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Heartbroken: Field Notes on a Constant Condition
Imbued with longing, erudition and hard-earned wisdom, Heartbroken dares to delve into a universal ordeal—perhaps the one that makes us the most human of all.
When Laura Pratt’s long-distance partner of six years tells her “it’s over” at a busy downtown train station, she is sent reeling, the breakup coming out of the blue. He, meanwhile, closes himself off, refusing to acknowledge Laura and her requests for explanation.
In the following days, months and then years, Laura struggles to make sense of this sudden ending, alone and filled with questions. A journalist, she seeks to understand the freefall that is heartbreak and how so many before her survived it, drawing on forces across time and form, and uncovers literary, philosophical, scientific and psychological accounts of the mysterious alchemy of how we human beings fall in love in the first place, and why, when it ends, some of us take longer to get over it, or never do. She weaves this background of cultural history with her own bracing story of passionate love and its loss, and offers some hope for arriving—changed, broadened, grateful—on the other side.
When Laura Pratt’s long-distance partner of six years tells her “it’s over” at a busy downtown train station, she is sent reeling, the breakup coming out of the blue. He, meanwhile, closes himself off, refusing to acknowledge Laura and her requests for explanation.
In the following days, months and then years, Laura struggles to make sense of this sudden ending, alone and filled with questions. A journalist, she seeks to understand the freefall that is heartbreak and how so many before her survived it, drawing on forces across time and form, and uncovers literary, philosophical, scientific and psychological accounts of the mysterious alchemy of how we human beings fall in love in the first place, and why, when it ends, some of us take longer to get over it, or never do. She weaves this background of cultural history with her own bracing story of passionate love and its loss, and offers some hope for arriving—changed, broadened, grateful—on the other side.
304 pages, Paperback
Published January 10, 2023
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509 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
January 18, 2023
i've sat for a few days on writing my review for laura pratt's creative nonfiction/memoir 'heartbroken' because... this book was not for me. while pratt is very obviously a talented writer, and can effectively communicate her feelings to the reader, there were some issues i had with the book as a whole. the book is essentially about a middle aged white woman (pratt) whose long distance partner of 6 years leaves her suddenly due to a miscommunication. the book details her feelings around this grief in vivid detail. however, this grief of being left is equated multiple times to the grief of a loved one dying, which i don't think is an accurate way to look at heartbreak. pratt also details the ways she repeatedly messaged her ex for years and years following the break up, after he explicitly told her not to. pratt is unable to respect his feelings and needs, and instead impulsively acts on her own wants. just because she is hurting, she still needs to be respectful of her ex's feelings, which she chooses not to do. the general vibe of the book is that pratt actively chooses to hold onto this loss, and tries to see everything through the lens of him changing his mind and coming back to her, instead of making the choice to accept her reality and try to move on. it felt unhealthy to me. lastly, it was very difficult to sympathize with her after the first few chapters, because she didn't learn from any of her errors, and instead continued to wax poetic about how her ex left her.
i'm not sure if i just wasn't the target audience, or if this writer is just Too Much. it's a book i wish i had dnf'd.
i'm not sure if i just wasn't the target audience, or if this writer is just Too Much. it's a book i wish i had dnf'd.
January 13, 2023
Full disclosure: I have known the author for many years— and the beautiful way she expresses herself in this book is exactly the same beautiful way she expresses herself in everyday communication. I sped through this book, although it broke my heart in a cathartic sort of way. It evokes memories of heartbreaks from long, long, long ago — and also helps me better understand and empathize with a family member (another Aquarius; coincidence? Hmm) who also has suffered through a difficult heartbreak. I have to admit, though — I had hoped for a more decisive conclusion. I sincerely hope that writing this book has been healing and brought about a sense of “closure” the author does not believe in at the beginning of the book!
February 5, 2023
I’m feeling a bit conflicted about this book. On one hand, I think she’s a beautiful writer & is very descriptive/strong prose. On the other hand I take issue with a lot of the content. I’m trying to be non judgemental of her grieving process but to be honest I found a lot of her coping to be disconcerting. For 6 years after her break up she continued to email and send letters. Surely this is complex grief but at what point does it become harassment???
January 30, 2023
This is a well written work, and has a lot of interesting and well done research, about well, heartbreak.
I however, am not in a season of heartbreak.
I have been, and a lot of this resonates with me, but I honestly found it a bit of a slog.
I didn't want to pick up and read more about Pratt's terrible time.
Perhaps it would be better suited if you yourself where having a terrible time.
I however, am not in a season of heartbreak.
I have been, and a lot of this resonates with me, but I honestly found it a bit of a slog.
I didn't want to pick up and read more about Pratt's terrible time.
Perhaps it would be better suited if you yourself where having a terrible time.
January 13, 2023
DNF. I can't get through this narcissistic read halfway through Chapter one. I don't understand the textbook speak in a 'memoir.' The harassment of Sam was too much. (I have lost an acquaintance due to a stalker. ). I did get this ARC from NetGalley. I do wish it well.
March 1, 2023
DNF. Not interested in reading about unhealthy romantic relationships.
January 28, 2023
First I’d like to thank @netgalley the author and @penguinrandomca for the opportunity to read this eARC in exchange for my honest opinion.
This memoir followed the author through a breakup in her 40s which was her first relationship after her divorce.
