 5]

You could really tell the author never fully escaped the self inflicted patriarchy by how much time she invested in online dating after her divorce. I got the sense that if her first husband had not left her, she would have stayed in the program and lived that mediocre life forever.

[Debra A. Sellers]

Reflections

Incredible read! Chrissie, you are a force to be reckoned with. Your experience shows how vulnerable a person can be under the guise of 'Christianity '

[Kathleen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Behind the Dress by Christine Faour is a memoir of one woman's life in a religious cult, and the healing that came after.
4 stars 🇨🇦

[Kara Rochester Garcia · Rating 2 out of 5]

I read a lot of memoirs and cult-lit. This one was slow, vague, and repetitive. It felt more like the author’s inner dialogue journal entries than a vivid story with captivating moments.