The Donut Legion

by Joe R. Lansdale

Edgar award-winning author Joe R. Lansdale beams a light on an East Texas town held in the grip of conspiracy.
Charlie Garner has a bad feeling. His ex-wife, Meg, has been missing for over a week and one quick peek into her home shows all her possessions packed up in boxes. Neighbors claim she’s running from bill collectors, but Charlie suspects something more sinister is afoot. Meg was last seen working at the local donut shop, a business run by a shadow group most refer to as ‘The Saucer People’; a space-age, evangelist cult who believe their compound to be the site of an extraterrestrial Second Coming.
 
Along with his brother, Felix, and beautiful, randy journalist Amelia “Scrappy” Moon, Charlie uncovers strange and frightening details about the compound (read: a massive, doomsday storehouse of weapons, a leashed chimpanzee!) When the body of their key informer is found dead with his arms ripped out of their sockets, Charlie knows he’s in danger but remains dogged in his quest to rescue Meg.
 
Brimming with colorful characters and Lansdale’s characteristic bounce, this rollicking crime novel examines the insidious rise of fringe groups and those under their sway with black comedy and glints of pathos.

Genres: Mystery, Fiction, Crime, Thriller, Humor, Cults, Audiobook

304 pages, Kindle Edition

First published March 21, 2023

About the author

Champion Mojo Storyteller Joe R. Lansdale is the author of over forty novels and numerous short stories. His work has appeared in national anthologies, magazines, and collections, as well as numerous foreign publications. He has written for comics, television, film, newspapers, and Internet sites. His work has been collected in more than two dozen short-story collections, and he has edited or co-edited over a dozen anthologies. He has received the Edgar Award, eight Bram Stoker Awards, the Horror Writers Association Lifetime Achievement Award, the British Fantasy Award, the Grinzani Cavour Prize for Literature, the Herodotus Historical Fiction Award, the Inkpot Award for Contributions to Science Fiction and Fantasy, and many others. His novella Bubba Ho-Tep was adapted to film by Don Coscarelli, starring Bruce Campbell and Ossie Davis. His story "Incident On and Off a Mountain Road" was adapted to film for Showtime's "Masters of Horror," and he adapted his short story "Christmas with the Dead" to film hisownself. The film adaptation of his novel Cold in July was nominated for the Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival, and the Sundance Channel has adapted his Hap & Leonard novels for television.

He is currently co-producing several films, among them The Bottoms, based on his Edgar Award-winning novel, with Bill Paxton and Brad Wyman, and The Drive-In, with Greg Nicotero. He is Writer In Residence at Stephen F. Austin State University, and is the founder of the martial arts system Shen Chuan: Martial Science and its affiliate, Shen Chuan Family System. He is a member of both the United States and International Martial Arts Halls of Fame. He lives in Nacogdoches, Texas with his wife, dog, and two cats.

Reviews

[Melki · Rating 4 out of 5]

Lansdale returns to the thing he does best: coming up with a pair of characters, both likeable, both smartasses, plopping them into a sticky situation, and having them fling witty repartee at everyone around them.

Here we have two brothers busting up a sinister cult that involves donuts, aliens, and murder. It's a great mix of humor, action, and powdered sugar, AND a treat for Hap 'n Leonard fans.



And, yeah - let's settle this for once and for all - you GOTTA have chips with a sandwich.


Many thanks to NetGalley and Mulholland Books for the read.

[Bill Riggs · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great story with fantastic characters. This should be a 5 star review but the several instances where I had to read about Trump, Vaccines and Masks make me drop it to 4 stars. Lansdale, like so many of his colleagues seems to not be able to write a story without mentioning Trump and current political goings on. The narrative skids to a stop when current political events are mentioned. Sad, really. This could be a timeless story but Lansdale feels the need to mention Trump
And other political factors. Can no one write a fictional story anymore without mentioning politics?? I see enough on the news, Facebook, and Twitter. Just looking for entertainment.

[Damo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joe R. Lansdale has a way of making the weird and wacky appear almost normal and his characters combine quiet competence with lackadaisical humour. He’s hit upon this combination by giving us the most East Texas take on creepy cult behaviour in The Donut Legion by introducing us to brothers Charlie and Felix Garner.