Things that worked for me were that it took place between Toronto and Montreal so I really felt like I could see the locations the author was talking about.
And the first ~15% of the book was so gripping. I really could feel through her writing the overwhelming heartbreak after their initial breakup.
What didn’t work for me was the amount of studies and theories that were referenced when I really wanted more of the backstory of the relationship. I felt through the rest of the book the proportion of theory/research to their relationship was inverted to what I wanted.
This definitely brought me back to what breakups in my 20s were like when they were all consuming for a long period of time.
This book published January 10th.
This memoir followed the author through a breakup in her 40s which was her first relationship after her divorce.
Things that worked for me were that it took place between Toronto and Montreal so I really felt like I could see the locations the author was talking about.
And the first ~15% of the book was so gripping. I really could feel through her writing the overwhelming heartbreak after their initial breakup.
What didn’t work for me was the amount of studies and theories that were referenced when I really wanted more of the backstory of the relationship. I felt through the rest of the book the proportion of theory/research to their relationship was inverted to what I wanted.
This definitely brought me back to what breakups in my 20s were like when they were all consuming for a long period of time.
This book published January 10th.
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January 23, 2023I'm not doing a star rating because I'm very conflicted. Clearly the author is suffering with mental illness and she's romanticized her relationship and breakup in a way that allows her to stay cocooned in her loss. This is clearly harming her and severely damaging her relationships, and she should be in therapy. The book was well written but it was clear that it wasn't coming from a sane and rational person. It was kind of like reading a thriller where the narrator starts out seeming normal and then by the end you're not surprised that they were the murderer (there were no assaults or murders in this book). I feel really bad saying this about a memoir.
This book documents the author's obsession with a man that she met in her 40s. She was a single mother and freelance writer with 4 older children and he was a single man a tiny bit younger with no children who lived in an apartment and was in a band with his friends. They were long distance but saw each other on the weekends and on vacations and stuff. After 6 years he decided to end the relationship and went no contact. She did not take it well.
The book documents the author's attempts to ostensibly gain closure, but it seems like her actual goal is to get her ex to talk to her so she can convince him to be with her again. The book itself seems like it was written as another attempt to get his attention. That's going to seem harsh until you actually read the book. There are stalking behaviors (not in person) and it's clear that the author doesn't care if she's making her ex uncomfortable. She thinks that because she's sad and not angry that forcing unwanted communications and "gifts" on a person who doesn't want to be with you is ok.
I cannot rate this book because it was raw and honest, the prose was great, the facts and quotes that supported her points were fantastic, and the book was well put together, but it was also a rambling pit of despair and delusion in which author attempts to justify her behavior and gain her ex's attention instead of finding closure. I just... I really hope she goes to therapy and leaves this dude alone. I hope he's not too traumatized by this whole thing.
If you choose to read this book I highly recommend the audiobook which is read by the author for the full experience. You can really hear the emotion in her voice.
This book documents the author's obsession with a man that she met in her 40s. She was a single mother and freelance writer with 4 older children and he was a single man a tiny bit younger with no children who lived in an apartment and was in a band with his friends. They were long distance but saw each other on the weekends and on vacations and stuff. After 6 years he decided to end the relationship and went no contact. She did not take it well.
The book documents the author's attempts to ostensibly gain closure, but it seems like her actual goal is to get her ex to talk to her so she can convince him to be with her again. The book itself seems like it was written as another attempt to get his attention. That's going to seem harsh until you actually read the book. There are stalking behaviors (not in person) and it's clear that the author doesn't care if she's making her ex uncomfortable. She thinks that because she's sad and not angry that forcing unwanted communications and "gifts" on a person who doesn't want to be with you is ok.
I cannot rate this book because it was raw and honest, the prose was great, the facts and quotes that supported her points were fantastic, and the book was well put together, but it was also a rambling pit of despair and delusion in which author attempts to justify her behavior and gain her ex's attention instead of finding closure. I just... I really hope she goes to therapy and leaves this dude alone. I hope he's not too traumatized by this whole thing.
If you choose to read this book I highly recommend the audiobook which is read by the author for the full experience. You can really hear the emotion in her voice.
April 20, 2023
I don’t usually do reviews, but this book romanticizes harassment. It is clear that the author is not well, and remains obsessed with her ex-partner after prolonged separation. Having encountered a stalker personally, Pratt’s discussions of calling, texting, and even her ex a photo book where she glued pictures I’d yanked from Facebook” onto travel brochures disturb me. She mailed this to him, when the ex-partner explicitly stated he no longer wanted contact. While the reader isn’t privy to Pratt’s relationship or the side from her partner, the prose and discussion actively justifies and glorifies stalking. It employed a lot of justifications I and many survivors of obsessive partners have heard used to excuse their behaviour. This includes harassment being an expression of love. While I sympathizes with the authors grief over her breakup; it should never be an excuse to harass another person. I cannot personally support the message being conveyed, and do not recommend it to anyone.
January 12, 2023
This is a wonderful book, with both insight and research going hand in hand. I can’t say enough about Pratt’s ability to weave her personal experience into her sources on love and its many aspects as she finds them. She is a beautiful writer, if of the grandiose style, who has an incredible knack for a telling metaphor as well as a pithy statement. Her essays are a combination of free flowing research and personal memoir. From her opening, with echoes of Elizabeth Smart’s classic of heartbreak, Pratt gives you wave upon wave of quotes and thoughts on love, from Roland Barthes to medieval lovers, Heloise and Abelard. Almost every page has a reference to a stage of love or its demise, so intricately woven into her memoir, that it resonates within the reader. It is of a florid style, but so genuinely expressed that I couldn’t help being won over.
