The Secret Place of Thunder: Trading Our Need to Be Noticed for a Hidden Life with Christ

by John Starke

Why do we feel like we are always performing? Where does this impulse come from?

As John Starke shows in The Secret Place of Thunder, our modern world has internalized the idea that the markers of having an admirable and successful life are primarily visible. It leads us to believe that a sense of self-worth and identity are metrics to be displayed. The performance of the self has become more important than the reality. We live as if the most important things about us are to be performed before others; that our deepest happiness will come from being who others think we ought to be.

But when Jesus says, "Do not practice your righteousness before others," he is leading us to believe that the most important things about us are hidden. How does the Bible lead us to live primarily before God? How does Jesus lead us to wholeness?

Jesus teaches us to live, not for the eyes of others or even for ourselves, but in the secret place where our Father in heaven sees and rewards.

Genres: Christian, Christian Living, Theology, Nonfiction, Christianity, Faith, Christian Non Fiction

166 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 21, 2023

About the author

I grew up in the Midwest but have lived in Arizona, South Carolina, Kentucky, and now live in New York City with my wife Jena and our four children. I pastor Apostles Church Uptown in Manhattan.

I've written for Christianity Today, Books & Culture, Comment Magazine, and others. I have written "The Possibility of Prayer: Finding Stillness with God in a Restless World" (IVP), co-edited "One God in Three Persons: Unity of Essence, Distinction of Persons, Implications for Life" (Crossway), and have contributed chapters to "Our Secular Age: Ten Years of Reading and Applying Charles Taylor" (TGC) and "Faithful Endurance: The Joy of Shepherding People for a Lifetime" (Crossway).

Reviews

[Jamaal Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

I genuinely enjoyed this book. The message of cultivating a hidden life with Christ in an era where attention-seeking and grasping are prevalent is incredibly valuable. The pace and reflective nature of John’s writing are beautiful and harmonize perfectly with the central thesis of his book. May the Lord raise a generation of Christians who trade their relentless pursuit of recognition for a profound and enduring relationship with Christ. And may he begin with me.

[Jared · Rating 5 out of 5]

It’s possible to be socially and culturally diminished while thriving spiritually. Sometimes that’s necessary.

I found the last two chapters—on silently abiding and times of stagnant growth—to be deeply convicting.

[Libby Valerio · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you just so happen to be someone who is prone to performing your way out of hard or unwanted seasons, maybe just maybe read this one. The book was basically about how spiritual growth comes through embracing our weakness, dependence, and vulnerability and not through masking or mastery. Ope.

"The life of love and satisfaction of desires is not a performative life. It is a life that produces worship. We become people who don't anxiously grasp for what we want in this world but who experience joy in what God gives. Your life stops witnessing to your success and the spoils that one might envy - and starts witnessing to the goodness of God that everyone is invited to receive."

[Alexis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Highly recommend. Deeply convicting and practical.

[Pat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Listened to this book 2 times through and really am glad I did as gained much more the second go round.

[Haley Baumeister · Rating 4 out of 5]

Full of excellent reminders, intertwined with lots of personal and social annecdotes to put flesh on the concepts.

Would make a great companion to Alan Noble's book 'You Are Not Your Own'.

[Mary Lake · Rating 5 out of 5]

Haven’t read a book on this topic before and it was so so good

[Michael Hinnen · Rating 5 out of 5]

All Christians should read this, especially those who are “achievers.” Convicting, yet hopeful that the hidden life with God is possible, IF we learn to die to ourselves.

[Missy Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow. This is an incredibly timely book. Whether we want to admit it, our culture has sucked us into the empty rat race of a performative life: Do more. Be more. Show more. Always get better. And don’t forget to make sure others see. Bc this is where we’ll experience approval, right? This is how we’ll know if we’re on the right in life. We attach unrealistic standards and expectations not only on ourselves but also to those around us - ultimately causing us to constantly feel like we’re never enough, and easily disappointed by those around us. Starke, in a pastorally tender but truthful manner, peels away at the fake layers of protection we’ve build up from constantly performing for the world (and ourselves) and gets to the root. I was both convicted and encouraged. I have been off social media for January and the Lord has been using this time to prune away at my heart and reveal some uncomfortable truths. This book was honestly an answer to prayer. The perfect companion to help organize and put words to the convictions I had already been feeling. Everyone needs to read this book!

