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Curious?: Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life

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Embrace uncertainty.

Attract love and abundance.

Master your life.

Aren't you curious to know more?

In Curious? Dr. Todd Kashdan offers a profound new message missing from so many books on the greatest opportunities for joy, purpose, and personal growth don't, in fact, happen when we're searching for happiness. They happen when we are mindful, when we explore what's novel, when we live in the moment, when we are open to new experiences and relish the unknown.

Using science, story, and practical exercises, Dr. Kashdan offers a blueprint for building lasting, meaningful relationships, improving health, increasing creativity, and boosting productivity. You, too, can become a "curious explorer" comfortable with risk and challenge, capable of functioning optimally in an unstable, unpredictable world.

352 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2009

151 people are currently reading
1402 people want to read

About the author

Todd Kashdan

9 books150 followers
Dr. Todd B. Kashdan's broad mission is to increase the amount of well-being in this world as a professor, scientist, author, and consultant. He uses cutting-edge science to help people function optimally in life and business. He is the author of three books.

He is a Professor of Psychology at George Mason University. He received the Distinguished Scientific Early Career Award from the American Psychological Association and the Distinguished Faculty Member of the Year Award. He has been cited over 56,000 times with the publication of over 260 scholarly articles. He's a twin with twin 18-year-old daughters (plus one more), with plans to rapidly populate the world with great conversationalists.

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5 stars
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145 (29%)
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153 (31%)
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44 (8%)
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12 (2%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
Profile Image for Shelley.
2 reviews3 followers
July 9, 2009
Not exactly what I was expecting, and I certainly couldn't recommend it, but we can always find something that sparks thinking. The premise is that the most important ingredient for a fuifilling life is curiosity. The importance of curiosity to education can't be overstated. He cites Sylvan Tomkins who says, "The importance of curiosity to thought and memory are so extensive that the absence...would jeopardize intellectual development no less than destruction of brain tissue...there is no human competence which can be achieved in the absence of a sustaining interest." This book iterates Csíkszentmihályi's research into creativity and "flow": we need to have both challenge and support (or skill) to be curious: anxiety and boredom squash curiosity (and learning). ”
33 reviews
January 26, 2010
First heard about this book as it was being discussed on National Public Radio (NPR) - locally WAMU here in Washington DC.

I pulled over, found a bookstore, and bought the book!

Once I read it, I e-mailed the author, Dr. Todd Kashdan.


It's been nearly 25 years sine I felt compelled to read a book on
> Psychology. But I just finished your book, and I was enthralled. So many
> great applications- for myself, for my relationship with my wife, for my
> young adult children who are bright but painfully self conscious.
>
> I became determined to write to you for two reasons:
>
> 1) Having heard you on NPR, I was intrigued by Zen Buddhist themes in your
> methodology. In a true NPR moment", I pulled off the road, and went
> straight to Barnes and Noble to buy your book- GREAT COVER , by the way;
>
> 2) The amazing flow of your book- as if you seem to anticipate the reader's
> next question or concern. The book intuitively flows to the next question.
>
> Thank you the book. I plan on sharing and discussing with everyone I
> know.
>
>
Profile Image for Dana.
104 reviews2 followers
January 2, 2015
I have to return this book to the library today. Here are a few quotes that I've enjoyed so far:

"Instead of constantly trying to be happy, we should focus on building a rich, meaningful life, guided by our core values and interests."

"Novelty is different. We often pay attention to the unfamiliar and listen to new people because they grab our attention...There is much to learn from the unfamiliar and the familiar. No two hugs are the same, no two pizzerias make pizza slices the same way, no two times we watch The God father are the same, and so it goes. Being curious is about recognizing novelty and seizing the pleasures and meaning that they offer us...It's not about whether we pay attention but how we pay attention to what is happening in the present."

"It's not about being attentive; it's about the quality of our attention...It's more than feeling good in the memento, it's more than taking advantage of novelty in front of us, it's an attitude toward living."

"...Curiosity motivates us. This is captured by our greater interest in and preference for new experiences and information. When we experience curiosity we are willing to leave the familiar and routine and take risks, even if it makes us feel anxious and uncomfortable. Those who deal better with novelty, who function more optimally in a world that is unpredictable, uncertain, and unstable, I call "curious explorers." Curious explores are comfortable with the risk of taking on challenges. In fact, the most curious among us actually lust for the new."

