Disappearing Act: A True Story

by Jiordan Castle

Moving and evocative, Disappearing Act is a YA memoir-in-verse following author Jiordan Castle's coming of age as her family reckons with the aftershocks of her father's imprisonment.

It was the summer before high school,
the beginning of everything.
But also an end.

Jiordan’s family was never quite like everyone else’s, with her father’s mood swings, her mother’s attempts at normalcy, and her two older sisters with a different last name. But on the surface, they fit in.

Until the day the FBI came knocking on the door.

After that, her father’s mood plunged to a dangerous new low. After that, there was an investigation into his business and a sentencing in court. Soon Jiordan’s father would have to leave home, and her family would change forever.

Reckoning with the aftershocks of her father’s incarceration, Jiordan had to navigate friends who couldn't quite understand what she was going through, along with the highs and lows of first love. Under it all was the If Jiordan’s father was gone, why did she feel like the one who was disappearing?

Recounting her own experiences as a teenager, poet Jiordan Castle has created a searing and evocative young adult true-story-in-verse about the challenge to be free when a parent is behind bars.

Genres: Memoir, Poetry, Mental Health, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Biography, Novel In Verse

336 pages, Hardcover

Published August 15, 2023

Reviews

[David Emery · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jiordan's coming-of-age memoir, with her father's imprisonment whirlpooling at the centre of her emotional life, thoroughly captures the resiliency a lot of us are forced to find in an imperfect family when we lack the experience and tools to do so. Poetry is the perfect way in; as she makes her way back into memory, she allows herself the freedom to create literal space for old thoughts and feelings, even incomplete ones. She exhibits an admirable and heartbreaking compassion for herself, her family, and her friends, with her present self occasionally interjecting like a guardian angel. What she offers here is a single handbook, one she didn't have when it would have been most useful, and what she's provided is not only cathartic but a gift to those in need.

[Hannah Bae · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jiordan Castle has my whole heart! After reading Castle's exquisite poems and essays over the years, I've been eagerly awaiting "Disappearing Act." I was so lucky to get an e-ARC from FSG Young Readers.
This memoir in verse is so deep and thoughtful, following a young Jiordan as she experiences her father's arrest and incarceration. So many readers, both young and old will benefit from this book, but I am particularly hopeful for kids who have experienced parental incarceration to receive this book and feel seen and understood.
One of the most beautiful, profound parts of this book are the deep internality young Jiordan demonstrates. Teenagers are deep, and Castle captures this aspect of youth with such tenderness. I loved this book so very much.

[Cherlynn | cherreading · Rating 3 out of 5]

"the only person I can count on
to be in the deep end with me is me"

A coming-of-age memoir that covers all the complicated, messy and ugly feelings that come with having a loved one in incarceration. It's raw, it's honest and the author doesn't hold back in sharing her deepest thoughts and emotions – even when it doesn't paint her in the best light.

Like the author said, both the subject and her perspective aren't talked about enough so I appreciate the insight. The verse format was just as unique.

While this was a good and insightful read that I finished in a day, it didn't move me or evoke that much emotion in me. Perhaps the overwhelming teenage angst was hard to connect with, especially when it comes to how poorly the author treated her mother.

[Kelly Pramberger · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm so glad I read this book! What a story. Told in a way that I don't normally read but love - verse. Well done. Brave storytelling. Thanks to NetGalley for the ARC. Five stars.

[Rachael Lowe · Rating 3 out of 5]

Audiobook. Coming of age book tackling difficult topics like the incarceration of a parent. Quick read but I did not my favorite formatting. The sections with all the “Blank” drove me insane.

[Kaylee · Rating 4 out of 5]

Solid four stars. I always feel strange rating books like this, since it is a true story, so I’ll keep this short. I liked the book; the writing style was super easy to read. The ending felt very abrupt, but that is probably because it’s a snippet of someone’s life. This book didn’t have as great an impact on me as I had hoped/thought it would, but it was still a good one to read and learn more, I think.
I’m lucky enough that I’m going to get to meet the author later this year for a book signing and ask some questions, so maybe that will change my rating. Hopefully I’ll remember to come update this review after that event!
EDIT: It did not change my rating, but the author is a great person and super nice!

[Jennifer Moffett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Official blurb:

Disappearing Act is gorgeously written with heartbreaking honesty. Castle dispatches scenes from her teen self in a powerful exploration of trauma and hope. Her debut novel-in-verse picks up the pieces from her shattered world and illuminates each fragmented memory with razor-sharp precision. The result is a stunning mosaic of a teen girl who discovers clarity and strength on the other side of a familial catastrophe.

—Jennifer Moffett, author of Those Who Prey

[Kathryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Unlike anything I’ve read before, Disappearing Act is a quick read that packs a big emotional punch.

[Liv · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t know how to feel about this one. As usual I won’t spoil it for you, you’ll have to read for yourself.