[Brett Wiley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the second book of John’s that I have read. He taught some of this material at our discipleship conference last year, but the book took it to a deeper level for me.

The main premise is to trade in the performative life that our culture promotes (even a great deal of Christian culture) for a hidden life with Christ where real joy, life, and fruit are found. To trade in the life that seeks “to be seen by others,” for the life that can only be found “in secret with the Father.”

Give me this kind of Christianity (which is biblical Christianity) everyday of the week and twice on Sunday, rather than the Christianity that is built on power, platform, and personality that so many are trusting in right now. Only one will last…because Babylon is fragile.

[Logan Price · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grateful for pastors and books that encourage Christians towards hidden lives of faithfulness. Such a needed counter narrative in our world.

[Jonathon Crump · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fantastic and imminently timely book. This is one of those books that had to be written. Where we are as a performative culture demanded a thoughtful Christian response and I’m glad John Starke was the one to write this book. Reading this felt like a counseling session in the best way possible. I’m grateful this book exists and I know so many people who would benefit from these prodding and encouraging pages (starting with me!).

[Peter McNamee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This very well may be the best book I read this year. The topic is timely and important for our day and age. I’ll be coming back to this one again and again.

[Carson Feix · Rating 5 out of 5]

Starke’s concept of performative faith really impacted me. It’s not just about the ostentatious, self-exalting motivations, but also the temptation to neglect the hidden and mundane areas of relationship with Christ to focus on achievement and improvement to satisfy our fast-paced, task-driven natures. He makes the powerful connection that the fulfillment we seek through performative faith is only available through nurturing the hidden areas instead.

This book will stick with me.

[Glen Higgins · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are many commendable aspects of this book. This most basic argument is profound, we live a culture which constantly calls on us to preform, whether this is in our job, social media, or in relationships, and often we are crushed by our failures. This has created a low/grade anxiety-fever that weighs on the soul. At the root of this problem, is not that we strive but why and before whom we strive. Stark remind us that we should rather find refuge in the “secret place of thunder” a reference to Psalm 81. Put simply, when we learn to live and work primarily before God, we find we don’t have to be awesome, we can be dependent flawed creatures. We learn to live after the pattern of our savior, death and then resurrection. We lose our life in order to find it; we must become like the seed who falls into the earth, that the Lord might transform us into something new, bearing good fruit. A very need reminder for us who often fall into the temptation to live for the praise of men.

While I think there are many helpful elements I think there are some areas of his thought that need more development. Some of his corrections resonate with the therapeutic movement “learn to give yourself grace”, which is the response to self-hatred. He notes that what he is after is not hiding our flaws even from the Lord. Which is good, but what does “giving grace to myself” have to do with this? Better to shrink our view of ourselves as untrustworthy than swell it by saying we need to forgive ourselves.

Also, the title of his book alludes to Psalm 81, finding refuge in the secret place of thunder which recounts newly redeemed Israel at the foot of Mt Sinai. While Stark interprets this imagery as experiencing God’s power and presence not before men but in the secret place. A closer look at the context reveals this verse is recounting God’s holy unapproachable place of revelation at the top of Mount Sinai. The focus is not necessarily that relating to God happens in hidden ways as opposed to before other, rather that God is seeking fellowship with his people, but because of their sin he must speak from the hidden place of thunder. What Israel needed was a mediator to go atop the mountain to receive revelation about how they might be made clean and dwell with God. Examining Exodus 19 reveals as much. That God answers from the unapproachable heights is grace, that he provides a mediator is grace, that he provides a way for us to be made clean is grace, he does all this (back to the context of Psalm 81), that we might hear from him and find life in him, not idols of the world. Stark gets to this point as well but his explanation of this line needs development, especially if it is serving as the title of the book.

Overall, I enjoyed his main thrust and found a helpful analysis of our cultural tendencies to build our identity around our performance.

[Jeremy · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a challenging and wonderful book. I’m still reflecting on John’s wisdom in cultivating a life of union with a Christ away from a life of performative spirituality. This one is worth a slow read, and then another re-read.

[Alex Yauk · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars. I really loved this book. Starke’s idea of ‘performative individuality / ‘performative spirituality’ resonated and is an insightful cultural observation.

“We want to be seen and admired. It’s how we have learned to seek love.” And further “We have been taught to acknowledge and display only the most acceptable parts of ourselves. It’s the way we feel successful in this world. But the Father, who sees in secret, sees us all the way down to the bottom and loves us to the skies.”

There is much more here, the concept of wholeness, digging in to the mustard seed, different things pushing back against unhelpful culture - both in and out of the church. Recommend!

[Mary Grace Apostol · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book felt like the author split me open and was both convicting and soothing my inner thoughts. Holy moly I will be thinking about this book for a long time. It took me a while because I truly had to sit down after reading a couple pages and truly meditate on what it was saying. Overall, full of rich Biblical truth, and a convicting message of a hidden life of obedience to Christ, seeking only His approval and praise.

[Laura Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

The siren call of the world is more subtle than we think. It’s easy to label and list “what’s wrong with the world” according to headlines or podcasts or social media feeds. Yet a more insidious influence happens when the heart is lured to performative Christianity: we think we’re hitting “this Christian life” out of the ballpark with our displays of spiritual productivity. But in all the noise and busyness, we’re drowning the small “insignificant” yet critical call to secret abiding, secret joy, secret contentment— not that it doesn’t often result in outward lives of faith, but it doesn’t need to, because it is enough to be near to Jesus.
A book that encourages the reader to consider the counterintuitive ways God does his most transformative work in hidden spaces.

[Andy Bond · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was recommended at a theology conference I went to in July.

It is unlike most books I read but cuts deeply to the heart in so many places.

The chapters look at performative spirituality, a hidden life, fruitful dormancy, sowing our death, strategies for joy, abiding over optimising and stagnant grace.

I'm some parts of the Church and our own lives we can become overly pragmatic, pursuing results and in the midst of it develop performative spirituality.

This book calls us to a hidden costly life with Jesus.

Starke writes
"If you take anything away from this book, I pray that you learn to grow out of a performative life into one that is nonanxious enough to engage in these moments with a quiet, healing Jesus."

[Ivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a world of performative individualism that only leaves us exhausted and burned out, here’s an inviting vision to find a “fruitful dormancy” as we live hidden in Christ. Whether intentional or not, the fact that the book has no endorsements only underscores the overriding point of the book. In a world where everything is a stage, we all could find ways to daily die to self and crucify the desire for applause:

[Josh G. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding. Timely. Helpful.

Re-Read: December 2025.

[Bryan Kane · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.25/5 - I thought the main thrust of this book was clear and an incredibly helpful and healthy reminder for me. Being shaped by God's love in the secret places is far more important than performing for him. At times though, it felt a little redundant.

"Our culture supports individual expressions of a self-curated identity... We want to be ourselves, but we also want to be loved. Our culture rarely allows us both." - p5

"From our childhood, we've all been crying out, " look at me!" Jesus is not saying, " you need to get rid of that desire. " It's just that our healthy desire to be seen has become disordered" -p11

"We have been shaped to perform for likes, but we do not know how to be loved." -p19

"It's hard to perform the beatitudes." -p23

"The performative life's benefits are fleeting. It will not lead to a deep and abiding sense of God's presence, and experiential grasp of his love, and healing from your insecurities, anxieties, and grief." -p30

"Achieving change often demands the work of the spiritual disciplines of prayer and fasting where Christ can expose, heal, and mature where needed... Aim at maturity, and you get change thrown in. Aim simply at change, and you'll likely get neither." -p42

"In previous societies, people identified themselves as citizens and neighbors. But now we are primarily consumers and spectators, afraid of commitment, wearing that making commitments will reduce our freedom and cut us off from the myriad choices that constantly entice us." - p 60

