What do you think?
Rate this book
The One Who Loves You the Most
I have never felt like I belonged to my body. Never in the way rhythm belongs to a song or waves belong to an ocean.
It seems like most people figure out where they belong by knowing where they came from. When they look in the mirror, they see their family in their eyes, in their sharp jawlines, in the texture of their hair. When they look at family photos, they see faces of people who look like them. They see faces of people who they'll look like in the future.
For me, I only have my imagination.
But I'm always trying.
Twelve-year-old Gabriela is trying to find their place in the world. In their body, which feels less and less right with each passing day. As an adoptee, in their all-white family. With their mom, whom they love fiercely and do anything they can to help with her depression. And at school, where they search for friends.
A new year will bring a school project, trans and queer friends, and a YouTube channel that help Gabriela find purpose in their journey. From debut author medina comes a beautifully told story of finding oneself and one's community, at last.
It seems like most people figure out where they belong by knowing where they came from. When they look in the mirror, they see their family in their eyes, in their sharp jawlines, in the texture of their hair. When they look at family photos, they see faces of people who look like them. They see faces of people who they'll look like in the future.
For me, I only have my imagination.
But I'm always trying.
Twelve-year-old Gabriela is trying to find their place in the world. In their body, which feels less and less right with each passing day. As an adoptee, in their all-white family. With their mom, whom they love fiercely and do anything they can to help with her depression. And at school, where they search for friends.
A new year will bring a school project, trans and queer friends, and a YouTube channel that help Gabriela find purpose in their journey. From debut author medina comes a beautifully told story of finding oneself and one's community, at last.
255 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 10, 2022
7 people are currently reading
1740 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 86 reviews
November 24, 2022
I would like to preface my review by stating I won The One Who Loves You Most in a Goodreads giveaway and secondly, I absolutely love the message and inspiration behind this book. Growing up, throughout middle school, it was very rare for me to find age-appropriate fictional books that featured characters that identified with the LGBTQIA+ community, so I'm glad Medina is an author that is setting out to change this all the while informing their intended audience in a way that's easily understood. However, there are certain aspects of the book that left me confused and wanting more. Before I get into these things, I'd like to point out the positives of the book.
For starters, there can never be too many books featuring marginalized characters and I'm happy to see more and more are being published, including this one. Gabriela makes for a great role model for middle school aged children when it comes to learning more about your identity, being respectful towards others that identify differently from oneself, along with providing a great way to learn about LGBTQIA+ topics via utilizing YouTube, Google, etc. And lastly, this book has many inspirational moments, such as Gabriela's essay project on being your authentic self, Gabriela's talks with their school counselor, Mr. Shapiro, about gender identity and expression, and Abbie and Héctor's acceptance of Gabriela and their loving, wholesome friendship.
Despite the main characters of the story explicitly being stated as middle school students aged 11-13, the way they spoke to one another and delivered information seemed like it should've come from late high school aged to college aged students. For example, on page 84, when Abbie and Gabriela met up with Héctor in the library in order for Gabriela to learn more about the LGBTQIA+ community, Abbie says, "That's super rad. I hope [Gabriela's old friend's lesbian mother and stepmother] [are] in love, treat each other equally in their relationship, and resist any form of discrimination in the toxic misogynistic society we live in!" I'm not suggesting that it's impossible for a middle school student to articulate and feel this way, but it doesn't come across as realistic.
While I'm on the topic of the writing in the book, I also found the dialogue and prose to be a bit all over the place in terms of tone. In some moments, the characters sound and act their age, like in page 159, when Gabriela mentions, "Burping would never stop being funny and gross", or page 44, when after Héctor explained to Gabriela the meaning of BIPOC, Gabriela proceeded to lie about having already known its meaning, giving me the impression of a middle schooler that feels the need to lie about their knowledge in order to "fit in" and appear more intellectual than they actually are. And then there's pages like 227, with Abbie going into great detail about dealing with bullying in their school and immediately having the faculty jump on board with her proposal, as if middle schoolers would be more knowledgeable than the adults and on page 197, the seemingly out of place writing about what Gabriela sees outside the window in their Spanish class.
Another thing I'd like to point out are moments when the characters act out of character. Despite Johnathan having been cruel and homophobic towards Gabriela and Abbie throughout the majority of the book, on page 156, Gabriela forgives Johnathan after witnessing him getting yelled at by his father and from then on, despite not apologizing to Gabriela and Abbie right away, becomes a part of their group of friends. At the start of the book, Gabriela is described as a loner that sits at lunch by themselves and doesn't have any friends, yet after two new students arrive (Abbie and Héctor) and immediately befriend them, Gabriela is no longer shy and reclusive and seems to adopt a bolder, more extroverted personality despite no reasons for this shift.
Another thing about Gabriela that left me confused and a bit disappointed is that I feel like Gabriela's worries about being adopted and not knowing about their birth family, culture, being one of the few POCs at their school, etc., are forgotten at the halfway mark of the story. I feel like if Gabriela was able to embrace both their struggles with gender identity and being adopted, it would've made for a more emotionally driven and powerful story.
And lastly, pages 178 through 180, when Johnathan delivers his essay to the front of the class in which he details the abuse he experiences at home from his father in which, "[he fixes] him dinner [and] he throws the dish across the table" and "when [Johnathan's father has] fallen asleep with empty beer bottles flooding the floor, [Johnathan] reach down to clean up his mess. He wakes up and hits [him] for being so stupid," I feel like went underappreciated. I understand that beforehand, Johnathan was a bully, but at the very least their teacher, Mrs. Andersen, should've shown more concern over his essay. Instead, the class, including Abbie and Gabriela, gives him a standing ovation and Mrs. Andersen points out how the usage of "stupid" was ableist instead of immediately pulling him to the side or sending him to the guidance counselor.
Further on in the story, after Héctor's brother, Arturo, decides to deejay at the middle school dance, despite having previously being placed in the hospital after being a victim of a homophobic attack, Johnathan says, "He's brave to keep DJ'ing." In response, Abbie begins to attack Johnathan about his usage of the word "brave" and that, "[Johnathan had] just recently decided [he's] a good person . . . what were you doing before you met us? You don't have the right to call us brave." While I understand why Abbie is upset with Johnathan's usage of the word "brave", especially considering he had bullied and stood by while his friend, Matt, physically assaulted her, but at this point in the story, he had seemingly fully assimilated in their friend group and is trying to become an ally, and yet he was met with such hostility over a non-malicious usage of "brave".
All in all, I feel like the story has a great premise and it's written in a way that I'm sure middle schoolers to high schoolers would enjoy, but with the issues I outlined above, I feel like the story is okay, or two stars, at where it currently stands.
For starters, there can never be too many books featuring marginalized characters and I'm happy to see more and more are being published, including this one. Gabriela makes for a great role model for middle school aged children when it comes to learning more about your identity, being respectful towards others that identify differently from oneself, along with providing a great way to learn about LGBTQIA+ topics via utilizing YouTube, Google, etc. And lastly, this book has many inspirational moments, such as Gabriela's essay project on being your authentic self, Gabriela's talks with their school counselor, Mr. Shapiro, about gender identity and expression, and Abbie and Héctor's acceptance of Gabriela and their loving, wholesome friendship.
Despite the main characters of the story explicitly being stated as middle school students aged 11-13, the way they spoke to one another and delivered information seemed like it should've come from late high school aged to college aged students. For example, on page 84, when Abbie and Gabriela met up with Héctor in the library in order for Gabriela to learn more about the LGBTQIA+ community, Abbie says, "That's super rad. I hope [Gabriela's old friend's lesbian mother and stepmother] [are] in love, treat each other equally in their relationship, and resist any form of discrimination in the toxic misogynistic society we live in!" I'm not suggesting that it's impossible for a middle school student to articulate and feel this way, but it doesn't come across as realistic.
While I'm on the topic of the writing in the book, I also found the dialogue and prose to be a bit all over the place in terms of tone. In some moments, the characters sound and act their age, like in page 159, when Gabriela mentions, "Burping would never stop being funny and gross", or page 44, when after Héctor explained to Gabriela the meaning of BIPOC, Gabriela proceeded to lie about having already known its meaning, giving me the impression of a middle schooler that feels the need to lie about their knowledge in order to "fit in" and appear more intellectual than they actually are. And then there's pages like 227, with Abbie going into great detail about dealing with bullying in their school and immediately having the faculty jump on board with her proposal, as if middle schoolers would be more knowledgeable than the adults and on page 197, the seemingly out of place writing about what Gabriela sees outside the window in their Spanish class.
