Girl Friends

by Holly Bourne

"Men see women in two separate categories. There are the women they sleep with, and the women they fall in love with. And they will treat you differently based on that."

From the day they first meet as teenagers Fern and Jessica are best friends. Despite their differences, they are there for each other throughout everything, navigating the difficulties of growing up and fitting in. That is until Jessica crosses a line that Fern can't forgive.

But now, more than ten years later, Jessica has unexpectedly reappeared in Fern's life.

A lot has changed for them both - but can their relationship be different now they are older? Is it possible for either of them to rewrite the role that they have been cast in? Or will their shared history ultimately be doomed to repeat itself again?

Set between the present day and the past, GIRL FRIENDS is a blisteringly funny and devastating novel: both a joyful celebration of female friendship and a razor-sharp look at the damage we can all cause to those we claim to love the most.

Genres: Fiction, Contemporary, Feminism, Mental Health, Literary Fiction, Adult, Friendship

444 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 27, 2022

About the author

Holly started her writing career as a news journalist, where she was nominated for Best Print Journalist of the Year. She then spent six years working as an editor, a relationship advisor, and general ‘agony aunt’ for a youth charity – helping young people with their relationships and mental health.

Inspired by what she saw, she started writing teen fiction, including the best-selling, award-winning ‘Spinster Club’ series which helps educate teenagers about feminism. When she turned thirty, Holly wrote her first adult novel, 'How Do You Like Me Now?', examining the intensified pressures on women once they hit that landmark.

Alongside her writing, Holly has a keen interest in women’s rights and is an advocate for reducing the stigma of mental health problems. She’s helped create online apps that teach young people about sexual consent, works with Women’s Aid to spread awareness of abusive relationships, and runs Rethink’s mental health book club.

Reviews

[Emily May · Rating 4 out of 5]

"There's no such thing as 'good men' and 'bad men.' They are the same men," she said. "They just treat different women differently based on how they view you."

I told my friend while reading this book that I was thankful I hadn't discovered Holly Bourne as a teenager because I'm pretty sure I would have developed a complex about men and relationships. Well, more so than I already did, being a teenage girl and all.

There are a lot of ugly truths crawling around inside When We Were Friends. Too often it reminded me of my own adolescence and college years-- the female friendships fraught with jealousies, the desperation to be thought attractive, the insecurities and anxiety, the performances we put on so we could have romantic relationships that were dissatisfying anyway.

Bourne has explored teen friendships and romantic relationships before, but where this one differs is that it is actually an adult novel about reevaluating adolescence when you are grown and more removed from the events that unfolded.

It begins when an old friend of Fern's from school, Jessica, turns up out of the blue and attempts to reconnect. Fern hasn't spoken to Jessica ever since a betrayal tore apart their friendship, but they're older now, more mature and with more life experience, so surely things will be different this time. However, the more Jessica slots herself into Fern's life once again, the more Fern finds herself having doubts that people ever really change.

I found Bourne's Pretending especially depressing because it ultimately suggests that what happens to us in those formative teen years defines who we are and shapes the life we go on to have afterwards. This book touches on that again-- even though Fern is now in her thirties, she cannot fully let go of the anxieties and insecurities she had at sixteen.

There are so many aspects to this book that I related to.

For one, finding men on Facebook wearing 'feminist' t-shirts: the very same men who slut-shamed, belittled, cheated on, ghosted and sexually assaulted girls when they were in high school or college. Don't get me wrong, I am a fan of people changing, growing and maturing, but the hypocrisy still stings a bit.

For another, the weird conflict often felt as a teenager between wanting to be a strong, modern feminist and "being jealous of your friend who got assaulted on the dance floor because why didn't he pick you to assault?" What a mess. I applaud any woman who made it through this time without getting completely screwed up.

However long the wait is for Bourne's next book, it will be too long.

[Em Lost In Books · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5*

Another solid book, Holly Bourne is slowly becoming one of those authors whose work I look forward to reading.

[Tatiana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another novel about a female friendship, another 5-star read.

When We Were Friends would make a marvelous companion to Idol. While they explore different themes, they are about those intense female friendships that I can't get enough of, it seems.

Fern and Jessica had a falling out in their teen years. Now, in their thirties, they come together again and try to rekindle their friendship. The story is told in alternating timelines (just like Idol!) and explores the women's dynamic through the years. Can they make it work? Should they make it work after everything they've been through? I still don't know.

There is a ton of juicy stuff to unpack here. Jealousy, insecurity, hookup culture, feminism, victimhood and also pure love. The way women's relationship orbit around and are corrupted by men. I can't even list everything that went into writing this book. I didn't always agree with where Bourne landed with her story, but she is a master of writing about about girls and women. Plus her books are unputdownable.

[Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Pleasantly surprised by how much I ended up liking this book! When We Were Friends follows Fern, who was best friends with Jessica when they were in high school. They shared their deepest and darkest secrets with one another, slept over at each other’s places and had fun silly times together, and talked about school and boys and their parents. But Jessica did something that betrayed Fern’s trust so Fern cut her off. Ten years later, Fern works as a writer and an aspiring mental health counselor, when Jessica reemerges out of the blue. They start to rekindle their friendship, but can Fern trust Jessica after what happened in their shared past?

I will start with some of what I didn’t like about the book before moving onto the positives. I found the writing style kind of clunky, especially the first 50% or so of the book – the characters’ jokes felt a bit forced, some dialogue came across as awkward, and I couldn’t really fully immerse myself in Holly Bourne’s prose. I was definitely leaning toward three stars for a large portion of my reading experience.

But, around the 65% mark, something about this book really clicked for me. Part of it I think was the suspense of whether Fern and Jessica would be able to actually form a friendship again. I also felt like Bourne’s writing came across as more authentic in the latter half of the book. Finally, several of the book’s themes came together toward the end. Throughout the novel Fern is obsessed with the male gaze and what men think of her, and there’s also an emphasis throughout the novel of the casual violence and degrading ways boys and men treat women. While the delivery of those ideas didn’t feel 100% skilled in the first half of the book, Bourne really did make the feminist commentary about sexual violence and female friendship come through by the end of the novel. I was impressed by how she wrote about Fern and Jessica’s friendship and the ways they were both able to mature and grow.

Overall, if the story sounds interesting to you I’d recommend. I think there could have been a bit more unpacking of the male gaze theme (something that is unfortunately super prevalent in the gay male scene too), though I respect and appreciate Bourne’s overall commitment to her feminist message in this novel. Other friendship-focused novels I’ve liked included When You Were Everything by Ashley Woodfolk and We Used to be Friends by Amy Spalding!

[Kat Book Deli · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had to take so many breaks when reading this book because the accuracy with which Holly Bourne writes being a teenage girl makes me so viscerally uncomfortable I was having flashbacks

But then again, if Holly Bourne ever wants to open applications for a little sister I would like to apply

[Helena (helenareadsxx) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Holly Bourne never fails to deliver. I absolutely loved the discussion of friendships and how they grow, evolve and change over time. The discussions of feminism were so impactful and the triggering topics mentioned were handled so thoughtfully and were so insightful. Thank you to NetGalley, Holly Bourne and Hodder for this ARC! I can't wait for my signed edition from Waterstones to arrive!

[Gabri · Rating 2 out of 5]

Unfortunately, I had to drop two stars because the ending was infuriating. It ruined everything that I thought this book was going to stand for.

Let me start off by saying that this book was an intoxicating mess, but one that felt right because it was so damn relatable. The teenage depression and insecurities, and even the frickin “why are you doing this to us” mentality from her mother.
But what made this book stand out from all the other angsty YA’s were two major themes that I could relate to even more: 1. How the teenage insecurities can lead to bigger issues such as an unhealthy need for validation and self-sabotage; and 2. Toxic friendships. Not all girlfriends are besties like YA books make you believe. And man, did it throw me back. I hated it, but at the same time appreciated how painfully accurate this book was.

So forgive me for needing a proper ending for these two important themes. Because I don’t know what kind of mindfuck I just read.

(Spoilers ahead!)


1. Fern doesn’t learn to deal with her issues. She gets “chosen” by Ben and that’s when she feels like she’s finally able to let go of her excessive jealousy and insecurities. The solution to her constant need for validation and fear of rejection literally is getting validated by others, in this case her boyfriend through proposal. The only thing she jokingly says she needs more counseling for is accusing her “best friend” of sleeping with her boyfriend. It was ridiculous.
It became even more ridiculous when Jessica actually admitted that she had been flirting with Ben - nullifying the whole idea that Fern was unjustified in her jealousy and had gotten Jessica wrong.

2. Jessica is portrayed as a victim, as someone who let herself be taken advantage of by men as a way of self-harming. And this makes Fern “realize” that she has been a bad friend to Jessica and that she should’ve “saved” her from these men instead. While I think it’s interesting to add this dimension to Jessica of showing her real motives and showing that she isn’t a bad person per se, by no means it follows that Fern was the bad friend and that she should be held responsible for her actions (or lack thereof). I really hoped that the “there are no good or bad men” belief would be extended to girl friendships, because looking back, I don’t think my toxic friends were bad people or had bad intentions. But that doesn’t make them less toxic, does it? And the fact is that Fern & Jessica’s friendship was toxic as hell. While you can forgive someone for what they did to you, it doesn’t mean you should keep them in your life, because the dynamic between the two of you just isn’t healthy.
Annoyingly, the preachy feminist rant on the final pages shows the author holds a belief of “men are evil and us women should unite against them and not fight each other”, as if all men are evil and all women are to be excused from toxic behaviour.

