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I Am God's Dagger
“I know what’s been done to you, and I will see you avenged.”
Gabriel. Broken. Lonely. Scarred. Delusional?
Abaddon. Lord of Locusts. Master of the Bottomless Pit. Angel of Destruction and Vengeance… But is he real?
After a psychotic episode in his childhood, Gabriel is left shattered and unable to join society. Trapped in the orphanage he grew up in, he is plagued by nightmares of events that never happened, events that left him scarred, flinching at touch and achingly lonely.
Until one day he decides on a whim to not take his meds.
Born from a cold womb in the ground, Abaddon awakens to the world with one goal: to destroy a cult that commits blasphemous crimes in his name. What he doesn’t expect is meeting a boy who survived one of their rituals.
That is when God reveals Abaddon’s true purpose. He shall protect the boy from the vultures circling him and avenge his pain. He shall take Gabriel under his wing and provide all the love and affection the boy never got to experience.
As they set out to hunt the monsters together, Gabriel entrusts his body and soul to his beautiful guardian angel, yet he can’t stop questioning whether Abaddon is real or just a creation of his touch-starved mind.
Either way, vengeance has begun to cut through the cultists with its scythe, and there is no turning back, no matter how deep the rabbit hole goes.
*
Themes: opposites attract, hurt/comfort, size difference, angst, childhood trauma and abuse, mental health, self-harm, deception, mindf*ck, occult, gaslighting, revenge, torture, blasphemy, orphanage, cults
Genre: Dark, thriller M/M romance
Length: ~ 86,000 words (Standalone)
WARNING: This book contains adult content that might be considered offensive. Strong language, violence, torture, and explicit scenes. Reader discretion advised. Not for the fainthearted.
Virtuous Sinners is a collection of gay romance stories that center on killers who are guided by a virtuous code. These dark novels are connected only by theme and can be read standalone.
The killer's virtue in “I Am God’s Dagger”: Piety
Gabriel. Broken. Lonely. Scarred. Delusional?
Abaddon. Lord of Locusts. Master of the Bottomless Pit. Angel of Destruction and Vengeance… But is he real?
After a psychotic episode in his childhood, Gabriel is left shattered and unable to join society. Trapped in the orphanage he grew up in, he is plagued by nightmares of events that never happened, events that left him scarred, flinching at touch and achingly lonely.
Until one day he decides on a whim to not take his meds.
Born from a cold womb in the ground, Abaddon awakens to the world with one goal: to destroy a cult that commits blasphemous crimes in his name. What he doesn’t expect is meeting a boy who survived one of their rituals.
That is when God reveals Abaddon’s true purpose. He shall protect the boy from the vultures circling him and avenge his pain. He shall take Gabriel under his wing and provide all the love and affection the boy never got to experience.
As they set out to hunt the monsters together, Gabriel entrusts his body and soul to his beautiful guardian angel, yet he can’t stop questioning whether Abaddon is real or just a creation of his touch-starved mind.
Either way, vengeance has begun to cut through the cultists with its scythe, and there is no turning back, no matter how deep the rabbit hole goes.
*
Themes: opposites attract, hurt/comfort, size difference, angst, childhood trauma and abuse, mental health, self-harm, deception, mindf*ck, occult, gaslighting, revenge, torture, blasphemy, orphanage, cults
Genre: Dark, thriller M/M romance
Length: ~ 86,000 words (Standalone)
WARNING: This book contains adult content that might be considered offensive. Strong language, violence, torture, and explicit scenes. Reader discretion advised. Not for the fainthearted.
Virtuous Sinners is a collection of gay romance stories that center on killers who are guided by a virtuous code. These dark novels are connected only by theme and can be read standalone.
The killer's virtue in “I Am God’s Dagger”: Piety
303 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 11, 2022
314 people are currently reading
1266 people want to read
About the author
K.A. Merikan
130 books3,024 followers(Goodreads profile run by Kat)
K. A. Merikan is a duo of queer writers who don’t believe in following the well-trodden path. In their books you can dip your toe into dangerous romance with mafiosi, outlaw bikers and bad boys, all from the safety of your sofa. They love the weird and wonderful, stepping out of the box, and bending stereotypes both in life and in fiction. Their stories don’t shy away from exploring the darker side of M/M romance, and feature a variety of anti-heroes, rebels, misfits, and underdogs who go against the grain.
Be prepared for shocking twists, dark humor, raw emotions, and sizzling hot scenes.
K.A. Merikan also writes steamy M/M romcoms as Devon Doe.
e-mail: kamerikan@gmail.com
More information about ongoing projects, works in progress and publishing at:
K.A. Merikan’s author page: http://kamerikan.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/kamerikan
K. A. Merikan is a duo of queer writers who don’t believe in following the well-trodden path. In their books you can dip your toe into dangerous romance with mafiosi, outlaw bikers and bad boys, all from the safety of your sofa. They love the weird and wonderful, stepping out of the box, and bending stereotypes both in life and in fiction. Their stories don’t shy away from exploring the darker side of M/M romance, and feature a variety of anti-heroes, rebels, misfits, and underdogs who go against the grain.
Be prepared for shocking twists, dark humor, raw emotions, and sizzling hot scenes.
K.A. Merikan also writes steamy M/M romcoms as Devon Doe.
e-mail: kamerikan@gmail.com
More information about ongoing projects, works in progress and publishing at:
K.A. Merikan’s author page: http://kamerikan.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/kamerikan
Ratings & Reviews
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 164 reviews
April 30, 2025
Angelic. Demonic. Triumphant.
The premise of this novel is fascinating—What happens when an angel arrives on Earth to serve up vengeance to the most obscenely evil, and most deserving, people?
This story is tightly written, vivid, and immersive. The orphanage and its surrounding grounds are a simultaneously exquisite and ghoulish canvas on which the writers depict this dazzling tale.
Gabriel has had his adolescence and early adulthood stolen from him. He has been brainwashed his whole life after severe childhood abuse and trauma.
Abaddon is heavenly and ethereal. Glorious, inside and out. His tattoos are spiritual, poignant, and hot AF.
“Of course I’m real. How else would I have killed two men and made love to you, all in one morning?”
“There is nothing sinful about pleasure and happiness.”
The tension throughout this material is beyond palpable. I don’t think they’ve ever created a volume this taut. The reader is genuinely uncomfortable.
Gabriel’s anxiety and Abaddon’s ambivalence are eloquently portrayed. The actual gay topics of touching in public, holding hands, man/boy dynamics, and a plethora of others, are all reliably explored here by K&A.
Abaddon empowers Gabriel, who’s been a victim his entire existence. Gabriel’s anguish at a relationship with a time limit is something that anyone can empathize and connect with. Gabriel attempting to face losing Abaddon is terrifying for him, and heartbreaking for the audience.
The sex is off the charts. The shower. The attic. But after the pyramid, in the field…OMFG. Erotic, authentic, explosive, and beautiful.
The last 30% of this book is absolutely impossible to put down.
The truth of Abaddon is revealed deftly, and it’s a completely brutal gut punch.
This work transcends the romance genre. Thriller, mystery, adventure, and suspense elements are all masterfully interwoven. Complex matters of religion, God, the Devil, parents, upbringing, trusting one’s own memories—they are navigated adroitly. Their writing is improving, which is scary, because they were already excellent. Few authors could take on such intricate subjects, issues, themes, and characters, and handle them with such poise and confidence.
“You weren’t the only one born here, because a new future for me was your twin.”
The premise of this novel is fascinating—What happens when an angel arrives on Earth to serve up vengeance to the most obscenely evil, and most deserving, people?
