Stand Up for Yourself and Your Friends: Dealing with Bullies and Bossiness and Finding a Better Way

American Girl Library

by Patti Kelley Criswell

This book teaches girls how to spot bullying and how to stand up and speak out against it. Quizzes, quotes from other girls, and "what do you do?" scenarios present advice in an age-appropriate, digestible way. The message in this book is that there is no one right way to deal with bullying. Instead, there are lots of options for girls to try, from ignoring a bully and trying a few clever comebacks to reporting bullying to a trusted adult. Readers learn how to stand up for others and be a good friend, too. The book ends with a pledge girls can sign, plus tear-out tips for girls to share with their parents.

Genres: Childrens, Parenting, Self Help, Nonfiction, Friendship, Middle Grade

61 pages, Paperback

First published December 29, 2008

Reviews

[Mikayla Brehm · Rating 5 out of 5]

So empowering❤️‍🩹

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

I have been using this book for a few weeks to teach our weekly family lessons. I didn't have to do much advance preparation because I could read the book as-is since it is written to their level of understanding. The genius is in the conversational format, complete with talking points, quizzes, and real-life examples. My girls (9 and 7) soaked it all in and eagerly discussed each topic.

I love that this book naturally provided a springboard for important conversations that we needed to have with our girls about friendship, bullying, and problem-solving.

I know that reading this doesn't guarantee that my girls won't be on the giving or receiving end of bullying, but I am confident that they are now more aware and more prepared to handle difficult social situations. This will be an ongoing conversation, which is bound to only get more complicated as my girls get older.

[Karin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Kiddo found this super engaging. she weighed in on the hypothetical scenarios, answered any/all questions posed, and quickly drew comparisons to her life experiences and relationships.

[Back · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved!!! Great examples on how to buold self confidence! Wonderful for ages 8+

[Nichole · Rating 3 out of 5]

Pretty decent advice. A little outdated, but not too bad.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought a copy of this book for my granddaughter who is in fifth grade. I took the opportunity to read it myself before I give it to her. I’m impressed! The book is not overly long, but it has several promising suggestions for how to deal with bullies. It also honestly acknowledges that not every tactic will work in every situation.

The book has three sections: “What’s Bullying?“, “Standing Up for Yourself,“ and “Standing Up for Others.” Each section has a quiz included. My favorite was “What’s Your Speak-Up Style?“ I think the quiz serves as a fun and clever way to illustrate different examples of how girls could respond to bullying.

Also included are stories from girls who either stood up to a bully or stood up for a friend. The peer testimonials are a comforting reminder that the reader is not alone and others have found ways to successfully deal with bullying behavior.

The book certainly offers plenty of food-for-thought, and I believe it offers quality information in a short, easy-to-read book. I feel good about sharing this with my granddaughter. I think it will be helpful to her.

[Stefanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was such a great book! I read it with my daughter this year before school. She has problems with other kids sometimes, and it's hard for me to tell if she has a tendency to bully or if she is targeted by bullies. She lashes out in anger, but it's often because she is being mistreated by another kid. She *knows* to use her words, but she has a hard time doing it. Either way, this book really helped her have some good options for dealing with a kid who was being mean, and we also talked about being more thoughtful about how *we* behave towards others. I could see her little brain working while we were reading, and I know there were times where she was convicted. She really enjoyed this book, and asked to read it every night. (We read it little by little, over a week or so.) I wish that every kid would read this book!

[Kim Neeser · Rating 5 out of 5]

The quizzes brought out points of view I didn't know my daughter (8) had. Both my girls (7 & 8) were super engaged and wanted to offer their own opinion on the different scenarios, and opened up conversations we needed to have. Gave tips to combat some antagonizing behaviors and why siding with the bully makes you the bully too. Wish we would have read it about at the beginning of the year, highly recommend reading to your young girls before they start navigating friendships on their own.

[JuliA · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book to open up the conversation with children about bullying and difficult friendships.

Everything - from recognising bad behaviour, how to deal with it and how to be an ally to other children being singled out - is being explained and presented in a way that appeals to the age group (8-12), but also adults.
Complemented with real life experiences, narrated by children, that kids can identify with.

This book is a gem.

[Wuhbet]

This book teaches us about bullying, and it teaches us how to stand up for ourselves whether it is cyberbullying bullying or in real life. This book helps those who get bullied or who bullys other people the person who bullys the person might have its own problems and just trying to pass it on to the person their bullying.

The book give us quiz so that we can answer them if its bullying or not. It also tells us how to stand up for ourselves if we become the target.

[Dax · Rating 3 out of 5]

Tests the reader on what is and is not bullying and explains why it was categorized as such. Gives great language on how to address bullying and how to realize what you're doing is bullying. It's a great starter book.

[RJ's Fire Device · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked it

I loved this book! It teached me how to actually stop me from getting bullied, "Stand up for yourself", Reminds me of when I was a shy girl at school and got bullied a LOT, I didn't know what to do but luckily I told my friends what happened!

[Ian McHugh · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very useful and important book to facilitate conversations with young people about bullying. The focus on resolution is an very good one. Perhaps a little advanced for a seven-year-old but excellent for sparking discussion.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked this up at the Goodwill and I am so thankful I did. My daughter has been having friendship troubles and this book was so helpful in talking her through various issues. The examples from other girls really resignated with her and the book really hit key issues young girls face.