Pratt shifts effortlessly from the ultra personal to dispassionate reference, never off track and always informative. Her topics range from obvious stages of love and heartbreak, to spin-off topics inspired by her relationship, such as music or memory. In each case there is an in depth exploration of the topic in culture, with references literary, scientific, historical, etc. She discusses how her heart is literally broken.
That said, I am going to buy this book and highly recommend it for anyone who has or will be lost into love’s swirling craziness or needing to research what indeed all the fuss is about. Her insights about grief and its manifestations are valuable.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Random House Canada for a chance to read an Arc in exchange for an honest review. I wish Heartbroken well.
Pratt shifts effortlessly from the ultra personal to dispassionate reference, never off track and always informative. Her topics range from obvious stages of love and heartbreak, to spin-off topics inspired by her relationship, such as music or memory. In each case there is an in depth exploration of the topic in culture, with references literary, scientific, historical, etc. She discusses how her heart is literally broken.
That said, I am going to buy this book and highly recommend it for anyone who has or will be lost into love’s swirling craziness or needing to research what indeed all the fuss is about. Her insights about grief and its manifestations are valuable.
Many thanks to NetGalley and Penguin Random House Canada for a chance to read an Arc in exchange for an honest review. I wish Heartbroken well.
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July 7, 2023There are very few relationships that never at one time or another come to a crashing halt. You hear of high school sweethearts who never part, their love story definitely one for the ages, defying most odds. But the fact is, a high number of people who read this book and will read this review have been in some sort of situation with a partner, one that suddenly comes to an end for whatever reason.
Laura Pratt experienced that, giving us the story of her life and loss with her former lover Sam. It was a long-distance relationship, Laura in Toronto and Sam in Montreal. Laura had a previous marriage with four children, and Sam has his own divorce in the past. The two met and based on the story in the book, had some amazing moments and memories together. They seemed destined to be together forever, but all that came to crashing halt when at a Toronto train station he suddenly announced it was over after six years of dating bliss. There were no warning signs in her eyes, but then again since there was no sense of closure from Sam, or reasons behind the sudden exit in the relationship, Laura began hoping it was not over.
In the pages of the book, we read about her optimism that it was not over, and that Sam would find his way back to her. Laura began sending text messages, and phoning Sam many times to the point that he told her to leave him alone. Yes rejection is difficult, but there are many times in the book when Laura seemed not able to accept that, and kept year after year hoping he would see the error of his ways, and the two would reunite.
Throughout the book, she uses research examples page after page about thoughts and memories, love denied, love not meant to be, also referencing movies, lots of experts, to the point one views the references as justifications for trying to get back together. She refused to let go, even using her daughter’s Facebook account to talk to him under the premise it was the daughter.
She sent Christmas stockings each year, tracking the progress of it online, until Sam picked it up, Laura imagining he was enjoying it and memories they shared. Sad to say, after four, five, six, seven years and more, Laura kept hoping, getting signs from the universe like if a parking meter gave her coins, or she saw the number 33 which was both key numbers for them, that they might reunite.
Love has no guarantees, and while some may pine for someone and worship them years later, some of us can only say, “there comes a time to let the past stay there.”
Laura Pratt experienced that, giving us the story of her life and loss with her former lover Sam. It was a long-distance relationship, Laura in Toronto and Sam in Montreal. Laura had a previous marriage with four children, and Sam has his own divorce in the past. The two met and based on the story in the book, had some amazing moments and memories together. They seemed destined to be together forever, but all that came to crashing halt when at a Toronto train station he suddenly announced it was over after six years of dating bliss. There were no warning signs in her eyes, but then again since there was no sense of closure from Sam, or reasons behind the sudden exit in the relationship, Laura began hoping it was not over.
In the pages of the book, we read about her optimism that it was not over, and that Sam would find his way back to her. Laura began sending text messages, and phoning Sam many times to the point that he told her to leave him alone. Yes rejection is difficult, but there are many times in the book when Laura seemed not able to accept that, and kept year after year hoping he would see the error of his ways, and the two would reunite.
Throughout the book, she uses research examples page after page about thoughts and memories, love denied, love not meant to be, also referencing movies, lots of experts, to the point one views the references as justifications for trying to get back together. She refused to let go, even using her daughter’s Facebook account to talk to him under the premise it was the daughter.
She sent Christmas stockings each year, tracking the progress of it online, until Sam picked it up, Laura imagining he was enjoying it and memories they shared. Sad to say, after four, five, six, seven years and more, Laura kept hoping, getting signs from the universe like if a parking meter gave her coins, or she saw the number 33 which was both key numbers for them, that they might reunite.
Love has no guarantees, and while some may pine for someone and worship them years later, some of us can only say, “there comes a time to let the past stay there.”
January 8, 2023
I loved the combination of memoir with fact / studies / information. What a great way to tell a story and teach important concepts and principles.
I enjoyed studying the topic of heartbreak, being on the other side and working through some more recent grief. I learned a lot and solidified some things i already knew.
What a story of grief! I can't imagine being so heartbroken for so long, for so many years over something that is less of a devastation for the majority of the population.