Charlie Garner gets a midnight visit from Meg, his ex-wife who lays warnings and mysterious exhortations on him before disappearing. It turns out she and her new husband have vanished and been gone for days now. Charlie’s left to wonder whether he’d just had a visit from a ghost who’s come to ask him to look for her body. But he’s so distracted by this nagging headache that doesn’t seem to want to go away.

The town is encumbered by a flying saucer cult that also owns the local donut shop, Saucer Donuts. The cult appears to have its hooks in quite a few businesses around town and things always seem to happen to the people who speak out against it. The fact that Meg not only worked in the donut shop but was at one time a believer gives Charlie a starting point in looking for her.

Along with his brother Felix, Charlie begins a solid bit of investigating, but what begins as a search for the missing Meg gradually turns into an investigation into the cult. What becomes apparent is that no good will necessarily come of talking about the Saucer People. It seems that everyone they speak to wants to warn them of a tall man accompanied by a chimpanzee. The man goes by the name Cowboy, the chimp is Mr Biggs. Both man and chimp are killers.

It doesn’t take long for the enquiries made by Charlie and Felix to filter back to members of the cult. Life suddenly becomes dangerous. They’re visited by some suited enforcers, one of the cult members they talk to is brutally murdered, they find themselves off their faces after eating and drinking at a cult-organised event.

Despite the ever-present danger of the situation and some pretty brutal slayings that take place, The Donut Legion is packed with a healthy dose of irreverent humour. Charlie and Felix are a couple of natural born wiseasses who can’t help but crack jokes with each other, mainly to get under the skin of their enemies.

With numerous off-beat characters, a looming Jonestown-style big event if the offing, a chimpanzee willing to rip your arms off and a cranky tall cowboy willing to give the order there’s no end of entertainment to take in. Lansdale writes with wicked good humour and in this case, it’s decidedly black humour that works in perfectly with the subject matter.

For the moment, The Donut Legion is a stand-alone novel, but the characters involved have the chops to make you want to learn more about them. At least, I wouldn’t mind seeing them go around at least one more time.

[Hannah · Rating 1 out of 5]

This is the third book I started and DNFd today. I now know what people mean by reading slump. I could not be any less interested in what is happening in this book. I tried. Really did, but I don't care! I had won this book and wanted to give it a good review. Instead, I'll be taking it to Half Price Books for someone else to give it a try. Done at 52 pages.

[Truman32 · Rating 4 out of 5]

Joe R. Lansdales, The Donut Legion had me hooked right away. Honestly, anything with Donut in the title I find riveting. As the staff of my local Dunkin' Donuts can attest, everytime I stop in (which is daily) I ask to read their employee manual while I utilize their bathroom (which I call dropping the sprinkles).But The Donut Legion will also have you hooked on the characters and riveting story. Like a Bavarian Cream Donut, the characters may seem stereotypically eccentric, but once you dig down past the soft and fluffy dough, you experience  a taste of decadent pastry cream.The story involves Charlie Garner, who is worried about his missing ex-wife and enlists his brother,Felix, and a new spunky friend Amelia in finding her. This ex and her new husband had been mixed up in a religious cult that believes aliens (or as they say, 'The Saucer People' ) will be coming to fly all the true believers away to an extraterrestrial heaven. Like a bear claw donut, This novel will keep you on your toes, making the readerwonder what will happen next. After all the bear claw is an engima that has confunded many wise folks throughout the ages. Is the delicious bear claw even  a donut, or a danish disguised as a donut.Whatever your feelings on this, we can all agree that Bear Claws contain absolutely zero parts of bears.Not unlike a cruller, The Donut Legion twists and bends making a tasty treat for anyone with taste buds to enjoy.

[Dave · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lansdale’s the Donut Legion is a kooky East Texas small town mystery that draws the reader in from the beginning with Charlie Garner receiving a nocturnal visit from his ex-wife’s ghost, one that leaves him quite curious, especially when it turns out that both she and her new husband have vanished, leaving their worldly possessions behind. From there, we learn that a space saucer cult has grown up around town and everybody seems to have their hands tired by the cult, which apparently recruits through donut shops and occasionally spiked donuts that make exploring their UFO museum quite interesting. While this one never quite lived up to the promise it seems to make in the early going, it is a decent enough read.