And you know who Fern wants to counsel? “Young women who’ve been messed up by men”
Uggghhhh.

[Laura Angell · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've read all of Holly Bourne's novels and I absolutely love her writing style. I also love that you can guarantee they will all examine ideas about femininity, force you to question your own feminist values, and champion female friendships beyond all else.
That being said, I did find it a little disappointing that ultimately she finds peace when she eventually gets "chosen" and engaged to Ben. I feel like it was a real shame that this novel ended with the super traditional ending of a woman being happy because she's been "chosen" to be a man's bride. In my opinion this is a bit of a let down - I'd have loved to see the novel end on Fern learning that this idea of being "chosen" is all just hetro-patriarchal BS and that she wanted more from life than just to be someone's wife.
I wish this obsession of being worthy of being "chosen" had been interrogated a little more, because I gotta say, as a woman who hasn't had a ring put on it, I did end the novel feeling a little insecure about myself not being "good enough" because my boyfriend hasn't proposed to me in a super basic white man way with loads of candles... which sits weirdly with me because I'm certain that HB doesn't actually believe women who aren't brides-to-be are any less worthy than their engagement-free friends - even if that's what Fern seems to think.
Despite that, I think all the stuff with Jessica was really interesting and definitely forced me to confront my own prejudices and beliefs when it comes to a lot of what was discussed; the novel was strongest when highlighting Fern's conflict between being a good feminist and also being a member of a patriarchal & capitalist society.
An interesting and powerful novel about female friendship but let down by a boring, predictable, basic ending of a woman getting a happily ever after because a man has picked her rather than her friend.

[Kara Babcock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once more, Holly Bourne has done the nearly impossible: she has made me feel sympathy for the plight of white straight cis women.

Fern is thirty-one at the beginning of Girl Friends (published as When We Were Friends in North America, but I didn’t realize it was being published here simultaneously and pre-ordered a UK copy instead). Her best friend from adolescence, Jessica, suddenly re-enters her life. But Jessica used to be a hot mess, as they say, and still might be, and Fern is ambivalent about rekindling this friendship. After a tumultuous adolescence including self-harm and suicide ideation (trigger warnings for scenes with these in the book), Fern is finally on a better path, writing about mental health for a digital publication and training to become a counsellor. She even has a boyfriend she loves and who will probably propose to her any day now—right? He’s going to propose to her, right? RIGHT?

Seriously, though, I don’t know what kind of magic Bourne puts into her books, but they feel so incredibly relatable despite the fact that I came to my womanhood only recently, have no romantic or sexual interest in men, and generally have eschewed or not had the opportunity to participate in a lot of the conventional activities that white women of the age and class of Bourne’s heroines tend to do. I don’t really think I am the target audience for this book, and yet it has won me over. That’s just how good she is.

I think partly it’s just the ease with which Bourne includes little examples here and there that, I imagine, resonate for much of her target audience. To give myself credit, many of my friends are straight cis women, and so I have a lot of experience empathizing with this group. I’ve been a shoulder many a time. So Bourne has this way of leaning into tropes, playing them straight when it helps establish character and scene (as we see at the beginning with Fern’s encounter with a youthful influencer) and averting or subverting them in the most dramatic moments (as we see at the climax of the story). Some of the best parts of this novel are the quietest, the most unremarkable, depicting everyday stuff that a lot of women will smile and nod along to, whether it’s Fern’s body image issues or her anxiety and insecurity in her relationship with her boyfriend, Ben.

Honestly, Fern is kind of an unlikeable—albeit not unsympathetic—character. For much of the book, I was cringing a little as I read her thoughts (and I had her pegged as an unreliable narrator from the start). I don’t think we are supposed to like Fern unconditionally, because it’s kind of the point: Bourne is illustrating that Fern’s hang-ups over Jessica, over Ben not proposing, over needing to be completely secure and in control of her entire life, are normal but not desirable. Fern is an extremely flawed main character, and she makes a lot of mistakes. But the book never judges her for this. Never encourages us to think less of her. So even though I felt uncomfortable at times as I watched Fern spiral, I knew this was happening for a reason.

