Quest For Love: Memoir of a Child Sex Slave

by Anneke Lucas

This memoir invites the reader into the heart and mind of a young Belgian girl as she shares events out of one year of her life, her voice supported by the vocabulary and understanding of the adult author. The child’s circumstances are brutal; she is being sold by a mentally ill mother into a murderous pedophile network. She desperately clings to the belief that in spite of all appearances, true love does exist, and searches for the faintest sign of it in the midst of hell. When her blind love for her mother is transferred onto a charming perpetrator, she experiences romantic passion, but is soon cast into abject betrayal and violence, ultimately leading to her certain demise. In the darkest of circumstances, a near-death experience shows her the truth underlying her phenomenal world, and she is given a glimpse of that great love for which she is so desperately seeking. Extreme, organized child abuse is horrifying, and often impossible to contemplate. And yet, acknowledging the reality of darkness is the first step towards healing. This account offers both the raw, cold facts as well as the resilience and grace from the victim’s perspective, revealing that the darkest of nightmares is rarely just that, but commensurate with gifts of light. This ten-year old’s journey suggests that heinous suffering can unlock hidden spiritual treasures of transcendence and unconditional love.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Politics

300 pages, Paperback

Published June 21, 2022

Reviews

[Jonathan Lodato · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insane read

I've read many books about SRA and I know people who've veen subjected to similar traumatic experiences at religous schools and boarding schools but I've never read a first hand account of SRA.
The truth is so horrible that most people would rather believe none of this exists. Similarly to how the authors and the authors mother blocked out memories and reality, most peoples minds repress the pain. Only some of us face it.
Very insightful in detailing the emotions and psychology of abuse and abusers. The author is very descript and courageously honest which makes the entire book a key resource in understanding all of these power dynamics and how traumatic experiences affect the mind.
The experiences are detailed so vividly and thoroughly that you could argue its genuineness. However the experiences are also so poignant that a person would never forget them. This book will definitely stay with me for years to come.
The book ends with a plee that love is the answer but I'm not so convinced. I hate these people who have control of the masses and no amount of love or forgiveness will ever change their nature. Anyone who hurts children is irredeemable.
In some ways I could find myself being even angry at the authors responses but it is easy to forgive her as she was an innocent. She did the world a great service and while she was abused herseld she decided not to perpetuate abuse. She even details being groomed for a seat at the celebrity table. Although only a child she chose deadly defiance. She rejected all the abuse to carry on doing whats right(for the most part) So what are the excuses of the elites?
I am reminded of the story of the scorpion and the frog. If you're unfamiliar the frog decides to help the scorpion cross the river on request but half way across it stings him and they both drown. As theyre sinking the frog asks why and the scorpion answers "because I'm a scorpion, its my nature". The moral is that despite the best intentions you cannot change the nature of certain things or people.
I tend to agree that the perpetrators are also victims in a way. However we are all confronted with choices to make and beyond love and hate or any personal feelings there is right and wrong, an innate sense of justice that, in my opinion, is from divinity and present in all of us. I think reading this book is the right thing to do if you share that sense of justice and it's the right thing to do if you care about seeing that justice realized.

[Hayley · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is not only a memoir, it's also a profound offering of a philosophy that i think could only come to the author this deeply through her experiencing and digesting and healing from the hells she lived through.

it's a philosophy that can change the world. to understand each other, to understand ourselves. both our deepest and most disturbing dysfunction AND our deepest capacity for high healing and evolution. the worst of us and the best of us. this is a powerful book because it covers these vast extremes of human experience and makes sense of them existing in the world, and in us.

i find anneke to be such a powerful, inspiring person. the courage she has is just beyond anything i've seen before. it reignites my hope for humanity and is fuel for me to continue on my own path of inner work. as i've heard her say in interviews, the world wasn't open or ready for her story before, but now there is increasing receptivity.

this book is a beacon and reading it has changed me.

i'm looking forward to reading her next book, which i believe will be about her healing methodology/modality.

thank you, anneke.

[sirazum · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anneke Lucas. She had to endure all these at the age of 10?...I was never so disturbed by reading something.

