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The Big Idea
La mascolinità è tossica? Libri di base per il XXI secolo
Sulla scia del movimento #MeToo e la crescita dell'attivismo per i diritti degli uomini, la mascolinità tradizionale è diventata un tema al centro di un appassionato dibattito. Ma cosa intendiamo esattamente quando parliamo di 'mascolinità' e in che senso si può sostenere che sia dannosa? Questo volume lucido e approfondito esplora le capacità positive della mascolinità a fronte del suo potenziale distruttivo. Ripercorre le sue definizioni, in costante evoluzione sin dall'età della cavalleria, e indaga le nostre attuali aspettative riguardo ai comportamenti, ai ruoli e alle responsabilità degli uomini. Rivela la pressione sociale che grava su di loro affinché agiscano in modo aggressivo, sopprimano le emozioni e prendano sempre il controllo della situazione; infine, il volume studia l'impatto che l'imperativo a essere un "vero uomo" ha sul singolo e sugli altri.
144 pages, Paperback
Published April 21, 2022
17 people are currently reading
395 people want to read
About the author
Andrew Smiler
1 book3 followersAndrew Smiler, PhD, is an author and licensed therapist with expertise in adolescent boys, men, and masculinity. He is the author of “Is Masculinity Toxic?: A Primer for the 21st Century“, the award winning “Dating and Sex: A Guide for the 21st Century Teen Boy,” and co-author of “The Masculine Self (6th ed)” with renowned researcher Chris Kilmartin. He also wrote “Challenging Casanova: Beyond the stereotype of the promiscuous young male.”
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews
November 3, 2019
The way authors addressed ‘masculinity’ in this book is rather descriptive with a lot of emphasis on statistics and definitions. It lacks depth in connecting arguments to sociological and/or evolutionary perspectives, leaving the concepts brought forward discussed in a shallow manner.
January 12, 2022
Visually stunning. Impactful in a gentle and artful way, while not suger coating the harsh facts. An important read.
March 25, 2025
As expected from the title: This really is a primer. But for who exactly?
There is a pretty broad overview of different aspects of (Western) masculinity which was a bit of a refresher on main topics in feminism from the perspective of masculinity. Nothing earth shattering and quite a glaring lack of suggestions for further reading.
The most interesting nugget was the idea that modern masculinity has an explicit anti-feminine component and is more hierarchical than historic masculinity (as in that masculinity is not just a prescriptive role, but also a competitive ladder), which contributes to it being specifically toxic.
There is a pretty broad overview of different aspects of (Western) masculinity which was a bit of a refresher on main topics in feminism from the perspective of masculinity. Nothing earth shattering and quite a glaring lack of suggestions for further reading.
The most interesting nugget was the idea that modern masculinity has an explicit anti-feminine component and is more hierarchical than historic masculinity (as in that masculinity is not just a prescriptive role, but also a competitive ladder), which contributes to it being specifically toxic.
July 28, 2022
Good, readable introduction to the topic. I enjoyed the chronology which very clearly illustrates how the concept and its ideals changed and how we got to where we are now. Recommended especially if you need to consolidate the basics which I didn't even know I lacked.
January 12, 2021
A good starting point for education yourself on (toxic) masculinity. Well-written concept and an innovative layout makes it fun to read.
May 15, 2025
Прочел за час, кажется, для диплома. Ну такой ролик на ютубе средний про маносферу да. Историческая часть крутая и интересная, потом немного meh
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November 10, 2025The term "toxic masculinity" was coined in the mythopoetic men’s movement in the 80s and 90s. Through male-only workshops, wilderness retreats, and drumming circles, a movement to promote a masculine spirituality... whatever the F* that means.
The Australian sociologist Raewyn Connell’s theory of masculinity is the most influential in the field of men and masculinities. To Connell, there are 4 types of masculinity (meaning 4 types of apes????): hegemonic, subordinate, complacent and marginal.