This story is tightly written, vivid, and immersive. The orphanage and its surrounding grounds are a simultaneously exquisite and ghoulish canvas on which the writers depict this dazzling tale.
Gabriel has had his adolescence and early adulthood stolen from him. He has been brainwashed his whole life after severe childhood abuse and trauma.
Abaddon is heavenly and ethereal. Glorious, inside and out. His tattoos are spiritual, poignant, and hot AF.
“Of course I’m real. How else would I have killed two men and made love to you, all in one morning?”
“There is nothing sinful about pleasure and happiness.”
The tension throughout this material is beyond palpable. I don’t think they’ve ever created a volume this taut. The reader is genuinely uncomfortable.
Gabriel’s anxiety and Abaddon’s ambivalence are eloquently portrayed. The actual gay topics of touching in public, holding hands, man/boy dynamics, and a plethora of others, are all reliably explored here by K&A.
Abaddon empowers Gabriel, who’s been a victim his entire existence. Gabriel’s anguish at a relationship with a time limit is something that anyone can empathize and connect with. Gabriel attempting to face losing Abaddon is terrifying for him, and heartbreaking for the audience.
The sex is off the charts. The shower. The attic. But after the pyramid, in the field…OMFG. Erotic, authentic, explosive, and beautiful.
The last 30% of this book is absolutely impossible to put down.
The truth of Abaddon is revealed deftly, and it’s a completely brutal gut punch.
This work transcends the romance genre. Thriller, mystery, adventure, and suspense elements are all masterfully interwoven. Complex matters of religion, God, the Devil, parents, upbringing, trusting one’s own memories—they are navigated adroitly. Their writing is improving, which is scary, because they were already excellent. Few authors could take on such intricate subjects, issues, themes, and characters, and handle them with such poise and confidence.
“You weren’t the only one born here, because a new future for me was your twin.”
November 1, 2022
I sat with my feelings for a bit after finishing this story. I’m conflicted. What I can say for certainty is I really appreciated the artistry in which this story was woven. It was incredibly unique and I LOVE stories that don’t follow the usual narrative.
It’s dark, trust those TW. However, it’s also beautiful. The visuals are done so well, from the depictions of gorgeous stained glass in the windows, to the dark forrest, the spider infested hidden passageways and the creepy attic, with a killing count on the wall. (not to mention the sacrificial temple) The flashbacks, the foreshadowing, the symbolism all there to get your mind questioning everything.
There were delusions within delusions until I couldn’t tell what the truth was, I’m still a bit confused about a few things.
“I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know what’s real and what’s imagined anymore...What if this is some elaborate nightmare?”
Exactly Gabriel, same here.
Despite all the confusion and gore, I really loved this unique relationship between someone who felt his it was his soul’s purpose to avenge and save another. Abaddon and Gabriel are the same, yet complete opposites. Abaddon is strong, gentle and caring (with Gabriel). Gabriel is a quivering lamb craving positive attention and love. It was a match made in heaven...urm, wherever - they were adorable.
I could have used another steamy scene with the two once they were settled, but I’m greedy with my romances.
Random thoughts:
I was wondering what exactly
Also, what happened to Harry? Were we just going to take that creepyass Father John’s explanation that he’s a priest and living only a few miles away?
Why did Abaddon constantly smell like dirt and ‘stones pulled out of a fire’ even after he showered?
That piranha scene was gruesome but also kinda campy like a cheesy horror flick. I laughed when I probably shouldn’t have.
I was surprised when the mmc was also a vegetarian like the last leading man in a Merikan story. Could just be a coincidence, or maybe this is a theme they have with all their mmc?
I REALLY wanted them to
Check the TW if you’re sensitive AT ALL to anything involving cult/child sacrifice/extreme abuse/torture/self harm.
Ends with a hea/hfn.
Huge thanks to Dan for recommending this one to me!
It’s dark, trust those TW. However, it’s also beautiful. The visuals are done so well, from the depictions of gorgeous stained glass in the windows, to the dark forrest, the spider infested hidden passageways and the creepy attic, with a killing count on the wall. (not to mention the sacrificial temple) The flashbacks, the foreshadowing, the symbolism all there to get your mind questioning everything.
There were delusions within delusions until I couldn’t tell what the truth was, I’m still a bit confused about a few things.
“I don’t know what to believe. I don’t know what’s real and what’s imagined anymore...What if this is some elaborate nightmare?”
Exactly Gabriel, same here.
Despite all the confusion and gore, I really loved this unique relationship between someone who felt his it was his soul’s purpose to avenge and save another. Abaddon and Gabriel are the same, yet complete opposites. Abaddon is strong, gentle and caring (with Gabriel). Gabriel is a quivering lamb craving positive attention and love. It was a match made in heaven...urm, wherever - they were adorable.
I could have used another steamy scene with the two once they were settled, but I’m greedy with my romances.
Random thoughts:
I was wondering what exactly
Also, what happened to Harry? Were we just going to take that creepyass Father John’s explanation that he’s a priest and living only a few miles away?
Why did Abaddon constantly smell like dirt and ‘stones pulled out of a fire’ even after he showered?
That piranha scene was gruesome but also kinda campy like a cheesy horror flick. I laughed when I probably shouldn’t have.
I was surprised when the mmc was also a vegetarian like the last leading man in a Merikan story. Could just be a coincidence, or maybe this is a theme they have with all their mmc?
I REALLY wanted them to
Check the TW if you’re sensitive AT ALL to anything involving cult/child sacrifice/extreme abuse/torture/self harm.
Ends with a hea/hfn.
Huge thanks to Dan for recommending this one to me!
August 1, 2022
I have to say that this story needs all the warnings. It delves into things such as child torture, child rape, and child murder as well as all the other things mentioned in the blurb, so keep that in mind going in.
Or as Abaddon says of Gabriel - "Cut. Drowned. Burned. Lashed. Raped. The fifth of six innocent sacrifices. Six, three times over."
I will be spoiling this one, so be warned.
I would say that this was in my opinion, a horror romance, heavy on the horror. In this one we have Gabriel, who since he was 12, thought he was insane because his mind had memories in it that everyone in the orphanage said could not be true. In this orphanage, Gabriel is locked away, only allowed to work and never be allowed around the children. His only friend was a cat.
In his mind all of these people hurt him horrifically, so he had to live with them but unable to stop thinking of all the bad stuff. He was told he did all the harm to himself, that it was just his mind making everything up, even while he was a child in the hospital healing from being tortured, raped, and almost killed. He is on pills given to him by the Dr for the orphanage and is just barely living, as he was not fed well as part of his "treatment".
One day he goes to the kitchen and sees the cook being killed by an angel. Abaddon tells him that he is there to protect him and kill all the bad people. From this meeting, Gabriel learns that all the bad stuff actually happened. Abaddon believes that he was born of the earth to get rid of the cult that was trying to summon a god.
Things happen and Abaddon and Gabriel fall in love with each other while killing the bad people. For 80% of the book, they both believe that Abaddon is an angel. Gabriel loves him so much that he decides that he will try penetrative sex, even though he was raped when he was 12 and only knows that it hurts.
Then the big reveal happens.
But yall, they dont quit each other. After what goes down Gabriel sees what happened to Abaddon and still cares for him. They both become avenging angels and get their HEA.
I loved that even at the end Abaddon and Gabriel did not suddenly get better mentally. They both still have issues with everything they went through but still love each other.
I got this one from grr
Or as Abaddon says of Gabriel - "Cut. Drowned. Burned. Lashed. Raped. The fifth of six innocent sacrifices. Six, three times over."