Another thing I'd like to point out are moments when the characters act out of character. Despite Johnathan having been cruel and homophobic towards Gabriela and Abbie throughout the majority of the book, on page 156, Gabriela forgives Johnathan after witnessing him getting yelled at by his father and from then on, despite not apologizing to Gabriela and Abbie right away, becomes a part of their group of friends. At the start of the book, Gabriela is described as a loner that sits at lunch by themselves and doesn't have any friends, yet after two new students arrive (Abbie and Héctor) and immediately befriend them, Gabriela is no longer shy and reclusive and seems to adopt a bolder, more extroverted personality despite no reasons for this shift.
Another thing about Gabriela that left me confused and a bit disappointed is that I feel like Gabriela's worries about being adopted and not knowing about their birth family, culture, being one of the few POCs at their school, etc., are forgotten at the halfway mark of the story. I feel like if Gabriela was able to embrace both their struggles with gender identity and being adopted, it would've made for a more emotionally driven and powerful story.
And lastly, pages 178 through 180, when Johnathan delivers his essay to the front of the class in which he details the abuse he experiences at home from his father in which, "[he fixes] him dinner [and] he throws the dish across the table" and "when [Johnathan's father has] fallen asleep with empty beer bottles flooding the floor, [Johnathan] reach down to clean up his mess. He wakes up and hits [him] for being so stupid," I feel like went underappreciated. I understand that beforehand, Johnathan was a bully, but at the very least their teacher, Mrs. Andersen, should've shown more concern over his essay. Instead, the class, including Abbie and Gabriela, gives him a standing ovation and Mrs. Andersen points out how the usage of "stupid" was ableist instead of immediately pulling him to the side or sending him to the guidance counselor.
Further on in the story, after Héctor's brother, Arturo, decides to deejay at the middle school dance, despite having previously being placed in the hospital after being a victim of a homophobic attack, Johnathan says, "He's brave to keep DJ'ing." In response, Abbie begins to attack Johnathan about his usage of the word "brave" and that, "[Johnathan had] just recently decided [he's] a good person . . . what were you doing before you met us? You don't have the right to call us brave." While I understand why Abbie is upset with Johnathan's usage of the word "brave", especially considering he had bullied and stood by while his friend, Matt, physically assaulted her, but at this point in the story, he had seemingly fully assimilated in their friend group and is trying to become an ally, and yet he was met with such hostility over a non-malicious usage of "brave".
All in all, I feel like the story has a great premise and it's written in a way that I'm sure middle schoolers to high schoolers would enjoy, but with the issues I outlined above, I feel like the story is okay, or two stars, at where it currently stands.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 23, 2022
shit, if i could time travel to the mid-nineties and give this book to twelve year old me, i would. since i can't, i'm gifting it to my niephlings and their parents. as a grown person with plenty of preteen emotions, fixations and wounds, i quickly found myself rooting for gabriela, our gentle protagonist who gives and receives so much heart on their journey to understand and embrace who they are.
this is *technically* YA, and admit i have NO IDEA what kids these days like/need/read, but i'd encourage other adults to read it now, especially as a way to re-imagine, wipe up, and cope with the emotional residue of figuring out who to hang out with, what to wear, and, frankly, who/how to be, during junior high. and also i think it'd be an informative read for anyone who wants to learn more about mental health, asexuality, queerness, trans-racial adoption, and how grown ups ought to be.
what are the best parts? probably how warm this book is. how much it reflects a more ideal world, without being cheesy or unrealistic. also, its abundance of characters you just might want to embrace. and the way it talks about music and connection.
i can't wait to read what medina writes next.
::insert heart eyes emoji and a black thumbs up::
this is *technically* YA, and admit i have NO IDEA what kids these days like/need/read, but i'd encourage other adults to read it now, especially as a way to re-imagine, wipe up, and cope with the emotional residue of figuring out who to hang out with, what to wear, and, frankly, who/how to be, during junior high. and also i think it'd be an informative read for anyone who wants to learn more about mental health, asexuality, queerness, trans-racial adoption, and how grown ups ought to be.
what are the best parts? probably how warm this book is. how much it reflects a more ideal world, without being cheesy or unrealistic. also, its abundance of characters you just might want to embrace. and the way it talks about music and connection.
i can't wait to read what medina writes next.
::insert heart eyes emoji and a black thumbs up::
June 1, 2022
4.25-4.5/5, there were a few situations that could have been handled better, in my opinion, but overall, I think The One Who Loves You the Most is such an important and heartwarming read and I loved it!
Want to read
June 28, 2022Seeing binders/compressors on the cover is the dream I didn’t know I had 😭
February 11, 2023
I really wanted to like this book. I, like so many queer adults, wish that I had more books available to me as a kid that talked openly about discovering your identity in a cis- and hetero-normative world. Unfortunately, the story really suffers for the sheer scope of topics that this book brings up (and often neglects to resolve in a meaningful way).
While Gabriela, our protagonist, goes through a tried-and-true journey of self-discovery, the surrounding characters and setting stretch the limits of my credulity. I found the vast majority of the dialogue unbelievable, especially coming out the mouths of sixth-graders (check out some of the other reviews of this book for examples). Much of the book reads as Gabriela floating through their life as side characters give them Queer 101-style rundowns on identity, resulting in a character arc that feels more like window shopping than personal introspection. Some parts of the story were, if you'll excuse the language, extremely cringe-worthy. A major emotional beat for a side character, in which they reveal extremely traumatic and sensitive information about their life, is completely undercut by an authority figure's response of calling out this twelve-year-old on using the word "stupid" in an ableist way. Shortly thereafter, the same character remarks on the bravery of a gay man going right back to DJ'ing after being assaulted after his last gig, which draws ire from the main cast who state "you don't have the right to call us brave."
The level of politic on display in this book strikes me as extremely online (coming from someone who spent her formative years and much of her early adulthood on Tumblr), lacking nuance and humanity for the sake of superficial identity and purity politics. In the interest of transparency, I consider myself pretty far left politically, and as a trans lesbian have a vested interest in LGBTQIA+ civil rights. This book just discusses its subject matter in a way reminiscent of theory built from online community rather than lived reality and praxis. I truly hope that the audience this book is aiming for exists, reads this book, and loves it, but I just can't see myself recommending it over similar titles which approach the subject matter in a more realistic, humanized manner.
To quote my partner, "just because it's positive representation, doesn't mean it's GOOD representation."
While Gabriela, our protagonist, goes through a tried-and-true journey of self-discovery, the surrounding characters and setting stretch the limits of my credulity. I found the vast majority of the dialogue unbelievable, especially coming out the mouths of sixth-graders (check out some of the other reviews of this book for examples). Much of the book reads as Gabriela floating through their life as side characters give them Queer 101-style rundowns on identity, resulting in a character arc that feels more like window shopping than personal introspection. Some parts of the story were, if you'll excuse the language, extremely cringe-worthy. A major emotional beat for a side character, in which they reveal extremely traumatic and sensitive information about their life, is completely undercut by an authority figure's response of calling out this twelve-year-old on using the word "stupid" in an ableist way. Shortly thereafter, the same character remarks on the bravery of a gay man going right back to DJ'ing after being assaulted after his last gig, which draws ire from the main cast who state "you don't have the right to call us brave."
The level of politic on display in this book strikes me as extremely online (coming from someone who spent her formative years and much of her early adulthood on Tumblr), lacking nuance and humanity for the sake of superficial identity and purity politics. In the interest of transparency, I consider myself pretty far left politically, and as a trans lesbian have a vested interest in LGBTQIA+ civil rights. This book just discusses its subject matter in a way reminiscent of theory built from online community rather than lived reality and praxis. I truly hope that the audience this book is aiming for exists, reads this book, and loves it, but I just can't see myself recommending it over similar titles which approach the subject matter in a more realistic, humanized manner.
To quote my partner, "just because it's positive representation, doesn't mean it's GOOD representation."
September 30, 2022
Reading queer middle grade as an older human is a cathartic experience. A lot of the time I think about how I would’ve felt if I had representation at a younger age, and The One Who Loves You the Most is no exception.
Gabriella is anxious about the new school year. However, they never anticipated meeting the new girl with the purple backpack and making a fast friend. In writing class they struggle to write a report about their authentic self, leading them to question everything. How can you be your authentic self if you don’t even know who you are?