Toxic masculinity refers to the notion that some people's idea of "Being a Man" requires aggressive, dominant behaviours, and promotes homophobia as a protection of manliness. Toxic masculinity, differently from common criminality, derives from cultural pressures for men to behave in a certain way; otherwise, they will be stigmatised and ostracised. And this is likely to affect all boys and men in some way.
The adoption of this type of masculine behaviour contributes to ongoing problems such as mental health, misogyny, rape culture and indiscriminate violence, encouraging men to avoid vulnerability, ignore personal traumas and act in accordance with homophobic or misogynistic beliefs.
Amid amounts of heated discourses around cliches, newspaper and magazine articles have been blaming Toxic Masculinity for rape, murder, mass shootings, gang violence, online trolling, climate change, Brexit and the election of Donald Trump.
I have always had some difficulty fully understanding the concepts of masculinity and femininity. Beyond the simple classification of particular characteristics that distinguish males from females in the human species, any other meaning is relative and not absolute. I start to believe that, in fact, all cliches, real or imaginary, are toxic.
However, if "masculinity" refers to the set of attitudes and actions of some males of the species in their aspirations to be the "alpha" of the pack, assuming as natural to abuse and exploit those who are weaker, then, in my opinion, we are talking about pure and simple criminality or mental illness. Toxicity is far more widespread in our societies than just toward women, which is a concerning reality. But it is a fact that women are the target most exposed to the "macho" attitudes of all those primitive primates.
Here are some statistics that illustrate the situation clearly:
-Globally, an estimated 736 million women—almost one in three—have been subjected to sexual violence at least once in their life (30 per cent of women aged 15 and older).
-Almost one in four adolescent girls aged 15 to 19 has experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner or husband.
-Globally, 6 per cent of women report they have been subjected to sexual violence from someone other than their husband or partner.
-One hundred thirty-seven women are killed by a member of their family every day.
-Adult women account for nearly half (49 per cent) of all human trafficking victims detected globally.
-In 2019, one in five women, aged 20–24 years, were married before the age of 18.
-15 million adolescent girls worldwide, aged 15–19 years, have experienced forced sex.
-It's proven that school-related gender-based violence is a major obstacle to universal schooling and the right to education for girls.
-One in 10 women in the European Union reports having experienced cyber-harassment since the age of 15.
-Across five regions, 82 per cent of women parliamentarians reported having experienced some form of psychological violence while serving their terms.
(Taken from: "World Health Organisation, on behalf of the United Nations Inter-Agency Working Group on Violence Against Women")
And these are just the official numbers… Hurrah for masculinity!
The main question is: Where do these sexist attitudes come from? Are men and boys also victims of cultural brainwashing into misogyny and aggression, requiring reeducation or punishment? Or are these problems buried more deeply, and created by the insecurities and contradictions of men’s lives?
When it all started is a mystery to me. Probably at a time when physical strength was vital for the survival of the individual and the species, and "alpha males" emerged and from this self-attribution of "protective messiah" probably born the whole panoply of cliches and attitudes about what it means to be "a Man" and that evolved and consolidated itself in the unconscious of most human males as a normal behaviour.
However, I am neither a psychologist nor a sociologist to look at the problem in that light; therefore, it is not my place to explain why some human males are, in general, a pathetic miniature replica of a banana republic dictator or a third-rate gangster rapper from a bad Hollywood movie. I think they are simply individuals who are afraid of looking weak or inferior, in any aspect, to women.
Nothing to do, directly, with the subject, but an interesting observation directed to all toxic male apes: About 62% of the GR subscribers are women and only 38% are men. (Round numbers, of course. Only GR admins can have the exact figures.) If correct, it's an interesting fact. I think this is due to the superiority of female intellect. No, I'm not being sarcastic. The female brain is superior to the male one in some aspects; It is related to the corpus callosum, a wide, thick nerve that connects the left and right cerebral hemispheres, enabling communication between them. An MRI study found that the midsagittal corpus callosum cross-sectional area is, on average, larger in females. That is why we call our planet "Mother Earth", proof of women's intellectual superiority. And we can find confirmation in Catholic mythology:
Does anyone know why God created the Man first and only after the Woman? Because all great artists, before accomplishing their masterpiece, always do some rough drafts first….
