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The Werewolf's Guide to Life: A Manual for the Newly Bitten
Have you been attacked by a wolf-like creature in the last 30 days? Was it after the sun had set and under a full moon? If you answered, “yes” to both these questions, there’s a very good chance that you were bitten by a werewolf. You now have less than a month before the full moon returns and with it your first transformation into a savage, bloodthirsty beast.
Survival is an option, but first, know
* Werewolves are real.
* The majority of lycanthropes who do not have access to this book die during or shortly after their first transformations, generally due to heart failure, gunshot wounds, exposure, drowning or suicide.
* Hollywood horror movies are NOT to be used as guides to living as a werewolf. Their goal is not to educate, but to entertain. As a result, they are largely ignorant of the realities of the condition.
* Ignorance creates monsters; lycanthropy does not.
* You are not a monster.
The Werewolf's Guide to Life cuts through the fiction and guides you through your first transformation and beyond, offering indispensable advice on how to tell if you’re really a werewolf, post-attack etiquette, breaking the news to your spouse, avoiding government abduction, and how to not just survive, but thrive. You cannot afford to not read this book. Your very life depends on it.
Survival is an option, but first, know
* Werewolves are real.
* The majority of lycanthropes who do not have access to this book die during or shortly after their first transformations, generally due to heart failure, gunshot wounds, exposure, drowning or suicide.
* Hollywood horror movies are NOT to be used as guides to living as a werewolf. Their goal is not to educate, but to entertain. As a result, they are largely ignorant of the realities of the condition.
* Ignorance creates monsters; lycanthropy does not.
* You are not a monster.
The Werewolf's Guide to Life cuts through the fiction and guides you through your first transformation and beyond, offering indispensable advice on how to tell if you’re really a werewolf, post-attack etiquette, breaking the news to your spouse, avoiding government abduction, and how to not just survive, but thrive. You cannot afford to not read this book. Your very life depends on it.
256 pages, Paperback
First published September 15, 2009
25 people are currently reading
681 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
December 7, 2024
Another hysterical, yet informative manual for all aspiring lycans! And possibly other Greeks like me, who are just hairy enough to be mistaken for one. Everything from what to expect from your initial transformation, where to find local wolf meet ups, ‘fur chasers,’ and how to enjoy your life as a snout breather. It also has a chapter on dealing with troublesome blood suckers, but that topic is sooooo overdone these days. I’m not sure if Twilight or Underworld exhausted it more, but it’s only about 4 pages thankfully, so very minimal. The idea here is that werewolves are people, too. They have feelings and also need to work, have romance, and live full, productive and meaningful lives, howling at a full moon, while hopefully securely chained to a sturdy tree somewhere. It’s been a few years since I’ve read this book, but the mirror picture on page one still cracks me up!
June 16, 2010
This isn't a thriller. It doesn't really have a plot. If you're not a fan of werewolves you won't like it, and if you are a fan but don't enjoy parody how-to books you won't like it either.
However, if you (like me) are somewhat of a geek and a werewolf fan and are looking for a light read then this is the perfect find. It's quirky and sharp, and though there aren't any laugh out loud moments, it'll have you smiling quite a lot.
However, if you (like me) are somewhat of a geek and a werewolf fan and are looking for a light read then this is the perfect find. It's quirky and sharp, and though there aren't any laugh out loud moments, it'll have you smiling quite a lot.
January 23, 2025
Parts of that were pretty funny actually. A spoofy "guide" to the newly turned werewolves lol.
October 6, 2025
This book contains some information helpful to my line of work, but there's also a good deal of misinformation, disinformation, and some outright lycanthrope propaganda. This might not be intentional on the part of the authors, but they made the mistake of relying too much on infected sources; failing to at least interview a handful of credible werewolf hunters makes this quite one-sided.
I get it. It's a guide for the newly bitten. But human readers should be aware that this does not paint a comprehensive or appropriately grim image of the curse of lycanthropy. The blight of the bitten upon human society.