The fact that this book NEVER got to be a mainstream/surface level book proves the point of the book where she said, the powerful celebrities and politicians will do anything to keep child sex trafficking ESPECIALLY SRA(Satanic Ritual Abuse) out of sight.
She also only revealed the names only after most of them died.

This reads more like a Novel than a Memoir.

When her mother was taking her to the orgies every weekend for money despite knowing what will happen, back in the time The notorious young and handsome Belgian gangster Patrick Haemers(1952-1993) takes her under his "protection". For six months she didn't have to get physical with anyone because he "loved"her so much that he "protected" her. For that child who was only 11 and was sexually abused for 6 hours every week, he was all she could ask for, all she ever wanted.

But is it really "protection" or he is just also one of them but worse?

Even if you don't read non-fiction you will be able get through it easily. Despite being devastatingly painful read, I wasn't able to put the book down.

Please Please keep in mind it is about her her experience with abuse and is very descriptive about the abuse.

I watched interviews of Anneke Lucas...always thought she actually couldn't say a lot of things because of YT censorship. Recently came to know she had written a book about her experience. She didn't hold back here. All scenes are extremely graphic and disturbing.

[Ewa · Rating 5 out of 5]

nie jestem w stanie opisać słowami tego, co przeczytałam, więc po prostu napiszę, że polecam przeczytać, ale MOCNE TRIGGER WARNING, bo to nie jest książka dla osób bardzo wrażliwych.

[Alicia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I watched a clip of Anneke's story online and found her book. Difficult and upsetting read. Her memoir offers insights into the Belgium network of pedophile rings and the political powers involved. Truly horrifying.

[Archie Stocker · Rating 5 out of 5]

Without a doubt the most disturbing book I’ve ever read. Anneke is a brilliant writer who conveys her story and reflections with precision and clarity. Her lucid style stands in striking contrast to the darkness and depravity of the experiences she recounts, making the testimony all the more powerful.

Quest For Love is predominantly about Anneke’s relationship with Patrick Haemers, a Belgian gangster who’s incredibly abusive but also eventually rescues her from the cult. So, for those that know more about Anneke’s story, this all takes part after she’s been dropped by David Rockefeller - the “Big Shot”, and the international level of the cult. In this sense, it doesn’t really go into detail about the organisation itself or her time at the international level where she underwent mind control training. Despite this, it’s still very graphic; Anneke doesn’t hold back in describing what she went through. It’s one thing to be accustomed to the idea of elite pedophilia, but to actually have the realities described in detail is another thing entirely.

I appreciated Anneke’s insight into the psyche of the perpetrators and how this drives their need to abuse others. Understanding how these people operate is of enormous importance to all of us, given that they shape the world in their image.

Although not a main feature of the book, I found the importance ascribed to psychic phenomena to be very interesting, this quote in particular intrigued me: “The Belgians are a local chapter of the global network, and Polo and his friends differ from the big leaguers in that they generally don’t read my mind. I can freely have my private, critical thoughts about them, whereas it would instantly endanger my life to have an unflattering thought about the most powerful global networkers in their presence.” Polo is the name Anneke knew the leader of the Belgian chapter by. His real name was Paul Vanden Boeynants, Minister of Defence and two-time Belgian Prime Minister.

The end of the book was my favourite part, as it brings a hint of spiritual tempering to all the violence that came before. It by no means cancels it out though; it’s still an incredibly harrowing book.

Overall, Quest For Love is a profoundly challenging but essential read. Anneke’s honesty, insight, and courage in recounting her experiences highlight the depravity and dark workings of some of the most secret and powerful organisations in the world, while also illuminating the resilience of the human spirit. I would recommend it to anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the reality of satanic ritual abuse.

[Candace S · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was very disturbing and graphic, it is unbelievable how much evil can be in the world. It has been over a month since I finished it. I have young daughters of my own and get so angry thinking about what has been done to young children by disgusting men.

