What do you think?
Rate this book
Toxic
Llewella has straight-A grades, a lead in the school play, a prefect badge, a successful blog and a comfortable life. Despite this, she feels like a brown, chubby square peg at a school full of thin, white girls. She's never had a best friend. Could the new student at sixth form - glamorous, streetwise Aretha - be the one? Llewella and Aretha get tight, quick. Before long, Llewella is following a diet Aretha has designed for her and has abandoned her own passions to dive headfirst into Aretha's world. She's determined to be the most loyal, greatest friend she can be, even when Aretha says and does things which make her feel the opposite of great. Even when the anxiety disorder she thought was cured starts to re-emerge. Isn't that how friendships work?
245 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 7, 2022
5 people are currently reading
129 people want to read
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews
July 7, 2022
*Thank you to the publisher for sending me a copy of this book to review!*
If you’re looking for a quick and easy ya contemporary to read full of drama, shakespeare and growing out of a toxic friendship, this is the perfect read. I definitely feel like I would have loved this more as a younger reader, but I did overall enjoy it, it kept me entertained and it had a plot with a worthwhile message.
Toxic had a protagonist at its heart that you can’t help but root for. It was quite a sad coming of age story, but the way the story panned out in the end had it all come full circle and I was satisfied with the ending. I think mental illness was handled pretty well in this book, though it was quite frustrating at times to see how she was mistreated and left without help repeatedly for so long. It did allow for a whole lot of character development to take place though in its defence, and it was nice to see how Loo came out of it stronger.
The plot was fast moving, but I feel like there was a lot going on without much substance. There were a lot of different elements to the story and Loos life that never fully felt explored and we seemed to flit from topic to topic quite erratically without ever reaching satisfying conclusions to many things which is a shame. Some of it also felt a little bit far fetched and dramatic, but that did add to the tense nature of the narrative.
I will say that this is a much darker book than it looks outwardly, with some deep and triggering content that comes somewhat without warning. Though there is a slight warning inside the book, I don’t think it adequately portrays how vivid and explicit some of the content was. Seeing different aspects of mental illness written so truthfully was great, but sometimes it felt a bit heavy to digest all in one go and it was a little messy.
The name ‘Toxic’ sums up this book perfectly as that what the ‘antagonist’ of this book really was. She was quite an awful person and I will admit I hate the fact that this ended up being pinned on the fact she had a mental illness, I thought that was a cheap cop out and quite stigmatising. Nevertheless, it did show quite plainly signs of a terrible friend and could be quite eye opening to younger people stuck in similar dynamics who don’t quite realise how terrible things happening to them could be.
Overall a good concept and fine writing and pacing, just some things I didn’t overly enjoy and I felt could’ve been a little bit better handled.
If you’re looking for a quick and easy ya contemporary to read full of drama, shakespeare and growing out of a toxic friendship, this is the perfect read. I definitely feel like I would have loved this more as a younger reader, but I did overall enjoy it, it kept me entertained and it had a plot with a worthwhile message.
Toxic had a protagonist at its heart that you can’t help but root for. It was quite a sad coming of age story, but the way the story panned out in the end had it all come full circle and I was satisfied with the ending. I think mental illness was handled pretty well in this book, though it was quite frustrating at times to see how she was mistreated and left without help repeatedly for so long. It did allow for a whole lot of character development to take place though in its defence, and it was nice to see how Loo came out of it stronger.
The plot was fast moving, but I feel like there was a lot going on without much substance. There were a lot of different elements to the story and Loos life that never fully felt explored and we seemed to flit from topic to topic quite erratically without ever reaching satisfying conclusions to many things which is a shame. Some of it also felt a little bit far fetched and dramatic, but that did add to the tense nature of the narrative.
I will say that this is a much darker book than it looks outwardly, with some deep and triggering content that comes somewhat without warning. Though there is a slight warning inside the book, I don’t think it adequately portrays how vivid and explicit some of the content was. Seeing different aspects of mental illness written so truthfully was great, but sometimes it felt a bit heavy to digest all in one go and it was a little messy.
The name ‘Toxic’ sums up this book perfectly as that what the ‘antagonist’ of this book really was. She was quite an awful person and I will admit I hate the fact that this ended up being pinned on the fact she had a mental illness, I thought that was a cheap cop out and quite stigmatising. Nevertheless, it did show quite plainly signs of a terrible friend and could be quite eye opening to younger people stuck in similar dynamics who don’t quite realise how terrible things happening to them could be.
Overall a good concept and fine writing and pacing, just some things I didn’t overly enjoy and I felt could’ve been a little bit better handled.
July 21, 2022
For myself personally this novel wasn’t for me, maybe it was because of the tread of being a teenager and all of the stress even if you didn’t have it the worst as some others have. This novel yes is aimed towards younger people however I feel it should be aimed at those that are adults more so as there are some triggers and it could encourage people to self harm. It is toI can indeed and can be difficult to read as it isn’t a completely positive novel.
Also on GoodReads this novel comes up as two different surnames so please be consistent if you are going to write a novel!
Also on GoodReads this novel comes up as two different surnames so please be consistent if you are going to write a novel!
July 9, 2022
This is the first book I’ve read by Natasha but it certainly won’t be the last. I am hoping this becomes a series as I absolutely loved Llewella. I wanted to hug her but also wanted to shout at her at the choices she makes. Even though it’s classed as young adult I think adults will relate to the issues going on and the way Natasha dealt with the issues with sensitivity was heartfelt. I wanted to throw my kindle as I really hated Aretha and the way she treated Llewella was shocking and made me want to scream when she kept making excuses for her. That’s anxiety for you it’s horrible thing to live with. I don’t have it but know people who do. Can’t wait to read more from Natasha
Thanks goes to net galley, the publishers for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review. And also thanks goes to Natasha for writing it.