I will be spoiling this one, so be warned.
I would say that this was in my opinion, a horror romance, heavy on the horror. In this one we have Gabriel, who since he was 12, thought he was insane because his mind had memories in it that everyone in the orphanage said could not be true. In this orphanage, Gabriel is locked away, only allowed to work and never be allowed around the children. His only friend was a cat.
In his mind all of these people hurt him horrifically, so he had to live with them but unable to stop thinking of all the bad stuff. He was told he did all the harm to himself, that it was just his mind making everything up, even while he was a child in the hospital healing from being tortured, raped, and almost killed. He is on pills given to him by the Dr for the orphanage and is just barely living, as he was not fed well as part of his "treatment".
One day he goes to the kitchen and sees the cook being killed by an angel. Abaddon tells him that he is there to protect him and kill all the bad people. From this meeting, Gabriel learns that all the bad stuff actually happened. Abaddon believes that he was born of the earth to get rid of the cult that was trying to summon a god.
“You are safe now, Gabriel. I’m here to make sure those demons in human skin never hurt you again.” He kept his voice low and steady, just above a whisper to not frighten this lamb further.
“I shall keep you safe. You’re alive because the Almighty has other plans for you, and I am here to carry out his will . So help me God, I will make sure you’re no longer plagued by the shadows who stole your innocence,” Abaddon said and stepped back when the boy stopped struggling.
“I am Abaddon, the Lord of locusts. The Angel of Destruction. I hold the key to the Bottomless Pit.”
“I know what’s been done to you, poor lamb, and I will avenge you.”
Things happen and Abaddon and Gabriel fall in love with each other while killing the bad people. For 80% of the book, they both believe that Abaddon is an angel. Gabriel loves him so much that he decides that he will try penetrative sex, even though he was raped when he was 12 and only knows that it hurts.
Then the big reveal happens.
But yall, they dont quit each other. After what goes down Gabriel sees what happened to Abaddon and still cares for him. They both become avenging angels and get their HEA.
I loved that even at the end Abaddon and Gabriel did not suddenly get better mentally. They both still have issues with everything they went through but still love each other.
I got this one from grr
August 4, 2022
Genre: Dark Romance
Type: A book in Virtuous Sinners collection
POV: Third Person - Dual
Rating:
4.25 Stars
Gabriel was content being sheltered in the orphanage he grew up in. Though he had recurring nightmares and hallucinations, he managed to live a fairly normal life. That was until the angel of destruction Abaddon came to fulfill his destiny that could change both of their lives.
This book was different, engaging, and entertaining. I love the cult-based storyline and how the main characters were connected. I also liked seeing how they coped with the situations they were thrown into.
The story delved into dark subjects, but most of the darkness was off page. The sexy times were just the right amount to entice without compromising/undermining the characters’ experience.
I Am God’s Dagger is a story of survival and vengeance. It would appeal to readers who enjoy dark romance with elements of fantasy and suspense.
♦️⚔️♦️. . . (F)BR with Twinsie CC . . .♦️ ⚔️♦️
For more reviews/interviews/book talk/promo visit:
Type: A book in Virtuous Sinners collection
POV: Third Person - Dual
Rating:
4.25 StarsGabriel was content being sheltered in the orphanage he grew up in. Though he had recurring nightmares and hallucinations, he managed to live a fairly normal life. That was until the angel of destruction Abaddon came to fulfill his destiny that could change both of their lives.
This book was different, engaging, and entertaining. I love the cult-based storyline and how the main characters were connected. I also liked seeing how they coped with the situations they were thrown into.
Seeing the glint of tears in his eyes, the trembling of his delicate fingers was the confirmation that God had sent Abaddon to Earth for him.
The story delved into dark subjects, but most of the darkness was off page. The sexy times were just the right amount to entice without compromising/undermining the characters’ experience.
I Am God’s Dagger is a story of survival and vengeance. It would appeal to readers who enjoy dark romance with elements of fantasy and suspense.
♦️⚔️♦️. . . (F)BR with Twinsie CC . . .♦️ ⚔️♦️
For more reviews/interviews/book talk/promo visit:
September 22, 2022
This one is a little hard to rate. 3.5 stars I guess? My enjoyment levels were incredibly variable as I read it, so I'm gonna.......round down.
It is dark, and does need the warnings, so make sure to read those.
This has a strong start, great mystery tension, great suspense. This book has the Merikan hallmarks, which I always appreciate.
Unfortunately, there's a complete flat zone in the middle where I was really, really bored. I did a lot of skimming. I had trouble buying into their relationship and connection, which made their interactions uninteresting. I really struggled to make it through this middle third or more.
Once I made it to around 65%, it picked up again, probably because it was much more plot heavy than the (imo, weak) romance focused. I really enjoyed the plot overall, it was a stellar mystery/confusion, and nice and bonkers.
Overall, the book was fine. I guess. The middle dragged so much for me I can't round up so three stars it is.
Virtuous Sinners series
I Am God’s Dagger ⭐⭐⭐
Dark Valor ⭐⭐
Day of Judgement ⭐
Speak and Obey ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Moment of Truth (i cannot find this??)
Nightingale ⭐
Man of Carnage
Pure Silence
The Right Way to Wrong - n/a
Read more reviews on my blog:
https://horsetalkreviews.blogspot.com/
It is dark, and does need the warnings, so make sure to read those.
This has a strong start, great mystery tension, great suspense. This book has the Merikan hallmarks, which I always appreciate.
Unfortunately, there's a complete flat zone in the middle where I was really, really bored. I did a lot of skimming. I had trouble buying into their relationship and connection, which made their interactions uninteresting. I really struggled to make it through this middle third or more.
Once I made it to around 65%, it picked up again, probably because it was much more plot heavy than the (imo, weak) romance focused. I really enjoyed the plot overall, it was a stellar mystery/confusion, and nice and bonkers.
Overall, the book was fine. I guess. The middle dragged so much for me I can't round up so three stars it is.
Virtuous Sinners series
I Am God’s Dagger ⭐⭐⭐
Dark Valor ⭐⭐
Day of Judgement ⭐
Speak and Obey ⭐⭐⭐⭐
Moment of Truth (i cannot find this??)
Nightingale ⭐
Man of Carnage
Pure Silence
The Right Way to Wrong - n/a
Read more reviews on my blog:
https://horsetalkreviews.blogspot.com/
August 12, 2022
Gabriel desperately wanted to believe what was happening before his eyes, that an Angel called Abaddon, will revenge for what people did to him, but he can’t believe his psychotic brain, it must be because he stopped his medication. Abaddon Angel of Destruction and Vengeance, is here to cherish and take care of him, is it real? Nobody ever did.
His imaginary Angel is stunning so Gabriel accepts his offer and lets him take revenge.
Angel Abaddon has visions, about a scary boy, hurt, used, abused, and tormented by evil evil people.
Sweet innocent Gabriel gets to explore bodily pleasures with Abaddon and my goodness!
Abaddon is protective and over his head with Gabriel as Gabriel is with Abaddon.
Six names, names of the evil people who will die for what they did to Gabriel.
Gabriel hates that Abaddon has to leave when they are all dead.
Without spoiling I can say the story includes much more, halfway the dynamic changes and has some master turns.
Overall an intelligent read, about a dark cult, vengeance, crime, and between all the ugliness… a sweet romance. Intriguing story, unpredictable and entertaining. Awesome captivatingly written! I’d say: read it yourself!
His imaginary Angel is stunning so Gabriel accepts his offer and lets him take revenge.
Angel Abaddon has visions, about a scary boy, hurt, used, abused, and tormented by evil evil people.