"Rules are useful because they provide structure and help us avoid doubt and uncertainty. But they get in the way of freedom. Following directions conserves energy, but following one's unique direction expands energy."

"Most people overestimate risk, failure, and danger and underestimate the value of being curious."

"If we want to prolong positive experiences, if we want a more fulfilling existence, we need a new mindset. Acting on our curiosity is the alternative to seeking closure and certainty. What gets in the way of our ability to adapt and return to our regular routine is the same thing we try so hard to get rid of: novelty and uncertainty. As long as something is novel, we are still in the process of finding and creating meaning. When something is uncertain, there are multiple possible outcomes for what can happen next. The ending is unclear and thus, the event is still ongoing. Curiosity is different than other ways of being fulfilled in that it's about appreciating and seeking out the new. It's about being flexible, recognizing the novelty and freshness of the familiar. Instead of trying desperately to explain and control our world, as a curious explorer we embrace uncertainty. Instead of trying to be certain and confident, we see our lives as an enjoyable quest to discover, learn and grow. There is nothing to solve, there is no battle waged within us to avoid the tension of being unsure. We don't take positive events for granted, we investigate and explore them further. Recent scientific findings show that when we are open to new experiences, when are flexible in how we approach people and tasks, when we relish how the unknown far outweighs what we know, positive events linger longer and we extract more pleasure and meaning from our world."

"Curiosity is at the heart of resilience and recovery."

"There is a simple story line for how curiosity is the engine of growth. By being curious, we explore. By exploring, we discover. When this is satisfying, we are more likely to repeat it. By repeating it, we develop competence and mastery. By developing competence and mastery, our knowledge and skills grow. As our knowledge and skills grow, we stretch and expand who we are and what our life is about. By dealing with novelty, we become more experienced and intelligent, and infuse our lives with meaning. Curiosity begets more curiosity because the more we know, the more details that we attend to, the more we realize what there is to learn. Why? When we embrace the unknown, our perspective hangs, and we begin to recognize gaps—literally and figurative—that weren't apparent before."

"The two factors that had the strongest influence on how much enjoyment a person experienced on a given day were "being able to count on someone for help" and "learned something yesterday. What this study confirms is that developing good relationships with other people, seeking out the new, and growing as a person are keys to a "happy" life."
Profile Image for Sara.
12 reviews11 followers
January 13, 2018
First few chapters make the case for curiosity - key for a fulfilling life, evolutionarily central, more achievable than happiness. Also show that curiosity and mindfulness are very closely related.

For me the core chapters were the middle ones:

Curiosity in the moment is indeed very closely related to mindfulness. Offers various suggestions on ways to bring a beginner's mind to day to day life: purposefully noticing how you spend your time and how that affects you; exploring activities you would never consider ordinarily and looking for 3 novel things about them; engaging our strengths.

Creating lasting interests takes this one step further - how do you nurture sparks and let them grow big for lifelong interests? I found the content here somewhat lacking. There are suggestions on connecting with values, sharing with others, and some thoughts on increasing interest at work (again, strengths, little challenges, looking for novelty).

The last few chapters tackle: the role of curiosity in relationships (make sure to try new things together!); curiosity as an antidote to anxiety; the morbid dark side of curiosity; and finally curiosity as a path to life purpose.

