I Can't Save You: A Memoir

by Anthony Chin-Quee

The raw and gripping memoir of a Black physician who confronts his past mistakes and relationships as he learns to find his own path forward

At first glance, Anthony Chin-Quee looks like a traditional success: a smart, ambitious kid who grew up to become a board-certified otolaryngologist—an ear, nose, and throat surgeon. Yet the truth is more complicated.
 
As a self-described “not white, mostly Black, and questionably Asian man,” Chin-Quee knows that he doesn’t fit easily into any category. Growing up in a family with a background of depression, he struggled with relationships, feelings of inadequacy, and a fear of failure that made it difficult for him to forge lasting bonds with others.
 
To repair that, he began his own unflinching examination of what it means to be both a physician and a Black man today. What saved him and his sanity was not medicine. By sharing stories from his life and career, Chin-Quee learned how powerful the truth can be in helping to forgive yourself and others as you chart a new way forward.

By turns harrowing and hilarious, honest and human, I Can’t Save You is the fascinating true story of how looking within can change you and your life for the better.

Contents

Prologue 1

Chin-Quee, M.D. 3

A-Side—Success* 42

B-Side—The Fall 80

You 160

Fear of Flying 176

Rainbow Connection 212

Y'ain't (k)no(w) 222

Fatherhood 285

Eulogy 334

Acknowledgments  353

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Medical, Audiobook, Biography, Medicine, Health

368 pages, Hardcover

First published April 4, 2023

Reviews

[JPDB23 · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a journey! I have read my fair share of memoirs, and this one hits on top. "The storyteller," by Dave Grohl was amazing. However, I can relate tho this storyteller so much more because he comes in with a medical background, and a struggle that few could understand, but so real life, raw, and down to earth, that it makes it easier than not to relate to. As we say in the field, "layman's term" the information for those not literate in medicine to understand. Anthony does just that to his life journey through the struggles of growing up, self identity, medical school, residency, love, and the power to let go.

This read was raw. I have to use that word to best describe the true grit in his passion, love and desire to share his struggles, life journey, and his struggles through how he survived life. I do not want to give away spoilers, so I will keep this review broad. I loved every part of this book. He can easily keep you entertained with his sarcastic humor, but also switch on a true dramatic feeling of life, love and loss. He is poetic; along with being human, Anthony gives you a perspective through his ever changing daily life that brings home a true complexity in being "normal." No one is perfect, and he is the first to admit it. Nevertheless, he share his views on society, and it cant be any more pleasing to see his passion come full circle when he shares it.

For those looking for a insightful read; one that shares passion, realism, ups and down, life and raw emotions...this is the read I would recommend. I think anyone can get into this, but that's my opinion...

Share yours if you decide to read. Stay thirsty my friends. Enjoy the beginning of summer stage to read with longer days, and full moon nights =)!!

I Can't Save You: A Memoir

[sliceofmini · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this , I really did. I always pick up medical memoirs to let me know I'm not alone in this and the ones I pick up generally work out . I was also intrigued by it being written by a black ENT doctor, never read from their side , so I was really hyped to get to know the insides of working in ENT.

I was really hoping it to get better in the very least where the author addresses some loaded statements in the beginning. ( which being him not liking his superior's way of handling things , which one can disagree with , but the way he speaks like his way is wayyy better and he'll never approach the way the senior approached it... Left a bad taste in my mouth, similar tone was used when he kept thinking he knew what's best for a completely mentally competent patient who is informed of everything that is to occur, doctor it's the patients' life stfu for once. ) This was never really addressed properly. And that's what set the rest of memoir's tone .

I can still appreciate a memoir even if I disagree , so I moved on with the story... But the poetry was making me cringe real bad. One of his poems was supposed to be inspired by a cancer patient and he ends making it about himself ( and the thing is , the author is self aware , he knows he's not the best at poetry and also that he made that poem about himself but that doesn't make me cringe any less )

Next , with talking to yourself kinda therapy sessions sprinkled throughout the book. I just could NOT with the constant back and forth with his subconscious.. I didn't come for that .. NOPE.. sorry... Can't do that.. ESPECIALLY the way it's narrated in the audiobook.

