Truth and Repair: How Trauma Survivors Envision Justice

by Judith Lewis Herman

From one of America’s most influential psychiatrists, an “extraordinary” and “profound” ( New York Times ) manifesto for reimagining justice for survivors of sexual trauma

The #MeToo movement brought worldwide attention to sexual violence, but while the media focused on the fates of a few notorious predators who were put on trial, we heard far less about the outcomes of those trials for the survivors of their abuse. 
  
The conventional retributive process fails to serve most survivors; it was never designed for them. Renowned trauma expert Judith L. Herman argues that the first step toward a better form of justice is simply to ask survivors what would make things as right as possible for them. In Truth and Repair , she commits the radical act of listening to survivors. Recounting their stories, she offers an alternative vision of justice as healing for survivors and their communities. 
  
Deeply researched and compassionately told, Truth and Repair envisions a new path to justice for all. 

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Social Justice, Feminism, Social Work, Self Help

272 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2023

About the author

Judith Lewis Herman is an author, psychiatrist, researcher, and teacher whose work has dealt with understanding and treating the effects of traumatic stress and incest.

Reviews

[Milo · Rating 2 out of 5]

2 stars. ‘Truth and Repair’ by by Judith L. Herman is a pretty remarkable book that delves into the aftermath of sexual abuse, rape, assault, and trauma on survivors, providing invaluable insights into their healing process and quests fr justice. While the book serves as a crucial resource in addressing the needs of survivors and their paths toward recovery, there is one aspect I believe that warrants discussion, and which is what dropped me down frm 4 or 5 stars.

Herman’s exploration of the global sex industry, juxtaposing it at one point with the well-known institutional complicity of the Catholic Church in child sexual abuse, invites reflection. It is hopefully understandable to most how this particular aspect soured the reading experience fr me, and maybe other readers as well. The conflation of sex work and sex trafficking, which are distinct and should be treated as such, may create an unintended generalisation. She also claims that the Nordic Model, a legal framework adopted by some countries in Northern Europe, including Sweden and Norway, where the sale of sex is not criminalised, but the purchase and third-party involvement in sex work are illegal, is more effective than full decriminalisation. This is categorically untrue, as there are rarely good outcomes when sex work becomes heavily regulated by the state and police, as supporters for legalising sex work or fr the criminalising of clients but not workers have historically seen sex workers as vectors of disease or symbols of disorder who need to be controlled. The Nordic Model still pushes sex workers further underground, making it more dangerous fr those involved, as criminalisation discourages the reporting of violence or seeking help. Critics of the Nordic Model suggest that full decrim is a better approach, and decrim promotes the rights, health, and safety of sex workers, while allowing fr better support systems to address potential issues. Sex work is dangerous because of how it is treated by society, not because sex work itself is inherently dangerous, and Judith Herman seems unable to recognise this.

However, it is still essential to recognise that Herman's primary focus in ‘Truth and Repair’ lies in highlighting the experiences and needs of trauma survivors. Her intent is to illuminate the broader social and cultural contexts surrounding sexual abuse and examine institutions’ responses to these issues. While the approach might benefit frm a far more nuanced and better educated differentiation between sex work and sex trafficking, it is still vital to consider the overall impact and intent of the book.

Beyond this point of contention, ‘Truth and Repair’ shines as a deeply insightful and compassionate exploration of the complex journeys survivors face. Drawing frm extensive research, Herman skillfully combines lived experience narratives w academic analysis to paint a vivid picture of trauma’s effects on individuals and society as a whole. The book provides a platform fr survivors to voice their stories and experiences and helps foster a greater understanding of the challenges they confront in their pursuit of justice and healing.

Herman’s extensive expertise in trauma studies and her ability to distill complex concepts into accessible language make ‘Truth and Repair’ an invaluable resource fr anyone interested in the subject matter. By blending personal accounts w research findings, the book enables readers to develop a comprehensive understanding of the multifaceted nature of trauma and its profound impact on survivors.

This is a much-needed book that shines a light on the experiences of trauma survivors and their journey toward justice and healing, and while it falls tremendously short in distinguishing between sex work and sex trafficking, the overall value of this book shouldn’t be completely diminished. I recommend it to anyone seeking a deeper understanding of trauma’s aftermath and the necessary steps to support survivors on their path to recovery, but please read it w some critical thinking and more nuanced thoughts about sex work.

[Morgan Blackledge · Rating 5 out of 5]

TRUTH & REPAIR

YES YES YES!

Judith Herman does it again.

At 82 y/o.

Judith Herman published her other groundbreaking earthshaking book, Trauma and Recovery in 1992.

In it she uncovered the (until then) suppressed history of trauma treatment in psychotherapy.

Herman asserted that Freud initially worked with women that were suffering from what was at the time referred to as hysteria. Before Freud, the consensus was that only women could be hysterical (cognitively, emotionally and somatically dysregulated/disorganized), and that it was somehow caused by female reproductive function e.g. location of the uterus (believed at the time to somehow float freely among the viscera).

Freud discovered that a common factor with each of his “hysterical” patients is that they all reported being sexually abused, frequently by family members or close others such as family friends, teachers etc.

Freud surmised (correctly as it were) that hysteria was in fact a symptom of sexual trauma, and more broadly, traumatic exposure of all varieties, and that men could be “hysterical” too as evidenced by what would now be diagnosed as PTSD, but at the time was referred to as “battle fatigue” or “shell shock”.

However…

When Freud published these findings, they implicated the wealthy and powerful Viennese fathers and brothers of his patients, with similar implications for many other rich and powerful men with “hysterical” daughters.

And so…

He (hella) backpedaled, and recast his theories in terms of penis envy and Oedipus and Electra complex, essentially stating that “hysterical” women who reported sexual abuse by male family were neurotic because of unfulfilled desire (in other words, it didn’t ACTUALLY happen, but they wanted it, and couldn’t have it, and thats why they were hysterical).

And the rest is (how you say) history.

That is, until Herman call BULLSHIT on all that.

In so doing, Herman revitalized an interest in Trauma and Trauma treatment. She also coined the phrase Complex PTSD as she thought (and rightly so) that the PTSD construct and diagnosis did not capture the types of trauma that women and children suffer in situations of abuse/neglect, incest and domestic violence etc.

Here it is 30 years later and we’re finally adopting these insights and constructs into psychotherapy and clutter at large.

And YES.

Incidentally.

Three years later (in 1995) Judith Butler published Gender Trouble, wherein she coined the term gender non-binary and popularized the concept of performative gender.

Between these two notions.

complex trauma
non-binary gender

You kind of have the brave new world we currently occupy. At least as far as Gen-Z is concerned (my favorite Gen since Gen-X).

In Truth and Repair, Judith Herman discusses sexual trauma, rape culture and the failure of the criminal justice system to protect sexual abuse survivors (mostly women) from sexual abusers (mostly men).

Herman asserts that the current criminal justice system is concerned with STATE monopoly of force/violence in lawful resolution of contentious disputes, versus the rights of the ACCUSED.

Notice that the rights of SURVIVORS are either deprioritized or figure not at all in that equation.

Outcomes in criminal justice feature (a) punishment of the ACCUSED in the form of incarceration, or (a) retributions, typically in the form of MONETARY compensation.

Neither of which actually meet the needs of the SURVIVOR in recovery.

Furthermore.

Herman argues that the current criminal just system is RACIST and PATRIARCHAL (essentially designed to protect the interests of the white patriarch) whereby the rights of BIPOC men and all women and children (but particularly BIPOC women and children) are deprioritized in order to maintain the liberty and pursuit of happiness for WHITE MEN, particularly to have of high status.

Herman cites the all to common examples whereby young rich white men are allowed to rape with relative impunity.

As in the case of Brock Turner the former Stanford University swimmer who was convicted of sexually assaulting an intoxicated and unconscious woman outside an on-campus fraternity party in 2016. The jury convicted Turner of three felonies, including assault with intent to rape. He was sentenced to six months in county jail.

SIX MONTHS for THREE felonies. The the ostensible rationale was that Turner was a “good (WHITE) boy” with a “bright (RICH) future” ahead of him. Why ruin his life?

But where was the conversation for the person he raped? And would PUNISHING Turner even aid at all in her recovery?

Herman is a psychiatrist, and a qualitative researcher, and as such she like to let the PEOPLE the PEOPLE TALK. She interviewed a population of rape and abuse SURVIVORS, and essentially none of them were served by the current system.

Most SURVIVORS report experiencing DARVO, which stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender." A legal/denial strategy whereby the perpetrator Denies (D) the crime, Attacks (A) the victim, and Reversed (R) the roles of Victim (V) and Offender (O) such that the perpetrator assumes the victim role and the true victim becomes the perceived offender.

As is - she’s lying in order to extort money, or ruin the reputation of that nice young man.

One only needs to remember Clarence Tomas and Anita Hill, or Brett Kavanaugh and Christine Blasey, or Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky or Donald Trump and…too many to list.

SURVIVORS called DARVO and the experience of cross examination as the SECOND RAPE.

Herman and the women she interviewed advocate for Reparative justice.

Reparative justice is focused on addressing harm caused by a wrongdoing or injustice. It seeks to repair the damage done to individuals, communities, or societies and promote healing and reconciliation. This approach often involves acknowledging the harm, providing restitution or compensation, and actively working towards restoring relationships and creating a more just and equitable future. It can be applied in various contexts, such as criminal justice, historical injustices, and social conflicts.

While Herman admits there is not currently a practical system of reparative justice due to the EXTREME lack of investment in this domain and the current system is a FAIL. And we need a better way.

One additional LOVE/LIFE GIVING aspect of the book is that Herman is 82 as of the date of publication. She wrote it from assisted living.

And it fucking ROCKS!

Here’s to the Judith’s Herman and Butler.

May Gen-Z pick up their torch, and BURN SOME SHIT 🔥

5/5 STARS ⭐️

[Charlotte Kersten · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want everyone to read this book. It is at once a comprehensive and accessible exploration of how survivors of gender-based violence are routinely failed by their communities and systems, and it offers a powerful framework for healing beyond individual mental health and justice beyond punishment for a tiny minority.
I can't emphasize how completely Judith Herman has articulated some of my deepest sources of rage, hope, and uncertainty. I'm once again reminded how grateful I am for for her incredible lifetime of work on the behalf of survivors, and all I can hope is that I carry on the spirit and substance of her work in some way.

[Christina Meyer · Rating 3 out of 5]

5/10
Judith Herman is one of the greatest clinical authorities on trauma. Truth and Recovery is groundbreaking, and I had high hopes for Truth and Repair, which better integrated race and sometimes sexuality (though not really) into the conversation. On policy matters, however, I feel like she’s out of her scholarly depth. The book feels very surface level with some valuable critiques of mainstream conversations about “justice.”
She’s at her best when she’s dealing with academia and universities because that’s in her wheelhouse, and she integrates the work of Seamus Khan and Jennifer Hirsch, who are, in my opinion, the best scholars on the subject of sexual misconduct in universities.
Our biggest point of departure is on the role of courts and her general view of sex work. In one chapter, she will speak admiringly of the work of Miriam Kaba and, in the next, admiringly describe a judge and prosecutors implementing a semi-Nordic model court in the U.S. Having read extensively on the role of “john courts” and the police as “freers of prostitutes,” I think that her outlook is overly optimistic. Herman comes from the radical, second-wave movement that I have great respect for but is often short-sighted on issues related to race, sexuality, and gender identity.
Her explicit anti-porn stance, while understandable given the overall landscape, seems outdated compared to where the industry stands now. And her description of “prostitution,” as women who have “strangers, or even regular clients, ejaculate into her bodily produces ten to twelve times per night,” shocked me with how degrading a description it was. I feel like she overlooks all critiques of the Nordic model and misinterprets the data from the New Zealand model. Much of it became a screed against fourth-wave feminism, and it felt out of place in the book.
In spite of its interesting points and my respect for Herman generally, I found Truth and Repair disappointing. Instead of reading it, I recommend people read Sexual Citizens (for and exploration sexual misconduct in universities), Revolting Prostitutes (more a in-depth discussion of sex work, harm reduction, and decriminalization from a global perspective), The Right to Sex (for a more nuanced perspective on the porn industry), and How We Get Free (for a more nuanced perspective of restorative justice).

[Miles Pulsford · Rating 2 out of 5]

Herman’s work on trauma is visionary, and I have a deep personal attachment to her writing, so I expected to love this book. But I came away disappointed. Although she acknowledges the immorality and abject harm of the criminal legal system, her perspectives on justice are largely carceral and her alignment with the victims’ rights movement welds feminism to conservatism. There are things I love about this book, but its weak and incomplete critique of criminalization is a fatal flaw in a text about trauma and justice.

[Janalyn, the blind reviewer · Rating 5 out of 5]

If anyone knows about trauma recovery it should be Dr. Judith L Herman she has written multiple book books on trauma from incest sexual assault and more and then this one she focuses on the victim. I always believe if people sexual crimes were worn on the outside we would have an epidemic of sexual abusers and even more sexual victims. I think warnings of abuse should start when you’re little and although not everyone will be abused everyone should be informed on what to do when it happens and how sometimes just telling one person isn’t enough. This book is so needed thanks to Dr. Herman and others like her we will slowly but surely make talking about sexual abuse not as taboo as it was and it won’t just be blown off as boys will be boys. I am so thankful for the activists that stand up for the voiceless and I believe the author is one of those people and highly recommend this book. I won’t say it was entertaining but it certainly was educational and definitely needed. I received this book from NetGalley and basic books but I am leaving this review voluntarily please forgive any mistakes as I am blind and dictate my review.

[Sheila Gregoire · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Necessary Correction to how we treat survivors

I loved this book’s focus on how we can centre victims’ needs when it comes to how we handle abuse and trauma. Thinking about this in my own setting of evangelicalism, I long to see communities acknowledge the harm done and bystanders’ roles in that harm. I felt like the latter part of the book on restorative justice lost some momentum, but it still helped me clarify what we can dream of doing. Highly recommend.

[Quin Rich · Rating 5 out of 5]

A beautiful and powerful meditation on how survivors of gender-based violence define justice.

Survivors are eminently reasonable and fair. They want acknowledgment, care, validation, safety, repair, genuine apology, and an end to cycles of harm. It’s so frustrating to me as a therapist for survivors that we have no real mechanism in this society to provide these entirely reasonable and justified things to survivors.

Do some survivors want revenge? Sure, but usually after long periods of revictimization, ostracization, denial, and being refused any acknowledgment that the harm happened and any attempt at repair. When supported by their community and made whole, survivors what right size justice and acknowledgment.

We talk too much about pathways back for perpetrators and not nearly enough about what survivors really need to be made whole and restored. I appreciate Dr. Herman for opening this crucial conversation.

[Catherine Hayden · Rating 4 out of 5]

Between 4-5 stars idrk. I did a project and led a group discussion on the philosophy of forgiveness so I gravitated towards this book to think about the topic once again. I wish we had been able to hear more from each of the interviewees but overall I did find the text pretty compelling and a good jumping off point for discussion. I liked the discussions of restorative justice and I appreciate that the author made the distinction between RJ and mediation clear (although I wish it had been made sooner) as I think was thinking it was pretty similar to mediation

[Isabella Serafini · Rating 5 out of 5]

Never a disappointment with Judith Herman. This book was a great read. Her insightful chapters and meaningful perspectives on current issues should be shared all around. The last couple of chapters hit me the most.

“Survivors need truth and repair—acknowledgement, vindication, apology, and amends—from their moral communities.”

Strength in numbers, we must use our voices.

[Ann Douglas · Rating 4 out of 5]

A key quote that pretty much captures the breadth and spirit of the book: "Changing violent behavior that has been so widespread, so endemic, and for so long ignored as a victim's private misfortune requires community organizing to develop a new, complex, and well-coordinated social intervention system. It means, in effect, building an alternative moral community, one that no longer condones or excuses the violence and turns a blind eye but instead accepts responsibility for ending it."

[my good bitch · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was into the beginning of this book, and a lot of parts had me, but it’s baffling to me how she talks about tyranny and then hitches survivor’s justice on tyrannical and carceral systems, praises the neoliberal Nordic model, and goes in on porn and sex work, calling “sex-positive” people “libertarians” and “neoliberals.”

Many good parts, many bad parts.

[Amandine · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 ⭐️. I’m torn, because in a lot of ways this is a powerful and urgent argument for letting survivors of sexual violence define justice on their own terms- which, HELL YEA!!

But at the same time, Judith Herman is basically a caricature of second-wave feminism.

Does she conflate sex work with sex trafficking? Of course she does.

Does she overwhelmingly focus on straight cis male violence against straight cis women? Yup yup yup- literally not one mention of trans or non-binary survivors and the nuance they bring to the conversation of power and patriarchy. The sex binary is a given!

Is a nuanced discussion of porn completely off the table, with her instead accusing sex-positive individuals of wanting to decriminalize child sexual exploitation? Yesssss.

In the conclusion she praises The Survivors’ Agenda, but when she mentions that they advocate for decrim of sex work she’s like “oh, bless their hearts, they don’t actually understand that sex work by definition cannot be consensual and therefor what they actually meant to endorse is the Nordic model”…which is so wiiiiiiildly condescending towards the authors (mostly women of colour) and decrim advocates in general (who she earlier dismisses as neoliberals- wha?). Baffling that in other areas she’s such an unequivocal advocate of listening to women and trusting them to dictate their needs and terms for harm-reduction and societal justice, but when it comes to sex workers that attitude completely falls apart.

There are minor inclusions of how race intersects with power and exploitation, so that’s one point for her, but overall this book is held back by her blind spots.

Yes, she is 82, but it’s still disappointing for what is otherwise a crackling directive against tyranny and systems of oppression and a rallying cry for accountability, vindication, and healing on survivor’s terms.

[Charis · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very important book. What does real justice look like with both accountability and restitution? What do survivors really want? Really appreciated her critique of both conservatives and liberals in their approach to crime and focus on restorative justice that is neither lax and permissive or punitive and unwavering. Also really appreciated her explanation of the legal system and its design/intent/and therefore flaws- it isn’t designed for victims at all and is often re-traumatizing. This book has no easy answers or solutions, just ideas and perspectives. The statistics on the number of perpetrators willing the apologize and engage in restorative justice, the rate of success with RJ, the rates of repeat perpetration, and the difficulty in rehabilitating are sobering and disheartening. Also her discussion of sex trafficking and how when sex work is legalized it leads to increased demand and then increases trafficking is so sad. Like the real issue under all of this is toxic masculinity, male entitlement, and power and abuse dynamics that show up everywhere.

[emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

very mixed thoughts on this: i appreciated that she addresses prostitution as the exploitation/trauma that it is and how pornography fuels rape culture, i also liked the first section and think it analysed the roots of sexual violence quite well. however, the second section went downhill for me, i don’t like the full restorative justice model i think it makes the perpetrator and victim seem like they are on a similar scale of harm which is bullshit. i also really didn’t like the idea that the “re-education” of rapists is the only form of justice that should be done and disregards the role of punishment towards them.

overall, i liked hearing different perspectives and i think she still uses a lot more of a radical feminist lens than most over recovery books do.

[Valyncia Raphael · Rating 5 out of 5]

So good, honest, and thorough. As a former TIXC, this book was a soothing balm for the callouses I accumulated trying to change campus cultures related to sexual harm. It's raw yet hopeful, innovative yet matter of fact about basic fixes that have boundless potential. No other notes! Thank you Judy Herman.

[Grace Lee]

Bevan’s recommendation

[Moon · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's a legal system; not a justice system.

[Isidora Durán · Rating 4 out of 5]

Essential reading to understand what exactly survivors of gender based violence want and need, and the urgency to centre this in all struggles against male violence, misogyny and patriarchy. Class is touched on here and there but the absence of any real analysis of capitalism means the various conclusions and solutions suggested tend toward wishy-washiness.

[Ann B · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book on restorative justice history, principles, practice, and impact. Mostly focuses on gender-based violence. Got a bit rambly, but I learned so much.

[kristy_reads_ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wonderful education for injustice and ways to move forward. It’s sad that it’s 2024 and we have so much further to go.

[S. Wigget · Rating 4 out of 5]

(I also posted this review on StoryGraph. My account there is se_wigget. I might stop using Goodreads altogether, since nowadays it only lets me log in via DuckDuckGo on my phone. Otherwise, it pretends my password is wrong... even after I change it... and change it....)

I began reading this for a book discussion group... and it's really triggering. I started the first section... and kept picturing survivors decapitating rapists... or rapists' heads on pikes. So I skipped to the next section of the book. Though it's about survivors of rape, it's relevant if you're traumatized by verbal and psychological abuse, so it brought up memories. So the whole book could be triggering. I don't feel like reading all of it--going with my gut feeling.

That said, I agree about wanting perpetrators and the institutions that protect them to be publicly exposed for what they’ve done. There was a big story recently about a sexual predator gynecologist at Columbia University--the university covered it up for over a decade and even let the perpetrator go back to work days after a patient reported him. WTF. Ditto monsters like the Orange Menace of Putrescence... Harvey the Wiener (so glad he finally ended up with consequences, but Hollywood is a toxic environment that enables these predators and gaslights and victim-blames victims).

On a more personal level, it's infuriating to be related to an abusive clan that consists primarily of narcissists, narcissistic sociopaths, and their flying monkeys--and to be treated by most of your relatives like it's a no-brainer that it's somehow your duty to be everyone's verbal and psychological publishing bag. Flying monkeys act like the abusers can do no wrong--no matter what they do--and far from coming to your defense when abusers slander you in front of them, these flying monkeys don't hesitate for a second to throw you under the bus and to consider you inferior and invalid. Some flying monkeys are also abusers--there's a lot of overlap. Meanwhile, this evil clan will always believe the sick and twisted version of you that your abusers invented, instead of the real you.

Not sure if the author uses the phrase "No Contact," but when she indicates that most survivors aren't interested in revenge but in simply not having any contact with their abusers--I very much relate to that, too. If you don’t respect me--if you don't treat me with respect--you have no fucking right to have any contact with me. And no, just because I have the misfortune of being your sister doesn't fucking change that.
Anyway, if you're traumatized by abusers of some sort or other, you will probably relate. The wanting no contact with your abusers, wanting to be heard and believed and respected--not gaslighted and re-traumatized, and also wanting consequences for the abusers--these are all things I relate to in this book.


Page 101: Enough of the Xianity. Cooties.
Although... I'm glad this says neither the old nor new testaments say anything about forgiveness, because it proves that Evil Aunt Ethel, Pile of Offal's claim that "Christianity is about forgiveness," (right after fucking saying "I wish you were a Christian") is a lie. Of course, I know she was manipulating me: if I forgave my so-called sister for being verbally and psychologically abusive, then surely I'd forgive this sociopath Aunt for being verbally and psychologically abusive--which she'd continue after I "forgave" her fucking useless ass. It was all about mindfuckery, but shoving her toxic patriarchal religion down my throat only made her behavior even more abusive and triggering. Cunty-cunt.
This soulless, empathy-less monster also demonstrated that she had no idea what genuine forgiveness is. She didn't have deep, normal, human emotions. She just wanted to be able to keep treating me like shit and demanding forgiveness... without her ever having a change of heart and without her ever ceasing her verbally and psychologically abusive behavior.
Meanwhile, most relatives are brainwashed by her and her siblings and always will be.

[Sarina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this book. I’d heard good things and found the text frequently cited. However, while there was some interesting theory Judith provides a very black and white, victim perpetrator world view. She says violence against women is her area of expertise, and it does sound like she’s worked with many survivors- however her views on the sex trade are ill informed for someone who claims to have a knack for listening. She uses grotesque and demeaning language when discussing the sex trade, issues around it and the women in it, which in my opinion was infinitely more degrading to women than making the choice to sell sexual or erotic services to take care of yourself and your family in a patriarchal capitalist society. She chose to highlight stories of the most extreme and exploitative conditions and entirely failed to acknowledge the existence trans women or non-women in the sex trade at all.
She failed to acknowledge the many women who are in the sex trade by choice and by necessity. There is absolutely a nuanced conversation to be had about power, the role of capitalism, coercion, and control, as well as the lack of state oversight of workplace abuses in the sex trade, however that’s not the conversation Judith Butler is having. She says decrim is about “letting market forces rule” [to the detriment of women] despite it being the active recommendation of nearly every sex worker rights org, and is supported by The Human Rights Watch, Amnesty International, and The International Planned Parenthood Federation. She’s painting with a wide and broad brush leaving out many, in particular the most marginalized who often have few economic options, particularly with the same flexibility, outside of sex work. Sex work is very often the way many marginalized groups are able to creatively work within the constraints of the already ruling market forces which have decided against their worth. The sex trade doesnt prey on the most vulnerable women and children among us, poverty, homelessness and hunger do.
She says that the Nordic model isn’t build on moral prudishness but on a cool analytical understanding of power dynamics. I’m not arguing that there aren’t many problematic and corrosive power dynamics in the sex trade, however advocating for this kind of policy fails to listen to women who talk about how these kinds of laws ultimately negatively affect them.

