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HOW TO HOLD ONTO YOUR KIDS: Key Point On How to Avoid Your Kids From Peer Orientation
Kindle Edition
Published June 21, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews
January 7, 2026
The information is 5 star worthy, I just didn't love how it was delivered.
It's definitely worth a read though!
Key Pounts
1. Peer attachment vs parental attachment is much more of a problem than people are aware of. It can have huge effects on their behavior and well-being. The current culture and society really makes it easy for children to slip into peer attachment without parents or children even being aware.
2. Peers are bad substitutes for parents. without a safe, stable attachment, kids can't mature social or emotionally. They shut down emotionally and become subject to violent behaviors towards themselves and others. they are more susceptible to substance abuse.
3. He talks about how to bring them back from being peer oriented by interrupting the peer attached relationship in a way that is the least confrontational.
4. how to prevent peer attachment in the first place by being intentional. It's about putting time and effort into the relationship in small and big ways. making sure we check back in with them after a heavy peer interaction.
5. peer oriented kids tend to be drawn to peer oriented kids. while adult oriented kids are drawn to adult oriented kids
my experience reading it was half enlightened and half annoyed. I felt like he took a long time to get the point. the examples he gave seem to be pretty extreme and I wish he'd given more information about how to spot peer orientation as it is developing rather than it's after affects.
I don't like that it seems to make peer attachment the blame for everything. It doesn't even mention ADHD, ADS or other disorders that could affect behavior.
With all the extreme examples, the prevention is surprisingly simple. really all the little things we know families are built on like quality time, meals, etc. he says to focus on relationships.
It's definitely worth a read though!
Key Pounts
1. Peer attachment vs parental attachment is much more of a problem than people are aware of. It can have huge effects on their behavior and well-being. The current culture and society really makes it easy for children to slip into peer attachment without parents or children even being aware.
2. Peers are bad substitutes for parents. without a safe, stable attachment, kids can't mature social or emotionally. They shut down emotionally and become subject to violent behaviors towards themselves and others. they are more susceptible to substance abuse.
3. He talks about how to bring them back from being peer oriented by interrupting the peer attached relationship in a way that is the least confrontational.
4. how to prevent peer attachment in the first place by being intentional. It's about putting time and effort into the relationship in small and big ways. making sure we check back in with them after a heavy peer interaction.
5. peer oriented kids tend to be drawn to peer oriented kids. while adult oriented kids are drawn to adult oriented kids
my experience reading it was half enlightened and half annoyed. I felt like he took a long time to get the point. the examples he gave seem to be pretty extreme and I wish he'd given more information about how to spot peer orientation as it is developing rather than it's after affects.
I don't like that it seems to make peer attachment the blame for everything. It doesn't even mention ADHD, ADS or other disorders that could affect behavior.
With all the extreme examples, the prevention is surprisingly simple. really all the little things we know families are built on like quality time, meals, etc. he says to focus on relationships.
December 3, 2022
Eye opening and thought provoking! This book has changed my perspective on so many aspects of parenting. As someone who has been focusing on raising my kids with attachment in mind, this has been a game changer. I feel like it is an important read for anyone who has the goal of raising kids with secure attachment. I am motivated to begin examining and implementing change within mine, and my children’s lives.
May 20, 2025
I like most of this book. It is really helpful as a parent to an only child who may have otherwise idolized peers due to not being able to give my son a sibling. Love the focus on the multi generational family influence and really glad I took the time to read this.
I will likely read it again in the years to come as my son gets older.
I will likely read it again in the years to come as my son gets older.
Displaying 1 - 3 of 3 reviews