I just gave up the hope of liking it after this point , and was a passive reader.
He does talk about being POC in field and how he helped his juniors as well . And the part about finally letting go of generational trauma, both of these topics interested me, but the damage was already done. Most of the book i didn't care for it. And I wouldn't have got to the points i liked if i didn't think he'd address the statements in the beginning. Literally where's the change in the character arc. The author remains mostly the same throughout his narration and there's not many reflections about his actions and how things could be different with him maturing.

There's also descriptions of depression, self harm in it , so I advice looking into all the trigger warnings before going in.

[Ipek (ipekreading) · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a board certified ENT surgeon, Anthony Chin-Quee looks like a story of success. In his memoir he details his battle with depression, surviving residency and his experiences as a Black doctor.

According to a 2017 study the rate of depression in adults in the US is 7.1%, while depending on the measures a 2015 study found the rate of depression among residents to be somewhere between 20.9% to 43.2% (a number that has likely increased with the pandemic). Having lived with a resident in the last few years, I have witnessed first hand how the endless hours of work becomes catastrophic and incompatible with living a fulfilling life. While I have observed a lot on the topic, a perspective I didn't have was how being Black and not having a good support structure can add to the toil of residency.

Chin-Quee formatted his memoir in a unique way, sometimes written as a conversation with the voice in his head, sometimes a poem and sometimes a screenplay. There are some medical stories and there is a lot of personal reckoning through which he forges himself a path of survival. While this made me uncomfortable to read at times (which is potentially intentional), I can definitely see this being an important read for people in medicine.

[Snowleopard · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wouldn't say this is a book for everyone,but it was certainly a book written for me. I don't know what it was about this book but I have never felt more connected to a story in my life. So, this is what it means to be seen? I even took a long detour from studying from my own exams that I know I should be studying for. With that comes the warning that you should not pick this book up in the middle of achieving your goals if you relate to the tale of a high achieving black medical student.

[Robyn · Rating 1 out of 5]

I CAN'T SAVE YOU
Anthony Chin-Quee

OMG, he can't save me and I ended up not being able to stand him. He reads like an overentitled person who is only right and entitled to only his opinion. His leaders were never right, his actions and thoughts were never, never WRONG.... how can that be?

In addition, I suffered through his terrible poetry that was very, very bad. It was weird, to say the least.

I wanted to give up but kept reading until I just couldn't take it anymore and quietly laid it down at almost the ending. WHY? Because I couldn't care less about this man or his problems. TERRIBLE book.

1 star

Happy Reading!

[mer! · Rating 4 out of 5]

I want to start off saying that I picked up this book primarily in the interest of the medical field conversation that I was expecting in this memoir. I got a *lot* more than that. And honestly? It made it a better read being able for it to be a MEMOIR that was more wholistic and not just some discussion about what being a medical student in the United States of America is like as a non-white person. The themes of fear, mental health, generational trauma, success, burn out, expectations, failure, racism, overcoming racism, etc. covered in this book made it such a rich read. I think there were several points in this story where I truly felt happy for picking up this book as it was such a gem. Now. That being said. I have two main qualms. Firstly, as a black woman, I'd have to be blind, self-denying, and ignorant to say that some of the discussion in this book wasn't approached in an appropriate or self-aware enough way for me. Quite a bit of the discussion actually. This is partially a critique on the author himself as much as I love him (but that's not impacting my rating of the book don't worry I have a working brain) but mainly on the manner in which some of the things he recounts is approached. A lot of this was only really redeemed later on in the story which I feel was most likely intentional, but drew away a lot from his progression in this book for me as I truly believe there could've been a better manner of incorporating said mistakes into the overall narrative as they were introduced. Secondly, this book has so much that it got a bit unfocused and messy at times. This may have been the intended feeling of the book but I truly feel as if taking more time in uncovering certain disregarded or barely discussed topics could've carved out the ending message so much more strongly. It's a memoir. And I get that. It's a chance to tell your story. So as opposed to a 3 I give it a strong 4, because at the end of the day that story was an engaging and good one.