Thanks goes to net galley, the publishers for providing me with a copy in exchange for an honest review. And also thanks goes to Natasha for writing it.
April 9, 2022
This was one of those books I just couldn’t stop reading. I devoured it in two days, even reading until 5am because I just had to finish it.
This book tells the story of Llewella and her new friend, Aretha. And right from the start, we can see that Aretha is a toxic, manipulative friend. I love stories that look at twisted relationships, and I think this is now one of my favourite books about manipulative and toxic female friendships (my other favourite is Genuine Fraud by E. Lockhart).
The friendship portrayed in Toxic is so one-sided, and so many times I just wanted to scream at Llewella to get away from Aretha.
Llewella has anxiety and panic attacks. Aretha pretends she’s good with these, but she’s not. She undermines Llewella’s mental health struggles constantly, and then she herself claims to have bipolar, referring to it as a ‘real’ disorder—oh and she isn’t diagnosed and won’t see a doctor. My jaw hit the floor here. It seems Aretha uses her self-diagnosis as a way to excuse what a horrible person she’s being. She emotionally abused Llewella constantly and it’s so obvious to readers. I was screaming inside as I read this. I don’t think I’ve ever hated a character as much as I hate Aretha. she calls Llewella fat and gives her a meal plan. Llewella spirals into eating disorder territory because of this, but it’s Aretha doing her a favour, ‘improving’ her. Aretha takes over the blog that Llewella started and then makes her start a new brand with her. Llewella’s money goes into it, of course. Aretha wants Llewella to be dependent on her, but then she abandons her at several points, one time in London zone 1, despite Aretha having panic attacks.
Aretha makes it clear she thinks mental illness is a conspiracy, that it’s something that means the person isn’t strong or resilient. She uses Llewella’s anxiety against her, so when we do get Aretha saying she thinks she is bipolar, that was immensely interesting. Because, she could have bipolar disorder. But still that doesn’t excuse her treatment of her supposed best friend.
Half the time, Aretha is suddenly annoyed with Llewella for no apparent reason, making Llewella’s anxiety much worse. And it amazed me how whenever Aretha was mean to Llewella and Llewella tackled her about it, Aretha turned it round. Seconds later, Llewella was justifying Aretha’s reaction and blaming herself. Classic gaslighting.
This is the kind of relationship you see in abusive romantic relationships, and those are covered in books a lot. But this is the first time I’ve seen it done in friendship. And we need this book.
I really liked how Llewella has a supportive network of women (and her grandfather) around her. These women give her the strength to end the brand with Aretha and gain back some of her happiness.
Huge thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC. This is highly recommending reading and I think it should actually be compulsory reading for teenagers in schools.
This book tells the story of Llewella and her new friend, Aretha. And right from the start, we can see that Aretha is a toxic, manipulative friend. I love stories that look at twisted relationships, and I think this is now one of my favourite books about manipulative and toxic female friendships (my other favourite is Genuine Fraud by E. Lockhart).
The friendship portrayed in Toxic is so one-sided, and so many times I just wanted to scream at Llewella to get away from Aretha.
Llewella has anxiety and panic attacks. Aretha pretends she’s good with these, but she’s not. She undermines Llewella’s mental health struggles constantly, and then she herself claims to have bipolar, referring to it as a ‘real’ disorder—oh and she isn’t diagnosed and won’t see a doctor. My jaw hit the floor here. It seems Aretha uses her self-diagnosis as a way to excuse what a horrible person she’s being. She emotionally abused Llewella constantly and it’s so obvious to readers. I was screaming inside as I read this. I don’t think I’ve ever hated a character as much as I hate Aretha. she calls Llewella fat and gives her a meal plan. Llewella spirals into eating disorder territory because of this, but it’s Aretha doing her a favour, ‘improving’ her. Aretha takes over the blog that Llewella started and then makes her start a new brand with her. Llewella’s money goes into it, of course. Aretha wants Llewella to be dependent on her, but then she abandons her at several points, one time in London zone 1, despite Aretha having panic attacks.
Aretha makes it clear she thinks mental illness is a conspiracy, that it’s something that means the person isn’t strong or resilient. She uses Llewella’s anxiety against her, so when we do get Aretha saying she thinks she is bipolar, that was immensely interesting. Because, she could have bipolar disorder. But still that doesn’t excuse her treatment of her supposed best friend.
Half the time, Aretha is suddenly annoyed with Llewella for no apparent reason, making Llewella’s anxiety much worse. And it amazed me how whenever Aretha was mean to Llewella and Llewella tackled her about it, Aretha turned it round. Seconds later, Llewella was justifying Aretha’s reaction and blaming herself. Classic gaslighting.
This is the kind of relationship you see in abusive romantic relationships, and those are covered in books a lot. But this is the first time I’ve seen it done in friendship. And we need this book.
I really liked how Llewella has a supportive network of women (and her grandfather) around her. These women give her the strength to end the brand with Aretha and gain back some of her happiness.
Huge thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the ARC. This is highly recommending reading and I think it should actually be compulsory reading for teenagers in schools.
May 20, 2022
I'd like to think life was easier for me when I was a teenager but really... it wasn't much different from llewella's story. Teens... especially girls can be so b*tchy it's unreal.
I was initially drawn to this book because I suffer with anxiety and always have done so I was curious to see how mental health was going to be portrayed. The author did it complete justice and the topics covered are quite sensitive but so so relatable!
It covered coping with mental health and being able to manage it well but also with relapse which I believe is super important because most of us with long-term mental health generally relapse at one point or another and need support to get out of the hole again so.to speak.