Overall I felt the book was too long and not practical enough given what I was looking for. I would have liked lots of small practical examples of for example how people created lasting interests in their lives. I found that the value of the book was only in 2-3 chapters.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
Profile Image for Janet Frost.
524 reviews3 followers
November 8, 2015
This was the last of three books in my in-depth research into Curiosity. This book was pack full of fascinating studies and theories on the subject.While I complained about the book by Brian Grazer being devoid of science, this one was a gold mine. I was reluctant to take it back to the library because I know I would like to follow up on many of the references shared in the book.
I have to admit that I don't have my endurance for long non-fiction built up yet so I did get kind of bogged down towards the end. I guess the last chapter on "meaning of life" lost me. That seems to get to be a very esoteric discussion after a while. Overall, I took tons of notes from this book and find myself thinking about ti often.
Profile Image for Kiera Beddes.
1,101 reviews21 followers
November 11, 2016
I will be the first to admit that I totally judge a book by it's cover. So, yes, while the cover is not compelling, how can you not listen to a book with just the title Curious? Of course I'm curious! I need to know what is in this book! And I'm glad I did. It was fascinating. I consider myself a curious person, so it was interesting to investigate the psychology of curious minds and how that impacts all aspects of a person's life: career, relationships, personal fulfillment, etc. It reminds me of a quote attributed to Albert Einstein, "I have no special talents, I am only passionately curious." To live a life fully invested, interested and engaged; to be passionately curious about the things and people you fill your life with? Oh, what a life that would be.
Profile Image for Kris Hintz.
Author 1 book4 followers
March 31, 2012
This book hits on the missing ingredient in so many lives, which I also believe is the cornerstone of happiness. Curiosity, the search for the novel, leads to true passion and engagement in life. The author cogently made this point through research and anecdotal story. I do feel that once the point was made, there was some redundancy in "making the sale" (thus four stars instead of five). But this book has given me a new perspective, a new way of approaching social interactions, that makes life more of an adventure.
Profile Image for Kevin McAllister.
548 reviews32 followers
March 7, 2009
Curious ? Well of course I am. Which is why I just couldn't resist a book simply titled "Curious ?" I was expecting something with a scientific or anthropological point of view but unfortunately, the book turned out to be nothing more than a simple self help book. And after reading this book the only thing I'm curious about is why people bother to read these kind of books anyway ?
118 reviews4 followers
September 23, 2009
This book reminded me of Jonathan Haidt's "The Happiness Hypothesis" in its subject matter and applicability to creating a life worth experiencing. A good reminder of how to focus our energies in the present moment and constantly be expanding ourselves and our perceptions, plus how to help mitigate anxiety by exploring things that make us uncomfortable.
Profile Image for Laura Skladzinski.
1,250 reviews41 followers
July 5, 2017
This was okay, but nowhere near as good as "The Upside of Your Dark Side" - it just didn't draw me in quite as much, even though the topic was interesting. There is definitely a strong argument to be made for trying to become more curious rather than blase, but this book wasn't very compelling in how it made that argument.
Profile Image for Dushan.
4 reviews
September 23, 2017
I enjoyed this book throughly! Great help towards seeing why one's curiosity is a good habit.
81 reviews
March 29, 2023
Author Dr. Todd Kashdan ISBN: 978 0 06 166118 1

I got this book from an online class continuing education meeting. I found it interesting because it really takes a look at what can make people successful, happy and basically different from the animals. Right from the start the author describes how people seek happiness and how life and personalities are multidimensional.

Chapter 1 - The author, Todd Kashdan, basically says not to seek happiness but live your life and stumble upon it. The author states that curiosity is hardwired into us. When we discover new stuff it is a bonus to us. He says we should question things and allow our curiosity to grow. As curiosity grows it helps to influence us and rules some of us.

Chapter 2 – Todd states that by age 30 we find that our curiosity is dampened and thus our potential for a satisfying life is less likely. He theorizes that more curious people live longer and that we can become more curious in later years. He states that intelligence is good but that it is really curiosity that links us to long term success. This seems like it may be the case since the most intelligent people are not always the most successful.

Chapter 3 – The author speaks of our ancestors as building knowledge and satisfaction on a trial and error basis. He stated that evolution favored those that prepared to survive. He goes on to state that institutional knowledge has benefited us all and curious folks have benefited us all as well. When a curious person was killed or hurt by an animal or other situation society learned.

Chapter 4 – The book goes on to state that we can trick our mind into happiness. Todd says that 20% of our day involves activities that do not lead us to be satisfied. He adds that getting interested in something changes your mood and thus your level of satisfaction with life.

Chapter 5 – He continues in chapter 5 by stating that people should make a conscious choice to be more curious since it could benefit them. He urges the reader to find your strengths and to use them to be curious. Sometime later Todd describes his own change of careers with his personal choice to leave Wall Street and get into psychology which is what he loved. He makes a good case that one can discipline their mind to adopt behaviors that are not pleasurable but can be helpful.