And I haven't even mentioned the absurd notion that lycanthropes actually double in weight when they transform. This is, quite simply, scientifically impossible for biological animals. Pure fiction. Mass does not spontaneously generate. The biters spread this disinformation because it makes them sound scarier—makes many a skilled hunter question whether he can take on such a monster. Of course, lycanthropes do SEEM to grow when they change, but this is mainly due to the long, bristling fur. Ever shave a husky or other long-haired dog? Yeah. Quite a difference.
The shifting of body proportions during a transformation also accounts for some of the perceived increase in size. A werewolf can, of course, quickly turn all avaliable stomach contents and stored fat into muscle (you will never encounter an obese lycanthrope), but turning partially digested beef into a similar amount of lupine sinew is a transference of weight—not an increase.
All that being said, a werewolf usually does end up weighing more than s/he weighed as a "human," but only through normal means: eating. And the "human" form will carry whatever new weight the beast amassed.
Anyway, the book is a mixed bag. I can't recommend any such pro-howler material, but I did come away with some new information that seems credible.
I usually write fiction, but I used to be a journalist, and I'm currently writing a book about my own experiences with lycanthropes. Release date is sometime next year. Follow me for more.
I get it. It's a guide for the newly bitten. But human readers should be aware that this does not paint a comprehensive or appropriately grim image of the curse of lycanthropy. The blight of the bitten upon human society.
And I haven't even mentioned the absurd notion that lycanthropes actually double in weight when they transform. This is, quite simply, scientifically impossible for biological animals. Pure fiction. Mass does not spontaneously generate. The biters spread this disinformation because it makes them sound scarier—makes many a skilled hunter question whether he can take on such a monster. Of course, lycanthropes do SEEM to grow when they change, but this is mainly due to the long, bristling fur. Ever shave a husky or other long-haired dog? Yeah. Quite a difference.
The shifting of body proportions during a transformation also accounts for some of the perceived increase in size. A werewolf can, of course, quickly turn all avaliable stomach contents and stored fat into muscle (you will never encounter an obese lycanthrope), but turning partially digested beef into a similar amount of lupine sinew is a transference of weight—not an increase.
All that being said, a werewolf usually does end up weighing more than s/he weighed as a "human," but only through normal means: eating. And the "human" form will carry whatever new weight the beast amassed.
Anyway, the book is a mixed bag. I can't recommend any such pro-howler material, but I did come away with some new information that seems credible.
I usually write fiction, but I used to be a journalist, and I'm currently writing a book about my own experiences with lycanthropes. Release date is sometime next year. Follow me for more.
Read
October 27, 2009Let's face it - recently, werewolves have been left out of popular media. We have a ton of new films, TV shows, and books (cough cough thanks Twilight) about vampires; zombies have been getting the nod in films like Zombieland and books like World War Z or The Zombie Survival Guide; even slashers have been pretty much static throughout the years with a slew of remakes hitting left and right. So it's a good thing that Ritch Duncan and Bob Powers decided to let the werewolf into the horror genre again with their guide book, because it's a fantastic doorway to making werewolves popular again.
The Werewolf's Guide to Life reads much like any self-help book - except this time, the authors are assuming that the reason you're reading it is because you have recently been bitten by a slobbering lycanthrope, and now are confused about how to live your life protecting yourself and others when you change on your Moons. Duncan and Powers know how to suspend disbelief; it is so easy to read their prose and find yourself pretending that you may actually be a werewolf that when the time comes to put the book down, you actually long for a few more chapters dealing with werewolf dilemmas you've never thought of. I know I did.
What makes the book so goddamn fun is the topics discussed within. There's a wealth of knowledge here that anyone planning on writing a script or novel should read and think about. Duncan and Powers have done their research, and much like Zombieland that I recently reviewed, they highlight some critical cliches within the werewolf genre and give them a meaning. Any item from a werewolf movie you can think of is somehow included and explained in this guide. The duo even discuss possible werewolf clans, the problems with a whole society of werewolves, and contest some myths about werewolf life. The amount of creativity that has gone into crafting a world that is filled with lycanthropes and the obstructions they face with daily living conditions is honestly overwhelmingly wonderful.