Sweet innocent Gabriel gets to explore bodily pleasures with Abaddon and my goodness!
Abaddon is protective and over his head with Gabriel as Gabriel is with Abaddon.
Six names, names of the evil people who will die for what they did to Gabriel.
Gabriel hates that Abaddon has to leave when they are all dead.
Without spoiling I can say the story includes much more, halfway the dynamic changes and has some master turns.
Overall an intelligent read, about a dark cult, vengeance, crime, and between all the ugliness… a sweet romance. Intriguing story, unpredictable and entertaining. Awesome captivatingly written! I’d say: read it yourself!
August 5, 2022
As usual when I read a K.A. Merikan story I never know what I’m going to get. There is always a feeling of excitement because their stories are so different than any others and I know they’ll be twisted in the best way ever. This was no exception.
At first I really didn’t know if I was going to like this because I’m in a weird headspace recently and I feel like I’ve been let down by books that i pick up, often resulting in trying a sample and giving up. Was this going to be too strange for me? There are definitely triggers but at the same time nothing is told in explicit detail. I thought Gabriel may be too weak a character resulting in whining which drives me nuts! I was happy that the more I read the more I became interested in what the hell was going on!
Gabriel becomes stronger and more defiant as the book progresses. He starts to challenge Abaddon, making decisions for himself. He learns that he isn’t just someone who should follow what everyone else thinks is best for him but to start doing things for himself. He makes some mistakes and acts out a bit in the process but he’s new to this freedom so it’s to be expected. He owns up to all of his behavior and truly wants to do what is best.
Abaddon was so caring and so sweet to Gabriel. He has visions and feels like things are familiar to him but all he knows is that he came from the ground to stop a cult before they hurt more children like they did years before with Gabriel. There is instalove between Abaddon and Gabriel but it fits the story. These two seem to be made for each other.
There is such a tenderness between Gabriel and Abaddon and they work together to snuff out the evil that is part of this cult. I loved seeing them confront these horrible people who took so much from so many. There is a great twist too that made me so excited. Things tie together and it really was brilliant! I don’t want to say more than that.
**ARC received for review
**All thoughts and opinions are my own
At first I really didn’t know if I was going to like this because I’m in a weird headspace recently and I feel like I’ve been let down by books that i pick up, often resulting in trying a sample and giving up. Was this going to be too strange for me? There are definitely triggers but at the same time nothing is told in explicit detail. I thought Gabriel may be too weak a character resulting in whining which drives me nuts! I was happy that the more I read the more I became interested in what the hell was going on!
Gabriel becomes stronger and more defiant as the book progresses. He starts to challenge Abaddon, making decisions for himself. He learns that he isn’t just someone who should follow what everyone else thinks is best for him but to start doing things for himself. He makes some mistakes and acts out a bit in the process but he’s new to this freedom so it’s to be expected. He owns up to all of his behavior and truly wants to do what is best.
Abaddon was so caring and so sweet to Gabriel. He has visions and feels like things are familiar to him but all he knows is that he came from the ground to stop a cult before they hurt more children like they did years before with Gabriel. There is instalove between Abaddon and Gabriel but it fits the story. These two seem to be made for each other.
There is such a tenderness between Gabriel and Abaddon and they work together to snuff out the evil that is part of this cult. I loved seeing them confront these horrible people who took so much from so many. There is a great twist too that made me so excited. Things tie together and it really was brilliant! I don’t want to say more than that.
**ARC received for review
**All thoughts and opinions are my own
August 13, 2022
I am God's Dagger is part of the Virtuous Sinners series. The summary of the story was intriguing so I decided to pick this one up. It wasn't what I expected.
Trigger warnings for the following: child rape, child torture, child murder and whatever else was provided by the author.
When I first started I am God's Dagger, I thought it was a paranormal story but instead got a horror story rooted in trauma, tragedy, the need for revenge and the evils of humankind. This is a dark and quite disturbing book with an intriguing mystery and fascinating characters.
I loved the character growth that Gabriel showed throughout as he slowly learned more about what truly happened in the past. With Abaddon by his side, he starts to gain his own agency with regards to a lot of things in life. I liked the tenderness and care that Abaddon showered towards Gabriel. It's one of the softer and bright spot that breaks the grimness of this tale. Gabriel and Abaddon are both broken and shaped by events in their past and their reaction to this was reflected in the way they turned out years after. I loved the fact that even after achieving their goals the two of them didn't just magically get better but had to work hard for their mental well-being.
The writing was beautiful and atmospheric with its creepy, haunting and at times dreamlike quality to some of the scenes. The pacing was good and the twists and turns were foreshadowed enough within the story that the reveal was satisfying.
I do recommend giving this book a read.
This would be 4 stars out of 5 stars.
I received an ARC of this book from GRR and I have chosen to publish my fair and honest review.
Trigger warnings for the following: child rape, child torture, child murder and whatever else was provided by the author.
When I first started I am God's Dagger, I thought it was a paranormal story but instead got a horror story rooted in trauma, tragedy, the need for revenge and the evils of humankind. This is a dark and quite disturbing book with an intriguing mystery and fascinating characters.
I loved the character growth that Gabriel showed throughout as he slowly learned more about what truly happened in the past. With Abaddon by his side, he starts to gain his own agency with regards to a lot of things in life. I liked the tenderness and care that Abaddon showered towards Gabriel. It's one of the softer and bright spot that breaks the grimness of this tale. Gabriel and Abaddon are both broken and shaped by events in their past and their reaction to this was reflected in the way they turned out years after. I loved the fact that even after achieving their goals the two of them didn't just magically get better but had to work hard for their mental well-being.
The writing was beautiful and atmospheric with its creepy, haunting and at times dreamlike quality to some of the scenes. The pacing was good and the twists and turns were foreshadowed enough within the story that the reveal was satisfying.
I do recommend giving this book a read.
This would be 4 stars out of 5 stars.
I received an ARC of this book from GRR and I have chosen to publish my fair and honest review.
January 7, 2023
4.5 Stars
“I shall keep you safe. You’re alive because the Almighty has other plans for you, and I am here to carry out his will. So help me God, I will make sure you’re no longer plagued by the shadows who stole your innocence,” Abaddon said and stepped back when the boy stopped struggling.
Gabriel has had to endure so much suffering in his life at the orphanage. Except for Mrs. Knight, no one has ever really cared for him or been on his side. He has been gaslighted for 10 years and made to think he's crazy. Then all of a sudden he walks in on this incredible scene where he first sees Abaddon.
“I am Abaddon, the Lord of locusts. The Angel of Destruction. I hold the key to the Bottomless Pit.”
“I know what’s been done to you, poor lamb, and I will avenge you.”
Abaddon tries to show Gabriel that he is not crazy and that Abaddon is here to help him and show him love. But it's hard for Gabriel to believe because he doesn't even trust his own perception of reality.
Gabriel wanted to believe. Wanted to believe that just this once, God had looked down on him with kindness and had sent him this angel.
Gabriel and Abaddon get to know each other and come to really care for one another while plotting their revenge. There are a lot of very sweet times...
Abaddon’s presence made his body and soul come alive in ways it never before had. His heart beat faster, his face got hotter, his palms sweated. And like a wax candle in front of a bonfire, he might just melt at Abaddon’s altar.
...and some scorching hot sex scenes
Abaddon placed his hands on Gabriel’s hips and leaned in, crooking his head as he gave the tip of Gabriel’s dick the gentlest lick. It was like being.…touched by an angel. Only this was nothing like the stories Gabriel had been read as a child, because the touch of this angel made his toes curl and his balls tighten. With a soft sigh on his mouth, he placed both hands in the damp hair as soon as Abaddon settled on his knees, ready to serve him.