I cant say too much more without slipping in spoilers but the characters are really well developed and they really show us what its like living as a teenage girl in today's world.
For anyone that has a teenager I definitely think it's worth getting them to read it. Overall enjoyable for everyone though. I highly recommend it 👌
I was initially drawn to this book because I suffer with anxiety and always have done so I was curious to see how mental health was going to be portrayed. The author did it complete justice and the topics covered are quite sensitive but so so relatable!
It covered coping with mental health and being able to manage it well but also with relapse which I believe is super important because most of us with long-term mental health generally relapse at one point or another and need support to get out of the hole again so.to speak.
I cant say too much more without slipping in spoilers but the characters are really well developed and they really show us what its like living as a teenage girl in today's world.
For anyone that has a teenager I definitely think it's worth getting them to read it. Overall enjoyable for everyone though. I highly recommend it 👌
July 21, 2022
This story follows Llewella (Loo) and Aretha; the former is a successful blogger and straight Grade A student, yet she has never had a best friend. Aretha, the new student in the sixth form at St Edith's High School for Girls in Chiddingwell, suburban Surrey, southern England, is confident, from London and seemingly enjoys a glamorous life. Loo sets out to befriend Aretha...
I enjoyed reading this book immensely and experiencing Loo's self-journey through the toxic relationship she had with Aretha. Well worth a look.
I received a complimentary copy of this novel from UCLan Publishing via NetGalley at my request and this review is my own unbiased opinion.
I enjoyed reading this book immensely and experiencing Loo's self-journey through the toxic relationship she had with Aretha. Well worth a look.
I received a complimentary copy of this novel from UCLan Publishing via NetGalley at my request and this review is my own unbiased opinion.
October 10, 2023
My new favourite book 😂 go read it right now
July 5, 2022
Toxic was a great book that featured a toxic friendship and how it can be damaging. The writing was engaging and the plot shared valuable messages. Overall this was a great read and I would recommend it!
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the free e-arc!
Thanks to netgalley and the publisher for the free e-arc!
October 24, 2022
Found myself just rooting for the main character throughout this frustrating story. Moral of the story, rid yourself of toxic relationships, you deserve better!
July 10, 2022
Toxic was a good YA read about the progress of a toxic friendship and its effects on main character and narrator, Llewella (her mum's Welsh, though why she picked "Llewella" as a name over far prettier, equally Welsh alternatives is anybody's guess). It does have the dubious advantage of being able to be shortened to "Loo", handy when you write a blog about public toilets, as she does.
Seventeen-year-old Llewella (I'm sorry, I can't call her Loo) has a lot going for her - she's bright, talented and from a well to do family (she's never met her father, but her single mother has done well for herself - I never quite figured out at what, other than "something in the art world"), but suffers from anxiety and panic attacks. As a mixed race, not-thin girl at a private Surrey girls' school otherwise entirely populated, it seems, by thin blonde girls, she's also never felt she fitted in. When a new girl, Aretha, starts at the school, Llewella is immediately drawn to this apparent fellow outsider, and sets out to befriend her.
Llewella seemed quintessential Gen Z to me. My daughter is a similar age, just slightly younger, and all her opinions are exactly the same (and equally loudly expressed).
It's obvious to the reader, if not to Llewella, that Aretha is a toxic and manipulative individual who's all about herself and has no genuine interest in Llewella's wellbeing, using her and abandoning her as it suits her, and telling multiple self-promoting lies. Aretha clearly has her own issues, but her behaviour is atrocious and has devastating effects on Llewella, damaging her confidence and causing her to lessen herself and turn down opportunities for fear of upsetting Aretha, who can't tolerate anyone else's success. That's never a good sign! The progress of their "friendship" is very well portrayed - it's hard to understand how someone as intelligent as Llewella doesn't get wise to Aretha's behaviour a bit sooner, but I guess she's young and vulnerable.
Llewella's mum seems remarkably hands-off, particularly given her daughter's mental health struggles. She says supportive things from time to time but seems to have little idea what's going on in Llewella's life. I did like the Welsh grandparents.
The story was very readable and although I couldn't really relate that much to Llewella's issues (I'm not in the target demographic, for one thing), she was a sympathetic character and the relationship with Aretha was expertly portrayed. I was never quite sure how much of her awful behaviour was conscious (we see a bit of her family life which suggests she's rarely challenged on anything) - but then we only see her from Llewella's viewpoint.
It did seem to fizzle out a little at the end, but it was a very good read which I'm sure will strike a chord with many readers.
Seventeen-year-old Llewella (I'm sorry, I can't call her Loo) has a lot going for her - she's bright, talented and from a well to do family (she's never met her father, but her single mother has done well for herself - I never quite figured out at what, other than "something in the art world"), but suffers from anxiety and panic attacks. As a mixed race, not-thin girl at a private Surrey girls' school otherwise entirely populated, it seems, by thin blonde girls, she's also never felt she fitted in. When a new girl, Aretha, starts at the school, Llewella is immediately drawn to this apparent fellow outsider, and sets out to befriend her.
Llewella seemed quintessential Gen Z to me. My daughter is a similar age, just slightly younger, and all her opinions are exactly the same (and equally loudly expressed).
It's obvious to the reader, if not to Llewella, that Aretha is a toxic and manipulative individual who's all about herself and has no genuine interest in Llewella's wellbeing, using her and abandoning her as it suits her, and telling multiple self-promoting lies. Aretha clearly has her own issues, but her behaviour is atrocious and has devastating effects on Llewella, damaging her confidence and causing her to lessen herself and turn down opportunities for fear of upsetting Aretha, who can't tolerate anyone else's success. That's never a good sign! The progress of their "friendship" is very well portrayed - it's hard to understand how someone as intelligent as Llewella doesn't get wise to Aretha's behaviour a bit sooner, but I guess she's young and vulnerable.