My wife and I have been married for over 25 years, and throughout this idyll (since she is reading this over my shoulder, I had to strike out the word nightmare…😈) we had our moments of epic confrontations; with each of us screaming at the edge of our lungs, with doors slamming in opposite directions, and thoughts of murdering the Agatha Christie complete works, floating in the air… We explained to the kids afterwards: We weren't arguing, we were having a vigorous constructive debate. I don't think we ever fooled them...
Yet no matter how heated and hot the argument was, no matter how deep the disagreement, I do not remember, on any occasion, threats to physical or psychological integrity or even a lack of respect for the other human being that was in front of us, even when screaming like a banshee in a state of deprivation of its daily "dose" and discovered that all "pasteis de nata" have disappeared.
No one, man or woman, has any excuse to mistreat physically, verbally, or psychologically another human being.
P.S. Just to have some fun, here is a little story I dreamt once; a brief glimpse into a toxic mind and about what some men think of women driving (are there any other environments more toxic than the roads with all those males behind the steering wheels?):
A probably failed prototype of an alpha male is flying over the highway at the wheel of his powerful, instalment-paid brand-new convertible, already late for a meeting.
At a given moment, in the lane to his right, a car levels with his and remains at the same speed and parallel.
Behind the wheel is a stunning blonde, driving with only one hand on the steering wheel, while leaning to her right, concentrating on her reflection in the rearview mirror, is applying lipstick with her other hand.
Suddenly, her car starts to veer slightly to the left and invades a bit of his lane on a collision course with his manhood social statement.
He also starts to pull to his left to keep the distance between the two cars when a blast from the horns of Hell almost made him soil his pants while a sixteen-wheeled and fourteen-ton truck almost wiped him and his shiny new toy off the map.
In a panic, he pulls back to the right, to avoid being crushed, but as he was holding the steering wheel with his left knee because, while he had his cell phone wedged between his ear and the shoulder, his right hand was busy with the shaving machine and the left hand holding a doughnut, so to carry out the manoeuvre, he let the shaver fly onto the road, the cell phone fell into the plastic cup full of hot coffee that he had between his legs, scalding Mr Elmo and his two little friends and, on top of that, the call was cut.
Meanwhile, the blond "bombshell" vanished… Damn women behind the wheel!
At least he saved the doughnut, stuck in his mouth.
P.S.2
Ah, yes! the book... It's mildly interesting but very important because of the addressed topic.
The Australian sociologist Raewyn Connell’s theory of masculinity is the most influential in the field of men and masculinities. To Connell, there are 4 types of masculinity (meaning 4 types of apes????): hegemonic, subordinate, complacent and marginal.
Toxic masculinity refers to the notion that some people's idea of "Being a Man" requires aggressive, dominant behaviours, and promotes homophobia as a protection of manliness. Toxic masculinity, differently from common criminality, derives from cultural pressures for men to behave in a certain way; otherwise, they will be stigmatised and ostracised. And this is likely to affect all boys and men in some way.
The adoption of this type of masculine behaviour contributes to ongoing problems such as mental health, misogyny, rape culture and indiscriminate violence, encouraging men to avoid vulnerability, ignore personal traumas and act in accordance with homophobic or misogynistic beliefs.
Amid amounts of heated discourses around cliches, newspaper and magazine articles have been blaming Toxic Masculinity for rape, murder, mass shootings, gang violence, online trolling, climate change, Brexit and the election of Donald Trump.
I have always had some difficulty fully understanding the concepts of masculinity and femininity. Beyond the simple classification of particular characteristics that distinguish males from females in the human species, any other meaning is relative and not absolute. I start to believe that, in fact, all cliches, real or imaginary, are toxic.
