Inward Apocalypse: Uncovering a Faith for the Common Good

by Anna Elisabeth Howard

“I wish I could still believe in God, but I can’t be a Christian anymore because of ______” Fill-in-the-blank with racism, misogyny, homophobia, toxic capitalism, and so on. I’ve had this conversation with different people almost word-for-word over and over. White American Christianity has so defined God that many people cannot separate God from the toxic theology they were taught.

But this isn’t the God I see in the Bible. The Bible shows us a God meeting people where they are and nudging them towards justice and total thriving for all: shalom. The Bible details arcs of justice and societal reform. If we understand how radical those arcs were in the context of the day, we can extend them forward into the future and figure out how to work for justice, total thriving, and societal reformation in our day.

I grew up in that first world view. Come along, and I’ll tell you the story of how I escaped, and I’ll show you a theology that I believe paints a more accurate picture: a faith for the common good where everyone thrives and no one is left out.

208 pages, Paperback

Published August 15, 2022

About the author

Anna Elisabeth Howard writes highly caffeinated takes on shalom as a lens for everything from her front porch in Hendersonville, TN where she lives with her husband and two sons and a small menagerie of critters. She is a community organizer and movement chaplain with a background in youth and family ministry and is a graduate of Fuller Theological Seminary. An avid hiker and backpacker, many thoughts start somewhere in the middle of the woods, or under a waterfall.

Reviews

[Tranyce Bryant · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so life changing! In each chapter, I was moved by the ongoing compassion and empathy Anna provides in her storytelling through experiences and history. Anyone who's battled any "ugly" in this world understands how hard it is to see the potential for better at times. I feel seen, heard and encouraged to live as I'm designed without question. More importantly, I feel embraced for participating in the spiritual fight for others to be able to do the same one day. I would advice anyone to read this book. Any and everyone can get something from this book.

[Hannah Tucker-Flarity · Rating 4 out of 5]

Howard describes her experience of deconstructing the toxic faith of her formative years through anecdotes and reflections. Those who find ourselves needing to question our faith may recognize ourselves in these pages and feel welcomed to ask our own questions, consider our own story.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reading "Inward Apocalypse" was like chatting with the author over a cup of coffee. Having grown up in a southern Baptist church, I found her experiences in fundamentalist, patriarchal churches relatable, and through her sharing of her stories, I found comfort in the fact that I wasn't alone in questioning those roots and shedding those layers of rules. Anna will inspire you to reexamine what it really means to love our neighbors, to not trim "off the interesting edges of [ourselves] in order to fit the box," and to strive to make our world better, one small step at a time.

[Jen Yamin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This journey of redefining & seeking faith is well-written & a "can't put down" read. The author puts into words what many of us feel about the toxicity of hijacked Christianity. Ms. Howard has an amazing knack of interspersing levity with clarity, which makes this book relatable.

[Cathy Watts · Rating 5 out of 5]

There's Still Hope

One of the reasons I've strayed from the church is because Christians don't behave the way that I think Jesus would approve. It was refreshing to see the author find a way to question her religious teachings and find a way to coexist with her church. As a Liberal Democrat, I haven't felt that there was a place for me in the church. But the author has succeeded in fitting in her Episcopal church. I wasn't raised in church, and have always felt uncomfortable and out of place when the bible is discussed. Ms Howard didn't make me feel that way when she explained bible passages. I really enjoyed her stories and was able to relate to many of them. I wish I could find her church; maybe I would try again. If you have been disillusioned by church this book is for you.

[Felicia Melian · Rating 5 out of 5]

In Inward Apocalypse, Anna Howard defines pilgrimage as “committing to something consistently that helps you get outside your own worldview” and that’s exactly what her book offers its readers! Through genius illustrations and personal stories, Anna details how bad theology is traumatizing and gets people to participate in their own oppression (because if you can’t question God, you question yourself). Much of the book takes place in nature, which makes for a grounding and calming reading experience.

Anna is a trustworthy guide, helping her readers shed theologies that harm and uncover a more expansive faith for the common good. And, if you’re like me, you’ll learn a ton about hiking and plants along the way too!  

[Kellye · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anna's openness in telling her story has helped me reconnect with what I loved about my faith and the Bible in a way I didn't think would be possible.
I quit going to church twenty years ago after seeing some of the usual "religious" behavior that turns so many others away. I still felt tied to the teachings of Jesus, but I couldn't reconcile what I was seeing in, and coming out of, churches. In her book, Anna points us back to who Jesus really was. He instructs us on how to be compassionate to everyone and not just those who look like us or have the same faith as us.
And this book speaks to so much more. I think it has something for anyone looking to be re-inspired to do good works.
Some of my favorite quotes:
"When we do not fight for the liberation of others, we not only contribute to the systems of injustice, we also chain ourselves."
"We do what we can, and then we rest. The work is bigger than we are and cannot be accomplished alone. Each of us must commit to doing our part, to practice ordinary goodness each day."
"How do we love other people as complex, broken, amazing individuals if we don't see ourselves as complex, broken, and amazing individuals?"