Llewella's mum seems remarkably hands-off, particularly given her daughter's mental health struggles. She says supportive things from time to time but seems to have little idea what's going on in Llewella's life. I did like the Welsh grandparents.
The story was very readable and although I couldn't really relate that much to Llewella's issues (I'm not in the target demographic, for one thing), she was a sympathetic character and the relationship with Aretha was expertly portrayed. I was never quite sure how much of her awful behaviour was conscious (we see a bit of her family life which suggests she's rarely challenged on anything) - but then we only see her from Llewella's viewpoint.
It did seem to fizzle out a little at the end, but it was a very good read which I'm sure will strike a chord with many readers.
April 24, 2022
Llewella has straight-A grades, a lead in the school play, a prefect badge, a successful blog and a comfortable life. Despite this, she feels like a brown, chubby square peg at a school full of thin, white girls. She's never had a best friend. Could the new student at sixth form - glamorous, streetwise Aretha - be the one? Llewella and Aretha get tight, quick. Before long, Llewella is following a diet Aretha has designed for her and has abandoned her own passions to dive headfirst into Aretha's world. She’s determined to be the most loyal, greatest friend she can be, even when Aretha says and does things which make her feel the opposite of great. Even when the anxiety disorder she thought was cured starts to re-emerge. Isn't that how friendships work?
‘Toxic’ by Natasha Devon makes me so glad I’m not a teenager anymore. Girls can be super mean and I wouldn’t like to be a teenager growing up amidst today’s toxicity. Life seemed so much simpler when I was a teenager. I was drawn to this book for several reasons. I have a teenage daughter and therefore I was curious to take a look into a world that I left behind a long time ago. Furthermore, I love books in which toxic relationships are a theme, yet another one of my guilty reading pleasures. And it was thoroughly enjoyable. Marketed towards young adults, it’s an accessible read for anyone of any age and I will definitely be buying a copy for my daughter when it is released.
I would recommend this to everyone who enjoys a good read and especially those who have teenage daughters - a wonderful insight into the social dilemas and peer pressures facing our kids in the world today.
My thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for providing an arc in exchange for an unbiased review.
June 8, 2022
*Thank you to NetGalley, Natasha Devon and the publisher for providing me with an ARC in exchange for an honest review*
I think a lot of people have dealt with toxic friendships within school/sixth form, and Natasha Devon does an excellent job at portraying how hard they mess with your head, and how it can be even more difficult to end one.
The way Aretha manipulates and plays brain games with Loo in order to get her to do whatever she wants her to is highly reflective to a lot of toxic teenage drama. The character development of Loo throughout is inspirational. It’s extremely relatable and I’m glad there’s a book there on this topic, which could hopefully help other people out of that toxic and unhealthy situation.
I think a lot of people have dealt with toxic friendships within school/sixth form, and Natasha Devon does an excellent job at portraying how hard they mess with your head, and how it can be even more difficult to end one.
The way Aretha manipulates and plays brain games with Loo in order to get her to do whatever she wants her to is highly reflective to a lot of toxic teenage drama. The character development of Loo throughout is inspirational. It’s extremely relatable and I’m glad there’s a book there on this topic, which could hopefully help other people out of that toxic and unhealthy situation.
July 15, 2022
Such an important book. I wish there were books like this when I was a teenager
July 12, 2022
This is a fast-paced and engaging YA contemporary about toxic friendships, mental illness and losing yourself to other people (aka it’s darker that you might expect - take the warnings seriously). Llewella is fairly isolated in her school - she’s sort of friends with Olivia, in the drama club and on the student council - but she doesn’t have anyone she’s really close to. Then the new girl Aretha arrives, and Llewella is captivated. Soon Aretha is the only person she wants to spend time with, and she gives up her successful blog (“Loo Reviews” - reviewing public toilets through the lens of anxiety and OCD) to start a ‘brand’ with Aretha instead, sinking her money, time and mental health into it. Her grades start to suffer, her anxiety is back in full force, and she doesn’t know how to navigate Aretha’s manipulative friendship.
As someone who not only went to an all-girls secondary school in the south east of England, but was a drama kid at said all-girls school, phewww did this book bring back some memories. Toxic is right.
I usually have a ‘three strikes and you’re out’ policy with diet culture, but I let it slide for this book because the diet culture is part of the whole bundle of toxicity (the references to disordered eating behaviours are included in the content warning at the beginning of the book.) The protagonist spends a lot of time thinking about other people’s bodies and comparing them to her own, and there’s also quite a few thoughts about calories although no specific numbers are mentioned. It’s uncomfortable but I think that’s kind of the point - Llewella’s body image issues are a result of the context, and their intensity is entwined with the intensity of her friendship with Aretha.
I really enjoyed the ‘half-Welsh growing up in England’ elements because that was me too, although the Welsh characters talked like they were from the north when they’re from Camarthenshire (having looked it up, the author went to uni in Aberystwyth, so I assume that’s why she didn’t know colloquialisms from the south.) I’ve had all the ‘funny’ comments from English people, and I actually cackled when Maggie Thatcher closing the mines came up. You haven’t really talked to a Welsh person until they’ve called Thatcher a bitch.
Llewella has an endearingly simplistic, teenage understanding of social justice, and there were moments I had to sigh ‘oh honey, that’s not how that works.’ (“women should support other women unconditionally.”) That wasn’t the only relatable bit, as viewed from a little distance - the important lesson that Llewella learned was that you can’t always help people if it means sacrificing yourself in the process - “You might be in a hole right now, but if I jump in with you it doesn’t help either of us.”