As much as I loved the concept of this book, it had so many things going on in 200pgs that none of them were done well. If I was to describe the characters it would simply be a list of traits without any personality. As an example, here are all of Gabriella’s elements (without spoilers) they are trying to take care of their depressed single mom, ASL was their first language since their mom is an interpreter, they are questioning their gender and sexuality, they are being bullied, they want to be a writer, they are trying to connect with their Latine identity as an adopted child in an Italian family, they wake up to music each morning, they are having trouble making friends and managing past friendships. Every character was made like this–not in the “effortless representation” kind of way, but in the “let's mention this once and drop it” kind of way. It was painful to see so many threads I was hanging onto being completely meaningless.
There was no reading between the lines. The stream-of-consciousness monologue felt both neurodivergent and over the top. It was very confident dialogue, constantly making blanket statements that made Gabriella’s actual personality and character flaws murky at best. Although I enjoy a good info dump, it was pontification, not exploration.
Other than the characters feeling like unemotional piles of representation, all the conversations were educational and it felt like the author was talking instead of the characters to school the reader. I understand talking about these things but it doesn’t help the writing! The characters were translucent, because yes middle schoolers do talk about more than just pronouns and activism.
I know this book was written with great intentions. If this author knew they were getting another book deal I’m sure they would’ve focused their message more. It’s a product of a flawed market because the book attempts to rectify all the holes in the industry and center the people left behind. Sadly, Medina felt the need to include everything in a tiny book. In the end, I want people to read The One Who Loves You the Most, if not for the way it was crafted, then for the way it pushes. I hope this person gets another chance to write a story where the representation is natural and not forced.
—ARC Provided by High Five Books—
Gabriella is anxious about the new school year. However, they never anticipated meeting the new girl with the purple backpack and making a fast friend. In writing class they struggle to write a report about their authentic self, leading them to question everything. How can you be your authentic self if you don’t even know who you are?
As much as I loved the concept of this book, it had so many things going on in 200pgs that none of them were done well. If I was to describe the characters it would simply be a list of traits without any personality. As an example, here are all of Gabriella’s elements (without spoilers) they are trying to take care of their depressed single mom, ASL was their first language since their mom is an interpreter, they are questioning their gender and sexuality, they are being bullied, they want to be a writer, they are trying to connect with their Latine identity as an adopted child in an Italian family, they wake up to music each morning, they are having trouble making friends and managing past friendships. Every character was made like this–not in the “effortless representation” kind of way, but in the “let's mention this once and drop it” kind of way. It was painful to see so many threads I was hanging onto being completely meaningless.
There was no reading between the lines. The stream-of-consciousness monologue felt both neurodivergent and over the top. It was very confident dialogue, constantly making blanket statements that made Gabriella’s actual personality and character flaws murky at best. Although I enjoy a good info dump, it was pontification, not exploration.
Other than the characters feeling like unemotional piles of representation, all the conversations were educational and it felt like the author was talking instead of the characters to school the reader. I understand talking about these things but it doesn’t help the writing! The characters were translucent, because yes middle schoolers do talk about more than just pronouns and activism.
I know this book was written with great intentions. If this author knew they were getting another book deal I’m sure they would’ve focused their message more. It’s a product of a flawed market because the book attempts to rectify all the holes in the industry and center the people left behind. Sadly, Medina felt the need to include everything in a tiny book. In the end, I want people to read The One Who Loves You the Most, if not for the way it was crafted, then for the way it pushes. I hope this person gets another chance to write a story where the representation is natural and not forced.
—ARC Provided by High Five Books—
March 22, 2023
A middle grade debut book about identity, body dysphoria, finding oneself and a community to feel seen/belong to through their YouTube channel. Told from the perspective of a 12 year old POC adopted by white parents. Good on audio but parts of the story felt a bit forced/disjointed for me. Just an okay read. Would look forward to more by this author though.
June 28, 2022
I received a free copy of The One Who Loves You the Most, pre-publication, as part of a goodreads giveaway.
As a non-binary asexual person, I loved this book. It took me so long to learn who I am, and a big part of that was lacking the vocabulary. When the only word you have to explain your differences is “lesbian,” that’s all you think there is. This book introduces so much more, and it also does a great job of representing how the lack of vocabulary and understanding can be limiting to learning who you are.
I loved the group of friends they formed. I loved the loving and supportive relationship with their mom. I loved the supportive adults in their life. It was an inclusive book, and I would have killed to have this sort of story in my life when I was Gabriela’s age.
From a queer perspective, the representation was amazing. From a readers perspective, I wasn’t quite as enamored.
This definitely reads like young adult book, with the different storylines and the brief sections. A younger reader would have an easier time comprehending the language and writing used, so that is absolutely amazing. I one hundred percent want to include this book in my classroom library. However, there was definitely some elevated dialogue in this book that would be hard to follow. It felt like this book couldn’t decide if it wanted to be an introduction to LGBTQIA+ for young readers, or if it wanted to be an instructional manual for how to be politically correct. I am ALL for teaching students how to be respectful, but there were times in the story (particularly in one scene with Jonathan) that the characters took a harsh stance, like the person new to this entire world should already be fluent and never step on any toes. There was very little forgiveness for a learning curve, and that is something I think all young adult works should include.
Overall, I loved the representation. It definitely felt like it was trying to cram ALL of the queer experience into one book, so it felt like a little much at some points, but it was more than thrilling to have all the different representations and experiences as part of a regular story. I am excited to see the official version of the book, and see what they might change going forward.
As a non-binary asexual person, I loved this book. It took me so long to learn who I am, and a big part of that was lacking the vocabulary. When the only word you have to explain your differences is “lesbian,” that’s all you think there is. This book introduces so much more, and it also does a great job of representing how the lack of vocabulary and understanding can be limiting to learning who you are.
I loved the group of friends they formed. I loved the loving and supportive relationship with their mom. I loved the supportive adults in their life. It was an inclusive book, and I would have killed to have this sort of story in my life when I was Gabriela’s age.
From a queer perspective, the representation was amazing. From a readers perspective, I wasn’t quite as enamored.
This definitely reads like young adult book, with the different storylines and the brief sections. A younger reader would have an easier time comprehending the language and writing used, so that is absolutely amazing. I one hundred percent want to include this book in my classroom library. However, there was definitely some elevated dialogue in this book that would be hard to follow. It felt like this book couldn’t decide if it wanted to be an introduction to LGBTQIA+ for young readers, or if it wanted to be an instructional manual for how to be politically correct. I am ALL for teaching students how to be respectful, but there were times in the story (particularly in one scene with Jonathan) that the characters took a harsh stance, like the person new to this entire world should already be fluent and never step on any toes. There was very little forgiveness for a learning curve, and that is something I think all young adult works should include.
Overall, I loved the representation. It definitely felt like it was trying to cram ALL of the queer experience into one book, so it felt like a little much at some points, but it was more than thrilling to have all the different representations and experiences as part of a regular story. I am excited to see the official version of the book, and see what they might change going forward.
July 22, 2022
3.5 stars, rounded up.
Oh wow, this book is going to make waves once it is fully polished. It is such an important read, full of great diversity and an amazing MC who is learning how to come into their own.
Gabriela is a phenomenal main character. Towards the end of the book, they realize they identify as asexual and nonbinary (I’m not putting this under spoilers because it’s great rep and I’m using Gabriela’s preferred pronouns, so anyone would be able to guess anyway), and a good majority of the book is filled with their concern over their body image and the way puberty is affecting it. It provides some compelling insight into how it feels to not fit within the gender dichotomy, especially since Gabriela isn’t aware of the terms for what they are feeling. They are also asexual, but this part of their person isn’t delved into as deeply, which was a shame because I feel like both asexuality and gender nonconformity are two under-represented ways of life. At the root, though, Gabriela is a young middle schooler who is still feeling their way around, and I loved that they actually read like a middle schooler- the dialogue, confusion and overall demeanor is perfectly conveyed and gives credibility to their character as a young person (although I have no idea what grade they are actually in).
Every other classmate and friend they meet, however, sounds like a college-aged politically correct hipster. It was jarring to hear some of the sentences that came out of Hector and Abbie’s (the friends Gabriela meets) mouths. None of these other kids sound like middle schoolers at all, which kind of ruins the interactions because Gabriela still sounds like a child. The friends that Gabriela makes are supposed to be eye-opening and informative, but I don’t think it’s handled in a very constructive or even kid-friendly way. It feels like I’m being lectured by someone at a protest rally rather than talking to a child. I really hope that the dialogue gets changed before this book goes to publish, because there is so much good information being given, it just isn’t in a very relatable narrative.
