Why Am I Like This?: How to Break Cycles, Heal from Trauma, and Restore Your Faith

by Kobe Campbell

Why does our past pain continue to affect our present? Though many of us can point to patterns of brokenness in our lives, we don’t know why they're there. No matter how hard we work, we can’t seem to outrun the very things that break our hearts. That's because our everyday setbacks are rooted in our unaddressed wounds. In Why Am I Like This? seminary-trained, licensed trauma therapist Kobe Campbell helps us understand why it’s so hard to break these patterns as she offers us a deeper understanding of how our past shapes our present. With tender wisdom, rare vulnerability, and profound honesty, Kobe reminds each reader that they’re not alone, empowering them to step into healing with evidence-based, faith-filled coping skills and resources. In Why Am I Like This?, you will: Kobe marries theological insight with therapeutic principles to give readers the tools and insights needed to begin their journey of restoration.

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Christian, Faith, Psychology, Audiobook

224 pages, Paperback

Published April 4, 2023

About the author

Kobe Campbell is an award-winning licensed trauma therapist, author, speaker, and entertainment consultant. With a kind, compassionate, and energetic spirit, she helps people find the truest versions of themselves under the pain that they’ve endured through therapy, intensives, speaking, retreats, and organizational training. Kobe specializes in working with clients in public-facing professions (providing therapy for actors, singers, athletes, and public figures) as they process their trauma in the midst of their creative work and public visibility.

Kobe has has several media appearances including Good Morning, America Good Day Charlotte on Fox 46, QC Morning on ABC'S WBTV and more. She’s been featured in publications such as Essence, Buzzfeed, Bustle, Parade and Brit + Co.

Kobe’s consulting clients have included Wake Forest's MBA Program, Boston Museum of Fine Arts, Advent Coworking, Belk Corporate, the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and some of the fastest growing churches in the nation. Kobe’s counseling clientele includes professional athletes, actors, singers, entertainers and Fortune 500 executives.

Named one of Charlotte's Most Influential Women by Charlotte Lately Magazine and awarded as the Rising Star Under 30 by WILMA magazine., Kobe is a decorated and highly sought speaker, consultant, and mental health expert.

Kobe is the owner of The Healing Circle Therapy & Wellness Center in Charlotte North Carolina where she and her clinicians provide in-person and virtual therapy and coaching. When Kobe isn't teaching and training, she's spending time with her two sons or working on her own creative projects She looks forward to sharing her expertise with anyone willing to learn and grow.

Reviews

[Patricia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Relatable, easy to read, yet deep and profound. Kobe so eloquently describes the heart of God for our pain and the path to healing. A great read for anyone wrestling with hurt and how God may feel about it. Will be recommending to friends and clients!

[Jordan McCallister · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most incredible books I’ve EVER read. It marries Christianity, healing, and trauma in ways I’ve been seeking for too long. I think actually everybody should read this. She’s sound clinically and is just a human. I never listen to books but listening to her felt like a friend. I hope it blesses you too.

[arianna · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is such a tender, encouraging, necessary breath of fresh air. Kobe has a masterful way with words that makes her compassion tangible. will definitely be revisiting the wisdom within these pages in the future

[Julia Prodger · Rating 3 out of 5]

I first heard about this book through a conversation the author, Kobe Campbell, had with Jess Connolly on Jess’s podcast. The conversation was WONDERFUL, discussing the importance of therapy in Christian spaces—and actual therapy, not Biblical or Nouthetic Counseling—so, I was really excited to read this book.

I think the main takeaway from this book, after reading it, is that it is a GREAT book for those who are curious about therapy and haven’t experienced it, as well as curious about how therapy and psychology intersect with the Christian faith.

However, the intersection of psychology and Christianity has been a favorite interest of mine for a LONG time. Getting a bachelor’s in psychology from a Christian liberal arts university also made this book very….basic. I did learn some things which was fascinating, but overall, Kobe’s work wasn’t as groundbreaking as I had hoped for. And I was really hoping for something more!

That being said, I think the target audience this is for (Christians who are afraid of counseling/psychology) is perfect—this would be a GREAT book for anyone unfamiliar with the above topics, and I’m so glad it was written for them!!

