Letters to My Father

by Kathleen A. Balgley

Kathleen A. Balgley's memoir begins with her childhood discovery of her father's hidden Jewish identity and the prohibition of speaking of it in or outside the family. Disturbed by this uncharacteristic attitude of her otherwise unprejudiced parents, the author seeks to learn more about her own Jewish identity. Immersing herself in the historically terrorized heart of wartime Europe and the epicenter of Jewish suffering, she accepts a Fulbright to communist Poland just before the fall of the Berlin Wall (1987-1989). There she witnesses the ongoing controversy about Polish anti-Semitism, Poland's collusion and heroism during WWII, and the history of its treatment of its Jews pre and post-war. In the state archives of Poland and Belarus, Balgley uncovers the lives (and deaths) of her relatives in her father's birthplace in Brest, Belarus (formerly Brześc or Brest-Litovsk, Poland). Throughout the journey, bashert, (the Yiddish term for "destiny") uncannily guides the author to uncover deeply hidden stories. Her father, who had said he would not travel to Poland to visit her, changes his mind after reading letters from his daughter about her discoveries. Touring the country together, father and daughter find a way to heal the rift between them.

468 pages, Paperback

Published August 1, 2022

Reviews

[Katie Casey · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so engrossing I couldn't put it down. Spanning over a hundred years from a childhood in an early 20th century Polish shtetl, to the mid-century suburban American Midwest, back to late 20th century communist Poland, and finally to Israel, both physically and metaphorically, the author’s quest to recover her lost family history and to resolve her own individual identity is absolutely captivating. For one, her writing is a joy to read. Lyrical, engaging, sometimes laugh out loud funny, incisive and smart. Additionally, many moments are so visceral, the people so vivid, the experiences so palpable, I found the author disappearing from my view and the story becoming my own. So utterly transported into her world was I. Ultimately, what I enjoyed the most is the author’s habit of presenting difficult issues as questions to the people she encounters on her journey and to her reader. There are more questions here than answers and I found the author's method of inquiring into the problems of ethnic identity, family narrative, personal and political responsibility, and inner emigration to be deeply moving and thought provoking. A great read and a rewarding one.

[Elena · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant, strong narrative, this book takes you into the mood of those times and places. An inspiring and moving family story, that encourages also to reflect and research!

[Judy Bernstein · Rating 5 out of 5]

Letters to My Father is a wonderful book for anyone interested in putting together the puzzle pieces of their family history. Balgley's lush writing lays out the journey with all of the suspense of a compelling novel.

As a child myself of two people forbidden to marry due to conflicted ethnic backgrounds, I especially related to her message that we often take on the role of mediators. A subtle, but firmly delivered, message from my parents.

Her historical research reminds the reader that even though the conflict may have been resolved, or subsided, the impact ripples through through generations.

[Marcia Caulkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

While I have known Kathleen for much of my life there was so much about her life that I learned from this memoir. As you follow her story from her childhood memories of friends and family to her move to Poland for her teaching experience ,to her continued quest to find her ancestry you will be enveloped in her journey in a way you wouldn't expect. Kathleen has a very engaging writing style that makes you not only feel like you know the people she's writing about but you actually feel like you are living the experience with her. I had heard stories of her Fulbright experience but this book engaged me in a different way. One in which I was there , with her , at her classes, at her grandparent's apartment, at the cemetery looking for headstones. One doesn't have to be Polish, Jewish or searching for ancestry to enjoy this book. One only has to fall under the spell of Kathleen's writing to enjoy the journey. And once you begin, I guarantee you, you will.

[Raphael · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sometimes we travel a trail that has rocks, ravines, and uneven streams. This book reminds me of that kind of travel, each step that the book takes is sometimes a very difficult step for a society, for a time and for an anyone taking that path. The trail eventually leads one to feel the pains and travails of a rugged past, and the reflections on our present and possible future. It speaks to the strength and stamina of humanity through a thorough exploration of the author’s Father’s history and times. Highly recommended.

[Jane Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a wonderful investigation into her ancestry! It is s marvelous telling of her father’s long-hidden story. And it’s all documented with pictures of her discoveries as she turns over every stone on her journey. Thorough and captivating. Beautifully told.