I wish that Gabriela’s story of realizing their identity had been the main storyline, because while there is a lot of great diversity (asexuality, gay, trans, intersex, poc, anxiety, depression, etc), Gabriela’s story gets lost under all the other stories trying to speak up. Not to say that it isn’t important to include great rep, but a book can only address so much without stretching itself thin. For example, Hector’s gay brother is jumped for living openly, but the matter gets swept under the rug after happening because there is too much else going on to spend the proper time to analyze and deep dive this problem. I would rather have had more time spent on discussing Gabriela’s asexuality and gender fluidity than jump around from person to person to talk casually about their trauma, because not enough time is given to actually lend value to the discussions.
And on that note, I found it really uncomfortable that so much emphasis was placed on knowing what labels you fall under. I get that it’s great for some people to be able to say “I am asexual” or “I am gender fluid,” but not everyone needs to label it, and they especially don’t need to know their label by high school. I am just over thirty years old and I’m only now realizing some things about myself, but I don’t need to label anything I feel or get a badge for it. Is it just old-fashioned to think that people don’t need to know everything about your life, and not everything needs to be labeled if you don’t want it to be? There’s a point in the book where Abbie was pressuring Gabriela to say what she was, when Gabriela wasn’t even sure or confident yet. It just felt really wrong to me. I don’t know. I understand that it’s nice to know the name for what/how you feel, but I don’t think you should be forced to slap yourself with specific labels. Just feeling is fine.
I liked Hector and Abbie as supporting characters (even though they spoke like they were in their mid-twenties), but I have to say I wasn’t sold on the way they all met because they literally seem to come out of nowhere, all at the same time. Gabriela starts the book saying that they have no friends (for seemingly no reason since Gabs is such a sweet and accommodating kid, I don’t know why no one would be friends with them), and then in the same chapter they see Abbie out the car window and recognize her as a new kid in the fifth grade, yet she turns up in Gabriela’s class; and then Hector is introduced in a different class as being new. And then they all click for some reason. Not really sure why because it was pretty confusing. I don’t even know what grade they all are in. BUT, once they become friends, their friendship is pretty endearing. Hector’s role as a gay poc is talked about more than Abbie’s role as a trans intersex girl (who apparently has a huge youtube following? This part felt like an afterthought), but this again comes down to how thinly stretched the narrative already was, although I do wish that Abbie’s circumstances had been talked about more because her situation is another under-represented point of view, and because it isn’t addressed at all it just seems like another tick in the diversity list.
Aside from Abbie and Hector, there’s the mean boy (I forgot his name) who joins their ranks after apologizing and seeing the error of his ways. I liked that he had a bit of a redemption arc, showing that everyone has a history and can change their ways. However, there was a really random moment that didn’t sit right with me towards the end of the book when Abbie yells at him for existing and for trying to show support. He had already repented for bullying them and had been friends and done projects with their group for a long time at this point, so for Abbie to suddenly yell at him like he was the problem just did not sit right with me. If an ally accidentally says something that they don’t understand is hurtful, you don’t jump down their throat- you gently educate. This kid wasn’t even saying anything wrong; he was calling someone brave for standing up through their trauma. It just didn’t sit right with me that this harsh flip-flop attitude was being shown as okay and something that should be done. This kid has his own trauma- his father is abusive, and we don’t see any of the support that he deserves. Again, just stretched too thin.
Another thing that didn’t quite sit right with me was the portrayal of Gabriela’s mom, who has severe depression. Too often in this book Gabriela had to feed themself, take care of their mom, get themself to school; because their mom would be asleep in bed with her depression. Gabriela knew the signs and would never know if their mom would be available to take care of them. When the depression wasn’t hitting hard then their mom was the nicest person in the world, taking extra good care of Gabriela and showing good communication, but more often than not there was a lot of neglect happening. To be fair, this does take its toll and something is done about it, but I didn’t like the negative impression of depression. It's not an easy disease to live with, but just because you have depression doesn’t mean you just stop living or taking care of your child.
And one more stupid thing: the school bell was always ringing to end class a single conversation after the bell rang to begin class. My sense of time was all over the place. I wish my classes had been that short.
Gabriela really is the shining star of this novel, and I hope that with the finished version they will truly take center stage. Nonbinary and asexuality are things that aren’t often highlighted in books, so I was extra excited to get my hands on this arc since these are topics that do affect me. I think the author overall does a great job of portraying the feeling of not fitting in your body or meeting society’s expectations. It probably helps that they fit the rep they are representing. I have great expectations for the finished version of this book. I don’t want it to be dumbed down, but I do hope the end product will be more accessible.
Many thanks to Goodreads Giveaways and the publisher/author for sending me an ARC in exchange for my honest opinion.
Oh wow, this book is going to make waves once it is fully polished. It is such an important read, full of great diversity and an amazing MC who is learning how to come into their own.
Gabriela is a phenomenal main character. Towards the end of the book, they realize they identify as asexual and nonbinary (I’m not putting this under spoilers because it’s great rep and I’m using Gabriela’s preferred pronouns, so anyone would be able to guess anyway), and a good majority of the book is filled with their concern over their body image and the way puberty is affecting it. It provides some compelling insight into how it feels to not fit within the gender dichotomy, especially since Gabriela isn’t aware of the terms for what they are feeling. They are also asexual, but this part of their person isn’t delved into as deeply, which was a shame because I feel like both asexuality and gender nonconformity are two under-represented ways of life. At the root, though, Gabriela is a young middle schooler who is still feeling their way around, and I loved that they actually read like a middle schooler- the dialogue, confusion and overall demeanor is perfectly conveyed and gives credibility to their character as a young person (although I have no idea what grade they are actually in).
Every other classmate and friend they meet, however, sounds like a college-aged politically correct hipster. It was jarring to hear some of the sentences that came out of Hector and Abbie’s (the friends Gabriela meets) mouths. None of these other kids sound like middle schoolers at all, which kind of ruins the interactions because Gabriela still sounds like a child. The friends that Gabriela makes are supposed to be eye-opening and informative, but I don’t think it’s handled in a very constructive or even kid-friendly way. It feels like I’m being lectured by someone at a protest rally rather than talking to a child. I really hope that the dialogue gets changed before this book goes to publish, because there is so much good information being given, it just isn’t in a very relatable narrative.
I wish that Gabriela’s story of realizing their identity had been the main storyline, because while there is a lot of great diversity (asexuality, gay, trans, intersex, poc, anxiety, depression, etc), Gabriela’s story gets lost under all the other stories trying to speak up. Not to say that it isn’t important to include great rep, but a book can only address so much without stretching itself thin. For example, Hector’s gay brother is jumped for living openly, but the matter gets swept under the rug after happening because there is too much else going on to spend the proper time to analyze and deep dive this problem. I would rather have had more time spent on discussing Gabriela’s asexuality and gender fluidity than jump around from person to person to talk casually about their trauma, because not enough time is given to actually lend value to the discussions.
And on that note, I found it really uncomfortable that so much emphasis was placed on knowing what labels you fall under. I get that it’s great for some people to be able to say “I am asexual” or “I am gender fluid,” but not everyone needs to label it, and they especially don’t need to know their label by high school. I am just over thirty years old and I’m only now realizing some things about myself, but I don’t need to label anything I feel or get a badge for it. Is it just old-fashioned to think that people don’t need to know everything about your life, and not everything needs to be labeled if you don’t want it to be? There’s a point in the book where Abbie was pressuring Gabriela to say what she was, when Gabriela wasn’t even sure or confident yet. It just felt really wrong to me. I don’t know. I understand that it’s nice to know the name for what/how you feel, but I don’t think you should be forced to slap yourself with specific labels. Just feeling is fine.
I liked Hector and Abbie as supporting characters (even though they spoke like they were in their mid-twenties), but I have to say I wasn’t sold on the way they all met because they literally seem to come out of nowhere, all at the same time. Gabriela starts the book saying that they have no friends (for seemingly no reason since Gabs is such a sweet and accommodating kid, I don’t know why no one would be friends with them), and then in the same chapter they see Abbie out the car window and recognize her as a new kid in the fifth grade, yet she turns up in Gabriela’s class; and then Hector is introduced in a different class as being new. And then they all click for some reason. Not really sure why because it was pretty confusing. I don’t even know what grade they all are in. BUT, once they become friends, their friendship is pretty endearing. Hector’s role as a gay poc is talked about more than Abbie’s role as a trans intersex girl (who apparently has a huge youtube following? This part felt like an afterthought), but this again comes down to how thinly stretched the narrative already was, although I do wish that Abbie’s circumstances had been talked about more because her situation is another under-represented point of view, and because it isn’t addressed at all it just seems like another tick in the diversity list.