[Donne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not being a fan of cult stories, it’s highly unlikely that I would pick up a book about a bunch of doomsday, space nuts who believe that aliens will invade the world and that only one man (it’s almost always a man) can save them, if they follow his orders and beliefs. I have absolutely no sympathy, and very little patience, for supposedly sane and responsible people who willingly become obsessed slaves to some idiotic, narcissistic, criminal, @$$#*!%$ with a God complex. There’s already too much of that stupid nonsense in real life, I certainly don’t want to waste my precious free time reading about it. However, the one thing that was the deciding factor for me was this paragraph:

Brimming with colorful characters and Lansdale’s characteristic bounce, this rollicking crime novel examines the insidious rise of fringe groups and those under their sway with black comedy and glints of pathos.

Knowing that the author intended to amuse and entertain the reader by making fun of this type of scenario was definitely something I knew I would enjoy. And enjoy, I did. This was another one of those books that hubby told me I had to go and read out in the living room, if I was going to read it at night, because my laughing was keeping him awake.

The book summary lays out the premise for the primary storyline, so I won’t repeat it here. Pretty much from the get-go, Lansdale’s introduction of the MC’s has me chuckling or cracking up over the chemistry and interactions between the characters as well as the scrapes they get themselves into. There’s Charlie, a former police officer turned mediocre writer, his brother Felix (LOVE FELIX!!!), a former psychologist turned private investigator, Felix’s girlfriend, Cherry, an attorney that Felix affectionately calls “The Shark”, and Amelia “Scrappy” Moon, a former dental hygienist who wants to write a book about the “Saucer People”, the doomsday space nuts who believe that aliens will invade the world and that only one man can save them, if they follow his orders and beliefs. All of this taking place in east TX, where large groups of people believe that the perfect planet is a “planet where they can wake up with plenty of guns, food and supplies and be made whole again.” (Lansdale’s words, not mine). LMAO, only in TX😂

For most of the story, Charlie and his motley crew spend their time investigating the cult as well as the disappearances of Charlie’s ex-wife, Meg (who he’s still in love with), and her current husband, Ethan. They hook up with a cult member, Kevin, who works at a donut shop where the cult launders their money. Kevin ends up dead after providing Charlie with info on the cult as well as Meg and Ethan’s participation. This is not a spoiler because it’s revealed early in the story.

The second half of the story reveals the depths and extent that the cult’s power as well as their control over many of the town’s residents, businesses and even some of the police department. Charlie and his gang, along with the Police Chief Nelson (one of the few on the force who is not a member of the Saucer People), and his dog, Tag, discover some important evidence that takes the investigation into a different direction that suddenly makes it a whole lot more dangerous for all of them.

Now, I know a lot of people won’t like that I did this, but the dog doesn’t die. I know I always want to know that info whenever a dog is introduced into the story (especially a story about a bunch people who are absolutely cray cray), and I know there are others like me who like to know too. The ending seems to come pretty quick after this and while it was a little sad and heartbreaking for some and got a kind weird at parts (but still hilarious), it was a satisfying end.

This story was definitely a rollicking examination of insidious fringe groups and those under their sway. It was also brimming with colorful characters and black comedy. Lansdale is a pretty good writer and storyteller with a wicked sense of humor too. This was the first book I’ve ever read from Lansdale, but it definitely won’t be the last. I’ve already checked out his other work and added another book to my to-read list. I want to thank NetGalley and Mulholland Books, for sending me this eARC in exchange for my honest review.

@NetGalley @MullhollandBooks @TheDonutLegion

[Michael Hicks · Rating 3 out of 5]

Charlie Garner suffers from recurring headaches on a daily basis. After being visited by the spirit of his ex-wife, who warns him to "Watch out for omelets. And beware the great mound within the circle," he learns that she and her new husband have gone missing. Former cop turned PI turned author, Charlie knows the local cops are worthless and so enlists the help of his brother, Felix, who has taken over Charlie's PI biz, to help track down Meg. They believe her disappearance is related to the local UFO cult propping up May Town -- Meg worked at one of the many donut shops owned by the cult -- and as their investigation deepens the more the body count rises, and the more Charlie begins to realize that his headaches are only just getting started.