I loved the alternating chapters. First, I’m a sucker for how these encourage you to keep reading so that you can get back to the time period you just left. Second, younger Fern is even more fucked up than older Fern in so many ways—but again, she’s also a very normal teenage girl in many ways. There’s one scene in particular where Bourne describes how she’s trying to pose attractively while suntanning near an attractive boy, and it made me think about what must be going through many straight teenage girls’ minds in those moments. The calculation. The emotional devastation that can be wrought with a single look. As with her depiction of older Fern, Bourne makes us conscious here that younger Fern’s actions aren’t good but never encourages us to judge her for that.

For a book that is, in many ways, an indictment of patriarchy on the development of women’s psyches, Girl Friends has an admirably diverse cast of male characters. Most of the men in this book are indeed terrible, but they are terrible in different ways. And some of the men aren’t terrible at all, or at least, we don’t see that side of them. Sometimes, the differences of opinion between Fern and a male character, like Ben, are less about patriarchy and more about coming from different backgrounds and experiences—Ben tries hard to be a good man and a good partner to Fern, but he didn’t experience life as a teenage girl in a small English town. Despite sharing a knowledge base in psychology, the two of them don’t always see eye-to-eye because their insecurities and fears are drawn from different places. That’s really interesting to me, the dynamic between them. Something similar happens between Fern and her best friend, Heather, who is a lesbian and much more strident about her feminism. Heather is not a better feminist than Fern simply for being more direct about it, but she also isn’t a worse one.

Girl Friends is a messy book in this way. Bourne reminds us that all of us, no matter where we come from, are struggling with our imperfection. We cannot be the perfect feminist, the perfect counsellor, the perfect girlfriend, or the perfect girl friend. We are, all of us, prone to making mistakes. We are also incapable of remembering our pasts objectively. The central question of this novel—should Fern allow Jessica back into her heart—is simple, poignant, yet so tough to resolve precisely because we can’t trust what Fern remembers—and neither can Fern. And it’s the answering of that question as the novel slides from climax to conclusion where Girl Friends finally won my heart.

Although Fern’s relationship with Ben is front-and-centre for much of the story, this is not a romantic comedy. The most important love in this book is a love between women, a platonic love, a love that pauses and then resumes across decades and distance. And as an asexual, aromantic woman, I am so here for that. Bourne says in her acknowledgements that this book started as a celebration of female friendship but, for various reasons, transformed into a book about dealing with trauma, and I get it. But I appreciate how, deep down in its bones, this story still celebrates the fact that women can love each other as fiercely and deeply as friends as they could if they were romantically attracted to each other. Perhaps the truth of that is only obvious in how they can hurt each other as much as one can be hurt by a lover.

Two of my auto-buy authors, Holly Bourne and Courtney Summers, have released novels with girl in the title this season, and both novels examine how girls and women get messed up by our society. I’m fine with this trend in my reading! The power of story to illuminate, excavate, exonerate, and when necessary, eviscerate, elements from our past … it’s exhilarating and intoxicating, especially in the hands of writers as talented as Bourne and Summers both are. These stories make me think and feel. Where my experiences of being a woman overlap, there’s a tenderness. Where my experiences of being a woman are different, there’s empathy. And in the liminal spaces, there’s curiosity and connection.

Originally posted on Kara.Reviews, where you can easily browse all my reviews and subscribe to my newsletter.

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

ARC received in exchange for an honest review.

Fern and Jessica were best friends from the age of fourteen to eighteen. Growing up in the early 00s, they navigated teenager life together, riding the good with the bad. But then something happened, and Fern broke off the friendship for good during her first year of uni. Now more than 10 years later, Jessica is back and Fern struggles with accepting her back into her life. Can their relationship really be that different now they're both adults, or will all those insecurities if early teenage life coming looming back to haunt them both?

I'm surprised by how much I really enjoyed this. It's a heavily character driven story, centering around Fern - a woman in her early 30s who's on the verge of settling down with the love of her life, Ben and seeing her journalism career really take off after a blog post on mental health goes viral. Fern struggled a lot with her mental health as a teen, relying heavily on her best friend Jessica - yet also harbouring some deep seated resentment for her at the same time. She's always perceived Jessica as the beautiful friend, the one all the boys loved, and when Jessica comes crashing back into her life it reopens this massive bag of insecurities. She'll never be as attractive as Jessica, as desirable, ant this leads to some massive self reflection of Fern's part.

There's a lot of discussion about violence against women here, and what it was like to grow up in the early 00s surrounded by this culture of tearing women down. If you didn't already have a complex about men's behaviour towards women before reading this, be prepared to have one by the end. Holly Bourne really lays it all out here about how men treat women, how women treat other women and how one person's perspective may not be the same as another's. All the times growing up when you went out clubbing and some random person touched you inappropriately, when you tried to change yourself for a boy, when you thought yourself to be worthless if no one wanted to go out with you... Honestly so many of my own insecurities as a teenager were stripped bare here that I felt a really connection to Fern and Jessica. I've been those girls, I've lived that experience myself, and yes I probably have the same traumas.