Most of all, The Werewolf's Guide to Life is also funny, and a really fast read. It's almost impossible to put down, due in part to Duncan and Power's knowledge of practical guidebooks. If you really are a werewolf, this is the book to read. And if you're not, the book will surely make you feel like you are one, a perfect pairing for Halloween. Let's hope Duncan and Powers decide to take on another guidebook - witches, anyone?
The Werewolf's Guide to Life reads much like any self-help book - except this time, the authors are assuming that the reason you're reading it is because you have recently been bitten by a slobbering lycanthrope, and now are confused about how to live your life protecting yourself and others when you change on your Moons. Duncan and Powers know how to suspend disbelief; it is so easy to read their prose and find yourself pretending that you may actually be a werewolf that when the time comes to put the book down, you actually long for a few more chapters dealing with werewolf dilemmas you've never thought of. I know I did.
What makes the book so goddamn fun is the topics discussed within. There's a wealth of knowledge here that anyone planning on writing a script or novel should read and think about. Duncan and Powers have done their research, and much like Zombieland that I recently reviewed, they highlight some critical cliches within the werewolf genre and give them a meaning. Any item from a werewolf movie you can think of is somehow included and explained in this guide. The duo even discuss possible werewolf clans, the problems with a whole society of werewolves, and contest some myths about werewolf life. The amount of creativity that has gone into crafting a world that is filled with lycanthropes and the obstructions they face with daily living conditions is honestly overwhelmingly wonderful.
Most of all, The Werewolf's Guide to Life is also funny, and a really fast read. It's almost impossible to put down, due in part to Duncan and Power's knowledge of practical guidebooks. If you really are a werewolf, this is the book to read. And if you're not, the book will surely make you feel like you are one, a perfect pairing for Halloween. Let's hope Duncan and Powers decide to take on another guidebook - witches, anyone?
June 12, 2018
I was not recently bitten by a werewolf, but if I did definitely feel I would be a lot more prepared to survive my first round of 'moons'.
It was a fun read and I really enjoyed it.
It was a fun read and I really enjoyed it.
May 11, 2015
That was strangely fun to read. It is useful to keep that kind of "just in case" books in my library, although I am a vampire, but who knows! :D
February 12, 2022
The Werewolf’s Guide to Life: A Manual for the Newly Bitten
By: Ritch Duncan and Bob Powers
This is exactly the type of book I’ve always wanted to write. An in-universe, practical, funny exploration of a fictional world building concept. It’s a silly fun read that I was overjoyed to find shelved incorrectly in the nonfiction section of my library!
There are some aspects that I wish could have been explored more, which funnily enough I would identify as academic biases should I be rating this as an actual nonfiction book. It lacks intersectionality and focuses almost entirely on the American Christian Male werewolf experience. Very serious concepts like how all werewolf women are rendered infertile are just kind of glossed over, while the fact that werewolf transformations solve male-pattern baldness is spotlighted. But at the same time, balancing the seriousness of some of these ideas with the purposefully funny tone of the book is a difficult one I’m sure. But I would’ve loved to hear more about werewolf coping with these issues and other problems that arise.
This book doesn’t have a narrative at all and it’s perfectly charming that way. The book begins with the small nitty-gritty and expands the world slowly as the chapters go on and other paranormal creatures and goings on are alluded to or explained in a bit of depth. I really want to know more about the world, in fact, and was genuinely surprised to see Ritch Duncan as having only ever written the one book. Another book from the perspective of vampires, with a slight chapter on the disgusting werewolves, seems like a natural sequel!