Aside from Abbie and Hector, there’s the mean boy (I forgot his name) who joins their ranks after apologizing and seeing the error of his ways. I liked that he had a bit of a redemption arc, showing that everyone has a history and can change their ways. However, there was a really random moment that didn’t sit right with me towards the end of the book when Abbie yells at him for existing and for trying to show support. He had already repented for bullying them and had been friends and done projects with their group for a long time at this point, so for Abbie to suddenly yell at him like he was the problem just did not sit right with me. If an ally accidentally says something that they don’t understand is hurtful, you don’t jump down their throat- you gently educate. This kid wasn’t even saying anything wrong; he was calling someone brave for standing up through their trauma. It just didn’t sit right with me that this harsh flip-flop attitude was being shown as okay and something that should be done. This kid has his own trauma- his father is abusive, and we don’t see any of the support that he deserves. Again, just stretched too thin.
Another thing that didn’t quite sit right with me was the portrayal of Gabriela’s mom, who has severe depression. Too often in this book Gabriela had to feed themself, take care of their mom, get themself to school; because their mom would be asleep in bed with her depression. Gabriela knew the signs and would never know if their mom would be available to take care of them. When the depression wasn’t hitting hard then their mom was the nicest person in the world, taking extra good care of Gabriela and showing good communication, but more often than not there was a lot of neglect happening. To be fair, this does take its toll and something is done about it, but I didn’t like the negative impression of depression. It's not an easy disease to live with, but just because you have depression doesn’t mean you just stop living or taking care of your child.
And one more stupid thing: the school bell was always ringing to end class a single conversation after the bell rang to begin class. My sense of time was all over the place. I wish my classes had been that short.
Gabriela really is the shining star of this novel, and I hope that with the finished version they will truly take center stage. Nonbinary and asexuality are things that aren’t often highlighted in books, so I was extra excited to get my hands on this arc since these are topics that do affect me. I think the author overall does a great job of portraying the feeling of not fitting in your body or meeting society’s expectations. It probably helps that they fit the rep they are representing. I have great expectations for the finished version of this book. I don’t want it to be dumbed down, but I do hope the end product will be more accessible.
Many thanks to Goodreads Giveaways and the publisher/author for sending me an ARC in exchange for my honest opinion.
July 8, 2024
Actually a 2.5 I cannot be bothered to round up on Goodreads, but that might change. The extra .5 comes from me thinking this started off very strong: I liked the different facets of Gabriela being uncomfortable in their body/existence (both from their transracial adoptee, and gender dysphoria perspectives). Sometimes this was shown through poetry or a draft for one of Gabriela’s essay assignments, and I thought that was interesting. Also, I liked the nuance in Gabriela’s relationship with their mother. I think the mental illness discussions were sort of stiff and didn’t really show their actual age(read a lot more mature/informative than a middle schooler’s words), but I thought the plot point about Gabriela reconnecting to their roots (via Abbie’s abuela) and processing some of the cultural disconnect with their adoptive mom was mostly well done, if a bit short.
I have several other issues, though. First of all, the writing style. There was an uncanny, constant switching between super simplistic in order to be understandable to the target demographic, and sounding too adult to ever be believable? (And then there’s the pandering lines, like “who uses pencils anymore? So weird. I love it” when Gabriela first meets Héctor? Ok.) Because of that, I can’t imagine how or if this could actually reach the intended audience…? For example, when Maya tells Abbie about her relative’s lesbian relationship, Abbie’s first reaction is(I am quoting the text): “I hope they're in love, treat each other equally in their relationship, and resist any form of discrimination in the toxic misogynistic society we live in!” Abbie’s supposed to be thirteen, by the way.
(Abbie as a character drove me up the wall, actually! She’s a very tropey, “most politically active in the group” character who is one of the people to introduce Gabriela to different queer terms. Frequently, I found her dialogue to be awkward and clunky.)
oh my god on the topic of the characters sounding too adult sometimes. how are these kids getting ubers…don’t they need to be eighteen…but anyhow. When Gabriela comes out to Maya as ace, and she doesn’t take it well, that was easily the funniest part of the entire book😭 “Now what? Where does that leave us?” “I don’t know, but my Uber’s going to be here in six minutes” PLAYED COMPLETELY SERIOUS DURING A SERIOUS MOMENT BETWEEN TWO MIDDLE-SCHOOLERS has me in tearssss
Basically every character has at least one terminally online moment in this book. Completely played straight. It’s painful. One of the teachers hears a poem by a kid about how he’s abused at home by his dad and absorbed some of his behaviors, and his first comment is that his “use of the word ‘stupid’ is ableist” idc that afterwards he sort of excuses it in some convoluted way, HOW is that something ANYONE would say. EVER.
Not much else to say except for the “terminally online” thing definitely applies to Gabriela’s gender arc, too? There aren’t many earnest conversations. Héctor calling that one meetup/conversation thing with Gabriela “Queer 101” doesn’t just feel like a cute name, it basically describes the execution of all the queer topics in this book. Props to the reviewer who said their arc felt “more like window-shopping than personal introspection”, because that describes it pretty well.
No clue if I’d read another book by this author. Maybe yes, if their next novel goes through a couple more editors. But hey, I started this book in a funk, and after passing the beginning, got some enjoyment out of often laughing at some of the lines. So I’m…grateful? Idk.
I have several other issues, though. First of all, the writing style. There was an uncanny, constant switching between super simplistic in order to be understandable to the target demographic, and sounding too adult to ever be believable? (And then there’s the pandering lines, like “who uses pencils anymore? So weird. I love it” when Gabriela first meets Héctor? Ok.) Because of that, I can’t imagine how or if this could actually reach the intended audience…? For example, when Maya tells Abbie about her relative’s lesbian relationship, Abbie’s first reaction is(I am quoting the text): “I hope they're in love, treat each other equally in their relationship, and resist any form of discrimination in the toxic misogynistic society we live in!” Abbie’s supposed to be thirteen, by the way.
(Abbie as a character drove me up the wall, actually! She’s a very tropey, “most politically active in the group” character who is one of the people to introduce Gabriela to different queer terms. Frequently, I found her dialogue to be awkward and clunky.)
oh my god on the topic of the characters sounding too adult sometimes. how are these kids getting ubers…don’t they need to be eighteen…but anyhow. When Gabriela comes out to Maya as ace, and she doesn’t take it well, that was easily the funniest part of the entire book😭 “Now what? Where does that leave us?” “I don’t know, but my Uber’s going to be here in six minutes” PLAYED COMPLETELY SERIOUS DURING A SERIOUS MOMENT BETWEEN TWO MIDDLE-SCHOOLERS has me in tearssss
Basically every character has at least one terminally online moment in this book. Completely played straight. It’s painful. One of the teachers hears a poem by a kid about how he’s abused at home by his dad and absorbed some of his behaviors, and his first comment is that his “use of the word ‘stupid’ is ableist” idc that afterwards he sort of excuses it in some convoluted way, HOW is that something ANYONE would say. EVER.
Not much else to say except for the “terminally online” thing definitely applies to Gabriela’s gender arc, too? There aren’t many earnest conversations. Héctor calling that one meetup/conversation thing with Gabriela “Queer 101” doesn’t just feel like a cute name, it basically describes the execution of all the queer topics in this book. Props to the reviewer who said their arc felt “more like window-shopping than personal introspection”, because that describes it pretty well.
No clue if I’d read another book by this author. Maybe yes, if their next novel goes through a couple more editors. But hey, I started this book in a funk, and after passing the beginning, got some enjoyment out of often laughing at some of the lines. So I’m…grateful? Idk.
Want to read
June 15, 2023R͎e͎a͎d͎ ͎d͎a͎t͎e͎:͎
R͎a͎t͎i͎n͎g͎:͎
O͎w͎n͎e͎d͎ ͎s͎i͎n͎c͎e͎: June 14th 2023
P͎u͎r͎c͎h͎a͎s͎e͎d͎ ͎a͎t͎:͎ Goodwill
P͎r͎i͎c͎e͎:͎? 69¢
ARC addition
R͎a͎t͎i͎n͎g͎:͎
O͎w͎n͎e͎d͎ ͎s͎i͎n͎c͎e͎: June 14th 2023
P͎u͎r͎c͎h͎a͎s͎e͎d͎ ͎a͎t͎:͎ Goodwill
P͎r͎i͎c͎e͎:͎? 69¢
ARC addition
April 28, 2022
This is a beautiful book. If you’re looking for queer, nonbinary, trans, and ace rep….you’ve come to the right place!!
As someone who had similar experiences in middle school…I was more of an introvert and did not really having a friend group yet, just like Gabriela so I can def understand how powerful it is to finally have a group to claim as your own. It really makes a person open up more and feel more comfortable in their own skin. This feels like the transformation Gabriela’s character takes. I’m rooting for the soft spoken introvert with v good humor.