[Claire · Rating 5 out of 5]

“We can undertake a life of pilgrimage, become thru-hikers through our world and our stories, and rediscover the wild spirit we all came into this world with. “

The openness with which the author presents her faith pilgrimage is such a refreshing and encouraging read. If you have ever felt nervous to unpack your own past or ask questions about your own faith foundations, this book is for you. I loved her gentle progression through the stages of her own journey, using her exploration of nature and hiking as a path for the reader themselves to follow.

I especially found myself relating to her experiences as a woman and mother in a world that has established such strong boundaries and definitions for such roles as these. The author bravely stands up to these preconceptions and in turn gives the reader the chance to take a breath and explore their own feelings and beliefs. She nudges us to really know ourselves and by doing so, we gain the ability to embrace and know others.

“…we should contribute more healing than breaking, more wholeness than fragments. And we do that by embracing the whole of ourselves. “

[Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

"All of us are indigenous somewhere." We just have to find where. That's the process of going from alien to native, from foreigner to friend. And this book reminds me that the journey is worth taking. The work is worth doing. Inward Apocalypse questions our assumptions and perspectives over and over in a way that feels thoughtful and supportive rather than aggressive or antagonistic.

My favorite life calling is to be what Madeleine L'Engle calls 'a Namer,' one who identifies people for who they are and what is in them, coming alongside them to call out the vocation they are set apart for. Anna's book is all about that: giving people a framework to ask different questions about who they are and what that means and what they are called to do about it. And I love how the book acknowledges what it means to be Named for Christ; if we call ourselves Christians that means we bind ourselves to Him who is Grace and Truth.

That's a radically different thing than most people conceive about a Christian faith. (at least a Western church one.)

I think my favorite part of this book is its readability; the way Anna tells the stories helps you see yourself in your own. Each section feels like a journey, or its own little parable that you can read and chew on for a LONG time. It's super accessible, and her hiking and pilgrimage metaphor is a poignant one - it's about the journey even more than the destination, but it's actually a journey back home... and it starts with a single step.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inward Apocalypse follows Anna’s journey from growing up in the kind of Christianity that has always pushed me - and lots of people - away, to a person who has reclaimed her faith in God and justice. She has had hard internal and external conversations and experiences, and gone back to the source. Her book is eye opening and hopeful. This is not a journey I've had to face because I've never considered myself a very religious person (sometimes agnostic at best). But I loved reading her story, her growth, and both the explanations and distinct differences of what I consider the "religion" that takes headlines, and the kind of faith I (sometimes) want to pursue, as she did. It was heartening to read, and absolutely left me with hope throughout and in closing. I bookmarked so many passages, and this one continues to give hope in hard times, “We do what we can, and then we rest. The work is bigger than we are, and cannot be accomplished alone. Each of us must commit to do our part, to practice ordinary goodness each day.”

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book gave me hope in a faith tradition that is full of muck on the surface, and brought me closer to a loving good God.
I love how Anna is honest about the toxicity of American Christianity, but rather than condemning God and the Church, she reminded me of who God really is. God is present in pain, and pain is not a sign of condemnation, God elevates the voice of women and all genders, God is on the side of those oppressed, God is available and approachable, God calls us to creation care: God is good.

When “deconstruction” is almost a new phase everyone goes through as they process the latest scandal of American Christianity, this book reminded me why I’m still holding on to Christ as a timely call deeper into my faith. For those forging their path through the uncertainty of reconstruction, this book is like blazes marking a trail. Her stories are relatable and vulnerable, she doesn't pull punches, she offers equally compelling hope.

[Karen McVey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anna gives us a sharp, insightful look at what has become a common theme - deconstructing from an “absolute knowledge” that we were told was certain, into a faith that is open to questions, to challenge, and to growing. Her ability to walk us through her journey to make sense out of Truth is honest and heartbreaking, touching and wonderful. It is refreshing to watch someone struggle and wrestle with Faith and God and all that comes with it, and come out on the other side, still believing, but with a healthier and more holistic belief system and a worldview that includes justice and consideration for those on the margins. Deconstruction does not have to end in unbelief. Anna shows that in asking the hard questions, and not being afraid to wrestle with the harder answers, that our faith can become larger and stronger than we ever imagined. Highly recommended.

[Tiffiney McKee · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you have found yourself struggling with your faith because you love Jesus but feel you have no place in conservative Christianity, this book is for you. Through her personal stories and observations about nature, Anna Howard explores the toxic traits of American Christianity and how we do not need to abandon Jesus in the process of freeing ourselves from certain beliefs that are not at all from God and only serve to oppress ourselves and others. I found myself relating, learning, and being prompted to ponder new ways to view my faith. This book is not a dry theology book but rather one rich in imagery and beautifully written.

[Robert Travis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I enjoyed the candor and authenticity of the author's experience if Christianity. She explores both the toxic parts of the American Church that harmed her, especially in it's evangelical and mega-church expressions, and ways to heal without rejecting the faith. Her personal stories throughout the book are relatable and make for a direct life-application of the theological conclusions she draws. The poetry throughout is beautiful and deepens the reader's personal reflection. She offers hope for the Christians who know that the Gospel is based in love, especially for those who are marginalized by society, that there can be an authentic and life-giving faith in 21st century Christianity.

[Holly Zaher · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author has a gift of finding a turn of phrase that pulls everything into focus. She packs theology neatly but densely through her own story which allows both for rich reading and reflection, providing an "Inward Apocalypse" for the reader.