Abaddon conveniently always seems to know the most helpful things at the most helpful times. Is this knowledge coming directly from God? Even Abaddon isn't entirely sure, but he tries not to question it because he cannot remember anything before showing up to the orphanage.
Around 70% into the book, you start to feel that something is coming. I was feeling nervous reading it. You can feel an impending reveal. What will it be? You think you have some ideas, but you would never guess this twist.
The epilogue was wonderful. So sweet and well deserved for both of the MCs. These two saved each other.
You protect me, you showed me the truth, and you’re avenging my pain. You weren’t the only one born here, because a new future for me was your twin.”
“I shall keep you safe. You’re alive because the Almighty has other plans for you, and I am here to carry out his will. So help me God, I will make sure you’re no longer plagued by the shadows who stole your innocence,” Abaddon said and stepped back when the boy stopped struggling.
Gabriel has had to endure so much suffering in his life at the orphanage. Except for Mrs. Knight, no one has ever really cared for him or been on his side. He has been gaslighted for 10 years and made to think he's crazy. Then all of a sudden he walks in on this incredible scene where he first sees Abaddon.
“I am Abaddon, the Lord of locusts. The Angel of Destruction. I hold the key to the Bottomless Pit.”
“I know what’s been done to you, poor lamb, and I will avenge you.”
Abaddon tries to show Gabriel that he is not crazy and that Abaddon is here to help him and show him love. But it's hard for Gabriel to believe because he doesn't even trust his own perception of reality.
Gabriel wanted to believe. Wanted to believe that just this once, God had looked down on him with kindness and had sent him this angel.
Gabriel and Abaddon get to know each other and come to really care for one another while plotting their revenge. There are a lot of very sweet times...
Abaddon’s presence made his body and soul come alive in ways it never before had. His heart beat faster, his face got hotter, his palms sweated. And like a wax candle in front of a bonfire, he might just melt at Abaddon’s altar.
...and some scorching hot sex scenes
Abaddon placed his hands on Gabriel’s hips and leaned in, crooking his head as he gave the tip of Gabriel’s dick the gentlest lick. It was like being.…touched by an angel. Only this was nothing like the stories Gabriel had been read as a child, because the touch of this angel made his toes curl and his balls tighten. With a soft sigh on his mouth, he placed both hands in the damp hair as soon as Abaddon settled on his knees, ready to serve him.
Abaddon conveniently always seems to know the most helpful things at the most helpful times. Is this knowledge coming directly from God? Even Abaddon isn't entirely sure, but he tries not to question it because he cannot remember anything before showing up to the orphanage.
Around 70% into the book, you start to feel that something is coming. I was feeling nervous reading it. You can feel an impending reveal. What will it be? You think you have some ideas, but you would never guess this twist.
The epilogue was wonderful. So sweet and well deserved for both of the MCs. These two saved each other.
You protect me, you showed me the truth, and you’re avenging my pain. You weren’t the only one born here, because a new future for me was your twin.”
July 30, 2022
Ummm… wow. The sheer abundance of imagination and talent required to create this unbelievable story is staggering. Just the psychology of the book and the various characters is enthralling; add in some mystery, a few plot twists, and a hesitant, tender romance, and you have quite the creation.
The psychology is what will really reel you in. There’s a popular cable network TV series with which this book would totally mesh. Take a cult, mix in some religious fervor, a little sociopathy, amnesia, mental trauma, aspirations of grandeur, codependency, and probably a few others I forgot, and you have a buffet of different psychological conditions and challenges to keep you focused on the story.
The mystery is pretty good – you’ll be asking yourself what’s going on for a while as the book progresses. The way the authors mess with your mind almost to the end is impressive. Even if you think you know what’s going on… you’ll still get surprised.
Overall, the story is dark, and some of the subject matter is pitch black; however, it’s so woven into the rest of what’s going on that it’s not as glaring or in-your-face as it could be. I think the various aspects of the dark themes of the book were handled well so that they added to the full experience rather than being present for just shock and awe.
Mix in all the different aspects and the final result was brilliant.
The psychology is what will really reel you in. There’s a popular cable network TV series with which this book would totally mesh. Take a cult, mix in some religious fervor, a little sociopathy, amnesia, mental trauma, aspirations of grandeur, codependency, and probably a few others I forgot, and you have a buffet of different psychological conditions and challenges to keep you focused on the story.
The mystery is pretty good – you’ll be asking yourself what’s going on for a while as the book progresses. The way the authors mess with your mind almost to the end is impressive. Even if you think you know what’s going on… you’ll still get surprised.
Overall, the story is dark, and some of the subject matter is pitch black; however, it’s so woven into the rest of what’s going on that it’s not as glaring or in-your-face as it could be. I think the various aspects of the dark themes of the book were handled well so that they added to the full experience rather than being present for just shock and awe.
Mix in all the different aspects and the final result was brilliant.
August 11, 2022
OMG! Every time I read a book written by K.A. Merikan, I promise myself "not anymore". The intensity of their books and the brilliancy of the storyline is so, so much that I can feel everything the author wrote, and if you add a dark and twisted story, I can less but suffered every single second of it... but with also a story so amazing and wonderful, I simply couldn't stop because I wanted to know what was going to happen and I wanted a future for Gabriel and Abaddon, even if some (many) parts of the book were difficult to read for me, and all the heartbroken moments triggered so many tears. I am not going to spoil the end for you, just know that every single tear, stress moment and heartstopping situation the book had is totally worthy. A dark love story! So, so good!
August 9, 2022
2,75/5
J'ai été attirée par la couverture et le titre du roman. Connaissant les deux auteurs, et étant donné les thèmes annoncés, je savais vers quoi je me dirigeais. J'avais justement envie de quelque chose de plutôt sombre et ce titre m'attirait franchement beaucoup.
C'est l'histoire de Gabriel, qui a vécu toute sa vie dans un orphelinat, et qui rencontre Abaddon, un ange de la destruction et de la vengeance. Gabriel doute, il ne sait pas si l'apparition de cet ange fait partie d'un trouble psychotique ou non. Adadon se définit un peu comme son ange gardien, mais qui a des méthodes peu catholiques.
Je ne vais pas en dire plus pour ne pas trop en dévoiler. Abaddon se voit doter d'une mission et il veut sauver, protéger Gabriel à tout prix.
Je ne peux pas dire si j'ai aimé ou pas ce roman. J'ai eu du mal à entrer vraiment dedans. Les auteurs commencent le roman dans le vif du sujet d'emblée. J'aurais souhaité une entrée en matière un peu plus longue, car de ce fait, j'ai eu du mal à m'attacher à Gabriel. A croire aussi à la venue de cet ange...
Personnellement je m'attendais à quelque chose d'encore plus dark que ça. Certes, c'est violent hein...mais bon. Au final, ce livre se lit bien et honnêtement, j'ai bien aimé la fin et la révélation en quelque sorte. Révélation qui aurait eu plus d'impact chez moi d'ailleurs si j'avais été réellement dans l'histoire. Dommage que ce livre soit trop court au final, car avec un développement plus poussé et une psychologie de ce fait des personnage plus développée, j'aurais eu quelque chose de top et de plus abouti car j'aime ce genre de thème.
Je ne manquerai pas de lire d'autres futurs romans des deux auteurs, d'ailleurs il faut que je reprenne une série mis de côté trop longtemps ^^
J'ai été attirée par la couverture et le titre du roman. Connaissant les deux auteurs, et étant donné les thèmes annoncés, je savais vers quoi je me dirigeais. J'avais justement envie de quelque chose de plutôt sombre et ce titre m'attirait franchement beaucoup.