The characters are loving and sensitive and allow their friends to grow and learn. The adults around them are also nice role models.
Also, I just adore Abbie. I could talk endlessly about this book because there is so much to love??!! *But* I’ll just let you read it and experience it for yourself!
Also, also…can y’all please stop posting spoilers?
As someone who had similar experiences in middle school…I was more of an introvert and did not really having a friend group yet, just like Gabriela so I can def understand how powerful it is to finally have a group to claim as your own. It really makes a person open up more and feel more comfortable in their own skin. This feels like the transformation Gabriela’s character takes. I’m rooting for the soft spoken introvert with v good humor.
The characters are loving and sensitive and allow their friends to grow and learn. The adults around them are also nice role models.
Also, I just adore Abbie. I could talk endlessly about this book because there is so much to love??!! *But* I’ll just let you read it and experience it for yourself!
Also, also…can y’all please stop posting spoilers?
Read
October 23, 2022I like this book which told stories about LGBT+ teens life. Very interesting and very touched. in real life as parents we alwasy think we know our kids. But i do not think we do. As a human being in our socity we think we have have female and male. Is that true? What is true?
we alwasy try to define other's idetity who is male and who is female base on our own head not base on themselves. What do they thinking and feeling about themselves. we all need to learn how to respect to each other. We need to respect people who can identify themself "Who I am" rather than we pre identify themself "Who they are" for them.
Also this book is good for people like me who is interested keep learning English.
we alwasy try to define other's idetity who is male and who is female base on our own head not base on themselves. What do they thinking and feeling about themselves. we all need to learn how to respect to each other. We need to respect people who can identify themself "Who I am" rather than we pre identify themself "Who they are" for them.
Also this book is good for people like me who is interested keep learning English.
November 30, 2025
This was a cute middle grade book. I felt like it tried to do a little too much in such a short book, but the characters and their relationships were endearing, and I found this book to be pretty accessible for a younger audience. This would be a great book for a younger reader who wants to understand their LGBTQ+ classmates, or is questioning who and what they are.
Content Warnings: assault, depression, homophobia
Content Warnings: assault, depression, homophobia
September 3, 2022
This book somehow felt soft and wholesome while dealing with some hard topics: living with depression, violence against queer people, verbal/emotional child abuse, and calling out people who make mistakes that hurt others. Having an enby ace main character was a magnificent bonus!!!
June 6, 2022
So much goodness. Put it right on your Must Read list.
Thank you, medina.
~ Signed, A now faithful reader
Thank you, medina.
~ Signed, A now faithful reader
February 26, 2023
I don't think I have the space to fully encompass how disappointing this book was to me. There is blatant and harmful aphobia in an otherwise queer positive book that's super upsetting. The below description will be spoilery because I think it is important to describe the issue.
A character realizes they are asexual after already beginning a relationship with someone. When that person tries to kiss the character, they pull away, then explaining they are asexual and still like the person but don't want to kiss or do other physical things.
The partner responds by telling them they were leading them on and shouldn't have gotten into a relationship without saying they were ace. The two break up. This is an unfortunately common reaction to someone being asexual. The bigger issue is later in the book, where the ace character APOLOGIZES to their ex for not sharing they were ace earlier and the ex basically says "next time be more open if you want to be in a relationship."
This is so so harmful and I as an asexual person was so hurt by this. It is never rectified in the book. I am so sad for any middle grade kids that might read this book and think they have to apologize for who they are or feel like they are leading someone on if they don't come out. So so harmful.
I'm so disappointed.
A character realizes they are asexual after already beginning a relationship with someone. When that person tries to kiss the character, they pull away, then explaining they are asexual and still like the person but don't want to kiss or do other physical things.
The partner responds by telling them they were leading them on and shouldn't have gotten into a relationship without saying they were ace. The two break up. This is an unfortunately common reaction to someone being asexual. The bigger issue is later in the book, where the ace character APOLOGIZES to their ex for not sharing they were ace earlier and the ex basically says "next time be more open if you want to be in a relationship."
This is so so harmful and I as an asexual person was so hurt by this. It is never rectified in the book. I am so sad for any middle grade kids that might read this book and think they have to apologize for who they are or feel like they are leading someone on if they don't come out. So so harmful.
I'm so disappointed.
July 5, 2022
Won in a Goodreads giveaway.
Some of the dialogue seems very forced but it was very nice to read a book world where queer youngins can thrive & be so supported.
Some of the dialogue seems very forced but it was very nice to read a book world where queer youngins can thrive & be so supported.
April 6, 2022
A FANTASTIC AND MUCH NEEDED BOOK. #representationmatters #lgbt #nonbinary #trans #ace
-BIPOC characters
-LGBT authentic rep
-Asexual representation
-Mental Health
-Transracial adoption
-CARING AND ACCEPTING PARENTS AND ADULTS
-HAPPY ENDING!
**I received an eARC**
medina is an asexual nonbinary trans Latine author They are also adopted. medina is a beautiful writer and tells a beautiful story about friendship, community and even first crushes. With a diverse cast of friends, and community members, medina brings each character to life in a respectful and realistic way. The book taps into many themes and even tackles mental health. This is SUCH an important book and every middle school and high school should have it in their libraries!
-BIPOC characters
-LGBT authentic rep
-Asexual representation
-Mental Health
-Transracial adoption
-CARING AND ACCEPTING PARENTS AND ADULTS
-HAPPY ENDING!
**I received an eARC**
medina is an asexual nonbinary trans Latine author They are also adopted. medina is a beautiful writer and tells a beautiful story about friendship, community and even first crushes. With a diverse cast of friends, and community members, medina brings each character to life in a respectful and realistic way. The book taps into many themes and even tackles mental health. This is SUCH an important book and every middle school and high school should have it in their libraries!
October 30, 2022
E ARC provided by Edelweiss Plus
Gabriela lives in New York City with her mother, who is a sign language interpreter and adopted Gabriela from Honduras when she was a baby. The mother suffers frequently from bouts of depression, and has the highs and lows that seem to go with bipolar disorder, although this is not named. Gabriela is used to fending for herself and taking care of her mother because of that. When her teacher, Mrs. Anderson, assigns the students a project to explore their "authentic self" and present it in various ways, Gabriela is conflicted. Ever since hitting puberty, she has become increasingly uncomfortable in her own body, and between that, dealing with her mother, and feeling disconnected from her Honduran background, she has no idea what her "authentic self" is. It doesn't help that she has had a falling out with her best friend Maya. She gets to know Héctor, who is Latinx and identifies as nonbinary and is okay with any pronouns, and Abbie, whose mother is Peruvian and whose father is Indian, and identifies as intersex and trans. Abbie even has a vlog chronicling her journey. Both of her new friends ask Gabriela how she identifies, but she's not able to explain to them, since she is still struggling to understand. Hector suggests some books for her to read, including Garden's groundbreaking Annie on My Mind, and when her former friend Maya sees her reading it, the two start a conversation and start to hang out again. Maya identifies as a lesbian, and mistakes the renewed friendship for a romantic one. She is hurt when Gabriela doesn't want to hold hands or kiss her, but Gabriela starts to understand that while she likes to be with Maya, her identity is asexual. Since she didn't know herself, it was hard to share this information with Maya. When her mother's mental health reaches a crisis level, Gabriela has to stay with Abbie's family, and sees a counselor at school, Mr. Shapiro, who is a trans man and shares a little of his journey with Gabriela. The "authentic self" projects cause a bit of a stir, but also lead to more understanding among the students, and some positive changes in the way the administration handles bullying. Gabriela's mother comes home, and while there is some family conflicts when Gabriela tells everyone she identifies as nonbinary and asexual, her relatives all are supportive in the end. An upcoming school dance gives Héctor a chance to take Gabriela shopping at One Size Doesn't Fit All, an inclusive store where she/they buy their first binder. Héctor's older brother, who is gay, has a periwinkle suit he has outgrown that seems perfect to Gabriela, and they wear it to the dance, even though some students still give them a hard time. Even though things are still difficult, Gabriella finally feels a bit more able to define their "authentic self".
N.B. Since Gabriela uses "she/her" pronouns at the beginning of the book and "they/them" at the end, I have not used "they/them" for Gabriela earlier in the book.