Chapter 6 – Todd speaks of how he met his wife and the courtship. His point seems to center on the expansion of oneself through interaction of others. He makes the point that we must widen our interests and seek things to do and to get interested in. He also says that as we age we find it harder to meet our social needs.

Chapter 7 – The author talks about humans having an anxiety knob and an exploration knob. We must learn to manage anxiety and we do not have to have a fixed attitude toward anxiety. We must attack opportunity and explore life. We must manage our fear and recognize that experience stops fear.

Chapter 8 – In chapter 8 Todd talks of the dark side of curiosity. He speaks of the way we get obsessed with things that are not productive for us. The example he gives is rubbernecking on the highway. He gives the example of John Hinkley, the shooter of President Reagan. Apparently, Hinkley did so to impress actress Jodie foster. He gives other examples, but the point is that there is also a dark and nonproductive side to curiosity.

Chapter 9 –He finishes the book by stating that the young must be curious. He mentions that one must act on their curiosity and be proactive. He cautions us to not get trapped in habits.
Basically Todd makes the point that curiosity leads to more effectiveness, happiness and satisfaction in life.

Mark D
Profile Image for Marilyn Jess.
117 reviews8 followers
January 26, 2021
Todd Kashdan’s book Curious? was one of fifteen books I was required to read for an advanced coaching certification I was taking in 2011-2012. It was my favorite of the fifteen. It is no less powerful ten years later.

Curiosity is one of the strengths that makes for a masterful coach, and for a life well lived. Written in an easy to understand way, Curious? would be useful for anyone wanting to get to know themselves better.

This book explores curiosity from a number of angles, positive and darker, and includes practice exercises that anyone can use to learn more about oneself and others.

Highly recommended.
100 reviews
December 19, 2019
I really enjoyed this take on how to live a fulfilling life. Most people focus on finding happiness, but this book says the best things come when you approach life with curiosity. That it is curiosity that leads to connection, fulfillment, purpose, and novel things that keep life interesting. The anecdotes and data is fascinating. Some of his analogies though are rather elementary, but message still sticks. It's definitely an interesting thought.
Profile Image for Kristian.
22 reviews
July 15, 2019
I heard about this book in a presentation about student success. The "success" was attributed in part to the presence of curiosity. Definitely secular in the "curiosity as a path to a meaningful life" ideation, but it had some very thoughtful points about how to develop and nurture curiosity and mindfulness in anyone's life. Very interesting read.
Profile Image for Jana.
109 reviews3 followers
May 31, 2021
There were many tidbits in the first half of the book that I actually took time to write in my notebook. So I’ll say 3.5 stars for the bits that actually gave me food for thought. It wasn’t life-changing or really that memorable as a book.
1 review
February 7, 2023
I stumbled across this book while I was battling against anxiety. Kashdan Makes an excellent claim about curiosity and how to use the innate skill which everyone has to live a fulfilling life. The Book has more anecdotes than Data.
Profile Image for Kristin.
435 reviews10 followers
December 23, 2018
Offers an interesting perspective of how life can be better lived when we are curious. A lot of great ideas and insights.
Profile Image for Cindy.
569 reviews2 followers
June 25, 2020
Recommended to me by my health coach. Meh.
Profile Image for Raquel.
78 reviews
June 30, 2020
I consider myself a curious & open person, Curious gave me a confidence boast & a statistical reasons to be proud of my value in always being curious.
Profile Image for Rocky Locky.
17 reviews
April 8, 2024
3.5 stars
My experience was one of validation. A week later, I'm not sure I learned anything new, but it further strengthened my belief in the super power that is curiosity.
17 reviews
October 21, 2021
I agree with the main point of the book ( curiosity ) but , what's new about it ? nothing , we train pre-school children to be curious , look for the unseen , read between the lines , search for the other side of the story , find out the secrets of nature , even think of your body , how it works ? !