[Donnie]

This was a horrible book. Only made it to chapter 5 out of 19 chapters and read the epilogue. It reads like a novel along the lines of 50 shades of Grey instead of a memoir. Very graphic with TMI. Although I think the author is telling the truth she is not doing it from a 10-year-old viewpoint but from a 40-year-old perspective. I also had the feeling that she may have been transposing suggestions from her therapist. She does not name names in the book and the timeline is off. In an interview on YouTube, you can witness her distress and the results of the abuse, but I am skeptical about her accusations against people who are dead and the accuracy of her child's memories versus her adult identification. It is very sad and heartrending to think that she had to endure such abuse, and it is reflected in her life. I do not recommend it.

[Mel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don't doubt for a second that Anneke is a victim of sexual assault. Doing some research online, I can't find anything that corroborates with the story she is recounting. Even though some of the names are real, and I'm able to look them up, nothing links them directly to her. It's hard to believe that this is a 100% true story when there aren't other victims who've come forward to support her on this.

Some parts of the book are eyebrow raising, as they are way too detailed for a very young girl to remember. Towards the end, the author describes some sort of dagger she uses to kill another young girl. There is in fact a whole page describing the dagger, from the material it's made of, to it's shape, down to the size of it being "10 inches". I doubt a young child under the age of 12 could describe such things in detail.

Again I'm not denying the fact she is a SA survivor. But I have a hard time being invested in the story, if I have to question the truth about the storyline. If she would've said that the book is based on a true story, it would've made it easier to read.

Lastly, I find the book to have way too many detailed sex scenes with a minor, I'd say more than half, which is quite off-putting. Seems like they were added for the shock value of it. I would've preferred to have a storyline that focuses less on the sex acts.

[Bianca · Rating 2 out of 5]

It’s presented as a memoir but reads like a novel.. at times it felt more like I was reading fiction, a story about a child having sex with the same person over and over and over. The whole book is basically centered around that relationship with the young man.

He abuses her, rapes her, but yet she’s still in love with him? Come on.. all of this just felt off. I’m not saying things didn’t happen to her but I truly think her memories have been distorted or misremembered.

And for a book that claims to expose secret elite pedophile rings (which is the reason i picked it up), there’s little to no information on that 🤷🏻‍♀️ it’s just a “memoir” about her abusive relationship with an older rich guy who goes to these orgies with children.

A lot of scenes also just seem too unrealistic to be true.

[araiza · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential to one’s enlightenment. Truth is the o my way to move forward as a society. If you are brave enough to hold space for her story you are giving victims around the world justice that our institutions and government have not. I have never heard of a story like this. I would say this story is one of a kind but in reality there are thousands if not millions like it.

[Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

She was definitely objectified throughout the whole book by all the men in her life, you can see just how destructive the relationship between Patrick and her is, very emotionally and physically abusive and her mother was also abusive.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the honor of interviewing this author. It is an extremely tough book to read because of the nature of her story. The healing she finds is absolutely incredible and a testament to her grit and goodness.

[Jorinde · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book definitely comes with a ton of trigger warnings.

If you can read it, however, and stay with it,it will change the way you view our world and the way it is run. It did for me.

[Reader · Rating 1 out of 5]

A Memoir That Romanticizes Trauma and Leaves Important Questions Unanswered

Anneke Lucas’s memoir, A Quest for Love, attempts to recount her survival as a victim of child trafficking, but I found it deeply unsettling for several reasons—not because of the horrors it depicts, but because of the way it frames abuse, omits key details, and leans into troubling tropes that feel more like dark fantasy than a realistic account of trauma.

The memoir focuses heavily on Anneke’s relationship with a 21-year-old perpetrator. This dynamic is disturbingly romanticized, with the abuser framed as someone who “fell in love” with her and ultimately sacrificed his life to save her. This trope—a handsome, powerful man rescuing the girl he groomed and abused—feels like a dark romance fantasy that has no place in a memoir about child exploitation. It’s important to acknowledge that in real trafficking networks, children are dehumanized and treated as liabilities. The idea that Anneke’s abuser saw her as “special” and chose to save her at the cost of his own life is not only implausible but also undermines the very reality the book claims to expose.

The book also introduces a supposed “mind control program” that Lucas says gave her psychic abilities to read men’s minds, desires, and fears. However, this element is not explored in depth, leaving it unclear how these abilities were meant to function or why they weren’t used to navigate her relationship with her abuser. If this program was designed to give her power over others, what made her abuser an exception? These questions remain unanswered, and the lack of detail makes this part of the narrative feel disconnected from the rest of the story.