However, if "masculinity" refers to the set of attitudes and actions of some males of the species in their aspirations to be the "alpha" of the pack, assuming as natural to abuse and exploit those who are weaker, then, in my opinion, we are talking about pure and simple criminality or mental illness. Toxicity is far more widespread in our societies than just toward women, which is a concerning reality. But it is a fact that women are the target most exposed to the "macho" attitudes of all those primitive primates.
Here are some statistics that illustrate the situation clearly:
-Globally, an estimated 736 million women—almost one in three—have been subjected to sexual violence at least once in their life (30 per cent of women aged 15 and older).
-Almost one in four adolescent girls aged 15 to 19 has experienced physical and/or sexual violence from an intimate partner or husband.
-Globally, 6 per cent of women report they have been subjected to sexual violence from someone other than their husband or partner.
-One hundred thirty-seven women are killed by a member of their family every day.
-Adult women account for nearly half (49 per cent) of all human trafficking victims detected globally.
-In 2019, one in five women, aged 20–24 years, were married before the age of 18.
-15 million adolescent girls worldwide, aged 15–19 years, have experienced forced sex.
-It's proven that school-related gender-based violence is a major obstacle to universal schooling and the right to education for girls.
-One in 10 women in the European Union reports having experienced cyber-harassment since the age of 15.
-Across five regions, 82 per cent of women parliamentarians reported having experienced some form of psychological violence while serving their terms.
(Taken from: "World Health Organisation, on behalf of the United Nations Inter-Agency Working Group on Violence Against Women")
And these are just the official numbers… Hurrah for masculinity!
The main question is: Where do these sexist attitudes come from? Are men and boys also victims of cultural brainwashing into misogyny and aggression, requiring reeducation or punishment? Or are these problems buried more deeply, and created by the insecurities and contradictions of men’s lives?
When it all started is a mystery to me. Probably at a time when physical strength was vital for the survival of the individual and the species, and "alpha males" emerged and from this self-attribution of "protective messiah" probably born the whole panoply of cliches and attitudes about what it means to be "a Man" and that evolved and consolidated itself in the unconscious of most human males as a normal behaviour.
However, I am neither a psychologist nor a sociologist to look at the problem in that light; therefore, it is not my place to explain why some human males are, in general, a pathetic miniature replica of a banana republic dictator or a third-rate gangster rapper from a bad Hollywood movie. I think they are simply individuals who are afraid of looking weak or inferior, in any aspect, to women.
Nothing to do, directly, with the subject, but an interesting observation directed to all toxic male apes: About 62% of the GR subscribers are women and only 38% are men. (Round numbers, of course. Only GR admins can have the exact figures.) If correct, it's an interesting fact. I think this is due to the superiority of female intellect. No, I'm not being sarcastic. The female brain is superior to the male one in some aspects; It is related to the corpus callosum, a wide, thick nerve that connects the left and right cerebral hemispheres, enabling communication between them. An MRI study found that the midsagittal corpus callosum cross-sectional area is, on average, larger in females. That is why we call our planet "Mother Earth", proof of women's intellectual superiority. And we can find confirmation in Catholic mythology:
Does anyone know why God created the Man first and only after the Woman? Because all great artists, before accomplishing their masterpiece, always do some rough drafts first….
My wife and I have been married for over 25 years, and throughout this idyll (since she is reading this over my shoulder, I had to strike out the word nightmare…😈) we had our moments of epic confrontations; with each of us screaming at the edge of our lungs, with doors slamming in opposite directions, and thoughts of murdering the Agatha Christie complete works, floating in the air… We explained to the kids afterwards: We weren't arguing, we were having a vigorous constructive debate. I don't think we ever fooled them...
Yet no matter how heated and hot the argument was, no matter how deep the disagreement, I do not remember, on any occasion, threats to physical or psychological integrity or even a lack of respect for the other human being that was in front of us, even when screaming like a banshee in a state of deprivation of its daily "dose" and discovered that all "pasteis de nata" have disappeared.
No one, man or woman, has any excuse to mistreat physically, verbally, or psychologically another human being.