As others reviewers have stated, at what point do the emails, mail and texts become harassment..... I questioned Sam's sanity as well. Why didn't he change his number? Return to sender? Did by just keep accepting everything the author threw at him? How could he have moved in in life with these bombardments coming at him, out of the blue with some regularity? Of course the author never told us his response, only that there was no response from Sam. I'm sure if he had returned to sender, she would have said as much. Sam is a better man than I (and I'm not a man). I am so curious as to his response to the book!
I enjoyed studying the topic of heartbreak, being on the other side and working through some more recent grief. I learned a lot and solidified some things i already knew.
What a story of grief! I can't imagine being so heartbroken for so long, for so many years over something that is less of a devastation for the majority of the population.
As others reviewers have stated, at what point do the emails, mail and texts become harassment..... I questioned Sam's sanity as well. Why didn't he change his number? Return to sender? Did by just keep accepting everything the author threw at him? How could he have moved in in life with these bombardments coming at him, out of the blue with some regularity? Of course the author never told us his response, only that there was no response from Sam. I'm sure if he had returned to sender, she would have said as much. Sam is a better man than I (and I'm not a man). I am so curious as to his response to the book!
June 30, 2024
Oh boy - so torn on this one. I’m writing my next book on breakups so naturally this felt like a book to check out…however…
As amazing as the research and history of love and heartbreak was…the actual relationship of the author seemed…unhinged to put it lightly . We’ve all done dumb stuff after breakups and suffered greatly from heartbreak…but the way the author stalks and harasses her ex for EIGHT YEARS post relationship seemed not only dangerous to share, but she seemed almost proud of the way she handled it?
I really learned a lot about the body and mind during heartbreak and the writer is obviously very talented but I’m a little shocked someone was willing to publish her personal story? No one along the publishing process thought “maybe this isn’t normal” and that other women shouldn’t read this especially if they’re suffering too? Wild…
As amazing as the research and history of love and heartbreak was…the actual relationship of the author seemed…unhinged to put it lightly . We’ve all done dumb stuff after breakups and suffered greatly from heartbreak…but the way the author stalks and harasses her ex for EIGHT YEARS post relationship seemed not only dangerous to share, but she seemed almost proud of the way she handled it?
I really learned a lot about the body and mind during heartbreak and the writer is obviously very talented but I’m a little shocked someone was willing to publish her personal story? No one along the publishing process thought “maybe this isn’t normal” and that other women shouldn’t read this especially if they’re suffering too? Wild…
January 11, 2023
Beautiful Writing style. Very vulnerable and relatable. I can see why this book gets so many good reviews.
This book wasn't my cup of tea but I can appreciate the good things this book has. Would try another novel by her. Quite good for a non fiction read !
Congratulations to Laura! And thank you to netgalley and the publisher for this arc
This book wasn't my cup of tea but I can appreciate the good things this book has. Would try another novel by her. Quite good for a non fiction read !
Congratulations to Laura! And thank you to netgalley and the publisher for this arc
January 17, 2023
“Such is the arc of heartbreak: feeling sorry first for the loss and then, by degree, for the person who suffered it.”
Laura Pratt spent 6 years in a long distance relationship before it unexpectedly all came crumbling down. As an investigative journalist and having suffered her own heartbreak, Pratt deep dives into literary, psychological, philosophical, and scientific background of love, heartbreak, and recovering in the aftermath.
I sincerely applaud Pratt’s writing style as she has a lovely poetic and descriptive tone that works well for both the memoir and research elements.
There were some points near the end of the book where I felt things dragged on just a tad and got off track. While some of Pratt’s personal way of dealing with heartbreak may make the reader uncomfortable, there is still a lot of the material that one can not only relate too but learn from.
Laura Pratt spent 6 years in a long distance relationship before it unexpectedly all came crumbling down. As an investigative journalist and having suffered her own heartbreak, Pratt deep dives into literary, psychological, philosophical, and scientific background of love, heartbreak, and recovering in the aftermath.
I sincerely applaud Pratt’s writing style as she has a lovely poetic and descriptive tone that works well for both the memoir and research elements.
There were some points near the end of the book where I felt things dragged on just a tad and got off track. While some of Pratt’s personal way of dealing with heartbreak may make the reader uncomfortable, there is still a lot of the material that one can not only relate too but learn from.
November 8, 2023
This was a book that I couldn't bring myself to finish. From the very beginning, I had several issues with it. The author's constant comparison of her heartbreak to the profound grief one experiences when losing a loved one didn't sit well with me. It seemed like a trivialization of genuine grief and a way to elevate her own pain above others'.
But what really bothered me was the author's behaviour towards her ex-partner. It was nothing short of stalking and harassment. I couldn't understand why someone thought it was a good idea to publish a book that glorifies such toxic behaviour. It made me question whether the same leniency would be given if the roles were reversed and a man was writing about relentlessly pursuing and harassing his female ex, despite her pleas for him to stop. It's important to call out such behaviour regardless of the gender of the person involved.
The author's manipulative and narcissistic tendencies are evident throughout the book. She completely disregarded the fact that her ex chose to end the relationship for valid reasons, and she failed to respect his decision. Instead, she acted as if her own desires and wants were more important than his, refusing to leave him alone. This lack of respect for boundaries and personal autonomy was deeply troubling.