Adding to the frustration are the glaring gaps in the narrative. Lucas briefly mentions being trafficked through the involvement of a cleaning lady, but provides no details about how this happened or the arrangements her mother made. She also mentions her younger brother in passing but never elaborates on his experiences or whereabouts during key events. For instance, when she describes being drugged by her mother so her abuser could also have sex with her mother, her brother’s absence is never addressed. Where was he during all of this? Did he know what was happening? These omissions leave the story feeling incomplete and raise serious questions about the reliability of the narrative.

The memoir also fails to maintain a critical distance from the abuse it describes. Instead of framing her relationship with her abuser as an example of grooming and psychological manipulation, Anneke Lucas repeatedly refers to it as “love”, “lovemaking” and “savage sex.” The language used, combined with the romanticized portrayal of her abuser, creates a deeply troubling narrative that does not align with the experiences of most trafficking survivors.

Finally, I find it deeply concerning that this book was published with such a framing. The romanticization of abuse, coupled with the sensationalized descriptions of violence and exploitation, risks appealing to the wrong audience. This is not an honest or empowering depiction of survival—it’s a story that could easily be misread as a dark fantasy rather than a serious account of trafficking.

While I don’t doubt Anneke Lucas’s trauma or survival, I do question the way her story is told and presented. Memoirs on such difficult topics carry a responsibility to educate and bring awareness in a way that respects survivors and does not glamorize abuse. Unfortunately, this book fails to meet that standard, leaving me deeply unsettled and disappointed.

[Joseph Knecht · Rating 4 out of 5]

The most surprising fact about this book is that the abused was still in love with her abuser, despite all the abuse. If you overlook all the violence and gore, the book becomes a book of romance with a tragic ending.

Much of the abuse is described in great detail, sometimes accompanied by pictures of scars 40 years after the fact. For those who are curious what kind of atrocities are described in the book, here is a short list: people hunting for kids with guns and killing children, torture, cannibalism where kids are given parts of humans to eat, all sorts of sexual perversions, pedophilia, including a scene where an abuser cuts the knee of a child, drinks the blood and is proudly displaying this scene infront of random unlookers. There are scenes where children are forced to kill other children.

The interpretation of Anneke is correct, that only hurt people hurt other people. Her primary abuser was her mother, who, instead of loving her, gave her away to these people to torture her. The mother was afraid of her daughter's innocence and tried to take that away from her because someone had taken her innocence a long time ago.

And her lover, Patrick, who was stabbed in the back by his father due to an incest relationship, ended up stabbing and torturing many people. But in the end, he was able to do at least one good action to redeem himself by letting Anneke go and be free.

Very personal memoir. The only thing missing is further reflection on the psychology of the people involved. Perhaps this can be covered in another book.

Some quotes from the book:

The most insecure and immature men need power the most, because they are the most deadened.

Once again, it seems that power is obtained through theft of love, and love is the energy which the powerless give to the powerful to obtain love, and that neither the power nor the love is real.

Not allowed my own thoughts, I become the materialization of their projection, complete with the thoughts and feelings they want from me. I have been trained to be a “wild French sex machine,”

Essence, truth, love—everything substantial exists on a plane other than the physical, and the underlying laws of nature and human actions determine life from that invisible realm. The training had me forcibly connect through the ether so as to read men’s deepest desires, to detect their deepest fear and nurture their emotional wounds.

The powerful fear their love (weakness) as much as the powerless fear their power (badness), and fear ensnares everyone in their roles. The powerless want love, so, like children, they give it. The powerful take it, and, like adults, use it. True love is love with power, and true power is power with love.

To one who knows no love, nothing seems real except himself and his power.

Normalizing pedophilia is part of a greater plan to centralize power and control people, devised and pushed by emotionally infantile psychopaths who would rather brainwash the entire population into emulating them than to face their own childhood trauma.

To anyone who has never experienced real personal growth, such a path must seem crazy, and my story and healing must seem baffling or unbelievable. The tide of the world takes us outside of ourselves, asking us to do, to perform, and to climb.