[Jordan Moore · Rating 3 out of 5]

Being a doctor requires you to be a super human, and no one can actually be as perfect as we require doctors to be. It is unfair, and I feel deeply sympathetic to doctors, especially residents. I appreciated his honest and unflinching chronicles of his depression, self loathing, and self harming behaviors throughout his journey in medicine. I also appreciated his exploration of his relationship with his father, particularly in the last chapter. However, what I did not appreciate was the constant misogyny in the book that went largely unexamined. Throughout the book it struck me that he thought of women in general, and white women in particular, as objects. Objects to exact revenge on and to use as practice. It was a surprise to me that he married a white woman. I hope they are both in individual and couples therapy to work through the thoughts and feelings he wrote about in this book.

[Clarissa Garcia · Rating 4 out of 5]

In the beginning, I didn’t like this book. Towards the end, I was crying and completely hooked on the story! What a journey of self-discovery this book took us on! I enjoyed the end where the author found grace for himself and hope for his future.

[Lady · Rating 2 out of 5]

I went into this book thinking it was going to be more about Doctor/patient experiences but it ended up being like listening to a therapy session about the author. It’s not a bad story, just totally off the mark of what I was hoping for.

[Evelyn Bodenschatz · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is exactly the kind of book I was looking for to help me get through my tough days of residency when all I wanted was for someone to say “being a doctor is hard and you’re not always going to be good at it”. This book is not for everyone and I would argue that it’s really not for anyone outside the medical profession. It’s hard to read: cringeworthy, offensive, but as a fellow resident physician it’s relatable and resonates better than any book I’ve been able to find about the experience of working in medicine. I specifically appreciated his attention to describing the intensity and difficulty of residency, the emotional impact on being a doctor, and the criticism of our health care education system. It’s honest and powerful but not for the faint of heart. Most importantly, it provides proof that a heart and soul that have been fractured through a career in medicine can heal and become whole again.

Docking one star because the organization was hard to follow and it was tangential at times.

Highly recommend to those working in medicine or who have loved ones in the field, especially who are members of marginalized communities.

[Elena Grace · Rating 3 out of 5]

Brutally honest and vulnerable, I really appreciated the author’s journey as a human and as a physician. However the unaddressed misogyny was appalling and uncomfortable because of how self-aware the author was of this tendency.

[Susan Bice · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good true story but way too much profanity for me to take it seriously.

[Joyce · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is, put quite simply, not easy to read. It is painful, unkind, unflattering, and occasionally uncomfortable. It is, as people accuse it to be, subjective. It's a memoir. The author speaks with the arrogance of a medical student-resident-doctor and makes it clear throughout that his perspective is flawed. I'm the kind of reader who will chew my way straight through a book in a few days, and yet this took me a month to get through.

Ugly things are hard to look at. The way the American medical system trains physicians is monstrous and cruel, even without the biases and hidden agendas of being a POC. This is an honest account of the journey of an individual in a vast system that has historically (and continues to) oppress and degrade. In these ways, the discomfort is like pressing on a bruise. You don't know why you keep doing it, but it feels kinda good in a sick way.

Yes, women are treated in a misogynistic lens. The author makes it clear that this is a product of a toxic example set by his father. He acknowledges that the use of white women as tools is damaging to himself and to the women he seeks. I certainly do not expect him to go on a full diatribe about the ways in which this is wrong, he acknowledges that it is and seeks to form healthier relationships in the future.

I only wonder about the way the memoir wraps up. Yes, a memoir about a story still being written, a life still being lived, will feel incomplete. But, it does feel like we've been dragged along this whirlwind of a person's life through their worst and their best, only to be dumped out at the exit sign with a, "I'm seeking to be a better person now." I came out the other side of this book feeling somehow simultaneously dissatisfied and seen by this story. To find oneself walking an unseen path alongside other POCs in the healthcare field, I suppose I didn't want the happy ending anyway. I wanted to see what I saw in myself, and there's no happy ending there. There's just a life being lived. So yes, I suppose, I recommend the book for anyone who seeks to be seen in this way. Just don't come to this book looking for answers, because you're not going to find any.

[Belinda Crider · Rating 5 out of 5]

Outstanding

Dr. Chin-Quee captured the agony of surgical residency including the blood, sweat, tears, trauma, and challenges for all to see. His unique vision from his first hand experience as a black man in medicine speaks volumes about the inadequacies and double standards that continue to exist.