Let me admit at the outset here that I'm a relative newbie when it comes to the works of Joe R. Lansdale. I've only started reading him these last couple years, beginning with the publication of More Better Deals and Moon Lake. The Donut Legion isn't as good as Moon Lake, but I enjoyed it a bit more than More Better Deals. It's a fun, kooky bit of Texas noir with the usual Lansdale-ian flair that even Johnny-come-lately readers like myself are familiar with, largely due to osmosis thanks to the author's vast prolificness.

The dialogue is whip sharp and snappy, the premise as about as out-there as you can get while still being a grounded mainstream mystery, and the bad guys have an almost-80s action movie aesthetic about them. The Saucer People, as they're known about May Town, are the good ol boys answer to Scientology, and their enforcement arm, known as the Managers, are headed up by a 7-foot-tall ex-con known as The Cowboy. The Cowboy has a bloodthirsty chimpanzee capable of tearing a grown man limb from limb.

Along the way, we get a few reflections on religion and modern policing. The Garner brothers know the May Town cops won't bother investigating Meg's disappearance, let alone go after the cult that fills the town coffers, reflecting that "They mainly drink coffee and buy donuts, shoot a Black guy now and then," and are "trigger-happy assholes who watch too many cowboy movies." As far as the outlandishness of the cult itself... well, one certainly has to reckon with just how goofy they really are. Cults are certainly commonplace, after all, from smaller groups like Heaven's Gate, to far larger and wealthier organizations with a global reach, like Scientology, Christianity, and Islam. The Saucer People's space-age beliefs aren't really any more outlandish than the ancient myths of the Bible. A former cultist justifies his youthful foolishness with, "If you can be groomed to be a Baptist, a Buddhist, a Muslim, a Mormon, or whatever, you can convinced." What's the difference between the Saucer People and their grifting con-man of a leader and any other religion? He then goes on to sum up all of religion in a nutshell: "Pretty sweet selling something invisible, isn't it?" It certainly makes Joel Osteen smile wide, that's for damn sure.

As you might expect from a noir about a murderous UFO cult and a killer chimp, The Donut Legion is the kind of crazy that only Lansdale can pull off successfully. I doubt many other authors could handle these oddball elements even half as capably (I can think of only Adam Howe as a similarly exceptional storyteller in the Lansdale vein), but Lansdale is one of those unique once in a generation kind of authors. He brings all these oddities together, seemingly effortlessly, to craft a fun pulp detective novel. It's a brisk, easy read, but at the same time it's not one you'll be thinking about when you put the book down, longing to get back to it. It doesn't redefine the genre or turn it on its head. The Donut Legion is a simple time-killer and, like many of the genre's earliest pulp works, ultimately disposable. But it sure is fun when you're engaged with it.

[Kenneth McKinley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Lansdale is an absolute master at creating memorable characters who use witty, biting dialogue. The banter back and forth between his cast is unrivaled by any author I’ve ever read… and I’ve read my share.

Ex-detective, now turned full-time writer, Charlie receives a late-night visit from his ex-wife, Meg. Or does he? Wondering if he’s going crazy, he attempts to contact her the next day. No dice. She’s missing. But where did she go? And why is he getting a visit from her what? Apparition? Charlie needs answers, and his question of Meg’s whereabouts leads him down one mysterious rabbit hole after another, including a UFO cult who has done a remarkable job of not only luring in weak-minded followers looking for answers, but control the money and the minds of their little Texas burg, May Town.

Only Lansdale could take these characters, add in a cantankerous sheriff, a money laundering donut shop, a UFO cult run by an evil seven-foot tall ex-con who has a penchant for starting fires, a face-ripping chimpanzee, a rhino for a brother who runs his old detective firm, and a spunky grifter who shows up to write a book and ends up catching more than his eye. I blew through The Donut Legion like a runaway freight train and loved every delightful page. Lansdale is money in the bank. I can’t recommend his writing any higher than this. If you haven’t read Joe’s work, The Donut Legion would be a great place to start before moving on to his Hap and Leonard series.