While I understand why Aretha’s self-diagnosis of bipolar is used as an explanation for her behaviour - it allows for Llewella’s understanding that her friend is struggling too, but that their friendship is still causing her harm - but it still felt iffy. I’d rather see manipulative behaviour written as manipulative behaviour alone, considering there is still a massive lack of non-stigmatising portrayals of bipolar.
I received a free copy from NetGalley in return for an honest review.
As someone who not only went to an all-girls secondary school in the south east of England, but was a drama kid at said all-girls school, phewww did this book bring back some memories. Toxic is right.
I usually have a ‘three strikes and you’re out’ policy with diet culture, but I let it slide for this book because the diet culture is part of the whole bundle of toxicity (the references to disordered eating behaviours are included in the content warning at the beginning of the book.) The protagonist spends a lot of time thinking about other people’s bodies and comparing them to her own, and there’s also quite a few thoughts about calories although no specific numbers are mentioned. It’s uncomfortable but I think that’s kind of the point - Llewella’s body image issues are a result of the context, and their intensity is entwined with the intensity of her friendship with Aretha.
I really enjoyed the ‘half-Welsh growing up in England’ elements because that was me too, although the Welsh characters talked like they were from the north when they’re from Camarthenshire (having looked it up, the author went to uni in Aberystwyth, so I assume that’s why she didn’t know colloquialisms from the south.) I’ve had all the ‘funny’ comments from English people, and I actually cackled when Maggie Thatcher closing the mines came up. You haven’t really talked to a Welsh person until they’ve called Thatcher a bitch.
Llewella has an endearingly simplistic, teenage understanding of social justice, and there were moments I had to sigh ‘oh honey, that’s not how that works.’ (“women should support other women unconditionally.”) That wasn’t the only relatable bit, as viewed from a little distance - the important lesson that Llewella learned was that you can’t always help people if it means sacrificing yourself in the process - “You might be in a hole right now, but if I jump in with you it doesn’t help either of us.”
While I understand why Aretha’s self-diagnosis of bipolar is used as an explanation for her behaviour - it allows for Llewella’s understanding that her friend is struggling too, but that their friendship is still causing her harm - but it still felt iffy. I’d rather see manipulative behaviour written as manipulative behaviour alone, considering there is still a massive lack of non-stigmatising portrayals of bipolar.
I received a free copy from NetGalley in return for an honest review.
January 3, 2023
Natasha Devon is one of my absolute heroes and when I saw that she had branched out into fiction, I had to give this to read.
I consumed it in just a few days which is a testament to how much I enjoyed it. She did an excellent job of portraying how, as teenagers (and even more learned adults!), we can fall into the trap of placing trust in those that have given us no reason to. She does an amazing job of conveying the human pitfall of seeking validation from the wrong sources due to a multitude of reasons, whether those be trauma, loneliness or simply trying to find our place in the world.
Even as an adult, I could relate to Llewella having lived experience of giving the the benefit of the doubt to too many toxic people because of a need for kinship and validation. As a reader, I was internally screaming at our beautiful souled protagonist to run in the opposite direction but could also understand why she didn't.
Natasha does an excellent job of tackling triggering and complex issues and treating them with the utmost respect. What I also respect is how she veered away from turning Aretha into a total machiavellian villain. Yes, she did inherit many of the manipulative traits that one evokes but she also portrayed her as a complex being who struggled with her own inner demons, without excusing her actions. That moment where Llewella genuinely wished her well in the end was touching. It shows the reader that chosing distance from those that have harmed us does not have to turn to bitterness and redemption could be possible, but it does not have to be a part of the protagonist's journey.
Overall, I really did enjoy this book. My only criticism is that Llewella's narration is, at times, a bit too mature and I was very aware that an adult had written it. There were times when I didn't find it overly believable that somebody that had Llewella's maturity and self awareness would put up with this toxicity. However, writing in this style this is a massive challenge that I face when just attempting to write my own YA fiction (due to being in my 30s! It is hard to get into the mind set of a teenager again having spent so long trying to distance from that nightmare!). It definitely does not take away from the book's heart, it's intention and important message.
I will 100% be recommending this to my secondary school students. A fantastic addition to Miss Carter's classroom YA corner!
I consumed it in just a few days which is a testament to how much I enjoyed it. She did an excellent job of portraying how, as teenagers (and even more learned adults!), we can fall into the trap of placing trust in those that have given us no reason to. She does an amazing job of conveying the human pitfall of seeking validation from the wrong sources due to a multitude of reasons, whether those be trauma, loneliness or simply trying to find our place in the world.
Even as an adult, I could relate to Llewella having lived experience of giving the the benefit of the doubt to too many toxic people because of a need for kinship and validation. As a reader, I was internally screaming at our beautiful souled protagonist to run in the opposite direction but could also understand why she didn't.
Natasha does an excellent job of tackling triggering and complex issues and treating them with the utmost respect. What I also respect is how she veered away from turning Aretha into a total machiavellian villain. Yes, she did inherit many of the manipulative traits that one evokes but she also portrayed her as a complex being who struggled with her own inner demons, without excusing her actions. That moment where Llewella genuinely wished her well in the end was touching. It shows the reader that chosing distance from those that have harmed us does not have to turn to bitterness and redemption could be possible, but it does not have to be a part of the protagonist's journey.
Overall, I really did enjoy this book. My only criticism is that Llewella's narration is, at times, a bit too mature and I was very aware that an adult had written it. There were times when I didn't find it overly believable that somebody that had Llewella's maturity and self awareness would put up with this toxicity. However, writing in this style this is a massive challenge that I face when just attempting to write my own YA fiction (due to being in my 30s! It is hard to get into the mind set of a teenager again having spent so long trying to distance from that nightmare!). It definitely does not take away from the book's heart, it's intention and important message.
I will 100% be recommending this to my secondary school students. A fantastic addition to Miss Carter's classroom YA corner!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 2, 2022
Toxic by natasha devon
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Thank you to netgalley, uclan publishing and natasha devon for the opportunity to read this book.
Let me start with a disclaimer that I do suffer with anxiety, depression and food related issues myself so that will be taken in mind with this review.
With that said my first point in this review is this book gave me anxiety so any fellow suffers bare that in mind when thinking about reading this. In some ways it's good, it's an accurate depiction but it's whether you can handle it that matters.
Given all of that I found loo and her friendship with Aretha extremely relatable. I've had several of those. There's no doubt loo was written well the author paid attention to all the little thought processes someone in that situation would have.
That being said I found the ending disappointing and so I've had to rate it down. It ended the way anyone would want in theory I just wanted more, a bigger show of character development and maybe other people baring witness to that final confrontation.
All in all I've given it a 3, it was okay. Loved the main character and what she represents but it wasn't amazing in a "I must scream about this from the roof" kind of way. i wish we had seen loo interact with her mam more and some of the chapters felt a bit disjointed. As if the story had continued and we just hadn't been told there was just a jump in time.
I received an advance review copy for free, and I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Thank you to netgalley, uclan publishing and natasha devon for the opportunity to read this book.
Let me start with a disclaimer that I do suffer with anxiety, depression and food related issues myself so that will be taken in mind with this review.
With that said my first point in this review is this book gave me anxiety so any fellow suffers bare that in mind when thinking about reading this. In some ways it's good, it's an accurate depiction but it's whether you can handle it that matters.
Given all of that I found loo and her friendship with Aretha extremely relatable. I've had several of those. There's no doubt loo was written well the author paid attention to all the little thought processes someone in that situation would have.
That being said I found the ending disappointing and so I've had to rate it down. It ended the way anyone would want in theory I just wanted more, a bigger show of character development and maybe other people baring witness to that final confrontation.
All in all I've given it a 3, it was okay. Loved the main character and what she represents but it wasn't amazing in a "I must scream about this from the roof" kind of way. i wish we had seen loo interact with her mam more and some of the chapters felt a bit disjointed. As if the story had continued and we just hadn't been told there was just a jump in time.
May 11, 2022
For all books involving mental health and triggering topics, a safe mindset is crucial for your reading experience to be healthy and fun. I read this is two parts. Within the first part i hadn’t been taking the warnings seriously, leaving myself feeling not great and heavily impacted by the seriousness of the topics. So i decided i’d finish the book when i was feeling better! Which is exactly what i did and i’m so glad because it is an insightful portrayal of how toxic relationships manifest and affect mental health. Once i got back into it, i finished in a night.
Some highlights for me were the representation and open conversations regarding real issues of our time, and seeing into the mindset of someone going through a toxic friendship living through the motions of how anxiety makes our thoughts irrational and illogical but still feel frighteningly real. I could relate to so much but still have questions. It was an interesting read that gave me motivation to learn more about psychological factors that play into relationships. Getting to see how others words affirm our fears and turn our own minds against us was really eye opening.
I highly recommend giving this a read! (definitely take content warnings seriously)
Some highlights for me were the representation and open conversations regarding real issues of our time, and seeing into the mindset of someone going through a toxic friendship living through the motions of how anxiety makes our thoughts irrational and illogical but still feel frighteningly real. I could relate to so much but still have questions. It was an interesting read that gave me motivation to learn more about psychological factors that play into relationships. Getting to see how others words affirm our fears and turn our own minds against us was really eye opening.
I highly recommend giving this a read! (definitely take content warnings seriously)
May 30, 2022
NetGalley review
Llewella has always felt different due to her skin colour and body shape in a school full of thin white girls. Having anxiety doesn’t help either. She is a straight A student with a lead in the school play and a successful blog about toilets. Only thing is she has never had a best friend. Along comes new student Aretha. Could she become the best friend that Llewella wants and needs?
Before long, Llewella is following a diet Aretha has given her. She’s determined to be the greatest friend she can be, even when Aretha says and does things which make her feel less than great. Could the anxiety disorder be returning in full effect and is Aretha really good for Llewella after all?
The author does say at the beginning of the book that the story does contain vivid descriptions of panic attacks and references eating disordered behaviour but they do make sure that no sizes, calories or specific weights are mentioned. I think that this is a good thing as it could be triggering for some people.
I think overall that most people have had a toxic friend (I have) so this can be relatable to a lot of readers. I liked Llewella as a character and I really enjoyed reading this book.
Llewella has always felt different due to her skin colour and body shape in a school full of thin white girls. Having anxiety doesn’t help either. She is a straight A student with a lead in the school play and a successful blog about toilets. Only thing is she has never had a best friend. Along comes new student Aretha. Could she become the best friend that Llewella wants and needs?
Before long, Llewella is following a diet Aretha has given her. She’s determined to be the greatest friend she can be, even when Aretha says and does things which make her feel less than great. Could the anxiety disorder be returning in full effect and is Aretha really good for Llewella after all?
The author does say at the beginning of the book that the story does contain vivid descriptions of panic attacks and references eating disordered behaviour but they do make sure that no sizes, calories or specific weights are mentioned. I think that this is a good thing as it could be triggering for some people.
I think overall that most people have had a toxic friend (I have) so this can be relatable to a lot of readers. I liked Llewella as a character and I really enjoyed reading this book.
January 28, 2023
Oh how I remember how spiteful teenage girls could be at school and this book just brings it all back!