[Hot Mess Sommelière ~ Caro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Put them on blast 👀

Former PM of Belgium Paul van den Boeynants (charged with fraud but all charges dropped and forgiven, lived happily ever after)

Murderer, robber, rapist Patrick Haemers (was Jeffrey Epstein'd)

Sabine Michielsen (the evil trafficking mother) (lived happily ever after)

Michel Nihoul (should've been charged in relation to the Dutroux serial rape and murder case of children but wasn't and lived happily ever after)

David Rockefeller (named in the book as "Big Shot" and recently identified by AL in an interview) (lived happily ever after)



I believe that people would still be called a liar and a fraud if she had filmed the whole thing and posted it on YT for everyone to see.

My take on the matter is that no one would write such a deeply unflattering, horrible book about themselves to ... grift? Flex? I don't even know what people think this is motivated by. Also the memories in this book are something you can't make up, it's like reading a memoir by a genocide survivor.


Do I recommend this to anyone? Only if you think you can stomach it. It was really awful and personal.

[Sheida Haghighatjoo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lucas, a survivor of an elite child sex trafficking network in Belgium, writes with clarity and restraint. Her account avoids sensationalism; instead, she focuses on how the trauma shaped her internal world. The book is an exploration of how those early patterns repeated in adult relationships and how she slowly, often painfully, began to undo them. Lucas’ insights are valuable not only for survivors of abuse but for anyone who has struggled to understand their emotional patterns throughout life and in relationships.

I made the mistake of reading this book in one sitting. I don't recommend that as the emotional toll can be quite significant. There were moments when I had to put the book down just to breathe. Lucas doesn’t just recount what happened to her. She takes you inside the long, slow, and often exhausting process of healing from the trauma.

For those willing to engage with its emotional weight, and for those who were left unsettled or searching for clarity in the wake of the 1989 Dutroux case, Quest for Love is a profound and necessary read.

[Photolusi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very intense, heartbreaking, shocking and yet very important book to read.
Anneke's writing is very sincere and honest and it allows you to fully emerge into her story, into the terror of her early childhood experiences and pain. And you are fully there with her, page by page, feeling her pain and hoping that the light will soon arise, the tortures will end and she will be able to find and feel the love she so desperately is craving for as a simple innocent child.

I personally admire her strength, intelligence and the sense of dignity starting from early age.

I will definitely recommend this book to everyone. The darkness has to be known so we can defeat it with our light powered by knowledge. The darkness of the world surrounding us ultimately starts within us, and has to be healed by identifying it.
“No tree, it is said, can grow to heaven unless its roots reach down to hell.” - Carl Jung

[zogador · Rating 5 out of 5]

After Reading A Nation Under Blackmail by Whitney Webb, I was searching for more insight into the global network of sex crimes against children. This book is the most devastating and disturbing account of horrific abuse conceivable. It's absolutely incredible that Anneke managed to survive the ordeal, and furthermore has the courage speak up.

What was most surprising, is her ability to offer insight into the motivations and mentality of the perpetrators. Somehow, despite experiencing the most damaging kind of childhood, she has transcended the abuse with acceptance and embraced healing, to shine the light of truth on a topic which most people don't even want to acknowledge. Readers who are brave enough to join her in the darkness of her past, will emerge with a new understanding of the world and the spirit of survival.

[Lucas · Rating 5 out of 5]

Quest For Love: Memoir of a Child Sex Slave by Anneke Lucas is a harrowing, unflinchingly raw account of survival that grips the reader from the first page and never lets go. Lucas recounts her unimaginable childhood as a victim of human trafficking and ritual abuse with a clarity and courage that both devastates and inspires. The prose is hauntingly poetic, weaving a narrative that transforms unbearable pain into a testament of resilience and the desperate search for love amidst unimaginable darkness. Even if the entire story were fictional, it would still merit a solid 4 out of 5 for its gripping storytelling and emotional depth; however, the chilling reality that this memoir is rooted in truth elevates it to a well-deserved 5 out of 5, making it an essential, if heart-wrenching, read that demands attention to the horrors some endure and the strength it takes to reclaim a life.

[Lukas Maruniak · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've been following Anneke story for some time now and I'm pleased to see, that her story is finally emerging to broader audience.