He expertly layers his life experiences from childhood to adulthood to allow us all to see that doctors are humans first and his honest introspection is stunning.
Dr. Chin-Quee shares his lifelong struggles with mental health openly, including his journey to recognize and to work through and with these issues. In the end he demonstrates an extraordinary insight that is inspirational.

I laughed, I cried, I cheered, and in the end I was humbled by his willingness to bare his soul for all to see. Well done sir, well done!

[Harvee Lau · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thought that Anthony Chin-Quee, a Black surgeon, wrote this revealing and honest memoir with distinct audiences in mind. The medical community, for one, starting with those at the very top who make and keep the policies that affect the wellbeing of the others - the doctors, medical students, would-be medical students, hospital staff, and the patients themselves.

Then there are the very personal parts in the memoir that tackle his relationships with others, whether while training and working as a surgeon, in his personal life or in the dysfunctional, multi-racial West Indian family in which he grew up.

I view the book as a wake up call to the medical community in how they train and treat their staff and what they expect that may be just too much - the long hours working without sleep that could endanger both patient and doctor, for instance. The writing is intense as the author describes in a brutally honest way what he had to face with his patients, with other doctors and staff members, in the operating room, and in the hospital while working dangerously long shifts. Granted, some of his descriptions have some humor, in a kind of way.

And the other wake up call is to the society at large, which continues, based on his experiences, to seriously undermine and underestimate people of color, and their abilities and potential.

This book is a must read also, as I see it, for would be doctors, or for those already in the middle of their profession. It's an eye opener for newbies that is frank and honest, even in its brutal, no holds barred descriptions.

At the end of the book, I was happy for the author that he found his true path, benefiting from his grueling and challenging training to do what he truly loves - writing and using his way with words, leaving behind a debilitating profession, a toxic family member, and forming his own perfect family.

I finished the book with more appreciation for my own doctors and specialists, realizing what they must have gone through, the gauntlets they have to run, to reach and stay where they are.

[Joanna · Rating 2 out of 5]

This wasn't *bad* per se. There were definitely plenty of interesting moments and stories. But overall I found this to be extraordinarily navel-gazing. I like memoirs from celebrities or people have made notable, important life accomplishments. Average people can also write great memoirs when they genuinely have a good story to tell and tell it in a way that can appeal to an audience who doesn't know the writer. This book got a lot of applause when it came out so I assumed it fell in one of those categories but that didn't end up being the case. It's the story of a doctor who had some life and professional struggles and he self-medicated with alcohol and sex. Unfortunately that's really not that noteworthy or remarkable.

I liked the parts where he told stories about his work and his life, but probably about a third to a half of the book was him waxing poetic (often literally) about his boring feelings. I totally agree that he had some struggles: medical education is rough, and it's sad for someone to have emotionally distant parents, and dealing with microaggressions really sucks, but that's basically the total of his life struggles. Honestly it was pretty boring to hear him go on and on about his emotions about all of these sad but ultimately mundane problems. I think this book could have been good with an editor who helped him lean more into the stories and cut out the self-absorbed poetry and reflections that were extremely boring to read.

[Mikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book expecting something different - more to do with the author's training and medical experience, I guess, but this type of writing came in the final chapters of the book. I was interested in his life story and experiences, and how they formed him from childhood onwards, but there was too much jumping around between time frames for my liking, making it more difficult to follow the story. That's my perspective anyway - perhaps others will read it differently.

Dr Tony's eventual establishment and maturation as a person and as a doctor/surgeon were slow in coming, probably because he couldn't trust anyone to help him. His depressive episodes made it hard for him to ask for support when he needed it. His family was hardly functional, and his father - whom he resented and disliked, while maintaining familial love, just because we're supposed to love our parents - was never really present and was eventually cut away from Dr Tony's life because that's what was necessary to become a whole human being by letting go of the falsehoods of his earlier life.

It was a raw and honest story, not easy to read in parts, but I wanted to know what happened with a view to trying to get a handle on his present and the possibilities of his future. I read in the back cover blurb that he now lives in England with his family. I wonder how that came about?! Anyway, I would read a follow up to 'I Can't Save You' if Dr Tony actually wrote and published such a thing.

3.5 Stars

[Cass · Rating 3 out of 5]

I struggle with rating this one. There are a lot of great moments, particularly when Chin-Quee is having his introspective therapy-esque sessions, but there are a lot of odd and frankly bad choices. I was also under the impression this would be more focused on his experiences as a doctor and less on his outside-the-hospital life. The poetry and rap song were, though heartfelt, pretty bad. The beginning was (and I understand this was purposeful) a bit superficial, try-hard, and "#relatable." Seeing what it led up to, I can't quite say it was a bad choice, and yet I'm not sure how he or his editors didn't question having nearly a third of the book being this way. Surely some people are going to DNF it because of it.
Still, his reflections on his avoidant personality and people-pleasing tendencies hit close to home (a bit too close -- I don't like seeing my faults laid so bare in someone else!). There are a lot of memoirs that don't truly examine the author's feelings and behaviors thoroughly, nor purposefully leave crumbs so the reader can figure it out on their own. Yet he sees how his relationship with his father, his complicated relationship with his manhood, the hardships of being a resident/doctor, and the constant struggle with racism all coalesce into a disasterist self-image and self-destructive tendencies. Hopefully his careful examination of these connections will help someone else -- I know I am seeing my own past in a new light.

[Matthew Chinquee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely take the time to check out this book. You won't regret it.

This is a unique, someone avant-garde memoir. It does an amazing job of really getting you into the mind of the author and how he has dealt with his personal and professional struggles. It is also a very interesting psychological study where the author spends a lot of time exposing his insecurities and shortcomings, and doing a lot of self analysis. The reader is also allowed to easily come up with his own external analysis and I think in that respect this book would be a great tool for starting a discussion on various topics like mental illness, implicit bias, perfectionism, and "gatekeeping" in Academia. I personally felt myself asking questions related to how much we are influenced by our environment as children, versus how much our personalities are set from birth.

My favorite parts of the book take place in the hospital setting. You are taken right into the examination and operating rooms. These sequences are especially vivid, and intense.

Stylistically the book has a lot to offer and really showcases the various creative ways the author has learned to express himself through different forms of writing. This creates a stimulating, fast-paced read, and leaves the reader wanting more. That being said, the subject manner is quite dark so I found myself needing to take occasional breaks in order to further process what I read.

If you are at all intrigued by any aspect of the premise don't hesitate to give this book a read.

[Leah DeFlitch · Rating 3 out of 5]

hmmm what to say about this book (really 2.5/5 but I’m rating up):

pros: really emphasized the importance of discussing the intersecting identities that play into stuff that we think of as “objective”: specifically medicine and science. I was expecting to love his voice and I did! It was self aware (at points a little toooo self aware: read cons) but also silly and just plain entertaining— easy to read. I thought the hospital vignettes were extremely powerful, especially when we discussed training new interns. It is clear that writing scenes— and plot— are a strong suit for him. The weaving of race/poverty/mental health was done well there.

cons: I found some “”reflection”” parts (probably 60-70% of the book) just downright soul sucking loll. A personality trait of mine being I cannot stand when memoirists choose to write diary style entries, which no tie to the outside world or scene in general….there was a lot of ramble that I think is best saved for a voice memo. The ending was really hard to get past because of this— needed a lot more show not tell there.

Was pleasantly surprised by how un-annoyed I was with the internal dialogue he built in. I also found the crisis of the book well done— so rating up for that. Not for people who don’t like ramble!!!

[Christine (Queen of Books)]

This one's really just a mismatch between the book and me. I enjoyed his on-the-job stories, as well as his reflections on becoming an otolaryngologist.

But so, so much of this memoir is ruminations and introspection - mostly focused on Chin-Quee's overall mental health rather than any one thing. I'm so glad he got the help he needed and is doing this sort of reflective work, it's just not my favorite thing to read. Like, people LOVED Maybe You Should Talk to Someone; I DNFed it so early on I didn't even bother marking it as a DNF on here.

So, give this one a shot if you're at all interested in mental health, especially the mental health journey of a Black man in the United States. I Can't Save You might not be for you if you're looking for a book of residency stories.

Thank you to Riverhead for a free copy of this title won in a giveaway.