C'est l'histoire de Gabriel, qui a vécu toute sa vie dans un orphelinat, et qui rencontre Abaddon, un ange de la destruction et de la vengeance. Gabriel doute, il ne sait pas si l'apparition de cet ange fait partie d'un trouble psychotique ou non. Adadon se définit un peu comme son ange gardien, mais qui a des méthodes peu catholiques.
Je ne vais pas en dire plus pour ne pas trop en dévoiler. Abaddon se voit doter d'une mission et il veut sauver, protéger Gabriel à tout prix.
Je ne peux pas dire si j'ai aimé ou pas ce roman. J'ai eu du mal à entrer vraiment dedans. Les auteurs commencent le roman dans le vif du sujet d'emblée. J'aurais souhaité une entrée en matière un peu plus longue, car de ce fait, j'ai eu du mal à m'attacher à Gabriel. A croire aussi à la venue de cet ange...
Personnellement je m'attendais à quelque chose d'encore plus dark que ça. Certes, c'est violent hein...mais bon. Au final, ce livre se lit bien et honnêtement, j'ai bien aimé la fin et la révélation en quelque sorte. Révélation qui aurait eu plus d'impact chez moi d'ailleurs si j'avais été réellement dans l'histoire. Dommage que ce livre soit trop court au final, car avec un développement plus poussé et une psychologie de ce fait des personnage plus développée, j'aurais eu quelque chose de top et de plus abouti car j'aime ce genre de thème.
Je ne manquerai pas de lire d'autres futurs romans des deux auteurs, d'ailleurs il faut que je reprenne une série mis de côté trop longtemps ^^
August 15, 2022
Is there such a thing like Romantic Horror?
Well yes ! Glad you asked, as - I am God's Dagger- falls into that category perfectly.
I read stories by K.A. Merikan because they are provocative , unapologetic , entertaining and completely different from what everyone else is currently writing.
Triggers galore .
Well yes ! Glad you asked, as - I am God's Dagger- falls into that category perfectly.
I read stories by K.A. Merikan because they are provocative , unapologetic , entertaining and completely different from what everyone else is currently writing.
Triggers galore .
August 16, 2022
This is a difficult review to write without spoiling the whole book so here are some notes that are hopefully not too generic.
- I recommend going into this book without reading any spoilers if possible. Definitely look at the content warnings because there is some dark stuff in it but otherwise go in unbiased!
- It starts out strong, drags for the middle portion, then really picks up towards the end. I had to push myself through the 40%-60% portion of the book before I was invested again.
- For how dark the book is the romance and ending were very cute.
- There is a CAT!
- We were THIS CLOSE to emotional hair brushing and it didn't happen. :(
- It's very Merikan, really. Not really the best work they've done but very distinctively theirs.
- I am going to pretend the emotional hair brushing happens off page because otherwise what is the point in all of this pain!
- Overall, if you can handle the CWs (and definitely read them first!!!) this book is worth a read.
I received an ARC copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.
Read this review and more on my blog: https://horsetalkreviews.blogspot.com/
- I recommend going into this book without reading any spoilers if possible. Definitely look at the content warnings because there is some dark stuff in it but otherwise go in unbiased!
- It starts out strong, drags for the middle portion, then really picks up towards the end. I had to push myself through the 40%-60% portion of the book before I was invested again.
- For how dark the book is the romance and ending were very cute.
- There is a CAT!
- We were THIS CLOSE to emotional hair brushing and it didn't happen. :(
- It's very Merikan, really. Not really the best work they've done but very distinctively theirs.
- I am going to pretend the emotional hair brushing happens off page because otherwise what is the point in all of this pain!
- Overall, if you can handle the CWs (and definitely read them first!!!) this book is worth a read.
I received an ARC copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions are my own.
Read this review and more on my blog: https://horsetalkreviews.blogspot.com/
August 16, 2022
The big appeal of this book is the horror tale, and I think it's better to go into it almost blind, so this review will be short. Do read the warnings, though.
I thought the story was intriguing and the mystery fun. I just love the kind of themes the story revolves around; we have a creepy orphanage, an evil paian cult, and an angel that arrives just in time to help our naive, sheltered MC to get his revenge. The atmospheric, sometimes dream-like quality of the writing reminded me of another horror-themed Merikan's book, Where the Devil Says Goodnight, though maybe not as complex or evocative narratively. I think the strength of Where the Devil Says Goodnight was that every scene about it felt dream-like and elevated, including the romance scenes. The change in tone and pace in I am God's Dagger is more jarring in parts, and there's definitely a lull in the middle, where the book focuses more on the romance. The best part about this book is really the horror plot, especially when things start to be revealed in the last half. The romance, to me, was just OK; it starts a little too insta-love to my taste. By the end though, I thought Gabriel and Abaddon were pretty cute. It is a dark book overall, but the romance itself is very sweet and tender.
I received a free copy of this book and am providing my honest review voluntarily.
Read this review and more on my blog: https://horsetalkreviews.blogspot.com/
I thought the story was intriguing and the mystery fun. I just love the kind of themes the story revolves around; we have a creepy orphanage, an evil paian cult, and an angel that arrives just in time to help our naive, sheltered MC to get his revenge. The atmospheric, sometimes dream-like quality of the writing reminded me of another horror-themed Merikan's book, Where the Devil Says Goodnight, though maybe not as complex or evocative narratively. I think the strength of Where the Devil Says Goodnight was that every scene about it felt dream-like and elevated, including the romance scenes. The change in tone and pace in I am God's Dagger is more jarring in parts, and there's definitely a lull in the middle, where the book focuses more on the romance. The best part about this book is really the horror plot, especially when things start to be revealed in the last half. The romance, to me, was just OK; it starts a little too insta-love to my taste. By the end though, I thought Gabriel and Abaddon were pretty cute. It is a dark book overall, but the romance itself is very sweet and tender.
I received a free copy of this book and am providing my honest review voluntarily.
Read this review and more on my blog: https://horsetalkreviews.blogspot.com/
August 6, 2022
“It’s time for a purge.”-Abaddon
And what a purge it was. This book was DARK. But it was so delicious.
It’s hard to equate the Abaddon who said that quote to the Abaddon who jumped up on a chair to get away from a rat! Good lord. Abaddon was many, many things, and charming was one of my favorite. This story had so many twist and turns that you really didn’t see the ending coming. I genuinely thought I was being led down one path only to be derailed by that blindside. I loved that about this book. It wasn’t predictable and it really kept you guessing.
Gabriel was such a broken person. But he worked with what he had. It only took the appearance of Abaddon to unlock a part of him he never knew existed: the vengeful side. I kind of liked seeing this fragile and frail guy get a piece of his own. I also liked how he could be tentative and bold at the same time with Abaddon. It was such a nice mixture.
I don’t want to give anything away, but this book was definitely worth the read. I will say that if I had to read the word ‘stalled’ one more time I would have thrown my kindle across the room. I feel like it was on every page and I got so sick of seeing it.
Dark and delightful. That’s my take on I Am God’s Dagger. It was really nice to see the bad guys get some comeuppance for once.
And what a purge it was. This book was DARK. But it was so delicious.
It’s hard to equate the Abaddon who said that quote to the Abaddon who jumped up on a chair to get away from a rat! Good lord. Abaddon was many, many things, and charming was one of my favorite. This story had so many twist and turns that you really didn’t see the ending coming. I genuinely thought I was being led down one path only to be derailed by that blindside. I loved that about this book. It wasn’t predictable and it really kept you guessing.