In a society that emphasizes consent and respect in relationships, it was disheartening to see the author's complete disregard for these principles. It's important to remember that no one is entitled to another person's time, attention, or affection. Each individual has the right to end a relationship and move on without fear of harassment or intrusion.
Overall, "Heartbroken" left me with a sense of disappointment and concern. I believe it's crucial to critically evaluate the messages and behaviours portrayed in literature, especially when it comes to relationships and personal boundaries. Unfortunately, this book fell short in that regard.
But what really bothered me was the author's behaviour towards her ex-partner. It was nothing short of stalking and harassment. I couldn't understand why someone thought it was a good idea to publish a book that glorifies such toxic behaviour. It made me question whether the same leniency would be given if the roles were reversed and a man was writing about relentlessly pursuing and harassing his female ex, despite her pleas for him to stop. It's important to call out such behaviour regardless of the gender of the person involved.
The author's manipulative and narcissistic tendencies are evident throughout the book. She completely disregarded the fact that her ex chose to end the relationship for valid reasons, and she failed to respect his decision. Instead, she acted as if her own desires and wants were more important than his, refusing to leave him alone. This lack of respect for boundaries and personal autonomy was deeply troubling.
In a society that emphasizes consent and respect in relationships, it was disheartening to see the author's complete disregard for these principles. It's important to remember that no one is entitled to another person's time, attention, or affection. Each individual has the right to end a relationship and move on without fear of harassment or intrusion.
Overall, "Heartbroken" left me with a sense of disappointment and concern. I believe it's crucial to critically evaluate the messages and behaviours portrayed in literature, especially when it comes to relationships and personal boundaries. Unfortunately, this book fell short in that regard.
January 23, 2023
The Review
What struck me immediately upon reading this book was the profound sense of personal experience that somehow still felt all too relatable and engaging to the reader. The balance the author found in this memoir and relationship-driven book between her own personal heartbreak and the study of heartbreak, in general, was great to see. The pain and tragedy of the author’s experiences help to connect readers to the subject matter, as the emotions that influenced her mentality in those early days of the breakup showcased the power that a strong connection and its sudden loss can have, not unlike the sense of loss that comes with losing a loved one in life.
The artistry and almost poetic way the author wrote this book really became the heart of the story here. The insightful and free-flowing research into the subject and history of heartbreak, romance, and love as a whole in regard to the relationships we form was remarkable to watch unfold on the page, and looking at how history has shown the evolution of our thoughts and feelings on love as a people was incredible to read about.
The Verdict
Heartfelt, emotional, and memorable, author Laura Pratt’s “Heartbroken” is a must-read book of nonfiction memoir and relationship storytelling. The way the author is able to share how love and relationships can influence how we respond to and appreciate things like music and memories as a whole was great to see come to life in the author’s writing, and the cultural and historical research that went into the author’s exploration of her own heartbreak made this a truly compelling read.
What struck me immediately upon reading this book was the profound sense of personal experience that somehow still felt all too relatable and engaging to the reader. The balance the author found in this memoir and relationship-driven book between her own personal heartbreak and the study of heartbreak, in general, was great to see. The pain and tragedy of the author’s experiences help to connect readers to the subject matter, as the emotions that influenced her mentality in those early days of the breakup showcased the power that a strong connection and its sudden loss can have, not unlike the sense of loss that comes with losing a loved one in life.
The artistry and almost poetic way the author wrote this book really became the heart of the story here. The insightful and free-flowing research into the subject and history of heartbreak, romance, and love as a whole in regard to the relationships we form was remarkable to watch unfold on the page, and looking at how history has shown the evolution of our thoughts and feelings on love as a people was incredible to read about.
The Verdict
Heartfelt, emotional, and memorable, author Laura Pratt’s “Heartbroken” is a must-read book of nonfiction memoir and relationship storytelling. The way the author is able to share how love and relationships can influence how we respond to and appreciate things like music and memories as a whole was great to see come to life in the author’s writing, and the cultural and historical research that went into the author’s exploration of her own heartbreak made this a truly compelling read.
March 7, 2023
This book leaves me on the fence.
The authors voice and writing are beautiful and easy to read. I could feel the emotions she experienced through the story. I wanted more and more to understand the relationship she had and her motivations to her actions after the break-up.
I enjoyed that the author is local to me and that I could picture the descriptions she gave of Toronto and Montreal which added another layer to the depth.
As for the meat of the novel, I appreciated her mention of self-worth in the beginning of the book in regards to whether a person receives this from a relationship or from elsewhere. It truly felt like the author had based so much of her worth on the relationship and the love she received from Sam that it caused an inability to function once the relationship had run its course. I found I continually struggled with the actions the author took in the years following the break-up.
I recognize that everyone copes differently but I found it hard to read about how much this relationship tore her apart and the power she seemed to allow it over her. It felt like Sam was held on a pedestal that is unattainable for both the writer to move on from or for Sam to have lived up to.
I found the research within the book interesting but was more focused on the actual relationship and her struggles and grief stemming from it. I think this is a deeply personal and raw vision of one woman’s struggle to find themselves after having their heart broken but I walk away from this with more lessons of what not to do than anything else.
⭐️ ⭐️ / 5
The authors voice and writing are beautiful and easy to read. I could feel the emotions she experienced through the story. I wanted more and more to understand the relationship she had and her motivations to her actions after the break-up.