But it does add to the illusion, and I can genuinely see why my library classified this as non-fiction. At no point besides the seller’s categorization of ‘parody’ does the book imply anything other than it is totally factual. It makes it easy to slip into the wondrous world of what if, considering that the book you’re holding really could be real, and you get to daydream the same way you used to when bored in your junior high math class. Or at least how I would daydream in my junior high math classes.
If you’re a geek for worldbuilding, you’ll love this book!
By: Ritch Duncan and Bob Powers
This is exactly the type of book I’ve always wanted to write. An in-universe, practical, funny exploration of a fictional world building concept. It’s a silly fun read that I was overjoyed to find shelved incorrectly in the nonfiction section of my library!
There are some aspects that I wish could have been explored more, which funnily enough I would identify as academic biases should I be rating this as an actual nonfiction book. It lacks intersectionality and focuses almost entirely on the American Christian Male werewolf experience. Very serious concepts like how all werewolf women are rendered infertile are just kind of glossed over, while the fact that werewolf transformations solve male-pattern baldness is spotlighted. But at the same time, balancing the seriousness of some of these ideas with the purposefully funny tone of the book is a difficult one I’m sure. But I would’ve loved to hear more about werewolf coping with these issues and other problems that arise.
This book doesn’t have a narrative at all and it’s perfectly charming that way. The book begins with the small nitty-gritty and expands the world slowly as the chapters go on and other paranormal creatures and goings on are alluded to or explained in a bit of depth. I really want to know more about the world, in fact, and was genuinely surprised to see Ritch Duncan as having only ever written the one book. Another book from the perspective of vampires, with a slight chapter on the disgusting werewolves, seems like a natural sequel!
But it does add to the illusion, and I can genuinely see why my library classified this as non-fiction. At no point besides the seller’s categorization of ‘parody’ does the book imply anything other than it is totally factual. It makes it easy to slip into the wondrous world of what if, considering that the book you’re holding really could be real, and you get to daydream the same way you used to when bored in your junior high math class. Or at least how I would daydream in my junior high math classes.
If you’re a geek for worldbuilding, you’ll love this book!
June 6, 2020
Interesting read
I read this book because I'm interested in werewolves. After finishing this, I now know that there is at least 10 different groups of people after the destruction of werewolves depending on how much you split them up. Before reading this, I thought becoming a werewolf was like turning into a furry with better senses than a normal person. I thought that it was interesting how the author described werewolves similar to autism in the sense that they are still humans. Although it would have been interesting if there was info about cryptids people mistake for werewolves, like the dog man, direwolves, hell hounds, or skin walkers. Any thoughts I had about becoming a werewolf myself have gone away, as after reading this it doesn't fun having to invest the amount of time and resources it would take to live a life longer than a non lycanthrope. A good portion of this book seemed to deal with helping lycanthropes from committing suicide. If I ever have the unfortunate event of meeting a werewolf that didn't follow the instructions in this book, fear will no longer be the main emotion that will come over me, and would more likely be mixed feelings because of what it mentioned about why a werewolf go on a rampage during the full moon.
I read this book because I'm interested in werewolves. After finishing this, I now know that there is at least 10 different groups of people after the destruction of werewolves depending on how much you split them up. Before reading this, I thought becoming a werewolf was like turning into a furry with better senses than a normal person. I thought that it was interesting how the author described werewolves similar to autism in the sense that they are still humans. Although it would have been interesting if there was info about cryptids people mistake for werewolves, like the dog man, direwolves, hell hounds, or skin walkers. Any thoughts I had about becoming a werewolf myself have gone away, as after reading this it doesn't fun having to invest the amount of time and resources it would take to live a life longer than a non lycanthrope. A good portion of this book seemed to deal with helping lycanthropes from committing suicide. If I ever have the unfortunate event of meeting a werewolf that didn't follow the instructions in this book, fear will no longer be the main emotion that will come over me, and would more likely be mixed feelings because of what it mentioned about why a werewolf go on a rampage during the full moon.
