An End to Innocence

by Sheldon B. Kopp

Speaking of his own experiences and those of others from whom he has gained wisdom, a psychotherapist illuminates the process of growing up and losing innocence without losing the ability to trust

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Philosophy

Paperback

First published July 1, 1982

About the author

Sheldon Bernard Kopp (29 March 1929 – 29 March 1999) was a psychotherapist and author, based in Washington, D.C. He was born in New York City, and received his PhD from the New School for Social Research. In addition to his private practice, he served as a Psychotherapy Supervisor for the Pastoral Counselling and Consultation Centres in Washington. He died of cardiac arrhythmia and pneumonia. He is also popular for his quotes. One of them is, "All of the significant battles are waged within the self."

Reviews

[Daniel Petra]

A must read for anybody who wants to really grow up and gain maturity.

[Kristen]

I'm a fan of Kopp's more well-known book, If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him!, and this largely forgotten book follows the same template. Kopp, who worked as Jungian therapist during the mid-20th century, uses a combination of patient case studies, his own personal experiences, and examples from literature to illustrate his theme.

In this book, that theme is the idea that children have an innocent belief that the world is essentially fair—those who are good, honest, and hard-working will be rewarded; but as we get older, we realize that the world is often random and unjust. Like Camus, Kopp argues that this loss of innocence is necessary and even freeing; denying it leads to trouble. Much of the book is focused on ways that people cling to their innocence: adopting a Pollyanna attitude, trying to be good, believing they are special, looking to authority figures for praise and validation. Kopp' work is to help them accept that despite our best efforts, we will not always be rewarded:

Long ago I had given up trying to resolve such questions. I told her that attempting to find the answer to the question "What do I deserve?" seemed as useless to me as my own earlier efforts at deciding whether I was really a selfish or unselfish person.

Even if it had been possible to discover the answer, I no longer believed it could be of any conceivable use to me. I let her know that I was unhappy less often now that I had lost interest in such questions.

To put it another way, there is no secret, no "right" way to do things that will ensure our happiness and eliminate all our problems. All we can do is try to live the way we want and accept the consequences as they come. Kopp's gift is for delivering this message—one not heard often enough—in a clear and engaging way.

[Matthew Dall'Oste]

A profound and deeply confronting read.

[Bill Baer]

Goes along well as part 2 of If You Meet the...

[Rob Tarling]

Didn't love this as much as I did 25 years ago, when what it offered was more of a surprise. Nevertheless, worth reading.