I enjoyed that the author is local to me and that I could picture the descriptions she gave of Toronto and Montreal which added another layer to the depth.
As for the meat of the novel, I appreciated her mention of self-worth in the beginning of the book in regards to whether a person receives this from a relationship or from elsewhere. It truly felt like the author had based so much of her worth on the relationship and the love she received from Sam that it caused an inability to function once the relationship had run its course. I found I continually struggled with the actions the author took in the years following the break-up.
I recognize that everyone copes differently but I found it hard to read about how much this relationship tore her apart and the power she seemed to allow it over her. It felt like Sam was held on a pedestal that is unattainable for both the writer to move on from or for Sam to have lived up to.
I found the research within the book interesting but was more focused on the actual relationship and her struggles and grief stemming from it. I think this is a deeply personal and raw vision of one woman’s struggle to find themselves after having their heart broken but I walk away from this with more lessons of what not to do than anything else.
⭐️ ⭐️ / 5
January 5, 2023
If you enjoy reading memoirs about love and heartbreak and all that that entails, with a dash of psychology and philosophy mixed in, I encourage you to pick up HEARTBROKEN.
Laura Pratt is an excellent writer. Her writing is full of emotion. It is visceral without being corny. There is a lot of pining in this story—A LOT—and to manage to do it throughout 284 pages without the corn is no easy feat.
Personally, I love love. I love reading and hearing about romantic love. It might be ironic that I don’t do well with contemporary romance, but I prefer my reads about love to be literary as hell. With that said, reading about heartbreak when you’re currently experiencing the complete opposite when it comes to love is a bit jarring and can lend itself to impatience. At the same time, these emotions are universal, which keeps this book appropriate for anyone.
I really enjoyed the research and other musings on love, happiness, grief, etc., that Pratt cites throughout to supplement her own memories. I think this is what carried me through the book.
I question the choice to bare all love letters and intimate moments with a [former] partner for all the world to read, but then, I’m not a writer, and if not for people’s experiences, what stories would be left to tell?
Thank you @penguinrandomca for this copy in exchange for an honest review.
HEARTBROKEN comes out on January 10th
Laura Pratt is an excellent writer. Her writing is full of emotion. It is visceral without being corny. There is a lot of pining in this story—A LOT—and to manage to do it throughout 284 pages without the corn is no easy feat.
Personally, I love love. I love reading and hearing about romantic love. It might be ironic that I don’t do well with contemporary romance, but I prefer my reads about love to be literary as hell. With that said, reading about heartbreak when you’re currently experiencing the complete opposite when it comes to love is a bit jarring and can lend itself to impatience. At the same time, these emotions are universal, which keeps this book appropriate for anyone.
I really enjoyed the research and other musings on love, happiness, grief, etc., that Pratt cites throughout to supplement her own memories. I think this is what carried me through the book.
I question the choice to bare all love letters and intimate moments with a [former] partner for all the world to read, but then, I’m not a writer, and if not for people’s experiences, what stories would be left to tell?
Thank you @penguinrandomca for this copy in exchange for an honest review.
HEARTBROKEN comes out on January 10th
January 18, 2023
Heartbroken is a memoir about just that, heartbreak. The author, Laura Pratt, writes about how she felt when her 6-year relationship came to a close suddenly. Pratt writes about her process of dealing with this separation and uses research to back up her feelings.
Like a lot of people, I'm conflicted about this memoir. On one hand, I completely sympathized with the author's pain and how heartbreak can be an incredibly difficult thing to deal with. She conveyed beautifully how heartbreak is not just a simple status change to singledom, it's also a grand life change that has many repercussions.
On the other hand, I find that sometimes it felt like she needed to back up the way she was feeling with research which in some cases worked, but in most, didn't. Some of the philosophical and psychological points were extremely interesting and insightful but others didn't quite hit the mark such as comparing heartbreak to death which is quite the risk for criticism.
I personally had a hard time accepting her devotion to this man that clearly wanted to move on. It pained me to read about someone so in love with another person that didn't seem to feel the same way back. I would have liked to read about how she tried to move on from the separation rather than how she stayed in this state for so many years after the breakup.
Overall, it was still an interesting read of a personal account of heartbreak.
Like a lot of people, I'm conflicted about this memoir. On one hand, I completely sympathized with the author's pain and how heartbreak can be an incredibly difficult thing to deal with. She conveyed beautifully how heartbreak is not just a simple status change to singledom, it's also a grand life change that has many repercussions.
On the other hand, I find that sometimes it felt like she needed to back up the way she was feeling with research which in some cases worked, but in most, didn't. Some of the philosophical and psychological points were extremely interesting and insightful but others didn't quite hit the mark such as comparing heartbreak to death which is quite the risk for criticism.
I personally had a hard time accepting her devotion to this man that clearly wanted to move on. It pained me to read about someone so in love with another person that didn't seem to feel the same way back. I would have liked to read about how she tried to move on from the separation rather than how she stayed in this state for so many years after the breakup.
Overall, it was still an interesting read of a personal account of heartbreak.
January 15, 2023
I do not always like to review biographies, who am I to judge? Sometimes you can learn from a biography which is why I like to read them. In this case there are red flags of what not to do after a breakup. In Heartbroken Laura Pratt writes about getting over a breakup. It takes her six years! She writes a lot; she has a lot to deal with. Everyone deals differently. She continued to write and email her x perhaps therapeutic for her but maybe harassment for him, hmm.