Llewella is a good girl. She's a school prefect, achieves great grades, has a successful blog - so why does she feel like the odd one out?
Enter the new student, Aretha, who is everything Llewella aspires to be; popular, glamorous, knowledgable,
Llewella is drawn to Aretha's energy, and is thrilled when they strike up a friendship. Llewella throws herself into it, determed to be the best friends ever!
It's not long, however, before Aretha begins to make big changes in Llewella's life, and not necessarily for the better. As Llewella's anxiety disorder begins to resurface, and she starts to questions some of her new best friend's choices, Llewella begins to wonder just how much she is prepared to give up in the name of friendship!
This story taps into the psyche of so many teenage girls who feel like 'the odd one out,'not realising that's how most of her peers feel. It's how we respond to those feelings that matters.
As the audience, the reader's begin to realise much sooner than Llewella, just how toxic and cohersive the 'friendship'/relationships is - but just how long will Llewella wait before she asserts herself and stands up for what she wants and believes in!
Llewella is a good girl. She's a school prefect, achieves great grades, has a successful blog - so why does she feel like the odd one out?
Enter the new student, Aretha, who is everything Llewella aspires to be; popular, glamorous, knowledgable,
Llewella is drawn to Aretha's energy, and is thrilled when they strike up a friendship. Llewella throws herself into it, determed to be the best friends ever!
It's not long, however, before Aretha begins to make big changes in Llewella's life, and not necessarily for the better. As Llewella's anxiety disorder begins to resurface, and she starts to questions some of her new best friend's choices, Llewella begins to wonder just how much she is prepared to give up in the name of friendship!
This story taps into the psyche of so many teenage girls who feel like 'the odd one out,'not realising that's how most of her peers feel. It's how we respond to those feelings that matters.
As the audience, the reader's begin to realise much sooner than Llewella, just how toxic and cohersive the 'friendship'/relationships is - but just how long will Llewella wait before she asserts herself and stands up for what she wants and believes in!
May 11, 2022
This is a really important topic and is essentially a PSHE lesson in a far more effective and compelling format - how much time and heartache could many of us avoided if we had been told how to navigate toxic friendships when young and figuring it out? There are many themes here. that I am sure many teenagers, students and young adults will identify with - as a grown up and a teacher, it certainly struck a chord with me! Natasha Devon has created a likeable and sympathetic protagonist in Llewella ("Loo"), who has an entertaining, humorous, insightful and sometimes heart-crushingly naïve approach to her new friendship and the challenges and opportunities of the final year of school. The toxic relationship is sensitively explored, with strategies offered to Loo for dealing with her predicament. What I really appreciate is the portrayal of the "slow creep" - and how the fun and intensity of a new best-friendship can mask a controlling and unhealthy situation.
Would recommend to Yr9+ - with content warning around disordered eating and a controlling relationship.
Would recommend to Yr9+ - with content warning around disordered eating and a controlling relationship.
May 20, 2022
I'd like to think life was easier for me when I was a teenager but really... it wasn't much different from llewella's story. Teens... especially girls can be so b*tchy it's unreal.
I was initially drawn to this book because I suffer with anxiety and always have done so I was curious to see how mental health was going to be portrayed. The author did it complete justice and the topics covered are quite sensitive but so so relatable!
It covered coping with mental health and being able to manage it well but also with relapse which I believe is super important because most of us with long-term mental health generally relapse at one point or another and need support to get out of the hole again so.to speak.
I cant say too much more without slipping in spoilers but the characters are really well developed and they really show us what its like living as a teenage girl in today's world.
For anyone that has a teenager I definitely think it's worth getting them to read it. Overall enjoyable for everyone though. I highly recommend it 👌
I was initially drawn to this book because I suffer with anxiety and always have done so I was curious to see how mental health was going to be portrayed. The author did it complete justice and the topics covered are quite sensitive but so so relatable!
It covered coping with mental health and being able to manage it well but also with relapse which I believe is super important because most of us with long-term mental health generally relapse at one point or another and need support to get out of the hole again so.to speak.
I cant say too much more without slipping in spoilers but the characters are really well developed and they really show us what its like living as a teenage girl in today's world.
For anyone that has a teenager I definitely think it's worth getting them to read it. Overall enjoyable for everyone though. I highly recommend it 👌
June 13, 2022
Firstly let me just say I’m so glad I’m not a teenager anymore . I was lucky and managed to get through my school years with mobiles being something you played snake on as a text was 20p a time to send and Facebook hadn’t appeared yet . To think of all that time I invested in MySpace pages and msn messenger.
I had anxiety through school years and I don’t know how I would coped now in an age where you are bombarded online with who you ‘should be’ not who you are . I find it bad enough an im in my 30s !
Self worth and respect are not valued for the wealth they are ! Instead toxicity seems to be becoming more and more the normal . This book gives a wonderful insight into the social dilemas and peer pressures that nearly everyone teenager and adult alike face.
Although it is marketed towards young adults, it's an accessible read for anyone of any age.
The characters are well developed and the issues of the main characters mental health are spoken about respectfully, confidently and with sensitivity
I would highly recommend
I had anxiety through school years and I don’t know how I would coped now in an age where you are bombarded online with who you ‘should be’ not who you are . I find it bad enough an im in my 30s !
Self worth and respect are not valued for the wealth they are ! Instead toxicity seems to be becoming more and more the normal . This book gives a wonderful insight into the social dilemas and peer pressures that nearly everyone teenager and adult alike face.
Although it is marketed towards young adults, it's an accessible read for anyone of any age.
