Daddy Issues: Love and Hate in the Time of Patriarchy

by Katherine Angel

A personal essay on the entanglement of fathers and feminism. Contemporary feminism has re-embraced thinking about the big ideas - patriarchy, capitalism, care. But contemporary concern about men tends to relate to the men in our lives other than our fathers: our partners, friends, colleagues, bosses - many of whom are also, of course, fathers. Discontent with fathers has increasingly been privatised within feminist discourse. Daddy issues have been relegated to the realm of personal problems individuals take to therapists. In this bold, daring essay Katherine Angel asks: what is the father daughter relationship today? How can it be understood politically? What political harms are done in the name of a father's love? Drawing on classic works by Virginia Woolf and Valerie Solanas along with more recent examples drawn from literature, film and TV, Angel examines how artists have conveyed the painful powers of the father in relation to the daughter.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Essays, Audiobook, Psychoanalysis, Politics, Gender

97 pages, Kindle Edition

First published July 13, 2019

About the author

Katherine Angel is the author of Unmastered, Most Difficult to Tell and Daddy Issues. She directs the MA in Creative and Critical Writing at Birkbeck, University of London, and has a PhD from the University of Cambridge.

Reviews

[Roxane · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book length essay about daddy issues. There are some interesting, provocative observations throughout. Angel is an intelligent and nuanced thinker. This is a powerful topic with a lot to draw from in popular culture and I wanted the overall argument to be sharper, more refined. Lots to think about, nonetheless.

[Raquel Casas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sharon Olds. Virginia Woolf. Valerie Solanas. Sarah Moss. Susan Bordo. Sophie Mackintosh. Kathryn Harrison. ¿Qué tienen todas en común?: deconstruyen la figura del padre.
🌾
«¿𝚜𝚎 𝚑𝚊 𝚘𝚕𝚟𝚒𝚍𝚊𝚍𝚘 𝚎𝚕 𝚏𝚎𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚜𝚖𝚘 𝚍𝚎𝚕 𝚙𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚎? 𝙻𝚘𝚜 𝚙𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚜, 𝚢 𝚙𝚘𝚛 𝚎𝚡𝚝𝚎𝚗𝚜𝚒𝚘́𝚗 𝚕𝚊 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚒𝚊 𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚜𝚎𝚡𝚞𝚊𝚕, 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚗 𝚜𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚘 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚋𝚕𝚎𝚜».
🌾
Mientras que la figura de la madre se ha tratado tradicionalmente con mucha virulencia, incluso con una mezcla de odio y lástima, la figura del padre se ha dulcificado. Recientemente, la figura de la madre se está abordando con más realismo, con sus luces y sombras, desentrañando su complejidad. ¿Pero qué pasa con la figura del padre? Si es ausente, no sorprende. Si es moderno y presente, se le aplaude. ¿A cuantas madres han aplaudido por “cumplir su rol”? ¿A cuantas se las ha apadrinado por no cumplirlo sin escuchar sus posibles motivos? ¿A cuantas madres se las ha juzgado? ¿A cuantos padres?
🌾
«𝙴𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚍𝚘 𝚓𝚞𝚐𝚊𝚛 𝚌𝚞𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚘 𝚝𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚖𝚒𝚎𝚍𝚘; 𝚎𝚜 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚌𝚊𝚍𝚘 𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚛 𝚜𝚒 𝚗𝚘 𝚙𝚞𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚜 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚊𝚛 𝚎𝚕 𝚘𝚍𝚒𝚘, 𝚜𝚒 𝚕𝚘 𝚞́𝚗𝚒𝚌𝚘 𝚚𝚞𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚜 𝚎𝚗 𝚕𝚊 𝚖𝚒𝚛𝚊𝚍𝚊 𝚍𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚜 𝚙𝚊𝚍𝚛𝚎𝚜 𝚎𝚜 𝚚𝚞𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚜𝚒̨𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚞 𝚊𝚖𝚘𝚛, 𝚚𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚎 𝚕𝚘 𝚙𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗».
🌾

#KatherineAngel #DaddyIssues #EnElNombreDelPadre #DescorriendoLaCortina #EnsayosFeministas #EnsayosFundacionales

[Nicola Walsh · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author uses fictional case reports (books, tv, film) to derive interpretations about real life psychology and social structure. Less of an incisive analysis of (one aspect of) society, and more of a tedious discussion that you might have after a few drinks

[Carlos Catena Cózar · Rating 2 out of 5]

Aburrido por anglosajón y heterosexual, además no entiendo muy bien por qué dedica páginas y páginas a resumir otros libros y películas, todos recientes y accesibles.

[Celeste · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interessante il tema e una bibliografia sfiziosa (da cui pescherò sicuramente altri titoli); peccato per la brevità: sicuramente uno studio più approfondito avrebbe portato a un saggio indimenticabile, ma almeno questo ha aperto una porta.