Gabriel was such a broken person. But he worked with what he had. It only took the appearance of Abaddon to unlock a part of him he never knew existed: the vengeful side. I kind of liked seeing this fragile and frail guy get a piece of his own. I also liked how he could be tentative and bold at the same time with Abaddon. It was such a nice mixture.
I don’t want to give anything away, but this book was definitely worth the read. I will say that if I had to read the word ‘stalled’ one more time I would have thrown my kindle across the room. I feel like it was on every page and I got so sick of seeing it.
Dark and delightful. That’s my take on I Am God’s Dagger. It was really nice to see the bad guys get some comeuppance for once.
March 22, 2023
Niestety ta książka zupełnie do mnie nie trafiła. Być może dla kogoś była mroczna, fascynująca i z ciekawą, makabryczną intrygą. Dla mnie było to po prostu nudne, naiwne i przy każdym kolejnym zabójstwie, miałam ochotę przewrócić oczami. Po takiej lekturze powinnam coś czuć, a czuje tylko żal, że straciłam czas.
Dziewczyny, miałyście rację 😆😉
Dziewczyny, miałyście rację 😆😉
August 5, 2022
Independent reviewer for Gay Romance Reviews, I was gifted my copy of this book.
This book comes with the warning: Not for the faint hearted. I strongly suggest you heed it!
Because this book is dark and deadly. It's violent and vicious. It's bloody and bloody amazing and I loved it!
I can't say the usual gushing lovey dovey things about this book, because while there IS love here, it's a kinda bookdrop to what's going on in Gabriel's life and finding out what happened when he had his " psychotic episode in his childhood" I put in in inverted commas, for two reasons: I took the wording directly off the blurb. And because, well, you'll see why when you read it.
I loved that Gabriel was, at first, not believing his angel Abaddon was real, but lots of little clues made him put it all together. Loved that Abaddon was so very NOT who is was at first portrayed to be. I have to admit, til all was revealed, I really did not see this coming out good for Gabriel, I really didn't. But when Abaddon, as well as Gabriel, discover the truth? I wasn't sure who I felt more for!
While Abaddon is not perfect, for he does some damage here (not to Gabriel, never to him!), he IS perfect for Gabriel. And Gabriel can see that Abaddon is the product of his upbringing, just as he is.
LIke I said, not for the faint hearted and to be honest, I was in two minds when I requested this book. I figured it will be really bad for me, or really rather amazing and I am so very glad I read it cos it absolutely was the latter.
Possibe trigger themes: opposites attract, hurt/comfort, size difference, angst, childhood trauma and abuse, mental health, self-harm, deception, mindf*ck, occult, gaslighting, revenge, torture, blasphemy, orphanage, cults (taken off the blurb)
5 dark and oh so deadly stars
*same worded review will appear elsewhere
This book comes with the warning: Not for the faint hearted. I strongly suggest you heed it!
Because this book is dark and deadly. It's violent and vicious. It's bloody and bloody amazing and I loved it!
I can't say the usual gushing lovey dovey things about this book, because while there IS love here, it's a kinda bookdrop to what's going on in Gabriel's life and finding out what happened when he had his " psychotic episode in his childhood" I put in in inverted commas, for two reasons: I took the wording directly off the blurb. And because, well, you'll see why when you read it.
I loved that Gabriel was, at first, not believing his angel Abaddon was real, but lots of little clues made him put it all together. Loved that Abaddon was so very NOT who is was at first portrayed to be. I have to admit, til all was revealed, I really did not see this coming out good for Gabriel, I really didn't. But when Abaddon, as well as Gabriel, discover the truth? I wasn't sure who I felt more for!
While Abaddon is not perfect, for he does some damage here (not to Gabriel, never to him!), he IS perfect for Gabriel. And Gabriel can see that Abaddon is the product of his upbringing, just as he is.
LIke I said, not for the faint hearted and to be honest, I was in two minds when I requested this book. I figured it will be really bad for me, or really rather amazing and I am so very glad I read it cos it absolutely was the latter.
Possibe trigger themes: opposites attract, hurt/comfort, size difference, angst, childhood trauma and abuse, mental health, self-harm, deception, mindf*ck, occult, gaslighting, revenge, torture, blasphemy, orphanage, cults (taken off the blurb)
5 dark and oh so deadly stars
*same worded review will appear elsewhere
August 9, 2022
Do you ever read a book, that leaves you thinking long after it is finished? I Am God's Dagger has that affect on you, It has a lasting impression! I have now come to the conclusion that my mind's eye was cleverly distorted by K.A. Merikan and they completely lead me up the garden path. I spent a major part of this book just trying to catch my equilibrium. When I thought I knew which direction the story was going, the path was subtly shifted again, forcing me to rethink the situation and get my bearings all over again. I hadn't really known what to expect going into God's Dagger but I was completely blown away! There is so much more to this story than meets the eye, it's a psychological horror, mystery thriller with biblical hues throughout. Gabriel and Abaddon are really interesting characters and their chemistry was exciting and I felt a deep connection and sorrow for them. The character establishment was so engaging and well built, along with the setting of the Orphanage and it's surroundings. I really enjoyed this dark MM romance and i can't wait for the next books in this series.
There are some serious subjects matters within this book, that might be triggering for some readers. Check the content warnings for I Am God's Dagger before delving in!
There are some serious subjects matters within this book, that might be triggering for some readers. Check the content warnings for I Am God's Dagger before delving in!
August 11, 2022
Amazing
Wow! 100% need to read the trigger warnings here as this book is super Dark and covers some majorly heavy themes. That said, this book is absolutely amazing.
Now how to tell you how and why without spoiling it! My heart broke for Gabriel. He has been though so much and has been so badly mistreated by everyone around him. When he walks in on vengeance being dealt by Abaddon he decides this must be a delusion from not taking his medication that day.
What comes next is a tale of intrigue and vengeance with so many twists and turns that you’ll be kept curious right to the very end.
This book is so well written and you just can’t help but love Gabriel and rage with him. I was drawn in from the very first page and didn’t want to put it down without knowing what happened next. Amazing.
Wow! 100% need to read the trigger warnings here as this book is super Dark and covers some majorly heavy themes. That said, this book is absolutely amazing.
Now how to tell you how and why without spoiling it! My heart broke for Gabriel. He has been though so much and has been so badly mistreated by everyone around him. When he walks in on vengeance being dealt by Abaddon he decides this must be a delusion from not taking his medication that day.
What comes next is a tale of intrigue and vengeance with so many twists and turns that you’ll be kept curious right to the very end.
This book is so well written and you just can’t help but love Gabriel and rage with him. I was drawn in from the very first page and didn’t want to put it down without knowing what happened next. Amazing.
August 6, 2022
I enjoyed the start and end of the story.... but got bored around the middle almost giving up... I felt like the story coasted or stalled out.....
The start was brilliant.. I questioned everything, was Abaddon real, was Gaberial imagining him. Why such a reaction to the cat. As the story went on and we found out Gaberial wasnt imagining all the things he claimed was done to him, I liked how he and Abaddon handled things.
Towards the end, the part of the story I loved, is when we found out the truth. I dont want to say here my fav part... as it is a spoiler.... (not normal fish) ...
But I loved how Gaberial still has Abaddon wrapped around his finger and is still bribing him with baked banana goodness.
The start was brilliant.. I questioned everything, was Abaddon real, was Gaberial imagining him. Why such a reaction to the cat. As the story went on and we found out Gaberial wasnt imagining all the things he claimed was done to him, I liked how he and Abaddon handled things.