[Morgan · Rating 5 out of 5]

There were moments I was choking back tears during Kobe’s deeply honest narration of her past circumstances. I am so grateful for her willingness and bravery to be so vulnerable in this book.

Every single Christian needs to read this book as it shares how therapy and Christianity work hand in hand together to help us walk in freedom in Christ. I learned about this book from listening to Jess Connolly’s podcast episode featuring Kobe Campbell (highly recommend!).

After reading this book, I was left with such a deep appreciation and awe of God and how he cares for us. Kobe’s miraculous personal testimony in the beginning of the book is one that has stuck with me.

[Whitney Vandenheuvel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Comforting, wise, really solid

[M Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really struggled with this book. Starting with the positive side, I appreciated that therapy and mental health is taken seriously and this wasn't just a "pray it away" kind of guide. However, even as a Christian, I was uncomfortable with some of the stories and parallels drawn between faith and therapy. I also wish medication and its importance was mentioned. I think this book will speak to some, but is definitely not for all.

Thanks to Librofm and Thomas Nelson for the complimentary audiobook. My thoughts are my own.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

There are some good morsels in this book but overall the Christian rhetoric was a bit too much for my personal taste.

[Madison Hickman · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so good! It took longer than expected to read due to so many things popping up in life. I loved bringing the Lord into the trauma and what that practically looks like and not keeping the two apart. You can be a Christian and have intense trauma and need to go to therapy and get help. You can have intense trauma, be a Christian, and do EMDR. You also can be a Christian and not have intense trauma. This book walk beautifully through stories of different people and walks alongside the reader through their own journey of trauma and walking with the Lord.

[Hannah Stovall · Rating 5 out of 5]

gosh, so good. I really went into this thinking it would be a useful ministry resource and then she got all the way into my business—the nerve.

She covered so much ground, so well and with great vulnerability. She was far more generous with her own story and caring for ours than she had to be and I’m grateful for it. She clearly explained the science of things but her focus was over and above on God and the truth of scripture. Will probably be revisiting, will definitely be recommending.

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written and a much needed book for this time. I enjoyed the fresh perspective Kobe brought to attention on faith and mental health. I am filled with hope and affirmed on knowing that I am not alone in thinking “why am I like this?” This book is exactly what leaders need to read and be aware of as they pursue to help others.

[Addison Sorensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

I may as well have highlighted every sentence in this book. It’s so, so uplifting to read for any human longing for healing. She not only has expertise, but is able to communicate it in a way that is tangible. My soul was refreshed by this book. Thank you, Kobe!

[Momma Leighellen’s Book Nook · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Will I ever be free?”

I started crying before the introduction was even finished! What a powerful, honest little book.

If you are like me and struggle with unhealthy cycles triggered by your past, this book will help you feel seen and give you hope to keep going. To get up + try again even if you still don’t know what the heck you are doing.

I myself have found healing and heartbreak using EMDR and Somatic Experiencing. I believe in the balance of theology and therapy and love how this book marries the two, sharing both her own + her client stories.

"Trauma distorts our perception of ourselves, our reality, and the God who created us. We create patterns of hiding, suppressing feelings, and only engage with people when in a good mood. It’s hard to let go of patterns that are both self protective and self destructive. It’s easy to run from our problems when the world rewards the busyness that distracts us from seeing the true state of our hearts."

This book is short but so thoughtful and insightful. She writes both personally and professionally in a relatable way that’s easy to follow. I tabbed the HECK out of this one and will probably come back to it again and again for more wisdom when I need it.

"There is no space for creativity when you are consumed with fear."

Kobe gives readers the tools and insights needed to begin their journey of restoration. I loved that she honored her heritage by using Ghanaian names throughout. It’s such a small, powerful way to break down one more barrier to getting help.

"The question we need to ask ourselves is 'What situations wired me to respond this way?'"

Thank you @wpublishing @kobecampbell @tlcbooktours @tlcdiversity for sending along this book. I also received the audiobook from @librofm and can highly recommend it, as the author narrates it herself. It also comes with a digital download PDF to use for going deeper with your own journey.

If you want to see more of what I'm reading each day, follow me on Instagram
To watch my monthly updates and author chats, check out my Book Tube channel
To read my in depth reviews and see author Q&A's, head to my blog
All audio books are from Libro FM to support my local bookstore, Boulder Bookstore.