November 19, 2018
A parody of self-help books comes to this fur coved guide to the bitten life. A seriously funny book on everything werewolf related. Gone are the movie myths or old wives tale- no not in this book! This is practical information on how you really need to get a good paying job to support your 3 days a month change into a werewolf, and how to avoid getting found out about your lovely secret and possibly killed.
I enjoyed the humor et serious undertone of this werewolf book. There no real plot to this just gads of information.
I enjoyed the humor et serious undertone of this werewolf book. There no real plot to this just gads of information.
October 10, 2024
A fun, practical approach to life as a werewolf. Each area of life is addressed--ideal living environment, friendships, best careers. Also, plenty of details on how to handle and prepare for monthly transformation. The chapters on vampires and fur chasers were especially entertaining. Fun artwork as well.
May 28, 2025
A fiction non-fiction book. As the title says, it was like a reference manual for werewolves. No plot, just a reference manual.
There was nothing wrong with it, and it was even kind of interesting, but without a plot I had no drive to read it. Still, I got more than a third of the way through it.
There was nothing wrong with it, and it was even kind of interesting, but without a plot I had no drive to read it. Still, I got more than a third of the way through it.
September 18, 2019
It's the basic how to survive as a new werewolf book, similar in my opinon to the zombie survival guide in some ways.
it was a fun read, but as others have said, it is it's own kinda book, not a werewolf story but a guide
take that into consideration as you think about reading this book
it was a fun read, but as others have said, it is it's own kinda book, not a werewolf story but a guide
take that into consideration as you think about reading this book
May 3, 2020
Está interesante y divertido. Toma a la idea original del Hombre Lobo salvaje y sin mucho control de sí mismo y no como al Hombre Lobo de novelas de amor adolescente (Si soy sincero, me hubiese gustado un poco de ello) Manuel para sobrevivir y para proteger a los seres queridos.
January 16, 2023
The book was overall great. However, this is my first time reading a How To style of book and it was not my style of reading. I did like the start of each chapter introducing a story that would relate to the How To section.
July 21, 2023
Perfectly adequate novelty book.
I was sort of hoping that it'd go a little further than running through all the common werewolf tropes, but hey - The humour is alright, if a little repetitive. It's also very American-focused!
I was sort of hoping that it'd go a little further than running through all the common werewolf tropes, but hey - The humour is alright, if a little repetitive. It's also very American-focused!
October 18, 2017
Geek fun if you like werewolves.
March 28, 2018
5 hours 35 minutes... a little long for the topic and format I thought, but it provided a few laughs... just couldn't give it three stars. I would recommend listening to it in small bites.
June 13, 2018
If I’m ever bitten by a werewolf I will now know what to do. This was a fun book
August 31, 2019
Interesting parody self-help book. Explored the in-depth and long term implications of being a werewolf. So much more to it than I imagined. Creative work.
November 27, 2019
A very tongue in cheek book, clearly. I wouldn't say it's a great book but ok to read in short, and a testiment to the authors for a 230 page backstory on a monster as old as time!
March 1, 2021
Funny read!
June 19, 2021
This was fun, in a Zombie Survival Guide kind of way.
June 12, 2022
It was a fun read for a while but it began to overstay it's welcome.
October 8, 2023
Didn’t feel like it was meant to be a comedy
December 5, 2023
Didn’t finish reading, not that interesting
Read
January 19, 2025If you like to pretend we live in a world with fantasy creatures, and then read a manual for them like i did, then this is the book for you.
November 9, 2025
Decent book
I loved the book. It was a very entertaining read. Few spelling errors and formatting mistakes, but overall a good book.
I loved the book. It was a very entertaining read. Few spelling errors and formatting mistakes, but overall a good book.
January 20, 2017
becoming a werewolf it looked so easy.... mind changing
May 13, 2024
This was really funny. It reminds me of when your teacher would wheel out that big ass TV to watch a documentary and this dude’s voice sounded exactly like that!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews