This is How You Grow After Trauma: Simple strategies for resilience, confidence, healing and hope

by Olivia Remes

During the storm, pick up this book.University of Cambridge mental health expert Dr Olivia Remes has spent over a decade helping clients recover from traumatic experiences - whether that's big, one-off events or smaller, everyday struggles. As a result, she has created a 5-step plan for recovery that offers accessible, transformative techniques and exercises to get back on track.Distilling cutting-edge science and paired with real-life examples and straightforward solutions, This is How You Grow After Trauma offers a clear path towards healing.

Genres: Nonfiction, Mental Health, Psychology, Self Help

208 pages, Hardcover

Published April 6, 2023

Reviews

[Analie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is basic CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy). Remes delves into 4 areas to G.R.O.W.: Gratitude, Relationships / Resilience, Openness, and Waking Up & Hope. It's laced with a few interesting studies, but the information is surprisingly general and not specific to trauma survivors.

[Chontiwat Udomsiripat · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is How You Grow After Trauma ทุกบาดแผลคือการเติบโต - เป็นหนังสือสำหรับการพักใจและหยุดทำอะไรสักอย่าง เพื่อหลีกเลี่ยงสภาวะหมดไฟหรือการมาของโรคซึมเศร้า พร้อมกับการปรับพฤติกรรมบางอย่างไปในตัว มีประเด็นที่เราทั้งเห็นด้วยและไม่เห็นด้วยในเล่ม (เห็นด้วยร้อยละ 75)

พออ่านจบแล้วก็ช่วยทบทวนตัวเองได้อย่างดี ควบคุมในสิ่งที่เรายังทำได้จะดีกว่า อะไรที่พลาดไปแล้วก็ทำได้แค่ปล่อยวางและนำเป็นบทเรียน ไม่หยิกกัดและทำร้ายตัวเองก็พอ

[Natasa Gramblickova · Rating 2 out of 5]

Oh my god… I don’t even know where to start… the book is so vague without any kind of clarity or depth. Super general with no actual “how to grow” manual that it proposes to have. Full of unnecessary motivational quotes and phrases. From a doctor I expected so much more.
The worst part was when she talked about feelings, instead of saying “I feel” we should say “I am”. There are so many things wrong with this “advice”. As a person with depression, I am not my depression, I might feel depressed, yes.
It almost feels like she doesn’t care about mental health disorders, which are actually happening after trauma as well.
There were some nice parts of talking about studies and some general help like walking in forest and giving yourself boundaries etc. Also I had nice realization moments with certain stories from her patients. (That’s why I give it AT LEAST 2 stars.)
Overall, don’t waste your time, it’s not worth it. Just another motivational book made for money instead of giving advice.

[Nina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Tlis book is a very bad choice. “How to grow after trauma” ok, the translation in my langusge even says: this is how you get trough your trauma! Both titles are totally missleading. Sorry. It’s just and only generic bullshitting at “quite enough pages”. And I was patient. Waiting till the last pages wishing for to harvest at least something usefull. But advices to be eating treats while studing? Making yourself a nice environment while doing the paperwork? Let the music play? That is hazarduje behaving, people taking this book are going trough serious things, and Olivia Remes doesn’t have a clue about life.

[Harriet Shearsmith · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’ve given it three stars for some of the useful exercises that I would use with my own clients as a coach & trainee therapist but this really is a basic book combining basic CBT & coaching premises, many of which are *absolutely not trauma led practices*. CBT is notoriously inappropriate for a trauma setting and I *cant* abide pop-culture psychotherapy that sing songs “your trauma is a gift”. It’s not. It’s trauma.
If we could do half stars, it would be 2.5. It’s not a BAD book it you have already had therapy and support for trauma but it’s not going to help you heal trauma, rather suppress emotions and gaslight yourself.

[Chanda Scobee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Olivia Remes’ “This is How You Grow After Trauma” is a deeply insightful and compassionate exploration of the transformative journey following traumatic experiences. In her book, Remes presents a blend of personal stories, scientific research, and practical advice that guides readers toward understanding and healing from the wounds that trauma inflicts.

One of the central themes of the book is the idea that trauma does not define a person’s future. Remes emphasizes that while trauma can be a painful chapter in one’s life, it can also be a catalyst for personal growth. Drawing from her background in mental health and psychological resilience, she shares how healing is not a linear process, but rather one filled with setbacks, breakthroughs, and moments of rediscovery. I, personally, think even providing a framework for how to think about trauma is extremely helpful.

What sets this book apart from others in the self-help genre is Dr. Remes’ balanced approach, combining evidence-based strategies with an understanding of the emotional and psychological complexities involved in trauma recovery. She provides practical tools for navigating the aftermath of trauma, including mindfulness exercises, cognitive reframing, and ways to cultivate resilience and self-compassion. These tools are not only empowering, but also realistic, acknowledging that growth is often messy and gradual.

Dr. Remes also makes it clear that growth after trauma is not about erasing the past, but about learning how to integrate it into one's identity in a healthy way. She emphasizes the importance of building a support system, whether it be through therapy, social connections, or self-help groups, to foster healing and recovery.

The book also delves into the science behind trauma and resilience, providing readers with a better understanding of the neurological and psychological impacts of traumatic experiences. This grounding in research offers reassurance to those going through trauma, reminding them that their feelings and struggles are valid and shared by many others. I think many people would benefit from the information and practices divulged in this book, especially in comparison to other books on trauma.

In conclusion, the writing is accessible and empathetic, making “This is How You Grow After Trauma” a valuable resource for anyone dealing with the aftermath of a traumatic event. Whether you're seeking guidance for personal growth or ways to support others, this book offers a compassionate roadmap to healing and transformation.

[Madeline Noelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

confused by the “GROW” acronym. it was only mentioned once, in the “waking up” section. the theme was hope, but the acronym needed a W, i guess. would have liked this acronym to be introduced fully in the beginning and reviewed at the end. not sure which r word—relationships or resilience—is the R of GROW.

quite a few typos in the ebook.

[Angie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was ok. The first part was helpful but the second part seemed way too wordy. Simple explanation and ways to understand and work on your trauma. Would be great for a beginner book for those with trauma.

[Jemma Lewis · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really lovely book. Short but to the point, heavily based on joy and gratitude.

[Dr Kamlesh · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finished reading this book. It has a structure of academic book and thus feels less personal. But author has given excellent actions and examples to overcome life's difficult phases.

[machete’s mom · Rating 4 out of 5]

read for free cognitive therapy

[Iam Lamp Waites · Rating 4 out of 5]

It was ok as an audiobook. There was places to stop and do an activity that would have been easier had or been a physical book. Definitely worth a read/ listen.

[Katie Baker · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some useful reminders here, presented in an easily digestible format.

[Leneé · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful read. Great for those who are stuck and need a gentle reminder, or easily digestible introductions, on ways to cope through tough times.

[Yesenia · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very great self-help book. I picked this book up because I was having really bad coping strategies to deal with a recent event in my life. I think this book came into my life at the right time. Though the book is laid out very simply (I feel like a 5th grader can certaintly read this, no problem), the impact of these strategies in real life are humongous. Of course, easier said than done, but now I have certain frameworks I can fall back on when I'm finding myself in a tough spot, mental health wise.

I do wish the book described more psychological research behind the strategies, but I realize this is supposed to be for a more general audience. And it doesn't ~not~ bring up psychological research. They're just an occasional boost to pieces of advice she gives - which, as a person with a psychology degree, is less than I would like. Key points in this book that I personally enjoyed: her bit about venting not being as helpful as you might think, learning to lose/let go, reframing, planning your day the day before, realizing emotions aren't facts and bringing awe purposefully into your life. I also really liked her little personal exercises she had in the book, but my favorite was the Wheel of Life activity. It helps you determine which parts of life are most important to you and figure out where you're feeling unfulfilled on that wheel. Good book, and I'll certaintly be watching her Ted Talk soon.

[Lynn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful book