Nothing about this book worked for me. There was no character growth, the primary conflict was poorly developed and introduced far too late in the book, and the ending was unsatisfying.
This review contains spoilers for many major events in the book and the ending. CW for discussion in this review of eating disorders.
The primary conflict is underdeveloped and poorly explained
The climax in this book resolves the question, “Should Oliver and Luc get married?” But this question is not introduced until Part 5, which starts at 82%.
Up until this point, the primary questions addressed by the book are, “What should Luc and Oliver’s wedding look like?” and “What do Luc and Oliver’s event-planning preferences say about them as people?" These questions are resolved (to the extent anything is resolved in this book, i.e., not very much) by 95%, and then at 96% we learn, for the very first time, that Luc doesn’t like the idea of marriage. We find out at 98% that Oliver doesn’t either. They have one very brief conversation about their mutual objections, agree to call off the wedding, and the book ends.
Instead of feeling like the ending resolves an issue that’s been explored throughout the story, the reader is blindsided by totally new feelings and problems mere pages from the end, given no time to examine them, and then told all is well. This is an incredibly unsatisfying way to end a book, especially in a genre where the reader expects to feel more certainty about the future trajectory of the romantic relationship.
I get that this ending is meant to mirror what happens at the end of Four Weddings and a Funeral, just as the structure of the book mirrors the structure of the movie. (Why it was necessary to copy this or any other movie is a separate question.) But copying the ending of a movie isn’t satisfying unless you make that ending work for your story as well, and Hall has not done that here. Rather than using the other weddings and the funeral to explore the issues that give rise to the ultimate conflict, as well as the character motivations that allow the conflict to be resolved, Hall uses Parts 1-4 to address entirely separate things. The first wedding is pure romcom shenanigans, the second wedding is about whether Luc is over his ex, and the third wedding is devoted to the “What do Luc and Oliver’s event-planning preferences say about them as people?" question. The funeral is about Oliver’s relationship with his family and is the best part of the book, though it’s only nominally related to any of the actual conflicts.
At no point before 96% does the book even hint at either character’s objections to marriage (ostensibly because neither wants to hurt the other by bringing it up sooner). And forget asking what marriage means to either of them, what they want to get out of being married, what their goals are for their relationship, what alternatives to marriage might look like, or anything else along those lines. Those questions are never raised, much less discussed or answered. I have no idea what Oliver or Luc wants out of their relationship other than “to be together,” which is not actually an answer to anything.
The unsatisfactory nature of the ending is exacerbated by the fact that Luc’s objections to marriage make no sense. He laments to his best friend, Bridge, that he wants to go back to the period in the relationship where things were easy, and insinuates that he’s worried about the conflicts marriage might introduce to their relationship. (Long-term commitment is somehow different from marriage, apparently.) He tells Bridge that marriage isn’t just a piece of paper because: “It’s everything marriage means to everyone who’s ever been married ever, or known anybody who’s ever been married ever, or everyone who’s ever been told they can’t get married ever. It’s this huge thing that eats things, and I think it’s going to eat me and Oliver.”
So… he’s basically worried he can’t live up to societal expectations? But isn’t the solution deprioritizing societal expectations and actually talking to your partner about what you want for your relationship and how best to make that happen? I can accept this as a legitimate concern people might have, but “I’m scared of marriage” is the start of a conversation, not the end of one. It’s hard to feel like Luc has made the right decision when this is his reasoning, and frankly it makes me doubt the entire relationship when this is the level of thought that goes into such an important decision.
Oliver appears to have a principled reason for objecting to the concept of marriage (he believes it’s an inherently straight institution and doesn’t want to apply that framework to his life) but the fact that he couldn’t raise this issue until literally the day of his wedding says terrible things about where this relationship is at the end of the book.
The secondary conflict is bizarre
The conflict that gets the most page space is, “What do Luc and Oliver’s event-planning preferences say about them as people?"
Luc is convinced that Oliver doesn’t like rainbow-themed events because he has internalized homophobia and doesn’t value the queer community. Oliver tries to explain that he doesn’t feel represented by rainbow stuff, but Luc doesn’t accept this as valid. At one point he even says, “And now it seems like you’re going to want our wedding to be this mega-traditional bells-and-incense thing with no queer iconography because you’re so insecure in yourself that rainbows make you uncomfortable.” Oliver’s response to this is to metaphorically wring his hands and say “maybe you’re right, I need to go think about it.” In a later conversation, Oliver says, “If we get married underneath a rainbow balloon arch, we’ll be denying who I am, and if we don’t, we’ll be denying who you are.”
It gets to the point that, after seeing pictures of Luc at his bachelor party at a queer art gallery, Oliver suggests they might need to break up because Oliver will never enjoy going to the same types of events as Luc. Why they can’t just enjoy separate things like any healthy couple, I don’t know, and neither do they.
Their arguments on the subject can all be boiled down to the this:
Oliver: I don’t feel included in the queer community, as you define it, or represented by rainbows or other commonly used queer symbols. In fact, I feel excluded when the community is defined this way.
Luc: That’s homophobic. Why are you so uncomfortable with yourself? You’re rejecting a core part of my identity.
This argument is presented so many times that it seems clear Hall must think he’s doing something smart and interesting here, and really Making People Think about The Right Way to Be Gay. But Luc’s position is wholly unsupported in the text and repeatedly returning to it only made me think about how poorly reasoned it is.
Oliver isn’t rejecting anything, he’s saying he feels rejected by something. Luc’s response reverses cause and effect.
All of the necessary logical steps between Oliver’s position and Luc’s reaction are missing. While there are reasons why someone’s feelings of alienation from the queer community could come from internalized homophobia, that's far from the only reasons one might not feel represented by the rainbow flag. In order to establish that Oliver is motivated by those feelings, the book should have asked the question, “why does he feel this way?” But instead, the book skips to judgmental, negative assumptions about Oliver’s motivations and expects the reader to accept they make sense.
The fact that Luc never questions his assumptions, just grudgingly accepts that he and Oliver feel differently, while Oliver repeatedly questions himself after Luc’s tirades, says troubling things about Hall’s own opinions on the subject. Does he realize what message he has sent by making Luc’s arguments strident and clear while reducing Oliver to hand-wringing self-doubt, or by letting Luc have the last word on this topic in the book (in an argument that ends with Luc insinuating Oliver isn’t proud of their relationship because he would disapprove of Luc’s desire to buy a mlm flag to hang in their window)? Does he really think that people who don’t like rainbow iconography are rejecting the queer community?
Like much of the rest of the book, this portion could have been vastly improved by asking “why?” somewhere in the writing or editing process. Why do the characters feel this way? Why aren’t their underlying motivations explored on-page? Why does Luc assume Oliver must be coming from a place of self-hatred? Why is not wanting your wedding to be an EDM dance party a rejection of the queer community? Why does Luc’s assessment of whether an event is queer focus so much on how it looks rather than who is present? Why is so much of this book focused on analyzing event-planning preferences instead of more important questions like what Oliver and Luc want out of their relationship?
I’d sure like to know, but I’m never going to find out.
Luc is a self-centered asshole
Luc is one of the most self-centered main characters I’ve ever read in romance. Everything in this book is about him and his feelings, even things that have nothing to do with him. It would be one thing if he started the book this way but grew as a person throughout the story, but he doesn’t. The best anyone gets is Luc acknowledges from time to time that he’s making things about himself and then keeps doing it.
The worst example, by far, is how Luc thinks about Oliver’s eating disorder. On noticing that Oliver is reluctant to take his clothes off, Luc thinks, “I tried to be sensitive to Oliver’s body image issues, I really did. But, at the end of the day, he looked like him and I looked like me, and sometimes it was hard to remember that when he was being down on himself, he wasn’t being down on me by association.” He also rationalizes Oliver’s insecurities (simply accepting them as valid is too much to ask) by noting that Oliver isn’t as fit as he was before, because “the problem with giving yourself an eating disorder in pursuit of an impossible beauty standard was that if you got rid of one, you got rid of the other.” In other words, Luc supposes he can accept Oliver’s insecurities because they probably aren’t about Luc, and anyway, they’re factually correct because Oliver’s body is less attractive now. You’d expect these comments from a romance villain, not a romance hero.
Luc’s selfishness extends to his proposal to Oliver, as well. He proposes because he’s feeling insecure and worried about what it means to move in with each other. He doesn’t put any thought into asking the question, and he and Oliver have apparently never talked about marriage before. Oliver’s answer isn’t even shown on-page, that’s how irrelevant it is. Then, when Luc realizes maybe Oliver deserves a better proposal, he goes to one jewelry store and begrudgingly picks out a ring without any prior thought about Oliver’s preferences (and thinks about how he definitely won’t be going to more than one store because that’s too much effort). Then the actual proposal is basically unplanned and all he says is “how great you are and how… like… feelings you make me.” He can’t put even a tiny amount of effort into figuring out how to express his feelings, despite Oliver taking great care to express his feelings to Luc during their previous conversation about moving in together. All of this is supposed to be endearingly incompetent but instead it’s just rude and thoughtless.
Even Oliver’s dealings with his family, including his grief over his father’s death, are about Luc. When the two are going to meet with Oliver’s parents to talk about the wedding, Luc offers no emotional support whatsoever despite knowing how difficult the situation is for Oliver. Instead of spending time that morning mentally preparing (which he explains is important to him), Oliver has to make French toast for Luc so he’ll get out of bed. And when Oliver is grieving, Luc sits around uselessly wishing Oliver would tell him how to comfort him. He makes no effort to figure out what might help Oliver, just whines to his friends about how he's worried Oliver will dump him due to his grief.
Luc also doesn’t do much to support their shared life together, for example avoiding almost all housework and cooking because he’s “bad at it.” Except the sole reason he’s bad at it is because he doesn’t really try. He chooses difficult recipes at the last minute that require complicated substitutions and ingredients he doesn’t know where to purchase. Most people would fail under these circumstances. His efforts aren’t cute or funny, they’re weaponized incompetence – doing something poorly in order to justify putting the burden on your partner. It's selfish behavior that destroys real-life relationships and reads like a red flag, not funny romcom behavior.
Even the rainbow debate is another way Luc makes things about himself. Oliver can’t have feelings about his own identity that are just for him, they must be a commentary on Luc.
For much of the book, all Oliver does is show up to dispense support or wisdom. He has no thoughts or desires beyond what Luc needs at any given moment.
The entire book is like this. Luc forgets his best friend’s wedding vows the moment he hears them because they’re not personally meaningful to him (his best friend’s happiness apparently doesn’t reach that threshold). Someone acknowledging that a past situation was hurtful to Luc is them playing the “you’ve-got-every-right-to-be-angry card to guilt [him] out of being angry.” Bridge learning that her fiancé might be cheating on the same night Oliver and Luc have plans is the universe conspiring to make Luc look like a shitty boyfriend.
He’s also a complete dick to all sorts of people, from acquaintances encountered at weddings (outright telling someone he hasn’t seen in ages that he’s a prick, while making small talk), to jewelry store employees (accusing them of insulting him and then getting mad when they’re offended).
A lot of this would be forgivable if it resulted in character growth. But it doesn’t. Luc is a self-centered dickhead for the entire book and never even notices how shitty he is, much less does anything about it.
Luc only cares about appearances
Luc’s number one concern in any situation is how things looks to other people, not what’s best for him as a person (much less Oliver, who’s a total afterthought the entire book).
As discussed above, Luc fears marriage because of the associated expectations from other people. Luc also admits to Bridge near the end of the book that he proposed to Oliver because he was feeling insecure after his ex’s wedding and wanted to “show or prove” that their relationship was working well. And right before the wedding, he thinks the guests are waiting for him and Oliver to “prove our relationship was just as good as theirs.”
Similarly, he wishes Oliver had been on time to Bridge’s bachelorette party because then he could have “had proof” to show Miles that his life is good now, and he wants to go to Miles’s wedding to “show my ex-boyfriend, my ex-boyfriend’s fiancé I’d met once, and a bunch of strangers that I was free and happy and over it and moving on with my new, infinitely better boyfriend.”
This obsession with appearances extends to absolutely everything, no matter how mundane. He can’t even appreciate small things about his partner because of what other people might think. Holding Oliver’s hand is a skill developed on “embarrassing” walks in their neighborhood. Oliver calling dogs “woofles” isn’t cute, it’s “embarrassing” (see a theme here?). His thought on seeing Oliver wearing his engagement ring is how “mediocre” the ring is.
His bachelor party is the best part of getting married because of how cool it makes him look that he’s having a “super-queer, super-modern non-gender-specific animal party full of exciting people in an exciting venue organized by my exciting lesbian best man.” Tokenizing one of your best friends? Totally fine and not at all something to scrutinize in yourself.
Instead of just picking his best man based on who he’s closest to, his first thought it about what his choice will say about gender roles and his awareness of them: “Picking a best man was a complicated business. Because you didn’t want to be gender normative, but if you got too role-reversy you ended up with something that was gender normative in the other direction.” (Hall apparently felt compelled to point out each and every instance of normative thoughts or behavior as though doing so is, in and of itself, saying something worthwhile. It isn’t.)
A better book would have realized that all of this, especially proposing for the sake of appearances, is terrible and would have had Luc address this flaw. But he never does.
Other miscellaneous problems
* “Her name was Ana with one n, and he said he’d met her ‘on the social media.’ Given that like many of Rhys’s dates she was bizarrely hot and carried herself in a way that suggested she had incredible body confidence, I suspected he’d met her on one social medium in particular.” (This is a reference to OnlyFans, which Rhys had earlier mentioned he was on.) Having your character assume a confident, attractive woman must be a sex worker is not canceled out by a sex work-positive speech by the woman later.
* There are endless pop-culture references in this, to the point of acting out a scene from Pretty Woman and using Love Actually as an explanation for one character’s feelings in another scene. Good luck to readers who aren’t familiar with these references and won’t get the feelings or ideas these scenes are intended to convey, I guess.
* I love how this book is simultaneously hyperaware of superficial heteronormativity but actual heteronormativity in the writing is ignored, such as assuming that a man and woman would only ever be in public together because they’re having sex, or including the tired “only women care about weddings” trope.
* It’s absolutely baffling to use an easily disproved legal myth as the way to establish the cleverness of your lawyer character. For anyone wondering, no, you cannot avoid a theft charge by waiting to form the intent not to pay for your meal until after you’ve eaten the food.
* Over-the-top romcom bullshit like a publishing company booking an author’s book tour in New York, Texas; Los Angeles, Texas; and Las Vegas, New Mexico isn’t funny, it’s exhausting. This whole book is way too convinced of its own cleverness and would be substantially improved by deleting 90% of the “clever” lines and references.
I received an ARC in exchange for my review.