[Vida Ekhator · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was recommended following reading The Garden within by Dr Anita Philips. I am so so glad I bought this book because it has helped me to find and be at peace with my past, the things I have been through and overall with myself. I have been able to clearly articulate how I feel and how to process this without feeling judgement, overwhelmed emotionally and physically or emotionally drained or panicked. It has helped me regain my confidence in finding safety, healthily regulate my thinking and better make decisions that cultivate my healing, rest, balance and wholeness. I particularly loved the way Kobe so powerfully articulated God’s response to one’s trauma…”tender loving care” and how we in learning to accept this possibility of truth brings freedom from every lie we have told ourselves to find safety. This was a much needed read; exactly what my heart needed to hear and I am grateful to Kobe for writing this. It was challenging but guided. The scriptures she highlights brought meaning to what I was working through and God being right there with me. The exercises very practical yet extremely insightful and impacting (Personal favourites: The breath prayer & the positive core beliefs checklist). This book is a must read for all but especially those nervous of seeking therapy or speaking about your trauma(s). A very gentle and carefully empowering first step towards getting the help you need guided by Gods perspective towards your healing journey. Thank you so very much Kobe.

[Bren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tender and honest. I appreciate a book that can blend aspects of belief/faith with expertise in a field (like therapy) without narrow-mindedness, or an agenda. (I tend to be very skeptical when "faith" is woven into things...). And while I don't align 100% on Campbell's beliefs, her professionalism and heart make this a welcomed, healing read. Much of her work has the potential to heal embedded, damaging theology. She portrays a true God of empathy, not anger. She has the credentials and respect without agenda to craft her words and care into hope. Seminary trained, and licensed in trauma therapy, Campbell normalizes our experiences, and helps us understand how unresolved trauma can surface in our lives and patterns. This is a helpful resource in my work on chaplaincy, but also personal and profound for anyone human. I think it could be a great resource for Christians who have been incorrectly shamed into thinking they should seek therapy, because "God is all they need"- a dangerous, and really an unChristian perspective. I tend to avoid "Christian" books, and tend to be skeptical of therapists who advertise themselves as "Christian". But Campbell is authentic, vulnerable, and open, even while using biblical narratives and faith revelations to inform her work. Campbell does an excellent job explaining what trauma truly means, how it is multi-faceted, and personal. All trauma is trauma. Good read.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

This will be a book I read and reread. Kobe has packed so many resources and perspective shifts in one place - it balances a biblical foundation with scientific evidence of how the mind works to work to heal traumas. As a Christian, this is the resource I’ve wanted for many years and I’m so grateful and thankful to Kobe for her time and efforts in putting this together. I cannot get over it. I’ve recommended this over and over to all my friends, and I wanted to do it here too.

This book has case studies of clients, but I never felt triggered by the way Kobe shared their stories which I appreciated. This book is truly a treasure. I listened to this book, it was read by Kobe and I highly recommend the audiobook- it is brilliant. That being said, I’ll be purchasing a paper copy to have also. This is worth having in print in my library.

[Grace Leuenberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book came along at just the right time for me. Kobe writes like a trusted friend, and her words truly cut through some of the chaos of my brain and extracted hope and healing. I feel so grateful for some of the ideas and thoughts she stirred up!


“The good news is, there is nothing God can't and won't use to pave the path of abundance for you. The dreams of your heart are not God taunting you but are personal prophecies of better days to come, no matter how old you are and no matter what's happened to you. The identity that was buried under fear, shame, and unworthiness is being dug up, like a treasure in a field, one worth selling all the riches of the world for.”

[Lindsey Jeffers · Rating 5 out of 5]

best book on trauma I’ve read

Coming from someone on a healing journey, this book was an amazing resource and encouragement. I liked how it had a mixture of knowledge and resources - teaching about the brain and trauma and how that relates to Jesus, while also teaching tools and ways to process that trauma.
SO many gold nugget truths in these pages. I can’t wait to read it again, this time in a book study!
Thank you Kobe for your vulnerability, sharing your experiences, and for helping me in my journey through your book! I’d give it 100 stars if I could ⭐️

[Michelle Castaneda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why Am I Like This? How to Break Cycles, Heal from Trauma, and Restore Your Faith by Kobe Campbell is a raw, truth-filled book. This book starts with the author’s own story of being at the end of her rope and how God intervened in her story. From there, she examines trauma from many angles and brings God’s redemption into the story as well. Great book overall. I received a digital copy of this book from the publisher with no obligations. These opinions are entirely my own.