[♡ Martina ♡ · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75 ⭐

Interessante ma troppo corto!
Un saggio molto interessante sulla figura "moderna" del padre e di come viene presentato all'interno di numerosi prodotti (come libri e film) ma, per quanto mi riguarda, l'ho trovato molto superficiale e breve.
Il padre è colui che s'interessa alla vita (sentimentale e non) della figlia femmina ma allo stesso tempo continua a essere geloso di lei e il fatto che ancora oggi questo atteggiamento sia accettato e giustificato significa soltanto che siamo ancora molto lontani da una piena emancipazione.
Ci sono ottimi spunti di riflessione ma che non vengono approfonditi pienamente, in certi versi l'autrice sembra fare un semplice elenco di libri e film in cui la figura del padre si discosta dalla sua più antica accezione in favore di una narrazione moderna ma non troppo e di cui l'autrice consiglia caldamente di fare attenzione.

[Pablo Mallorquí · Rating 3 out of 5]

Un pequeño ensayo sobre la figura del padre en la cultura contemporánea. Katherine Angel analiza una serie de novelas, películas y series de televisión para diseccionar las relaciones paternofiliales desde un prisma feminista y a partir del cambio de mentalidad que tuvo lugar después del Metoo. Muy interesante y lúcido en ciertos momentos pero que peca de ser una sucesión de críticas culturales.

[Kayleigh Cassidy · Rating 4 out of 5]

'Daddy Issues' is a self-less exploration of the role of the father in contemporary culture. I really liked the puncturing insights Katherine Angel makes regarding, not just the male gaze, but the father's. By including Donald Trump's comments about his daughter Ivanka – his inappropriate claims on her 'amazing' body and how if he wasn't her father he'd be dating her – Angel highlights the flippancy of the patriachy.

It feels like a book Daddy's (bad daddy's) should read, but. they won't. Instead it's a thoughtful book for thoughtful people. You'd have to put an advert in the middle of a Celtic game for my dad to maybe take account for his (he doesn't have any) issues. I guess that's the thing, Daddy Issues is a female thing. My brother never got told he had 'Daddy Issues,' it was me, my sister.

At the close of the essay Angel writes beautifully about the power of writing. Though the art of writing she is able to fully realise herself. Made even more impactful because the book is empty of her ego. We learn how the author cherishes the experience of writing as being solely her own, yet the book is illuminating a bigger question, one society should (would) like to understand more about: "Is it possible to get rid of the father, or is he forever internalised?" 71

A book to read now and again and again.

[La Central · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Después de que la nueva oleada feminista haya vuelto a colocar la cuestión del patriarcado en primera plana gracias al movimiento #MeToo, es necesario cuestionar y analizar del mismo modo la figura del padre en la sociedad actual.
Katherine Angel se atreve a poner de relieve la forma en que los hombres llegan a ejercer violencia hacia las mujeres en todos los ámbitos sociales. La autora pretende alejarse del concepto de complejo de Electra enunciado por Jung, en el que la hija desarrolla una veneración y fijación por el padre por encima de otras relaciones afectivas. Generalmente se asocia con la interpretación del término “daddy issues”, que hace referencia a la idea de que las hijas desean y a la vez rechazan a sus padres, por lo que suele utilizarse para valorar el tipo de pareja en función de su edad, estatus económico, aspecto o autoridad.
En este breve pero interesantísimo ensayo, Angel hace una importante labor de documentación basándose en numerosos ejemplos de la ficción y la actualidad para ilustrar la influencia del padre en el desarrollo psicosexual de las mujeres. Es frecuente encontrar que el padre requiere de su hija numerosos espacios afectivos y físicos y no puede permitir que sean ocupados por otro varón." Marta López

[Ella Dawson · Rating 4 out of 5]

“The anger and rage we might feel towards a father, towards the patriarch—towards the raving brutes or the civilised fathers—is not something we can expel, once and for all, and nor does it yield a clear solution. Rage has instead to be folded into everything else we may simultaneously feel; it does not simply burn itself out. What's more, love and hate are not opposites, but are developmentally entangled. We have to be able to hate in order to love.” — Katherine Angel

On Fridays we read feminist theory. #DaddyIssues is a provocative little book about fathers and their role in upholding patriarchy. Digestible cultural and psychological analysis that reminds us that the monsters of the Me Too era, like Harvey Weinstein and Donald Trump, also have children. “You can, at least in principle, leave a husband, but you can’t leave a father.”

Content warnings for child abuse, sexual abuse, and incest.

[Julia · Rating 2 out of 5]

No es lo que me esperaba. Parte de una premisa muy interesante que no termina de desarrollar en ningún momento, a veces incluso se aleja del tema. Pensaba que desarrollaría una tesis apoyándose en obras contemporáneas, no que el libro fuese íntegramente una sucesión de resúmenes de esas obras.