Holly Bourne was written a wonderful novel with interesting yet deeply flawed characters that expertly describe what life was really like growing up in the 2000s, and how those insecurities have followed us into our 30s.

[Daniella · Rating 5 out of 5]

I feel... seen.

[Derval · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a terrible read for one that sold itself as celebrating female friendship. Fern was an awful character; jealous, insecure, judgemental and self-pitying. The idea that her career was built around advice or counsel on mental health when her own self-esteem was non-existent was ridiculous. I don't want to "spoil" the ending, but the way in which she finally gains some security in her relationships is not through therapy or work on herself. The book is full of mean, spiteful women who slut-shame each other rather than protecting their friends from predatory men. It made me very angry at the end, and at points throughout. There was one genuine female friendship in a sea of jealous backstabbing. One to avoid.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I've been a fan of Bourne's writing - specifically her adult novels - for a few years now. I think she absolutely nails the feeling (and internal thoughts) of being a teenage girl / young woman growing up in the early 00s in the UK and I find her characters incredibly relatable.

Holly Bourne's latest offering will be unlikely to disappoint existing fans. This is a pacy and engaging portrayal of an intense teenage friendship and how the fallout of this relationship impacts upon the protagonist in her adult relationships (particularly those with men). Sometimes it hit a little close to home and my own teenage insecurities I thought I'd long left behind, but this is only a testament to how good the writing is! Recommended.

Thank you Netgalley and Hodder & Stoughton for the advance copy, which was provided in exchange for an honest review.

[Kim · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was a bit too predictable for me, and the ending did not feel right. Fern and Jessica did not have a friendship, just a sick mind of codependency that hurt both of them. Ferns parents should have been more upfront with her as an adult when Jessica came back into her life. I’m not sure why they want to be around each other. Heather was the best and most natural character in the book.

My copy was provided by NetGalley for review

[Noura · Rating 1 out of 5]

Very confusing reading experience.

This is marketed as an adult book but the writing style was too juvenile and cringey to reflect that. It read like a bad YA novel about women in their thirties (you can only imagine the second hand embarrassment). The author tried to do a lot of things and make a number of ‘feminist’ points that all fell flat by the end. I think she made a lot of questionable choices that tremendously weakened the potential punch the story could’ve packed. She could have maybe benefitted from a dual perspective narrative (on top of the already existing dual timeline narrative), but even then, I don’t believe it would have fixed the shockingly harmful depictions and damaging ideologies. Or redeemed the truly awful, spiteful main character.

This was supposed to be a subversive story that portrays how society treats young girls and how that affects them as they grow up, but how can it possibly work when it adheres to every cruel and destructive stereotype about women and female friendships until the very last chapter?

[elya.lauryn · Rating 5 out of 5]

c’est le premier livre que je lis sur la complexité de l’amitié féminine et c’est aussi je l’espère le premier d’une longue liste.
Voir que pour une fois les personnages féminins ne sont pas que des p*tes ou des filles biens, voir des femmes écrites comme elles le sont dans la vraie vie, c’est à dire avec du relief ça m’a fait du bien.
Je veux lire absolument tous les livres de Holly Bourne

[Mysha · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay so this is my new favourite book.

The story follows two timelines of the friendship between Fern and Jessica. We see their teen years up until their early college years, until their friendship eventually ends and they have not been in contact in years. The second timeline is now when they reconnect in their thirties.

Fern is 'plain' and not a hotshot with the boys. But she is able to foster and cherish female friendships. Jessica on the other hand, is sexy and charming to the boys, but girls hate her because they can't be her. Fern and Jessica together though, their friendship is 'cult-like' to others, but full of so much love (but like many friendships, also envy and pain).

I think every girl, especially if you have ever had a toxic friendship or experienced envy, should read this. Wow. I have never read a book that depicts being a teenage girl SO WELL. It delves into jealousy between women, how we blame one another rather than our male counterparts, the influence of the male gaze, the jokes we laugh off, and so much more. I can't even write a proper review or summary because it won't give this story justice.

There are just so many parts of this book that stood out to me. First of all, the friendship between Jessica and Fern felt SO REAL down to the itty bitty details. Even simple moments like sleepovers, going on online chatrooms talking to strangers, practicing their telepathic psychic abilities, it genuinely felt like I was teleported back to a friendship of mine from middle/high school.

