Financial Feminist: Overcome the Patriarchy's Bullsh*t to Master Your Money and Build a Life You Love

by Tori Dunlap, Tori Dunlap (Reading), Samantha Tan (Reading)

From the globally recognized personal finance educator and the TikTok star behind Her First $100K, an inclusive guide to all things money--from managing debt to investing and voting with your dollars--for the financial feminist in you.

Genres: Nonfiction, Finance, Self Help, Audiobook, Feminism, Money, Personal Finance

Audio CD

First published December 27, 2022

Reviews

[Tori Dunlap · Rating 5 out of 5]

So excited for you all to finally read the book I’ve poured my heart and soul into! We’re fighting the patriarchy by getting rich

[Dannie Lynn Fountain · Rating 2 out of 5]

Financial Feminist is a necessary book. It opens the door to conversations that need to be had. It is well researched and frequently cites studies and context to back up its advice. Ramit Sethi’s inset about defining what you DO want in life was particularly fantastic.

That being said, lack of perspective leads to perpetuating harm. Brene Brown is quoted frequently throughout the text despite Dunlap's stated desire to be inclusive of impacts of oppression. For those unfamiliar, Brown is often a controversial figure in non-white spaces. Dunlap perpetuates the same harm that Brown has been criticized for, "teaching people how to stand up for themselves, without accounting for how they, white middle class women, are protected and allowed to be courageous, while Black and Brown women are not afforded that same space, cover or protection." Things like negotiating rent or salary can be genuinely harmful to Black and Brown people without alternative security options, whereas for white individuals, they're a "gain-only risk," i.e. you lose nothing by trying.

Small comments throughout the text are harmful too. The book sprinkles in reminders that this is for anyone who is not a “cisgender white man” but then defaults to only centering white women throughout the remaining advice and is rarely gender-identity inclusive in language or thinking.

Finally the book consistently comes back to feelings of shame around “declaring a desire to be rich.” Frankly, most of us are just out here trying to survive. “Rich” is priority 50, surviving until tomorrow is priority one. Dreams of an apartment or house with one room per occupant come long before being rich. And yet “rich” is the central aspirational marker found in the book. Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the free advance copy. I also received a complimentary audiobook from the publisher via libro.fm.

Edited 4/1/23 - I finished my advance copy of Money Out Loud: All The Financial Stuff No One Taught Us today (out Aug 2023). It's a book I recommended as an alternative in the comments of this review. It completely delivers on my expectations and is a far more inclusive, aware, and holistic view of finance. Highly recommend!!!!

Edited 12/14/23 - I finished my advance copy of Keeping Finance Personal: Ditch the “Shoulds” and the Shame and Rewrite Your Money Story today and would HIGHLY recommend this title as well as an alternative to Financial Feminist!

[Sophie Turner · Rating 2 out of 5]

This financial advice has all been said before and more succinctly. The unique aspect of this book is solely the feminist lens. According to Dunlap, this lens is intersectional; however, the book reads about and for cosmopolitan white ladies. The little quips sprinkled throughout imply that all women are red-lipsticked femmes aspiring to have affairs with their pool boy. Dunlap claims to carry disdain for capitalism, but she upholds these systems at every turn. There is no acknowledgment of the connection between environmental justice and feminism. It encourages consumption and aspiring to a lavish lifestyle because that's what men have been doing all along. Completely focused on the individual without any true care for the collective.

[marta the book slayer · Rating 2 out of 5]

i don't think a financial book needs this many references to Timothée Chalamet

[Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this is a solid book for those who never received a financial education or feel really lost when it comes to managing finances. Really geared towards beginners, and particularly towards women and there's a lot of great practical advice in here. I will say, while it's clear Tori tries very hard to look at things from an intersectional lens, and has brought other voices into the book from marginalized identities she doesn't possess, I do think this really reads as a geared towards and centering upper-middle class white women with some form of college degree. Which is particularly grating specifically because I really don't think she realizes just how prominent that lens is throughout--you really get the feeling that she feels like she's absolutely nailing the intersectionality, and while I appreciate the attempts, I'm almost more off-put by the lack of awareness, and this is coming from somebody who pretty perfectly falls into the demographic this book is tailored for.