Strengths: This could be used as a textbook on how to properly ask about and address people whose exterior appearance might not align with their inner identifications. Many of the characters are within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, and Gabriela learns a lot about describing what she feels from other people, books, and YouTube videos. There is some information about her mother's mental health condition, and she does get help after a somewhat accidental overdose of sleeping pills. The school is very supportive, and the students who exhibit bullying behavior are dealt with firmly and constructively. I appreciated that several LGBTQIA+ books are mentioned; I reread Annie on My Mind (1982) to see how it holds up and decided that while an excellent book for its time, it would probably be less helpful to modern teens.
Weaknesses: While very helpful, the involved discussions about identity slow the story down a tiny bit and might be apt to date the book if terminology changes, in the same way that the treatment of Annie and Liza has dated Annie on My Mind.
What I really think: Along with Gino's Alice Austen Lived Here and Sass' Ellen Outside the Lines, this is a good example of how middle grade books about gender and sexual identity are currently being written. medina is a Honduran born transracial adoptee who identifies as a nonbinary asexual lesbian (from the biography in the book), so brings personal experience to Gabriela's narrative.
Gabriela lives in New York City with her mother, who is a sign language interpreter and adopted Gabriela from Honduras when she was a baby. The mother suffers frequently from bouts of depression, and has the highs and lows that seem to go with bipolar disorder, although this is not named. Gabriela is used to fending for herself and taking care of her mother because of that. When her teacher, Mrs. Anderson, assigns the students a project to explore their "authentic self" and present it in various ways, Gabriela is conflicted. Ever since hitting puberty, she has become increasingly uncomfortable in her own body, and between that, dealing with her mother, and feeling disconnected from her Honduran background, she has no idea what her "authentic self" is. It doesn't help that she has had a falling out with her best friend Maya. She gets to know Héctor, who is Latinx and identifies as nonbinary and is okay with any pronouns, and Abbie, whose mother is Peruvian and whose father is Indian, and identifies as intersex and trans. Abbie even has a vlog chronicling her journey. Both of her new friends ask Gabriela how she identifies, but she's not able to explain to them, since she is still struggling to understand. Hector suggests some books for her to read, including Garden's groundbreaking Annie on My Mind, and when her former friend Maya sees her reading it, the two start a conversation and start to hang out again. Maya identifies as a lesbian, and mistakes the renewed friendship for a romantic one. She is hurt when Gabriela doesn't want to hold hands or kiss her, but Gabriela starts to understand that while she likes to be with Maya, her identity is asexual. Since she didn't know herself, it was hard to share this information with Maya. When her mother's mental health reaches a crisis level, Gabriela has to stay with Abbie's family, and sees a counselor at school, Mr. Shapiro, who is a trans man and shares a little of his journey with Gabriela. The "authentic self" projects cause a bit of a stir, but also lead to more understanding among the students, and some positive changes in the way the administration handles bullying. Gabriela's mother comes home, and while there is some family conflicts when Gabriela tells everyone she identifies as nonbinary and asexual, her relatives all are supportive in the end. An upcoming school dance gives Héctor a chance to take Gabriela shopping at One Size Doesn't Fit All, an inclusive store where she/they buy their first binder. Héctor's older brother, who is gay, has a periwinkle suit he has outgrown that seems perfect to Gabriela, and they wear it to the dance, even though some students still give them a hard time. Even though things are still difficult, Gabriella finally feels a bit more able to define their "authentic self".
N.B. Since Gabriela uses "she/her" pronouns at the beginning of the book and "they/them" at the end, I have not used "they/them" for Gabriela earlier in the book.
Strengths: This could be used as a textbook on how to properly ask about and address people whose exterior appearance might not align with their inner identifications. Many of the characters are within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, and Gabriela learns a lot about describing what she feels from other people, books, and YouTube videos. There is some information about her mother's mental health condition, and she does get help after a somewhat accidental overdose of sleeping pills. The school is very supportive, and the students who exhibit bullying behavior are dealt with firmly and constructively. I appreciated that several LGBTQIA+ books are mentioned; I reread Annie on My Mind (1982) to see how it holds up and decided that while an excellent book for its time, it would probably be less helpful to modern teens.
Weaknesses: While very helpful, the involved discussions about identity slow the story down a tiny bit and might be apt to date the book if terminology changes, in the same way that the treatment of Annie and Liza has dated Annie on My Mind.
What I really think: Along with Gino's Alice Austen Lived Here and Sass' Ellen Outside the Lines, this is a good example of how middle grade books about gender and sexual identity are currently being written. medina is a Honduran born transracial adoptee who identifies as a nonbinary asexual lesbian (from the biography in the book), so brings personal experience to Gabriela's narrative.
November 3, 2022
This book is a character-driven story about Gabriella, a middle schooler trying to find their place in the world. Their journey towards understanding their queer identity was beautiful and I loved that this book shows how even in an accepting environment (having supportive parent(s), teachers, and friends), it can be difficult to come out to yourself and come to terms with your identity--especially if you don't have the language to understand yourself. As I feel with many of my queer middle grade reads, I found this to be quite cathartic.
However, some of the side plots I did struggle with. For one, the relationship between Gabriella and their mother was a bit questionable to me. I appreciate that this shows a relationship between a parent and child that has mutual respect, but I also can't help but feel that some things weren't appropriate for Gabriella to discuss. Gabriella talks about hiding things from their mother during her depressive episodes to avoid burdening her and being used to taking care of themself during this time. Although realistic, I wish there had been more of a conversation about what roles are okay and not okay to take on as a child. Likewise, in the first half of the book Gabriella talks about their struggles with being adopted, and this plot just kind of drops off in the second half. I loved watching their journey to finding a queer community, and I think if this had been coupled with more of an understanding around their adoption it would have made for a stronger story.
Those critiques aside, I really did like this! A lot was packed into such a little book and even if I didn't agree with the way some things resolved, I can tell it was all handled with care. The audiobook was also a really amazing production--narrated by VICO ORTIZ!! One of my favorite actors!! I definitely recommend this middle-grade, with the caveat that parents and teachers should prepare for questions about the many situations and topics this book discusses.
However, some of the side plots I did struggle with. For one, the relationship between Gabriella and their mother was a bit questionable to me. I appreciate that this shows a relationship between a parent and child that has mutual respect, but I also can't help but feel that some things weren't appropriate for Gabriella to discuss. Gabriella talks about hiding things from their mother during her depressive episodes to avoid burdening her and being used to taking care of themself during this time. Although realistic, I wish there had been more of a conversation about what roles are okay and not okay to take on as a child. Likewise, in the first half of the book Gabriella talks about their struggles with being adopted, and this plot just kind of drops off in the second half. I loved watching their journey to finding a queer community, and I think if this had been coupled with more of an understanding around their adoption it would have made for a stronger story.
Those critiques aside, I really did like this! A lot was packed into such a little book and even if I didn't agree with the way some things resolved, I can tell it was all handled with care. The audiobook was also a really amazing production--narrated by VICO ORTIZ!! One of my favorite actors!! I definitely recommend this middle-grade, with the caveat that parents and teachers should prepare for questions about the many situations and topics this book discusses.
June 6, 2024
Oof. I fully went into this expecting to love it, and I unfortunately did not.
While I understand that the author's intentions were to write a book that showed things more idyllic than reality, it came across as awkward and chronically online instead. In what world would a student sharing to the whole class that they are verbally abused by their father, (who calls them stupid on the daily) warrant a spiel from the teacher on how said student shouldn't use ablest language? Like even in an idyllic world, how is that an appropriate response that any reader is supposed to take seriously? Nobody, even people who are well informed and considerate, speak like this in real life.
I was laughing throughout this book at how awkward and clunky the dialogue was in every single scene. Frankly, it often read like a parody of a really bad psa commercial script. And a lot of what these middle grade-aged kids were saying did not sound like something that would come out of a kids mouth. Either they sounded like they were reading a tumblr info post word for word, or they sounded like what an adult thiiinks a preteen sounds like based on zero interaction with actual preteens.
On top of all of that, the plotting did not make functional sense. This book took on a lot of different topics alongside the main plot but did not engage meaningfully with most of them. Rather than a few B plots running as undercurrents to the main plot, the B plots were dropped into the story with little to no build up and then forgotten about just as quickly. It was all too much and bogged down the whole story while also leaving a lot of big topics only shallowly explored.
I feel like there was a lot of potential here, but this story needed a lot more time and editing than it got
While I understand that the author's intentions were to write a book that showed things more idyllic than reality, it came across as awkward and chronically online instead. In what world would a student sharing to the whole class that they are verbally abused by their father, (who calls them stupid on the daily) warrant a spiel from the teacher on how said student shouldn't use ablest language? Like even in an idyllic world, how is that an appropriate response that any reader is supposed to take seriously? Nobody, even people who are well informed and considerate, speak like this in real life.