When the boys walked into that McDonalds and Fern observed every one of her girl friends acting differently. Or even private moments when Fern is observing herself through the eyes of her boyfriend when he isn't even in the room. Don't even get me started on when she goes back to her family home to look back at pictures of her teen years and realizes that she was beautiful all along, and her whole youth had been spent comparing herself to Jessica that she never truly appreciated herself. Oh and when Fern watches her boyfriend sleep and wonders if she ever chose him, or was she only just obsessed with being chosen herself? Stop. I'm honestly just rambling about random scenes in this book but it genuinely made me sick and had no right being this good.

When the two women reconnect in their thirties and Fern regresses back to her insecure teenage self... it really struck a chord. It's just written so well and the story was so relatable in many ways. Because why is it that you can have everything going right for you, but then this person from your past appears and suddenly all these insecurities from the past come slamming you in the face?? Criminal.

"Jade withdrew another one and handed me the box. 'It's hard to feel pretty with a friend like Sally...she's like boy catnip.'
'I'll take Sally and raise you a Jessica.'
Jade laughed out her smoke, and there we sat, hidden from view from the party. But the party was better, with this new friend to share it with. Throughout my life this was a skill I realized I naturally had...collecting girls as friends and turning them into deep relationships with minimal effort. If there was a pretty privilege, maybe there was a plain privilege too?

Oh Fern how I love you!!! 5 stars, fav book, please read :)

[Gabbie Pop · Rating 4 out of 5]

CW: depression, suicidal idealisation, mention of suicide attempt, drug use, drinking, sexual violence
Yet another triumph under Holly Bourne's belt. I picked this up in the airport at the start of my holiday and I was enthralled from page one. I knew Bourne had never disappointed in the past and was likely to offer just what I needed most - something witty and poignant enough to keep my sleep deprived self awake, but fun and easy to consume enough to pull me in even before my coffee kicked in. While I did get just what I'd been looking for, I think I'd forgotten just how addictive Holly's storytelling is - to say I was dying for a moment off to steal a glance at my kindle whenever possible simply to get more of this story and these characters would be an understatement.
What this novel does best is make you sway along with its protagonist and plot. Like Fern, you get drawn in by Jessica's glamour and allure even when knowing something cataclysmic must have happened between the two in the past to have caused a rift. So your heart is speeding by as you keep turning pages between their past and present selves, along for the ride, yet eager to see the ending of this relationship both the first (and potentially second) time around. You as a reader don't quite realise how much viewing the story from Fern's perspective may have led you a certain way until you are forced to confront your own biases.
Bourne offers an incisive analysis of the complex, and often complicated, allconsuming female bonds we form, and offers a painfully raw potrayal of the unique and intense experience of having a best friend (and growing up) as a teenage girl. Most specifically, this book feels of a time, an anthem for a generation of women coming of age in the early 2000s and the way this particular socio-cultural climate was bound to taint their connection through its insidious existence.
This novel is a love letter and tender hug for this particular generation, and a prayer for ones to come, comforting a generation of women and hoping for better for the next.

[Monica (crazy_4_books) · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ending June on a low note because, basically, after I got sick, everything I picked up that wouldn't make me think too much ended up being mediocre/average at best. I don't see the point of ranting about this book for too long. To the point: I HATED insecure, jealous, pedantic, whiny, immature Fern. And she's the main character!🤦🏻‍♀️. And Jessica, who's supposed to be the "man eater" antagonist; I was kind of ruling for her to f**k Ben! Because Fern doesn't deserve a nice, mature, faithful guy. What she needs is a good therapist! I'm Gen X and this book is clearly marketed to Gen Z's and I guess I just don't understand this generation. They're 32 but behave as teenagers 😤 The flashbacks did not help elevate this mess and the ending is exactly the opposite of the so-called feminist book this was trying to be. ☹️

[Elyse (ElyseReadsandSpeaks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I devoured this one. I think my rating is somewhere between 4 and 5 stars, but I think it's one I'll be thinking about for a while so I'm just bumping up to 5.

First off, I really feel this book was written for women my age (30s-40s). If you're in that target demographic, chances are you will see bits and pieces of yourself in these two ladies. When a book does that, I find it so much easier to feel and empathize with the characters - even if they do make crap decisions. I also think a lot of women can relate to the idea of having male friends that maybe were not all that great looking back (and possibly proclaiming themselves to be feminists now). There's a lot to unpack here.

I felt I resonated a lot with Jessica - trying to find my worth in places where it clearly wasn't hiding. I'm not strikingly beautiful and I certainly don't cast a spell over men, but I really understood her desire to impress guys and somehow defining her worth by who she could get interested in her. It was something she could do better than others so she reveled in it since she didn't have much else. It's not a great feeling, but it's something.