YES, the essence of life is contemplation ( pursue for wisdom )

There is a verse in the ( QURAN ) chapter 3 , verse 191 :
Those who remember Allah when standing, sitting, and on their sides, and contemplate upon the creation of the heavens and the earth (saying:) 'Lord, You have not created these in falsehood. Exaltations to You! Guard us against the punishment of the Fire.

This is a clear and direct call for curiosity .
Profile Image for Ann Oliveri.
58 reviews
October 16, 2015
I always thought my inherent optimism and sense of humor were my most important assets. I was wrong. Curiosity is my superpower. So grateful for stumbling into Todd Kashdan's book, Curious?! It is the antidote to the fear, hatred, and dogmatism now rampant in our once open, inquiring society.

"Unfortunately, there are costs to working hard to feel safe, secure, and confident. We often end up shutting down our search for information too early in the process. In essence, we quickly become close-minded. We protect our beliefs even when they might be wrong. If someone shares our views, we praise them; if someone questions or challenges our views, we criticize, attack, and discount them.

"Lack of curiosity is a breeding ground for:

Stereotyping and discrimination, that in the extreme leads to hatred and even violence

Inflated confidence and ignorance that leads to poor decisions

Dogmatism and rigid thinking, which is the opposite of psychological flexibility

"We need to be wary of the need for certainty. Seeking certitude can cause our beliefs and decision making to crystallize prematurely, and the resulting reluctance to consider new information can hurt us in the long run. From the research on this topic, we know the sad irony that the greater a person’s need for certainty, the more confident they are that their ideas are “right.”
Profile Image for Chara.
16 reviews1 follower
December 28, 2024
Excellent book. I really enjoyed this and will take this information to heart to help me live a more fulfilling life.
Profile Image for Rachel.
117 reviews
Want to read
April 8, 2009
In her blog The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin interviewed author Todd Kashdan in the April 7, 2009 post. She introduced him as "a positive-psychology professor at George Mason University whose work I follow with special interest. He studies many fascinating subjects — among other things, self-regulation and how personal strengths operate in everyday life." Kashdan, too, has a blog. His is called Curious? and is linked to other Psychology Today blogs. After I get my daily dose of Doonesbury, these blogs are the sort of quick reads - food for thought and a burst of positive energy - I've been seeking out recently during workday breaks.
Profile Image for Deb.
349 reviews89 followers
February 26, 2012
*Curiosity saves the life*

If the pursuit of happiness is driving you mad, Kashdan's book may provide some much-deserved relief. Instead of focusing on concrete goals and other tangibles, Kashdan's approach shows how curiosity coupled with mindfulness can be our best guides to a more meaningful and satisfying life. By challenging the comfortably temping status quo and becoming "curious explorers," we can be more engaged in the process of being. Curiously enough, the byproduct of this process is often happiness. Backed by research and written with passion, _Curious_ is a fulfilling read which can ultimately lead to a more fulfilling life.
Profile Image for Willow.
806 reviews14 followers
November 13, 2009
My education professor leant me this book for the project I am doing on curiosity in the classroom. It looked like it would be helpful, but Curious? is actually a self-help book about how to find a way to make one's life more meaningful. I'm not really into the whole "self-help" book thing...but this one was interesting in places. The writing is good, some of the anecdotes are interesting, and the data is intriguing.
Kashdan's book was not helpful to my project but I wasn't bored reading it, and I learned some things about how to structure my day.
Profile Image for Chris Nagel.
303 reviews8 followers
July 30, 2013
The main thing this book made me curious about is what it means to establish something as true in the self-help book business. I don't mean that as an insult. Kashdan's premises are preposterous, but he does present the value of curiosity (which could be called open-mindedness, or just openness). If making life better were as simple as self-help books seem to suggest, why would there be so many? Perhaps only because different people need different messages, or almost the exact same message in different words.
Profile Image for Shelley.
2,509 reviews161 followers
February 27, 2014
The idea is that curiosity is the antidote to anxiety and being stuck in your life, so be curious and explore and learn and engage with people and ideas. The thesis is sound, the chapter break downs looked very interesting and promising but the end result wasn't there. It was a mash of some anecdata, but not a lot, and some research based things, but not a lot, and some background from his years as a therapist, but not a lot. I could have gotten that opening sentence from the introduction and stopped there.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews

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