Towards the end, the part of the story I loved, is when we found out the truth. I dont want to say here my fav part... as it is a spoiler.... (not normal fish) ...
But I loved how Gaberial still has Abaddon wrapped around his finger and is still bribing him with baked banana goodness.
October 16, 2023
Oh, this was deliciously horrific. Chock-full of suspense and terror. The unexplained always gets me the most. Throw in a musty old building with secret passages, demons, saints, torture, murder, awakenings and escape. Dang, it was alot to take in but overall I'm blissed out. Damaged characters find their peace. Nothing better.
August 11, 2022
There is nothing more rewarding then reading about a broken and abused man finding his way back and getting his revenge! Gabriel's live has been painful and very dark and confusing. Wonderful descriptive world and character building even if some of it is sad to read through! Abaddon is if nothing else that you know for sure, he is a definitely Gabriel's Guardian Angel. This book really does have a lot of twists and turns, darkness and horror so I do not want to give any that actually happens away. Underneath it all is a sweet love story of hope and conquering your demons! I read an arc, and it is a dark journey of romance and redemption you need to take from beginning to end with them! Wonderful descriptive world and character building even if some of it is sad to read through!
August 11, 2022
I don’t even know how to review this book because I am so confused by it. I can see what it was trying to be but amidst all of the scattered details of the actions of the members of the cult, Gabriel and his inner monologue and Abaddon, I felt that it got so so lost. As did I. And there’s only so much suspension of disbelief can achieve, especially in what was a modern, non supernatural setting.
I was certainly thrown by Gabriel’s actions with regard to Abaddon. This ‘angel’ appears from nowhere, begins a murder spree and Gabriel not only falls in love wit him but seems to suffer very little in the way of mental trauma handling the new relationship. It didn’t sit well with me – especially with the flashbacks to what he had been through – and perhaps that it what threw me out of the story over and over again. I also have no idea how Abaddon managed to get around the orphanage without being seen by anyone – the place is full of kids, as well as staff, and no one saw him even once as he walked around.
I will admit, I got the plot twist completely wrong, so that was a nice bit of misdirection, but I’m not sure I care too much about that. I just found this whole thing too confusing for words and can only assume based on other reviews that it is down to me. Perhaps I need to accept that K.A. Merikan just isn’t for me.
I received an ARC from GRR.
I was certainly thrown by Gabriel’s actions with regard to Abaddon. This ‘angel’ appears from nowhere, begins a murder spree and Gabriel not only falls in love wit him but seems to suffer very little in the way of mental trauma handling the new relationship. It didn’t sit well with me – especially with the flashbacks to what he had been through – and perhaps that it what threw me out of the story over and over again. I also have no idea how Abaddon managed to get around the orphanage without being seen by anyone – the place is full of kids, as well as staff, and no one saw him even once as he walked around.
I will admit, I got the plot twist completely wrong, so that was a nice bit of misdirection, but I’m not sure I care too much about that. I just found this whole thing too confusing for words and can only assume based on other reviews that it is down to me. Perhaps I need to accept that K.A. Merikan just isn’t for me.
I received an ARC from GRR.
December 29, 2022
2.5⭐️for the book 5⭐️for me for finishing. Took me ages although I owned the audiobook as well… dunno what to say
January 4, 2023
DNF @ 40%.
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October 29, 2022
My Angel
What do you get when you have a a cult trying to bring about a demon? Your gonna have to read to find out an I’ll tell you this….these ladies once again have captured my attention and imagination. The HEA is so beautiful with what the MCs had to endure. Chefs kiss👩🍳 👩🍳
What do you get when you have a a cult trying to bring about a demon? Your gonna have to read to find out an I’ll tell you this….these ladies once again have captured my attention and imagination. The HEA is so beautiful with what the MCs had to endure. Chefs kiss👩🍳 👩🍳
August 15, 2022
Loved it🖤
"Going crazy had never felt so good. In fact, in the angel’s presence, everything felt more real."🖤
This book was a fantastic one sitting read. The thrilling story pucks up with a chilling set up as Gabriel is introduced. The reader is led quietly into the horror show of his life. While observing the young man be gullible, naive and susceptible to extreme manipulation, Abbadon cuts into his life abruptly lifting the veil on all the lies Gabriel had been fed all his life.🖤
This story had intense dark themes that simply gripped my imagination, the book read in a very vivid visual way, that simply gave me chills as some scenes were just crazy.🖤
Gabriel is someone so broken and dehumanised by his tormentors that he had no idea what is real or not anymore. He floats in between sanity and the hope that his nightmares are not really true memories of the past. His tortured soul, his lonely life and his isolation are chipping away at his spirit and health. He is simply existing. My heart broke for him over and over again and I was hoping he will get his revenge, and take back control of his life.🖤
When Abaddon entered his miserable existence, the angel of vengeance took charge of writing all the wrongs Gabriel had suffered. They share instant undeniable chemistry, illuminating the darkness Gabriel has been stumbling through all his life like an inferno. This overwhelming emotional connection they share, brings old memories to the surface and opens his eyes not only to the past, but to his current predicament and the possibilities of the future. 🖤
But before Gabriel can dream of a life free of horror and shadows, The Keys must perish...
Thriller, suspense, themes of the occult, crimes, cats, star crossed lovers, angels and demons, casual murder spree, first times, date nights, desert loving boys.🖤
Loved it! 🖤
"Going crazy had never felt so good. In fact, in the angel’s presence, everything felt more real."🖤
This book was a fantastic one sitting read. The thrilling story pucks up with a chilling set up as Gabriel is introduced. The reader is led quietly into the horror show of his life. While observing the young man be gullible, naive and susceptible to extreme manipulation, Abbadon cuts into his life abruptly lifting the veil on all the lies Gabriel had been fed all his life.🖤
This story had intense dark themes that simply gripped my imagination, the book read in a very vivid visual way, that simply gave me chills as some scenes were just crazy.🖤
Gabriel is someone so broken and dehumanised by his tormentors that he had no idea what is real or not anymore. He floats in between sanity and the hope that his nightmares are not really true memories of the past. His tortured soul, his lonely life and his isolation are chipping away at his spirit and health. He is simply existing. My heart broke for him over and over again and I was hoping he will get his revenge, and take back control of his life.🖤
When Abaddon entered his miserable existence, the angel of vengeance took charge of writing all the wrongs Gabriel had suffered. They share instant undeniable chemistry, illuminating the darkness Gabriel has been stumbling through all his life like an inferno. This overwhelming emotional connection they share, brings old memories to the surface and opens his eyes not only to the past, but to his current predicament and the possibilities of the future. 🖤
But before Gabriel can dream of a life free of horror and shadows, The Keys must perish...
Thriller, suspense, themes of the occult, crimes, cats, star crossed lovers, angels and demons, casual murder spree, first times, date nights, desert loving boys.🖤
Loved it! 🖤
May 21, 2024
DNF @ 40%
I think I didn’t have the right expectations for this book and I’m really bored at this point. The beginning was great and I was immediately hooked, then it fell flat and hasn’t picked up again. Maybe I’ll revisit this in the future because I do like Gabriel. However, Abbadon just doesn’t do it for me. Something about him throws me off and I’m not sure what it is.
I think I didn’t have the right expectations for this book and I’m really bored at this point. The beginning was great and I was immediately hooked, then it fell flat and hasn’t picked up again. Maybe I’ll revisit this in the future because I do like Gabriel. However, Abbadon just doesn’t do it for me. Something about him throws me off and I’m not sure what it is.
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