She also makes a point to say children who’ve been abused don’t abuse others, but she fails to mention many abusers have experienced abuse themselves. She fails to acknowledge the often deeply complex relationship between victimhood and perpetration. She struggles to hold any sympathy for those who committed abuse which is an understandable sentiment but I think ultimately weakened her theoretical position and prevented her from understanding how deeply complex and interwoven systems contributing to perpetratorhood are on a large scale.
While she does acknowledge the brokenness and ineffectiveness of our current criminal justice system, I felt Judith stops short of being explicitly abolitionist while dancing around the topic and ultimately repeatedly reifying the carceral system.
I found it interesting that she was willing to take a harm reduction approach to the justice system but not prostitution.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

*social support is a powerful predictor of good recovery, social isolation is toxic. People can not feel safe alone, nor mourn or make meaning
*memorial to survivors of sexual violence 10/2020 in Minnesota

"victim"- Latin, beast chosen for sacrifice in a religious ritual

What survivors want?
*acknowledgment and vindication
*survivors want acknowledgment of facts and harm
*they wish for moral vindication from the community- lift their shame and place it on perpetrators
-her parents were crying not because they were sorry for themselves but because what they had done to her
-survivors must be fully prepared for perpetrator denial excuses blame rather than acknowledgment/repentance. in person meetings only beneficial if the survivor isn't looking for apology, but rather to speak their truth
-interpersonal forgiveness is a more current idea- HX literature assigns it to the divine, difficult to forgive because it's predicated on the other person's remorse which is almost impossible to ascertain (often transactional)
-revenge? friends and family are often less conflicted than survivors, especially true when survivors know their perpetrators
-survivor's desires- justice more focused on survivors and healing rather than perpetrator punishment, our justice system is set up opposite
--survivor focused: first duty of moral community is to support and care for her, next consider what to do with offender, mobilize community, focus on harm of crime and making things right for future, survivor need for healing safety and inclusion
-institutions to be held accountable
-


Rules of tyranny
*features of tyranny are recognizable- public -world of men - and private sphere- to which women are confined
-threat of violence/cohersion: is enough to produce submission
- strategies: control body, enforcement of petty rules, random rewards
-fear of death, gratitude for permission to live
- break spirit through shame: isolation, degradation, violate moral codes by betrayal/harm to those she loves
- shame is a threat to social connection
-those assigned to implement law can sometimes prefer the rule and method of tyranny
*life contingent on will of the master- still present in "the talk" which black families gives to kids, be deferential
-church and sex trade share similarities- rigid patriarchy, opaque authoritarian structure that fosters secrecy and enables criminal exploitation
-many men feel like they will get away with it, which doesn't deter them; they believe they will get away with it because most of the time they do
-

FORGIVENESS
-abusers often use apologies/remorse as a tactic to keep survivors under their control - a better sign of contrition? the abuser NOT NEEDING forgiveness from the survivor, but rather get help and live as a change person
-Pastor Hunter- true repentance must proceed forgiveness
-forgiveness must be earned by tschovah repentance: rigorous self examination, confession, regret, efforts to right the wrong; forgiveness without repentance is destructive to the community
- healing justice
-no one else has the right to extend forgiveness to the perpetrator, except the one who was harmed
-

*rules for bystanders:
-recruits, cynicism, indifference, egotism, undermine community, isolated, corruption
-complicity and silence feel like profound betrayal
- take action in solidarity
-acknowledge, apology, and amends
-

Rules of equality
- we are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality tied in a seamless garment of destiny MLKJ
-courts: hostile territories short of physical attacks (Hatfields and McCoys), designed to resolve issues between white men as the only ones with rights
- be prepared to throw any illusions of justice you might have had, out the window
- victims can't be trusted because they'll be too angry, emotional, vengeful
-Anger as one of the vices of victimhood: forward facing v retributive, mixture of both (Marcia Nussbaum)
-moral community: bound by social reciprocity, to which individual belongs and trusts to come to aide when she's hurt
- victim impact statement: 1982 recommended, 1991 supreme court ruled admissible
-indignation on behalf of others is the basis for social bonds, source of empathy
-restore honor to survivor, moral community restores honor to itself
-current system is set up for perpetrator to maintain innocence, and focus on
attacking credibility of survivor
- judge Fernando Camacho: human trafficking intervention court, Queens NY
-

Patriarchy
-Katherine McKinnon: different things are valued differently in different cultures, but whatever is valued women are not that, if bottom is bottom look across time and space and women at whom you will find there
- the most widespread and enduring form of tyranny is patriarchy
- father daughter incest patriarchal violence
- obedience, get women who have been sexually abused by men they love and fear, childhood sexual abuse/dominantion is bootcamp for prostitution
- police believe most reports of rape are not credible, fate of tape case depends on detectives view of victim not perpetrator
- Police and first responders scoff at "soft", response of stereotypical masculine toughness
-the absence of police is not the same as the presence of safety, justice, repair
-📚 Is Rape A Crime? equate rape with sex instead of violence, and sex is a need for men- then rape will continue to be a crime for few consequence, mistakes, misunderstandings
-Jennifer Fried DARVO deny, attack, reverse victim and offender
- no one screams as loudly as people who are facing prospect of losing undeserved privileges
- both power and responsibilty belong to perpetrator
-persist, even in anger, to demand accountability

-sex trafficking in PA rustbelt- Dr Price

What to do?
-decriminalized prostitution leaves survivor at risk-- violence, threats, etc.
Nordic model seems to have the greatest success
Swedish decriminalization is not effective, demand increases, organized crimes takes over, etc.
-incarcerated people- studies tell us about misfortune about people who end up in person, we can't draw conclusions about sex offenders and their HX with abuse because we do not have the data
-repeat offenders are harder to rehabilitate, rather than if they were held accountable the first time
-Duluth Model- Domestic Abuse Intervention Programs, violence wheel of 1980s
-empathy for the victim is the last thing that happens in treatment, without that, they are not safe
-crimes of dominance and subordinate-llion- matter of public health and safety, with prevention of primary goal, shift public mindset
-tripod approach on college campuses: preventative Ed primary, then secondary student support, accountability for perpetrators
-"yes means yes
no means no
however we dress
wherever we go"
-consciousness raising of young men: what does it mean to be a man? (word loving is never mentioned), restrictive masculinity (instead of toxic), college age ignorant about power issues/ sexually inexperienced/ morally immature
- is she too drunk to have sex with? YES. would it be a good idea for her to drive a car in the state she was in, would you get in the car with her?
-Trump era policies 2020 - DOE approved modifications to Title 9 to mirror criminal court which is problematic for victims, Biden administration is seeking to repeal
- gender pay gap: 79% white women 63% black women 55% Hispanic women
-VOCA- victims on crime act, national trust fund to support victims, money from funds paid by offenders
*Restoratuve Justice Model
-conferencing
peace circle
victim= harmed person
perpetrator = harm doer
-RJ useful in punishment phase to determine how restitution can be made, not useful in fact finding, forgiveness should not be required
-high rates of reoffending rates
incarceration incapacitates offender during incarceration, current system does not protect community afterwards
-RJ studies are new and need more long term analysis, might be able to be a
shift in the future if shows it can save money, reduce recidivism

look into
Mind Geek trials and class action law suits! check updates on these
-Juliet Mitchell: beyond working class, women's oppression in 4 areas production reproduction sex and child reading
-

[Donna Hines (The Secret Book Sleuth) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Truth and Repair has arrived and it's ready to bring truth, empathy, and justice to surivors of abuse particulary sexual abuse and trauma.
Look, as a victim of abuse from domestic violence I can attest to a few of my grandest moments and not in any particular order.
Upon the 1st violation of a protection order the police actually asked if I'd like to press charges for him telephoning me to discuss nonsense when it's a direct violation of the no-contact rule via the order. Of course, I wanted him arrested not just for me but for all those victims/survivors who came before me that couldn't bring him to his knees.
Secondly, upon his filing of an illegal court order I was told it was illegal to file said order after he attempted to regain his home from an active PFA order which stated we had rights to said home as his wife and three children upon his filing of special relief order in which he paid the mortgage.
He then went to halt the child support order for 15k arrearages when the judge ordered repayment of this 21k for mortgage payments on a home that he inherited from his mother while married to me but for which I didn't want and for which I was tossed from upon having utilities turned off and could've lost my kids had I stayed in unsafe conditions.
I was then asked upon entering the court hallway why I didn't sit next to my spouse as we were there for custody arrangements. He was afforded extra time to appear for court and the court delayed the proceedings to afford him said time to appear.
I'd hate to say what'd happen if I didn't show on time, or if I didn't fill out the proper paperwork such as the income/expense reports as required by law that he'd not bothered.
In fact, upon being reprimanded to attend alcohol/drug treatment and anger management he noted, "I should be teaching not taking said courses."
Folks, this is the 21st century and women still have no rights in courts. Family courts are a nightmare and are meant as the author stated for white men to hash out their differences not for victims to get an apology, or feel heard, or even have their stories told.
When women go to court we were our hearts on our sleeves. We've often viewed as 'crazy, delusional, psychotic' before we enter the building based on our written words or verbal statements.
In my case, if you speak fast (PA born and raised) or loud (dad had hearing aid) you're automatically placed in a category of an angered 'Karen' persona.
If you are well educated you'll be downgraded quickly by these egotistical white males who seek nothing more than power and control over you.
It's taken me nearly since 2010 separation and 2013 divorce to finally repair some of the financial ruins caused by my 11 year marriage.
This was a central focus in what victims want and was discussed in great detail involving retribution, acknowledgement of said crime, those who harmed to know the damage they caused, the financial ruins, etc.
What I can tell you from experience having filed Chapter 7, was left bankrupt, homeless, LT unemployed, and in extreme poverty for the past 12 yrs. being left to survive with 3 kids (eldest son born med disabled with vater syndrome and then upon 18 yo having disability end yet disabled for life) is that men rule this world. My first payment was 100 dollars after living a year and half without income. Luckily my kids were able to be fed at local libraries and YMCA's but I wasn't able to get the same. As a women shelters locally didn't take kids. Housing and EBT (Food stamps) was on a 2 yr wait list. Every assistance available had taken years to obtain and by then you're already at your lowest of low and had to literally fight for survival.
Your health takes a huge hit as the stress wears you down and the inability to crawl out of poverty even with a dual masters and 20 yrs volunteering experience as a Points of Light recipient means nothing to the normal layman.
People who you assisted in their own times of need, those whom you volunteered to help, would be the very same that walked away upon your plight of homelessness.
Friends and family couldn't possibly understand why life was such a struggle and I tell you this from the heart it took 12 year for me to finally get employed as nobody would assist. I would send cold calls, emails, and attend every job fair in town sometimes applying to the same places and yet, nobody wants to be involved.
The laws in every regard are made for them to excell not for women to hold the same rights granted to them.
When religion approaches the conversation I literally want to duck and hide. As a former minister of hospitality I was listed to volunteer. I was in essence on the roster. Yet, the older white males refused to allow a woman to volunteer and in the midst of Sunday morn mass ripped the collection basket from my hands. Upon feeling further victimized as noted in this book I became upset and mentioned to the vicar how as a victim of violence this is traumatizing to me that this happens much less in a church. I was told these men need time to come around to this new line of thinking.
I kid you not!
Revictimization, blame, shame, and the guilt associated as if you're not held to be believable nor credible, in a court of law in which you're not the victim the state is ...is absurd.
Upon entering a court room my ex-spouse allowed the door to slam behind him w/o holding it open. I recall saying that's his normal and I'm used to that behavior and mistreatment. His attorney noted, You deserved the abuse. I'll never forget her words to this day.
It's a permanent scar. A wound. A constant reminder that we live in a world that has different rules based on the age, gender, race, or economical factors and yes, even location of the person. There's no guilt before innocence there's a hidden feeling of all women are liars that's apparent and felt. That we have to overtly prove our worth, our value, and our truths. Yes, even with documentation, court documents, police records, and pictures of abuse you'll still not credible. Even with proof of transferred funds it's not enough.
It's sadly never enough and I pray one day we get to the point where at face value we are believed for the truths we share. It's in sharing that we are healed and can allow others to come forward.
My facebook page, The Lost Self Life After Narcissism was created to help others heal, recover, and move forward in acknowledgement of their trauma and in face of their self love and acceptance.
You cannot expect it from the outside as it'll never be offered but what you can do is know your value, your worth, and your inherent goodness.
I can only hope this book helps enlighten others to the revictimization that's so apparent. To the domestic violence victims who can't get housing with active PFA's and or children. To those who stood hoping someone would simply acknowledge, accept, and understand their pain.
I hear you. I see you. I love you! Please reach out always! Thank you for this ARC and I pray it falls in the right hands to help others heal and shed light on the importance of what can be done to assist all victims and survivors of abuse.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