And on the other hand, I think all women can relate to being Fern and having a friend (or friends) that can make you feel invisible because of their charm and beauty. You love these friends, but you hate paling in comparison, and sometimes you just need a break from being second or third choice.

A lot of readers who don't like this book seem to hate the codependency, but I think that's an important driving theme in the book. They love and need each other because they make each other feel whole. I'm not saying it's not a problem, but it is a real thing and their love for each other even colored their choices and paths when they weren't speaking. It's interesting and I enjoyed it.

There's a lot more I could write, but I'll save it for my book club's discussion on Wed. I'm looking forward to diving into this one and seeing what similar stories we all have.

[janeee :D · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you to MIRA for providing me with this e-arc via Edelweiss :,))

bonjour jane nation , tis time for a serious review once more 🤭🤭 when we were friends is a book about female friendship , the unfortunate burden of being a woman in todays climate , and trauma that stems from both those things . like any good book , when we were friends induces anxiety beyond belief and constantly leaves u reevaluating ur life . all the good , all the bad , and all the ugly. that is all to say , this was a very good and pressing read . i had a whole review mapped out , trauma dumping my entire life , and it was around 3k words long . thats how much i felt about this book . but i decided to delete it , because no one wants that . the only thing i have to say is : perspectives are everything , but that does not deminish ur feelings . ure allowed to feel hurt over the things that hurt u , but keep in mind that things are not always as they seem . i know its not much , and its common knowledge at this point but i just… i dont know . i have so many thoughts that i cannot seem to write down . my opnions on this entire thing are pooling so vividly in my head , but as i try to form comprehensive thoughts , boom . theres nothing . i dont know . i really dont know .

tl;dr : please read this . everyone should read this . u will feel everything and u will feel nothing and its brilliant and beauitful . i can do nothing but rate this five stars

[Khadija Mohammed · Rating 3 out of 5]

I loved the writing. It was an easy and insightful read. I just didn't like the ending that painted both friends as equally at fault. Jessica was clearly the more selfish friend who consciously and constantly made the decision of stepping over the line in that friendship. There is a certain kind of kindness and a certain kind of loyalty that women owe to each other, it's especially magnified in friendships. You don't kiss a boy your best friend likes. You don't enter into a relationship with a boy your best friend was gushing over just a fortnight ago. You don't flirt (and end up sleeping) with a boy your best friend is in love with no matter how pissed off you are. These are some rules of female friendships. If you can't abide by them, you're a shitty friend. If attention seeking from boys was Jessica's way of coping with her pain, then she could have easily left these three boys alone and focused on hundreds and thousands of others. I know that all relationships including friendships are maintained through constant mutual efforts, strengthened by empathy and compassion. And I was happy that they both could forgive each other and rebuild a bond, but I would still never reignite a friendship with a friend like Jessica, even with empathy and forgiveness in my heart. A friend who disregarded my pain and my feelings for their own benefit over and over, crossed a line over and over again.

[willah · Rating 2 out of 5]

ok, so initially i was going to give this book a 1 star, however after finishing it I decided to add another star.
let’s talk about Fern. I despised Fern while reading this book. she was so much more mature as an anxious depressed teenager than she was as a successful adult. that bothered me so much. where is the growth??? how is she gonna help people when she herself is spiraling internally.
i liked how each chapter switches from past to present and thats how the story was told. but it took forever for me to get through this book, because I couldn’t deal with fern’s brain.
fern was a bad friend AND girlfriend. and it took forever for her to realize it. sure both her and Jessica have their faults but to me Jessica was trying way more than Fern was.
I would’ve probably loved this book from Jessica’s pov. it was Jessica’s speech at the end of the book that made me so emotional that i cried.
dont get me started that Fern literally had her successful blog that kicked off her career out of an idea BECAUSE of the letter Jessica gave her (which was cute af!!) and she actually deleted that part about Jessica because she was trying so hard to be the victim and paint Jessica as the villain her entire friendship with her.
the last chapters of the book were not bad, i just wish the rest of the book was like those chapters.

[Randi A · Rating 2 out of 5]

The concept of this book really intrigued me but wow was it trying to do so very much. The drug use, the suicidal ideation, the self-loathing. I wish it had been done more delicately. I think this book would’ve really benefited by being dual POV; we end up rooting for Fern, and then the end makes us think we were wrong to do that. I didn’t know enough about Jessica’s backstory, other than being poor, to sympathize with the fact that regardless of being drunk, she was a shitty self-centered friend. I’ve had to cut countless bad friends out of my life and the ending felt unsatisfying for me because I think both of these characters would’ve benefitted from cutting their losses.