Pratt is a beautiful writer; she is very descriptive, and her prose is strong. As she states it is a hybrid style. She adds that the personal threads of the book are sewn into a wide range of material that draws deeply from academic sources: social science, psychology, physiology, history, and philosophy. It’s a lot! She quotes literature and poetry, this is nice. Note as she writes not only is she learning but she is teaching. She does provide a lot of information that many readers may find useful.
Thank you NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book in return for an honest review.
Pratt is a beautiful writer; she is very descriptive, and her prose is strong. As she states it is a hybrid style. She adds that the personal threads of the book are sewn into a wide range of material that draws deeply from academic sources: social science, psychology, physiology, history, and philosophy. It’s a lot! She quotes literature and poetry, this is nice. Note as she writes not only is she learning but she is teaching. She does provide a lot of information that many readers may find useful.
Thank you NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book in return for an honest review.
March 14, 2023
First off, I hate rating memoirs. I don’t think people should rate someone’s life experiences.
So please take my rating as just how I enjoyed reading this.
There is no denying that Laura is a wonderfully talented writer. The way in which she can communicate and express her emotions so vividly with readers is beautiful.
This book is full of grief and despair from the authors break up. Honestly, the beginning had me hooked! However, as it went on, what I saw was delusional and toxic behaviour and the inability to respect Sam’s boundaries of no contact.
I understand the inherent need for closure but I personally took issue with the way in which she went about trying to get it.
Now, this could be targeted better to people going through a heartbreak. So, overall this just wasn’t for me.
I will say, it was beautifully written though and she has undeniable talent as a writer. This just left me feeling more concerned about how Sam is handling this and hoping the author can let this go and leave him alone.
Thank you Penguin Random House Canada for the ARC copy of this memoir.
So please take my rating as just how I enjoyed reading this.
There is no denying that Laura is a wonderfully talented writer. The way in which she can communicate and express her emotions so vividly with readers is beautiful.
This book is full of grief and despair from the authors break up. Honestly, the beginning had me hooked! However, as it went on, what I saw was delusional and toxic behaviour and the inability to respect Sam’s boundaries of no contact.
I understand the inherent need for closure but I personally took issue with the way in which she went about trying to get it.
Now, this could be targeted better to people going through a heartbreak. So, overall this just wasn’t for me.
I will say, it was beautifully written though and she has undeniable talent as a writer. This just left me feeling more concerned about how Sam is handling this and hoping the author can let this go and leave him alone.
Thank you Penguin Random House Canada for the ARC copy of this memoir.
April 9, 2023
I have to join the "not into it" group.
First, I found her idealization of their relationship to be rather cloying; it was almost as if he was some kind of idol and she was prostrate in front of him. Yes, it was an enjoyable relationship for quite some time, but the fact that he dumped her so abruptly says to me she was ignoring a lot of negative clues.
Second, her endless mourning of the loss of him and her (also) endless pursuit of him made me wince. I appreciate that he had left and come back before - and hence gave her hope - but did it never occur to her that, in the 8 YEARS she has spent begging him to come back/acknowledge her/whatever that he might actually have a girlfriend? (Or two? or three?) And that he might be spending his time fantasizing about that woman, rather than her?
I did find the bits where she introduced information about heartbreak to be somewhat interesting, but not enough to slog through the rest. I found myself glossing over pages and pages and pages. I should have paid better attention to the words in the subtitle: "constant condition".
First, I found her idealization of their relationship to be rather cloying; it was almost as if he was some kind of idol and she was prostrate in front of him. Yes, it was an enjoyable relationship for quite some time, but the fact that he dumped her so abruptly says to me she was ignoring a lot of negative clues.
Second, her endless mourning of the loss of him and her (also) endless pursuit of him made me wince. I appreciate that he had left and come back before - and hence gave her hope - but did it never occur to her that, in the 8 YEARS she has spent begging him to come back/acknowledge her/whatever that he might actually have a girlfriend? (Or two? or three?) And that he might be spending his time fantasizing about that woman, rather than her?
I did find the bits where she introduced information about heartbreak to be somewhat interesting, but not enough to slog through the rest. I found myself glossing over pages and pages and pages. I should have paid better attention to the words in the subtitle: "constant condition".
April 20, 2024
DNF (37%)
I don't remember how this book got my attention but it took my library 6 months until I could finally pick it up and read it.
I am disappointed. To me, it read like an article in The Atlantic that got a little too long. I disliked all the whining and yearning over a man who told the main character very clearly that the relationship was over. It's insane that the main character, after having broken up with her partner for months and even years, is still writing him emails such as "I am in so much pain. Please take me out of my mystery." Not to mention that she got her child's Facebook log-ins to stalk her ex-boyfriend. Not cool. Especially for the fact that this lady is in her 40's I sometimes though she behaves like a teenager that has been ditched the first time.
The story just dragged on and sprinkled in with some science on grief and loss, it just became boring. Too bring for me to finish.
I don't remember how this book got my attention but it took my library 6 months until I could finally pick it up and read it.