I was laughing throughout this book at how awkward and clunky the dialogue was in every single scene. Frankly, it often read like a parody of a really bad psa commercial script. And a lot of what these middle grade-aged kids were saying did not sound like something that would come out of a kids mouth. Either they sounded like they were reading a tumblr info post word for word, or they sounded like what an adult thiiinks a preteen sounds like based on zero interaction with actual preteens.
On top of all of that, the plotting did not make functional sense. This book took on a lot of different topics alongside the main plot but did not engage meaningfully with most of them. Rather than a few B plots running as undercurrents to the main plot, the B plots were dropped into the story with little to no build up and then forgotten about just as quickly. It was all too much and bogged down the whole story while also leaving a lot of big topics only shallowly explored.
I feel like there was a lot of potential here, but this story needed a lot more time and editing than it got
January 31, 2025
So... I generaly likes this book. It has generally good messages and such. One thing that confused me is the way some characters talk, like full grown adults, especially Abbie. If it weren't for this next point it would've still been five stars at best and 4.5 at worst. BUT OH MY GOD. The relationship between Maya and Gabs is literally so toxic. People are allowed to come out at their own time and if they are questioning their identity it's their decision who to tell and when. Let's start with the fact that at the movies, A. Maya attempts to kiss Gabs without consent (AKA sexual abuse) B. She then feels entitled to a kiss from them or it means they're grossed out by her? And then Gabriela continues on to APOLIGIZE and Maya be like "I forgive you but don't want to be in a relationship with you?
*Attempts sexual abuse on maybe partner, feels entitled to physical affection on like, second date, calls partner GIRLFRIEND with no prior discussion, guilt trips partner into thinking it's their fault.
These are EXTREME red flags and the way this is handled in the book is very, very disappointing. As an asexual person I can safely say that if my girlfriend treated me like this I would be very upset and confront them for their toxic behavior. I might have to demote this to 2.5 stars because this is very harmful for young readers and other people, thinking this should be something to apologize for? Yeah, demote to 2.5 stars. This was an okay book, liked the representation (especially of a depressed parent) but the characters were a bit weird and the relationship dynamic of Gabs and Maya is devastating. Kind of disappointed.
*Attempts sexual abuse on maybe partner, feels entitled to physical affection on like, second date, calls partner GIRLFRIEND with no prior discussion, guilt trips partner into thinking it's their fault.
These are EXTREME red flags and the way this is handled in the book is very, very disappointing. As an asexual person I can safely say that if my girlfriend treated me like this I would be very upset and confront them for their toxic behavior. I might have to demote this to 2.5 stars because this is very harmful for young readers and other people, thinking this should be something to apologize for? Yeah, demote to 2.5 stars. This was an okay book, liked the representation (especially of a depressed parent) but the characters were a bit weird and the relationship dynamic of Gabs and Maya is devastating. Kind of disappointed.
March 29, 2022
A great middle school read from a debut author! This book will be a mirror for some students who will recognize themselves on these pages and a window for others who may have friends or family figuring out their identities. Either way, it will be a win-win. My only quibble with the book is that it may have tried to bite off a little too much - single mother, depression, trans, gay, asexual (ace), bisexual, lesbian, adopted, POC, race...it's a lot for one book. However, figuring out who you are as a teen is also a lot. medina is a wonderful storyteller whose writing will have you turning the pages for more!
One thing that really resonated with me was when the main character talked about having to check Hispanic on forms even though they were raised with a white mother and did not grow up speaking Spanish. The character, Gabriela, wishes for a box to mark adopted on the form instead of Hispanic. They know that white people see them as a person of color, but the Spanish speaking students in their school do not accept them as one their own either. At my school, we have students in the same situation, they present one way with the way they look (example, Asian, or Black or Hispanic) but they are being raised in a white family. This book made me wonder what they think when they have to check a box.
Note: I received an ARC of this title.
One thing that really resonated with me was when the main character talked about having to check Hispanic on forms even though they were raised with a white mother and did not grow up speaking Spanish. The character, Gabriela, wishes for a box to mark adopted on the form instead of Hispanic. They know that white people see them as a person of color, but the Spanish speaking students in their school do not accept them as one their own either. At my school, we have students in the same situation, they present one way with the way they look (example, Asian, or Black or Hispanic) but they are being raised in a white family. This book made me wonder what they think when they have to check a box.
Note: I received an ARC of this title.
March 17, 2024
I wanted to like this book, I truly did. However, it reminded me of a television show on PBS Kids (or a show like Dora the Explorer) that's more focused on teaching kids lessons than it is on entertaining them via the plot. In other words, it felt like it should have been a nonfiction book rather than a novel. I'm not against fiction books teaching people new things. However, that can't be the primary focus of a novel. Novels--even middle-grade ones--need to focus on the characters, the world, and the plot. Teaching needs to come secondary to all those other things.
I'm sure if this book had gone through more developmental edits (and became less focused on teaching readers), I would have liked it so much more. It had a solid basis in terms of characterization and plot. Granted, there were times when the plot wasn't as focused as it could have been--trying to fit in too many things in such a short book--but that could have also been easily fixed with just a few more drafts of this book.
I'm sure if this book had gone through more developmental edits (and became less focused on teaching readers), I would have liked it so much more. It had a solid basis in terms of characterization and plot. Granted, there were times when the plot wasn't as focused as it could have been--trying to fit in too many things in such a short book--but that could have also been easily fixed with just a few more drafts of this book.
May 9, 2022
This is an inclusive queer story about middle school kids figuring out their identities. It's overly positive in many ways including a feel-good ending. Overly positive doesn't mean this story is light, however, as Gabriela and their family and friends deal with a range of issues including bullying, harassment, depression, and a sleeping pill overdose. This makes a good next step for fans of Alex Gino books.
January 19, 2023
I loved this book and think it's a perfect middle grade book with middle schools students dealing with a lot of issues. Gabriella has a school assignment to write about her authentic self. The trouble is, she doesn't know who her authentic self is. Her body is changing in ways she doesn't understand and as an adoptee to a white mother, Gabriela, who has a Honduran birth mother, feels as though she straddles two identities, "When you're adopted, you kind of exist in between two world." I loved the friendships, the standing up for yourself, the lessons on sexuality vs. gender identity, the self discovery and acceptance, and all the trans and queer rep. But what I loved most was the exploration of a parent's depression. I think it was handled beautifully; "each day depression greeted us and each day we had a choice as to how we greeted it back." I know this is going to be an important book to a lot of my kiddos.
July 18, 2022
This book tackled so many intersections of queerness with tenderness, empathy, and humor. While the main character is coming into their own sexual orientation and gender identity, many of their explorations are supported by friends willing to guide the way. This allows readers to follow with curiosity and learn alongside Gabriella about terms like transgender, intersex, nonbinary, queer, and BIPOC. There is a mental health throughline with Gabriella's mother that builds their relationship as complex, heavy, and beautiful, something that rang true for me and I'm sure will touch many readers who have been through the same. In short, this book covers an impressive range of topics with authenticity while providing characters I never stopped rooting for. I wish I'd had a story like this when I was a teenager.
April 22, 2024
This was a solid story of developing identity. I've never read a book about a transracial adoptee with a single parent, so that was really cool! There were times when the content about identity felt pedantic, but considering the intended audience for this book, I think that's an appropriate approach. The one major issue I took with this story is that, while coming to understand her own identity, Gabriella had to ?apologize? to her girlfriend for ?leading her on??? Why would you ever say that to someone who is coming to grips with being ace, and why wasn't the inappropriateness of the response addressed in the story? Also aren't these kids like, 12?
There were a couple other issues I took with the story that other reviewers mentioned, but on the whole I think this is a solid addition to the middle grade queer lit world!
There were a couple other issues I took with the story that other reviewers mentioned, but on the whole I think this is a solid addition to the middle grade queer lit world!
June 18, 2024
A sweet coming-of-age story hindered by the fact that not a single child in this book spoke like an actual human being, let alone a middle schooler. I could understand maybe one of them talking that way, but every major character speaks like an AI's attempt at replicating progressive talking points--and to be clear, I am all here for unabashed progressive characters! But the dialogue was so clunky that it kept taking me out of the story because I'd think "no one would ever say that". Like in what world is a child saying his dad abuses him met with "we don't use ableist language in this classroom" and not pausing the class to, I don't know, do your duty as a mandated reporter? .
I did love the relationship between Gabriela and their mom, especially the way that their mother's mental health was portrayed.
I did love the relationship between Gabriela and their mom, especially the way that their mother's mental health was portrayed.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 86 reviews