Basically, this is a commentary on how the United States Incarceration system affects children and families, and the ups and downs that come with having a loved one in prison. However, it’s written in a slightly different style; it’s written in verse. So it’s written in the form of poems, for those of us (hi, I’m us) who don’t understand what the fuck ‘in verse’ means. Now that was hard enough to get used to, without having the vague, elusive wording that only the most egotistical poets can master. Look I just want to know what the guy did, did he die, did they get over it. We don’t find answers to these questions, or at least not that I could see.

Final thoughts;
This felt incomplete to me. It felt like I was only getting a glimpse into the full story, whether that be because of the style it was written in, or whether that was the genuine intention from the author. The message was compelling, it’s a great commentary and truly one worth exploring, having been witness to the prison system in the UK. It is a worthwhile commentary to delve into further, but this attempt fell flat ~ immature and unreliable narration (that’s contextually appropriate but frustrating nonetheless), with a real lack of insight into the bigger picture.

[Kristi Manduka · Rating 3 out of 5]

When a girl’s father goes to prison as she enters her teens, she must figure out how to navigate new relationships and family dynamics.

Jiordan Castle’s life is upended when her dad is caught in an embezzlement scheme and sentenced to four years in prison. Castle must figure out how to live as the child of an incarcerated parent whose misdeeds have left the family in a financial bind. During all of this upheaval, Castle also finds herself starting high school and her first relationship with a boy she meets in a bookstore. Castle details the confusion of being truthful with friends about her dad’s incarceration. Castle also shares the highs and lows of a first relationship that also changes the nature of her friendships. Castle uses verse to tell the condensed story of what happened when her father’s decisions change the shape of her life. While the events of the memoir are true, Castle provides an author’s note letting the reader know that she has condensed events that occurred over years into a shorter timeline to help capture her confused feelings of anger, loss, love, hopelessness, and freedom.

Verdict: Readers who are interested in coming-of-age stories involving people who must wade throught difficult circumstances as they find themselves will appreciate Castle’s memoir-in-verse.

[Brooke · Rating 4 out of 5]

When Jiordan Castle was coming of age, she lost her father. Not to death, but to prison. Convicted of grave financial crimes, Jiordan’s father was sent away, and she had to learn how to navigate the world as a fatherless girl. The pain of having a loved one in prison is often equated to the death of that person, yet grappling with an imprisoned loved one is its own kind of grief as Jiordan soon learns.

Because Jiordan could find little literature detailing what it is like to be a child with an imprisoned parent, she decided to write a memoir of her experience. Pulling from her journals written from the age of 11 to 18, she writes with poignancy and nuisance as she explores the stigma and loss she experiences from her dad’s prison sentence.

Disappearing Act is an incredible story of a young girl trying to find herself amidst a terrible family tragedy. Dealing with much more than any child should, Jiordan deftly elucidates the many facets of being the daughter of a convicted criminal. She showcases how life can turn on you in an instant, forcing you to reexamine everything you thought to be true as you rewrite your future, while also coming to terms with your past.

[Ava VonSpiegelberg · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Disappearing Act by Jiordan Castle is a really interesting memoir about a girl whose dad goes to prison, and she has to figure out how to deal with it. Jiordan tells her story in poems, which makes it feel personal and emotional. She describes what it’s like to keep secrets, feel different from other kids, and try to understand what happened. Her words are simple but powerful, and they make you feel what she’s going through.

One of the best parts of the book is how honest she is. She doesn’t try to make everything seem perfect, and she shows her real emotions, like sadness, anger, and confusion. At the same time, there are moments of humor and hope, which make the book feel more real. However, because the story is told in poems instead of regular chapters, it can be confusing at times. Some parts jump around or don’t give a lot of details, so it’s hard to tell exactly what’s happening. Overall, it was a good book and i would recommend to someone who might be going through or has gone through something similar.

[Melissa Gilbreth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This first-person true story account of having a parent with mental health issues that is found guilty of a crime and taken to prison is very accessible to readers. I am not typically a fan of stories written in verse but this stream-of-consciousness expression of life pausing and going on in verse is very well done. It somehow makes it easy to feel the emotion of her struggles without her actually telling us the feelings. Her analogies just make sense.

I had several favorite quotes:
“Maybe, the only person I can count on to be in the deep end with me… is me”

“There are some things I’ll never know. Facts and memories, even faces, that will only get grayer with time. All these blank spaces I’ll have to fill in again and again but maybe in time there will be fewer of them.”

“I use my silent treatment as a weapon and a shield.”

[Katie Seehusen · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75 stars
Book Club Read

This one was hard for me to rate, especially since it's a true story. I never know if I should rate memoirs, because who am I to rate someone's life story...

That being said, I had no problems with the content of the story. It was a great story, very emotional and real. Castle really brings you into her life and how she was feeling at the time.

This is a novel in verse and every once in a while it just didn't work. I know these are hard novels to write and having everything come together isn't easy, but it felt like Castle was trying too hard at times and it just didn't work. There were parts that were confusing and it felt like Castle had something she wanted to say and instead of changing it to make more sense, she tried to make it work and it just didn't.

All in all a good book and I would read from Castle again.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book marks my first time reading memoir-in-verse, and what a delight! As a personal fan of the author's essays and poems in The New Yorker and Compound Butter, I hoped to find her accessible language and captivating storytelling in this book -- and boy, did it deliver! The way each piece comes together to tell her family's story is truly beautiful. She manages to capture every emotion (often many emotions at once) and bring you into her lived experience. This book is for teens who have experienced incarceration in their families, adults who are still grappling with that experience, and people like me, who haven't been impacted directly but need to know what it's like for the millions of families going through it every day.

[Atticus · Rating 3 out of 5]

Take Jacqueline Woodson's style and story, then let it lift weights with all of the power of justified teenage angst and you'll almost have this book. Accessible writing does not sacrifice meaning in this memoir told in a way that dates nothing. Seeing the author's story of learning who she was, figuring out who her parents were, and reaching out to friends old and new was interesting. However, I would not say that it says anything new or that something else might not say better. The author just touches on learning about her white privilege, and it is unsatisfactory that it is never brought up much more than in passing.

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Worth the wait!

I love Jiordan’s writing, really. When people mention Sylvia Plath, I say, “but have you read Jiordan Castle?”
I have been waiting for this book forever! I expected something else, and it was so refreshing and surprising when I opened it up and saw that this was a nonfiction story told in poetry and prose over a traditional novel. It made the book feel so much more personable, like someone was telling me a story rather than me reading a book. I can’t recommend this book enough.

[Emily Mirengoff · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is like nothing I’ve ever read before. The poetry is absolutely lovely but totally accessible (very important for poetry neophytes like me.) The story could have been told in such a melodramatic way, but instead it’s tender and vulnerable and true. I was honored to speak with Jiordan about writing this book, if you want to learn more about her crafting process: https://www.triquarterly.org/intervie...

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

A skillfully written and honest memoir told in a series of prose poems. Its great strength is its emotional honesty--the small details a bright, observant young teen notices as her father goes to trial, and then to prison, and her life changes irrevocably. I think many teens will relate to Jiordan's struggles and be moved by them. As an adult, some of her behavior makes me cringe (14-year-olds drinking vodka unsupervised, to give one example). But it's sadly realistic.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

The writing here is EXQUISITE, just so gorgeous and full of beautiful prose. However, the story feels a little incomplete, like the book just abruptly ends, so I'm left slightly off kilter and wanting more, or at least a more satisfying conclusion? I know it's because this is based on Castle's real life and her story is still evolving, but... still.

Nice quick read, and I'm always a sucker for coming-of-age tales, esp involving friendships and family dynamics alongside school.

[Vanessa Fiore · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author gives a voice and perspective to many we don't give a second thought to...the family members of those who are incarcerated. They are also victims. Collateral damage, so to speak. She acknowledges that, of course, "things could be worse," but things could also be better. She provides insight into her navigation of relationships and friendships during this period of her life. Who falls to the wayside and who rises to the top.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I stumbled upon Disappearing Act in a local Philadelphia bookstore, felt intrigued by the description, and finished it the same day. While reading I felt as if I was living through the experience with the author. I have not read a nonfiction written so poetically before. The writing style was so unique and beautiful that I feel it deserves 5 stars.

[Kim · Rating 4 out of 5]

I throughly enjoyed this book and had finished it in a day. It was captivating and really sad as some I can relate to mainly with how Jiordan handled her father’s imprisonment, as well as dating Chris. I had thought it was very moving and some of her poems made me tear up and bring back a few memories I had growing up as a child.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars
This memoir in verse tells the story of Jiordan's family the summer her father was taken into custody by the FBI. She talks about how unsettled things were before he was taken away and how they coped afterwards, especially the struggle of dealing with friends who could not relate to her situation.

[Millie Jensen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! Genuinely surprised how much I enjoyed this book. Written in verse, it reads beautifully but also is an easy read. Interesting story about a marginalized group of people we rarely consider. Love that it's written from a teen voice.

[Kylie]

Synopsis: Moving and evocative, this YA memoir-in-verse follows author Jiordan Castle's coming-of-age as her family reckons with the aftershocks of her father's mental illness, committing a fraud scheme, and imprisonment.

[Kate Doyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book!! And so did my mom, who says it made her reflect on her own complicated childhood and her parent relationships. She started passing it on to other family members when she finished it. A wonderful read.

[Jenet Robles · Rating 3 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook and it bothered me about “blank” covering certain parts of the story but I was able to finish it.

I definitely did fall in love with her story telling and felt like I was there with her when she told her story. It’s an easy but heavy listen, would listen to it again.

[Lauren · Rating 2 out of 5]

Enjoyed the memoir of a teen whose Dad is sent to prison during her formative years; the “blank” parts were dumb because they were for words that could be guessed—not to blank out someone’s name or something that would be reasonable.

[Izzys_Internet_Bookshelf · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5/5

I found the story to be really interesting. The story of Jiordan and how she navigating this event was interesting. But for me the pacing seemed a little slow.