I am disappointed. To me, it read like an article in The Atlantic that got a little too long. I disliked all the whining and yearning over a man who told the main character very clearly that the relationship was over. It's insane that the main character, after having broken up with her partner for months and even years, is still writing him emails such as "I am in so much pain. Please take me out of my mystery." Not to mention that she got her child's Facebook log-ins to stalk her ex-boyfriend. Not cool. Especially for the fact that this lady is in her 40's I sometimes though she behaves like a teenager that has been ditched the first time.
The story just dragged on and sprinkled in with some science on grief and loss, it just became boring. Too bring for me to finish.
February 19, 2023
As someone who has known a large amount of heartbreak in my life, I found this book relatively disturbing. What started as a sad story of love lost, turned into an 8 year obsession (that likely continues). Laura Pratt is well written and poetic in parts. While I personally didn't enjoy the jumping from story to scientific evidence, some of the studies were interesting and affirming to someone experiencing loss and grief.
I truly hope the author gets some help. I personally agree with another review that said this book was to get attention from her ex. Even at the end of this book, she thinks that eventually he will come back. I hope she learns to love herself first and foremost and continue to prioritize her children, rather than obsessing over someone that clearly doesn't want to be with her.
I truly hope the author gets some help. I personally agree with another review that said this book was to get attention from her ex. Even at the end of this book, she thinks that eventually he will come back. I hope she learns to love herself first and foremost and continue to prioritize her children, rather than obsessing over someone that clearly doesn't want to be with her.
April 2, 2023
A heart rendering memoir by Laura Pratt written in lyrical prose as the author invites us into her heartbreak spanning a sudden end to a six-year relationship of the heart with no warning, just left to wonder what on earth happened to end her bliss. Also written as somewhat of a grief diary as Pratt conjures personal memories of her heartbreak. In this palpable writing, we feel the heartache along with the author as it is entwined with psychological research on conditions of the heart - broken heart syndrome, exuding love and the psychological heartbreak effects. In her telling, we learn that not everyone can just 'move on' from deep love lost.
This book is an observation of love and heartache in its pure rawness, vulnerability, and the festering of ongoing grief when the heart doesn't reach acceptance.
I was given an ARC of this book by Netgalley.
This book is an observation of love and heartache in its pure rawness, vulnerability, and the festering of ongoing grief when the heart doesn't reach acceptance.
I was given an ARC of this book by Netgalley.
September 21, 2023
This book blew me away, one of my best reads of 2023! I'm extremely surprised the aggregate rating is not higher. Laura Pratt obviously has an extraordinary gift for writing, with each paragraph so rich in description and emotion. Having had difficulty getting over someone in the past, with a significantly shorter relationship than hers, I felt so much empathy and understanding throughout the book. Her description of the passage of time, key "milestones" and how it related to the past relationship, was bittersweet and something I could also relate to. It was an absolute page-turner and I was so curious to find out how the story ultimately ended with her ex. Laura, thank you for being so brave to be so refreshingly honest about such a devastating period in your life.
December 11, 2024
This book hurt to read, the authors pain was so palpable. Six years in and her sorrow and loss continue to permeate her identity which made me curious about her 4 children and simply wonder about her capacity to parent.
I did love the research about grief and the poetry of unrequited love. What made me pause though was her inability to move forward and simply get past her magical thinking ( thank you Joan Didion). I was curious too about her own history of attachment and why this particular BF leaving, made her crumble and crash. As in crash and burn with absolutely no shame, or regard for her sense of self.
Truly hope it’s that writing this was cathartic and I’d love to hear from “Sam” and his perspective.
I did love the research about grief and the poetry of unrequited love. What made me pause though was her inability to move forward and simply get past her magical thinking ( thank you Joan Didion). I was curious too about her own history of attachment and why this particular BF leaving, made her crumble and crash. As in crash and burn with absolutely no shame, or regard for her sense of self.
Truly hope it’s that writing this was cathartic and I’d love to hear from “Sam” and his perspective.
January 14, 2023
I really tried to sympathize with Laura when her partner of 6 years, Sam, tells her it’s over. That being said it was extremely difficult as the years go on and she’s still texting and emailing him. It feels that she’s only taking her feelings into account and not Sam’s. He deserves to have the chance to move one and she never seems to actually care about his feels or needs.
This book was not for me at all. I needed up skimming the enormous amounts of details about grief as I really just wanted to read about their breakup and not everything else.
Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House Canada for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
This book was not for me at all. I needed up skimming the enormous amounts of details about grief as I really just wanted to read about their breakup and not everything else.
Thank you to NetGalley and Penguin Random House Canada for an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest opinion.
January 2, 2025
“If he didn’t kick shut the door, I would imagine a crack. There was no kick and the crack consumed me. Throughout my penance, I stayed alive and perceived the suns passage across the sky. And that was all.”
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3.5
is it “healthy”? of course not. it’s heartbreak lol. heartbreak (especially the one-sided unexpected severing kind) is inherently pathetic and illogical and there were moments when her desperation made me want to cringe out of my skin. but i respect the incredible amount of vulnerability to put the most embarrassing parts of your despair out into the world. a true romantic, to reach through the grief of lost love and give it whatever meaning she can find.
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3.5
is it “healthy”? of course not. it’s heartbreak lol. heartbreak (especially the one-sided unexpected severing kind) is inherently pathetic and illogical and there were moments when her desperation made me want to cringe out of my skin. but i respect the incredible amount of vulnerability to put the most embarrassing parts of your despair out into the world. a true romantic, to reach through the grief of lost love and give it whatever meaning she can find.
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