I also just personally really didn't vibe with the ~quirkier~ aspects of the writing style that felt really forced to me, like Tori was trying too hard to be relatable. All the random asides about how she wants to bang her Pilates instructor when she's 70 etc. got old quick. As somebody who listens to her podcast, I was also really super shocked that there wasn't ANY mention of managing money in a partnership/protecting your finances when in a relationship--she talks a LOT about financial domestic abuse on her podcast, and for an entire book about finances, primary geared towards women, it really seemed weird for there to be no chapter focusing on navigating something that affects the vast majority of women--most will, at some point in their lives, have a long-term partner, and finances will inevitably come into that equation, but she offers no advice on how to tackle that, nor does she even acknowledge that following the advice she *does* provide very well could change if you're managing your finances with another person.

Anyway, I do think this is a solid book, particularly for women, and particularly if finance stuff intimidates you. But I'd suggest checking the book out from your library, like I did...

[Astera Sundance · Rating 2 out of 5]

What in the middle-class, white woman, girl boss, nonsense did I read? Two stars because some of this information could be helpful if you know nothing about financial literacy. I truly thought I knew nothing. But as someone who grew up poor and has accumulated an unfortunate amount of debt, I apparently have taught myself more than I thought over the years. I found this book super annoying.

[Briar Rose Reads · Rating 1 out of 5]

About halfway through this book I realized that all of the information so far is a) available in easily digestible short- form on the author’s Instagram listicles, and b) even though I thought I could get through it to learn some financial stuff, the Social Justice Lite(TM) has overstayed its welcome and isn’t worth slogging through to get to morsels of information I could just google.

Absolutely nothing groundbreaking or that I haven’t heard before yet. Shrug.

Will update rating/review if I ever finish it but at this point it might be a DNF.

[Rachel Kelly · Rating 1 out of 5]

I truly don’t recommend this book to anyone for several reasons. First, I truly think Tori is massively arrogant, and that comes through not just from the book, but also from her podcast and social media channels. Second, she recently decided to continue her partnership with SoFi by basically saying in a round about way that they pay her a lot of money. I don’t trust financial advice from someone who has this type of stance. Third, I’ve been digesting her material and “advice” for several months, and she doesn’t give advice. She gives MAYBE some helpful tips, but most of it you can Google to find out. Nothing she says is really helpful. I have found myself often thinking “okay, that’s great, but HOW do I do that? What are the steps?” Not good. Highly suggest finding a different financial expert, because despite the fact that she likes to bring up all her accolades all the time (seriously, she can barely get through a single chapter or podcast episode without bringing something up), I don’t think she is one. And if she is, she’s not one that should be trusted.

[Rachel Quinn · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you haven't already add - Financial Feminist: Overcome the Patriarchy’s Bullsh*t To Master Your Money and Build a Life You Love to your wish list. I know, who wants a boring book about finance? But I promise you Tori's book is anything from boring. No matter where you are on your financial journey, this book will have something for you.

My last job was doing marketing for financial education for a credit union and my love for it has never gone away, even though I switched industries. So trust me - I know good financial advice when I see it.

Tori makes paying off debt and setting up a plan for saving realistic, while talking about where your money mindset comes from and how you can change it. I love how she simplifies and demystifies things such as investing so everyone can feel comfortable learning to invest.

[K · Rating 2 out of 5]

Like with most money advice you have to take what you learn and apply it to your life using your own experience and values. Of course we didn’t agree politically, and to be honest this book would’ve been stronger without the “feminist” aspect. there are good tips in here for beginners but if you’re looking for something deeper I wouldn’t start here.

Thank you to Libro.fm for the ALC!

[Shontal Cargill · Rating 2 out of 5]

So glad I borrowed this from the library and did not buy it. Tori provides a few tidbits of helpful advice, however, this book is in no way intersectional and falls quite short of being ‘feminist’

[Emily Jarrett · Rating 1 out of 5]

The white feminism jumps out of the book. I don’t doubt that the author of this book means well, but as most rich, white women tend to do, she’s framing this issue as a “feminist” issue without actually including that much advice for people who are not rich, white, and educated. Just because she acknowledges various identities in the book doesn’t mean she actually addresses them in any substantial way. Everything in this book is literally the same kind of information you can get anywhere - I didn’t learn anything, and I’m sure anyone who is like the author or like me, also white and middle/upper class (very obviously the target audience), will also come away feeling cheated they slogged through a book to get the same old “set goals, save money, invest in retirement.” This book feels like a money grab cloaked in “woke” language, and it honestly upsets me how little introspection the author seems to engage in.

[Janssen]

This is an excellent money book with a great mix of basic brass tacks and high level, long-term goals and planning, plus so much reality about what the financial landscape really looks like for women and minorities.

[Elizabeth · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I was already a Tori fan before reading the book, the thing I appreciated most was the exercises. It was nice to have them gathered together at the end of each chapter so I could sit and reflect on the ideas with more of a structure. What can I say, I love a plan!

And even tho I’ve been on my financial journey for awhile now, I definitely feel more confident and clear on what I want to do next. Will definitely be recommending!!

[kieran mcghee · Rating 1 out of 5]

co-opting the language of a socio-political movement to shill to the very people that said movement seeks to protect. just girlie things.

[Melanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

I'm conflicted. 2.5 stars rounded up to 3 but only because of her not-often-seen section on negotiating salary and benefits package. Be advised, there are a lot of curse words in this book, enough of them that they lose their punch and just get annoying.

Privileged white woman bitching about how much easier white men have it. Yawn. She reminds me of Rachel Hollis and those twins that wrote Burnout, and neither comparison is flattering.

She references Dave Ramsey stylized as "D*ve R*msey," like he's a cultural taboo, which might be overselling him a bit. He is, of course, a relentless salesman, as is Suze Orman (whom the author also references), but Dunlap herself doesn't seem a whole lot different. While bashing capitalism and exploitative and unsustainable, she repeatedly mentions her seven figure business, her app, her online courses, and basically the same shit that Dave Ramsey and Suze Orman reliably shill in their books and other broadcasts. She brands herself as a "personal finance expert," but if she has any actual credentials, she never mentions them, and as someone who was, some years ago, an Accredited Financial Counselor (with the oath and the fee and the ethics and continuing education classes) I really hate to see some random chick from Seattle calling herself an expert because she managed to tuck away some money into a 401k. It's like some random insurance saleswoman with Oprah's endorsement or a failed real estate investor calling themselves experts.

But onto the book. I should be reviewing the book.

Anyway, she first discusses the psychological relationship women have with money, and points out that female financial advice is geared towards shaming women for spending, whereas advice for men is geared towards investing. (This might be true for magazine articles, but I've rarely read a personal finance book that is specifically geared towards men or women. And most of the female-geared books have been written by women, so I'm not seeing buckets of patriarchy there.) She mentions choosing areas of personal values to target your spending, not unlike Ramit Sethi's "money dials," though she doesn't describe them as fully as he does.

There are a lot of sidebars written by other people, mostly either women, people of color, or gay couples, and some of those were more helpful or enlightening than what Dunlap herself wrote. The woman recounting her time working for Victoria's Secret and being expected to push the Angel Card on every single customer brought back memories. And there were other stories about people getting in debt in order to impress others, or people being exploited because of a failure to define or exercise their personal boundaries (I was annoyed at the one woman who used covid-phobia as an excuse to work from home instead of finding another job away from her toxic workplace).

She mentions a three-bucket system of budgeting (one for essentials, one for savings, one for all non-essential spending) which seems good enough but she doesn't explain how to track it very well, so I was confused, especially since a lot of the essential expenses can vary a bit (groceries, energy bills, gasoline).

One thing I did get annoyed with was the tendency to play the victim card, like, how women *have* to spend loads of money to look attractive, buy makeup, hair care, and fashionable clothes, and included the specific case of how she had to shell out thousands of dollars on hair and makeup and lighting and shoes(??) for the cover shoot for her book. It reminded me of Rachel Hollis whining about how a woman has to look her best to feel her best, but it costs as much as a small car to look her best. Yup. Dunlap leans into how much worse this is for women of color because of institutional racism against Black hair (except the bias is strongest by white women. Damn that patriarchy!).
Also the idea that a person's earnings are the one aspect of their financial lives that are least in their control because of systemic oppression. Not sure I buy that, but this is the one section of the book where she talks about tweaking work skills to fit a job listing, and how to negotiate for a worthwhile compensation package. She also points out that the interview process should be a two-way communication, where you are interviewing the company as much as they're interviewing you, and that's an important idea too often overlooked.

Also, I don't think this book is marketed to a low-income or low-skill readership. She indicates it's suitable for all women, but I'm not convinced. I think it's intended for women who have at least some college. There's precious little about people who are actually struggling due to language barriers, or limited education, or being a single parent. There's also the assumption that you have a 401K or would be making enough to tuck money into a 401K. And there is zero mention of marriage, children, or how/why/that you should protect at least some of your finances from a domestic partner.

Bottom line: Check the section on job hunting and negotiating, but otherwise, the actual personal finance stuff is pretty boilerplate.

[Madi · Rating 3 out of 5]

actionable advise that i definitely will be implementing into my life. but would love if millenialisms could be a thing of the past. meme references become incredibly dated and cringey.

[Karina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Received a galley copy — this book is exactly what we need to be teaching in schools. Covers the foundation of finances — financial confidence, building wealth, and developing healthy habits — but then SO much more.

[ella · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know there's going to be some haters. The marketing is sort of kitsch-y. But this book passes on extremely valuable information that my parents never taught me about emergency funds, retirement funds, the pitfalls of quick investing and how investing actually works, how to negotiate an increase in salary and benefits, as well as how to decrease your bills...all while under this framework of like, listen marginalized people don't get this knowledge because it's kept under narratives of shame and guilt. It acknowledges the way capitalism is really fucked up while still advocating for "playing the game" in order to survive. I'm so glad I read it, I have real and tangible goals to build wealth now, and that's kind of really cool. 5/5 stars.

[Wyatt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tori is a force of nature and a voice that was desperately needed in the world of financial advice. She deserves the huge fan base she has developed on social media, and given how amazing her podcast is, I know we are in for even good things from her.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

So thrilled for this book - it's going to change so many lives.

[Megan Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

So extremely helpful for the beginner! Explains finances very well!

[Jennifer Reilly · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.5 rounded up.

I did exactly what the author tells you not to do and I zipped through the book because I wanted the general info before doing any sort of deep dive. Basically, is this right for me? There are some good points, but this is in no way groundbreaking information. This is written by a privileged white woman complaining about the historical financial power of middle-aged white men and how to overcome!!!! I think there is potential in this book that could help some woman, but is missing the mark on helping all women from all backgrounds. I would have liked to have seen it be more inclusive. “Personal finance is personal” is something the author says several times throughout the book. This is a decent start to a much larger conversation.

[solomiya · Rating 2 out of 5]

very basic stuff with a few bits a decent advice. wayyy too much millennial humor, the author was trying too hard to be fun and chill.

thank you to libro.fm, the author, and the publisher for an alc of this book

[sarah akins • smareads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to this one on audio and also read along with a physical copy of the book. I really enjoyed consuming this book in this manner because I was able to fully appreciate the author's personality and emotion from beginning to end.
Prior to reading this book, my entire experience in the world of understanding personal finance was through the lens of Dave Ramsey. While I do respect a lot of his practices, this book has really improved and changed my outlook regarding my money, my career, and mine and my family's future financially. I plan to make some serious changes moving forward that I know will benefit myself and my family in regard to our money and our goals.

Tori Dunlap is highly intelligent, witty, and well-versed in the world of finances (especially through the perspective of a woman in a patriarchal world). Definitely recommend!

[KM · Rating 5 out of 5]

I got a sneak peek into this book, and it's one of the first finance books where I didn't feel like I was being talked down to or just told to "do more" or "make more money." It dives into both advice and doesn't skirt over the realities of our current financial system and how it affects women differently. I'm so excited to share this book once it's officially on shelves!

[Hailey · Rating 1 out of 5]

author is so self absorbed and scared of poor people it’s laughable ?????? “I am SO successful and rich but I HAVEEEEEE to buy and invest in Amazon 🥺 that doesn’t make me less of a feminist!!!!!” should have dnf’ed

[Olivia Coning · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love everything Tori and HFK does and I know this book will absolutely change lives!! I’ve already pre-ordered 5 copes for myself and my friends! 🥰

[Tina · Rating 1 out of 5]

DO NOT BUY WASTE OF MONEY!!!!!!!!!!

If you want to learn about finances and investing this is not the book for you. Really it’s not for anyone.

Honestly if I could give no star I would.

[Jenny Bunting · Rating 3 out of 5]

As someone who has consumed her fair share of personal finance content, there's nothing revolutionary here. I did get a few nuggets (I have a money date scheduled with myself next week) and I'm very motivated to review all my investing and really think about my spending priorities. However, a lot of it was stuff I knew and I would say this book is ideal for beginners. While I do think the patriarchy and systematic oppression are players in this, Dunlap rarely touches on personal responsibility and how to take ownership over mistakes individuals make to get themselves in the situations they are in. Understanding past habits is crucial and while I don't think anyone should beat themselves up for past mistakes (like Dave Ramsey might suggest you do) I believe it's key to understanding how to move forward to the future.