[Dealla Eldiraoui · Rating 3 out of 5]

My favorite part of his book is simply how raw and honest he was about his feelings and with his reflections. The thing about the truth is that it’s sometimes ugly and that’s definitely reflected here from his arrogant perspective to his objectification of women and everything in between. He actually tells us at the beginning of the book that the contents are not pretty so believe him before you read. I also really enjoyed the stories he told about his life, especially the insight into his journey as a resident. With that being said, the organization of this book felt all over the place. I’m assuming it was meant to be chronological but between his career and his personal life, there was no flow to follow. Parts of the book also kinda bored me which is why it took me a while to get through it.

[Kayla Browning · Rating 4 out of 5]

♪ ༘⋆ keeping up by microwave

this memoir shows the struggles of a black man becoming an ent surgeon and it offers a lot of insight into his struggles. it does a wonderful job of showing how it’s not a perfect journey getting from point a to point b in that career, especially when odds seemed stacked up against you, and i found it inspirational.

it also was interesting to see the lives of residents, showing some of the struggles and pressure they go through that people — including myself — may not consider.

the poetry parts were at times…. cringe. but they didn’t take away from the overall story. chin-quee’s interesting format of talking to his “angel on his shoulder” was, on the other hand, interesting!

[Madison Gilbert · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this up because I had many friends from college become doctors. I wanted insight on the journey of medical school and what the training puts you through. I appreciated the author’s honest, emotional, and frankly hard to hear experience of medical residency. Add in his vulnerable reveal of personal mental health struggles and that made the book…….hard to want to pick up and read. It contained valuable insight to a poc’s experience in medicine and lessons we should learn from that experience. It is a story that absolutely deserves to be told. Dr Chin-Que embodies empathy in an inspiring example of a great character arc. But ultimately I had to sludge through this book. It simply did not draw me in to read it. ((check trigger warnings))

[meejieweegie · Rating 2 out of 5]

huh. this was an interesting read... and i have really conflicting feelings about it. i think where i landed is that i did not love it but i'm not sure if i can really articulate why. i know that this is a story of a person in their entirety but tbh i found the stories about him as a doctor were more interesting than the ones about his personal life. kind of feels like he always wanted to be a creative, and then ended up being a doctor, so writing on tv doctor shows seems like a nice place for him to have landed.

will say that his own misogyny is constantly brought up but never resolved? kind of weird lol

4/10

[Abhi · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s a memoir in the truest sense meaning it’s random memories. Not told chronologically. Often told in a dream state or an inner monologue. I think the format is not going to work for everyone. It’s sort of feels like reading a messy therapy session, but that’s what life is. And the memoir isn’t about just one thing. It’s racism in medicine. It’s daddy issues. It’s struggles with depression. It’s finding self worth. It’s an examination of relationships. I think the reason I had a hard time relating is because it was about so many things that are only cohesive for one person: the author.

[Kenny Kemper · Rating 5 out of 5]

This memoir was really good and Anthony Chin-Quee did a great job narrating the audio book. I enjoyed how he portrayed the talks with his inner self and makes me feel better as I feel that I have had some of those same convos with myself. Something that hit hard for me is when he said paraphrasing here, “Medicine got me here but I do not love it.” When you work so hard in one line of work and have accomplished so much but you no longer have that joy and you can already see your self doing something different to at brings you more happiness.

[Barbara Monaghan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent, well-written memoir of an African American physician and his struggles with structural racism, mental illness, an often absent challenging father, and just everyday life in this world. Antony Chin-Quee is a great student and brilliant man, who not only helps himself, but may others on his way to his own clarity and truth. I learned a lot by reading this book and highly recommend. @riverhead books

[Julie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a "one sit read" and I'll admit, not at all what I expected. I'm so warped from watching TV medical shows that have no basis at all in reality that this memoir was completely surprising. Totally unique in its storytelling manner, it covers roughly the years between the beginning and end of the quest to become a specialist in the American medical arena. Chin-Quee is an underdog and he splits open his heart to show us all the possible ways he has struggled to find his voice and why.

[Janie · Rating 5 out of 5]

The format of this book is brilliant. I read a lot of medical books and this one starts out in typical format with an engaging account of the author's experience in residency. It makes a sudden turn into a semi-hallucinatory descriptiin of depression, then moves into a play format with scenes recounting racism, then into a thundering rap lyric... wow, I loved it. Spoiler alert, the author leaves the field of medicine. His journey is worth reading for many reasons.