[Shenika Daley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book
😃

[Erin Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this to my girls, and it sparked some good conversations.

[Cynthia · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is excellent! Where was this in the 1970s and 80s when I needed it. But nevertheless I am so glad to have this as a resource in my library

[Annabelle Kocher · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s good

[Mary Ann · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book uses many similar features as "Friends: Making Them and Keeping Them" (also by Criswell) - quizzes, true stories, short pieces of advice - but it delves into more difficult issues. Many girls need help dealing with bullies and bossiness throughout their elementary school years. They need to deal with friends who talk behind their backs, or classmates who tease them. Maybe they have a friend who's warm and kind one day, and the next turns a cold shoulder. These aren't easy waters to navigate alone. As Criswell writes in the introduction,

"There's no one right way to handle bullying. That's why this book gives you lots of tips to try, such as clever comebacks. ways to ignore someone who bullies, and ways to get help from an adult you trust. You'll find advice from girls who have been there, and you'll learn how to stand up for other people, too, when they need it most. We can all do our part to make the world a kinder, safer place." (p. 3)

My daughter is quite soft-spoken at school (not at home!) and she was dealing with a difficult situation at school one year. This book helped her understand the hurtful words another girl was saying and name the behavior; it also helped her find some words and actions she could take to stop the bullying. Best of all, it helped her see that she didn't just need to absorb these hurtful words - she could and should stand up for herself.

[Lizzie · Rating 5 out of 5]

it was good!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Caroline Ryan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a must-read for any girl in her pre-teens or early teens who needs support, suggestions, and positive ways to deal with the bullying, bossiness and exclusivity that millions of girls deal with every day at school, in their neighborhood and online -- from other girls.

I was impressed that the book is not just prescriptive. It's highly interactive, with multiple choice questions, a variety of scenarios and positive, practical suggestions for feeling great about yourself when you're not in school -- taking every opportunity to build up the young reader's self-esteem.

The layout and illustrations make the book relatable, fun and easy for young girls to read or skim through. The narrative also offers opportunities for young girls to examine their own actions and beliefs, so they can become aware if they're falling into bullying/exclusivity or bossiness themselves at times.

This is the sort of positive, proactive interaction girls need, particularly in late elementary school/middle school/junior high -- a particularly painful time, socially, for many.

I heartily recommend "Stand Up for Yourself" to young girls and their adult family members.

[Sheri · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where, oh WHERE was this book when I was dealing with all my friend problems in 7th grade?? It truly would have helped tremendously! My 7-year-old is a big softie, just like her mom. I'm afraid that she is going to get walked all over by her friends, just like I did! So I bought this book hoping it might help. I will say that the book is a little old for her. I think it is more geared toward maybe ages 10 and up; but it really had some great advice! I was very impressed with the ideas and suggestions that were given for numerous situations. Such a great self-help book for girls who are struggling with bullies or trying to help a friend in need.

[Kaycie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stand up for Yourself and your Friends is a catalogue all about how girls can identify bullying, and how they can handle it when bullying happens. The main point of the book is not to find a solution to bullying, but instead to find solutions to handling bullying when it happens in life. I chose this source because there are several forms Martini uses to get the information across whether that is through quizzes, scenarios, quotes, or by using an anti-bullying pledge for the girls to sign and follow at the end of the book. Overall, this book can enhance my knowledge by learning and teaching practical ways to learn and handle bullying.

[Samantha Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

I liked this book because it made me feel sure of myself. I learned some helpful tips to stand up for myself and my freinds. This book contained good ideas 2 quizzes and other cool stuff. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF... was an interesting book because there was also advice from other girls who had faced problem with bullies, a pledge you can sign, and a rip-out mini-book for parents.This book was really cool!!!!!!!!

[Tiffany · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a must read for every mother and daughter to share together! It clearly explains, in an age appropriate manner, what bullying is. It also gives constructive suggestions to help girls feel empowered to stand up for themselves. This is a keeper that we will be referring back to and recommending to all of our friends.

[A · Rating 4 out of 5]

Useful book that helps girls identify bullying and solutions to the problem. The content was excellent, but the functionality of the ebook seriously detracted from the content. The book presents one page section at a time to try to make the self quizzes interactive, but it also makes navigation of the whole book a very choppy disconnected read. Stick with the print for this title.

[Lacey Louwagie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I'd had this book when I was younger. Although it's short, it covers a remarkable array of angles when it comes to bullying, from different ways to respond to distinguishing the difference between bullying and the etiquette mistakes we all make from time to time. An empowering resource that I'd be happy to recommend to any girl.

[Maria Connor · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a GREAT book for parents and daughters. Great practical tips to role play and discuss. Avery and I have been finding excellent ways to handle some of the situations with not-so-nice girls that she goes to school with.

[Michele · Rating 5 out of 5]

A terrific book for parents and daughters to read together, this give practical advice and actionable suggestions that kids will feel comfortable doing. It also talks about how to avoid becoming a bully, even unwittingly.

[Melinda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic little nugget of a book for any elementary school girl. Great tips on how to handle conflict and mean kids. Also, how to not be mean yourself and say kind but truthful things. This is a must for girls! Great role playing, great suggestions.