Thanks to Netgalley and the publisher for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

[Joana da Silva · Rating 3 out of 5]

My friend Rita picked this one for me. I thought it would deal more with girl friendships, but it managed to focus more on other issues (read TW for this one). It was a nice introduction to Holly Bourne's writing, which I'd been wanting to explore for a while. I had a hard time relating to the two main characters, having found myself just saying "They're both in the wrong" for quite a big chunk of the book. It ended up making much more sense to me after reading the acknowledgments and it left me thinking about how I was the one in the wrong because this wasn't a wrong/right book. It's a book written to make you think about how you perceive others without knowing the full version of their side.

[Chloe Rebecca · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book contains themes of suicide and self-harm. Please check the trigger warnings before reading.

Thank you to @netgalley @hodderbooks and @hollybourneya for an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

I read Pretending by Holly Bourne earlier this year and was eager to read more by the author.

This book essentially explores the complexity of female friendships, right through from being a teenager to adulthood. We meet Fern, who in the present day is in her early 30s. We alternate between the present and the past where she is a teenager, and through both perspectives, we also meet Jessica and are taken on a journey of their ‘friendship’. I personally felt I really related to this book as we have all had a friendship like theirs. I have definitely been friends with a couple of people in the past where I have felt like the Fern, and they’ve been the Jessica. This book highlights how intense and often, emotionally draining, friendship can be.

As with Pretending, Holly Bourne’s writing is so raw and so real, and it has a real edge to it. I was completely drawn into Fern and Jessica’s world, and was desperate to see what conclusion there would be to their relationship. I think that the book is very relatable and cleverly shines a light on what women are faced with as they move through adolescence and into adulthood. It’s a thought provoking story and it definitely made me reminiscent of my own adolescence, both the good and the bad.

Being a teenager is hard. Being a woman in this world is hard. What women have to go through at the hands of some men is appalling, and that is something that still, in this day and age, isn’t spoken about enough. This book recognises that and I think it will help a lot of girls/women to feel seen.

For me, this was a fantastic book that highlights so many real issues. It’s out on the 8th of September and I would highly recommend buying it!!

[Beth · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 Stars!

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Suicide, Self Harm, Sexual Assault

I have to say with every Holly Bourne book it always makes you really think about certain things and that things aren't always black and white and I think this is highlighted particularly in this.

It's a very poignant and thought provoking book which I think Holly Bourne really does excel in. This story goes between past and present of Fern and Jessicas friendship and how it went from the all encompassing kind of friendship to over in the blink of an eye.

The themes in this are so hard hitting in the sense of how women are subject to different forms of expectations when it comes to sex and how they can be slut shamed it's a damned if they do and damned if they don't and how some things come across as a "joke" when they're actually anything but that.

I think that this would of been a full 5 stars if we'd of got a bit of a better understanding towards Jessica. In a sense I could completely understand where she was coming from with certain situations but other parts we were left out of the shadow and as the "resolve" I think been able to see more if that makes any sense?

Overall another fantastic book from Holly Bourne. I haven't read one of her books in what feels like such a long time, and it's just as good as what I thought it would be!

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

My rating is somewhere between 3.5 and 4 stars. It would have been a more solid 4-star rating, but the ending was a bit of a missed opportunity.

I enjoyed the way the author delved into female friendships and how they can impact us in ways we do not even realize are happening until much later and how we do not always understand the dynamics of a situation while we are in the moment. I also like that she wrote about the ways that society shapes boys vs. girls and how girls are expected to be a certain way which becomes ingrained while boys are permitted to be other ways which also become ingrained.


I did NOT, in the least, love either of the main characters. Fern was insufferable and annoying. I rolled my eyes at her A LOT. I got really tired of her incessantly hounding her boyfriend to marry her after he had been transparent and told her he was not interested in marriage. Jessica lacked depth and was not a good friend. I do not know if I entirely buy the explanation that was eventually given for the way that she behaved.

Despite not liking the characters, the book kept me engaged, and I found myself not wanting to put it down until I finished.

[Nick Kofler · Rating 3 out of 5]

I found myself being very bored with this book up until about page 300, then I read the remaining 100 pages in one night. On one side I get this book. Exploring friendship, relationships and how your early life affects deeply you. On the other hand this book was verrryyyy pretentious and essentially about a grudge. Major bonus points for invoking such nostalgia about high school and the friendships from that time period.

[Lucy! · Rating 2 out of 5]

Was the writing in this book good and compelling? Yes. Did I also feel more depressed and physically ill while I read this book? Also yes.