The characters are well developed and the issues of the main characters mental health are spoken about respectfully, confidently and with sensitivity
I would highly recommend
July 17, 2022
Toxic made me stressed. In the good way, in the stay up after bedtime way, in the "I only took so long to read this because work and sleep are mandatory" way. It was such a perfect exploration of toxic relationships which we've all had one or two of I'm sure. Maybe not as bad as Aretha and Loo but with the same essence. I could see myself in Loo, falling into the same rabbit-hole of support Aretha, bowing down to her. But at the same time Aretha was so wonderfully realised, so human - not a caricature, that you can't blame Loo for the path she takes.
Other things of note: this made me miss Aberystwyth with my whole heart even though they were there for a day and a night; pointing out that S Club 7 and The Spice Girls were from the 90s was uncalled for and hurtful :( I don't need to be reminded of that!
Other things of note: this made me miss Aberystwyth with my whole heart even though they were there for a day and a night; pointing out that S Club 7 and The Spice Girls were from the 90s was uncalled for and hurtful :( I don't need to be reminded of that!
September 15, 2022
definitely a YA read, little young for me i think but it still has some interesting themes and lessons that the characters learn. but the question that’s in my head is people like aretha, do they know that they are mean? and if so do they want to change? it’s like we see a clear protagonist-antagonist theme here but is it really as simple as that?
i suppose that would be a different story, and i love a good redemption arc.
oh and i will mention that the mental health themes were discussed well, i relate to the anxiety stuff and it was very honest. sometimes it can be very false and badly written but i didn’t feel like that this time. oh and i’d want to see how llewela would cope with her eating disorder after aretha as well, like the struggles etc as she slowly starts to think healthier abt food.
i suppose that would be a different story, and i love a good redemption arc.
oh and i will mention that the mental health themes were discussed well, i relate to the anxiety stuff and it was very honest. sometimes it can be very false and badly written but i didn’t feel like that this time. oh and i’d want to see how llewela would cope with her eating disorder after aretha as well, like the struggles etc as she slowly starts to think healthier abt food.
May 27, 2022
Firstly this book comes with trigger warnings. Please read them and assess whether you feel able to read this book. Support organisations can be found at the end of the book.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book about an absolutely toxic friend. I will say the help organisations at the end are aimed at young people and the girls in this book are 17. However I am 38 and I can still relate Aretha to people I met at school (and uni when I was 27!).
There are.some loose ends in the book, if you wanted to know what happened to Aretha for example, or what Loo does next.
This was definitely a book of self discovery for Loo and will hopefully help many other young people.
Thank you to Netgalley for this arc
I thoroughly enjoyed this book about an absolutely toxic friend. I will say the help organisations at the end are aimed at young people and the girls in this book are 17. However I am 38 and I can still relate Aretha to people I met at school (and uni when I was 27!).
There are.some loose ends in the book, if you wanted to know what happened to Aretha for example, or what Loo does next.
This was definitely a book of self discovery for Loo and will hopefully help many other young people.
Thank you to Netgalley for this arc
July 25, 2022
Honestly I had to give up on this one. I don’t know if it’s because I’m now ‘old’ but the constant buzzwords and - I cringe at saying this as a woke person myself - the woke-isms. I couldn’t pay attention to anything but the language, it was just constant. I guess it could have eventually become a plot point, but it was just too much for me. I don’t think I could carry out a conversation with this teenager, as laudable as her activism is. I did, however, love the concept of her blog - and my husband may have discovered his new hobby!
I’ve also suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life, was a prolific self harmer with food issues. Seemed safer to bail out sooner rather than later.
Sorry, DNF at 11% 🙁
I’ve also suffered from depression and anxiety for most of my life, was a prolific self harmer with food issues. Seemed safer to bail out sooner rather than later.
Sorry, DNF at 11% 🙁
May 4, 2022
As the parent of a teenage girl, I found Toxic disturbing. Poor Llewella has self esteem issues that new girl Aretha ruthlessly exploits out of jealousy. It's wonderfully written and the author clearly remembers what it was like to be a teenager herself. I loved the Welshness in the books. It's been a long time since I heard the words nain and taid. My nain got me through my difficult teenage years single-handedly. I recommend this book to anyone with friendship group issues and everyone who feels that they aren't enough.
June 22, 2023
Toxic was an interesting exploration of the dynamics between friends and how young adults can make many mistakes or end up in toxic friendships but these relationships don't work out in the long run. Llewella experiences this and endures emotional torment from Aretha who is very manipulative. Following the narrative of Llewella undergoing and navigating this negative influence in her life was interesting.
November 5, 2022
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for sending me this book. I must admit I wasn’t sure about this book at first however i did end up really enjoying it. It is a great young adult novel dealing with challenges that a lot of teenagers will face but in a sensitive manner. I also love the representation within this book. Well worth the read
February 24, 2023
Seorang sahabat harus selalu
#1. Memberi Anda ruang, bahkan saat Anda tidak memintanya.
#2. Memberitahu Anda kebenaran mereka, bahkan ketika Anda tidak ingin mendengarnya.
#3. Membantu Anda terlihat baik, bahkan saat Anda tidak tahu bahwa Anda membutuhkannya.
#4. Berada di sana untuk Anda, bahkan ketika Anda tidak pantas mendapatkannya.
Benar?
#blurb
#Goodreads
#ArahUtama
#1. Memberi Anda ruang, bahkan saat Anda tidak memintanya.
#2. Memberitahu Anda kebenaran mereka, bahkan ketika Anda tidak ingin mendengarnya.
#3. Membantu Anda terlihat baik, bahkan saat Anda tidak tahu bahwa Anda membutuhkannya.
#4. Berada di sana untuk Anda, bahkan ketika Anda tidak pantas mendapatkannya.
Benar?
#blurb
#Goodreads
#ArahUtama
Displaying 1 - 30 of 47 reviews