Rating: 5 Acid-Laced Donuts out of 5

[Amanda Minor · Rating 2 out of 5]

This is a story about a ragtag group of individuals investigating a donut-peddling UFO-worshipping cult in East Texas. This book has a beautiful cover. That is about where my list of positive things to say about this book ends. I believe there is an audience for this book. I also believe that I am not a member of that audience. One of the main things that turned me off of this book were the frequent references to bestiality. They were made in a joking way that felt crude and uncalled for. The number of times this issue popped up was ABSURD. Outside of the bestiality comments, there were many general crude comments that were off putting. (i.e. “He had a high sweet voice like Minnie Mouse during sex with Mickey. Or, if she was promiscuous, Goofy.”) The strange quips and stream of consciousness statements of this book were confusing and distracting. The main characters are depicted as being in their 20s and 30s. I could not keep this straight in my mind. I continuously pictured them as being in their 50s or 60s. Their voices were not believable Millennial voices. Everything about the dialogue in this story felt so outdated. If the characters were going to be that young, this story would’ve had to have been set in the 70s or 80s to make sense. And no, it was not because they are southern. A major plot point of this story is the search for the main characters ex-wife. At one point I forgot that was the goal of the main character. I forgot the ex-wife character existed at all. The woman characters in this story did not feel like women. I don’t know how else to describe it. This book took me over a month to finish but it held my interest enough for me to want to know how the story ended. The ending disappointed me and seemed completely separate from the rest of the story. This book left me confused, unsatisfied and feeling kind of icky. This book was clearly not for me. I think it may find a home with the 50+ male demographic. Thanks to NetGalley and Mullholland Books for the eARC of this book.

[Caleb · Rating 1 out of 5]

Let me start by saying I have read almost every Joe Lansdale novel that's been published. The Hap and Leonard series is one of the best I've ever read and I will read anything published by Lansdale purely based on the strength of his writing. But this book...... is not how I want to spend my time. I will admit that I only read the first third of the book, but I couldn't make it further. Let's forget the barely fleshed out characters and strange choppy dialogue for a second, and talk about how I felt like I was reading a republican manifesto to their lord trump. The repeated mentions of how covid was over and it was all bullshit, really pissed me off. The main character at one point is excited to shake hands again, like a man, now that this "covid business" is over. My favorite cousin died from covid. Over 2,000 people died from covid in the U.S. last week. It's not over. I always thought there was a liberal lean to Lansdale despite his novels being set in East Texas. But this garbage is far from my beliefs and if wanted some nutty bullshit, I would watch fox news. Very disappointing.

[Blair Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

Joe Lansdale delivers a fast-paced story set in east Texas, packed with mystery, murder, sex, donuts, coffee, and an extraterrestrial cult!

“Cults always turn into being about sex and money, don’t they?”
-Joe R. Lansdale

[Mike Hughes · Rating 5 out of 5]

Again Joe does it. Another easy to read story that has it all. Great characters and unique individuals along the way to keep the story moving along. Really enjoyed all aspects of the book and can't recommend it enough. If your a Lansdale fan your gonna love it.

[Chris Haught · Rating 4 out of 5]

I received a free eARC of this title from the publisher through NetGalley...

This was a fantastic ride, from the author of the Hap & Leonard series and many more works. I mention H&L because this reminded me of those, in the setting and tone, and in the fast pace of the narrative.

A fun, quick read from one of today's master storytellers...

[Mike Finn]

I picked up 'Donut Legion' because I usually enjoy Joe Lansdale's stuff and the reviewers I follow rated this one highly. Sadly, after a couple of hours (27%) I had to accept that this one wasn't doing it for me.

I was struggling to engage with the story even though the plot worked well enough, the prose was functional, the dialogue was lively, the characters were larger-than-life and some of the humour made me laugh.

It's a book I should have been relishing for its dry humour and for its evisceration of cult culture. I kept nodding my head at comments from characters about how people's need to believe can be manipulated by those who have never believed in anything except their own right to whatever they want.

When I though about it, I could see that my problem was the main character. Charlie Garner. Charlie's the kind of man I ought to find it easy to engage with. He's a literate, autodidact with a clear view of himself and a penchant for independent thinking. Yet, telling the story through his eyes got in the way of my engagement with the story. To me, he seemed more like a vacancy than a presence. He should have had skin in the game, given that he was on a quest to rescue his ex-twife but I couldn't feel it. He was smart, sometimes witty, resourceful and persistent but I couldn't make an emotional connection to him. He felt more like a plot device than a person.