P.S. Just to have some fun, here is a little story I dreamt once; a brief glimpse into a toxic mind and about what some men think of women driving (are there any other environments more toxic than the roads with all those males behind the steering wheels?):
A probably failed prototype of an alpha male is flying over the highway at the wheel of his powerful, instalment-paid brand-new convertible, already late for a meeting.
At a given moment, in the lane to his right, a car levels with his and remains at the same speed and parallel.
Behind the wheel is a stunning blonde, driving with only one hand on the steering wheel, while leaning to her right, concentrating on her reflection in the rearview mirror, is applying lipstick with her other hand.
Suddenly, her car starts to veer slightly to the left and invades a bit of his lane on a collision course with his manhood social statement.
He also starts to pull to his left to keep the distance between the two cars when a blast from the horns of Hell almost made him soil his pants while a sixteen-wheeled and fourteen-ton truck almost wiped him and his shiny new toy off the map.
In a panic, he pulls back to the right, to avoid being crushed, but as he was holding the steering wheel with his left knee because, while he had his cell phone wedged between his ear and the shoulder, his right hand was busy with the shaving machine and the left hand holding a doughnut, so to carry out the manoeuvre, he let the shaver fly onto the road, the cell phone fell into the plastic cup full of hot coffee that he had between his legs, scalding Mr Elmo and his two little friends and, on top of that, the call was cut.
Meanwhile, the blond "bombshell" vanished… Damn women behind the wheel!
At least he saved the doughnut, stuck in his mouth.
P.S.2
Ah, yes! the book... It's mildly interesting but very important because of the addressed topic.
June 18, 2023
4* - Really interesting book. I enjoy Thames & Hudson's The Big Idea Series. They're informative, thought-provoking and a great introduction to big topics such as understanding masculinity today.
I enjoy the format of The Idea Series books, the graphic design, typography and layout of photos & text make it accessible to a wide array of readers. I've got a few in my reading pile.
It was interesting how the chapters are split up and how it goes through history to give context to how masculinity has changed through the centuries to then give modern examples of what it is like today.
As a feminist living in the UK, I've found reading about masculinity important especially where there has been much emphasis in today's culture on the toxicity of it and how the culture affects everyone, particularly in Western society.
Additionally, as someone who feels & exerts both feminine & masculine energy as well as having a non-binary partner, it's really interesting learning about the various types of masculinity and that there isn't just one type.
This book is a conversation starter on what we can do to help men in crisis or how to dismantle toxic masculinity brick by brick for a more balanced healthy society. Once we start talking more about it, we can start addressing it more.
I enjoy the format of The Idea Series books, the graphic design, typography and layout of photos & text make it accessible to a wide array of readers. I've got a few in my reading pile.
It was interesting how the chapters are split up and how it goes through history to give context to how masculinity has changed through the centuries to then give modern examples of what it is like today.
As a feminist living in the UK, I've found reading about masculinity important especially where there has been much emphasis in today's culture on the toxicity of it and how the culture affects everyone, particularly in Western society.
Additionally, as someone who feels & exerts both feminine & masculine energy as well as having a non-binary partner, it's really interesting learning about the various types of masculinity and that there isn't just one type.
This book is a conversation starter on what we can do to help men in crisis or how to dismantle toxic masculinity brick by brick for a more balanced healthy society. Once we start talking more about it, we can start addressing it more.
May 4, 2021
Интересная книга для тех, кто увлекается гендерными исследованиями. Хотела бы, чтобы все мои знакомые парни прочитали эту книгу.
Ещё раз убедилась, что господствующая маскулинность или менбокс наносит ущерб. В первую очередь женщинам из-за культуры насилия. Радует, что кажется мир движется в сторону устранения гендерных ролей.
Ещё раз убедилась, что господствующая маскулинность или менбокс наносит ущерб. В первую очередь женщинам из-за культуры насилия. Радует, что кажется мир движется в сторону устранения гендерных ролей.
January 7, 2023
A great book to learn about masculinities and how they are seen and experienced in the western world. I am not a great fan of the lay out of the book. The chapter about the historical development of masculinity oversimplifies things. But the other chapters are great. They inspire me to develop lessons about discussing masculinities in my classes. I hope I'll find the time to do so.
December 7, 2025
Il formato interno del libro è molto particolare, l'idea di avere dimensione diverse del font delle parole a seconda dell'importanza del paragrafo è interessante e ben pensata ma alla lunga mi ha stancata, infatti l'ho abbandonato per diversi mesi (forse di più) perché mi era passato l'interesse. Però è una buona analisi dell'argomento! Lo consiglio!
November 26, 2020
This is a really good starting point for those wishing to understand socially situated toxic masculinity. It gives great examples and overviews, however, it really is a ‘primer’ and refers mostly to one specific type of theory: the ‘man box’ theory.
August 3, 2021
Extremely informative and perfectly explains every single area of life that has a touching point with the currently existing toxic masculinity.
So well done!
So well done!
September 1, 2021
Novel and effective way to absorb a big idea. Loved it! Learnt a lot.
Something you can go back to and get more out of.
Something you can go back to and get more out of.
October 14, 2022
Got this book in the V&A shop after the fashioning masculinities exhibit. Good introduction and accessible - lots of graphics, photographs, and defining jargon
September 24, 2022
in realta sto leggendo : Il nostro cibo ci sta uccidendo?
January 20, 2021
Manbox. Incels. Wow. A great deal of learning to be had.
April 2, 2023
An interesting read, and offers a basic understanding on all facets of the argument. In its attempt to provide a balanced viewpoint of the arguments for and against the toxicity of Masculinity, I felt it lost some of its messaging along the way. Without drawing a clear conclusion or decision it leaves the question to the reader, to challenge their own thoughts, but also feels like it suppresses the authors own viewpoint and take on the topic.
Regardless of all this it raises some good discussion points to consider when reviewing your own behaviours and actions regardless of sex, gender, or ethnicity
Regardless of all this it raises some good discussion points to consider when reviewing your own behaviours and actions regardless of sex, gender, or ethnicity
February 21, 2023
Ein sehr nüchtern und einförmiges "Buch". Habe mir mehr erhofft und nicht wirklich neues dazugelernt bzw. welches nicht ohne mit etwas Überlegung ohnehin offensichtlich war. Es hat historische als auch gesellschaftlich vielfältige Einblicke gegeben, aber zu keiner intesiveren und reflexiveren Auseinandersetzung mit dieser eigentlich brennend wichtigen Thematik animiert. Vielleicht waren meine Ansprüche zu groß, aber ich denke es wurden keine scharfsinnige oder clevere Denkansätze geliefert und an dem Thema nur an der Oberfläche rumgekratzt.
December 5, 2020
So personally I found this book to be a good primer and a good overview to most ideas around masculinity. I appreciate that there are further resources at the end of the book.
I found that sometimes it could have been more critical of masculinity. But since it wasn't very in depth I also understand that thats difficult. All in all its a good read
I found that sometimes it could have been more critical of masculinity. But since it wasn't very in depth I also understand that thats difficult. All in all its a good read
February 7, 2023
Habe mir von dem Buch mehr erhofft.
Anregende Fragen, Denkanstöße.
Am Ende nehme ich nicht viel Neues mit. Das Lesen des Buchs war für mich auch ausgesprochen anstrengend. An sich eine interessante Idee mit den einzelnen Textschnipseln verschiedener Größe, leider hat es mir das Lesen erheblich erschwert.
Anregende Fragen, Denkanstöße.
Am Ende nehme ich nicht viel Neues mit. Das Lesen des Buchs war für mich auch ausgesprochen anstrengend. An sich eine interessante Idee mit den einzelnen Textschnipseln verschiedener Größe, leider hat es mir das Lesen erheblich erschwert.
August 18, 2021
Zwar ein interessantes Thema mit guten Gedankenansätzen aber relativ unzusammenhängend geschrieben
May 18, 2022
Is masculinity toxic? Yes and no. What kind of men do we want?
Displaying 1 - 24 of 24 reviews