The book itself is page turner and I finished it in one day.

The book covers 1972 - 1974 years of Anneke, during which she was, as child, constantly abused by powerful people, yet managed to survive all the horrendous torture.

Her strength, intelligence and never-ceasing hope for love determines her fate to live through hell, only to tell the story and bring light into darkness.

We all have to wake up to the truth, that this world covers the injustice done to the most vulnerable ones.

Anneke, thank you.

[Mary Townsend · Rating 5 out of 5]

difficult read

Brings forth terrible truths that have been going on for decades, at least. Anneke is brave and strong and generous to share her journey. Thank God she was moved from the network. Her struggle to fine the love that animates humanity is impressive and touching. Sex slavery is a crucial issue in this day and time. It is also the most difficult to deal with for those who do not have such experiences. As a psych nurse, I have known psych nurses that became overwhelmed trying to help victims on sexual abuse units. In truth, I had to put this book aside for a while before completing it. Too intense for me at times.

[Nina Weston · Rating 4 out of 5]

Quest for Love is a painful read and I had to put it aside for a while. Anneke Lucas was trafficked into an elite Belgium pedo network as a child 6-11 years old during the late 1960's-early 1970's. I've heard other SRA victims, such as Cathy O'Brien, share their stories and I think it's important for us to understand the depth of darkness that persists in this world - for how can we fight it if we don't even know it exists? People need to know human trafficking exists at the level it does. It must end.

[Myriam Kohn Silva · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is extremely deep and powerful . Maybe some sensible people can have a difficult time with the détails of agression and torture . Now for me this confirmes my intuition about Anneke Lucas ( when I kind of feel close to since the beginning and our life stories show many similarities) But this book and the way she tells her memory is very instructive not only about our psyche as human beings but also about pointing out to look within ourselves. I beleive her writing is also subtle with a possibility to read between the lines a deeper message.

[josh brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Want to believe

Anneke does a great job writing this book, the fact that all the people she writes about were high profile people previously convicted on similar charges years before she ever wrote this book makes me skeptical about it's authenticity. She also happens to be a writer, so she writes fiction for a living, this also makes me skeptical. The book is great I just don't know if I can believe it, I wish she could support where she was and what happened with more evidence.

[Faheem Lea · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading this book brought a deeper look into the weird world of the pedophilia network. It’s almost unbelievable that there is a normal order of things within this network, and as the author vividly recalls her experiences, it is a wonder that she even made it through, or that she even has any sanity left. Makes you think of just how widespread and far-reaching this network is, which is frightening.

[Rogier · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is not an easy read, for the details of Anneke's story are simply too horrifying, but it is told with a level of insight and calm self-awareness that is the key to the healing she eventually experienced.
Still, if you can muster the courage to deal with these issues, this first-hand account can only be helpful since it demonstrates how worldly power stops at nothing. The theatrical upset over how Nazi-Germany happened, or how did the Corona madness get doctors around the world to commit medical murders on a large scale, or become complicit in a vaccination campaign that could only hurt, clearly ignores the nature of the ego's demonic power. But it only has that power if we believe in it.
There always remains a spark of light within us, and regardless of the depravity and the most horrible circumstances, there is a way out when we follow that light. For Anneke, another path manifested in the appearance of Yogananda in her life. It would seem she can be helpful to many people going through their own challenges, for the hell she went through was pretty extreme. The self-discovery she gained from it provides an incredible foundation for being helpful to others. The simple fact of being able to examine her own life with such total honesty is her most significant qualification. It would seem nothing much will faze her now.

[Aurelia · Rating 5 out of 5]

« If we see the insanity of what is happening in the world, we have a duty to also see the insanity of those who are behind it »
« Healing from trauma is to feel suppressed feelings so that we can expand and feel everything »
« The power of love is necessary to overcome the darkness »
Beautiful book. Not easy to read. Healing

[Sylvie Helman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Easy Read

There wasn't that much that I didn't like. What I did like about it is that it was easy reading, not too many big words that I had to go to my dictionary to understand the word. The other thing I liked is that it wasn't as gory as I thought it would be. She'd described things just the way they were and you can imagine the rest.