So, I'm letting the mystery of the saucerpeople and their donuts go, while I move on to my next book.

[Yev · Rating 2 out of 5]

The core of this novel is decent, but I felt it was entirely weighed down by everything else about it. Most of that could've been avoided by updating the language to be suitable for a novel set in around 2023. The protagonist is 34 and his older brother is 37, yet they almost exclusively make references from the 1960s. As someone of this age, I was confused by this because they wouldn't be the relevant references at all. I was familiar with them, but they were still rather off-putting. Lansdale should've either set the novel to be in an earlier time, made the characters older, or had someone help him by providing the proper references for the character's ages.

Although this is primarily a mystery novel with some thriller elements, humor plays a large role as well. Unfortunately, the humor fell flat with me. Sometimes I didn't realize it was meant to be humorous until a bit after I read it. The euphemistic sex humor between the protagonist and his love interest was especially baffling considering all the other jokes, bestiality being a reoccurring one. I don't know what tone the humor was going for either as it ranged widely. There was a lot that didn't quite make sense to me, but maybe I was looking at it from the wrong perspective, including the humor.

So, as to what the novel is actually about, the protagonist has a vision about his ex-wife and he takes it seriously. This leads him to suspect that the titular Donut Legion, a cult, may be involved. The protagonist is a writer, though he decides to play sleuth with his brother and some others that he comes across. Fortunately for him, aside from his adversaries everyone is plot convenient and readily infodumps. It's possibly that the novel is satirical or a parody at times, but if it is, it mostly went over my head.

The humor isn't the only tone that I was confused about. It goes from a guy who's just trying to find out about his ex-wife wife and not expecting any real drama to some gruesome scenes. It's a bit like watching a Scooby-Doo episode and then halfway through they find mangled bodies or an episode of The Andy Griffith Show where they come across a mass grave filled with decapitated corpses. Both of these shows are referenced in the text and may be part of the satire, or if may be just that I'm trying to make some sense of what I read and there's nothing to it. Maybe that gap is even the point, I don't know.

I've read ten works of short fiction by Lansdale before, which ranged from terrible to good, more so the former, though this is the first novel of his that I've finished. As this was a group read, I was told by the others who've read previous novels by him that this wasn't representative of his work, and was decent at best. I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt that that's true and give his earlier novels another chance someday and I'll continue to read his short fiction that I come across.

[Michael J. · Rating 4 out of 5]

In his inimitable folksy style, Joe R. Lansdale skewers religious cults, ufologists, gun fanatics and extremist groups both left and right in a biting, often hilarious mystery revolving around a Jim Jones-like evangelist for extraterrestrials coming to save the Earth. The Garner brothers are extremely likable characters, and I hope he finds another story for them in the future.
I love reading Joe R. Lansdale for a variety of reasons. First and foremost, he's a natural story-teller whose style speaks to everyone. He's also an inventive creator of homemade colloquialisms and observations that create some incredible and amusing images. Here's a few examples . . . . .
Page 47: Felix turned his attention back to the duo. Muscles seemed angry enough to fart a rain cloud with residual lightning. The other man looked a little nervous, like a supportive brother who was rethinking things about the debt of kinship.
Page 48: Felix shoved Muscles into his brother again. That pinned the backup brother between Muscles and the wall - - a brotherly sandwich. The smaller man's arms were waving out behind Muscles like a traffic cop trying to slow a speeder.
Page 51: He was quite old. His nose was large, and his head was too. He was bald except for a circle of hair around his temples that looked like a brown ring inside an uncleaned toilet.
More of Page 51: The package was wrapped in brown paper. For him to have carried it upstairs was akin to a donkey with broken legs trying to wiggle his way up a greased playground slide. The skin on his arms shook like a loose suit as he settled himself. If one of his bones broke, he'd probably collapse into a puddle."
Sometimes the imagery is so vivid it evokes other senses, like smell. For example, Page 103: The bathroom was off to the side and barely large enough to turn around in. It had a peeling tile floor and a toilet with a crusty pee-stained interior thick enough for turds to build lakeside condos on. Last time it had been cleaned was the day it came from the factory.