I got a lot out of this, and really appreciated the victim centred approach to trauma recovery. The discussions about punishment amd restorative justice were well balanced, warts and all.

It should probably be noted that the book almost exclusively depicts victims as women, and perpetrators as men, and while this could be a helpful framing for many, it may feel unrelatable to others whose experiences don't fit that.

[Karen Socorro · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a survivor of rape, facing two legal processes against the men who assaulted me, this book made me incredibly sad and understood. I felt less lonely after reading that what I wanted (accountability, an apology, recognition of my pain) was normal and I wasn´t crazy. Being ostracized from my community and by my own family broke my heart even more. As the book said, all I wanted form people was to listen; no judging, no comments, only sharing my pain. It may seem pretty obvious, but in real life is not. This is a book that every person needs to read because all the community is responsible for rape and rape cultures. The healing of a broken system comes with the work of victims, perpetrator, bystanders and professionals.
The only thing that troubles me about this book are the expectations that it gives. Being in a Latin American country makes even more difficult to accomplish this type of restorative justice and healing because the book shows stories of privileged people. It gave me false expectations about my own processes and made them harder to bear. So, I was left with a book with beautiful thoughts about changing the world but the unanswered question: how to heal when the justice system fails you, when your community turns your back on you and your perpetrator keeps harming you even you offered him an alternative?
Besides that, I think this book is necessary and as a society we should aspire to this beautiful way of conceiving prevention, recognition and justice.

[Jennie Chantal · Rating 2 out of 5]

Two very sad stars for this book
There’s really only one reason I can think of for the exclusion of trans women from this book, especially when she also identifies herself as a “radical feminist”. While I couldn’t find anything specific online, transmisogyny isn’t something I can overlook.

In addition, the exclusion of lesbian women, disabled women, gay men, and gender non-confirming people and violence in LGBTQ communities is alarming.

Also, she is staunchly against the decriminalization of prostitution, stating she doesn’t believe there is a difference between sex work and sex trafficking.

Lastly, it doesn’t go far enough to criticize carceral systems.

Otherwise it’s an excellent and accessible book on the topic that I would still recommend with careful and thoughtful reading.

[Addison · Rating 2 out of 5]

If you are a survivor looking for sources to help you imagine ways to subvert carceral systems and envision a new direction for justice... this book is just retraumatizing and really loose on those themes. The most helpful part was the first few chapters which mostly just told me my own experience and was retraumatizing though somewhat validating. Read some Mariame Kaba instead. I was also super unimpressed by the surprise SWERFdom towards the end. When I envision justice, I envision a world that gets to the root causes of violence, rather than making proclamations that things will never be safe because of a correlation with violence and should therefore be illegal.

Tl;dr this is not how this survivor envisions justice.

[Bee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good exploration of systems of tyranny and issues either both punitive and restorative justice.

However, her repeated conflation of sex work with sex trafficking brings it down from 4 or 5 stars.