[Martina Neglia · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ne ho scritto qui per La Balena Bianca: https://www.labalenabianca.com/2021/0...

[Giulia_ (_didolcezzeedifurori_) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Confezionato molto bene, poca sostanza

[valentina · Rating 2 out of 5]

Un argomento che davvero necessiterebbe di molte più pagine. Pieno di spunti da approfondire.

[Caitlyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Daddy Issues is a short non-fiction read about the patriarchy, misogyny and the psychology between men and their daughters in Hollywood, politics, pop culture and our homes. Katherine Angel dissects many historical feminist works to invoke the question: how much has really changed?

I thoroughly enjoyed this book and it was definitely thought-provoking. A lot of societal norms and concepts are picked apart including purity culture, protective fathers and a father’s jealousy of their daughter’s partners. I would absolutely recommend this to fellow feminists, or non-fiction readers who are open to being questioned. I can already think of 3 friends I will lend this book to when I own a copy!

[Emma Wilson · Rating 4 out of 5]

“What made me uncomfortable was that this spectacle—this welcome spectacle, even—of a man holding another man to account, was subject to the same logic of punishment and humiliation as the cruelty it was ostensibly challenging.
At the heart of this exchange was a display of power asserted over another, and a pleasure taken in the other’s abject position.”

[Will · Rating 4 out of 5]

Daddy's Little Angel

An interesting essay - it's mostly summarising extant fiction works - most of them textual, some of them audiovisual. There's even a section on The Archers.
In addition, there's a light peppering of psychoanalytic theory, though it doesn't venture farther than Freud and Winnicott, with a dash of Lacan.

It reads well and flows well, doing the job it set out to be: illustrate the daughter-father relationhip (mothers get a passing mention, sons are completely forgotten. which is odd, cause those fathers are themselves sons of mothers, aren't they?) through a comparative summary and critique of mostly literary, mostly fiction, works.

Having said that, using this method, one could pick any starting thesis (not that one is ever explicitly voiced here, beyond "#metoo has shown all the evil men inflict on women, but we've not talked about the one fathers inflict on daughters, and we ought to"), and make a compelling essay by choosing and critiquing works of fiction that serve to illustrate this point.

I would have thought an academic would be aware of the spuriousness of this approach: it's textbook cherry-picking and confirmation bias. Maybe the humanities apply different standards to the quality of their writing as the sciences.

Also, this was a commission - the press asked Angel to write the essay. Someone sensed there were units to be shifted in the wake of #MeToo. So we end up with something that opens a lot of doors onto interesting works - some of which I will explore in greater depths - but ultimately is merely a very broad, but unfortunately shallow ( I could have read a whole essay on each work quoted - well, at least some of them.) analysis of whichever works (of fiction - of course fiction does relate to reality, but this could equally be seen as an analysis of the father-daughter relationship in fiction) serve to illustrate a thesis that is never explicitly voiced, and was the starting point to a gathering of supporting arguments as opposed to a conclusion reached through academic analysis.

Still, I recommend this book to anyone who has a father, or knows someone who does, regardless of their gender.

[Abi · Rating 4 out of 5]

stunningly contagious, funny and heartbreaking reading told through a bold and daring writing style. I devoured it hungover with a flat can of vimto in one sitting. Delicious.

absolutely adored Angel's exploration of patriachary in the domestic setting; after all, it's the place our relationship with the men (or lack of them) in our lives begins.

Angel draws on a variety of father daughter relationships and unpicks what we know to be true about paternal jealousy and protectiveness tropes and unpicks and explains HOW these occur, providing a broad range of examples from poems to films to Tr*mp and beyond to prove her theories. Sarcastic quips follow often and make you smile or laugh in recognition.

I love the way Angel flips on its head concepts of who has the issues, really, and why the daddy issues are placed on the daughter and not the father. For me, this was empowering as heck. Read it, read it, read it.

Missing a star purely bc no alternatives were added for how to Father Well and Daughter Well and maintain that relationship from childhood to adulthood, but really, do any of us know how to do this? Perhaps I am being harsh, but overall DEFINITELY GIVE IT A WHIRL x

[Alice Lombardo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Un’analisi approfondita e pungente della figura paterna all’interno di libri, cinema e televisione. Educativo - anche perché delle opere citate ne conoscevo 1/3 - ma talvolta un po’ angosciante, soprattutto in quanto figlia femmina. Finale sorprendente. Lettura velocissima ma intensa!

“Di questi tempi, i padri sentimentali godono di un certo prestigio culturale. I neopapá, con gli occhi lucidi, prendono in braccio per la prima volta la figlioletta appena nata e si proclamano femministi. Da un giorno all’altro si sono trasformati in eroici difensori dei diritti delle donne, peccato che questa difesa finisca per essere quella che difende la purezza delle proprie figlie e che dunque poggi, in parole povere, sull’identificazione con una mascolinitá predatoria che un padre ben conosce ma che ora sconfessa: dato che si ritrova ad amare una creatura vulnerabile alla sua violenza, riesce a vedere l’anima nera della mascolinitá.”

[Fabiana Perla Tamanti · Rating 2 out of 5]

L'idea non è male ma la comunicazione non mi ha colpito. Storie di patriarcato raccontate capitolo per capitolo attraverso narrazioni di film. Avrei preferito che fosse un saggio con una narrazione diversa. Alla fine mi è sembrato di aver perso un po' di tempo perché è solo il riassunto analitico di film, anche cult, messi sotto una luce di critica al patriarcato. Il libro è ricco quindi di spunti per titoli da approfondire.. alcuni però veramente vecchi degli anni 80.. capisco che si voglia raccontare la storia partendo da lontano ma probabilmente per me era troppo basico di argomenti. Forse va bene per iniziare ad approcciarsi al tema..
Tutto sommato lo consiglierei ma giusto per iniziare ad avvicinarsi a una lettura più critica del patriarcato partendo da riferimenti cinematografici cult.

[Olivia Sours · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book read mostly as a textbook, which is totally fine!!! Short and informative - here are some of the quotes that I enjoyed:

(From Solanas) “fatherhood is the ‘male’s major opportunity to control and manipulate’”

“It is when men feel humiliated that they are most capable of violence”

Biggest takeaway? Men are terrifying

[Valentina Zanga · Rating 1 out of 5]

più che un saggio sembra una pagina di diario senza capo né coda. la struttura di ogni """capitolo""" è sempre uguale: frase interessante per attirare l'attenzione + riassunto di un esempio preso da film/libro/serie tv + breve conclusione con altra frase a effetto o peggio, domanda retorica finale (ma i saggi non dovevano cercare di rispondere, a queste domande? che senso ha un saggio che fa domande senza provare a indicare una direzione teorica e di pensiero?).
le uniche parti lunghe sono quelle di pseudopsicologiche, in cui l'autrice si lancia in interpretazioni dei personaggi basandosi quasi esclusivamente su uno studioso di scuola freudiana (che gioia).
le conclusioni - per me - a volte assurde o molto tirate per i capelli sono la ciliegina sulla torta di un bel 1,5 ⭐ finale (anche se comunque vorrei rileggerlo in italiano per vedere se mi sono persa qualcosa io)

[Tabitha · Rating 2 out of 5]

Gonna DNF this one, took this book to read on a plane as it was the only one small enough for my ryanair flight. Need I say more

While some of the chapters were interesting, I found it lacked structure where it just swapped from each depiction of fathers and girls in different media forms without any form of real commentary from the writer. Felt more like a book of observations rather than critical thinking. My critical theory tutor would be proud of that statement.

Maybe I will revisit and finish, likely that I won’t.

[Anna Keller · Rating 3 out of 5]

some of this I was thinking "hell yeah" and some other chunks really felt like a stretch. it's mostly anecdotal observations (on the topic, obvi -- complex paternal relationships) from diff books and movies, but gets you thinking, at least. this was a quick read, but it'd be cool to see the author really hone in on some individual points with a little more evidence based backing to support the examples she derives from various media. tie that shit up nice and concise and clean and it'd be delish. each idea is enough to make you think, "oh, huh, damn, yea" and then she moves on.

[Negativedialecticsandglitter · Rating 2 out of 5]

Una idea interesante: los daddy issues encubren en realidad unos daughter issues y nos hablan de una masculinidad muy concreta que aún permanece bastate intocable. El resto: análisis fragmentarios de obras literarias y cinematográficas contemporáneas que, por desgracia, no ayudan a profundizar en la tesis, la cual daría muchísimo de sí con otros referentes y la voluntad de encontrar hilos argumentales, de detenerse y generar "mucho texto". Sin embargo, aquí todo es apresurado.

[Rosalinda · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mi aspettavo di più.
È l’insieme dei commenti/analisi delle figure dei padri in diverse opere letterarie/cinematografiche.

Pochi spunti di riflessione per chi, come me, ha letto la Woolf e altri saggi contemporanei sul tema.

[Prpages · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 - 4 stars. Starts off great, then sort of devolves closer to the end. Still a great and thought provoking read.

[Kai Lin · Rating 3 out of 5]

yeah

[Jennie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Could have been longer but also shorter
Psychoanalytic stuff is explained well exaclty what my baby brain needed to get it. I like still don’t know what to do about the whole dad thing though which is not katherine angels fault

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Damn, doveva essere più lungo (e comunque mi ha confermato mie riflessioni e mi ha dato spunti per altre).