[Steph · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is one I tried a few months ago and I couldn’t get into the physical book, but I tried the audiobook and thought it was really well done and it helped me connect to the story. There is a full cast and it’s done as a performance where they all speak their own lines, which I love. Unfortunately around chapter 50, the MC narration done by the author starts to sound like he’s talking underwater on a really old iPhone which was a bit frustrating given its right as everything starts to come together.

The story itself is a bit over the top and unrealistic, but its an entertaining old school who done it type private investigator style mystery. There were some things I could have done without in the plot, especially the focus on hooking up (both with humans and with goats, yes goats) but overall it was an entertaining listen.

Thanks to Novel Suspects for the ARC!

[Tiger · Rating 4 out of 5]

Another fun filled, zany ride with Joe Lansdale. Charlie Garner's ex-wife has disappeared along with her new husband under circumstances that Charlie thinks look a little suspicious. Along with his brute-of-a-brother Felix, they look into Meg's recent past and find a cult know as "The Saucer People" who operate a frightening compound. Filled with Lansdale's trademark humor and prose, as well as his usual colorful characters (including a chimpanzee named Mr.Biggs), this was a very fun read.

[Katie T]

Dnf 21%. I hate this.

[Dustin · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5/5 rounded down.

[Elena Linville-Abdo · Rating 2 out of 5]

Stars: 2 out of 5.

DNF at 54%.

This was my first encounter with this author, and it didn't go as well as I would have hoped. This book just felt... off. 

While I was quite excited to read about a small town in East Texas and discover some of the quirky characters that call it home, something about those characters just felt... unnatural. They didn't read like fleshed-out people but more like an amalgamation of quirks and one-liners that the author wanted to put there. That wouldn't have been a problem for supporting characters that we only see for a couple of pages and never hear from again. But here even the main protagonist doesn't read like a fleshed-out character. 

Also, the main plot is to find the protagonist's ex-wife, right? Well, for the first 200 pages or so, this is barely mentioned. Yes, he makes some enquiries, but our protagonist does not feel any urgency, dread, or emotion about it. He tells his brother that he thinks he is still in love with her, but none of his actions show it. If my ex went missing and showed up as a ghost, I would have been moving heaven and earth to find out what happened, but Charlie just kind of... takes his time to look into that in between long discussions about the nature of religion and cults with his brother, or other philosophical meanderings along the way. 

And that brings me to the next part that didn't work for me - the tone of this book is definitely not my cup of tea. Is this supposed to be a serious thriller? A satire? A parody? There are jokes throughout but to me they fall flat, especially when put alongside graphic descriptions of some pretty gruesome murders. I mean a guy Charlie talked to is basically dismembered and burned, and Charlie's reaction to learning this is... nothing. Not even horrified, or feeling guilty about it, because his interrogating this guy might have been the cause for this. His reaction is just to shrug and move on. That doesn't make me like the protagonist any better, sorry.

Then "Scrappy" comes to the scene and the book fell apart for me. She is not a likable or believable character. In fact, she comes across as extremely rude and self-serving. And again, Charlie says he might still have feelings for his ex-wife, yet he falls for her almost from the get-go. 

All in all, the jarring juxtaposition of humor that mostly fell flat for me and depictions of some pretty graphic and horrible murders made me gradually lose interest in this book. Added to that some irritating characters, and I am calling it quits. I might try another book by this author, since some reviewers say that this wasn't his strongest offering.

PS: I received an advanced copy of this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

[incipit mania]

Incipit
Era notte fonda e mi trovavo sul mio portico panoramico, seduto al tavolo con una tazza di tè caldo e una coperta buttata sulle spalle, a farmi passare un leggero mal di testa.
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[Jason Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had never read Lansdale before. I’ve been missing out. Donut Legion is a “small” story filled with big characters. The dialogue is whip smart and damned funny. Lansdale has a huge catalogue; time to dive in.

[Jeanette]

No rating. He's a good writer. And I have appreciated many of his novels. Most to 4 stars degree.

Yet, in this one. I made it a DNF after less than 100 pages. Too many reasons to list. Truly. But the main one being the language became habitual over the top in gross factor. Together with the ghosties and other tangent accepted givens as evident criteria? Too far for me to jump.