[Abby Bates · Rating 5 out of 5]

Most incredible book I have read!!!!!!

- the spirit of the lord is working through Kobe with this book!!! It is filled with such rich truth and wisdom. I cried almost every time reading this book. It is a milestone in my healing journey. Thank you Jesus for Kobe and for the story you have given her. Thank you Jesus she has walked with you while writing this book and for the many lives it will touch.
- go read this book and be blessed

[Caitlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

I needed this book. I’ve honestly asked the question, “Why am I like this?” often enough that when I saw this book, I immediately read the description to find out what it was about. Kobe Campbell’s story and strategies are just what I needed. If you are also dealing with trauma of some kind, I would suggest reading this book. Intertwined with scripture and the truth of God’s love for us makes this book powerful and helpful to someone, like myself, that has trauma in their past.

[BooksandBudgets · Rating 5 out of 5]

As with a previous rating, I originally purchased this book via Apple books and before I completed the reading, I purchased physical copy. Even though the author is speaking of a different type of mental health condition, I still felt like she was talking to me about me through her experiences.

This is another recommendation I highly suggest if you are seeking to find out ways to heal from the trauma you have suffered.

Again, you are seen, heard and felt!!

[OrigiNell Martins · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel seen. The way the last few chapters described my current season made me realize I wasn’t alone, nor crazy. The transparency in storytelling with the therapy background and resources allows you to dig deeper. This book helped answer a lot of questions I had. Must read for anyone who has dealt personally with trauma or dealing with trauma survivors. It opens you up to be more kind and understanding because the experiences are not all the same.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book took me a lot longer to read because I would come home from counseling my own clients and would feel like I’m jumping right back into session. It’s a short read but I wish it was a little more practical and more thoroughly explained. Head and heart connections are sometimes the hardest to make with clients. I have been told EMDR is the missing puzzle piece but I appreciate the modalities she offered to get there aside from EMDR while incorporating spirituality.

[Bianca Hallmon · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautifully written book! It’s one I can appreciate as a fellow therapist. I love the real tools in the book, the authenticity of the authors own healing journey and the use of her clients testimonies. It is well written and especially perfect for that person who loves Christ and wants to experience His healing presence. 100 percent recommend and thankful for Kobe Campbell, I feel motivated in my work!

[Carole Duff · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author, a seminary-trained, licensed trauma therapist, weaves personal and client stories, Biblical insights, and therapeutic principles to guide readers toward healing and restoration, so that, rather than coping with and distracting ourselves from our pain, we can live in our authentic identity as children of God.

[Olivia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’ve been avoiding reading this book because therapy books tend to leave me feeling HEAVY. I really enjoyed Dr Anita Phillips book but after finishing the book I just felt so weighted down. Kobe’s book has a similar vibe of mixing therapy and Christian faith but I really enjoyed the ease of her stories/client stories and the therapeutic activities she shared.

[Colette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerfully enlightening!
Woooooooo! It is such a riveting and powerful read! Thank you Kobe for telling your story; how it led you to your God given gift of becoming a therapist; and providing authentic voice to the power of leaning in. As a therapist personally healing authentically and in the practice of healing others Just Maginificently done!

[LaTisha Elliott · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an amazing piece of work. There are many favorite quotes I have from this book. One that stands out (paraphrased) is that we may not extend mercy to others because we haven’t extended it to ourselves. Also, the wounds of our past helps create our wisdom of today. God bless Kobe for her spiritual and professional expertise. Well done.

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life changing. I wasn't sure how to begin my healing journey. How I could possibly reach into the depths of trauma I didnt even know the root of. This has helped me identity the root of so many of things I deal with and begin to address and heal. I'm extremely thankful for this book and I recommend it to anyone on their healing journey, no matter where you are in it.