"[In loss] a soul can spend all its powers upon the supreme and self-sufficient good, spreading and stretching itself upon God with full contentment, and wrapping up itself entirely in him." - p61

"Life buried in Christ becomes what it was meant to be. Like a seed created for soil, we are meant to be in Christ." - P 66

"Nothing experiences life unless it dies... In the end only things that can be resurrected are dead." - p80

"I wasn't comfortable with other people suffering because I wasn't yet comfortable accepting my own." - p 85

"The practice of remembering is important because it reconfirms for us God's character and faithfulness... Looking at history and forms our hope... Christianity is historical in nature." -p96-97

"Paying attention... Is the most basic level of spiritual formation. Attention is the hallmark feature of this domain of consciousness." -101

"Christian Joy is not an escape from sorrow... A common but futile strategy for achieving joy is trying to eliminate things that hurt." (Eugene Peterson) - 109

"Abiding evokes long-term, unhurried togetherness... It is slow and unproductive... Any life of love is not a performative life; it is a life that produces worship... It is the hidden nature of our life with God the animates us about the demonstration of our achievements... The substance of our spiritual life is that we are with him rather than what we are doing for him." -p 117-119

"Discipleship... Is a way to curate your heart, to be attentive to and intentional about what you love. So discipleship is more a matter of hungering and thirsting than of knowing and believing." (James KA Smith) -p 126

"One of the severe dangers of a performative life: it cannot abide pruning." -p128

[Jeff Colston · Rating 4 out of 5]

“A life buried in Christ becomes what it was meant to be. Like a seed created for soil, we are meant to be in Christ. Apart from this kind of death, we remain alone, unsatisfied, unfruitful—living in ways we were not meant to live. In Christ, we have a received identity rather than a curated one that requires consistent upkeep, improvements, and filters. We were meant to live under the loving gaze of God and his acknowledgment of us rather than trying to display a life that measures up to the world's standard for a balanced, optimized, or admirable life. While we crave the ‘I want your life!’ Instagram comments, what we need is the consistent voice of the Father telling us, ‘You are my beloved. Well done. I love you.’ We were created to live on the Father's affirmation in Christ. The affirmation of the world is a moving target, leaving us perpetually anxious and cultivating our insecurities, but the Father's voice of love is stable and firm, forming us into resilient people.”

I’m still very much on a journey to believe what God says about me and be secure, but this was another helpful resource in that journey. I think especially in our modern culture (which Starke gets in to), it’s so easy to strive to be seen, to strive for perfection, to strive for optimization, but the way of Jesus is an unhurried, non-anxious, abiding. Lord, help me! I still so often get hurried and anxious. Help me to abide!

This is also a great complement to books like To Hell with the Hustle (Bethke) and Ruthless Elimination of Hurry (Comer).

[nate]

A fitting book to read during the early weeks of my sabbatical. So much of the past 20 years of my life has been what Starke calls performative spirituality–doing things for God in front of other people. It's an occupational hazard. But this season of sabbatical has been a time to live hidden before God. To be honest, it has been difficult. But I think it has also been good.

Funny story about this book: I ordered it back in February and it never got delivered. Because I may have a problem with ordering too many books, I didn't notice until several months later. I let the book seller know and it was delivered just in time for my sabbatical and just in the right time for me to read it.

[Andrew Canavan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The church and our Christian lives would be healthier and happier if we heard and internalized the message of this book. It’s unsustainable to pursue the “created fullness” this world offers, especially when God’s “uncreated fullness” is offered to us in Christ.

[Grace · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5⭐️if I had read this all in one sitting this may have been a 5. But the writing felt clunky at times & I didn’t love picking it up so infrequently due to reading it as a staff. That being said…it’s a really good book. Lots of “man I needed to hear that” thoughts. Would recommend!

[Darrell Bramer · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great insights and reminders of where we can be closest to God! Not in performance for Him… but simply being with Him!

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really great book - 4.5 stars. Solid teaching, and exactly what I needed to hear. Listened to it, but will probably buy it someday to have a copy.

[Paul Pease · Rating 5 out of 5]

Probably the most stirring book I have read for a long, long time.