These characters are likeable? Come on. Cartoonish. And the dialogue was 2 stars, very unlike a Joe R. Lansdale, IMHO.

I can accept certain amounts of derogatory or decadent, foul sets of similes or metaphors. But not to this extent for the characters portrayed here. Nope. Too many other books in this genre far more clever and interesting in the pile.

This is not at all up to his former depth and pace in characters or in plot.

[MM Suarez · Rating 5 out of 5]

"We are not a practical species, and we are for sure not nearly as smart as we think. We want to believe we have a place for our souls to land, if indeed we have them. We want to believe in an ultimate truth."

I am a certified Joe Lansdale fan, the master at creating interesting (if somewhat wacky) characters, and witty, laugh-out-loud repartee.
What we have here is a story about two brothers, Charlie and Felix, who along with a girl nicknamed Scrappy and a large dog named Tag get themselves into some serious trouble that includes a donut making spaceship cult, very large bad men, and an angry chimpanzee.😊
Recommend to Lansdale fans and anyone who needs a laugh.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

This could just have well been a Hap and Leonard story and I’ve got a bit bored of them.

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having read 5 other Lansdale novels before this one, I pretty much knew what I was getting with this novel. I’m so happy to see that it was more of the same wonderful writing. With all that witty dialogue, great characters and all, it was really fun. A bit gory with the deaths and dismemberments, but what are you gonna do…? I’m not bothered by this at all. I really enjoyed the hell out of this novel.
***I have one minor quibble though. At one point in the audiobook, the quality of the audio changed. It went from sounding professional, like it was done in a studio, to sounding like Lansdale was in a tunnel… I think about halfway through? I can’t remember exactly where, now - but you can definitely hear the huge differences. Lansdale’s voice had an echo-y reverb that was patched in to the other narrator’s dialogues, and it was very, very noticeable. (At least it was to me, but then again audiobooks are my main form on reading). Someone on Hachette Audio should try and keep this from happening again.

So Joe Lansdale was the voice of the MC Charlie Garner. The other narrators include Kasey Lansdale, Finlay Stevenson, January LaVoy, Marc Vietor, Greg Littlefield, and Brad Sanders. I seriously wish I could tell you all who was who, but the audiobook just doesn’t tell you, either at the beginning or the end. I hate that…
Anyway, this full cast was wonderful! I enjoyed them all SO MUCH, but then again I’m a huge fan of full casts. It makes it so easier to tell everyone apart! And yes, I really did love every single one of you narrators. Kudos for making such an enjoyable and wonderful audiobook, everyone!

All in all, this novel was a really great way to spend the evening. It also solidifies my love for Lansdale’s writing. I’m definitely going to keep reading more of his novels, in the future.

4 stars, and recommended

***Animal death - - But the Dog DOES NOT DIE.

[Sarah-Grace (Azrael865) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Charlie gets a bad feeling when he speaks with his ex-wife late one night. She drops by unannounced to visit and after a strange conversation, she vanishes. Was it only a dream or was Charlie speaking with a ghost? Charlie decides to find out what happened to Meg and her current husband, when he discovers that they really have gone missing.
Charlie enlists the help of his older brother Felix, a private Investigator. Other characters join the investigation as it leads the brothers deeper into a sinister cult organization. The believers give their money to fund weapons purchases and canned food stockpiling, readying for the day when benign aliens come to take them to a battle against evil aliens, their reward being the inheritance of a paradise planet and immortality.
This story is full if enjoyable characters. My only issue is the view point shared by most of the main characters, that anyone with any kind of belief system is as brainwashed and demented as group of people who would believe in an alien apocalypse.

Thank you to Netgalley and Mulholland Books for the opportunity to enjoy this fun break from reality.

[Steve · Rating 3 out of 5]

Charlie Garner has a dream about his ex-wife delivering some strange warnings. He still has lots of feelings for her, so he starts trying to find out what happened to her, since she and her new lover left their apartment empty. That turns into a look into a UFO cult outside of their small Texas town. Lansdale constructs the plot well, and the big set piece that resolves the situation is satisfying and effective and strange. Lots of killing throughout the book, including some sympathetic characters. I liked the relationship between Charlie and the young writer called Scrappy, and Charlie's brother and his lawyer. A fast read, not up with Lansdale's best, but still pretty satisfying.